Dial 'E' for Evil League of Super Evil


Dial 'E' for Evil

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Minions, I ask you, why pay the garbage man

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when we can launch a year's worth of our trash into the sun?

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Ugh, all ready, Voltar, sir.

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Doktor Frogg, commence the countdown!

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We'll have lift off in five...

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Four...

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Three...

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In two...

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Well, that's that.

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BURP!

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One.

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Muh-hah-hah-hah!

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PHONE RINGS

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Hello?

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Beg your pardon?

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Is my refrigerator running?!

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Oh, why, yes it is!

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I should go catch it.

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Glory away!

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PHONE RINGS

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Anita Bath?

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Do you know Anita Bath?

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THEY LAUGH

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VOICE ON PHONE LAUGHS

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Grrr!

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Graow!

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Oooh!

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Ooh, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

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Err, what are you doing, Voltar?

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I - get this -

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call people I don't even know

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and annoy them over the phone!

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-Red Menace?

-Yes, Voltar?

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Err, black liquorice twisty blob?

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Bleurgh!

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Those things are so foul, even I won't touch them.

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Now, quit snacking

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and get me the next number in the Metrotown Phone Book!

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Err, bad news, Voltar.

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Zyzwykowski was the last one. We've annoy-called the whole city!

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NOOOO!

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Well, it was fun while it lasted.

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Hmmm.

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I've got an idea.

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Ringtone to Cellular. Come in, Cellular.

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Yes, Ringtone. Almost done.

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CAT MEOWS

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Ha ha, with Frogg's giant satellite thingy,

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I'll be able to annoy-call people around the world!

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Without paying those pesky long-distance charges.

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Red Menace, start dialling.

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Err, five, five, five

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four, three...

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Infernal cables! I just...

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..four, six, one, one, one, one...

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SATELLITE HUMS

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No! Wait!

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Aaargh!

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PHONE RINGS

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It's ringing!

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So are my ears.

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DIALLING TONE RINGS

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PHONE RINGS

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Who DARES disturb Emperor Doomongo the Ginormous' slumbers?!

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DISGUISES VOICE: Um, excuse me, Mr Ginormous,

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but is your refrigerator running?

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If, by refrigerator, you mean my Normidium Cooling Orb,

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the answer is YES!

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Um, Normidium Cooling Orb?

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Now, if you disturb me again,

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I'll have you thrown into the Great Void of Zarkon! Gah!

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Something felt a little off about that last call, Voltar.

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Yeah.

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He didn't seem annoyed enough.

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Red, redial.

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HE SNORES

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PHONE RINGS

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'WHAAAAT?'

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Now, THAT'S more like it.

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'You barely sounded annoyed that first time.'

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You actually seek to annoy Humongo,

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ruler of the Ginormans, enslaver of worlds?!

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'Mightiest warrior in the universe?!'

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Um, yeah.

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I didn't call to ask about the weather.

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-Ha ha ha.

-GULP!

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This is your final warning.

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Apologise lest you incur the wrath of Humongo!

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'Apologise? Never!'

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Especially not to some so-called emperor

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of a country I've never even heard of.

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That man didn't seem too happy, Voltar.

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Pfft, what's he going to do, track me down and MAKE me apologise?

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Track him down!

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Make him apologise!

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PEOPLE SCREAM

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Ooh, he sounded REALLY annoyed!

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Grr, another evil triumph by the League of Super Evil(!)

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TV SWITCHES ON

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ALIENS! EVERY VILLAIN FOR HIMSELF!

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'We interrupt this frightening image for important news.'

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'My fellow citizens, our planet is under siege.

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'An alien invader has threatened... consequences if he doesn't get

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'the so-called annoying caller to apologise to him.'

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Voltar prank-called the ruler of an interstellar alien fleet?!

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The Great Voltar does not apologise... EVER!

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Err...

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Right, minions?

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Here, the annoying caller.

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TRAITORS!

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Sorry, Voltar, but it was the right thing to do.

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Yeah, and the army offered a reward for your capture as well.

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'Humongo, we have the annoying caller'.

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And he WILL apologise.

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PEOPLE SCREAM

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We meet at last, annoying caller.

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I believe you have something to say to me?

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Erm...

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MUFFLED SPEECH

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I...accept the apology.

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Phew!

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Consider yourselves lucky, puny...

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HE GASPS

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He had his fingers crossed!

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The apology DID NOT COUNT!

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A simple apology would have spared you.

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But now you shall face me in battle.

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THEY CHEER

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You look a lot taller up close.

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You can do it, Voltar. Whoo!

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You're going down, Peewee!

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This will be a glorious battle! Ha ha ha!

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Hwah!

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THEY GASP

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Ooh, can you two just get this duel to the death over with?!

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Some of us would like to sneak in a little evil this afternoon.

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THEY PANT

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Enough!

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Bleugh... you!

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I propose a tactical cessation of hostilities.

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Agreed.

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I shall spare this foolish planet if...

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you pay me a peace tribute.

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A what?!

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Urgh, just give him something, Voltar, and he'll leave.

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Ya-ooh! Yeah, hey.

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A peace tribute. Sure thing, there, Humungo, my man.

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Let's see.

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Here's some precious pocket mint and a priceless penny. Ooh!

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Ooh!

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An earth delicacy.

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A black liquorice twisty blob.

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Deal!

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Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

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CROWD CHEERS

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Thanks for saving the world, Voltar.

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Muh-hah-hah-hah!

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And they didn't even take any of the good stuff.

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Ahem, no need to thank me, puny citizens.

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Now, about your annoy-calling.

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Err, heh-heh, heh-heh, heh-heh.

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Foolish earthling, does he not realise that he just gave me

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the most powerful dark matter in the universe?

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Now that our dark matter core is fully charged,

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the universe shall soon feel the gigantic wrath of the Ginormans!

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Muh-hah-hah-hah!

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Oh, tea time!

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Muh-hah-hah-hah!

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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E-mail [email protected]

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