Episode 9 Hacker's CBBC Top Ten

Hacker's CBBC top ten!

# Oh, top ten!

# Mmm, yes! #

You all right, cockers? It's me, Hacker.

And I'm counting down my top ten CBBC shows.

So come and join me in my kennel

but watch your feet on the beige carpet, cocker -

it's got a delicate pile!

At number three, it's Strange Hill High.

This is a show all about some very weird children.

I mean, have you seen those sticks attached to their arms?

What's all that about, eh, cockers, eh?

I don't know why this programme's on my list, actually,

because it contains two things I despise the most -

puppets and school. Oh!

Puppets scare me, frankly. Horrible little things.

They make me physically retch

with their jerky movements and stupid mouths.

I mean, why would anybody watch that? It's a travesty, cocker!

As for school, huh! I'll never forget my first day at school.

I walked into the classroom and the teacher said, "Sit down."

I said, "Oi! You can't tell me to sit down, I'm not a dog!"

And she replied, "Yes, you are a dog",

and I went, "Oh, yeah! Nyaaah!"

Then she said, "What's 2 + 2?"

And I said, "It's a sum."

She said, "I know it's a sum, but what is 2 + 2?"

I said, "It's a sum, cocker."

She said, "I know it's a sum, but what's 2 + 2?"

I said, "Are you not listening to me, love? It's a sum!"

"2 + 2 is a sum!"

She said, "I know it's a sum, but what's the answer to 2 + 2?"

And I said, "I've absolutely no idea! Nyaah!"

Anyway, she said, "Get your jotter out."

And I thought she said, "Get your otter out!"

Luckily, I did have an otter in me satchel

and that's why I never went to school again.

So in my top ten list of CBBC shows, Strange Hill High is number three.

Oh!