Could Dinosaurs Ever Come Back? Little Howard's Big Question

Big Howard, I don't want to worry you...

-Oh, you've not spilt your drink?

-Er, no.

-Have you swallowed a wasp?

-No.

The country's at war?!

I don't think so. Do you worry about those things?

Constantly. It's called being a grown up.

-Blimey! No wonder you're going bald.

-What?! Don't tell me that!

-I'll have to worry about that!

-And the small dinosaur on the table.

Sorry, dinosaur?

Yeah, dinosaur.

Where is it?

Oh, it's going off.

When you say small dinosaur, what, what exactly do you mean?

Well, I mean, it was a dinosaur. Only very small.

Right. What sort of dinosaur?

It was triceratop-docus rex. I'd recognise one anywhere.

Is this one of your jokes?

-Like when you thought you saw a bandersnatch in the attic?

-No.

I was up there for five hours with a butterfly net.

-No, it's really real.

-Really?

-Really.

Hang on a minute. It said in the news

that there was a lizard escaped from the reptile house, at the local zoo.

It might be that. You keep watch. I'll go and get the newspaper.

-What if it attacks me?

-Well, keep hold of it.

Or make sure it keeps hold of you.

Here it is.

-Behold, the dino catcher!

-How on earth did you...?

Just a little something I knocked up.

It says here a lizard escaped from the reptile house, at the zoo last

night. And is believed to be at large in the Purley area.

Members of the public are advised not to build large traps,

-to try and catch it.

-Oops.

-If you see it, call the reptile police.

-Brilliant!

Right, where is he?

All we need to do now is tempt him into the trap.

-Oh, I think I can see his tail.

-What do dinosaurs eat?

-Lizards.

Where do we get lizards from?

No, no. I mean, it's not a dinosaur, it's a lizard. What do lizards eat?

-Er, cakes?

-No.

-Oh, come on! Everything eats cakes.

It's a Victoria Sponge!

I thought they ate grubs or something. It's... I,

I don't know how that works.

What shall we do now?

Call the reptile police at the zoo.

Well, done. You've done a good job.

Very professional bit of trapping. Good idea with the sponge cake.

Big Howard said it wouldn't work.

-He thought it was a dinosaur.

-Well, sort of dinosaurs.

Dinosaurs are pre-historic reptiles, with scaly skin.

-So, quite a lot like a lizard.

-Told you!

-It's not actually a dinosaur, though, is it?

-Well, no.

Told you, ha, ha!

Could I hold him?

Yes, you could. They're very placid creatures, unless they're alarmed by

-sudden movement or noise.

-KLAXON BLASTS

I, Little Howard, have come with another one of my big questions!

-Could the dinosaurs ever come back?

-I do wish you wouldn't do that.

-What did he say?

-He said, I do wish you wouldn't do that.

Don't worry, he's more scared of you, than you are of him.

Are you sure?

'Prehistoric Purley hit headlines today

'When a fossilised crinkle cut chip was found in the tarmac.'

KLAXON BLASTS

# I love monkeys

# I love monkeys

# All those happy little chirpy little monkeys

# With their tails

# And their bananas

# I think that if we were all monkeys we'd have happier mananas

# Give me monkeys Lots of monkeys

# For you know that it's the monkeys I adore

# If my love said that she did not love those monkeys

# I wouldn't love her any more

# Thank you very much! #

ROARING

Ooh-ooh-ah-ah-ah!

Euurrgh!

Brilliant, a dinosaur!

He just ate one of the monkeys. You love monkeys!

When have I ever said I love monkeys?

The song?

Oh, yes, yes. I do. But dinosaurs are even better.

-Why don't you sing, "I love dinosaurs"?

-(Monkeys are cheaper!)

Now, don't worry, this won't hurt a bit.

-Ow!

-When are we going to answer my big question?

I'm a little bit busy at the moment.

-What are you doing?

-This one will hurt quite a lot.

-Ow!

-Is she giving you Botox in your Botox?

No, she's giving me nine inoculation injections, just in case that lizard

gave me a tropical disease.

-How many injections is the lizard getting?

-One big one, hopefully. Ow!

Is one of them to stop you turning into a dinosaur?

It's a lizard! I don't think lizard bites work like vampire bites.

I'm sure I'll be fine. Ow!

Nurse, could you leave the needles in?

And then his bum will look like a hedgehog.

That's a bit unorthodox. But sounds like a laugh. So yes, we'll do that.

What?! No, no, you could not! No, she can't do that.

Do you have to sit gawping?

Well, I need an answer! Could dinosaurs ever come back?

Dinosaurs can't come back, Little Howard.

They died out millions and millions of years ago.

Oh, this next needle looks enormous.

-She's going to have to take a run up for this one.

-You are not helping!

This one will be excruciatingly painful.

Do we have to give me these injections in my bottom?

We normally do them in your arm. But your friend

-said you'd prefer them in your bottom.

-What!? You...

-Hold still.

You little... AHHHHH!

I'll go and talk to Mother. Mother, could the dinosaurs ever come back?

Certainly. How about Tuesday afternoon?

-Brilliant!

-What's brilliant?

Whenever you think anything's brilliant, it's usually awful.

-Mother's bringing the dinosaurs back, on Tuesday.

-How?!

She could get the bus. Or her mother could drop her.

How could an entire species get the bus back from extinction?

-And who's the mother of all dinosaurs?

-Pat, from EastEnders?

Mother, why are telling Little Howard

he can bring the dinosaurs back?

-Oh, the dinosaurs! I thought you said Jenny.

-What?

-Easy mistake to make.

-What?!

You know, Jenny!

I thought you asked if Jenny could come round. Lovely girl.

"Jenny" doesn't sound anything like "dinosaur"!

Ah, but it does in German.

-Oh!

-I think I'm going to go back to bed.

Are the dinosaurs coming on Tuesday, or not?

I need to know whether I should tidy my room.

They are definitely coming round on Tuesday.

-Go tidy your room.

-She said Jenny was coming.

Oh, no. Jenny's been extinct for over 65 million years.

Oh, for goodness sake! Ow!

So, this picture is an example of a long extinct, giant lizard,

who lived between the triassic period, 250 million years ago,

and the cretaceous period, 65 million years ago.

And this is picture of Jenny, who lives round the corner.

Right you are. I've got it.

Good. Now...what's...this?

Um...hmm...no.

What about this one?

That is an ichthyosaur. They were giant marine reptiles,

who ate turtles and squid. And that's a lovely girl, Jenny.

I know her mother from Bingo. She won £50 last week.

Oh, yes, hello, hello, Mother Helpline, yes. Yeah, it's Mother.

She's, she's confusing dinosaurs

with a girl called Jenny, who lives round the corner.

Yeah, she's doing it again. OK, great, I'll do it.

So, just a firm, open-handed biff, on the side of the monitor.

Oh! That's a Tyrannosaurus Rex and that's Jenny.

-Oh!

-That's done the trick.

Great, thank you. Right, what shall we do now?

-I want to find another dinosaur.

-I'm afraid we can't.

I can. I just set another trap.

-Mother, what do Tyrannosaurus Rex's eat?

-Oh, er...

Never mind. Mother, can you explain that dinosaurs can't come back?

Oh, yes. Dinosaurs are extinct.

But how they got that way is open to scientific speculation.

One theory says there was a very severe ice age

and they couldn't survive in such a cold climate.

Another theory suggests an asteroid smashed into the earth,

wiping them all out.

-I think it was probably because they left the tap on.

-What?

They left the tap on and drowned. Not a lot of scientists agree.

Eek! Asteroid, definitely asteroids. Or, a huge flying pie.

Eek! Probably an asteroid.

OK, so the dinosaurs are extinct.

-Yes.

-So, where can we find one?

The Isle of Wight. No, I'm serious.

Oh, really?

They're always finding old dinosaur bones and fossils there.

If we want to bring the dinosaurs back,

-we should go.

-Brilliant! Where's the Isle of Wight?

I don't know.

I think you need to brush up on your geography, Big Howard.

Turned out the Isle of Wight's just underneath Hampshire, in the bottom

-of Britain. Handy that, isn't it?

-Where shall we start digging?

-Well, not here. This is the ferry.

-Is that not part of the Isle?

-Not technically.

-There might be dinosaur bones under our feet.

According to the deck plan, the only thing under us is a snack shop.

Let's dig down to the snack shop. I'm a bit peckish.

-Probably safest to use the stairs.

-Oh, right.

Where are we going to find these dinosaurs, then?

-We need to find a paleontologist.

-What's that?

I think it's an expert in buckets.

Right, a paleontologist, I see. That's probably Latin. Why?

Well, we're at the seaside. We'll need a spadeontologist as well.

Oh, I know. You stay here and keep an eye out, and I'll just go over here.

Oh, OK. See you in a bit.

I may be some time.

Somebody's painted these binoculars green!

I've been looking everywhere for you. What you doing?

Um, research?

What are we going to do now?

The lady in the..."fossil" shop says we should go

and see an expert at Dinosaur Isle.

OK, can I help you with any research? Carry any of it?

-Eat any of it?

-No, it's all mine. Afraid not.

-Let's go.

-Dinosaurs!

Wow, what are they?

Well, that looks like a letter J. It's probably Jurassic period.

There's the letter G and the letter E. This is

clearly a dinosaur school, where they learnt to read.

It says here, it's a 140 million year old fossil, called an ammonite.

-I meant that.

-I don't think dinosaurs could read.

They'd have read all the history books,

And stayed indoors on the day the meteor was going to hit them.

This is all very well, this ammonite stuff, but it's not...Wow!

Wow!

Cor!

Look at that!

Blimey, Big Howard, what's that?

Well, according to the sign, it's an iguana called Don.

No, it says it's an iguanodon. They lived 140 million years ago.

They ate mainly plants. It's very big for a vegetarian!

But what was his Christian name?

No, it doesn't look like a Don. It looks more like a Clarence.

-Or something like that.

-Holy diplodocus! Look at that?

What do you think that is?

Wow! Yeah.

I reckon this is...this is Paula.

-Paula?

-Yeah.

This is 125 million years old!

It's a seven metre long killer dinosaur, with razor sharp teeth

and claws that can tear your face off with one slash.

-Looks like the lady who works down the post office.

-What?

But you haven't been taking this seriously!

-I'm going to go find someone who knows...

-Sorry!

It does look like the woman who works down the post office.

Let me out!

Excuse me, something seems to have gone wrong with the lock.

Lock seems to be stuck. Hello?

Excuse me, my friend Big Howard has

accidently been locked in the gentleman's toilet, by me.

-Do you work here?

-I'm Steve, the curator -

the person who looks after all the fossils, in Dinosaur Isle.

-So, you're a paleontologist?

-Yeah, paleontologist.

Geologist, as well, to understand the rocks.

Am I right that a paleontologist is an expert in buckets?

Well, we often use buckets a lot, actually, to get all the muck off

the bones we're trying to get out. But mainly I look at ancient life.

Things which have been here and have died and got fossilised.

It is the study of ancient animals and plants.

But why are you looking for them on the Isle of Wight?

The oldest thing I've seen here was the snack shop lady on the ferry.

But when I asked if she was a dinosaur, she threw me out!

Didn't let Big Howard buy a flapjack.

When the dinosaurs were here, 125 million years ago, we were

on the same line of latitude, the same bit of geography,

that north Africa is today.

So, they lived and died and after the years of sediments piling

up on top, as the coast retreats, then these bits of bones fall out.

So they lived and died here, and got trapped.

It says in my Dinosaur Hunter's Handbook, that there are real

footprints of dinosaurs on the Isle of Wight. Is that true?

Go to Hanover Point, and as the tide comes in, clay falls down.

Out come these massive, concrete like, three-toed foot casts.

Right. I think I'll go and find them. Could you keep an eye on Big Howard?

He's still trapped in the loo. Just push some food under the door

-a couple of times a day for me?

-Yeah, we'll look after Big Howard.

Right, so this is Hanover Point.

Where are these dinosaur footprints?

Oh, look, there's one! Oh, no, that's my footprint.

Right, in the early cretaceous period, 140 million years ago,

this area was a boggy flood plain. Oh, maybe Mother was right.

They did leave the tap on.

Oh, my goodness, look at that! Wow! I can see its claws and everything.

Right, these are the footprints of an iguanodon.

And when it had left them,

they filled up with sand, blowing in the area.

And the sand went hard and left this impression.

That's amazing! These have been stuck in a bog

for 140 million years. Oh, that reminds me...

KNOCK KNOCK!

Is anybody there?

I've run out of toilet paper.

Honestly, I've finished.

That was amazing! Can anyone find dinosaur bones?

Yeah. The only problem is recognising what you're looking at.

There's loads of things which look like bones and aren't.

And lots of things which don't actually are.

-Can you help us find a dinosaur?

-You might not find a dinosaur,

but we will find fossils.

Brilliant! Well, I suppose we better let Big Howard out of the loo.

-So, what we looking for, then?

-Dinosaur bones tend to be black.

So, anything black amidst these rocks.

But you've got to look. That's a big oyster shell,

you can see the line between the two shells.

That's been washed out of these

tough rocks by the incoming tide, over many years.

Eventually, the floor of the lagoon sank, and the sea invaded.

Covered everything and laid down sandy rocks,

full of big oysters. There's a block of it.

This is limestone. It's full of fossil oysters.

Look, they're all over the place.

They've been trapped for 120 million years,

when this was part of a lagoon.

So look here, we can see all sorts of shapes.

Well, look, here, here's a sponge.

75 million years ago it died, and eventually its skeleton broke down,

and formed what we call flint.

What, 75 million years ago, I could have washed my face with that?

Well, you could, yes. If you'd been around then.

-Brilliant!

-Is this a dinosaur bone?

It's black but unfortunately, this is a piece of wood.

How do you test it?

Find a rock that is tougher than what you're going to try and mark.

Black. Black means it's got to be a piece of fossil tree. So, that was.

That black thing is bone.

But it's not dinosaur - it's from a shark. It's the spine of shark.

That's a shark's spine? Wow!

It's another indication of what the environment was,

120 million years ago - there was water all over the place.

So, it makes a great fossil.

Yeah, but I still haven't seen any bits of a dinosaur.

That's a piece of dinosaur.

Now, I know it doesn't look very much.

But if you look closely, see those little dots?

Those are bone cells which were broken as it washed up on the beach.

It could come from a meat-eating dinosaur, 10m long, even more.

Cool!

A sort of killer of iguanodon. We call it new hunter.

Brilliant! There must be loads more in the cliffs.

Let's start digging!

You get trapped in there, and I'll have to pull you out.

Or dig us out millions of years later.

What is the best thing that's been found on this beach?

Recently, another really nice dinosaur bone has been found.

-And I just happen to have it. Do you want to see it?

-Yeah!

At last, proper dinosaurs!

Now, this was found by a friend of mine, not that long ago.

Pretty fragile. One, two, three...

those are bones of the back.

Got to be quite a large plant- eating dinosaur, we call iguanodon.

And that name only means, "teeth like iguana".

-Brilliant. Can we look for some more?

-Of course we can.

-It would be nice to find the rest of this!

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

We'll find something round here. Big Howard, I've found something!

-There's a bit of black stuff there.

-Oh, great. What have we got here?

-Ah, you've got a piece of dinosaur poo.

-Dinosaur poo. Wow!

Brilliant. Cor, thanks very much for that, Steven.

-I'll just leave that, there.

-Ow!

Little Howard's been knocked unconscious by some dinosaur poo!

Oh, that was such a shame, because he was such a fan of dinosaurs.

Big Howard, Steven, where are you?

Actually, where on earth am I?

GROWLING Oh, there you are.

Big Howard, have you, have you eaten too much research?

You're looking a little bit green. A bit like...A MASSIVE DINOSAUR!!.

'The mighty Tyrannosaurus Rex bears down upon another hapless victim.

Who's that talking? Help, help!

HE SCREAMS

'Will Little Howard get eaten by the dinosaur? Of course not!

'But what cunning way will we find to get him out of it?

-'Excuse me, I'm narrating this bit.

-Oh, yeah?

'Who will win the punch up between the two narrators?'

Will you get on with it? I want to find out if I get eaten!

-'Sorry.

-Sorry.'

Tense? Nervous?

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So, isn't it time you switched to Rex Off?

Voted number one Tyrannosaurus Rex repellent of the cretaceous period.

'My name is Little Howard.

'I was struck on the head by dinosaur poo and I woke up

in the year 100 million BC. Am I mad, in a dream sequence, or back in time?

'Whatever happens, it's like I've landed on a different planet.

'Maybe if I can find out a reason, I can get home.' Where's my Rex Off?

RRROOOAAARR!

Well, thank goodness for advertising.

'What is a cartoon boy doing here?

'This is supposed to be a serious documentary.'

-Is it?

-'Yes.'

-So you actually brought the dinosaurs back?

'Um, uh, ah, um... Look over there, it's an anatotitan!'

Cool! Hello, fellas, what are you doing?

'While they are drinking, the ananotitans

'are attacked by a Tyrannosaurus.

'She easily catches a straggler and tucks right in.'

No! Leave him alone, you bully!

'She needs to provide breakfast for her young family.'

-What about me? I haven't eaten all day.

-'You are not a baby T-Rex.'

-I still need my breakfast, though.

-'The mum delivers a slab of meat.'

Oh, dear. Actually, I...

I'm not hungry. I just remembered I had a flapjack.

'At only four weeks old, competition is fierce amongst the chicks.'

After you, I insist.

'In two months time, the mother will abandon her chicks.

'If she doesn't decide to eat them, herself.'

What sort of a mother are you? This one's got the right idea.

'Already, the least agile of the chicks

'has been excluded from the feed.'

Never mind, hey? We'll try the snack shop on the way home.

Where is the ferry terminal? Maybe it's this way.

'The iguanodon's appetite is huge,

'and the herd travels in search of fresh vegetation.'

I'll follow these guys. They look like they know where they're going.

Wait for me!

'Most dinosaurs can only crudely slice food

'with their teeth. But iguanodons were the first herbivores with

-'back teeth, that can grind before swallowing.'

-Oh, my head.

'The iguanodon are being stalked.'

Oh, dear. I've had enough of this.

I'm out of here.

Oh, ow!

I love dinosaurs, but I've decided I don't want to live with them.

They're really nasty to each other.

I hope the dinosaurs don't come back.

HORN TOOTS

Oh, what's that noise?

Sounds like a car...

At last! Are you all right, Little Howard? I was worried.

Where's the Tyrannosaurus Rex?

-What, the fibre glass one, or the skeleton one?

-Real one!

The one that's going to eat her own children!

This sounds like one of your dream sequences.

But it can't have been. It seemed so expensive.

You, um, knocked yourself out on, on, on some dinosaur poo.

The doctor said you had concussion, so we had to come straight home.

There was loads of other stuff to see. But we couldn't do it.

-We must visit the Isle of Wight again one day.

-Yes, we must.

-Two cheers for the Isle of Wight!

-Just two?

-Well, let's not go mad.

Hi, Mother, we're home!

There you are, at last. Where on earth have you two been?

We've been to Hartleypool, Mother.

Oh, Hartleypool! Little island off the bottom of Hampshire.

Did you find out if the dinosaurs could ever come back?

Well, let's put it like this...

SNARL

# Will I ever chat to A velociraptor?

# Go one on one With an iguanodon?

# Will my eyes alight on An anatotitan?

# Will they ever focus On a diplodocus?

# Oh, will I see a T-Rex attack A stegosaurus's spiky back?

# Utahraptors hunting in packs Will the dinosaurs ever come back? #

# Will I share my packed meal With a terradactyl?

# Will I give my coleslaw To an ichyosaur?

# Give my fizzy pop To triceratops?

# Have a slice of cheese... # That's my cheese, give me my cheese!

# Sing the chorus To a brontosaurus

# Oh, will I see a T-Rex attack A stegosaurus's spiky back?

# Utahraptors hunting in packs

# Oh, will the dinosaurs ever come back?

# But a stegosaurus Is going to floor us

# And a terradactyl Will have me for a packed meal

# With an iguanodon I'll get stepped upon

# And a tyrannosaurus Is going to want to gore us

# I hope the dinosaurs don't come back

# Or else I'll be a T-Rex's snack

# I've seen a brontosaurus attack

# I hope the dinosaurs don't come back!

# Hope the dinosaurs don't come back Or else I'll be a T-Rex's snack

# I've seen a brontosaurus attack Hope the dinosaurs never come back! #

SPLASH!

I think that summed everything up.

I still don't think you should have kicked me into the sea.

-Seemed a good way to end.

-Next time I'll get a utahraptor onto you.

We've established we can't bring the dinosaurs back!

I can make some calls. Oh, is that a diplodocus?

No, I think that's a nudist.

Before we go, we also discovered something else on the Isle of Wight.

A collection of ancient fossilised jokes.

Paleontologists think these might be the oldest jokes in the world.

We thought they'd fit nicely into our show.

Yes, some of them aren't in good condition, I'm afraid.

Some of the triassic wisecracks are shoddy.

They were rude. Those plateosauruses should wash their mouths out.

But we thought we'd read you some of the best ones.

OK, I say, I say, I say, my diplodocus has got no nose.

Really? How does it smell?

It can't. Which means it doesn't detect predators

effectively! Luckily though, it also smells awful.

So most of them keep their distance anyway. Ha!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd