Episode 14 HH: Gory Games Play Along

# If mummies, rats and fleas ain't your thing

# And you don't like the sound of an exploding king

# If you're easily scared and don't laugh at poo

# You'd better turn off, this show ain't for you.

# Still watching?

# Then, let's test your brains With Horrible History's Gory Games

# Horrible History's Gory

# Games! #

Hello, and welcome to Gory Games, starring me,

Rattus Rattus, the author of Rotten Recipes!

What? You've got a cookbook out?

Of course! All the really big stars do one, even if they can't cook!

And I can't cook, so I'm the perfect candidate.

It says here, "As seen on MasterChef."

I WAS on MasterChef!

Under the fridge in the background, eating a mouldy sausage.

Mouldy sausages in bin juice, page 67.

Oh, yeah, it looks lovely, that, apart from the mouldy sausages

and the bin juice.

Let's crack on, shall we? And meet today's Horrible Historians.

Hi, I'm Aaliyah, and I'm from London!

Hello, Aaliyah.

Hi, I'm Freddie, and I'm from Staffordshire!

Hello, Freddie.

I'm Ellie, and I'm from Norwich!

Hello, Ellie!

Welcome, everyone.

Right, you are here to play for Year Spheres.

The person with the highest year score at the end of the show

will win a prize cooked up by Rattus Rattus.

I see what you did there, Dave! Nice!

And don't forget you can play along at home too,

on the Gory Games app - just download it from the CBBC website.

That's right, so let's get this show on the road with Round One.

Over to the Gory Grid.

It's the Savage Stone Age.

Four questions on the Savage Stone Age coming up.

The person who gets the most right wins the first Year Sphere,

and your four Stone Age topics are...

Ellie, it is your turn to pick a topic first.

Shaving, please.

-Shaving.

-Oh, good choice.

Lovely choice because that is a question from Rattus Rattus.

True or false - Stone Age people never shaved their hair.

And I'd like to point out

Dave is not, in fact, Stone Age, he's Bronze Age.

I'm not Bronze Age either.

OK, here we go.

Stone Age people never shaved their hair, is that true or is that false?

Interesting. The girls have gone for true,

Freddie thinks it's false. What's the answer, Rattus?

It's false.

Stone razors have been discovered that date back to 30,000 BC.

Well done, Freddie, that's the first point to you,

and on top of that you get to pick the next topic.

Could I have Turkey, please?

You certainly can. What's that question?

True or false - in the first-ever town in Stone Age Turkey,

people buried their dead relatives under their living room floor?

So, in Stone Age Turkey, did people bury their dead relatives

under their living room floor? Is that true or is that false?

Ooh, everybody thinks it's true - what's the answer, please?

It true. Dead relatives under floor.

Living room more DEADING room. Caveman do joke.

Yes, very nearly.

Well done, everybody, you're all off the mark now, which is always

a nice state of affairs.

And, Aaliyah, it's your turn to pick a topic.

Can I have Bears, please?

You certainly can. Give us a question on Bears, fella.

True or false - some cavemen kept bears as pets?

Do you smell a rat?

-I know

-I

-do.

Oi!

Some cavemen kept bears as pets.

So do you think that's true or is it perhaps false?

Let's see those answers, please.

Everybody thinking it's false this time.

Let's find out.

It's true!

We file down teeth so bear not bite us.

Caveman clever.

Ugh!

Yes, not THAT clever, as it turns out.

Well, one question left in this round.

Everybody can still win the Year Sphere at this stage.

The final topic is Orkney, and here is that question.

True or false, yeah? Stone Age people who live in Orkney Islands

had special rock pool tanks in their homes.

True or false, true or false, true or false, true or false?

Yeah, I think they get the idea, Rattus, thanks very much.

Stone Age people, then, who lived in the Orkney Islands had special

rock pool tanks in their homes - is that true or is that false?

Show me now, please.

You are all agreeing, it's almost spooky.

What's the answer, please?

It's true!

They stored their seafood in rock pools to keep it fresh.

Cavemen smart.

Caveman stupid.

Everyone knows seafood is better when it's rotted a bit.

Rotten seafood, page 79.

OK, let's not plug the book every round.

Thanks, Rattus.

Well, that's the end of the round - it was a low-scoring one cos

they were difficult questions on cavemen,

but at the end of it, Freddie, you have emerged victorious,

which means the first Year Sphere is yours,

and that in turn means it's time for me

to say... all hail the potty pyramid.

Freddie, help yourself,

but choose carefully because AD dates will, of course, be added

to your total score, while BC dates will be subtracted from it.

Um...

You've given that great thought

and you're treating it with great reverence, well done, Freddie.

Now, winning the Stone Age quiz means Freddie is automatically

through to play the Stone Age game,

but will he be alone or will everyone get to play?

Let's find out.

It's a single-player gory game,

so, Freddie, off down the Time Sewer on your own, please.

Ugh! This smells like my granny's pants.

I'd just like to take a couple of moments to apologise

to Freddie's granny, um, I'm sure your pants are lovely.

Stone Age man used to eat every single part of the creatures

they hunted, and I mean every single part.

It's time to play...

Take one mega bear, reach inside its guts,

remove the contents of its stomach.

To make a delicious Stone Age meal - page 42 of my book.

Stop plugging your book, Rattus!

The ingredients for the meal are on the cave painting beside you.

Fish them out and put them by the matching picture, but be quick,

you have to finish it before the mega bear's family come home.

In three, two, one. Here we go.

Well, Freddie's diving straight into the mega bear there.

He's already found the rat.

Oh!

It's upsetting for Rattus, but I'll tell you

what I've noticed about the way Freddie plays this game - he's

prepared to get his head right down and get his arms right in there.

Look at that, he's almost inside the bear there.

And there's the fish, that is the correct fish.

-And the rat there again, Rattus.

-Oh!

Oh, I'm sorry you have to see that,

it's upsetting for you, I know it is.

Yeah, now, that's a caveman's foot there, that's not actually

on the Stone Age shopping list, although I'm sure they're delicious.

-Oh. No, it's...

-Oh, he thought that was the horse's hoof,

realised it was the caveman's foot, and put it in the basket.

I like the way Freddie's doing this, he's working very,

very quickly here, Rattus.

30 seconds remaining.

There's the cabbage as well -

all he's got left is the horse's foot,

otherwise known as a hoof.

Hoof!

Now then, what's he got here?

He has it, has he? He only has!

He's got the hoof!

The Mega Bear's Picnic is all over,

and Freddie is left to celebrate,

and that celebration has turned into a general clean-up,

as he's got very bear-gutty hands.

-Yeah, well done, Freddie, excellent. Get in!

-Yeah!

Get yourself a Year Sphere, fella, well done.

-You have washed your hands, haven't you?

-Yeah.

Yeah, go on, then, help yourself.

Hmm, take this one.

Lovely choice. Get that back on that podium of yours.

-It was excellent work - you made light work of that mega bear.

-Yeah.

Do you know, I think I'm going to feature a mega bear stomach dish

on my new cookery show, The Great British Scrape Off.

Yeah, I think I'll give that a miss.

On to Round Two now,

and to find out what's up next, it's over to the Gory Grid.

It's the Vicious Vikings.

Here are the all-important Viking topics -

So, Freddie, it's your turn to pick first this time.

Um, Viking Words, please.

Viking Words - that is a question from Rattus Rattus.

Certainly is.

What was a Viking legal court called...?

Stuff, thing, whatsit. Stuff, thing, whatsit.

Stuff, thing, whatsit. Stuff, thing, whatsit.

Stuff, thing, whatsit.

So is it A, B or C?

Let's see your answers now, please.

Look at that, a complete spread of answers. What's the answer, Rattus?

The answer is B!

-Yes!

-A Viking legal court was called a thing, which is so dumb,

but don't tell any Vikings I said that.

No, shtoom, shtoom on that one, I think.

That's one point for you, Freddie.

Aaliyah, it's your turn to pick a topic.

Can I have Myths, please?

Of course you can. Let's hear that question.

The question is - according to Viking myth, thunder was

the sound of Norse god Thor doing what...?

Please be C! Please be C!

Please be C!

It's not going to affect the answer, Rattus. I don't know.

OK, here we go, do you think it's A, B or C?

Let's see your answers.

Ellie's gone for the passing wind, Rattus, you'll be delighted to hear.

What's the answer, please?

Let me put you out of your misery.

The answer is A, riding his chariot across the sky.

Oh.

So no points there. Ellie, your turn to choose.

Cathedrals, please.

Cathedrals. Let's hear that question.

St David's Cathedral on the most westerly point of Wales was

built in a valley to hide it from us Vikings, but how many times

did we attack and destroy it...?

How many times did Vikings attack

and destroy St David's Cathedral - was it A, B or C?

Show me now, please.

Well, Ellie and Freddie have agreed this time on C,

Aaliyah thinks it's B. What's the answer?

The answer is C.

We Vikings destroyed the cathedral 13 times - unlucky for some.

Unlucky for everyone, by the sound of it.

OK, Ellie and Freddie, that's a point apiece.

Just one question left in this round.

It's a question on Archbishops, and this is what it is.

In 1012, the Archbishop of Canterbury was captured

by us Vikings. When he refused to pay a ransom

of silver, what did we do to him...?

A, snake pit, B, sea, C, cow bones.

So B is SEA? I'm confused.

Try not to think about it, Rattus, it's quite simple.

So is it A, B or C? Show me your answers, please.

Ellie thinks it's A, Freddie and Aaliyah agreeing that it's C -

what's the answer?

The answer is C, we pelted him with cow bones until he died.

We took his silver as well.

A good time was had by all. Well, not by him.

So points for Aaliyah and Freddie there, and that means that

at the end of this round, we have a clear winner.

Freddie, it's you again, fella. Help yourself to another Year Sphere.

Yes!

He's trying to sense which of these is AD and which is BC.

Yes, he's given it the tap - that's the one Freddie's going for.

And reversing out! Lovely, that was.

Well done, Freddie, you're through to play the Vicious Viking game,

but will it be just you or will everyone get to play as well?

Let's find out.

It's an all-play silly game, everyone,

so all off down the Time Sewer.

-Go on, Aaliyah.

-Bye, Dave.

-Bye!

-Bye!

-Bye, Freddie.

Eugh!

Cheers, Ellie.

Vikings were pretty nifty with a huge axe

and equally good with a tiny ear spoon.

It's time to play...

Your challenge, to clean out a giant Viking ear.

Use your ear spoon to collect the wax,

carry it over the wobbly bridge and flick it into your bowl.

-If you hear this noise...

-Arrr, my ear, arrr-rrr!

..there's a Viking Berserker coming, and you need to run back

and hide behind the giant ear.

The person who gets the most earwax from ear to bowl

within the time limit wins the Year Sphere.

In three, two, one...

HOOTER

Off they go. Who's going to be the first to show here, Rattus?

Well, it looks like it's Ellie

but she's dropped her piece of wax already.

Whoa, look at this!

-Aaliyah has got TWO!

-Two pieces.

That is a great strategy, and both will count if she can deliver them.

Oh, but she can't, she's just thrown them away.

What can Freddie do here?

Boom, first on the board.

It definitely pays to make your throw count, otherwise

you're just balancing earwax for the fun of it.

Now, can Ellie even things up here?

Yes, she can, very close to the basket there.

Now then, Freddie with two pieces.

Well... Oh!

-Oh, they both bounced out.

-Oh, what a shame.

That's the trouble with waxy extrusions, Dave,

they are very bouncy.

They certainly are.

Over the see-saw bridge goes Ellie.

Here comes the lean in, yes, she's done it again.

-Now, can Aaliyah get this one home?

-Uh!

She's using a throwing technique which is not working for her.

Let's have a look at Freddie's style, that's lovely.

-Arrr, my ear, arrr-rrr!

-But wait a minute,

they've got to get back behind those ears quickly

-because here comes the Berserker.

-Oh, here comes the Berserker.

The Berserker's here, the Berserker is here

and he really is berserk, this one,

look at him. He is absolutely

crazy, in a frenzy, he's ready

for battle. That's sheer adrenaline

coming out of him there, and our plucky ear cleaners can continue.

30 seconds remaining.

Don't forget to download

the Gory Games app if you want

-to join in at home.

-It's free!

It's a tight end to the game here

but it's a risky game to rush, Rattus.

Aaliyah throws another one onto

the floor, so too does Freddie.

This is incredibly close,

this could be the winner

from Ellie, if she's careful.

She is! She's taken a lead with seconds remaining!

Can Freddie equalise with a last-gasp blob of wax?

Oh! The throwing technique, let him down again!

HOOTER And Ellie takes it, thanks to her excellent delivery.

She should be a postman.

Back you come, well done, everybody.

What a keenly fought contest that was.

Help yourself to a Year Sphere, Ellie. Will that be AD or BC?

-We'll find out later.

-Excellent.

Well, I think there's time now for a quick ad break, I reckon.

Don't forget to rush out

and buy Rattus Rattus's Rotten Recipes, available...

-Rattus Rattus...

-What? What?

You cannot use this programme to promote your cookbook.

You're just jealous because after 453,000 episodes

of Come Dine With Me, you still haven't got

your own celebrity cookbook.

That's because I can't cook.

Didn't stop me.

Moving on.

Round Three, and it's over to the Gory Grid to find out

what's up next.

It's the Vile Victorians. Good day!

Four questions as always, and here are your four Victorian topics -

So, Aaliyah, it's your turn to lead us off this time -

what would you like?

Tapeworms, please.

You may have Tapeworms. Let's hear that question.

True or false - one Victorian cure for tapeworms involved

smoking the tapeworms out by placing your bottom over an open fire.

Why on earth would you want to get rid of a tapeworm?

Some of my best friends are tapeworms.

That says quite a lot about you, Rattus.

OK, one Victorian cure for tapeworms involved

smoking them out by placing your bum over an open fire.

Is that true or is that false?

Ooh, Ellie and Freddie think it's true, Aaliyah thinks it's false.

What's the answer, please?

It's false!

Although, one cure was to starve yourself, then fry some bacon

so the tapeworm would leap out of your mouth to the bacon.

Ugh.

Bacon and tapeworm, page 17.

Oh, you're kidding, Rattus. That cookbook is something else.

Well played, Aaliyah, that's the first point for you,

you're in the lead this round.

Ellie, what do you fancy?

-Toothpaste, please.

-Toothpaste. Let's hear that question.

True or false - Victorian toothpaste was made with soot.

If it's true, that would explain the colour of your teeth, Dave.

That's simply not fair, Rattus.

So, Victorian toothpaste was made with soot -

is that true or is that false?

Everybody thinks it's true, is it?

It's true!

Soot and charcoal were both ingredients in toothpaste

used by Victorians.

What a winning smile that was.

Well played, everybody, that's a point apiece.

We're scoring Well, this round.

Freddie, what would you like?

The Crimean War, please.

Course you can, Freddie, and that is a prop question.

There, a severed leg. I'll pop that down, if you don't mind.

True or false - before Florence Nightingale arrived,

hospitals in the Crimean War used to have the amputated limbs

of soldiers fed to dogs.

Uh, uh, that's even making me feel a bit queasy.

Oh, good heavens. Is that true or is that false?

Show me now, please.

Well, Ellie thinks it's false, Freddie and Aaliyah think it's true.

I can tell you that it is...

true!

Hospital staff used to feed amputated limbs to dogs.

Florence Nightingale put an end to this disgusting practice.

She was very popular with the soldiers.

And very unpopular with dogs.

OK, let's award the points.

One question left in this round - it's a question on Poor Children.

-Let's hear it.

-True or false - Queen Victoria believed all

poor children should be educated to make Britain truly great.

Ooh, which is it? Which is it? Which is it?

-I'm not helping, am I?

-It doesn't help.

OK, Queen Victoria believed all poor children should be educated

to make Britain truly great - is that true or is that false?

Well, Ellie and Aaliyah think it's false, Freddie thinks it's true.

It's false!

Queen Victoria said educating poor children would be

a complete waste of time.

Well, that is a point for Ellie and a point for Aaliyah,

and with a full house it means that,

Aaliyah, you have won yourself a Year Sphere.

Please, collect away.

Is that a good choice?

We'll find out at the end of the show.

So Aaliyah is the winner of the Victorian quiz,

she's through to play the Victorian game,

but will it be just her or is everyone else coming along?

Let's find out.

It's a single-player scary game so, Aaliyah,

off down the Time Sewer with you.

-Bye, Dave!

-Bye!

Yuck. It stinks.

During the Industrial Revolution, children often had

to work in dangerous factories. You could count the terrible accidents

on the fingers of... Well, on the fingers caught in the machinery.

Let's play...

Your challenge is to make your way through the hazardous machinery,

find the four lost fingers, then scramble back through

the machinery and reunite the hand with its fingers.

Succeed inside the time limit to claim your Year Sphere. Ready? Go!

And Aaliyah's off, diving into those rollers, lightning quick.

-Now through the loom.

-The gloomy loom.

You need nimble feet to get through there

and she's done that perfectly nicely.

A little bit of trouble at the end there, actually, but she's through.

Onto the pulley now and she's thought, "Why don't I

"just reach up on tiptoe and pull the finger out?"

She's tall enough to do that. So she's got the first finger.

-First finger.

-And she's well on her way.

Now, with this one she has to spin that spinny thing round,

there it goes. This has to raise up, unlike the last one that

had to come down, and she's taking a bit of a leisurely approach,

a risky business in this factory.

Faster, girl!

Oh, here he comes, the factory boss.

Little urchin!

Disgraceful scenes.

Faster!

Buzz off.

Oh! She's giving him a bit of lip back!

She's held her own, Dave!

I like to see that, Rattus, he deserves a bit of lip back.

Many children would've given

their right arm to work in a factory,

although sadly quite a few of them did.

-RATTUS LAUGHS

-No, that's not funny.

It isn't really, no. Let's get back to Aaliyah.

30 seconds remaining.

She really needs to hurry up.

Get your hand in there, Aaliyah.

There we go, and here we go.

She's got it.

But she's still got a lot to do here.

-Back through the loom.

-The gloomy loom.

The gloomy loom of doom. She's through it, she's through it.

Now she needs to work these bolts

and I don't think she's got time, Rattus.

Not only has she got to work these bolts to get this

finger out, but there's still another one to find.

And it's not helping that she's tightening that nut

instead of loosening it...

And time is up. Sadly, the hand remains finger-free.

Aaliyah, welcome back.

Oh, bad luck, bad luck, bad luck.

That was a tough old challenge, wasn't it, that one?

Yeah, very, very hard.

The best thing about it, though,

you managed to give the factory owner a bit of lip back.

I like that. What did you say to him?

-Buzz off.

-Buzz off.

Frankly, the very least he deserved, so well done for that, it was

about time someone gave him a piece of their mind, and I'm glad you did.

Sadly, though, no Year Sphere for Aaliyah, but don't worry,

it's time for our big all-play messy endgame.

Over to the Gory Grid to find out what we've got.

It's the Slimy Stuarts.

It's the Slimy Stuarts, that means everyone down the Time Sewer.

Uh!

Uh!

It's time to play...

You are King Charles II, the Great Fire of London has broken out,

and just like the real king, you're going to have to help extinguish it.

You have to collect water in your bucket,

carry it along your lane and splosh it on to the flames.

Whoever gets the most water on the blaze within the time limit

wins the Year Sphere, and your time starts now.

The date of the Fire of London is easy to remember, of course, 1666.

Is that why you have it as your PIN number?

Oh! On national TV, Rattus, really?

You should've picked a harder number to remember!

-Oh!

-It's a very straight-forward game, Dave.

It is, but hang on, where's Aaliyah going there?

She must've dropped her bucket there,

must've thrown the whole thing at the house.

The fire began in a pudding shop off Baker Street.

No, it was a baker's shop on Pudding Lane.

Sorry, I sometimes get wrong way round things the.

Too me, too me.

A lot of running around so far

but I don't think they've put much of a dent in that fire.

Oh, dear, that's ...

She almost put herself out then by mistake.

Oh, look at that, Freddie's made an absolute mess

of the entire street, look at the state of Freddie's house!

It's covered in gunge and gunk, but very little of the liquid

has actually gone in so far, and already the slipping is beginning

to take effect, Rattus. So here we go, let's watch Ellie now.

Ugh!

Oh, maybe a little bit. No wonder

the fire destroyed London,

if this is the standard

of fire extinguishing

that was on display on the day.

It's pretty poor, Dave, it has to be said.

Yeah.

30 seconds remaining.

Of course, to stop the actual fire spreading, some people's

houses had to be pulled down, so at any moment...

Oh! There it goes!

Ugh!

And that brought Aaliyah a glancing blow on the knee, I think,

some of that, but she kept running and still managed to deliver

that payload, so congratulations for that.

But of course the wetter it gets out there, the more difficult

-this becomes.

-I should point out to the viewers at home

that no bricks are actually harmed during the making of this segment.

HOOTER And it's all over. I don't think Aaliyah's going to be

standing up for a while. And looking at those measuring cylinders at

the end, I can tell you that surprisingly it's Freddie who proved

to be the best fireman, and he wins the Year Sphere.

Welcome back, well played. Go on, Freddie, get another Year Sphere.

Amazing performance.

There you go. I like the way you take your time over those -

you choose very, very carefully.

Well done, Freddie. Did you get hit by bricks at all, Freddie?

-No.

-No?

But when it got really slippy at the end, I had to dive to get over.

I know. If it's any consolation, you all looked hilarious.

Good. What's this, Rattus?

Well, Dave, I know I wind you up all the time

so I've made you a pudding from my cookbook to say sorry.

Actually, that doesn't look half bad, Rattus,

maybe you CAN cook.

What is it, actually?

Well, it's a chocolate ganache with a raspberry coulis and carob garnis.

Wow, sounds delicious.

And poo.

THE CHILDREN LAUGH

Terrific. Thanks for that, Rattus.

Time now to count up those Year Spheres, and remember,

AD years are added and BC years are subtracted.

Here we go, are you ready?

Ellie, let's have a look in your one.

1944 AD, that's a very good one.

Allies invaded Germany-held Normandy on D-Day.

Now, Freddie, let's have a look at that first one.

476 AD. It's a slow start, the fall of the western Roman Empire.

Let's have a look at that second one.

1879 AD, that's a good one. Thomas Edison invented the light bulb.

Let's have a look at that third one, Freddie.

1869 AD, Mahatma Gandhi was born that year.

This is crucial, let's have a look at it, Freddie.

It's 1066 AD, congratulations!

That, of course, was the Battle of Hastings.

Freddie, that's great news for you,

it means that you have scored a massive 5,290 points.

Aaliyah, let's have a look at it, let's see what it was.

Oh! 3600 BC, the first known mummification took place

in Egypt round about that time.

That means today's winner, with 5,290 points, is Freddie.

Now, Rattus, please tell me

today's prize isn't a copy of Rotten Recipes by Rattus Rattus.

No, of course it isn't, Dave.

OK.

Ah, it's TWO copies.

Well, congratulations and apologies in equal measure, Freddie,

there you go, be careful.

Don't try any of those recipes at home, by the way, please.

At least you don't have to go home down the Time Sewer,

like our valiant runners-up, Ellie and Aaliyah.

You know where you've got to go.

And don't forget, you can play along next time

if you download the Gory Games app from the CBBC website.

Ugh! Disgusting!

I've been Dave Lamb.

And I've been cooking with gas.

PFF-FF-RR-RT!

You've been watching Gory Games. Bye!

# Horrible History's Gory...Games! #