Posh Nosh Justin's House


Posh Nosh

Justin Fletcher entertains with singing, dancing and comedy. Robert cannot get Justin's Cake-a-Pulter Hundred Thousand to work. This is a job for Roberta the robot.


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Transcript


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ALL: Yeah!

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CHEERING

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# Duh-duh-duh-duh! #

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Ooh, hello!

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# A dustin' for Justin

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# A dustin' for Justin

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# A dustin' for Justin in... #

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ALL: Justin's House!

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Hello, everybody!

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CHILDREN: Hello!

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Well, that's Justin's House nice and tidy.

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But am I nice and tidy? Let's have a look, shall we?

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Oh, yes, very tidy, yes, very smart.

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Yes, mm.

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# Everybody's welcome here in Justin's House... #

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CHILDREN CHEER

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Hello, everybody!

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CHILDREN: Hello!

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Has anyone seen Robert anywhere?

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CHILDREN: There!

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Oh, there he is! Hi, Robert!

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Oh, yes, good.

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Oh, hang on a minute, ssh. Let's play a trick on Robert, shall we?

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CHILDREN: Yes!

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Well, I think I look totally tip-top and tidy. Oh, yes...

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BOTH: Very smart, not a speck of dust.

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I look... Eh!

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Wait a second...

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Oh! Coddle me cogs! I thought the mirror was Justin.

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No, I must be wrong. Now, where was I? Oh, yes.

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BOTH: Hair, smart. Bow-tie, very smart.

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Shoes... Eh!

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Wait a second...

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This is the strangest mirror.

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When I look into it, I sometimes look like Justin.

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I know - maybe the other side works better.

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DOING! Ow!

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This mirror even sounds like Justin.

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-Ooh, Robert!

-Yes, Mirror?

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-Er...it is me.

-I know.

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-Good.

-Yes, you're a mirror that sounds and looks like Justin.

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What? Oh...

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-Oh!

-Hello!

-Hello!

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You see? It is me, it's Justin!

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Are you ready to...?

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# Wriggle your bottom

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# Shake and grin

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# It's Ju-Ju-Ju, Ju-Ju-Ju-Ju

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# Ju-Ju-Ju-Ju...Justin! #

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-Ha-ha!

-Very good.

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Is everybody ready to sing?

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CHILDREN: Yeah!

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-Fantastic. Well, how's the old RMP1 player?

-Primed for hitting, sir.

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-Well... Hit it!

-Yes.

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-DING-DONG

-Come on, everyone.

-Here we go!

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-CHILDREN: # Justin's House... #

-Yeah, all right!

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-# Justin's House... #

-Let's see you bopping up and down.

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-# Justin's House... #

-Yeah! Here we go!

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-# Justin's House!

-The place you want to play in

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-# Justin's House!

-You're my special guests today!

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-# Justin's House!

-It's the place you want to stay in

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# Everybody's welcome here in Justin's House

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DING-DING-DONG!

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# There's Robert the Robot

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# And Little Monster too

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# And someone else We think you know who

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# He's funny and sunny Has a smile on his face

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# He's...Justin! #

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Yay!

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-# ..And this is my place... # Sing along!

-Let's hear you.

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# ..Justin's House!

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-# It's the place you want to play in

-Justin's House!

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-# You're my special guests today

-Justin's House!

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# It's the place you want to stay in Everybody's welcome here in...

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# Justin's House!

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DING-DING-DONG!

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# We sing here and dance here Play silly games, too

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# But it wouldn't be fun if it wasn't for you!

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# You're funny and sunny Put a smile on my face

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# You're...brilliant!

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# You really are ace! #

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-Sing along, everyone!

-Here we go.

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-# ..Justin's House!

-It's the place you want to play in

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-# Justin's House!

-You're my special guests today

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-# Justin's House!

-It's the place you want to stay in

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-# Everybody's welcome here in...

-Justin's House! #

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-One more time.

-Oh, I think they want to, sir.

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-# ..Justin's House!

-It's the place you want to play in

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-# Justin's House!

-You're my special guests today

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-# Justin's House

-It's the place you want to stay in

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# Everybody's welcome here in Justin's House

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# Everybody's welcome here in Justin's....

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# Justin's House! #

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-Yay!

-Well done, everybody.

-You were fabulous! Weren't they, Robert?

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Robert?

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Robert? What are you doing?

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Oh, well, I'm getting ready to go out, sir.

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I have to look smart and smell suitably oily, don't I?

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Ah, yes, you do, especially if you're going to the sweet shop

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to buy me some Whizz-Bang-Wallops

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-and some Zingy Sherbet Specials, please.

-Ah, well, um...

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Sir, I'm going somewhere a little smarter than the shops.

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ALL TOGETHER: Oooooh!

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Yes, I'm going to Posh Nosh.

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ALL TOGETHER: Oooooh!

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-Posh Nosh, eh?

-Yes.

-Wow!

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Posh Nosh! Ho-ho!

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-Er, Robert, what's Posh Nosh?

-Here, sir.

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Oh, it says here that Posh Nosh

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is the poshest new restaurant in Justin Town,

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and it's opening today!

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Oh, Posh Nosh! Oh, can we go?

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Can we? Can we? Can we?

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Brrrrrr-ooh!

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-Right, I'll go and smarten up.

-Actually, sir, I'm taking, erm...

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-ROBERT CLEARS HIS THROAT

-..Roberta to Posh Nosh.

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Roberta? The turbo-fast robot?

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Yes, the very same, sir.

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Oh...you mean, you're not taking me, your old chum? Your old pal?

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-Why ever not?

-Because of this.

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CHILDREN: Ooooh!

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Not the Cake-a-pulter 100,000?

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Yes, I'm mechanically mesmerised as to how to fix it, sir.

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-It's broken?

-Yes, sir.

-What's that got to do with you

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-taking me to dinner?

-I've verified the velocity sensors,

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rectified the reactors and altered the acceleration,

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but it just doesn't seem to do any good.

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-Hmm, let me see.

-Maybe there's some dust stuck in it. Here we go.

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Oi, oh, hey! What are you doing?

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-Ooh!

-There we are.

-Robert!

-Sorry, sir.

-Be careful with this machine!

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I'm completely flummoxed, sir, it's way too up-to-date for me.

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Which is why, um...

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I'm going to ask Roberta to fix it.

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Oh, I see! You're going to take Roberta for a Posh Nosh dinner

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and in return, she'll fix our Cake-a-pulter 100,000 machine

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and we can have some yummy cake!

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-Yes.

-You're a genius! That's a brilliant idea of mine.

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Right, off you go. Have a lovely time. Bye! Have fun!

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-DOOR SLAMS

-But, sir...

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-Yes? Argh!

-I can't do it.

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I've never been to a posh restaurant and I don't know what to do.

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What if I make a mistake and Roberta thinks I'm silly?

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She'll never help us then.

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Oh, I'm so nervous, my diodes are going doo-doo-doo...

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Oh, don't worry, he'll reset himself in a minute.

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Doo-doo-doo...lally! Where was I, sir?

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You were talking about Posh Nosh and panicking.

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Oh, me diodes! Doo-doo-doo...

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Oh! ..lally!

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-Thank you, sir.

-Dearie me. Now, calm down, Robert.

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In the Justin Times today, there are some top tips for Posh Nosh diners.

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We will help Robert, won't we, everyone?

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CHILDREN: Yeah!

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-You will?

-Yeah, I'll read them out. On second thoughts,

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why don't you read out the top tip, and I'll be your Posh Nosh diner?

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"At Posh Nosh, we all make sure our dinner guests

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"have a nice chair."

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A chair...oh, a chair!

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-Thank you, Little Monster. Here we are. A lovely chair.

-Very nice.

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Put that down there.

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-"Your guest may wish to sit at the window."

-Argh! Wait...!

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Let's sit you at the window.

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Actually, the window would be preferable, thank you.

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-"Or perhaps you'd prefer our lovely garden..."

-Ahh!

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"Whatever you do, always make sure your guest is comfortable."

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Are you comfortable, sir?

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-Yes, thank you.

-Why are you on the floor? What happened?

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-You took the chair away and I fell on my bottom!

-Oh, sir!

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I can't go with Roberta. What if she falls on the floor, like you?

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Calm down. Don't worry, it's going to be fine.

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Carry on. What's the next top tip?

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All right. "At Posh Nosh, we always give our guests a glass."

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-A glass, yes.

-Oh, very good - thank you, Little Monster.

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-"A glass...of water!" Of course.

-I'll have still, please.

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"At Posh Nosh, our water is from the freshest mountain streams..."

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-SPLASH!

-Argh! Robert!

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-"Add a slice of lemon..."

-Argh!

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-"..and ice cubes to make sure that it's always cold."

-I'm soaking!

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Oh-oh-oh!

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-TEETH CHATTER

-It's cold!

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Oh, sir! Oh, this is harder than I thought.

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-I can't take you to Posh Nosh. What if I soak Roberta?

-What do you mean?

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You've just soaked me! Oh...never mind, calm down. It'll be fine.

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-Now, what's the next top tip?

-All right.

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"We only give our guests the silkiest of napkins."

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Atchoo!

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Well, thank you. Here's your napkin.

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Eugh!

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"If you drop any of our delicious food..." Delicious food, thank you.

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"..the napkin will stop your posh clothes getting..."

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-Yes?

-Oh, over the page.

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-SPLAT!

-"..dirty." Right.

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Very good.

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Robert!

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Oh, no, sir! What if I were to custard Roberta?

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She'll never agree to fix the Cake-a-pulter 100,000 then.

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-Oh, I give up!

-Calm down, if anyone can do it, you can.

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-Isn't that right, everyone?

-CHILDREN: Yeah!

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I don't know, sir.

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Please, Robert. Do it for me, do it for the Cake-a-pulter 100,000.

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-Please, please? Think of all of those delicious cakes.

-Mmm.

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Cakes...oh, yes. Robots do love cakes.

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Cupcakes, butterfly cakes, little mini chocolate cakes -

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oh, yes, we do love them, sir!

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-Calm down!

-All right, I'll do it.

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I'm going to get cleaned up,

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you get ready for your Posh Nosh dinner.

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All right, sir, all right. So, posh, posh. Very, very posh.

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Bow-tie, smart.

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-DOING!

-Oh! Rattle me ratchets!

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Taking Roberta to Posh Nosh is not a good idea.

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HONK!

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Oh, it's the phone, the phone. Hello? No...hello? No.

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Uh...oh, where is it? Where is it? Ah, here we are.

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Ah! Hello, Justin's House, Robert speaking,

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learned friend and servant of Justin. How may I help?

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-VOICE ON THE PHONE

-Aargh! Oh, it's Roberta!

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-I can't talk to her!

-HONK!

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No, I can't speak to you, go away!

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I don't know what to say! I can't go to Posh Nosh.

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-Is that the phone ringing?

-Yes, sir.

-Answer it.

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-I can't. You see, it's...

-Oh...Roberta! How are you?

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-CHATTER

-Oh, Robert?

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-Yes, would you like to speak to him?

-No, no!

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I'm afraid he can't speak at the moment,

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he's getting ready for your Posh Nosh dinner.

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-No, no, no!

-Yes, he's jumping for joy.

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-CHATTER

-You can't go?

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Oh, yes!

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-IMITATES ROBERT:

-Yes, that is a shame!

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-Why can't you go?

-CHATTER

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Posh Nosh, the restaurant, is closed today?

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The chef is a trifle busy?

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Oh, dear. That is a shame.

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Yes, and Robert seems very disappointed.

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Hang on a minute. Roberta, I've got a really good idea.

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Why don't you come over here to Justin's House

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and Little Monster... Uh, I mean, Petite Monsteur,

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can cook for you and Robert?

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Because I so want you to fix my Cake-a-pulter...

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I mean, I so want you to have some delicious cake here.

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Is that all right? Oh, you'll be round straightaway? Great!

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-Bye!

-Bye, I love you!

-Oh! Did you hear that, Robert?

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-Just one thing, sir.

-Yeah?

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What did you do that for?!

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I mean, since when had Little Monster been a fantastic chef?

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Well, since now!

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Ah-ha-ha!

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Bonjour, Petite Monsteur!

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-Robert, it's all going to be fine.

-No, sir, it's not.

-No, no, no!

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Don't panic. There we are. It'll all be just fine, won't it, everyone?

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CHILDREN: Yeah!

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We just need some time to get everything ready.

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-All right, sir.

-Think of the cakes.

-Mmm...cakes.

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We've got some time before Roberta arrives.

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DOORBELL RINGS

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# Who's at the door? Who's at the door?

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# Someone better answer it. #

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Robert, get the door.

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Well, can't you get it, sir?

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I'm panicking. If that's Roberta, we're not ready.

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It's not going to be Roberta.

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I mean, I've only just spoken to her on the phone. I'll get it.

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-Who is it?

-It's Roberta. Hang on a minute.

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That's all right. We've got plenty of time because...

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-Argh!

-Argh!

-TOGETHER: Roberta! Panic!

-Oh-oh-oh!

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ALARM BLARES

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Roberta's here already! Roberta's here and we're not ready.

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WALTZ PLAYS

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There's no time for this tomfoolery. Go and let Roberta in.

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-Oh, but...

-Listen, you'll be fine. Think of the Cake-a-pulter 100,000.

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-We're doing it...

-TOGETHER: ..For the cakes.

-OK.

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-I'll be back in a tick.

-Hang on! I can't do this on my own!

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Well, I've got to make a posh dining table.

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I think I'll use your new tools that you've just bought.

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-See you later.

-In my workshop?

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But you can't go in there. There's precision instruments in there,

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it'll be a disaster!

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No, sir, you can't just wander in. You've got no skill at carpentry,

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-there won't be any plates or anything.

-Ta-da!

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-Actually, that's quite good, sir.

-DOORBELL RINGS

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-There's the door.

-Let's get this over with, sir.

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-Don't forget. We're doing it...

-TOGETHER: ..For the cakes.

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I'll check the dinner,

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and remember all of the top tips from the Justin Times.

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-You'll be fine, Robert. Go get 'em, tiger!

-All right.

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DOORBELL RINGS

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All right. Come on, Robert, you can do this, old man.

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Hello, Roberta!

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Come on in. There we are. Say hello to Roberta, everybody.

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CHILDREN: Hello!

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Hello, everyone. I hope you're having a brilliant time in...

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ALL: Justin's House!

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Yes, right, now. This is the table, very good. What's next?

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Oh, yes, the chair, the chair!

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Chair, very posh, and um...oh, a napkin. That's right, napkin.

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-Robert, Robert!

-What? What?

-You haven't offered Roberta a chair.

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Oh, no! Right!

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-Oh!

-Oh! I can't do this, sir, I really can't!

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-Calm down, calm down! You'll be fine.

-I'm a tidier, not a charmer.

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-I really can't do this.

-I'll help you lay the table.

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-Don't worry about it.

-She's never going to agree to help us.

-She is!

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She's going to help us mend the machine, everything will be fine.

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-Let's go and tidy...

-Ahem!

0:17:050:17:07

Robert, please, take a seat.

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Roberta's much better at this than me. I can't do it!

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-You'll be fine. Go and sit down. I'll be the waiter.

-All right. A-ha.

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Welcome to Justin's House - the poshest restaurant in town.

0:17:230:17:28

-Now, what would sir and madam desire?

-Well, a menu.

0:17:280:17:32

Oh, yes, of course. I've forgotten the menu.

0:17:320:17:34

Thank you, Petite Monsteur!

0:17:340:17:39

Right, well, this evening, on the menu,

0:17:390:17:43

we have curried eggs, baked bean sauce, and chocolate sauce.

0:17:430:17:48

-But don't worry, it'll all come off. There you go.

-Get on with it!

0:17:480:17:52

-Oh, sorry. I'll just open this up.

-Ah!

-Oh!

0:17:520:17:56

Sorry. On the menu this evening, we have spaghetti.

0:17:560:18:01

-Oh, spaghetti, lovely! My favourite.

-And?

-And?

0:18:010:18:05

And...more spaghetti.

0:18:050:18:10

-Ahem, that's it?

-Yes, it's the only thing that Petite Monsteur can cook.

0:18:100:18:16

-What...?

-Spaghetti, please.

-Two spaghettis.

0:18:160:18:19

Very good. Petite Monsteur, could you getti the spaghetti? Thank you.

0:18:190:18:26

Oh! That's very quick, I'll just take...oh!

0:18:260:18:30

Oh, that Petite Monsteur is a little monster! Come back!

0:18:300:18:34

-She's going to ruin dinner.

-Has anyone seen Little Monster?

0:18:340:18:38

CHILDREN: There!

0:18:380:18:41

-It's over there! I'll get it, don't worry.

-Go on, sir.

0:18:420:18:46

Oh...!

0:18:460:18:47

Oh, she's there!

0:18:470:18:49

Little Monster, give me that spaghetti!

0:18:490:18:53

-Oh, she's too quick! Where is she now?

-Oh, Little Monster!

0:18:530:18:57

-You come here, I'm going to get that spaghetti...whoa!

-Oh!

0:18:570:19:01

-Dinner's ruined!

-Argh!

0:19:010:19:05

Oh, no! Roberta! I'm so sorry. Are you cross with me?

0:19:050:19:12

No, it looks rather funny...

0:19:140:19:17

and tastes delicious!

0:19:170:19:21

-Oh!

-No, I'm not cross at all.

-Oh, thank goodness for that!

0:19:210:19:26

Well, if you're not cross, may I ask a tiny favour, please?

0:19:260:19:30

-Of course.

-Robert, you're on.

-Oh...thank you, sir.

0:19:300:19:35

Roberta, would you mind ever so much

0:19:350:19:37

fixing our Cake-a-pulter 100,000, please?

0:19:370:19:40

-Yes, Robert couldn't fix it.

-Sir!

-Have you reconfigured the reactors?

0:19:400:19:45

-Oh, absolutely.

-Verified the velocity?

-Yes.

0:19:450:19:49

-Altered the acceleration?

-Well, of course.

-Have you switched it on?

0:19:490:19:54

-Have I switched it on...?

-HE LAUGHS

0:19:540:19:57

-Only a nincompoop would...

-You haven't switched it on, have you?

0:19:570:20:02

-No, I haven't. Right. Here we go.

-I hope it works.

0:20:020:20:07

MECHANICAL CLATTERING

0:20:070:20:09

THEY SCREAM

0:20:090:20:13

-Oh, it's firing cakes!

-The Cake-a-pulter! It's working!

0:20:130:20:18

-I fixed it, sir.

-Oh, Roberta, how can we ever thank you?

0:20:180:20:23

-Would you like some cake?

-No, thank you, sir.

0:20:230:20:27

-But there is one way you can thank me.

-Name it.

0:20:270:20:31

You can sing me my favourite robot song.

0:20:310:20:34

-Of course, we can manage that.

-I know just the one.

0:20:340:20:37

-Hit it!

-Hitting it, sir. Here we go, everybody.

0:20:370:20:41

# You put your robo-legs in Your robo-legs out

0:20:410:20:45

# In, out, in out You shake 'em all about

0:20:450:20:48

# You do the Robo-Cokey and you turn around

0:20:480:20:50

-# And that's what it's all about

-Everybody now!

0:20:500:20:52

# Oh, the Robo-Cokey

0:20:520:20:55

# Oh, the Robo-Cokey

0:20:550:20:58

# Oh, the Robo-Cokey

0:20:580:21:01

# Knees bent, arms stretched Beep-beep-beep! #

0:21:010:21:04

Now we're sufficiently warmed up, sir.

0:21:040:21:06

I always like to do some tidying.

0:21:060:21:08

-Everybody, get out your tickly dusters.

-That's it.

-Oh, very good.

0:21:080:21:13

Very good dusters. We're going to put them in, here we go.

0:21:130:21:17

# You put your dusters in Your dusters out

0:21:170:21:20

# In, out, in out You shake 'em all about

0:21:200:21:23

# You do the Robo-Cokey and you turn around

0:21:230:21:26

-# That's what it's all about

-Here we go!

0:21:260:21:29

# Oh, the Robo-Cokey

0:21:290:21:31

# Oh, the Robo-Cokey

0:21:310:21:34

# Oh, the Robo-Cokey

0:21:340:21:36

# Knees bent, arms stretched Beep-beep-beep! #

0:21:360:21:39

Oh...now, sir, when there's lots of mess around,

0:21:390:21:43

I think we have to press the Panic Button.

0:21:430:21:46

-Of course.

-Everybody get ready to press.

-Here we go.

0:21:460:21:50

# You press your panic button in Your panic button out

0:21:500:21:53

# In, out, in out You shake it all about

0:21:530:21:55

# You do the Robo-Cokey and you turn around

0:21:550:21:59

-# That's what it's all about

-Everybody!

0:21:590:22:01

# Oh, the Robo-Cokey

0:22:010:22:03

# Oh, the Robo-Cokey

0:22:030:22:06

# Oh, the Robo-Cokey

0:22:060:22:08

# Knees bent, arms stretched Beep-beep-beep! #

0:22:080:22:11

Now we put our whole selves in.

0:22:110:22:13

# You put your whole self in Your whole self out

0:22:130:22:16

# In, out, in, out You shake it all about

0:22:160:22:19

# You do the Robo-Cokey and you turn around

0:22:190:22:22

-# That's what it's all about

-Everybody now!

0:22:220:22:24

# Oh, the Robo-Cokey

0:22:240:22:26

# Oh, the Robo-Cokey

0:22:260:22:29

# Oh, the Robo-Cokey

0:22:290:22:31

# Knees bent, arms stretched Beep-beep-beep! #

0:22:310:22:34

-Right, double time.

-Double time!

0:22:340:22:36

# Oh, the Robo-Cokey

0:22:360:22:38

# Oh, the Robo-Cokey

0:22:380:22:40

# Oh, the Robo-Cokey

0:22:400:22:42

# Knees bent, arms stretched Beep-beep-beep

0:22:420:22:44

# Oh, the Robo-Cokey

0:22:440:22:46

# Oh, the Robo-Cokey

0:22:460:22:47

# Oh, the Robo-Cokey

0:22:470:22:49

# Knees bent, arms stretched Beep-beep-beep

0:22:490:22:52

# Knees bent, arms stretched Beep-beep-beep! #

0:22:520:22:54

-Let's have a big cheer!

-Well done, everybody!

0:22:540:22:57

-Oh, very good!

-Oh, that was robo-fantastic! Wasn't it?

0:22:570:23:03

-It was.

-Let's hear a huge cheer for Roberta!

0:23:030:23:07

THEY CHEER

0:23:070:23:09

-And for Robert!

-Thank you very much.

-THEY CHEER

0:23:090:23:12

-And for Petite Monsteur!

-THEY CHEER

0:23:120:23:16

-And, of course, you!

-Hooray!

0:23:160:23:20

Well done, and we'll see you next time in...

0:23:200:23:24

-ALL: Justin's House!

-Bye-bye!

0:23:240:23:28

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:23:280:23:31

Despite his best efforts, Robert cannot get Justin's Cake-a-Pulter Hundred Thousand to work. This is a job for Roberta the superturbo robot - but only after Justin has treated her and Robert to a not-so-peaceful dinner in the house.


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