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Red Menacing League of Super Evil

Red Menacing

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Transcript

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Simon says, touch your nose!

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Good.

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Now, lift this sofa up as high as you can.

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I got it, I got it!

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Whoah! Urrgh!

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I didn't say, "Simon says."

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-Frogg says, call an ambulance!

-Ha-ha-ha!

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Muh-hah-hah-hah! Eh?

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-He-he!

-Urgh!

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-Aah!

-Huh?

-Aah!

-Oh!

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COCKEREL CROWS

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Evil... Victory!

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TOY SQUEAKS

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HE MUMBLES

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Voltar?

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Voltar!

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Voltar, it's finally here!

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My hardly-ever-henchman appreciation day!

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Get off my bed!

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Silly Voltar! Everyone knows that for henchman appreciation day,

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I get to wear the antennae of leadership,

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and yell orders at you.

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Now, I order you to get ready for some henchman appreciation fun!

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Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, ha-ha-ha!

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HE SNORES

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It's henchman appreciation day, remember?

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As temporary henchboss, I get first dibs on the bathroom.

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Oh, and don't forget

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my henchman appreciation picnic breakfast in bed!

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That's an order! He-he-he-he!

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Hmm! This flapjack batter in a mug is even better

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than the bag o'dry oatmeal you made last time, Doktor Frogg.

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-Eee!

-Oops, Voltar, it's time for your "Red Menace is the greatest" speech.

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Oh, yeah. Oh, right.

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-I wrote you a real good one!

-No!

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"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Red is a great guy.

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"Wait for applause."

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Woo-hoo! Yeah!

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"Frogg and I are grateful of his great greatness,

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"isn't that greaty great great?" Oh, the end.

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HE SOBS

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CAR HORNS BLARE

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Ooh!

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Ohhh!

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As temporary henchboss, I call dibs on the bubble wrap!

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Yah! Ha-ha! Whoah!

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Forget your bubbly wrap, Red,

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this knotty pine will make a perfect TV stand.

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Aah!

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Zirconium-plated outer shell?

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Nuclear plasmonic power core?

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Chrome-plated cup holders, oww!

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This baby's put together!

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BUZZER

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Aaah!

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ELECTRICAL ZAPPING

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Oh, we're keeping that.

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It is with great pride...

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..and a 12 billion price tag,

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that I give you...

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..the army's latest top secret weapon

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in the fight against evil super villains.

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This weapon is so top secret,

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that even I don't know what it looks like.

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No, no... Wait, Sir, there's no...

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Behold...

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GASPS

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-What?

-Er, Sir, it must have fallen off the truck during transport.

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-Are you sure? It's not invisible?

-Erm, positive, Sir.

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I can't believe our luck!

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With this device,

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we'll be the most powerful super villains in Metrotown!

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-Maybe even the whole tri-city area! Muh-hah...

-Citizen Frogg,

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As supreme commander, I do the muh-hah-hah-hah-ing around here!

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Actually, Voltar, it's still henchman appreciation day,

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which means I'm in charge,

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and I say we should return the gizmo to its rightful owners.

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What?!

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We're going to plaster the neighbourhood

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with these "found" posters I made.

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It'll be fun!

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I even put asparagus-flavoured adhesive on the back! Yummy!

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SIRENS WAIL

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Set up unit-wide search pattern!

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Sir, we've found this.

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"Found. One futuristic gizmo capable of burning a hole

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"in the earth's crust. Contact Red Menace,

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"leader of the League Of Super Evil, at 217 Happy Valley Road.

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"Will need proof of ownership."

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We must re-acquire the weapon before it falls into the wrong hands.

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Saddle up, men! We're moving out!

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-Hello.

-I believe you have something of mine?

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Hmm, I see. Do you have any proof that the item in question is yours?

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Err... I seem to have left the receipt in my other uniform.

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Uh-huh.

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Well, then, just a couple of questions. What colour is it?

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Er... I don't know.

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-Is it bigger than a tuna?

-Maybe.

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-Does it smell like a tuna?

-No. I mean, yeah. I mean... It might?

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Sorry. Wrong answer.

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Grrrr!

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ELECTRICAL ZAPPING

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-Boy, do I love that thing!

-Open fire!

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-Aaah!

-Aaah!

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I will not let this gizmo fall into the wrong hands!

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Red, I order you to stop them with the multi-plasma thingy!

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First, you can't order me today,

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and second, it doesn't belong to us. We might break it!

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And third, I have a better idea.

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Sir, the target vehicle has entered a dead-end street.

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We have them!

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What?

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-Er, cluck, cluck. Cluck...

-You there!

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Did you see a golf cart

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carrying a top secret military weapon come this way?

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Hmm, can't say I have.

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Been spreading manure all morning. How about you, Abigail?

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Ee-ay, ee-ay, no!

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Move out, men. Those villains have given us the slip.

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OK, guys, looks like we're going to have to lay low

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-until we can find the gizmo's owner.

-CHICKEN CLUCKS

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How do chickens do that?

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Ow, oh, ow, urrgh! Aaargh!

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Stupid chicken zipper! This is all your fault, Red.

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You guys are just cranky cos you missed breakfast.

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Lucky for you, bush survival was part of my super henchman training.

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That's a stink beetle and tree fungus salad,

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with a light pond scum vinaigrette.

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Urgh!

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Aaargh!

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That's it. Henchman appreciation day is over!

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Which means you are no longer the temporary henchboss!

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But it's not six o'clock yet.

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I don't care!

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I am taking the gizmo and going back to the lair.

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Frogg, give me a hand!

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Urrgh!

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Aiii!

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Argh!

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ELECTRICAL ZAPPING

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Ooops.

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It's them! Fire at will, men!

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-Ooh!

-Ow, ow, stop it! Oh!

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Don't just stand there, Red. Do something super henchmanny!

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But I'm no longer henchboss, remember?

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OK, fine, you're reinstated. Now, do something!

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Yay!

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Those weapon-pilferers have given us the slip again!

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We should be safe here,

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as long as nobody makes any sudden movements or loud noises.

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Er, yeah, whatever, Red.

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Huh! Eeee!

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Ah, stop it, stop it! That tickles!

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THEY ALL SCREAM

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Don't worry, Doktor Frogg. A good henchboss is always prepared.

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No!

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Aaargh!

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Sir, they seem to hold evil dominion

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over the flying creatures of the forest.

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Urgh, grrr!

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Phew!

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We're under attack, men. Take cover!

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Woo-woo! Muh-hah-hah-hah! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

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We're in over our heads, trooper. Activate the self-destruct sequence.

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If the army can't play with a cool weapon, then no-one can.

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TIMER BEEPS

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I don't believe it!

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No broken bones, no contusions, no dents in my claws,

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that never happens when Voltar's in charge!

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People and gizmo-saving is what temporary leaders do.

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VOLTAR CLUCKS

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You know how hard it is to run in a chicken suit?

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ALARM BEEPS

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Oh, six o'clock already. Boy, time flies when you're having fun!

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Muh-hah-hah! That means henchman appreciation day is over,

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and I'm back in charge!

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I hereby decree that we are keeping this plasma shooting doo-hickey,

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because it can melt holes in stuff, and has cool flashing numbers on it!

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Red, I order you to take us to the hospital.

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Ha-ha! Yes, Sir, team leader.

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Ah, you know, I kind of miss being a henchman.

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Subtitles by Sam Parish Red Bee Media Ltd

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E-mail [email protected]

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