Browse content similar to Scary Special. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
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# Terrible Tudors Gorgeous Georgians | 0:00:02 | 0:00:04 | |
# Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians | 0:00:04 | 0:00:05 | |
# Woeful wars, ferocious fights Dingy castles, daring knights | 0:00:05 | 0:00:07 | |
# Horrors that defy description Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians | 0:00:07 | 0:00:10 | |
# Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes Punishments from ancient times | 0:00:10 | 0:00:12 | |
# Romans, rotten, rank and ruthless Cavemen savage, fierce and toothless | 0:00:12 | 0:00:15 | |
# Groovy Greeks, brainy sages Mean and measly Middle Ages | 0:00:15 | 0:00:18 | |
# Gory stories, you can see And your host... # | 0:00:18 | 0:00:22 | |
Well, that's me! | 0:00:22 | 0:00:23 | |
# The past is no longer a mystery Welcome to... | 0:00:23 | 0:00:27 | |
# Horrible Histories. # | 0:00:27 | 0:00:32 | |
Boo! Ha-ha-ha! | 0:00:32 | 0:00:34 | |
What's that? Oh, you could see my head. | 0:00:34 | 0:00:36 | |
I'll try again. | 0:00:36 | 0:00:37 | |
Boo! Ha-ha-ha! | 0:00:39 | 0:00:41 | |
Hello, and welcome to the Horrible Histories Scary Special, | 0:00:41 | 0:00:46 | |
with me, Death. Ha-ha-ha! | 0:00:46 | 0:00:47 | |
I've been asked to put together my top 12 favourite things | 0:00:47 | 0:00:52 | |
from all of Horrible Histories. | 0:00:52 | 0:00:54 | |
Oh, shouldn't it be top 13? 13's a scarier number, | 0:00:54 | 0:00:58 | |
What's that, Mother? | 0:00:58 | 0:01:00 | |
Yes, all right, yes, I'll get on with it. OK. | 0:01:00 | 0:01:03 | |
At number 12, it's witches, | 0:01:03 | 0:01:05 | |
and there were lots of them about in the Stuart era, | 0:01:05 | 0:01:08 | |
if you believe this fella. | 0:01:08 | 0:01:09 | |
I love this sketch, it's a classic. | 0:01:09 | 0:01:12 | |
'Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault?' | 0:01:12 | 0:01:15 | |
Argh! | 0:01:15 | 0:01:16 | |
'Trip or fall at work?' | 0:01:16 | 0:01:19 | |
Argh! | 0:01:19 | 0:01:20 | |
'Suffered a personal injury or sickness? | 0:01:21 | 0:01:25 | |
'Then, you could have been cursed by a witch. | 0:01:25 | 0:01:27 | |
'So get in touch with us, at Witchfinders Direct.' | 0:01:27 | 0:01:31 | |
We'll find some innocent woman, say she's a witch, | 0:01:31 | 0:01:34 | |
and have her burned to death. | 0:01:34 | 0:01:37 | |
Argh! | 0:01:37 | 0:01:39 | |
'Farmer Pocket of Crawley lost all his cabbages | 0:01:39 | 0:01:42 | |
'when they were eaten by slugs. | 0:01:42 | 0:01:44 | |
'He lost literally several shillings. | 0:01:44 | 0:01:46 | |
'So he called in Witchfinders. | 0:01:46 | 0:01:49 | |
'And we decided the slugs had been sent by the strange old woman | 0:01:49 | 0:01:53 | |
'who lived in the village. | 0:01:53 | 0:01:55 | |
'Yes, her.' | 0:01:56 | 0:01:58 | |
It wasn't me. | 0:01:58 | 0:01:59 | |
'Yes, it was. She's old and warty, and looks a bit evil, | 0:01:59 | 0:02:02 | |
'don't you think? | 0:02:02 | 0:02:03 | |
'So we had her dragged away, and given a fair trial.' | 0:02:03 | 0:02:06 | |
Do you have a cat? | 0:02:06 | 0:02:08 | |
Yeah. | 0:02:08 | 0:02:10 | |
Then, thou art a witch. | 0:02:10 | 0:02:12 | |
'She was put to death, and her cat sent to prison.' | 0:02:12 | 0:02:16 | |
So if you have anything go wrong in your life, call Witchfinders Direct. | 0:02:16 | 0:02:20 | |
We'll find some innocent old woman and blame her for it. | 0:02:20 | 0:02:24 | |
'Witchfinders. Because old ladies deserve it.' | 0:02:24 | 0:02:28 | |
In the 1600s, confessing to being a witch could result in burning. | 0:02:28 | 0:02:31 | |
Not confessing could result in being tortured | 0:02:31 | 0:02:33 | |
until you said you were a witch. Then, in burning. | 0:02:33 | 0:02:36 | |
Not all witches were burned. Other punishments included | 0:02:36 | 0:02:38 | |
forced fasting, exile, hanging, beheading, stoning and gouging. | 0:02:38 | 0:02:42 | |
Did you know that Matthew Hopkins, the Stuart Witchfinder General, | 0:02:42 | 0:02:47 | |
was responsible for 300 executions? | 0:02:47 | 0:02:49 | |
Ha-ha-ha! | 0:02:49 | 0:02:51 | |
I know! Only 300! | 0:02:51 | 0:02:53 | |
He barely makes it onto my Execution-o-meter. | 0:02:53 | 0:02:57 | |
Anyway, what's next on my list of scary things? | 0:02:57 | 0:03:01 | |
At number 11, it's mothers! Ha-ha-ha! | 0:03:02 | 0:03:05 | |
I'm joking. I'm kidding, Mother, it's a joke! | 0:03:05 | 0:03:08 | |
No, I've gone for aliens. Ha-ha-ha! | 0:03:10 | 0:03:12 | |
This story cracks me up. | 0:03:12 | 0:03:15 | |
Greetings, horror hounds. I am Vincenzo Laughoff. | 0:03:20 | 0:03:25 | |
And this week's scary story is from the Middle Ages. | 0:03:25 | 0:03:30 | |
It's called The Children Of Woolpit. | 0:03:30 | 0:03:34 | |
It was 1173, an especially eerie yearie, | 0:03:35 | 0:03:40 | |
when the small village of Woolpit, in the county of Suffolk, | 0:03:40 | 0:03:43 | |
was invaded by creatures from another world. | 0:03:43 | 0:03:47 | |
Oooh... | 0:03:47 | 0:03:48 | |
Indeed. | 0:03:48 | 0:03:50 | |
One day, two aliens appeared in the village. | 0:03:50 | 0:03:52 | |
These aliens had taken the form of two children, a boy and a girl. | 0:03:52 | 0:03:56 | |
But their skin was bright green | 0:03:56 | 0:03:58 | |
and they spoke in a strange, alien language... | 0:03:58 | 0:04:01 | |
HE SPEAKS IN AN ALIEN VOICE | 0:04:01 | 0:04:05 | |
..or something. | 0:04:05 | 0:04:07 | |
Yes, the villagers of Woolpit were terrified. | 0:04:07 | 0:04:10 | |
These green-skinned aliens demanded to be fed, | 0:04:10 | 0:04:13 | |
but what they ate was truly chilling. | 0:04:13 | 0:04:16 | |
Something no real human child would eat without being forced. | 0:04:16 | 0:04:20 | |
Yes, vegetables! | 0:04:20 | 0:04:22 | |
Aaah! | 0:04:22 | 0:04:23 | |
And then, quite without warning, the boy alien dropped down dead! | 0:04:23 | 0:04:26 | |
Aaah! | 0:04:26 | 0:04:28 | |
And the girl alien? | 0:04:28 | 0:04:29 | |
Well, that's the strangest part of all. | 0:04:29 | 0:04:33 | |
She became a part-time domestic servant. | 0:04:33 | 0:04:38 | |
Ahem! | 0:04:41 | 0:04:42 | |
It turned out that these children were not from Mars or Venus, | 0:04:42 | 0:04:46 | |
they were from... | 0:04:46 | 0:04:48 | |
Belgium. | 0:04:48 | 0:04:49 | |
They were orphans, the children of Belgian cloth makers. | 0:04:51 | 0:04:54 | |
Their skin was green, because of the dye the parents used on the cloth. | 0:04:54 | 0:04:58 | |
They'd been living in the woods so long | 0:04:58 | 0:05:00 | |
the only food they recognised was vegetation. | 0:05:00 | 0:05:02 | |
The boy died of malnutrition, the girl grew up, learned English, | 0:05:02 | 0:05:05 | |
got married, and went to work for a local knight. | 0:05:05 | 0:05:07 | |
This is not a scary story, is it? | 0:05:07 | 0:05:09 | |
It's a sort of boring story, with a weird beginning. | 0:05:09 | 0:05:11 | |
That isn't the same thing. I mean, why am I here? | 0:05:11 | 0:05:14 | |
I grew a goatee for this. | 0:05:14 | 0:05:15 | |
It's unbelievable! | 0:05:15 | 0:05:17 | |
I'm going to my dressing room, and there had better be doughnuts. | 0:05:17 | 0:05:21 | |
Next up, at number ten, it's more witches. | 0:05:21 | 0:05:25 | |
I can't get enough of them. | 0:05:25 | 0:05:26 | |
In the Tudor era, they saw them everywhere. | 0:05:26 | 0:05:30 | |
There we are, my darlings. | 0:05:30 | 0:05:32 | |
Daddy, can we get a cat? | 0:05:32 | 0:05:34 | |
BOTH: Oh, please, can we? Can we, please, please? | 0:05:34 | 0:05:37 | |
Now, come on kids, we've been through this before, haven't we? | 0:05:37 | 0:05:41 | |
You know we can't have a cat, because a cat could be...a witch! | 0:05:41 | 0:05:45 | |
Witches in disguise, they be! | 0:05:45 | 0:05:49 | |
It's a well-known Tudor fact | 0:05:49 | 0:05:51 | |
that witches often disguise themselves as cats. | 0:05:51 | 0:05:55 | |
How about a dog, then? | 0:05:55 | 0:05:56 | |
BOTH: Oh, please, a doggy, they're so cute and cuddly! | 0:05:56 | 0:06:00 | |
I know they are, but you know we can't have a dog, | 0:06:00 | 0:06:02 | |
because a dog could be...a witch! | 0:06:02 | 0:06:05 | |
Witches in disguise, they be! | 0:06:05 | 0:06:09 | |
Well, then, can I at least keep this toad I found? | 0:06:09 | 0:06:13 | |
Witch! | 0:06:13 | 0:06:14 | |
Witches in disguise, they be! | 0:06:14 | 0:06:17 | |
FROG CROAKS | 0:06:19 | 0:06:20 | |
SPLASH | 0:06:20 | 0:06:21 | |
Oh! | 0:06:21 | 0:06:23 | |
WASP FLIES IN | 0:06:23 | 0:06:24 | |
Argh! | 0:06:24 | 0:06:26 | |
This witch has turned itself into a wasp! | 0:06:26 | 0:06:29 | |
Argh! Begone. | 0:06:29 | 0:06:31 | |
Evil witch, begone! | 0:06:31 | 0:06:34 | |
Excellent, yes. | 0:06:37 | 0:06:38 | |
All safe and sound now. | 0:06:38 | 0:06:40 | |
EVIL CACKLING | 0:06:40 | 0:06:43 | |
-Morning, dear. -Morning. | 0:06:43 | 0:06:45 | |
BOTH: Morning, Mum. | 0:06:45 | 0:06:46 | |
Did you have a nice night's work? | 0:06:46 | 0:06:48 | |
Well, mustn't grumble, but I'm famished now, | 0:06:48 | 0:06:50 | |
I could eat a small child. | 0:06:50 | 0:06:53 | |
TOILET FLUSHES | 0:06:55 | 0:06:57 | |
Oh, ha-ha! | 0:06:57 | 0:06:59 | |
I'd give it five minutes, if I were you. | 0:06:59 | 0:07:01 | |
Had a curry last night, feel like death warmed up. | 0:07:01 | 0:07:04 | |
Ha-ha-ha! | 0:07:04 | 0:07:06 | |
Death warmed up, the curry warmed me up, I'm Death. | 0:07:06 | 0:07:09 | |
Anyone? Anyone? Oh, forget it. | 0:07:09 | 0:07:11 | |
Now, at number nine, it's Roman Emperors. | 0:07:11 | 0:07:15 | |
But which one to choose? | 0:07:15 | 0:07:16 | |
They're all so evil and twisted. | 0:07:16 | 0:07:18 | |
Caligula, Commodus? No, it's got to be... | 0:07:18 | 0:07:21 | |
Nero! | 0:07:21 | 0:07:23 | |
I'm a huge fan of his work. I am, I really am. | 0:07:23 | 0:07:26 | |
Emperor Nero, fabulous party. | 0:07:27 | 0:07:30 | |
Thank you, thank you. | 0:07:30 | 0:07:32 | |
I love what you've done with the place. | 0:07:32 | 0:07:34 | |
-I particularly like these huge candles. -Oh, yeah. | 0:07:34 | 0:07:37 | |
I had them made specially. | 0:07:37 | 0:07:39 | |
Shaped like Christians. | 0:07:39 | 0:07:40 | |
They ARE Christians. | 0:07:40 | 0:07:41 | |
SCREAMING | 0:07:41 | 0:07:43 | |
Sorry? What? Real Christians? | 0:07:43 | 0:07:46 | |
Yeah, actual Christians. Can we get another candle, please? | 0:07:46 | 0:07:49 | |
Candle on lawn six. | 0:07:49 | 0:07:52 | |
Emperor, erm, how can you do that? | 0:07:52 | 0:07:55 | |
Oh, it's very simple. You just get a Christian, | 0:07:55 | 0:07:58 | |
tie him to a stake, dip him in tar, stick a wick on top of him, | 0:07:58 | 0:08:01 | |
voila - Christian candle. | 0:08:01 | 0:08:02 | |
SCREAMING | 0:08:02 | 0:08:04 | |
-They're in excruciating pain! -I know! It's brilliant, isn't it? | 0:08:04 | 0:08:07 | |
You get to light up your garden and torch Christians at the same time | 0:08:07 | 0:08:10 | |
so, you know, two birds, one stone. | 0:08:10 | 0:08:13 | |
Isn't it a bit, dare I say it... sick? | 0:08:13 | 0:08:16 | |
How so? | 0:08:16 | 0:08:18 | |
Well, I mean, torturing a fellow human being like that. | 0:08:18 | 0:08:21 | |
If I didn't know any better, | 0:08:21 | 0:08:22 | |
I'd say you feel a bit sorry for him. | 0:08:22 | 0:08:24 | |
SCREAMING | 0:08:24 | 0:08:26 | |
You're not Christian, are you? | 0:08:26 | 0:08:28 | |
Only that candle's just gone out. | 0:08:28 | 0:08:30 | |
We need another Christian. | 0:08:30 | 0:08:32 | |
You were saying? | 0:08:32 | 0:08:35 | |
Well, I love the party. | 0:08:35 | 0:08:37 | |
Particularly like those... | 0:08:37 | 0:08:39 | |
SCREAMING | 0:08:39 | 0:08:40 | |
..those great candles. | 0:08:40 | 0:08:41 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:08:41 | 0:08:43 | |
-I agree. -Really good. | 0:08:43 | 0:08:44 | |
SCREAMING | 0:08:44 | 0:08:45 | |
Really good candles... | 0:08:45 | 0:08:48 | |
You like the candles, you should see the fireworks later. | 0:08:48 | 0:08:51 | |
So, anyway, yeah, this is my gaff, my pad, my crib. | 0:08:51 | 0:08:55 | |
Well, yes, technically, it's your crib, Mother. | 0:08:55 | 0:08:59 | |
I still live with my mum... Which is lovely! | 0:08:59 | 0:09:01 | |
No, it isn't, it's awful. | 0:09:01 | 0:09:03 | |
As soon as I get enough money, I am out of here. | 0:09:03 | 0:09:05 | |
Anyway, on to my next selection. | 0:09:05 | 0:09:08 | |
At number eight, it's deaths, | 0:09:08 | 0:09:11 | |
and not just any old deaths but... | 0:09:11 | 0:09:14 | |
# Stupid deaths, stupid deaths | 0:09:14 | 0:09:16 | |
# They're funny cos they're true Hoo-hoo! # | 0:09:16 | 0:09:18 | |
Come on, Mother, sing along, this is what I'm famous for. | 0:09:18 | 0:09:21 | |
# Stupid deaths, stupid deaths | 0:09:21 | 0:09:23 | |
# Hope next time it's not you Hee-hee! # | 0:09:23 | 0:09:25 | |
Here, from the Middle Ages, is one of my absolute favourites. | 0:09:25 | 0:09:29 | |
Next! | 0:09:29 | 0:09:31 | |
And your name is? | 0:09:31 | 0:09:32 | |
Henry I, King of England. | 0:09:32 | 0:09:35 | |
HE FARTS | 0:09:35 | 0:09:36 | |
Oh, sorry. | 0:09:36 | 0:09:37 | |
Well, Henry, you seem to have a little problem. | 0:09:37 | 0:09:40 | |
Anything you'd like to divulge? | 0:09:40 | 0:09:42 | |
Yes, I'll tell you my story, but I'm going to have to be quick. | 0:09:42 | 0:09:46 | |
Yes, please. | 0:09:46 | 0:09:47 | |
I was visiting my grandchildren in Normandy | 0:09:47 | 0:09:49 | |
and I had a lovely meal of my favourite dish - lamprey. | 0:09:49 | 0:09:53 | |
Lamprey? | 0:09:53 | 0:09:54 | |
Yes, it's a kind of eel, well nice. | 0:09:54 | 0:09:56 | |
Oh, yes, yes, they are nice. Carry on. | 0:09:56 | 0:09:59 | |
I just loved them so much and I scoffed and I scoffed | 0:09:59 | 0:10:02 | |
and I scoffed, um, um, um, um... | 0:10:02 | 0:10:04 | |
And I had so many that I got a real pain in my gut. | 0:10:04 | 0:10:07 | |
Did the eels make you feel EEL? He-he-he! | 0:10:07 | 0:10:11 | |
Do you get it? Eel, ill... I'm saying eel, ill, eel... | 0:10:11 | 0:10:14 | |
Yes, I get it. | 0:10:14 | 0:10:15 | |
-Oh, it's just you didn't laugh, so I thought... -No. | 0:10:15 | 0:10:18 | |
..you didn't hear it. No, OK, carry on. | 0:10:18 | 0:10:19 | |
Well, my doctor advised me to take a laxative. | 0:10:19 | 0:10:22 | |
He said it would give me diarrhoea for a day, | 0:10:22 | 0:10:25 | |
-but it would clear out my bowels. -Hm, charming(!) | 0:10:25 | 0:10:28 | |
Yes, and clear out my bowels it certainly did. | 0:10:28 | 0:10:30 | |
I just kept on pooing and pooing and pooing. | 0:10:30 | 0:10:35 | |
-Yes? -Until I died. | 0:10:35 | 0:10:37 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:10:37 | 0:10:40 | |
Hey, you could say you were DYING to go to the toilet! | 0:10:40 | 0:10:43 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:10:43 | 0:10:44 | |
-Can I go now? -I'll just confer with the judges. | 0:10:44 | 0:10:47 | |
Hm, er, yes, yes, oh... | 0:10:47 | 0:10:50 | |
-Yeah, oh, I completely agree. -No, no, I really need to go now. | 0:10:50 | 0:10:53 | |
Well, Henry, congratulations, | 0:10:53 | 0:10:55 | |
you're through to the afterlife. | 0:10:55 | 0:10:57 | |
Thank you. Gangway! | 0:10:57 | 0:10:58 | |
HE FARTS | 0:10:58 | 0:10:59 | |
Poo-ee, you sure one of those wasn't you, hm? | 0:10:59 | 0:11:03 | |
You? Oh, how could you? Face of an angel. | 0:11:03 | 0:11:07 | |
# Stupid deaths, stupid deaths | 0:11:07 | 0:11:09 | |
# Hope next time it's not you Hoo-hoo! # | 0:11:09 | 0:11:12 | |
At number seven, who better to scare you | 0:11:12 | 0:11:15 | |
than the people who gave us the word "scare"? It's got to be... | 0:11:15 | 0:11:19 | |
the Vikings. | 0:11:19 | 0:11:21 | |
Viking warriors, tomorrow, as the sun rises, | 0:11:21 | 0:11:26 | |
we set sail for England! | 0:11:26 | 0:11:28 | |
CHEERING | 0:11:28 | 0:11:31 | |
-We have our axes! ALL: -Yes! | 0:11:31 | 0:11:33 | |
We have our daggers. | 0:11:33 | 0:11:35 | |
We have our swords. | 0:11:35 | 0:11:37 | |
But now, we have a new weapon at our disposal. | 0:11:37 | 0:11:40 | |
Make-up. | 0:11:41 | 0:11:42 | |
HE CHUCKLES | 0:11:42 | 0:11:43 | |
-What? -Do this, my brothers... | 0:11:43 | 0:11:46 | |
..and you shall strike fear into our enemies' hearts. | 0:11:48 | 0:11:52 | |
-ALL: -Yes! | 0:11:52 | 0:11:55 | |
Let's go and kill some monks! | 0:11:55 | 0:11:58 | |
-ALL: -Yeah! | 0:11:58 | 0:12:00 | |
Sven, my old friend, excellent. You will chill the enemy to their bones. | 0:12:00 | 0:12:06 | |
Bjorn, that's what I call really scary. | 0:12:06 | 0:12:11 | |
Erik... | 0:12:13 | 0:12:14 | |
It's the nose, isn't it? A bit too much? | 0:12:16 | 0:12:18 | |
No, it's really terrifying. | 0:12:18 | 0:12:20 | |
Let's get us some monastery! | 0:12:20 | 0:12:23 | |
THEY SCREAM | 0:12:23 | 0:12:26 | |
Has he gone? Oh, I can't stand clowns, really, I can't. | 0:12:27 | 0:12:32 | |
They give me the creeps with their white gloves and white faces | 0:12:32 | 0:12:35 | |
and weird hair. Ooh-oh. | 0:12:35 | 0:12:37 | |
Anyway, on with the funny stuff. | 0:12:37 | 0:12:40 | |
What's next on my list of favourite things? | 0:12:40 | 0:12:43 | |
At number six, it's horror. | 0:12:43 | 0:12:46 | |
Yes, there's nothing like a good horror movie to lift the spirits | 0:12:46 | 0:12:50 | |
and have a good laugh. Ha-ha. | 0:12:50 | 0:12:52 | |
Er, she prefers romcoms. | 0:12:52 | 0:12:54 | |
Here's a horror from the Second World War, enjoy. | 0:12:54 | 0:12:58 | |
'He had been evacuated from the city | 0:12:59 | 0:13:02 | |
'to a foster home in the country.' | 0:13:02 | 0:13:04 | |
This is your new home now, Charlie, | 0:13:04 | 0:13:06 | |
until the Germans stop bombing London. | 0:13:06 | 0:13:08 | |
Don't worry, you'll be safe here. | 0:13:08 | 0:13:10 | |
-Can I go play, Mrs Jones? -Of course, Charlie. | 0:13:10 | 0:13:13 | |
Mind you don't come to any harm. | 0:13:13 | 0:13:15 | |
'But here he was to face something | 0:13:15 | 0:13:17 | |
'even more terrifying than German bombs. | 0:13:17 | 0:13:20 | |
'It was like nothing he'd ever seen before in the city.' | 0:13:20 | 0:13:24 | |
Moo! | 0:13:24 | 0:13:25 | |
Ahhhh! | 0:13:25 | 0:13:26 | |
'It came from the meadow.' | 0:13:26 | 0:13:28 | |
Moo! | 0:13:28 | 0:13:29 | |
Ahhhh! | 0:13:29 | 0:13:31 | |
It had horns to butt with | 0:13:31 | 0:13:34 | |
and it made a terrifying noise! | 0:13:34 | 0:13:36 | |
Moo! | 0:13:36 | 0:13:37 | |
Ahhhh! | 0:13:37 | 0:13:38 | |
It had six sides and it had a tail on which hangs a brush! | 0:13:38 | 0:13:43 | |
Don't be silly, Charlie, it's just a cow. | 0:13:43 | 0:13:46 | |
Aaaah! | 0:13:46 | 0:13:48 | |
'Everything was new, everything was scary.' | 0:13:48 | 0:13:50 | |
Baa! | 0:13:50 | 0:13:52 | |
HE SHRIEKS | 0:13:52 | 0:13:54 | |
'The farm. Just when you thought it was safer in the country.' | 0:13:54 | 0:13:57 | |
It is. | 0:13:57 | 0:13:59 | |
Next up, at number five, | 0:13:59 | 0:14:03 | |
it's the Aztecs. | 0:14:03 | 0:14:06 | |
Did you know that Aztec priests used to sacrifice | 0:14:06 | 0:14:08 | |
about 50,000 victims a year in lots of gruesome ways? | 0:14:08 | 0:14:13 | |
Ha-ha! What's not to like? Take it away, boys. | 0:14:13 | 0:14:17 | |
DISCO MUSIC PLAYS | 0:14:17 | 0:14:18 | |
# We're Aztec priests So mind your head | 0:14:25 | 0:14:27 | |
# Our prisoners always wind up dead | 0:14:27 | 0:14:29 | |
# Our favourite colour is blood red We're not nice | 0:14:29 | 0:14:33 | |
# At an Aztec temple's opening day | 0:14:33 | 0:14:35 | |
# We priests would please Our gods this way | 0:14:35 | 0:14:38 | |
# Hoards of enemies we'd slay Mass sacrifice | 0:14:38 | 0:14:41 | |
# To win at war Make crops grow more | 0:14:41 | 0:14:44 | |
# To cure our kids when ill | 0:14:44 | 0:14:46 | |
# The sun to shine This song to rhyme | 0:14:46 | 0:14:48 | |
# More victims we must kill | 0:14:48 | 0:14:50 | |
ALL: # Hah, hah, hah, hah | 0:14:50 | 0:14:52 | |
# You won't survive You won't survive | 0:14:52 | 0:14:55 | |
ALL: # Hah, hah, hah, hah | 0:14:55 | 0:14:57 | |
# Ain't staying alive Ain't staying alive, yeah! | 0:14:57 | 0:15:01 | |
# With sacrifice, we priests appease | 0:15:01 | 0:15:03 | |
# Our gods each powerful big cheese | 0:15:03 | 0:15:06 | |
# Let's hear it for your favourites Please, ah-ah-ah-ah! | 0:15:06 | 0:15:10 | |
BOTH: # We're doing it for Toci! | 0:15:10 | 0:15:12 | |
# The Aztec goddess At the earth's heart | 0:15:12 | 0:15:14 | |
BOTH: # We're doing it for Chantico! | 0:15:14 | 0:15:16 | |
# Goddess who makes volcanoes start | 0:15:16 | 0:15:18 | |
BOTH: # We're doing it for Itzli! | 0:15:18 | 0:15:20 | |
# The goddess of stone knives | 0:15:20 | 0:15:22 | |
BOTH: # We're doing it for Itzpapalotlometeotlchiconahuiehecatl | 0:15:22 | 0:15:28 | |
# Uh... Some other god's Great lives! | 0:15:28 | 0:15:31 | |
ALL: # Hah, hah, hah, hah | 0:15:31 | 0:15:33 | |
# Don't cross us Aztecs We advise ya | 0:15:33 | 0:15:35 | |
ALL: # Hah, hah, hah, hah | 0:15:35 | 0:15:37 | |
# Or you'll end up as fertiliser Yeah! | 0:15:37 | 0:15:41 | |
# Our year starts in November When every priestly member | 0:15:41 | 0:15:45 | |
# Is asked if they'll remember Our Aztec dead | 0:15:45 | 0:15:50 | |
# We do this if you haven't guessed By getting something off your chest | 0:15:50 | 0:15:54 | |
# Your heart would probably be best Or else your head | 0:15:54 | 0:15:58 | |
# And then, on our year planners It's the raising of the banners | 0:15:58 | 0:16:02 | |
# And it's only polite manners To kill more guys | 0:16:02 | 0:16:07 | |
# December and January Dismembering methods vary | 0:16:07 | 0:16:11 | |
# All you need to know is that we pile them high | 0:16:11 | 0:16:15 | |
# May and June, it's summertime The killing is easy | 0:16:15 | 0:16:20 | |
# It's only halfway Through the year | 0:16:20 | 0:16:22 | |
# I bet you're feeling queasy | 0:16:22 | 0:16:24 | |
# In autumn time, we sweep our homes And kill some more, but then | 0:16:24 | 0:16:28 | |
# By late October, the killing's over Then, it starts up again | 0:16:28 | 0:16:33 | |
BOTH: # Hah, hah, hah, hah | 0:16:33 | 0:16:35 | |
# You won't survive You won't survive | 0:16:35 | 0:16:37 | |
BOTH: # Hah, hah, hah, hah | 0:16:37 | 0:16:39 | |
# Ain't staying alive Ain't staying alive | 0:16:39 | 0:16:41 | |
BOTH: # Hah, hah, hah, hah | 0:16:41 | 0:16:43 | |
# Want to live until you're old? | 0:16:43 | 0:16:45 | |
BOTH: # Hah, hah, hah, hah. # | 0:16:45 | 0:16:47 | |
Avoid us priests, you've been told. | 0:16:47 | 0:16:52 | |
You're watching my scary special. | 0:16:52 | 0:16:55 | |
DOORBELL RINGS | 0:16:55 | 0:16:56 | |
Oh, sorry, doorbell scared me. | 0:16:56 | 0:17:01 | |
Ahhh! | 0:17:01 | 0:17:02 | |
Thought I saw a ghost, then. | 0:17:02 | 0:17:04 | |
Just a sec. | 0:17:04 | 0:17:06 | |
Yes? | 0:17:07 | 0:17:08 | |
Delivery for Mr De'Ath. Sign here, mate. | 0:17:08 | 0:17:10 | |
Oh, OK. Um, I wonder what it is! | 0:17:10 | 0:17:14 | |
It's a scythe, mate. | 0:17:14 | 0:17:16 | |
Oh, thanks a lot, ruin the surprise, why don't you? | 0:17:16 | 0:17:19 | |
Honestly, there's no magic any more, is there? No mystique. Hm! | 0:17:19 | 0:17:23 | |
Our Roman Emperor, Caligula, | 0:17:29 | 0:17:31 | |
could be a really nasty piece of work, | 0:17:31 | 0:17:33 | |
even to his loyal followers. | 0:17:33 | 0:17:35 | |
But don't tell him I told you so. | 0:17:35 | 0:17:37 | |
Oh, mighty Caligula! | 0:17:40 | 0:17:42 | |
Are my eyes deceiving me? | 0:17:42 | 0:17:43 | |
Have you recovered from your dreadful illness? | 0:17:43 | 0:17:45 | |
Oh, thank the gods! | 0:17:45 | 0:17:47 | |
-Don't touch the toga. -Oh, sorry. | 0:17:47 | 0:17:50 | |
Indeed I am better, | 0:17:50 | 0:17:51 | |
and I am told that when my doctors didn't know what to do with me | 0:17:51 | 0:17:54 | |
it was you who came to my rescue. | 0:17:54 | 0:17:57 | |
-Oh, it was nothing. -Nothing at all. | 0:17:57 | 0:17:59 | |
You begged to the gods to make me better. | 0:17:59 | 0:18:00 | |
Well, now you come to mention it.... | 0:18:00 | 0:18:02 | |
I don't want to make a big thing of this at all, | 0:18:02 | 0:18:05 | |
but it was actually my idea. | 0:18:05 | 0:18:06 | |
-All right. -Well, it was. | 0:18:06 | 0:18:08 | |
Why do you have to do that? | 0:18:08 | 0:18:09 | |
Well, I came to say thank you, | 0:18:09 | 0:18:13 | |
so, uh, thank you. | 0:18:13 | 0:18:14 | |
-Was that it? No gold? -No land? | 0:18:14 | 0:18:16 | |
Not even a bit of small change for me? | 0:18:16 | 0:18:18 | |
-After all, it was my idea. -Why do you keep saying it? | 0:18:18 | 0:18:21 | |
Well, I don't know what you do with it where you're going. | 0:18:21 | 0:18:24 | |
Am I missing something here? | 0:18:24 | 0:18:25 | |
Well, I understand - and forgive me if I'm wrong here - | 0:18:25 | 0:18:28 | |
but when you prayed to the gods for my speedy recovery | 0:18:28 | 0:18:31 | |
you did, at one point, | 0:18:31 | 0:18:33 | |
offer the gods your lives in return for mine. | 0:18:33 | 0:18:37 | |
Yes...technically. | 0:18:37 | 0:18:39 | |
And my good health has recovered. | 0:18:39 | 0:18:41 | |
So now it's your turn to keep your side of the bargain. | 0:18:41 | 0:18:47 | |
Please! Have mercy! | 0:18:47 | 0:18:49 | |
"I've got a great idea," she says. "It'll all be all right," she says. | 0:18:49 | 0:18:52 | |
All right! I'll give you me death! | 0:18:52 | 0:18:54 | |
What a lovely couple! | 0:18:54 | 0:18:56 | |
Don't you think so, Mr Finger? | 0:18:56 | 0:18:58 | |
No, they stink! | 0:18:58 | 0:18:59 | |
Ooh, you're right, they did. | 0:18:59 | 0:19:01 | |
Someone burn this toga. | 0:19:01 | 0:19:03 | |
A peasant has touched it! | 0:19:03 | 0:19:05 | |
Next, at number three, it's pirates. | 0:19:05 | 0:19:09 | |
I mean, what's scarier than a pirate? | 0:19:09 | 0:19:11 | |
A pirate doctor, that's what. | 0:19:11 | 0:19:13 | |
Oh, you poor thing, that looks nasty, | 0:19:25 | 0:19:28 | |
but I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. | 0:19:28 | 0:19:31 | |
-I'll just see if there's a doctor around. -Argh, morning, nurse! | 0:19:31 | 0:19:34 | |
Morning, and you are? | 0:19:34 | 0:19:35 | |
One-Eyed Ned, pirate extraordinaire. | 0:19:35 | 0:19:37 | |
I've got my chest here full of the finest pirate medicines. | 0:19:37 | 0:19:40 | |
Argh, sea water. Hemlock. | 0:19:40 | 0:19:44 | |
That's poisonous, isn't it? | 0:19:44 | 0:19:46 | |
Only if I don't read the instructions, | 0:19:46 | 0:19:48 | |
which I probably won't, | 0:19:48 | 0:19:49 | |
cos they're all in Latin and I can't read anyway. Ha-ha-ha! | 0:19:49 | 0:19:52 | |
Right, let's have a look at you, me young swabby. | 0:19:52 | 0:19:55 | |
Argh, touch of scurvy, eh? Argh, well, there's not much | 0:19:55 | 0:19:58 | |
a bit of blood-letting won't cure. | 0:19:58 | 0:20:00 | |
Removes other toxins, so it does. | 0:20:00 | 0:20:03 | |
I haven't got scurvy, I've just got a cut on my leg. | 0:20:03 | 0:20:05 | |
Argh! Why didn't you say so? | 0:20:05 | 0:20:07 | |
Oh, we'll have it off in no time. | 0:20:07 | 0:20:09 | |
Off? | 0:20:09 | 0:20:10 | |
Yeah, you don't want a rotten leg aboard a ship, do you? | 0:20:10 | 0:20:12 | |
-But it's only a little cut. -Well, better safe than sorry. | 0:20:12 | 0:20:16 | |
Trust me, I'm a carpenter. | 0:20:16 | 0:20:18 | |
A carpenter? I thought you said you were a doctor? | 0:20:18 | 0:20:21 | |
We had a doctor! | 0:20:21 | 0:20:22 | |
But he died, he mostly just sawed off limbs anyway. Ha! | 0:20:22 | 0:20:26 | |
And I'm the ship's carpenter, so I know me ways about a saw. | 0:20:26 | 0:20:30 | |
Say "Argh." | 0:20:31 | 0:20:33 | |
-Argh. -Argh! | 0:20:33 | 0:20:34 | |
-Argh. -Argh! | 0:20:34 | 0:20:36 | |
Oh, you're a chatty one, ain't ya? | 0:20:36 | 0:20:38 | |
Isn't there anything you can give him to ease the pain, any anaesthetic? | 0:20:38 | 0:20:41 | |
-Oh, I've never heard of 'em. -Oh, rum, maybe? | 0:20:41 | 0:20:44 | |
Don't mind if I do. | 0:20:44 | 0:20:46 | |
HE MOANS | 0:20:46 | 0:20:49 | |
Not so fast, laddie! | 0:20:49 | 0:20:50 | |
Better see if he survives first. | 0:20:50 | 0:20:52 | |
-No good wasting good rum on the dead. -Yeah. | 0:20:52 | 0:20:55 | |
Nurse, the leg. | 0:20:56 | 0:20:58 | |
Almost finished, all we got to do now is seal the wound. | 0:20:58 | 0:21:03 | |
-With stitches and a clean dressing? -No! | 0:21:03 | 0:21:06 | |
With a load of hot tar. Argh. | 0:21:06 | 0:21:08 | |
HE SCREAMS IN PAIN | 0:21:08 | 0:21:10 | |
Oh, good thinking, nurse! | 0:21:12 | 0:21:15 | |
Argh, hah, hah, argh. | 0:21:15 | 0:21:17 | |
Here's your new leg. | 0:21:18 | 0:21:20 | |
And next, at number two, it's executions. | 0:21:22 | 0:21:26 | |
Uh-huh! I love a good execution, and so did the Georgians. | 0:21:26 | 0:21:30 | |
Hello and welcome to the News At When. | 0:21:36 | 0:21:38 | |
When? 1724, when a third of London's population | 0:21:38 | 0:21:41 | |
turned out to see Britain's most famous criminal. | 0:21:41 | 0:21:45 | |
To find out more, let's go over live to Jessica Harvey-Smyth, | 0:21:45 | 0:21:49 | |
who's soaking up the atmosphere. | 0:21:49 | 0:21:51 | |
As you can see, | 0:21:51 | 0:21:52 | |
thousands of people have turned up just to catch a glimpse | 0:21:52 | 0:21:56 | |
of their hero, Jack Sheppard, | 0:21:56 | 0:21:57 | |
Perhaps one of London's most glamorous criminals. | 0:21:57 | 0:22:00 | |
He's escaped from prison not once, not twice but four times, | 0:22:00 | 0:22:04 | |
and these people clearly love him for it. | 0:22:04 | 0:22:06 | |
Jack Shepherd is well lush. | 0:22:06 | 0:22:08 | |
Yeah, he's like such a rebel and he's so daring. | 0:22:08 | 0:22:10 | |
So how long have you been a fan? | 0:22:10 | 0:22:12 | |
Er, like since his first escape. | 0:22:12 | 0:22:13 | |
He was being held in St Giles' Roundhouse, | 0:22:13 | 0:22:16 | |
he broke out through the roof. | 0:22:16 | 0:22:17 | |
Yeah, he lowered himself to the ground using bed sheets | 0:22:17 | 0:22:19 | |
tied together, it was well wicked. | 0:22:19 | 0:22:21 | |
And I really liked it when he escaped from Newgate Prison | 0:22:21 | 0:22:23 | |
-dressed in ladies' clothes. -Yeah, that was so awesome. | 0:22:23 | 0:22:26 | |
There he is, there he is! | 0:22:26 | 0:22:27 | |
Let's try to get an interview with him. | 0:22:27 | 0:22:29 | |
Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack! | 0:22:29 | 0:22:31 | |
HHTV News, um, can we have a few words? | 0:22:31 | 0:22:34 | |
Of course you can, nice to meet you. | 0:22:34 | 0:22:36 | |
Oh, well, um, 300,000 Georgians have turned up | 0:22:36 | 0:22:40 | |
just to catch a glimpse of you, Jack, | 0:22:40 | 0:22:42 | |
that's one quarter of London's population, um, are you nervous? | 0:22:42 | 0:22:46 | |
A few butterflies, it's not every day you're executed. | 0:22:46 | 0:22:49 | |
Well, when you say executed, I'm sure you're planning to make | 0:22:49 | 0:22:52 | |
one of your trademark daring escapes? | 0:22:52 | 0:22:55 | |
Ooh, you know me so well. | 0:22:55 | 0:22:56 | |
I do have a trick up my sleeve, actually, | 0:22:56 | 0:22:59 | |
it's a penknife. | 0:22:59 | 0:23:00 | |
-Brilliant. -And I'm going to use it... | 0:23:00 | 0:23:02 | |
I'll have that. This way, sonny. | 0:23:02 | 0:23:04 | |
I'll think of something! | 0:23:04 | 0:23:06 | |
Jack Sheppard there. | 0:23:06 | 0:23:08 | |
Can't wait to see how he's going to get out of this one. | 0:23:08 | 0:23:10 | |
And the crowd are going to go absolutely wild, | 0:23:10 | 0:23:13 | |
and Jack is getting up on the scaffold now | 0:23:13 | 0:23:15 | |
and he's putting his head in the noose. | 0:23:15 | 0:23:18 | |
I'm sure he's about to make his move any time now. | 0:23:18 | 0:23:21 | |
And the hangman is about to open the trap door. | 0:23:21 | 0:23:24 | |
He should be escaping any second. | 0:23:24 | 0:23:26 | |
THUMPING, CROWD GASPS | 0:23:26 | 0:23:28 | |
Still, always nice to see a good public execution. | 0:23:30 | 0:23:35 | |
Great day out for all the family. | 0:23:35 | 0:23:38 | |
So, who's at number one? | 0:23:38 | 0:23:41 | |
The tension is killing me! Not really, I'm already dead. | 0:23:41 | 0:23:44 | |
Ha! Keep up, keep up. Drum roll, please, Mother. | 0:23:44 | 0:23:48 | |
Whatever. | 0:23:49 | 0:23:51 | |
So...at number one, | 0:23:51 | 0:23:53 | |
it's ME, of course! Ha-ha! | 0:23:53 | 0:23:56 | |
I couldn't decide between all the awful things that were left, | 0:23:56 | 0:23:59 | |
so I decided to include all of them in a song. | 0:23:59 | 0:24:02 | |
My singing's awful, too. | 0:24:02 | 0:24:03 | |
GENTLE PIANO MUSIC | 0:24:03 | 0:24:07 | |
# Fairy cakes, baby ducks Warm winter mittens | 0:24:08 | 0:24:12 | |
# Snowflakes on puppies And cute cuddly kittens | 0:24:12 | 0:24:16 | |
# One of these might be Your favourite thing | 0:24:16 | 0:24:20 | |
# But not me - it's scary That makes me go zing! # | 0:24:20 | 0:24:25 | |
Hee, hee, hee! | 0:24:25 | 0:24:27 | |
# Smallpox and scurvy And fatal diseases | 0:24:27 | 0:24:30 | |
# Lesions and lurgy I like to hear wheezes | 0:24:30 | 0:24:34 | |
# Of bogies and poo I just can't get enough | 0:24:34 | 0:24:37 | |
# Yes, that's just a bit Of my favourite stuff | 0:24:37 | 0:24:41 | |
# Scary, hairy | 0:24:42 | 0:24:46 | |
# Things that go bump in the night | 0:24:46 | 0:24:50 | |
# Slimy, grimy | 0:24:50 | 0:24:53 | |
# I love all that stuff That gives you a fright... # | 0:24:53 | 0:24:56 | |
Boo! | 0:24:56 | 0:24:57 | |
# Emperor Vitellius Being dumped in Rome's sewers | 0:24:57 | 0:25:00 | |
# Brandings with irons For Tudor wrongdoers | 0:25:00 | 0:25:04 | |
# Burke and Hare stealing From Edinburgh's graves | 0:25:04 | 0:25:07 | |
# Yes, these are a few Of my personal faves | 0:25:07 | 0:25:12 | |
# Creepy, weepy | 0:25:12 | 0:25:15 | |
# Do I prefer pustules or boils? Hm... | 0:25:15 | 0:25:19 | |
# Spooky, kooky | 0:25:19 | 0:25:23 | |
# Some of my best friends Look like gargoyles | 0:25:23 | 0:25:26 | |
# William the Conqueror's Exploding body | 0:25:38 | 0:25:41 | |
# A gutsy performance A funeral most oddy | 0:25:41 | 0:25:45 | |
# Ivan the Terrible Stealing a bishop's togs | 0:25:45 | 0:25:48 | |
# Sewed him in bear skins And let out the dogs... # | 0:25:48 | 0:25:52 | |
Woof, woof! | 0:25:52 | 0:25:53 | |
# When I'm feeling Just a bit miz | 0:25:53 | 0:25:57 | |
# Standing at death's door | 0:25:57 | 0:26:00 | |
# I simply remember What makes people barf | 0:26:00 | 0:26:03 | |
# And then I just laugh | 0:26:03 | 0:26:05 | |
# Loads more! | 0:26:05 | 0:26:12 | |
# Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Hee-hee-hee-hee! # | 0:26:12 | 0:26:15 | |
Well, that's all we've got time for. | 0:26:17 | 0:26:19 | |
So it's bye-bye from me, | 0:26:19 | 0:26:21 | |
and bye-bye from Mother. | 0:26:21 | 0:26:23 | |
Bye-bye! | 0:26:23 | 0:26:25 | |
# ..Atrocious acts, we gave you all The fearsome facts... # | 0:26:25 | 0:26:28 | |
If you enjoyed that, | 0:26:28 | 0:26:30 | |
why not come and play? | 0:26:30 | 0:26:32 | |
Go to the CBBC website and click on Horrible Histories. See you there! | 0:26:32 | 0:26:36 | |
# The past is no longer a mystery Hope you enjoyed... | 0:26:36 | 0:26:40 | |
# Horrible Histories. # | 0:26:40 | 0:26:44 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 0:26:58 | 0:27:01 |