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Lose Junior League of Super Evil

Lose Junior

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Transcript

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Doktor Frogg, if you see the remote, tug twice.

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Come on, throw your back into it.

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Here, I found it.

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THEY SCREAM

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THEY STRUGGLE IN THE SOFA

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INAUDIBLE

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Is that your foot?

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EVIL LAUGHTER

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Huh?

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GIGGLING

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Code red! Code red!

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OK, OK, forget code red. This is code extremely bright red!

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HE SCREAMS

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Let me guess, you're out of Hubble Bubble bubble bath?

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Worse! Red Menace forgot to tape Battle Of The Cyborg Chefs.

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What's the point of having a muscley henchman like Red

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if he forgets to tape my shows?

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Red Menace! Where have you been?

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Around and nowhere. Mostly nowhere. So...

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Hey. Whoa, noon. Is it noon already?

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Doomy's nails are not going to trim themselves now, are they? So see ya.

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You know, I've got a hench my hunchman is up to something.

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Suspiciouser and suspiciouser. Quickly, follow him.

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HE SQUEALS

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3:20pm. The subject carries a backpack

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with something secret and round inside.

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Possibly...evil.

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No, stop. Bad, Doomageddon.

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SCREAMING

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Hmm.

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HE GIGGLES

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# League Of Super Evil. #

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He's meeting with someone.

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And he's about to hand over one of our top secret roundish things.

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We must put a stop to this.

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Ah-ha!

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Oh, hey, guys.

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I was just going to play basketball with my official Cool Buddy.

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You're going to neglect VCR duties to play hoops with this twerp?

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This is Malakai Milk.

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The Cool Buddy Foundation made me his mentor.

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I meet him everyday at 3:15 to shoot hoops, hang out,

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talk...though Mal doesn't really talk much.

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MAL SLURPS

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Or at all, actually.

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You're not angry are you, Voltar.

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HE MUTTERS ANGRILY

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-Er...

-It's...genius! Ha-ha-ha!

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What better way for future generations

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to learn the ways of evil villainy

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than to be taught by the greatest evil mastermind

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the world has ever known? Me!

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You? If anyone should be mentoring the twerp,

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it should be a scientific genius like me.

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MAL SLURPS

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Uh, Mal's right. You don't need to fight over him.

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We can all be his Cool Buddies.

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SNIFFING

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DOOMAGEDDON WHIMPERS

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GRUNTING

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Doomageddon, be nice to Mal.

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We'll settle this matter in the usual fashion.

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Winner gets first crack at Mal.

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Rock crushes scissors.

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Rock crushes scissors.

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Rock crushes scissors. I win.

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Scissors? That's paper. That's clearly paper!

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VOLTAR CLEARS HIS THROAT

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Pay attention, Mal.

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That was the first lesson of how to be an evil mastermind -

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know your enemies weaknesses.

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COUGHS

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Yes. To continue,

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as evil mastermind, I alone

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devise the League Of Super Evil's nefarious plans.

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And this, of course, is thanks to my impressive cranial capacity.

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TICKING

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Ah, Doomageddon.

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They say Doom hounds are completely untrainable,

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but for an evil mastermind like myself...

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HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

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Doomageddon...sit up.

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HE GRUNTS

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Excellent.

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HE GIGGLES

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You see, Mal, a mastermind has ultimate control.

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VOLTAR GIGGLES MENACINGLY

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TICKING

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Hello?

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Ah, a chip off the old claw.

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You know, this will really bring out the evil genius in you.

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MAL SLURPS

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One size too big. Don't worry, you'll grow into it.

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Oh, that. It's the trithunderous laser blaster.

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So far it's all try and no thunderous laser blasting,

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but, you know. Argh!

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Well, sure you could tighten that stop up with all those wires around.

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The hover battle poster.

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Perfecting the ratio has been more difficult than I anticipated...

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Ah! You've got a good eye.

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That is my greatest non-working invention ever.

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The time plunger!

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When operational, it controls the very flow of time itself.

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But then we wouldn't have anything to unclog the toilet.

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HE GROWLS

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COCK CROWS

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A good henchman is a team player.

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Pick up that tank, punch through this steel-enforced vault,

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-open this jar of pickles...

-Red Menace!

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Are you setting the VCR to tape my show?

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Time's all set, Voltar.

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And I've taught Mal all he needs to know

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about being a good evil henchman.

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Excellent!

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I suggest a field trip.

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A diabolical one!

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HE LAUGHS

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I'm not sure this diabolical field trip is

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an approved Cool Buddy activity, Voltar.

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Nonsense, Red! This is character-building.

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Now, open that clock.

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After we set the clock ahead five minutes,

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all who gaze upon it will think they're late for work,

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school or even...hair appointments!

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Operation Tardy Pants commences in ten...

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..nine...

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Mal!

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What are you doing?

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Is that our plunger?

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Not just any plunger!

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It's a fully functional time plunger!

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Oh! Noon?! I've missed my eleven o'clock hair appointment!

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THEY SCREAM

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..three, two, one...and mark!

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What? Twelve o'clock?!

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Is that our plunger?

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-Mal! What are you doing? This isn't part of the plan!

-You there!

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On the clock tower!

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You have five seconds to surrender!

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Oh! The army! Mal, see what you've done?!

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All right. Let me handle this with a threatening taunt.

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EXPLOSIONS

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Stop that! One evil mastermind per group. That's the rule.

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(DEEP VOICE) Then you, Voltar, have just been demoted.

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HE LAUGHS

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That's a much deeper voice than I was expecting.

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Mal! You talked!

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Oh...Mal, Mal, Mal, Mal, Mal, Mal, Mal, Mal, Mal.

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So young, so much to learn.

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It takes more than one diabolical evil blinking clock plan

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to achieve the pinnacle of super villainy. Like me.

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Um, Voltar?

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If all the clocks are messed up, the VCR won't record your programme.

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HE SCREAMS Evil runt!

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I will not miss another episode of Cyborg Chefs!

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Red, take care of that pint-sized VCR...mess-arounder.

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I don't want to be a stickler, but didn't you just get demoted?

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Frogg?

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I'm with Red on this one.

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Doomageddon - attack!

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-Eeek!

-See you never, gentlemen.

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THEY SCREAM

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MAL LAUGHS

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Noooo!

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No! Those floating pions are my... are my Cool Buddy mentors.

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They taught me evil!

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What? Those three? They don't even look like they could tell time.

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You're clearly the brains behind this disaster, punk.

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You're coming with us.

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With every waking hour, I will plot your downfall, losers!

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Your end will come!

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Ah... I miss his quiet voice.

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VOLTAR LAUGHS

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Victory is ours! Metrotown is now officially five minutes late.

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VOLTAR LAUGHS

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If time is working again, the VCR should be taping the show

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-on Channel Seven, as per your instructions.

-Yeah.

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Except Battle Of The Cyborg Chefs is, of course, on Channel Two.

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THEY MOO

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Oh...!

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Noooooo!

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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E-mail [email protected]

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