The Mystery Pong Justin's House


The Mystery Pong

Justin Fletcher entertains children with singing, dancing and comedy. Justin the detective needs to detect where a mystery pong is coming from.


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Transcript


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# Dustin' for Justin

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# Dustin' for Justin

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# Dustin' for Justin in... #

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ALL: ..Justin's House!

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Hello, everybody.

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CHILDREN: Hello!

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And welcome to...

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CHILDREN: ..Justin's House!

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Yes, indeed.

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Oh! Wait. Steady... Got you!

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-STRANGLED YOWLING

-Get in there!

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Get in there! Oh, oh! It's washing day today, you see.

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I am washing all of Justin's clothes. They're a bit of a handful!

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Oh, wait! There's another one. Ready...

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SQUAWKING

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Get in there! It's good for you.

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Oh, oh! You see, they just don't want to be washed.

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SQUAWKING

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Get in there.

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-BLEEPING

-Oh, there's another load done.

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I'd better hang it out to dry before it gets all wrinkly-skrinkly.

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Now, let's see. Oh, yes, here we are.

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Now, Justin's shorts. Very lovely!

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And Justin's scarf with...

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-SQUEAKING

-Wait a minute! Come on.

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Ohh.

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HE GASPS AND STRAINS

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Ohh!

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Stop that. Come on.

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Thank you!

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And Justin's socks.

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One, two...

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Oh! Where's the other one gone?

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Oh, this always seems to happen.

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And they're one of Sir's favourites, too.

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Oh, they must be here somewhere.

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CHILDREN: Justin!

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-Look out!

-Oh, it's you, sir.

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Have you seen your other sock anywhere?

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Oh, never mind. Never mind.

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That's Justin's new book -

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The Mystery Of The Mysterious Mystery.

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It must be good - he's had his head stuck in it all day.

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-Oh, I do wonder where that sock went. It's a mystery.

-Hmm.

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And then the detective shouted, "It's behind you!"

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-Oh, it must be here somewhere.

-Hmm. He said again, "It's behind you!"

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-Oh, where?

-For the last time, he said, "It's behind you."

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BOTH: Ohh!

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CHILDREN LAUGH

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Wait. Wait! What's going on?

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BOTH LAUGH

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-Why are you laughing, Robert?

-You've got pants on your head, sir.

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-Well, so have you!

-Have I?!

-Come on, let's take our pants off.

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-Oh, I'll take mine off.

-There we go. Come on, everyone!

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# We're going to...

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# Shake and grin

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# It's go, go, go, go, go Go, go, go... #

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CHILDREN: Justin!

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Yay! Good to see you! And welcome to...

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CHILDREN: ..Justin's House!

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Wow! Who's ready to sing a song?

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CHILDREN CHEER

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Are you sure?

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CHILDREN: Yes!

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-Well, fire up the old RMP-1 player, Robert.

-Firing up, sir!

-And hit it!

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-Hitting it, sir!

-Come on, everybody, on your feet.

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On your feet! Yay!

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Come on, Robert!

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CHILDREN: Justin's House! Justin's House!

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-Here we go.

-Come on!

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-# Justin's House

-Is the place you want to play in

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-# Justin's House

-You're my special guest today

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-# Justin's House

-Is the place you want to stay in

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# Everybody's welcome here in Justin's House... #

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Yeah!

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# ..There's Robert the robot and Little Monster too

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# And there's someone else We think you know who

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# He's funny and sunny Has a smile on his face

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# It's...Justin!

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# And this is my place! #

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Sing along, everyone!

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-# Justin's House

-Is the place you want to play in

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-# Justin's House

-You're my special guest today

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-# Justin's House

-Is the place you want to stay in

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# Everybody's welcome here in Justin's House! #

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-One more time, Robert?

-Oh, it would be rude not to, sir.

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-# Justin's House

-Is the place you want to play in

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-# Justin's House

-You're my special guest today

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-# Justin's House

-Is the place you want to stay in

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# Everybody's welcome here in Justin's House!

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# Everybody's welcome here in Justin's...

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# Justin's House! #

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-Give yourself a big cheer!

-Well done, everybody!

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Really good!

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-Weren't they fantastic singers?

-Oh, they certainly were, sir.

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-Wonderful.

-Ah, yes! Yes, sorry, everyone.

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I'm just in the middle of reading a very exciting book.

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It's all about a detective solving a mystery. Oh, it's very exciting.

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-Do you mind of I get back to it?

-No, of course, sir.

-Lovely.

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HE TALKS NONSENSE

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..Onto the staircase, and then the detective said,

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"I will solve this mystery if it's the last case I solve!"

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-Follow me.

-His faithful assistant, Robson, then said...

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Now, you just sit there, sir, nice and quiet,

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where I can keep an eye on you.

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Now it's time to make sure Justin's House is tip-top and tidy,

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because you see, my good friend Nina...

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Eurgh! What is that nasty niff?

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-Oh! Oh, sir! Sir!

-What is it, Robert?

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Can't you see I'm trying to read my book?

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I'm very sorry, sir, but there's this terrible...

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Oh, no, wait. It's gone. Oh, my mistake, my mistake.

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Now, where was I? Oh, yes. Tidying. So, you see, my good friend Nina...

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Eurgh!

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Oh, there's that awful pong again! Sir...sir...sir...

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-Get off, get off, get off. Sir.

-Get off!

-Sir! Sir!

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Robert, what are you doing? I'm trying to read my book!

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Can't you smell it, sir? The most awful stink is in Justin's House,

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and I don't know where it's coming from.

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-We have to find it before Nina arrives, sir.

-Ohhh!

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Oh, sir, it's a complete mystery!

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-Mystery, did you say, Robert?

-Oh, completely. I can't seem to find it.

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-I don't know where it's coming from.

-Oh, a mystery!

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A real mystery to solve. I tell you what. I've got a really good idea.

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-I could become a detective, couldn't I?

-CHILDREN: Yes!

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Will you help me be a detective?

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-CHILDREN: Yes!

-OK.

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-Well, Robert, what does a detective need?

-Oh, well, sir.

-Let me see.

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Any ideas? What do you need when you're a detective?

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-Oh, I know sir, I know.

-Yes, of course! A detective's hat.

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Good idea. They need these because they keep their brains warm.

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DOORBELL

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# Who's at the door? Who's at the door?

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# Someone better answer it! #

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-Robert, get the door!

-But can't you get it, sir?

-Of course I can, sir.

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I found that my circuit board... Wait a second!

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-That's YOUR job.

-But, sir...

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-It's another mystery for you to solve. Who IS at the door?

-Oh, yes.

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It's a big mystery. I'm on the trail - ha-ha! - looking for clues.

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Wait a second! Has Robert just tricked me?

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CHILDREN: Yes!

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All right. This time I suppose I can answer. Oh, look, everyone!

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It's Mr Hattrick, the hat-seller. Say hello, everyone!

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CHILDREN: Hello!

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I'm looking for a detective's hat, Mr Hattrick. Can you help me?

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Let's have a think.

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I'll just take that... Whoa!

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Oh, thank you.

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Wait, hang on.

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Thank you. I'll just pick that one...

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Ohh! Very good, but I don't think that's the right...

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What about that one, everyone? No! This one? No!

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This one? No! This one? No. No, no, this isn't working.

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-Have you go anything else?

-Let's have a look. How about one of these?

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Oh, look!

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Whoo!

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-Hey! What do you think, everyone?

-CHILDREN: No!

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-That's more for the beach, sir, not detecting.

-I'm sorry, Mr Hattrick.

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-How's about this one?

-Let's have a go.

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-What do you think, everyone?

-CHILDREN: No!

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-It's too small, sir.

-All right, something too small there.

-This one?

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A-ha! Ooh! Let's have a go with this one. Whoa...

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Whoa-whoa...

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CHILDREN CHEER

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-Is that one all right? Yeah?

-Perfect.

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Thank you so much, Mr Hattrick. A big round of applause!

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Thank you very much.

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Look at that.

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Right, I'm ready for some detective work.

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-Good, sir, because the stench is getting worse. Please!

-I'm on it!

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Robert, what are we detecting again?

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Oh, we're detecting where the pong is coming from before Nina arrives.

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-Yes, of course. Don't worry - I'm on it!

-Oh, good.

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-Hang on!

-Oh, bad.

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Robert, something's missing.

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-I need something else to be a detective.

-Oh, oh!

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Oh, pick me, pick me!

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-Pick me, pick me, pick me, pick me!

-Anyone know?

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CHILDREN SHOUT OUT

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Yes, yes. All right. The robot at the back.

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Yes, well... Oh, sorry, yes. Yes, it's a magnifying glass.

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-What is it, everyone?

-CHILDREN: A magnifying glass!

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Yes, it makes teeny-tiny clues look bigger.

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I see. How am I going to find a magnifying glass?

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-Can you help me?

-Well, you've got the detecting hat, sir.

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-Can't you could detect one?

-CHILDREN SHOUT OUT

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Where?

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There?

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Ah, you're right. Little Monster's got a magnifying glass.

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-Well done, everybody.

-Can I borrow that, please? Ohhh!

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-Oh, where is she? Shout out if you can see her.

-Where is she?

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-She's there, sir.

-There she is!

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-Oh, she's quick.

-Where is she?

-Oh! Get her!

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I've got it, I've got it!

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I can't see her anywhere.

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-CHILDREN SHOUT OUT

-Get her!

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Whoa!

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JUSTIN GRUNTS

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Oh, sir, are you all right?

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Ohh... Yes, I'm fine. I've just got a sore botty, that's all.

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CHILDREN GIGGLE

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Let's see if this works.

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Agh! Agh! Oh, wow! Everyone looks HUGE!

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Even the people right at the back! This is amazing!

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Robert, try this out. It's... Argh!

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-A big silver monster's after me! Run!

-No, no, no! Sir, it's me.

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It was just the magnifying glass making my excellent face look big.

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-Was it?!

-Oh, yes.

-Huh? Ah! Huh? Ah! Huh? Ah!

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Huh? Ah! Oh, yes!

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Yes, I knew that, of course. I'm a great detective, aren't I?

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-Yes. Yes, sir.

-Well, I've got my hat

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and I've got my magnifying glass,

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so let's see if we can find the mystery pong.

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-Very good, sir.

-Stay close.

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JAZZY MUSIC PLAYS

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-Argh! What are you doing?

-I'm staying close, sir.

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-Not THAT close.

-Oh, right.

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-Robert?

-Yes, sir?

-Agh!

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CHILDREN LAUGH

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-Don't do that!

-I'm sorry, sir.

-I don't know.

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-Now, listen...

-HE SNIFFS

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I can smell something whiffy and pongy. Bleurgh!

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Hang on a minute!

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I've found it! The case is solved, everyone.

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It's a custard pie.

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-BOTH: Phwoar!

-Look, everyone!

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I wonder who it belongs to.

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-Do you know?

-Who?

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CHILDREN SHOUT OUT

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Agh! Robert, it's a giant green monster. It's going to eat me!

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No, no, no. Sir, it's just Little Monster.

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No, Robert, I... Duh? Oh! Duh? Oh! Duh? Oh!

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Oh, yeah!

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Yes, of course I, um, I knew that,

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being a great detective.

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It doesn't matter, because that stinky pie was not as smelly

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-as the smelly smell we've been smelling.

-You're right.

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There's a whiffy wonder coming from over there.

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-Let's have a look, shall we?

-Yes.

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I think it's coming from over by the sofa.

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Let's take a look!

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D'ah! It's a giant, giant cheese.

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It's going to attack me, Robert!

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Hang on! It's just Little Monster.

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With a little lump of cheese.

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Little Monster, what are you doing?

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You've just started a stinky stuff collection?

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What? Of all the days to start a stinky stuff collection!

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We can't have any more stinky things when Nina gets here.

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CHILDREN SCREAM

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-Oh, I can smell it from over here. Ohh!

-Oh, dear.

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Look, everyone, it's a stinky welly. I mean...pah!

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Ohh!

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Oh, smell that!

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-Oh! Oh, no!

-Whoever this welly belongs to

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has got the stinkiest feet

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in Justin's House!

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CHILDREN SHOUT OUT

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Yes, yes.

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Sir. Sir, I, um, I don't know how to break this to you,

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but it's your welly.

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How do you know that, Robert?

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Because it's got a J on it, sir. J for Justin.

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Oh, yes. Well, it could stand for... Jobert.

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Sir!

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All right, it's my welly.

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-We need to get rid of it, sir.

-Yes. What are we going to do?

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-The monster! No!

-Come back here.

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You're turning my lovely clean house into a palace of pong.

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Can you see her, anybody?

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-Oh!

-Oh! Robert, the smell coming from...

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I don't think Little Monster's going to give up her stinky collection.

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Now, Little Monster, could you, please,

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keep all of your stinky stuff down in your den, please?

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-Ah, thank you, Little Monster.

-BOTH: Ah...

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-That's better. The smell's gone.

-Yeah...

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Oh, no, the smell's back, sir.

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-Oh, no, it's still there!

-Really?

-PHONE RINGS

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-Where's the phone?

-Has anyone seen the phone?

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-Where?

-Phone! No, no.

-Might be over here.

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Hang on. Hello!

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No!

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-Hang on, I think I've found it.

-You got it? Oh, very good.

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Yes, I'll just PLUNGE right in.

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Ahem. Hello, Justin's House.

0:15:490:15:51

Great Detective Justin speaking.

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-GARBLED SPEECH ON "PHONE"

-It's Nina!

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Hello, Nina.

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GARBLED SPEECH CONTINUES

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You're coming over right away?

0:16:010:16:03

-Ohhh...

-Robert's really happy about that.

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I'll see you soon, Nina.

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OK. I love you, too.

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Oh, Robert, did you hear that?

0:16:110:16:14

-Nina's coming over right now!

-I know, and the house still smells.

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What are we going to do?

0:16:180:16:20

What if she thinks it's me that's stinky?

0:16:200:16:23

-There's only one thing for it, sir!

-Hang on a minute.

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No need to hit the panic button, Robert.

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I, Detective Justin, will find about this mystery pong

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-before Nina arrives.

-DOORBELL

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# Who's at the door? Who's at the door?

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# Someone better answer it! #

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-Robert, get the door.

-I can't get it. It's Nina.

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You're right. OK. Don't worry. I have a plan, everyone. It's genius!

0:16:460:16:51

Quick, hide behind here and I'll show you what I'm going to do.

0:16:510:16:54

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

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OK. Ahem.

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-We're not in!

-That's it(?) That's the best you've got?

0:16:580:17:02

-DOORBELL

-I'll handle this.

0:17:020:17:04

-He said, we're not in.

-That's what I...

-I panicked.

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Oh, hello, everyone!

0:17:090:17:11

CHILDREN CHEER

0:17:110:17:13

Are you having fun today?

0:17:130:17:15

CHILDREN: Yes!

0:17:150:17:18

Oh, if this is Justin's House, then where's Justin?

0:17:180:17:22

CHILDREN SHOUT OUT

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Here? Up the back, here? OK.

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Oh!

0:17:270:17:28

LOUD KNOCKING

0:17:280:17:30

-Robert, what are you doing down there?

-Nothing.

0:17:300:17:33

I just dropped my... Justin.

0:17:330:17:36

Wait...

0:17:360:17:38

Oh, hi, Nina.

0:17:380:17:40

Lovely to see you. We were just playing hide-and-seek.

0:17:400:17:44

Ooh! My smell neuron is detecting a terrible smell. Ohh!

0:17:440:17:49

I'm sorry, Nina. There's a mystery pong in Justin's House today.

0:17:490:17:53

-And I've been a detective trying to solve the mystery.

-He can't find it.

0:17:530:17:57

-It's my first case!

-Ooh, a mystery smell.

0:17:570:18:00

I do love solving a good mystery. What you need to do

0:18:000:18:04

is think back to the first time you smelled the smell.

0:18:040:18:07

-You need to rewind, as it were.

-That's OK.

0:18:070:18:11

-Robert's got a rewind button.

-Yes, sir. Rewinding now.

0:18:110:18:15

THEIR SPEECH IS DISTORTED

0:18:150:18:18

Robert! I've finished rewinding!

0:18:460:18:48

I've still got to go backwards up the... I think they get the joke.

0:18:480:18:51

I'm nearly ready.

0:18:510:18:53

OK. Right. So we're back at the beginning.

0:18:530:18:56

Let's consider the evidence.

0:18:560:18:58

What caused the smell? Robert, you were in the bedroom?

0:18:580:19:02

Yes, doing the washing.

0:19:020:19:04

Justin, you were in the library?

0:19:040:19:06

-Yes, I was reading my detective...

-Whoo!

0:19:060:19:09

The mysterious mystery of the smelly sock! Ohh!

0:19:090:19:12

This is what's causing the pong!

0:19:120:19:15

The missing sock, sir. What's it doing in your book?

0:19:150:19:19

I didn't have a bookmark so I thought I'd use one of my old socks.

0:19:190:19:23

The ones I've never washed.

0:19:230:19:24

Quickly, let's get it clean.

0:19:240:19:26

Nina, take it over there.

0:19:260:19:28

-Ooh! Ooh!

-No!

0:19:280:19:30

-I don't think it wants to be washed.

-A bit like its owner, then.

0:19:300:19:34

Yes, I agree... Wait a second! I heard that.

0:19:340:19:36

ALL SCREAM AND SHOUT

0:19:360:19:39

Don't worry. I've got an idea.

0:19:400:19:43

-You go over there and creep up on it.

-Come on, Nina.

-I'm coming.

0:19:430:19:47

To flush it out. I've done this a lot with Justin's washing.

0:19:470:19:51

It normally hides under the sofa.

0:19:510:19:53

We need to send it towards Justin.

0:19:530:19:55

Oh, go on, you!

0:19:550:19:57

-I've got it.

-Have you got it, sir? Keep a good hold!

0:19:570:20:00

-It's struggling.

-Are you there?

-I've got it.

0:20:000:20:03

-All right, sir.

-Into the washing machine.

0:20:030:20:06

One, two, three...go!

0:20:060:20:08

Well done, sir.

0:20:080:20:10

-LOUD CLANGING

-It really doesn't want to be washed.

0:20:100:20:13

-It's coming!

-Ooh!

-Sir!

0:20:130:20:15

Quick! Nina!

0:20:150:20:17

THEY CHEER

0:20:170:20:19

Ohh...ohh... Well, at least the smell has gone.

0:20:190:20:24

I'm so happy I feel like singing.

0:20:240:20:26

Ooh, that's a great idea, Robert. Come on, everyone.

0:20:260:20:31

-Are you going to join in, Nina?

-I'd love to.

-Who wants to sing a song?

0:20:310:20:34

CHILDREN CHEER

0:20:340:20:36

-There you go.

-My lucky old RMP-1 player, Robert.

0:20:360:20:39

-Firing up, sir.

-And hit it!

-Hitting it!

0:20:390:20:42

JAZZY MUSIC PLAYS

0:20:420:20:45

We're going to be detectives, everyone,

0:20:450:20:48

so hold your magnifying glass up.

0:20:480:20:51

# I spy, I spy with my little eye

0:20:510:20:54

# What do you spy with your little eye?

0:20:540:20:58

# I spy, I spy with my little eye

0:20:580:21:02

# Something that's green and likes to hide

0:21:020:21:06

# She's green and likes to hide and likes custard pies

0:21:060:21:09

# What do I spy with my little eye? #

0:21:090:21:12

Come on, everyone!

0:21:120:21:13

# We're seeking high We're seeking low

0:21:130:21:16

# We're seeking fast We're seeking slow

0:21:160:21:20

# We're seeking all around until we've found

0:21:200:21:24

# The thing you spy with your little eye... #

0:21:240:21:28

-Hmm.

-Very good.

-Yes.

0:21:280:21:30

Now, everybody, did you spy what Justin spied?

0:21:300:21:33

She's green, she likes to hide.

0:21:330:21:36

Who is it?

0:21:360:21:38

Little Monster - exactly right.

0:21:380:21:40

We spied you, Little Monster. Now it's your turn. What do you spy?

0:21:400:21:44

Right, OK.

0:21:440:21:46

# I spy, I spy with my little eye

0:21:460:21:50

# What do you spy with your little eye?

0:21:500:21:53

# I spy, I spy with my little eye

0:21:530:21:58

# Something that splats A messy surprise

0:21:580:22:01

# It splats on the face Mess all over the place

0:22:010:22:05

# And that's what I spy with my little eye

0:22:050:22:08

# We're seeking high We're seeking low

0:22:080:22:12

# We're seeking fast We're seeking slow

0:22:120:22:15

# We're seeking all around until we've found

0:22:150:22:19

# The thing you spy with your little eye. #

0:22:190:22:23

OK, so we've got Little Monster and a custard pie.

0:22:230:22:26

-Yes.

-That could be very messy in Justin's House.

0:22:260:22:30

We've got to find Little Monster and that pie.

0:22:300:22:33

Shout out if you see her, everyone.

0:22:330:22:35

Search the house!

0:22:350:22:37

# We're seeking high We're seeking low

0:22:370:22:40

# We're seeking fast We're seeking slow

0:22:400:22:44

# We're seeking all around until we've found

0:22:440:22:47

# The thing you spy with your little eye. #

0:22:470:22:50

-Oh, I wonder what it can be.

-Ohh!

0:22:500:22:53

CHILDREN LAUGH

0:22:530:22:56

Ohh!

0:22:560:22:57

-It was a custard pie! Of course.

-Yes!

0:22:570:23:01

Oh, never mind. Listen, everyone, have you had a good time today?

0:23:010:23:05

CHILDREN: Yes!

0:23:050:23:07

Let's have a huge cheer for our special guest, Nina!

0:23:070:23:12

CHILDREN CHEER

0:23:120:23:14

Detective Robert!

0:23:140:23:17

Thank you very much!

0:23:170:23:19

Sherlock Little Monster!

0:23:190:23:21

Hurray!

0:23:210:23:23

And of course, the biggest cheer for you!

0:23:230:23:27

CHILDREN CHEER

0:23:270:23:29

And we'll see you next time in...

0:23:290:23:32

CHILDREN: ..Justin's House!

0:23:320:23:34

Bye-bye!

0:23:340:23:36

Bye, everybody!

0:23:360:23:37

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:23:500:23:53

Justin Fletcher entertains a live audience of children with singing, dancing and comedy chaos. He is helped by Robert the robot butler, Little Monster and unicycling delivery lady, Dee Livery.

Robert's favourite scientist, Nina, is coming to visit Justin's house. Before the visitor arrives, Justin the detective needs to detect where a mystery pong is coming from.


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