When Hally Met Sally Hotel Trubble


When Hally Met Sally

Children's sitcom. Sally's old school rival Hally arrives and soon starts bossing everyone around; Sally has to do something before Hally takes over the hotel.


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Transcript


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'Welcome to Hotel Trubble. Meet Sally, our receptionist.'

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People! Trying to have a conversation here.

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'And this is Lenny.

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'He's a man of many talents.

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'This is Dolly, she's Mr Trubble's...ahem...fiance.

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'And this is Mrs Poshington, the new cleaner.'

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Which just leaves me, Jamie.

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I'm the bellboy.

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# Hotel Trubble forever

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# It's the pits and we know we're stuck but we love it

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# Hotel Trubble forever

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# We're a team staying calm arm in arm

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# So the hotel survives Trubble, Trubble!

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# Keep the hotel alive. #

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Er, Mrs Poshington,

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why are you throwing away our towels?

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Too much washing.

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The guests could use the hairdryers to dry themselves with instead.

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Yes, but water and electricity don't really mix, do they?

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Nonsense.

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CRACKLING, SCREAMING FROM ABOVE

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Oh, is that the time?

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-What's all this?

-For the vips.

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Not the vips, Lenny, VIPs. Very Important Persons.

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Every hotel should have a luxury VIP service, Jamie, don't you know?

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What have ropes and rugs got to do with luxury?

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That's what VIPs expect.

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Cheryl Cole won't want to stay in just any hotel, will she?

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No. She wants to stay in a hotel

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where there's a fancy red carpet to walk on.

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Why is Lenny wearing rollerblades?

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Oh, so we can provide the guests our express service.

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-That was my idea.

-Yeah. One dong on the gong

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and Lenny will be there in a heartbeat.

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-Yeah...ooof!

-That's the plan at least.

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One dong on what gong?

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This one.

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VERY LOUD BONG

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Now, everybody ready?

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-Ready for what?

-I've arranged for a journalist from Swish magazine

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to come and review the hotel.

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Hang on a minute. Is that why you're making all these changes?

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If you were any sharper, you'd cut yourself.

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Of course that's why I'm making all these changes.

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Now, you lot had better smarten up and make this hotel look swish,

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-they're going to be here very soon.

-How soon?

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-Oh, two or three...

-Days?

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-Hours.

-No way!

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You can't just spring that on us, Dolly. We need time to prepare.

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Ooh! Did I mention that one favourable review in Swish magazine

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is equal to a 100% rise in business,

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which means a significant pay rise for all of you?

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PHONE RINGS

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Hello, Hotel King Jamie?

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Hello!

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Like I said, let's get cracking, boys and girls!

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Yeah! Ooof!

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Ha ha ha ha ha!

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Somebody's made an effort.

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It's for the journalist.

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I hope it's a gorgeous guy,

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then I can win him over with my feminine charm.

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Yeah? I hope it's a gorgeous woman

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cos then I can win her over with my feminine charms.

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-They're here.

-I'll get it!

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-I'll get it!

-No, I'll get it. I'll get it, I'll get it!

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Sally!

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Hally?!

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BARKING

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That's Tiddles.

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-Say hello, Tiddles.

-Hello, Tiddles!

-Hello, Tiddles.

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Sally, what are you doing?

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It's Hally Hornfurter, my ex-best friend from school.

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If we ignore her, maybe she'll go away.

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Drat!

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Get out of the way!

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You must be the journalist from Swish magazine,

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here to review the hotel.

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-If I say yes, do I get a free bed and breakfast?

-Of course.

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Well, then, yes, I am the journalist from Swish magazine,

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here to review the hotel.

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Noooo!

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Have we got anything to wake her up with?

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-A sledge hammer.

-No! I meant something like smelling salts.

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Oh, smelly socks. There we go.

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Oh, no. I said... Oh, never mind.

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That water should do the trick. Give it to Sally.

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SHE SQUEALS

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I meant give it to her to drink!

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Sally, why have you got such a problem with Hally?

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She's a bully and she's selfish and spoilt and always wants her own way.

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-That sounds like someone not too far away from me.

-Lenny's not that bad.

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I'm telling you, Jamie, she's trouble.

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-That girl took away from me the only thing I ever loved.

-Gossip magazine?

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No! Bertie, the butterfly hairclip my first boyfriend gave me.

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Wait, all this is over a hairclip?

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I'm sentimental.

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She isn't, she can't even remember my name! It's Brian, not Bertie.

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Look, Sally, if she gives us a good review,

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that means a really big pay rise.

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Can't you just put your differences aside for one day?

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No. That girl is rotten to the core, Jamie.

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Maybe she's changed.

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And maybe I'm Beyonce's choreographer.

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Are you really? I know all the moves to Single Ladies.

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# If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it

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# If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it

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# Don't be mad once you see that he want it... #

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-Hello. Sorry about the delay. Welcome to Hotel Trubble.

-Thank you.

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Well, we haven't been introduced properly yet, have we?

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I'm Hally, and you must be the owner of the hotel?

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Oh, no. No, I'm Jamie, the bell...

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the executive bellboy.

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Ah, yes. Yes, I knew there was something special about you.

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It's the way you hold yourself, yes?

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Masterful.

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Please.

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So, did Sally tell you we used to be bestest friends?

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Well, that's not quite how she put it.

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Yeah.

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We did have a teeny-weeny falling out.

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Sorry...

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I, um...

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You know, I just...I just wish there was a way I could make it up to her.

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Well, I, er... I might have a suggestion.

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Sally, be reasonable.

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Fate has brought us together.

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Well, fate can bog off.

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We were so close.

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-You were the guest of honour at my 10th birthday party.

-I remember.

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MUSIC: "Bugaboo" by Destiny's Child

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MUSIC STOPS

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I win!

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SALLY WAILS

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Let me make it up to you.

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It's my birthday today, you could be guest of honour at that.

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-MOCKING:

-No, thanks!

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Look, what if I showed you just how much I've changed?

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And how are you going to do that?

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I should never have taken Bertie.

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Yeah, you're right, you shouldn't have.

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But I'm Brian! Brian! Brian!

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-Truce?

-Truce.

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Oh, darling, don't touch there, you know the rules.

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# So no-one told you life was gonna be this way... #

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Whoo-oo!

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So...when will the review be in Swish magazine?

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-SHE GIGGLES

-Steady on, it's not finished yet.

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But I thought you loved your room

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and the VIP service, the express service...

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Yes, I do, Dolly, but you know, to get a really good review,

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there are a few extras one expects I'm not sure Hotel Trubble has.

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-Like what?

-Um... A pooch pamper parlour for a start.

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Do you have one of those?

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Yes! It's on the, er... the third floor.

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Really? Maybe you wouldn't mind giving Tiddles the once over.

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GROWLING

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Oh, he only bites if you make sudden movements

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or breathe too heavily, and he won't draw blood, if you're lucky.

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-GROWLING AND BARKING

-It's all part of the service.

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So, um...what have you written in your review so far?

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This and that, you know, mostly about a certain member of staff.

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A very handsome and talented young man

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who deserves a big fat promotion.

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Here here. I always said Lenny deserved a leg up.

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Yes, thank you, Mrs Poshington. Cheers.

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Well, I'd better get off, got lots of executive bellboy things to do

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so, um...

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I'm going to go.

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Oh...

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Jamie, the television's not working. Jamie!

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Excuse me, sweetie pie.

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Hello, Hotel Trubble?

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Could you ask Hally what kind of shampoo she likes to use on Tiddles?

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Why don't you ask her yourself?

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Because I'm stopping the little angel from escaping from the bath.

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I can't possibly hold it like this all day.

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Shut it, old woman! I'm trying to watch Eastenders.

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Your miserable whining

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is interrupting their miserable whining.

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I don't have to put up with this, you know!

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You put that aerial down,

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and I will write the worst review this hotel has ever had.

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Then it will close and you will be homeless.

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You wouldn't dare!

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Just try me.

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-Doof, doof, doof, doof-doof-doof...

-SHE LAUGHS

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What are you writing?

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Nothing. Er...

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"Hotel manager?"

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Well, could be. You know, if we get a good review in Swish magazine.

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But we all need to pull together and take care of our special guest.

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In fact,

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I'm going to ask Chef if he'll make her one of our special lunches.

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Get out, man! SMASHING AND BANGING

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You want a little piece of that? You want me to burn you with a sausage?

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A saucisson?!

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Says it will be ready in a minute.

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One lump or two?

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Three. I'm not as sweet as I look.

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THEY ALL LAUGH

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-That's funny.

-What are you doing on those steps, Mrs P?

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Oh, she likes it up there, don't you, dear?

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You can come back down now and finish your work.

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She's a few sandwiches short of a picnic!

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Here's little Tiddles, groomed to perfection.

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Oh, my precious baby. Did he behave for you?

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Yes, only a few bites.

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Nothing to worry about, just flesh wounds.

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Milk?

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-Is it fresh?

-Of course. Only the best for our guests.

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Oooh!

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Top me up.

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-That was quick.

-Yes, I think I'll take it black this time.

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Right. There we go.

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And your sugar.

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-Lenny!

-Oh, you...funny little man. It's not a problem.

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# Put some sugar on me

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# In the name of love

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# Pour some sugar on me

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# Come on, fire me up

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# Pour your sug... #

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Do you mind?

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Not in the slightest.

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OK?

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Mrs Poshington?

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Yes, I think you should consider getting a more competent cleaner.

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-Any chance of a scone?

-Of course.

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Sally, give one to Hally.

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My pleasure.

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Sorry, Lenny!

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-How dare you?!

-Have you gone mad?

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Well, I must have, to think that she'd ever change!

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Come here!

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I'll save you, Hally!

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SHOUTING

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-Sally.

-Hally.

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Oh, I've just got to go and see a man about a frog.

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No, I mean dog. No, I do mean frog.

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-There's a lovely little green one for sale...

-Go away!

-Go away!

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You little rat!

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You got crumbs in my beautiful hair. You know the rules.

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-You haven't changed one bit, have you?

-No, not really.

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But what about Bertie the hairclip?

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Jamie told me to give it to you.

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And by the way, butterflies are so 2005,

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it's all about Delbert the dragonfly. Hmm, yes? Look, look.

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Which, quite frankly, are much more, well, me.

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His name is David.

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Shut it, Billy.

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It's Brian! CRASH!

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So it was all an act. Why?

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I needed a place to stay for free.

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-Duh.

-But I thought you were a fancy journalist now?

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Oh, get with the programme, please, darling. I made it all up.

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I told the real journo not to bother coming.

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You scheming little... I knew you were up to something.

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Sally? Office.

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Pronto.

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Right, we need an emergency meeting.

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-What makes an emergency meeting different to a normal one?

-This.

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-What are you playing at, Sally?

-Have you gone bananas?

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-You attacked a guest.

-She deserved it.

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Neither of you know what a conniving little madam she is.

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I think that might be someone who's not too far away from me.

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Jamie's not that bad.

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Duty calls.

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I'd better go and make up for the damage you've caused.

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VERY LOUD BONG

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See? Hally's got you running around after her just how she likes it.

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Oh! Now I understand.

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-You're jealous of her.

-No, I'm not!

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You can't stand it because we like her and she likes us.

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In fact, you hate it because she thinks we're management material

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and we're going places once this review is published.

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-SPLUTTERS ANGRILY

-Yeah!

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Can't you see she's pulling the wool over your eyes?

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Wool? Oh, no, no wool here.

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Looks like you're wrong!

0:16:050:16:07

Hi, Jamie.

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I was wondering, would you give me a tour of the gardens?

0:16:130:16:19

It's for the review. It's almost done, give or take a month.

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-A month?

-Or two. Well, you have to get these things exactly right,

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especially when a certain someone's career depends on it.

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-Allow me.

-Thank you.

-Oh, oh, Jamie...

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Jamie, with your vision, that area, what you could do with it!

0:16:410:16:45

I agree. What are you doing?

0:16:450:16:48

-Hang on.

-Staff only, sorry.

0:16:480:16:52

Sally, you are being incredibly rude.

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Jamie, you are being incredibly stupid.

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What are you talking about?

0:17:020:17:04

You let Lenny take a tumble just so you could go off with that,

0:17:050:17:09

-that monster.

-It's all right, Jamie, it only hurts when I blink.

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Ahh! Ow!

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Look, Lenny, I'm really sorry. But Hally is not a monster, all right?

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She's a kind and generous girl

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who only has everyone's best interests at heart.

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She doesn't have a heart, Jamie.

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Can't you see she's just a spiteful,

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-mean-spirited freeloader and she's taking advantage of you?

-Nonsense.

0:17:300:17:35

Has anyone seen the scissors?

0:17:350:17:37

Hally wants me to trim Tiddles' nails.

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And then Hally's nails.

0:17:430:17:45

-See?

-Dolly, Sally thinks Hally is taking advantage of us.

0:17:450:17:52

Rubbish.

0:17:520:17:53

This is all part of the service.

0:17:530:17:55

It's how we get good review in Swish magazine, you mark my words.

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She doesn't even work for Swish magazine!

0:18:010:18:05

-HE LAUGHS

-Nice try.

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So she hasn't asked you if she can stay on for a bit then?

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-Maybe.

-Ah-ha! She's just using you

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to get free bed and breakfast. She tried it on with me first.

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Nonsense. She needs more time to write the review.

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Well, if she stays, I go.

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-She's staying.

-Well, I'm going.

-Go then.

-Well, I will then.

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Well, if that's what you really want, I can't stop you, Sally.

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Well, I guess that's goodbye then.

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DOOF DOOF DOOF DOOF-DOOF!

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Turn off that TV, Lenny.

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Oh, sorry, Jamie. Ow, ahh!

0:18:400:18:44

-SOMBRE PIANO PLAYS

-I never thought it'd come to this.

0:18:460:18:49

Hotel Trubble is my life.

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Lenny, I'm trying to have a moment here,

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would you quit with the piano, OK?

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What's going to happen to me now I have to leave?

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# All by myself

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# Don't want to be

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# All by myself

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# Any more... #

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It can't be.

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It is! It's Sally.

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Oh, sweetie pie.

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Jamie? Jamie!

0:19:290:19:33

Oh, you stink!

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Ohh! What am I going to do, Lenny?

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I don't know.

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Did you dong on the gong, for the 20th time in an hour?

0:19:510:19:56

I did dong, yes.

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You see, Tiddles' tootsies are a wee bit cold

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now that he's had his nails trimmed

0:20:010:20:03

so I want you to go and pick him up

0:20:030:20:05

a widdle pair of pink woolly socks.

0:20:050:20:07

Socks, you say?

0:20:090:20:10

For a dog. Of course.

0:20:100:20:14

All part of the service.

0:20:140:20:18

Did you dong?

0:20:180:20:20

Dolly's done the dong, yes,

0:20:200:20:22

but while you're here...

0:20:220:20:24

I'd like to thank you so much for sticking up for me against Sally.

0:20:240:20:29

I mean, I really don't know what her problem is these days.

0:20:290:20:32

Well, she won't be troubling you any more.

0:20:320:20:35

She's decided to leave.

0:20:350:20:37

Yes?

0:20:370:20:38

It's a very sad situation.

0:20:380:20:41

Tragic.

0:20:430:20:45

How clever is your mummy, Tiddles?

0:20:460:20:51

I managed to bag us a place to stay for free, got Sally fired

0:20:510:20:54

and that moron Jamie still thinks I work for Swish magazine.

0:20:540:20:58

Yes, I think we could be very comfortable here.

0:20:580:21:01

-Don't you, sweetie pie?

-BARKING

0:21:010:21:04

-Let me at her.

-Is everything all right in here?

0:21:130:21:16

No it's not, Jamie. She's taking you for a ride.

0:21:160:21:19

Sally's right, Jamie.

0:21:190:21:21

I've seen it with my own eyes.

0:21:210:21:23

Well, ears. She's not a real journalist, you know.

0:21:230:21:27

Not you as well, Dolly?

0:21:270:21:29

Anyone can tell that Hally works with words

0:21:290:21:32

from her extensive vocabulary.

0:21:320:21:35

Now, if no-one has an official complaint,

0:21:350:21:38

can you all please stop this nonsense?

0:21:380:21:41

I have an official complaint.

0:21:420:21:44

That girl made me hold up the TV aerial for two hours.

0:21:440:21:50

Then she nearly drowned me in tea and tossed soggy sugar cubes in my face.

0:21:500:21:56

-Is that true, Hally?

-Of course not.

0:21:560:21:58

I would never do something like that on purpose.

0:21:580:22:01

You see, it's just a misunderstanding.

0:22:010:22:03

Now let's all try and get along, shall we?

0:22:030:22:05

I am not prepared to get along with Hally.

0:22:050:22:09

Either she goes or I go.

0:22:090:22:11

Well...

0:22:130:22:15

if you insist on going, Mrs Poshington,

0:22:150:22:17

you know I can't stop you.

0:22:170:22:20

Jamie, you know if Sally and Mrs Poshington go,

0:22:210:22:26

-I go.

-And Lenny.

0:22:260:22:28

But I haven't even seen her do anything wrong yet.

0:22:280:22:31

-Plus I quite like her.

-Lenny!

0:22:310:22:33

Oh, OK, I stand firmly by your side.

0:22:330:22:37

Jamie, I'm so sorry to see your staff are leaving you,

0:22:390:22:43

but I can assure you none of this will go into the review

0:22:430:22:46

if you draw a line under it now.

0:22:460:22:48

Right. Of course.

0:22:480:22:51

I suppose this is it then.

0:22:510:22:54

It was really great working with your guys.

0:22:550:22:58

-I can't believe this.

-I know, we're missing Eastenders omnibus now.

0:23:020:23:08

No. This! We've all lost our jobs

0:23:080:23:11

because of that horrible Hally Hornfurter.

0:23:110:23:14

So now she's finally got what she wanted, hasn't she?

0:23:140:23:17

Yeah, Eastenders all to herself.

0:23:170:23:19

No. The hotel. She's practically running the place now.

0:23:190:23:24

I wish we could think of a way to show Jamie

0:23:240:23:27

just what a fraud she is.

0:23:270:23:29

-GASPS

-I've got it!

0:23:290:23:30

Oh, can I have it?

0:23:300:23:32

DIALS PHONE

0:23:340:23:36

Hello, is that Swish magazine?

0:23:360:23:41

Hi, Jamie. Oh, why the long face?

0:23:430:23:48

I was born with it.

0:23:480:23:50

My mum looks like Bruce Forsyth.

0:23:500:23:52

I'm Jamie's mum. Would you like a cup of tea?

0:23:520:23:55

No, I mean, you're not feeling down, are you?

0:23:550:23:58

I suppose I just miss Sally and Lenny and Dolly and...

0:23:580:24:02

-Mrs Poshington?

-No, I don't miss her.

0:24:020:24:04

-Well, maybe a bit.

-Well, you can always go into the garden.

0:24:040:24:08

You don't have to stay here and get promoted.

0:24:080:24:11

I think what I meant was, we all have to move on at some point.

0:24:110:24:15

It just takes a while getting used to it, you know. That's all.

0:24:150:24:19

That's more like it, sweetie pie.

0:24:190:24:21

Do you know,

0:24:210:24:23

I'm sure you're going to make an incredible hotel manager.

0:24:230:24:28

I'm pretty sure you'll get the call

0:24:280:24:30

when the review comes out in a year or two.

0:24:300:24:32

Hang on a sec,

0:24:320:24:34

did you just say a year or two?

0:24:340:24:35

Oh, I'm sorry, darling. I meant to say 365 days,

0:24:350:24:39

give or take another 365 days.

0:24:390:24:42

Well, I can't stand here chit-chatting all day.

0:24:420:24:46

It's my birthday and I have plans to make.

0:24:460:24:49

I, er... I just hope

0:24:490:24:50

a certain dedicated professional has not forgotten my special day.

0:24:500:24:56

It will all go in the review, of course.

0:24:560:24:58

Of course.

0:24:580:25:00

Hello, madam, how can I help?

0:25:140:25:16

-Hi, I'm here from Swish magazine, I've come to review the hotel.

-What?

0:25:160:25:22

SHE COOS

0:25:220:25:25

# Happy birthday to you

0:25:280:25:33

# Happy birthday to you

0:25:330:25:37

# Happy birthday dear Hally... #

0:25:370:25:42

Chocolate and cream cake. Oh, it's my absolute favourite!

0:25:420:25:46

# Happy birthday to you. #

0:25:460:25:51

Enjoy.

0:25:510:25:53

Oh, oh, oh!

0:25:550:25:58

My beautiful hair!

0:26:020:26:05

You ruined it!

0:26:050:26:07

Do you have any idea how long it takes

0:26:070:26:09

to get these curls perfect, you idiot?

0:26:090:26:12

Why did you do that?

0:26:120:26:13

You don't work for Swish magazine

0:26:130:26:15

and you've made a complete fool out of me.

0:26:150:26:17

I just wanted to see what you were really like, and it ain't pretty.

0:26:170:26:23

ALL: Sweetie pie!

0:26:230:26:25

Where will I go?

0:26:290:26:31

I've got nowhere to stay.

0:26:330:26:35

I have an idea.

0:26:350:26:36

# All by myself... #

0:26:360:26:40

-BARKING

-Oh, shut it, you mangy mutt.

0:26:400:26:42

-RIPPING

-Bad dog! No, no!

0:26:420:26:46

Well, I think we can safely say we will never ask anyone

0:26:490:26:54

to come and review the hotel again.

0:26:540:26:57

-LENNY:

-Oh, these wheels have got to go.

0:27:050:27:08

I'm...I'm sorry I doubted you, Sally.

0:27:120:27:15

Do you forgive me?

0:27:150:27:17

Depends.

0:27:170:27:19

-On what?

-Do you like Hally Hornfurter more than me?

0:27:190:27:24

No, of course not.

0:27:240:27:26

She was really annoying, but you, you're only mildly annoying.

0:27:260:27:32

-You cheeky little...

-PHONE RINGS

0:27:320:27:34

Hello, Hotel Trubble.

0:27:360:27:38

# Hotel Trubble forever

0:27:380:27:41

# It's the pits and we know we're stuck but we love it

0:27:410:27:46

# Hotel Trubble forever

0:27:460:27:48

# We're a team staying calm arm in arm

0:27:480:27:51

So the hotel survives. Trubble, Trubble!

0:27:510:27:54

# Keep the hotel alive. #

0:27:540:27:56

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0:27:560:27:59

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