Episode 9 HH: Gory Games Play Along

# If mummies, rats and fleas ain't your thing

# And you don't like the sound of an exploding king

# If you're easily scared and don't laugh at poo

# Better turn off This show ain't for you

# Still watching? Then let's test your brains

# With Horrible Histories Gory Games

# Horrible Histories Gory

# Games! #

Hello, and welcome to Gory Games, with me, Dave Lamb,

and the rodent we know as Rattus Rattus,

but who 10,000 fleas simply call "home".

Hey! I'll have you know I've got fewer fleas than I used to have.

And how could you possibly know that?

Cos I just saw at least three of them jumping onto you!

Oh, what?!

Oh...! Well, thanks a lot(!)

This is the show where you get to test your knowledge

of history's most horrible happenings...

Or, as I like to call them, the best bits...

..by taking part in the goriest games imaginable.

-Oh, that's it - tonight, you are having a bath.

-Aah!

No-o-o-o!

Yes.

Let's meet our horrible historians.

Hi, I'm Erin.

Hi, I'm David.

Hi, I'm Rebecca.

-Hey, Rebecca.

-Rebecca!

Hanging nicely.

To start things off today,

I've come up with a rat-tastic new game from the Middle Ages

called Leech Yeech.

Leech Yeech?

Yeah! Most doctors used leeches to treat illnesses back then,

so leeches were worth money,

and poor people would collect them by standing in putrid ponds

until they were bitten.

And how exactly are you going to make that into a game?

With three buckets of stinky pond water, with plenty of leeches.

The contestants have to run around the buckets

-and collect as many leeches as they can.

-No, absolutely not.

I'm sorry, could someone please help me get these out of here?

-I'm not happy with them.

-Oh, no, don't go over there,

I spilt some pond water on the floor and if you're not careful...

-you're going to fall over.

-Agh...

Brilliant(!) Now I've got fleas AND leeches.

On the bright side, I think you've just won the game.

Ha-ha-ha... Ow.

RATTUS LAUGHS

While Dave gets cleaned up,

remember, you can play along at home using the Gory Games app.

You can get it on the CBBC website...

Right - Erin, David, Rebecca, you are playing to win Year Spheres.

Each Year Sphere contains a historical date,

and at the end of the show,

your Year Sphere dates will be added up,

with AD dates being added, to your total...

Do you see where we're going with this?

..and BC dates subtracted from it.

So, if these were your Year Spheres, your total would be...Rattus?

Huh?! Erm...

-It's not three, is it?

-No, it isn't.

It's 735.

Exactly - so, like I said, it's not three.

At the end of the show, the person with the highest year score

will win a truly unique historical prize.

And it's something I've picked out myself.

You are going to love it.

Well, that would be a first.

And we're off - so, to find out what this round's about,

it's over to the Gory Grid.

Arrrh! The Putrid Pirates it be.

So, four questions coming up on Putrid Pirates.

The person who gets the most right wins the first Year Sphere.

Your four pirate topics are...

Erin, it's your turn to pick first.

Er, the goat.

Sadie the Goat.

You're extremely lucky.

-It's a prop...

-..question. Yes, it is.

It's a prop question, and here it comes...

Oh, my word. RATTUS SNIGGERS

Oh, that is a bitten-off ear.

Here's the question - a famous pirate from the 1800s

called Sadie the Goat, so, she was a pirate,

had her ear bitten off in a fight -

but what did she do with the chewed-off ear?

Did she, A, wear it on a chain around her neck,

did she B, eat it with some tomato sauce,

or did she C, mount it on the wall in the crew's quarters

to make them think she could hear anyone plotting against her?

So, what do you think?

Let's see those answers now, please.

Everybody's gone for C.

I can tell you that the answer is actually...

A - she wore it on a chain around her neck.

Right, David it's your turn to choose a topic next.

Punishments.

What did pirate Ned Low do to the captain of a captured whaling ship?

A, cut off his ears,

B, maroon him on an island,

or C, make him walk the plank?

Ooh, ooh, I know the answer

Let's see your answers now, please.

Oh, interesting - Erin and Rebecca going for B, David going for A.

Let's hear what the actual answer is.

The answer is A,

Ned Low cut off his ears and made them eat them,

sprinkled with salt. Hm! Original.

Wish I'd thought of it, actually.

Well done, David - you're the first to get off the mark,

you have a point. Rebecca, it's your turn to choose a topic.

I'll do pirate talk.

Lovely choice. Let's hear that question.

What does the pirate expression "heave to" mean?

A, stop the ship,

B, be sick over the side

or C, fire the cannons?

So, what does the pirate expression "heave to" mean?

Let's see those answers now, please.

Oh, a complete spread of answers, there - the full range.

Let's see what the actual answer is.

The answer is, A -

"heave to" means "stand still",

so it means stop the ship.

Can't believe you didn't know that, you scurvy landlubber!

Er, which means person who'd be happier on land...

and has a nasty disease.

Thanks for clearing that up, very helpful.

Well, that means with only one question left

and David on two points

that you have won the Year Sphere - congratulations, David.

He's won the Year Sphere!

I've just added it up, and he's won the Year Sphere!

Thanks, Rattus. Up to date, as always.

So, David, you have won the quiz -

time to choose your Year Sphere -

and let's hope it's not one with a Stone Age date inside,

because that can be worth a few million minus points.

Push, push, push, push, push.

David, come and choose a Year Sphere. Any one you like.

-I'll have this one.

-That one?

-Lovely choice.

-Push, push, push, push...

-Now, winning the quiz

means that David is automatically through

to play the Pirate Game -

but will he be alone, or will everyone get to play?

Let's find out.

It's an all-play messy game,

so that means it's off down the Time Sewer with the lot of you -

go on, Rebecca, lead the way.

Dive in - it's not as bad once you get in there.

-Oh, it stinks!

-In you go, David.

Oh, no. Eurgh!

-Away you go, Erin.

-Do I have to?

Yeah, sorry. Bye!

Aah!

THEY COUGH

This game is all about chests and keys.

And where are the keys?

Well, that would be telling -

but there are some clues to help you find them.

The first person to retrieve the treasure map

from inside their colour-coded chest will win the Year Sphere -

but be warned, all is not as straightforward as it seems.

It's time to play...

HOOTER

Oh, a bit of a cautious start from everyone, there, Rattus, wasn't it?

I think they're not quite sure

of what it is they're attempting to do.

Well, what they have to do is read

the instructions on the chest -

without that, they are going to be hopelessly lost,

and it looks to me as if David has done just that,

because he's headed to his correctly colour-coded tub,

and he's now going back with the first key.

Oh, Erin seems to have the wrong key there.

Now, the only way she could have the wrong key

is if she didn't follow the instructions.

Absolutely. They're very slippery, these keys, aren't they?

But that's not stopped David.

He's through the first chest.

Now, is he going to read the instructions on the second chest?

There he is!

"Time to get yourself all mucky, Swabbie's bucket is so yucky."

He's gone straight to the swabbie's bucket, that's perfect -

and he's got the key!

It's very simple and when it's done correctly, isn't it?

Absolutely, it's very clear,

it's written down on the side of the trunks there.

Now, you have to say,

Erin's making it look

particularly difficult at the moment.

But David is onto his third chest - and Rebecca's finally realised

she's got to take that little chest out of the bigger one, good.

But David - hang on, David's run into trouble, here -

he can't find his clue, he can't find the instructions...

-but he's found them.

-Found them.

"Want to get the pirate swag?

"Go look in the hanging bag."

Ah! Well, he's doing just that,

and he's having a good rummage round.

And he's in the hanging bag -

he's just got to open this to win it.

It's far too late for Rebecca

and her new best friend the parrot, I fear.

He's opened it - sound the hooter.

HOOTER It's all over,

for David has the scroll of superbness

in his mucky, mucky hands.

Welcome back, everyone. David, collect your Year Sphere.

I'll have this one.

Why not? It looks a good one.

Moving on - over to the Gory Grid to find out who's up next.

It's the Vile Victorians. Good day.

So, four questions again -

and here are your four Victorian topics...

So, David it's your turn to pick first.

Famous Victorians, please.

Robert Peel was famous for what?

A, bringing the first oranges into the country,

B, founding the first police force

or C, being the first person to swim the English Channel?

Well, that's a teaser, and no mistaking.

Let's see those answers now, please.

Everybody is going for B.

Well, let's find out if everybody's right.

The answer is B -

Robert Peel founded the first police force in 1829,

which is why they were nicknamed the Peelers.

You learn a new thing every day.

Yes - like never work with animals.

Thank you.

So, an excellent start from all of you - a point apiece.

Erin, it's your turn to choose a topic.

Gadgets.

And that is a prop question.

-Now, then...

-Whoo!

Now, then, what was this invention for?

Was it A...

Here's a clue - it's either A, B or C.

Let's see your answers now, please.

So, David and Rebecca going for B, Erin going for A.

I can tell you that the actual answer is...

C - it was a fly scarer.

Wow, would you believe that?

Rebecca, your turn to choose a topic.

-I'll do Slang, man.

-I like it.

Don't know what I'm doing with my hands.

Slang, let's hear the question.

Poor children in Victorian London sold "pure" - but what was "pure"?

Was it A...

All disgusting - but is it A, B or C?

Let's see those answers now, please.

Interesting, Erin and David going for A, Rebecca going for C.

Rattus put us out of our misery.

The answer is A.

Dog poo. They sold it to tanners to make leather.

Let's just award the points there.

One for Erin, one for David.

Here comes the final question of this round -

and this is about the Crimean War. Let's hear the question.

Florence Nightingale was a famous nurse during the Crimean War,

but what was her nickname?

"The Lady of the..." what?

Was it...

Is it A, B or C?

Let's see your answers now, please.

Everybody has gone for B - let's see if you're all right.

The answer is B,

she was known as the Lady of the Lamp,

for her habit of making hospital rounds at night.

So, what we have here is a tie-break situation

between Erin and David -

if you could be ready, poised above those buzzers,

because what we have here is a buzzer question.

Beginning with the letter D,

what is the surname of the famous Victorian writer

who wrote Oliver Twist and A Christmas Carol?

Charles... PFFRRT!

David?

-Dickens.

-Dickens is correct -

you've just won yourself another Year Sphere.

Superb work.

OK, David, as the quiz winner,

you're also through to play the Victorian game -

but will it be just you, or will the others get to play too?

Let's find out.

It's a single-player brainy game,

so, David, back down that Time Sewer with you.

In you go, fella.

Argh!

Victorians came up with some of the silliest names on the planet -

names like the Princess Cheese...

and names like Abraham Pooh....

Both real Victorian names.

So, seven Victorian names - but two are totally made up.

Choose five names and move them to the Real Board,

then touch the Princess Cheese and be thankful it's not an Abraham Poo.

To find out how many you've got right,

keep trying new combinations of names until you've got all five -

but you've got to be quick, you're against the clock.

It's time to play...

HOOTER

So, David begins the Victorian name game -

what's he going to go for first?

-He's a having a very good look, isn't he, Rattus?

-He is.

I always think this is one of our cleanest games,

but one of our trickiest games -

it's so very easy to wrong-foot yourself.

You know, if you doubt the validity of your initial choice

at the start of this game,

then it's all over for you, really, Dave.

Surprisingly erudite, Rattus.

Don't forget you can play along at home using the Gory Games app.

There goes Squirrel Nutkin,

so he's made his first three selections.

I like the way this lad's taking his time,

Felicity Made-Up goes on.

Oh, he's having a little spurt now.

Yeah, look, he's really sprinting now.

Farty Gladwish... HONK-HONK!

-Touch the Princess Cheese.

-'Three right!'

He's got three right -

so, now, this is where the tactics come on.

He's got James Bottom-Bottom-Bottom in his hand.

Three guesses where James Bottom-Bottom-Bottom

came in the class.

Donald Duck's gone up, Farty Gladwish has come off.

James Bottom-Bottom-Bottom back in his hand,

back on the Real Board.

Felicity Made-Up leaves now.

-HONK-HONK!

-'Four right!'

Four right - so, one of those he just put on there was correct.

Donald Duck now leaving.

-HONK-HONK!

-'Three right!'

I would instinctively say that Donald Duck was right-wrong.

Well, he was actually three right at that point,

so he's correctly taken Felicity Made-Up back off,

put Donald Duck back on.

'30 seconds remaining.'

-HONK-HONK!

-'Four right!'

Four right.

He has still got time to do this, but he'll have to pick one up

rather than leaving them all on the table.

Batty Treasure goes on.

What's it going to replace?

Squirrel Nutkin comes off.

-HONK-HONK!

-'Five right!'

-That has done it!

-Five, he's got five right.

And what a great dance!

Congratulations, David.

Pick yourself a Year Sphere - you know the drill.

-I'll have this, thank you.

-So, you're quite right -

Felicity Made-Up was indeed made up,

and Squirrel Nutkin is just the Beatrix Potter character -

but the others, remarkably, were all genuine Victorian names.

Over to the Gory Grid to find out who's up next.

It's the Awful Egyptians.

And here are your four Egyptian topics.

Meow!

So, Rebecca, what's it to be?

Cleopatra.

Lovely choice - let's hear the question.

True or false? Egyptian Pharaoh Cleopatra could not speak Egyptian.

Egyptian Pharaoh Cleopatra could not speak Egyptian.

Is that true or is that false? Let's see those answers now, please.

Everybody has gone for true.

Interesting, let's find out if you're all right.

It's true.

She and all her family were Greek - that's right, Greek,

descended from Alexander the Great's favourite general. Go figure.

I did not know that - did you know that, Rattus?

I did not know that either.

I did not know that either. But I've said that already.

Erin, it's your turn to choose a topic.

-Fashion.

-Fashion.

That is a question from the lovely Rattus Rattus.

-Oh, thank you!

-Pleasure.

True or false? Posh Egyptian women regularly shaved their heads.

Well done, Rattus.

So, what do you think - true or false?

Let's see those answers now, please.

Two trues, from the girls,

and a false from David. Rattus, what's the answer?

I-I-It's...

true.

There were so many lice in Ancient Egypt

that it was more pleasant to shave your head

and wear a wig whenever you wanted.

I'd do the same myself, but I'd look silly in a wig.

To be fair, Rattus, you look pretty silly without one.

OK, David, your turn to choose a topic.

I choose Pyramids.

True or false? Our pyramids were built by slaves.

True or false? The Egyptian pyramids were built by slaves.

Let's see those answers now, please.

Everybody's gone for true, it's a clean sweep -

are they all right?

It's false -

the pyramid workers were free men,

farmers who had no farming to do while the Nile flooded.

I'd inspect the work personally to make sure no-one was slacking.

No-one except me, that is.

I'm the Pharaoh.

So, no points there, but one question left in this round,

and it means you're all still very much in the round.

The final question in this round...

is a prop question. How exciting.

Look out! That is a mummified cat.

When explorers discovered the Temple of Bastet,

the Egyptian goddess of cats,

they found it was filled with thousands of mummified cats -

is that true or false, I wonder.

Let's see your answers now, please.

You've all gone for true, I can tell you that the answer is...

true. So, well done -

yes, the mummified cats had been left as offerings to the goddess.

A moment's silence, please, for the passing of thousands of cats.

Woo-hoo!

HE LAUGHS

Ooh, sorry, did I ruin the moment's silence?

I don't like cats.

That means we're in a tie-break situation.

So, this is a buzzer round between Erin and Rebecca -

let's have your fingers on the buzzers.

Beginning with the letter T,

name the famous teenage Pharaoh whose tomb...

TOILET FLUSHES That's Rebecca.

Tutankhamen.

Tutankhamen is correct - you have won yourself your first Year Sphere.

So, Rebecca, dance your way round to collect your Year Sphere.

Lovely!

Dance followed by a skip, superb.

-What a precious sphere you've chosen.

-Aahhhh...!

You are through to play the Egyptian game -

but will you be playing alone or will everybody get to play with you?

Let's find out.

It's a single-player scary game.

So, Rebecca, dance your way into the Time Sewer for us.

Lovely, what a shimmy.

Whoo! Argh!

The dancing queen has left the building.

In Ancient Egypt, it wasn't just important how you looked in life,

it was important how you looked in the afterlife.

Whoever mummified this Pharaoh forgot to remove some organs,

and you've got to fix things fast.

Your challenge is to remove the stomach, liver, intestines and lungs

-and put them into the correct canopic jars.

-Argh...!

The brain needs to be yanked out of the nose and binned,

but the heart must be left inside the body.

It's time to play...

HOOTER

So, Rebecca begins her go at Mummify Me.

-Goggles on.

-OK, let's start...

Very important, that, Rattus, isn't it?

Very, very important to wear the goggles -

you never know

what's going to come bursting out of that mummy.

No, you don't - but she's gone in at the top of the torso,

and that's a lung. Ooh!

-That is a pair of lungs.

-That is a pair of lungs.

That's going to leave him a bit breathless.

Well, you're absolutely right there -

and she pops that correctly

into the correct canopic jar.

-She's going back in.

-Ooh, say that again for me.

-Canopic.

-Oh, I like that!

It's a lovely word, isn't it?

Canopic - beginning and ending in a C.

But there - that looks... Could that be the heart?

She doesn't want the heart... No, it's OK,

it's OK, that's the liver.

She's just having a quick look

here to see which canopic jar

that needs to go into.

This is well played, isn't it, Rattus?

She's very calm under pressure.

Very calm, very together.

Yeah. Lovely to watch, lovely to watch, this.

It's top-quality surgery.

And there's the stomach, there's the stomach,

that's going to go into that jar. Correctly does it.

Intestines and brain required. Must leave the heart where it is.

-Oh, look out - here come the intestines...

-Argh!

..and there's an awful lot of them.

Oh, dear me, there we go.

Apparently, the intestines go

right the way from the beginning of you

right the way through to the end.

Yes, and they curl round and round a few times

by the look of it, as well.

They're all being stuffed in there slowly.

That is absolutely revolting, you have to say.

Now, what's she going to go for?

She's now got to go in for the brain.

SQUELCH! Oh, dear me!

Oh, that's gotta smart.

Let's hope he's definitely dead,

because that would really have hurt.

Oh, the bandages are coming off!

We don't want to see that!

Oh, here comes the brain,

straight out the nose in the approved fashion.

She's done it - she's got the lot.

-That's gone in the...

-Brain's in the bin.

That's where it's supposed to go.

Brain needs to go into the bin.

She's done that very well. Checking all her pots -

she's done it, the thumb comes up.

-HOOTER

-Thumbs up.

-Now, will we see the trademark Rebecca dance?

-Woo-hoo!

-Uh-huh!

-Yes, of course!

-There's the dance, Dave.

She's not going to disappoint -

-it's that robotic twisty thing.

-Yeah!

Well done, Rebecca - collect your Year Sphere.

Time for the final round.

It's over to the Gory Grid one last time to find out who we've got.

It's the Terrible Tudors.

So, no quirky quiz in our final round -

it's straight to our big all-play Tudor endgame,

and it's a very silly one.

So, get down that Time Sewer.

Let's go!

-There you go.

-Come on!

-Laters!

-Laters!

Now, I think it's fair to say that in later life

Henry VIII did get a little bit chubby.

Oi! It's not my fault - I've got a gammy leg.

No, of course, Your Majesty.

Although his constant pie-eating probably didn't help.

I heard that!

You have to collect pies and fling them into Henry's mouth.

Sounds easy, right?

Which is why we've attached you to these bungee cords, sorry.

The person who gets the most pies in their Henry's mouth

in the time limit wins the Year Sphere.

It's time to play...

It's pie time.

HOOTER

And we are go with Who Ate All The Pies?

Wow! And Erin has scored with her very first throw -

that was extraordinary, what a start, what a start that was.

No joy for Rebecca or David as yet -

but look at them, they're absolutely haring along.

This is the fastest I think we've ever seen

Who Ate All The Pies? played.

David, there, just missing by a whisker.

Erin really struggling against her bungee -

look at that overarm fling.

David looks incredibly determined, doesn't he?

And it's paid off - he's off and running.

Lovely, lovely stuff.

Ah, David seems to be having

one or two issues with his cord there.

It yanks him back.

Look at Erin! She went back like an express train,

but she's back, and game for another one.

And she scores!

Look at her go, she's absolutely being pinged back,

I think her cord might be tighter than the others.

It might be tighter, but I don't think it is,

cos that would be desperately unfair

-on the contestants.

-No, it's all fair,

everything is above board,

it's completely fair - that much we do know.

-You know what they?

-She does come back very quickly, though, Rattus!

Whoo!

Oh, that's Rebecca's first pie, congratulations.

And Erin responds with her third.

They've got to get their pies into Henry's mouth

to score points, and one or two are beginning to land -

overarm technique, that's new.

I love the overarm technique -

there's your classic Frisbee.

-Classic Frisbee.

-Yeah, lovely to see.

There's the netball overarm pitch -

and there's the hoick from David,

what a lovely exponent of the hoick David is.

Oh, Erin's down again -

she really is down more than she's up.

-GONG

-'30 seconds remaining.'

So, very little time left now.

David gets his second - he's still in it.

And look at that -

Rebecca now is beginning to tire,

I'm afraid, Rattus, she is beginning to tire.

There's the overarm that we've come to know and love

bouncing off Henry's head.

Rebecca, though - is she still in this?

I don't know. I think Erin is nosing in front.

There's another one!

She's scored another one, she's doing incredibly well.

For me, Dave, there's just one thing missing from this game,

and that's gravy.

Oh, she's down again.

-HOOTER

-'Time's up.'

I think it's all over - judging by the way

that everyone seems to have collapsed.

Erin has won, with four pies - well done, Erin.

Welcome back, Gory Gamers.

What a tremendous, tremendous game that was.

Congratulations, Erin. Pick a Year Sphere, please.

Excellent.

Time to count up those Year Spheres -

and remember, AD years are added to your total, BC years are subtracted.

Erin, we're going to start with you.

Could you reveal for me now, please, what is in your Year Sphere?

1542 AD - Mary Queen of Scots became Scottish Queen,

so that gives you 1,542, positive score.

Right, David, let's start with your Year Spheres.

Let's have a look at number one.

793 AD - Vikings attack Lindisfarne Monastery.

So, you're off and running - let's have a look at the second one.

Oh, my goodness me!

8,000 BC - woolly mammoths died out.

Well, you're going to need to go some here.

Let's have a look at the third one.

1455 AD - the start of the War of the Roses.

And let's have a look at the last one,

-305 BC.

-Ohhh!

Alexander the Great conquered Egypt.

That gives you a total of minus 6,057.

Bad luck, David.

Rebecca, let's have a look at your first Year Sphere.

1199 AD - the death of Richard the Lionheart.

So, that means that the turn of this Sphere

will decide who wins today.

Let's have a look at it.

Oh, my goodness me, it's 16,000 BC!

That is the age of the oldest caveman pots and bowls ever found,

and I'm afraid, Rebecca, that leaves you with a total of minus 14,801.

But that's history - it's horrible.

Erin, you have come from nowhere to win!

Congratulations to you, you have won today's star prize.

Yes, I'm afraid it's another piece of old junk

plucked out of the Time Sewers by my mangy mate, here.

Come on, then, Rattus, what is it this time?

Well, Dave, today's prize is a piece of British Naval history.

They belonged to a genuine Georgian hero -

it's a pair of Lord Nelson's shoes.

Really? Well, that actually sounds really good.

Unfortunately, he suffered from terrible seasickness,

so I'm afraid they're covered in sick.

Brilliant. I take it all back.

I'm so sorry, Erin.

Perhaps if you wipe them off you might be able to...wear them.

It just remains for me to say thanks to our champion,

Erin, and thanks also to our gallant runners-up David and Rebecca -

and no thanks whatsoever to Rattus.

Glad to be of service.

You've been watching Gory Games, goodbye.

Next time why not play along

by downloading the Gory Games app

from the CBBC website?

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