Miracles Lockie Leonard

# Worlds away from anyone Burning themselves out in the sun

# Worlds away from anyone

# They were burning themselves out in the sun

# Now it's just enough to get them far away

# Oooh

# Oooh, oooh, oooh

# Oooh, oooh, oooh

# Oooh, oooh, oooh. #

'Easter. A time for miracles.

'But as far as I could tell,

'there weren't many miracles happening in my part of the world.

'This was called Good Friday.

'Yeah, right!

'It was so good that everything was shut.

'Even the surf was shut.

'Flat as a fried egg dropped from a balcony.

'The only miracle I could think of

'was that everybody wasn't bored to death.'

Boys!

'Except Sarge, of course.

'He's never bored.'

This year... we are making our own Easter eggs.

-They're not Easter eggs!

-But they are, Phillip.

These are the real deal.

Dad, Easter eggs are made of chocolate.

Not round here, they're not.

This year, our Easter eggs are going to be hard-boiled,

-hand painted works of art.

-I hate hard-boiled eggs.

I can't poo when I eat those.

Boys, it is the start of a Leonard family tradition.

We'll decorate them and give them away. What've we got?

Paint, we've got brushes, bibs - all I need is a pot of boiling water.

-Oh! Here's some I prepared earlier.

-Sorry...did you just say bibs?

-As in what babies wear?

-A precautionary device only, Lockie -

in case you spill paint on yourselves.

This is going to be the most special Leonard family Easter ever.

Special?

'When the Sarge used "special" and "Leonard" in the same sentence,

'it meant one thing - embarrassment.

'Like the time Sarge thought up

'the special Leonard family advertising campaign

'for the blue-light disco.

'And the special Leonard family Christmas pageant

'on the busiest street in the universe.

'I would have had more fun pulling my own lungs out.

'And the special Leonard family tree-planting ceremony.

'Sarge called it Dance Of Life.

'But Sarge was a special kind of guy,

'and there was no taking that away from him.'

This will be THE most special Leonard family Easter ever,

guaranteed.

DOOR SLAMS

'Mum had that don't-muck-around-with-me look.'

Everything all right there, Joy?

Joy?

Oh, just doing a spot of washing.

Oh, hello! Is that the Easter Bunny?

Mr Bunny, I'm just ringing to let you know

that the Leonard family will be cancelling Easter this year.

Until they sort their broken-down, useless washing machine!

OK? Thank you so much. You have a lovely day.

Now. Who's for some tuna paddies for breakfast?

'Good Friday wasn't feeling real good.

'But there were three days of Easter to go

'and even though I didn't know it,

'there were going to be ten miracles by the time those days were over.

'And I was about to create the first of them.'

LOUD ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

Hey, Egg!

You know what's weird?

No, what?

You've lived next to the beach for 13 years

and you still don't know how to swim!

-I've...been busy.

-Well, good news.

MUSIC STOPS

I...! I've decided...

that I'm gonna sacrifice all the good things I had planned for Easter

and I'm gonna teach you.

-Lockie, that is so not happening.

-What?!

-Egg, wait. Why not?

-I hate sharks!

We'll swim where there aren't any sharks.

-I'm allergic to drowning.

-No-one's gonna drown, OK?

I'll be right there with you.

I'm not, repeat, N-O-T, I'm not going swimming!

Ah, Lockie! Your timing couldn't be better!

In a bit of a pickle about Sunday's big sermon.

Easter, you see.

The big E. Quite an event for people like me.

The pressure's on. So I've decided my sermon should be about miracles.

-'Egg knew what was coming.'

-That sounds good, Dad. Really, fantastic.

-'He tried his best to stop it.'

-Well, hey, since you're both here -

how about you have a listen to what I've written so far

and give me a few pointers? Especially on the jokes.

I want to be sure my timing's on the money.

'Miracle number one...'

Sorry, Dad. Lockie's gonna teach me how to swim.

'The Rev's sermon had created a miracle before he'd even read it.'

Swim?!

You wanna lose the footwear?

Hurry up.

And the socks!

You gotta promise - not a word to anyone?

Freaky toes.

'I could tell Egg was pretty sensitive about his weird toes.'

Man, they belong in a museum!

You gonna teach me to swim or make fun of my feet?

Hey, I promise, not another word. Let's go swimming.

'Egg had faith in me from the word go.

'He knew I wouldn't let anything happen to him.'

Let me drown and I'll never speak to you again.

Trust me, will you? That's what friends do - they trust each other?

Come on, look, you can stand. Come on!

Come out, come on. Come on!

'Miracle number two -

'Egg took to the water like a baby duck.

'Lots of enthusiasm but no talent.'

Nothing to it! I should have done this years ago!

Woo-hoo!

Look at me!

'It was her.

'The hot surfer.

'I didn't even know her name.

'But she could still make me forget important things like...

'oh, what was it?'

Egg!

Ah! Egg!

-I was swimming!

-Mate, that was called sinking.

I told you not to go out too deep.

Eugh, man, this stuff stinks.

Yeah, what is it?

'It didn't smell real good and it didn't taste too hot either.'

HE RETCHES

'You don't wanna watch this, it's really gross.

'Here, listen to some music.'

CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS

So how many times was he sick?

Oh, about...ten?

-Oh!

-'I actually felt OK,

'but I thought it'd be selfish not to let Mum fuss a bit.

'She really liked all that stuff.'

HE MUMBLES

He said he's fine.

HE MUMBLES

Chucking up made him feel better.

My tuna paddies! Maybe the tuna was off. Or the broccoli.

No, Mum. It's because I swallowed half the river.

What's that smell?

The other half which... ended up on me.

I was a natural!

-You should've seen me!

-You nearly drowned!

No way.

Let's do it again. Somewhere where there's no sharks and no slime.

Great news, Joy. Phoned the rabbit, Easter is back on track.

(New washing machine.)

'It was Council Clean-Up Week. Sarge had struck gold.

'Not one washing machine, but two!'

Ah? He-he-he!

'And while he tried to convince Mum

'that he could turn two broken-down machines into one that worked,

'Egg and I were on the trail of what made me so sick.'

-We need it analysed.

-Oh, take a lot of work. Long hours.

I'd have to miss Captain Chicken.

Forget TV. Think...headlines.

Yeah. "Young scientist solves pollution mystery."

Lisa would be impressed.

Hmm. On one condition - you buy me a proper Easter egg. Chocolate.

-Not a problem.

-Big one?

-OK.

-With nice wrapping?

OK, I promise!

Miracle number three -

Philip proved that he wasn't only interested in blowing things up!

He had a brain for science too.

After extensive analysis, I have arrived at three major findings.

First, the oxygen level in the water is very low.

Second, phosphorus is extremely high.

And third, there's an absence of naturally occurring microbes,

apart from one type of algae.

-Is...is there a shorter answer?

-It's a toxic milkshake.

I'm not surprised you got sick.

-But you didn't.

-I didn't swallow any!

Good thinking, Lockie(!)

We have to do something about this!

-About what?

-The river! It's sicker than I was! Come on!

'I'd found the perfect cure for Easter boredom.'

-Where are we going?

-To rally the troops!

'Launch a protest! Save our river!'

Don't forget my big chocolate egg!

'First stop - get our parents fired up.'

The river? Yes, that's excellent, Lock. Fighting the good fight.

Little bit tricky at the moment. I'm at a very delicate stage.

I'm balancing the bearings in the spin cycle. Just one sec.

Maybe if you talk to your Mum, Lock, right-o?

I'd love to help you clean up the river, really, but I'm very busy.

Hot cross buns!

Oh, they look simple enough in their cellophane wrappers,

all cosy on the supermarket shelf but...

when it comes to actually baking them yourself, ha-ha...

Now, is baking soda the same as baking powder

or is that cream of tartar?

OK, so the river's a big problem.

But what about my newsletter for the National Women Welders Association?

I'm the secretary! It's not even half done!

Is sisterhood one word or two?

Can we talk about this river thing after I've worked on my sermon?

Wait, wait.

Tell me what you think of this.

"Why did the chicken cross the road?

"To get to the Easter egg on the other side!" Ha-ha-ha!

What do you think?

I can find another one.

Wait, come back!

'No-one wanted to know about the river.

'So the next day,

'Egg and I went to see the one person I knew we could count on.

'Someone who cared - about the estuary, about the fish, about...

'well, everything.'

Mr East? We need your help.

We went swimming...

'One thing you can say about John East - he's a good listener.

'Egg and I spoke for ages about how sick the river was

'and he didn't interrupt us once.

-'Then, someone else did.'

-Uncle John?

-Have you seen my T-shirt?

-Um, have a look on the line, love.

-Oh, Dot, this is Lockie and Geoff. They're environmental warriors.

-Hi.

-Hi.

-Dot's my niece, she and her Mum are staying with me for a while.

'Miracle number four -

'it was her and finally - double miracle! I found out her name.

'Dot. The surfer girl. Living in John East's house!

'She was so close I could smell her sunscreen.'

Well, boys, I'm impressed with your passion.

It's good to see. Wait here.

'Egg was impressed by John East too.

'He really cared about what we'd said.

'Right at that moment, my brain decided to go on holiday.'

Here you go.

Two years ago, the government gave the local factories two years

to stop dumping chemicals in the river.

-Should take it home and give it a read.

-Cool, thanks, Mr East.

'I couldn't just let her walk past. I had to say something.

'Something smart. Something sophisticated. Something like...'

-Find your T-shirt?

-Nah.

Good luck, boys. Make your own way out.

I'm going back to bed.

We go to my place, we can type out some pamphlets on the computer.

-Lockie?

-Sorry?

Pamphlets? You know, information? To give to people?

Spread the word that the river's stuffed?

Um, yeah, your place, good.

Hey, can I meet you there later? I just...have to do some stuff.

What stuff?

'I couldn't tell Egg what stuff I had to do

'because he wouldn't understand.

'I didn't understand it myself.

'I just knew there was something I had to buy from the shops

'and it couldn't wait.

'I had to buy Dot a new T-shirt.'

That doesn't look like an Easter egg to me!

Easter eggs are round.

And chocolate! That looks like a T-shirt.

A girl's T-shirt.

And while Philip was complaining about me doing my stuff,

everybody else was doing theirs.

Two trusty machines, abandoned in the wilderness,

left to decay on the side of the road by people with no imagination.

But then...resurrection!

Behold...a new beginning.

I wanted a new machine.

Joy! They just don't make 'em like this any more. Trust me.

Give it a try.

HE WHISTLES CHEERFULLY

Oh, yes. That is absolutely miraculous.

Beautiful work, well done. Wonderful job!

Now, who wouldn't rather get one of these unique masterpieces,

than a silly old chocolate egg, eh?

It works!

Have you called the Easter Bunny back, Mum?

'Miracle number five -

'Sarge couldn't do a three-piece jigsaw puzzle

'but he managed to make the washing machine work.'

'The miracle I wanted

'was for Dot to think the T-shirt was her best Easter present ever.

'But after I'd bought it,

'I didn't have enough money left to buy the wrapping paper.

'So I had to think of something else. Fast.'

Phillip, will you just go to sleep?

I have to finish my special Easter card.

Card?

Yup, homemade and for someone very special.

'Oh! A card! I'd forgotten to leave a card with the T-shirt!

'How would Dot know it was from me? Would she even get it?'

Aargh!

-What's wrong?

-Nothing.

-You didn't forget to ring Egg, did you?

-What?

He called - he wondered where you were.

He said something about pamphlets.

LOCKIE GROANS

Didn't you say you would meet me at my place?

After you did your "stuff"?

And didn't you also promise to teach me how to swim?

Aaargh!

-What?

-Nothing.

Forget something, did you? Like buying me an Easter Egg?

'Ohhh! I'd forgotten to do so many things that day.

'I needed a whole Easter basket full of miracles!'

WHISPERS: Lockie. Lockie!

Thanks for the egg, it's perfect.

The Easter Bunny brought you one too.

I guess he didn't want you to feel left out.

'Miracle number six -

'the Easter Bunny came and saved my bacon.'

Happy Easter, boys.

Oh! Look at those beautiful eggs! What a surprise.

-WHISPERS:

-Don't tell Sarge.

Now, who's for some of my homemade hot cross buns?

It's the reason we're all here, sitting down, celebrating.

Easter...is the magnet that er, draws us all, er, together.

It's the main event...

-WHISPERS:

-Where were you?

-Sorry. Stuffed up.

I wrote the pamphlet myself. And it sucks.

And the reason why it's such a powerful drawcard is because...

the river sucks.

It's...polluted

and somebody's gotta fix it before we all start chucking our guts up.

'Miracle number seven -

'somehow, Egg's pamphlet had got mixed up with the Rev's sermon

'and the whole town got to know about our protest.'

I seem to have, er...

-WHISPERS:

-Sounded pretty good to me.

In fact, I'm impressed.

The chucking bit isn't too over the top?

'And Egg didn't hate me any more for forgetting to help him.

'And I realised, right then, what a good friend he was.'

Oh, let's just start over.

I mean, I've spent so much time working on this sermon,

writing, rewriting, trying to get it right.

But Easter isn't about anyone getting something wrong or right.

It's about much simpler things. Renewal, joy and hope.

So, why are we all here today?

Well, it seems to me that this question...

is as simple as asking -

why did the chicken cross the road?

Answer?

To get to the Easter egg on the other side.

CONGREGATION LAUGHS

'Miracle number eight -

'the Rev's sermon turned out to be a winner.

'After all that stress, he just made it up as he went along.'

I hear you're teaching Egg how to swim.

Yeah, sort of.

I think that's really nice.

Vicki!

Happy Easter.

Oh, thanks. It's beautiful.

'She was right, too. It was beautiful.

'Sarge's special Leonard Easter eggs were a huge hit.'

Just giving these to Lisa, Sarge. And Sarge - best Easter ever.

'That's when I decided to create my own special Leonard moment.'

That's it, you've got it, keep going!

Look at me go!

'Miracle number nine -

'I made a swimming machine

'out of leftovers from Sarge's old washing machines.

'Plus a few other bits and pieces

'which kept Egg safe from sharks in the harbour,

'away from the pollution in the river and he swam! Sort of.

'For the first time.

'Miracle number ten -

'Sarge was right.

'It was the most special Easter I'd ever had.'

Come on.

This is wicked!

Subtitles by Charlotte Farmer Red Bee Media Ltd

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