Voltar's Parade League of Super Evil


Voltar's Parade

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Er, what are you doing, Voltar?

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We are breaking the villain airspeed record.

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Ha-ha-ha! Did you draw on the lightning bolts yourself?

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Yeah. Everyone knows lightning bolts

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make things go faster. Launch me, Red!

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BOING!

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-Ai!

-Probably could've used a few more lightning bolts.

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Yeah, or a bigger slingshot.

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EVIL LAUGH

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Hee-hee!

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-Huh? Argh!

-Ah!

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Well, it's a, lovely afternoon

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here in Metrotown for the 15th annual

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Super Villain Parade of Doom.

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That is right, Bobby. And the crowd is ecstatic!

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-CROWD:

-Boo! Boo!

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Right, and there's Commander Chaos.

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Looking as chaotic as ever.

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And Doctor Bodlington Von Pantaloon III.

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Flush with pride, no doubt! Ha-ha-ha!

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And there's Kinder Creep.

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And a ho, ho, horrible parade to you, old chap!

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Ho-ho! Horrible! The Cougar.

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Making sure her float is purrfect.

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-Rrr!

-Oh, ha-ha-ha! Good.

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Oh, and then there's these guys.

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Tee-hee! This year, we will have the extremely evil honour

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of leading the parade.

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-Ah! Really?

-Yes, Red.

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I'm going to make sure we don't follow anybody.

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Not after what happened last year.

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MAMMOTH BREAKS WIND

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-ALL: Brrr!

-Let's do this!

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Woohoo! That's a can-do attitude!

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And there's the leader of this year's parade,

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-The one and only Skullossus

-He's pretty evil, people!

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-ALL:

-Boo!

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VOLTAR SPLUTTERS Him?!

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They're getting HIM to lead the parade?

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Well, yeah! He IS the world's biggest super villain.

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-Yeah? Says who?

-Skullossus, the world's biggest super villain.

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And three-time Villain's Choice awards winner.

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Ooh! Mark my words,

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-I will lead this parade...

-Er, Voltar?

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-Not now! Where was I? Right. Nothing...

-Voltar?

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-Quit interrupting!

-Voltar, the parade has started!

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Huh?

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Ah! Why didn't you guys tell me sooner?

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And there they go, in all their evil glory.

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-CROWD:

-Boo! Boo!

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EVIL LAUGH

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Excuse me.

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Argh!

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Evil float coming through!

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Gee, Voltar. It's not really polite to cut in line.

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Well, Red, it's not really polite...

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to not make ME THE PARADE LEADER!

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CAR HORN HONKS Beat it, Cougar!

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Look! Her left turn signal's flashing. Is she turning?

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It's been on since the parade started.

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BRAKES SCREECH

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Curses! Her evil old lady driving powers

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are too, er...powerful!

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CAR HORN BLARING

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-D'oh!

-Let me handle this.

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Argh! Oh!

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Ha-ha-ha! Now, that's what I call kitty litter!

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Ha-ha-ha! Cos she's a cat

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and she's in a dumpster! Hey!

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Leave the one liners to the pros, Frogg.

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-Sorry, Cougar lady!

-Young people!

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BOOING

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Eat toilet paper, puny citizens! Ha-ha-ha!

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Arrgh!

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I will have my revenge!

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Nice touch, Doomy.

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HE EATS NOISILY

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Arrgh!

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A-a-ah!

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Huh? Ah!

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BRAKES SCREECH

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We're almost in the lead!

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Nothing can stop us now!

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HE LAUGHS EVILLY

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The package is on its way.

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Repeat, the package is on its way.

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Hee-hee!

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Each year, every super villain in town does this silly parade thing.

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Hee! Why didn't we try this sooner?

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Well, because it's on a Saturday.

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Well, this year, we're going to capture them

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all in one fell swoop.

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HE LAUGHS

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Get ready, people. That parade'll be here any minute.

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-BOOING

-Yes, yes, I hate you all too!

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Ooh! We're so close. I can taste the sweet lead float glory!

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THEY ALL COUGH

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No, that's just depleted plutonium exhaust.

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HE COUGHS

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Voltar, how will we pass? His float's so big.

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Hmm. I've got an ace up my sleeve. Heh-heh!

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Feel the wrath of the great Voltar!

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CAR HORN BEEPS

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Out of the way! Move it!

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-Oh!

-Ooh! Why isn't he moving?

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Such a mighty turn out this year.

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That does it!

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CAR BRAKES SCREECH

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Doktor Frogg, time to unleash the fury!

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Mwahaha! I thought you'd never ask.

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Ha-ha-ha!

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HE LAUGHS MANIACALLY

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ROCKET RUMBLES

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ALL: Warrgh!

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Arrgh!

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Hey! We're in the lead!

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Ha! In your face, Skullossus!

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-COMPUTER:

-'Warning, you are no longer leading the parade.'

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What?! Impossible!

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I'M supposed to be in the lead!

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What, we can do that?

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Out of my way! Ho, ho, ho!

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Ha-ha-ha! In your faces!

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I now have the power of the lead float.

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-What?!

-Grr!

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Oh, well, maybe you could use that power to,

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oh, I don't know, GET US OUT OF HERE?!

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Get him!

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Arrgh!

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ALARM BLEEPS

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Any minute now.

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LAUGHTER

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Sweet laser beams! They've changed the parade route!

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Buckle up, folks. This could get bumpy.

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Nothing to see here, citizens. Continue shopping.

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Oh, look, a seahorsie!

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Ooh!

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BELL PINGS

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Ah! Huh? Hey there, Mr Skullmando.

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Arrgh!

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Everybody! Except for Skullmando, no offence. Hold on tight!

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CAR BRAKES SCREECH

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Ooh, ohh! Ooh!

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FANFARE

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I think we've managed to triangulate the parade's new trajectory.

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Prepare the box and the stick.

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Ah! Home, vile home!

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Is there any better way to end the parade?

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-Alive would be nice(!)

-Ah, kitty!

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SHOUTING

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Meow!

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ALL: Yay! Hooray! Woo-hoo!

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Uh-oh.

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Oh, man!

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Oh! HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

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Hey there, guys! Nice day for a parade, right?

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Arrgh!

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Ha!

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ALL: The Legion of Glory?

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We give up, we give up! You villains win.

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-You foiled our brilliant ambush.

-HE GROANS

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Wait! This tiny, insignificant villain

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hijacked our parade to save us all?

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I did? I mean, yes! Of course I did!

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ALL: Hooray!

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-Let's celebrate!

-With a parade!

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To the lead!

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-Well, as...

-Let's have a para-a-ade!

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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