Episode 10 HH: Gory Games Play Along

# If mummies, rats and fleas ain't your thing

# And you don't like the sound of an exploding king

# If you're easily scared and don't laugh at poo

# Better turn off This show ain't for you

# Still watching? Then let's test your brains

# With Horrible Histories Gory Games

# Horrible Histories Gory...

# ..Games! #

Hello and welcome to Gory Games with me, Dave Lamb,

and my assistant, Rattus Rattus.

And not forgetting my assistant, Terry the Tapeworm.

HE LAUGHS

Oh, stop it, Terry, that tickles, that tickles.

This is the show where you get to test your knowledge

of Horrible Histories, with quirky quiz questions and gory games,

so before we learn any more about Rattus' insides...

HE LAUGHS

He's a tickly little worm!

..Let's meet our Horrible Historians.

Hi, my name's Mia.

-Hi, my name's Lucas.

-Hi, my name's Emily.

Brilliant. Lovely to see you all. All present and correct.

And remember, you can play along, too, using the Gory Games App.

If you haven't got it yet, check out the CBBC website.

I've come up with a little Ancient Egyptian warm-up game.

Our contestants are going to race each other in a house-building

contest, using that most common of all Egyptian building materials.

Bricks made out of dried animal poop.

Grab a brick, we're off in three ,two, one...

No, no, no. No, we're not.

This is a health and safety nightmare.

You can't let children handle these bricks

if they are really made from... for heaven's sake.

Whoops.

I'm going to need a clean shirt.

# Horrible Histories Gory Games. #

Right, Mia, Lucas, Emily, you are playing to win Year Spheres.

Each Year Sphere contains a historical date and,

at the end of the show, your Year Sphere dates will be added up

with AD dates being added to your total and BC dates being subtracted

from it. So if these were your Year Spheres your total would be, Rattus?

Hm? Oh, a million.

HE SIGHS

-735.

-Oh, I thought we were rounding up to the nearest million.

No, we're not. At the end of the show, the person with the highest

year score will win a truly-unique historical prize.

And it's something I've picked out myself,

so you won't be disappointed.

Though for legal reasons, I have to tell you that you may, in fact,

be disappointed.

HE CHUCKLES

Right, let's get cracking

and, to find out what this round's about, it's over to the Gory Grid.

Aarh, the Putrid Pirates, it be.

Your four pirate topics are Disguises, Blackbeard,

Treasure and Sugar.

Mia, you get to choose first in this round.

What will it be?

Disguises.

Disguises.

True or false?

Some pirates attacked merchant ships by disguising themselves as women.

Some pirates attacked merchant ships by disguising

themselves as women. Is that true or false?

Let's see your answers now, please.

Right, Mia and Lucas going for true, Emily going for false.

Let's hear what the actual answer is.

It's true!

HE LAUGHS

Yeah. It was a good way to lure the merchant ship in, by pretending

to be ladies in distress.

"Oh, help me, sir, please help me, I'm a lady in distress."

Yeah, I need to work on the voice a little bit.

Just a little bit, I think, yes.

Lucas, it's your turn to pick a topic, so pick away.

I'm going to go with Blackbeard.

Blackbeard.

'Tis I, Blackbeard, the pirate. Here be my question.

True or false?

So, what do you think, is that true or is that false?

Show me your answers now, please.

All going for true. Well, let's see if you're all right or all wrong.

It's true.

Yes, and he'd chop off their whole hand if they had more than one ring.

Oh, that's horrible!

Huh, and if the rat thinks it's horrible then it's really horrible.

Emily, your turn to choose a topic.

Er, Sugar.

That is a prop question.

Ooh, prop question, prop question.

It's a bag of sugar.

True or false? In the 1700s, there was

so much sugar, it was quite worthless.

Hm, so you've had a good look.

What do you think, true or false?

They've all gone for false.

You're absolutely right. Sugar was one of the most precious

things around in the 1700s, so well done.

The question remaining in this round is on Treasure.

True or false? When us pirates buried treasure,

we would sometimes murder a prisoner and bury him on top of the treasure.

Eugh, that's horrible. But is it true or is it false?

OK, all three of you agreeing on false.

Let's find out what the actual answer is.

It's...true!

HE LAUGHS

Yeah. That way, if someone tried to dig up the treasure, they'd find

a skellington and think it was just a grave.

It worked every time.

And that is the end of the round so, Emily,

just for now, you're history, I'm afraid, but you two, fingers

on your buzzers, cos we are going to have the tie-breaker question.

Beginning with the letter S,

in the famous pirate expression, what word went before "me timbers"?

-Lucas.

-Shiver.

"Shiver me timbers" is absolutely right,

time for you to choose your Year Sphere.

Ugh. Heave, heave, heave, heave, heave, heave.

Lucas, come and collect your Year Sphere.

You really don't want to get one with a Stone Age

date inside, as that could mean a few million minus points.

Ooh, nice one, or maybe not.

HE LAUGHS

So, winning the quiz

means that Lucas is automatically through to play the pirate game,

but will he be alone or will everyone get to play?

It's a single-player silly game

waiting for you at the

other end of that Time Sewer.

You'd better get down there and find out what it is.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, I'm rather keen on this next game.

It's time to play...

Pirate ships were infested with rats,

disease-ridden and tapeworm-carrying.

Oi, you leave Terry out of this.

And your job is to whack 'em.

Whack 15 rats in the time limit, to win the Year Sphere.

Are you ready? Your time starts now.

HOOTER SOUNDS

So, Lucas begins Whack A Rat

and poor old Rattus Rattus in the commentary box just can't watch.

RATTUS CRIES

Don't punish yourself, Rattus, I'll deal with this one.

An excellent strike from Lucas. Off to a fine start.

I'm afraid to say, Rattus, he's rather enjoying himself out there.

There's another one, another one takes it on the bonce.

There was a cheeky one popping his head up there

and he wasn't looking.

Oh, they're both there and he didn't quite get over in time to strike.

Oh, he got that one all right,

though, lovely little blow, that was.

Oh, Rattus Rattus, it's a shame you can't watch this cos it's good fun.

Oh! he's going to have a headache tomorrow.

I fear that may be optimism, but there's plenty of rats that

aren't being bopped on the head. There's going to be

thousands of them. This is just a little, tiny selection who,

admittedly, are being pretty badly beaten, but the majority are fine.

Do you know what, Dave?

It's actually quite fun, if I just imagine they're cats.

Yeah, you keep doing that, Rattus.

30 seconds remaining.

Some of these rats are actually enjoying it. That one with the

eye patch is certainly enjoying it, he's a cheeky little rat, that one.

Ooh!

It's OK, Rattus, that was a glancing blow, he'll live.

He may not be quite the same rat he was before but he'll certainly live.

As will Lucas who needs just one more and he's done it, he's done it.

Oh, there's one after the buzzer there, that was gratuitous,

but it doesn't detract from the fact that he's won.

Well done. Help yourself to a Year Sphere.

I'm afraid to say the down side is that Rattus is no longer

speaking to you.

Sorry, Rattus.

Of course, rat hunts weren't the only way that pirates

tackled their rodent problems.

Many crews had a ship's cat to catch the rats for them.

On to Round two, then and, to find out what's up next,

it's over to the Gory Grid.

It's the Gorgeous Georgians.

Here are your all-important Georgian topics - Fashion, Monkeys,

Nelson and Punishments.

Lucas, it's your turn to pick first. What's it going to be?

-Monkeys.

-Monkeys.

What was a Georgian powder monkey?

A, a woman who wore too much make-up,

B, a boy who carried gunpowder on ships or C, a circus monkey?

Was it A, a woman who wore too much make-up,

B, a boy who carried gunpowder on ships or C, a circus monkey?

Mia and Lucas agreeing with B, Emily on C.

Let's find out who's right.

The answer is B.

A powder monkey was a boy who carried gunpowder on battleships,

they could run fast and made smaller targets for the enemy.

Horrible, but true. Emily, it's your turn to pick a topic.

Fashion.

Fashion.

In Georgian times, what was a macaroni?

A, a travelling performer, B, a pasta salesman or C,

a man who wore make-up and tight clothes?

Was it A, a travelling performer, B, a pasta salesman or C,

a man who wore make-up and tight clothes?

Emily and Lucas agreeing on C, Mia out on her own on A.

Let's see what the answer is.

The answer is, of course, C,

a macaroni was a thoroughly-fashionable man, who wore

make-up and tight clothes.

So, points there for Emily and Lucas.

Mia, it's your turn to choose a topic next.

Punishments.

Punishments. That is a prop question.

Prop question, prop question!

There it is, it is a whip.

For a serious crime on board a Georgian ship, you could be

beaten by a nine-stranded whip called a what?

Was it A, a cat o'nine tails, B,

a back-stinger or C, a nine-a-line-a?

I know the answer, I know the answer.

RATTUS CACKLES

Let's see you answers now, please.

Mia going with A, the other two of you agreeing on B.

The answer is A,

it is a cat o' nine tails.

Proving that when something is really evil, it's always got

the letters C, A, T in it.

I think that's just coincidence, personally.

Mia and Lucas neck-and-neck, with two points, Emily on one,

but there's a question remaining, so all is still to play for.

The final question this round is on Nelson.

OK, here we go, good luck.

A, he was scared of water, B, he got horribly seasick or C,

he was petrified of seagulls?

So was it A, that he was scared of water, was it B, that he

got horribly seasick, or was it C, that he was petrified of seagulls?

Everybody completely in agreement, they're all going for B.

Let's see if you're all right or all wrong.

The answer is B,

he used to get horribly seasick.

There you go, you were all absolutely right

and I notice that Mia and Lucas have once again tied.

Bad luck, Emily, I'm sorry to say you're not

involved in the buzzer round this time.

It's the tie-break question.

Beginning with the letter F, which European country was

ruled by Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte?

France.

France is the correct answer,

Lucas, you've won yourself another Year Sphere. Go and collect it.

Lucas, as the quiz winner,

you're also through to play the Georgian Game

but will it be just you or will the others get to play, too?

Let's find out.

It's an all-play silly game.

So, that means it's off

down the Time Sewer with the lot of you.

Lead 'em off, Emily.

Oh, what an interesting entrance that was.

HE LAUGHS

Headfirst there.

Oh!

And there we go.

Now, Georgian people

famously loved to wear wigs - the bigger the better.

The only problem was that most of the wigs were alive with bugs.

It's time to play...

Loads of fleas and lice will be

flinging themselves from a giant Georgian wig.

You have to catch as many bugs in your hairnet as possible.

The player who catches the most wins the Year Sphere.

Are you ready? Let the flea flinging begin.

HOOTER SOUNDS

So, here we go with the Georgian Flea Fling and here come the bugs

and the lice and the creepy crawlies.

And as they all come raining down,

I should remind you that you can, of course, play along at home,

with the Gory Games App.

Now, Rattus, you must have a few of these bugs?

I certainly do, Dave, but I have to say I'm quite happy,

they pay their rent on time and they don't annoy the neighbours.

Good for them. Like to hear about upstanding bugs.

What do you feel, Rattus? Do you think maybe planting

yourself in one position might be the trick to this game?

That would be foolhardy, I think, cos the fleas

and the lice are less likely to jump in the same position.

Well, our contestants certainly all moving about quite a lot.

30 seconds remaining.

And as if to prove my point, there they are

coming from the left and from the right, to the

left again, the right, then the middle, then left

and right and the kids are all over the place.

Oh, lovely knee slide there from Lucas,

What a terrific catch that was, sliding on his knees like some

sort of celebrating footballer. But I fear that may turn out to be

a consolation for him because Emily is a long...

HOOTER SOUNDS

-Time's up.

-..way out in front at the moment and there's the hooter

and look at that, Emily's got an absolute net-full.

Welcome back, gamers.

Well, that was superb. Emily, help yourself to a Year Sphere.

All posh Georgians wore wigs,

but Georgian women's wigs could be enormous,

and some of them contained real fruit as decoration.

Over to the Gory Grid, to find out what's up next.

It's the Measly Middle Ages.

Here are your four Middle Ages topics - Crime, The Plague,

Toads and Monks.

Emily, it's your turn to pick first in this round,

what are you going to pick?

Crime.

Crime.

In 1317, a traveller was robbed of £200 whilst journeying

to London, but what was unusual about the robbers?

A, they were dressed as chickens, B, they were children

or C, they were monks?

HE LAUGHS

Let's see your answers now, please.

Lovely,

the girls agreeing on C, Lucas on his own with B.

Let's find out who's right.

The answer is C,

they were all monks.

The first, but not the last, criminals to wear hoodies.

OK, Mia, it's your turn to choose a topic.

The Plague.

The Plague.

The terrible disease, the bubonic plague,

arrived in Britain in 1348, but what did we call it?

A, the Devil's Spit, B, the Black Death or C, the Man Flu?

Was it A, the Devil's Spit, was it B, the Black Death, or was it C,

the Man Flu?

Yes, you've all agreed.

Anyway, let's see if you're all right or all wrong.

The answer is B, we called it the Black Death

because of the dark blotches it made on a victim's skin.

No, no, I'm fine.

SHE COUGHS

She's very far from fine.

But your performances were very fine

because you all had a point in that round.

Lucas, it's your turn to pick a topic.

I'm going to go with Monks.

Monks.

How did monks keep the bald patch in the middle of their heads?

A, they polished it with a piece of rock, or B, they would burn

it off with molten wax, or C, they had it grazed by a miniature sheep?

Let's see your answers now, please.

OK, Mia and Emily agreeing on A, Lucas again out on his own with C.

Let's see who's right.

The answer is A,

they polished it with a pumice stone - a sort of volcanic rock.

Is that what you use, Dave,

or do you have a miniature sheep in your pocket?

I have a miniature sheep...

I find it works for me.

Mia and Emily, you are on three points each.

There's only one question left in this round, it's on Toads

and it is a prop question.

Ooh, goody!

There is the prop, you'll have to trust me,

there's a toad in that bag.

A dried toad in the bag worn around the neck was a Middle Ages

cure for what?

Was it A, bleeding inside the body, B, sleeplessness or C, warts?

Here's a clue. It's either A, B or C.

OK.

Mia and Lucas have gone for C, Emily has gone for B.

The answer is A,

bleeding inside the body. No points scored in that particular game.

That means that, at the end of that round,

Mia and Emily are in a tie-break situation.

Lucas, for now, you're history, but you've already got

three spheres, so that shouldn't trouble you unduly.

Mia and Emily, let's get those fingers on the buzzers.

Beginning with the letter J, what word is the name

of the contest in which two medieval knights on horses...

SNEEZING SOUND

-Mia.

-Jousting.

Jousting is absolutely right, Mia,

well done, you've won yourself your first Year Sphere.

Come and collect it.

So, Mia, you're through to play the Victorian Game,

but will it be an all-play or a single-player game?

Let's find out right now.

It's an all-play Gory Game,

so that means it's off

down the Time Sewer with the lot of you.

Lead us off, Emily.

What a lovely entrance that was.

Now, then, William the Conqueror was a huge bully

so not many people were upset

when his funeral didn't go according to plan.

His servants stole his treasure and the church burned down.

It's time to play...

You are William's servants

and your challenge is to take his treasure and put it in your chest.

All the treasure is colour-coded and you must only take your own colour.

Whoever collects the most pieces wins the Year Sphere,

and you'd better be quick, because the church is going to burn down.

Your time starts now.

HOOTER SOUNDS

So, off we go with Yuckaroo.

It's interesting, both girls have gone straight for the candlestick.

There's a good twisting action there, isn't there, Rattus?

Excellent twisting action there, Dave.

Absolutely, you want to be going counter-clockwise, of course.

Emily wins the twist-off.

And late to the party is Lucas.

The twist-off's over, Lucas, it's all over

and you've come third on this occasion.

Should just say that stealing is of course bad, remember that, everyone.

Everybody's now got a candlestick.

I suppose they're quite easy to sell on, aren't they, Rattus?

I think they probably are, Dave. Everybody likes a good

candlestick, particularly if you've got a lot of candles.

Yeah, absolutely, and once it's appeared on TV, that's only going

-to increase its value.

-And, in fact,

if you couldn't sell it, you could melt it down

and fashion it into a bracelet, a brooch or buckles for your shoes.

Indeed, a trinket of your choice.

It certainly is quite a quiet and slow game,

I wish there was something we'd thought of to spice this game up.

Like that.

Argh.

Oh... And the guts have gone, William the Conqueror's belly

has exploded there and Mia copped for quite a lot of that.

I have to say, Lucas didn't bat an eyelid,

he just carried on fiddling with his goblet there and he's got it off.

Oh, and he's done it, he's done it, he's got the goblet.

Well done. Very good work there from Lucas.

30 seconds remaining.

And with just 30 seconds remaining now, it is actually

very, very close indeed.

This has rather crept up on us,

Rattus, but it's very tight at the top.

Mia fractionally ahead, at this point,

but people thieving things left, right and centre. They're just

flying out of the tomb of William the Conqueror now, these treasures.

Oh, and there's the fire! The church is now on fire

so the competition is drawing to a close.

They really need to steal these last few pieces.

There's a last-minute piece going in from Emily there.

Is it too little, too late?

-HOOTER SOUNDS

-Time's up.

Think it might be, yes, it's all over

and Mia has just about edged it.

# Horrible Histories Gory Games. #

Welcome back, gamers. Back behind those podiums for me.

I thought you all did extremely well there.

I can tell you, tied with five were Lucas and Emily.

With six, our winner was Mia.

Help yourself to another Year Sphere, Mia.

All that blood on your arm was worth it.

Lovely. Time for the final round.

Over to the Gory Grid, one last time, to find out who we've got.

It's the Vile Victorians. Good day.

No quirky quiz, of course, in our final round.

It's straight to our big all-play game.

Everyone, get down that Time Sewer.

What a scary one we've got for you all.

Ladies first.

What an absolute gentleman.

Hard to believe, but grave robbers

would steal dead bodies to sell to surgeons keen to

experiment on corpses, to learn how the human body works.

It's time to play...

You are a rotten robber. Your challenge - to steal three bodies

from the graveyard, get them through the railings, onto the carts, find

the key to the cemetery gate and get them onto the surgeon's table.

If you hear this noise...

WHISTLE

..then you must rush back to the cemetery and hide,

so the policeman doesn't spot you.

A second whistle means you can go again.

First to get all their bodies to the surgeon's table

and grab their dodgy money is the winner.

Three, two, one.

HOOTER SOUNDS

So, off go the grave robbers and there they go.

Leg-first option being taken very nicely there by Emily,

and look out, look at Lucas' technique here,

he seems to be trying to get a piggy back off the body there.

Well, that's an extraordinary technique, isn't it, Rattus?

It is extraordinary, Dave.

Quite, quite remarkable, but it's worked for him, he's managed

to get the corpse through the fence there and Mia struggling

away as well, of course, but there's Emily working away with the key.

Look at the cobwebs on there, how many spiders do you think

it's taken to get all those cobwebs on there, Rattus?

Er, just the one, he's very industrious.

I'll say he is, he's been working overtime and then some.

Emily brings the whole trolley through,

so now she doesn't need to do that. She won't get penalised

for doing it but it is wasting a lot of her time and it has meant that

Lucas has been able to overtake her. Well, that could be vital later on.

Mia, however, can't find her key. Dear, oh, dear.

The others carrying on bravely.

Lucas is having a dance with his corpse, interesting.

Mia still struggling, it's on the end of that chain

which you can just see coming out the pocket there.

Emily not troubled with any of that.

Oh, look at this, I'm a bit worried about Mia here.

Lucas has now...the dance is over and he's started kicking him

through the fence, which I think is a much better option.

Oh, look out, a corpse has fallen off Emily's trolley

but she's quickly put that back on.

WHISTLE

Now here's the policeman. Everybody's got to get back quick.

Get back, get out of sight and keep very, very quiet.

And here comes the bobby now.

Here comes the shifty-looking Peeler.

He's trying to arrest our three grave robbers,

but I have to say, he's not particularly observant.

Not only has he missed the grave robbers, but he seems not to

have spotted the corpses which are littering the floor around him.

WHISTLE

You can come out now. And here they come

and they're straight back into it. They can continue

with their grave robbing, which is good news for us.

There's the second corpse being delivered by Emily.

She's really in the lead.

Now, Mia, really, the key is on the end of that chain,

which you've had in your hand for quite some time now.

You really do need to look closely at the end of that chain.

Two bodies now for Lucas.

He's a little behind, but he's still in this.

Emily very, very much in the lead. That's her final corpse being

dragged through the railings right now.

Lucas catching up to her, but still a little way behind.

This is very good. It's looking excellent for Emily.

It's looking hopeless for Mia, who simply can't see the key

which we can all see right in front of her face,

Oh, she's going to be furious when she watches this back.

Oh, it's a foregone conclusion now. Emily has delivered the third,

but wait a minute, she's just got to pick that bag of money up.

Oh, she thinks she's got to undo the knot.

This could be a catastrophic misunderstanding of the rules from

Emily, because Lucas is right behind her. He's just got to pick that

bag up. That's what he's meant to do, pick the bag up. He's done it.

All he's got to do is get through the railings and he's won it.

And too late, Emily realises her mistake. It's too late,

because Lucas has beaten her by a whisker and there he is,

the greatest grave robber in town.

Welcome back.

Lucas, help yourself to another Year Sphere.

HE CHUCKLES

What did you think, Emily. Did you think you'd won it?

The string was attached to the bag and I tried to undo the string.

But you had to take it off the hook and when Lucas took

it off the hook, I was like, "Ah, right, take it off the hook."

Dave, Dave, what did one corpse say to the other?

I don't know, what did one corpse say to the other?

Nothing, he was dead. Keep up.

Time to count up those Year Spheres and, remember,

AD years are added to your total and BC years are subtracted from it.

So, Mia, let's see what you've got in those spheres.

1587 AD, the execution of Mary, Queen of Scots.

78 AD, the Romans conquered Wales.

Mia, you have a total of 1,665 points.

That's what you've got to beat, Lucas.

Let's see what's in your first sphere.

1867 AD, the invention of antiseptic for surgery that year.

305 BC, Alexander the Great conquered Egypt that year,

so that's a negative score.

Let's have a look at the third one.

1438 AD, the Incan Empire began in Peru.

1792 AD, gas lighting was invented.

That means you have an excellent total of 4,792.

Emily, I don't think you can beat that but let's have a look.

It's 1086 AD, the Domesday Book was completed that year.

That means that today's winner,

with a total of 4,792 points, is Lucas.

Yes!

And he goes home with our star prize, which promises to be simply

amazing, but then breaks its promise and turns out to be some old

rubbish fished out of the Time Sewer by my good colleague, Rattus.

Well, I think you'll agree that finding this prize was

a truly incredible feat, or rather a truly incredible foot.

Yes, it's that Roman delicacy, a roast camel foot.

HE LAUGHS

Who in their right mind would want a camel's foot?

Well, I reckon the camel wouldn't mind it back.

HE LAUGHS

Congratulations, Lucas.

Yes, well done, Lucas. I'm so sorry it's so weird.

Well, that's fine.

Are you happy with it?

Yeah.

Well, it just remains for me to say thanks to our winner, Lucas,

and thanks also to our magnificent runners-up, Mia and Emily

and no thanks whatsoever to Rattus.

My absolute pleasure.

You've been watching Gory Games. Goodbye.

Next time, why not play along, by downloading the Gory Games App

from the CBBC website?

# Keep watching, we'll be back again

# With Horrible Histories Gory Games

# Horrible Histories Gory...Games. #