Episode 1 Hacker's Olympic Rundown


Episode 1

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Oh sport! Huzzah, it's the Olympics. Today's top stories. Man spills

:00:15.:00:25.

bottle of olive oil over himself minutes before the opening ceremony.

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Belgian tennis player caught taking nap during match. And strong winds

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that cancelled the rogue were caused by beach volleyball players! Ooh,

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they shouldn't have had that prawn bhuna before the match. What about

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that opening ceremony? What stadium did it take place in again. The

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noise and the visuals inside the Maracana. The where? Maracana.

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Where? Well there is only one way to remember that!

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MUSIC: Maracana. My favourite part was when the model Giselle tried to

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win gold in the strut. WHISTLES. How long is she? Come on,

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love, we still have four hours of people climbing up buildings to get

:02:01.:02:06.

through! Come on will you? Welcome to my Serries that gives you a

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summary of the important stuff happening in Rio. I have got a

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reporter close the action. Wilf where are you? I'm still in the car

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park. That is exciting. What are the car parks like in Rio? No, mate I'm

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in Weaste near Manchester. I locked my keys in the van and missed me

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flight. What a Weaste of space. Do you get it? At least I know what I'm

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on ago. And time for the latest from the pool. I hope they haven't potted

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the black too soon. No Hacker, you're supposed to be talking about

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the swimming pool. Of course, but won't the balls sink to the bottom?

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Just talk about the swimming. Ready and cue! I hope I don't pot the

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black too soon. It has probably already sunk to the bottom. Just run

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the clip. The In the 100 metre breaststroke, Adam Peaty won Team

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GB's first swimming medal. But what about this Hungarian competitors

:03:27.:03:29.

marital status. She has been working with her husband, who is her coach.

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Married to a coach? Bit odd that ain't it? But then again I was once

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betroted to a six-seater mini-Mus. -- minibus. On to the fencing and is

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anyone else having trouble working out which are the British

:03:53.:04:00.

competitors? Still none the wiser. If only there was one way to make it

:04:01.:04:06.

clear who was who. Any way, let's see how Giselle's getting on. Come

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on! We have not even got to the giant insect robot yet. And the most

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obvious water polo fact of the day. The two metre line is near the goal.

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That is it for today. I'm back tomorrow, but now I'm going to

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settle down and tuck into my nice big cauldron of stew. I hope I

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didn't leave it anywhere daft. Oh, budgies. Thanks for popping in

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Giselle. See you!

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