Hello Dolly Hotel Trubble

Welcome to Hotel Trubble.

Meet Sally, our receptionist.

People, trying to have a conversation here.

And this is Lenny, he's a man of many talents.

This is Dolly, she's Mr Trubble's fiancee.

And this is Mrs Poshington, our oldest resident.

Which just leaves me, Jamie. I'm the bellboy.

# Hotel Trubble forever

# It's the pits And we know we're stuck

# But we love it

# Hotel Trubble forever

# We're a team staying calm

# Arm in arm

# So the hotel survives

# Hotel Trubble

# Keep the hotel alive! #

It's a bit warm in here, isn't it?

Can we not open the windows?

We've had no heating for months.

The roof's full of holes, it's freezing. Can't you feel the cold?

-How would I do that?

-How would you feel the cold?

-Yeah.

Well, you've got nerves in your skin, yeah?

-Yeah.

-Well, you use them to feel the cold.

And then, then, they send messages to your brain.

-My brain?

-Yes.

Then you use your brain to listen to the messages and feel the cold.

Can't you do that?

Oh! Oh. It's freezing in here.

-Yeah.

-Sally, it's freezing.

I know. Really hard to type with these huge mittens on.

Remember how clean and warm the hotel used to be?

If only Mr Trubble hadn't become Lord Mayor of Telford,

he just doesn't have any time for us any more.

Which is why I'm sending him this email about fixing the hotel.

Yeah, maybe you should take the mittens off, yeah?

Ooh! That's it. I refuse to work under these conditions.

I'm going to phone Mr Trubble and I'm going to tell him I'm going on strike unless he fixes this hotel.

This is our final warning.

We will not back down.

We are united in our struggle.

And you, Mr Trubble, you have to cave in to our demands.

Excellent. Really good.

Now, actually phone him for real.

-OK.

-OK.

ANGRY RANTING OF MR TRUBBLE

Mr Trubble, hi.

HE RANTS

Oh, are you? I've always wanted to go to Telford.

What's it like here?

Oh, it's fine, yeah, yeah. Um.

It's a bit freezing.

It's a bit leaky, a bit awful, yeah.

He says not to worry.

-What?

-He says it's not a problem.

-It is a problem.

It is a problem.

-He says it isn't.

-The problem is he can't see what's going on here.

We need a manager in the hotel,

not someone waltzing around, living the high life in Telford.

Yeah, we need a manager in the hotel,

not someone waltzing around, living the high life in Telford.

I didn't mean you to say that.

-He says it's a very good idea.

-Did he?

I wonder who he's going to put in charge.

Maybe, maybe I...

Maybe I can get the job.

Lenny, where did you get that fish from?

From the ice hole.

-What ice hole?

-You know, the big one with the lid in the kitchen.

-You mean the freezer?

-Oh. That will explain the peas then.

Sally, I wish to make a complaint.

Lenny, one for you.

-Hello.

-It's my room.

It's freezing cold. And wet.

And filthy dirty.

And poor Sirius here, he has a nasty attack of rising damp.

-Look.

-CAT MIAOWS

FARTS

And I'm not too well myself.

I think I've got a bit of a cold coming on.

Look what I coughed up this morning.

I can't see anything.

A hanky, I coughed up the hanky.

Come along, Sirius.

Ah, you there.

Jamie. Call me a doctor.

What's he daydreaming about?

Fresh towels to Mrs Poshington!

Service to Room Three!

Good afternoon, madam.

Yes, yes, I am the manager.

The award-winning manager of Hotel Trubble.

The world's cleanest, warmest hotel.

What're you doing?

Daydreaming about being manager of the hotel.

Oh, right. Hey, I'm daydreaming about being in your daydream.

Do you mind, you're putting me off.

All right?

-Nice daydream.

-Thanks.

Do you mind if I daydream about my favourite band coming to play at the hotel?

All right, look, this is supposed to be my daydream.

-I was having a really nice time managing the hotel.

-Oh, Lenny.

Hey, get out of it.

Right, that's enough!

End of daydream.

Everybody out!

Everybody.

Excuse me. Excuse me!

-You all right?

-Er, yeah, sorry. We were just, oh.

We were having a daydream.

Yeah, my daydream.

Yeah, we were having his daydream.

-May I take your coat?

-Oh yes, thank you.

It's a bit cold in here, isn't it?

Yeah, that's why we want your coat.

Anything else we can do?

Yes, I'm Dolly, I'm Mr Trubble's girlfriend.

-Mr Trubble has a girlfriend?

-Yes.

-Seriously?

-Yes.

-And that's you?

-Yes.

-And do you, like, kiss and cuddle and everything?

-Yes.

Eurgh!

Now, Trubby sent me over...

Oh whoa. Trubby?

Yes. Trubby sent me over because he wants somebody who works here to take charge of the hotel.

Oh, I see. And you've come to?

-To sort it all out?

-Oh, that's great, that's a great idea.

-Do you hear that?

-Yeah, they kiss and cuddle!

No, not that.

She's come to sort out who's in charge.

She's going to make one of us manager.

-Who do you think she'll choose?

-I don't want to blow my own trumpet.

-I think there's one obvious candidate.

-Me.

No! Not you.

-The chef?

-No.

-Oh, General Sirius?

No, me!

All I have to do is make a good impression, and I'll get the job.

I could do with a bit of a rest, I've got a bit of jet lag.

-From the coach.

-I think you'll find this room affords the most spectacular views.

-Of what?

-Of wherever it is that the hotel's situated.

Oh, sounds lovely. Phwoar.

Stinks a bit, mind.

Yes, that would be the damp and the filth, madam.

I'm afraid Mr Trubble's had very little time to organise cleaning and repairs recently.

Repairs? Repairs!

Don't talk to me about repairs.

I ain't been fiddled with since the war. Atchoo!

Of course, I would make cleaning up the dirt my first priority.

Oh, that would be great.

I was just thinking the hotel could do with a full-time cleaner.

That can be you, if you're up to the job.

-I beg your pardon?

-The job.

-Are you up to it?

-The job?

Me? You're choosing me?

-If you want to do it?

-I do.

Please, I won't let you down.

All right then.

Yes! I'm so happy.

Yes. Yes! Yes!

# I could have danced all night

# I could have danced all night

# And still... #

-I've got the job, I'm the new manager!

-Oh, brilliant.

Oh.

Oh.

First thing, polish the numbers and signs on all the doors.

Right you are, sir, manager, sir.

Next, I'm going to close the hotel for renovation and repairs.

Hotel Trubble, your troubles are over.

You've got some right weirdos working here, sweetheart.

Managing them's going to be a bit of a challenge.

And then there's the repairs, the bookings.

Yeah, all those bookings.

Accounts. Catering. Publicity.

Yeah, it's always a big job. The cold. There's just so much work.

-MUFFLED:

-And I've got all these envelopes to lick.

-MUFFLED:

-I hate licking envelopes.

-MUFFLED:

-I'd like to ask you if you wouldn't mind doing it for me, if that's all right?

So can I leave that with you?

Leave what with me?

What we were just talking about.

You want me to do all of that?

Why me?

I don't know.

You seem like the best person for the job.

-I don't think I've had the training.

-The training?

You need to sort out your confidence, girl.

You've got it in you.

I know you have.

Noooo!

Oh? Good news, Sal?

I've been made manager of the hotel.

Oh, brilliant. Oh. Hang on.

I think I'm remembering something.

-I'm the new manager.

-Oh, brilliant.

I've been made manager.

-I'm the new manager.

-I've been made manager.

-New Manager.

-Manager.

-(REPEATS)

-I'm the new manager.

-Oh, brilliant.

-I've been made manager.

-New manager.

-Manager.

-REPEATS TO A DANCE BEAT

What are you doing?

Oh, I don't know.

But I love it when people are manager of the hotel. It's great.

No, it's not great. It's awful.

It's work. Loads of work.

Dolly said, "The grounds, the publicity, the accounts."

SQUEALS

If I was manager, I'd buy you a nice new chair.

Yeah?

I would like a nice new chair.

Yeah. And, er... Biscuits and magazines.

-I've already got those.

-Well, more biscuits and more magazines.

-How much more?

-Loads more.

And if there was any work to do around the hotel, I'd make someone else do it.

# It's a new dawn It's a new day

# It's a new life

# For me

# And I'm feeling good... #

Lenny!

LENNY!

I've done the grounds, Manager, and then I'm going to move onto the accounts and then...

How the hours hang heavy. These menial managerial tasks bore me.

I need some excitement to divert me from the,

oh, the endless responsibility.

Custard cream?

A plague on custard creams!

If only there was some exciting function at the hotel

with music and decorations and celebrities.

Organise one. You're the manager. You can do anything you like.

I can? I can. I can do anything!

So, put up some decorations, Lenny, and bring me the chequebook.

-We're going to have a party - I mean function - at the hotel.

-OK.

Hello. Cut Price Celebrities? I'd like to make a booking

for my favourite band for a wild party at Hotel Trubble.

Right. This is it.

I need everything repainted.

The roof needs doing. Check the wiring.

And there's definitely something wrong with the boiler.

It's just upstairs. There's a sign on the door.

There's nothing wrong with me. I'm just blowing off a bit of steam.

-FART SOUNDS

-Oh, back-draft!

No problem. I'll go straight up and have a look at it.

Thank you. Ah, Lenny, I need you to go down to the cellar.

There's a load of old broken equipment down there.

-Just bring it up and chuck it in the skip. Yeah?

-All right.

So that's one booking for my favourite band, JLZ.

OK. Bye!

Well, I don't think much of your decorations, Lenny!

I was thinking more balloons.

No boiler here.

Where is that doctor?

-Oh, sorry.

-Don't go.

I've been expecting you.

You're here to do the examination.

-Well yeah, but...

-Yes, well, come in. Come in. Let's get it over with.

You see,

it's this dreadful cold.

-I don't think it's anything serious.

-I wouldn't say that.

From what I can see, you're in a pretty bad state.

Oh, dear.

Yeah.

Now, it could be...

your entire system's backed up.

My system?

Yup.

Now, I can try flushing the whole thing out.

-I'm not consenting to that!

-That'd be all right. It's just a case

of blowing a high pressure liquid through your pipes, blow out all the muck.

The muck?!

Oh, did you hear what he said?

Get out of here, you...

you...

revolting quack!

-I was only trying to....

-Oh!

Bite him.

Bite him!

Oh, what an awful man.

What is the NHS coming to?

SHE SCREAMS

You're my favourite band, JLZ.

Oh, I love you!

And you.

Not so keen on you.

I really...love you.

And I'm not a receptionist, by the way. I'm the manager.

Hold it right there, lady.

Back away from the band.

Two feet. Two feet...

-But I'm...

-Back. Bit more. Bit more.

OK, now talk.

I was just wondering...

-The boys don't talk to nobody.

-But I'm the manager!

I don't care two bits who you are.

You want my boys to play your crummy hotel,

-it's going to cost you plenty.

-Oh!

I've got the hotel chequebook.

Well, now we're talking.

I don't see no posters in this joint.

-How the fans going to know they're here?

-Fans?

Oh, the fans.

Don't worry, there'll be hundreds and hundreds of fans.

So what is this sign? "Hotel closed for refurbishment."

That sign is just...

..spelt wrong. It's meant to say, "Massive hotel function with JLZ."

-Yeah, they just... Spelling mistake.

-So, change it! Now!

-Come on, boys, let's go burn some fan mail.

-Bye.

Lenny? Lenny!

What?

What is this sign?

I don't know.

I think it's Jamie's.

Yeah, we'll change it. And can you put all their equipment in the TV room?

Gosh.

Everything all right? How's that little job that I asked you to do coming along?

It's all right, but a bit stressful - I'm trying to learn the ropes.

Stressful? But it's the simplest job in the world, sweetheart.

-Have you got any tips?

-Tips?

Just lick 'em. That's all there is to it, really.

Just lick 'em?

Flush out all my muck, indeed!

Who'd have thought it?

It was only a little cold.

Mr Barker, how's it going?

Not so good, I'm afraid.

This hotel's in a terrible state. I'm surprised the old thing's still standing.

It's bad news, Jamie.

Oh, it's that awful doctor.

That all boiler's had it. I'm surprised the old girl's still going.

It's terminal, I'm afraid.

Oh, my. He says I'm going to die!

Is there nothing we can do?

No. That's the trouble with these ancient models - the slightest thing can finish them off.

-It's only a matter of days until she packs up completely.

-Oh!

It's the end.

# Now the end is near

# And so I face

# The final curtain... #

I want a real feeling of freshness in here.

You know, ambitious colours, spring shades, a hint of apple, a sprinkle of cherry blossom.

I've got gloss white.

Yeah, that'll be all right, I guess.

LENNY SNORES

Lenny, what's all this rubbish doing here? I told you to put in the skip.

-But I've just...!

-Get it out!

These men are waiting to do their work.

I'm sorry about this.

Oh, General.

Have I led a good life?

All I've done is travel the world,

lived in hotels,

discovered lost civilisations,

fought crime,

climbed mountains, and battled the forces of evil.

But is it enough?

-Or have I wasted my life?

-CAT MIAOWS

Oh, Serious, don't cry.

I must put my affairs in order.

I can at least do one good deed...

..before

I go.

# And now the end is near

# And so I face

# The final curtain... #

COUGHING

So, we'll do the gig in the lobby and this is where we're storing all of your equipment, and there'll be

hundreds of girls out there, but of course you'll only have eyes for me.

Hey!

No licking the band!

Where's our equipment? What did you do with our stuff, you freak?

Lenny!

Lenny!

Lenny!

Yes, Sally?

What have you done with the band's equipment?

-Well, Jamie said to...

-I don't care what Jamie said.

I told you to store it in here and I'm the manager, aren't I?

-Well...

-Yeah, I am. So, go on, bring it back in.

Right.

Sorry about that.

And the licking, it's a management thing.

Lenny, what are you doing? I told you to get rid of that rubbish.

Please don't make me move it again. It's too heavy.

Don't carry it, just throw it in the skip from here.

Look. Like this.

Like that. Come on. I'll help you.

What are you doing?!

You better have a good explanation for this.

Who are you? This hotel is closed for refurbishment.

Come on. No guests. Off you go.

We ain't going nowhere. And this hotel ain't closed.

If that's the case, perhaps you'd like to take a look at this sign.

Who changed this sign? Change it back again.

-Don't touch that sign, Lenny.

-Lenny, as your manager, I order you...

I'm the manager!

Huh! I think you'll find it's me.

-I think you find it's me.

-Right. That's it. You're suspended.

No. You're suspended.

You're suspended for impersonating a manager.

Well, you're suspended for suspending me.

Well, you can't suspend me because I've suspended you and you

don't have the power to suspend me even if you could. Which you can't.

-So you're suspended.

-Can I be suspended, please? I need a rest.

Look, which one of you crazy punks is in charge of this joint?

-I am.

-No, I am.

Well, sort of, anyway.

I am in charge of organising you lot, so what is going on?

You said I was in charge.

Did I? I don't remember that.

Yes, you did. Think back.

OK.

Oh, that would be great. I was just thinking the hotel could do with a full-time cleaner.

That can be you, if you're up for the job.

Oh, I see. You meant the job of cleaner.

And you thought I meant the job of the manager!

Imagine that mix-up.

Oh, gosh. That could have caused all sorts of farcical confusion.

It did. I mean, it will do.

Well, now we've got all that cleared up, let's leap forward to the present.

I think we've gone a bit too far forward.

Look at JLZ!

Stand back from the skeletons, lady.

Lenny, how come you're not old?

I'm not Lenny. I'm my grandson.

OK. Come on.

Let's rewind.

But that still doesn't explain why I thought I was manager.

-OK, OK, well, look, let's just go back again...

-No, no.

Let's just take it for granted that it was another mix-up, yeah?

I'm sorry for thinking that I was manager and trying to suspend you, Jamie.

I'm sorry for thinking I was manager and trying to suspend you.

Yeah. And I'm sorry, too.

-Why are you sorry?

-I don't know. I'm confused.

Let's agree to never think that we're manager again.

Isn't it lovely?

Everyone's sorted everything out.

The heck it is! You still owe me for smashing all my equipment.

And the booking fee.

And my band are still skeletons.

# Hope I die before I get old... #

At least my spots have gone.

That will be £8 million.

-But you're from Cut Price Celebrities?

-We are.

You want to see what JLS charge for being turned into skeletons.

Right. That's the repairs and renovations done.

Your bill comes to £1 million.

-No, no. We can't pay that sort of money.

-What are we going to do?

There's only one option - we're just going to have to close the hotel.

I see you've heard my tragic news.

Now, there must be no tears.

All good things must come to an end.

It's only natural. Now, there is one task I have yet to complete.

You've all been such good friends to me

at Hotel Trubble

that I couldn't leave this mortal plane

without bequeathing you my entire fortune.

£9 million.

What?!

Now, to make things simple,

I've put one million in this bag and eight million in this one.

-Thank you very much.

-About time.

Come on, boys. Let's get you down the gym.

Oh, wicked.

Bagsie's the rowing machine! HE LAUGHS

I'm going to lift some weights.

Yeah, I'm in a band!

Why did the doctor take my £1 million?

That's not a doctor. He came to fix the boiler.

The boiler?!

He's not a...

The boiler! Then I'm not going to die. I'm not going to die.

I'm so happy!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I'm not going to die! I'm not going to die!

Wait a minute.

I'm not going to die...

and I've given away all my money.

I'm ruined.

I shall be cast out into the streets.

Oh, what is to become of me?

Oh, Mrs P, don't worry. You can still stay here.

Is that OK?

Oh, yes, I suppose she can.

Oh, that would be marvellous. Thank you.

But how will I pay my way?

I know. You can work here.

Can I? Can I really? That would be absolutely splendid.

That is a great idea because we are still looking for a full-time cleaner anyway.

A cleaner! Is there nothing else?

Oh.

Very well.

Cleaner it is. Come along, Serious.

Follow me to the broom cupboard.

Tonight we feast on jammy dodgers.

I'll help you get settled in, Mrs P.

Well, there's nothing like a quiet first day to ease yourself into a new job, is there?

Don't you worry, though.

I've got loads of great ideas to liven up this place.

PHONE RINGS

Hotel Trubble!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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