Episode 9 Ludus

Earth twerps! This is super important.

We have... Oh, wait a minute. This is not...

Oh, oh great. Somebody put my chair the wro...

It was you! Wipe that smirk off your face! Huh!

Hi, I'm Ludus. Yes, you've guessed it, I'm the bad guy.

Ha-ha. It's my job to upload the friends and families

of three Earth twerps into my game... for...ever. Horror show!

The Earth twerps are flying to the levels of Ludus to play my games

and rescue their loved ones. Want to play, too?

Then download my free app from the CBBC website.

Time to take on, once more, the levels of Ludus!

'Welcome on board the Herculean.

'I'm the ship's computer and your guide through the levels of Ludus.

'My data processing is detecting the presence of three gamers

'from the Earth location of Edinburgh.'

'Gamer number one - Alsadeg.

11 Earth years old.

'A fierce break dancer.

'Gamer number two - Julia.

'Also 11.

'A clever gamer who loves to trampoline.'

'Gamer number three - Helen.

'Also 11. Can't live without her phone.'

'Good luck getting a signal out here.

'Gamers, you have been in hypersleep

'and are now flying through deep space.

'We don't have much time before your mission begins.

'Prepare for your briefing!

'Your mission is to rescue your friends and family

'who have been turned into holograms by the dastardly Ludus.

'To rescue them you must visit six levels,

'each with a different game to play.

'Win, and you will save your friend in a holobox to download on Earth.

'Lose, and they'll be uploaded into Ludus' game for all time.

'Time to find out who you're playing to save.

'Alsadeg.'

I'm playing to save Franklin and my mum.

-'Julia.'

-I'm playing to save my mum and my dad.

-'Helen.'

-I'm playing to save my mum and my friend Libby.

'Are you ready to take on the levels of Ludus?'

ALL: Yes!

'Then, Pilot, let's fly to Level 1.'

THEY SCREAM

It's nearly time for Level 1.

Download my app and play along.

'Download the app now. Game begins shortly.

'Attention, gamers, we are now docking at Level 1.'

'This is a multiplayer game. Prepare to disembark.'

'Collecting data. Team comprises of two females and one male.

'Bravery: 82%. Nerves: 96%. Status: ready.'

Well, looky-doodly-do. What have we here?

Three puny gamers hoping to win back their friends and family.

Ha-ha-ha! So you think your tough, do you?

ALL: Yeah, we do!

Whatever! Listen up, Earth twizzlers,

cos here's how you play the game.

In this game you must take it in turns to catapult your ticks

at the block of ice and smash it to smithereens.

But watch out for my bugs.

It'll take a lot of hits to smash the ice, so you'd better be fast.

Win, and I'll save one of your precious Earth twerps.

Lose, and they'll be uploaded into my game...for...ever.

So, who you going to play for first?

Alsadeg's mum or friend, Franklin?

Julia's mum or dad? Or Helen's mum or friend, Libby?

THEY CONFER

-We choose Libby.

-Yeah, we choose Libby.

Oh, I like this one. Take your place at the table.

'Gamers, you have 60 seconds to win back Helen's friend, Libby.'

Are you ready at home?

The game begins in three, two, one - GO!

So, the Earth twerps have 60 seconds

to smash the ice to smitheroonies.

They've had two hits so far but I'm not going to lie.

These guys look pretty lousy.

Miss, ha-ha! Safe.

Oooh, but a sneaky rebound there.

Hmm, they're starting to get the hang of it now.

Couple of hits and the ice is starting to crack.

'30 seconds.'

Miss, ha-ha!

It's a miss, ha-ha, ha-ha. I like it when they miss.

-'20 seconds.'

-I know what you're thinking.

How can three Earth twerps be so dreadful at games.

I don't know. It blows my mind too.

-Ha-ha-haa!

-Come on, guys.

-'Ten...nine...'

-It's the final countdown.

Have they got enough time to smash the ice?

I've got a feeling about this, which is strange

cos I don't usually feel anything.

'One. Gamers, you have lost.'

Ha-ha-ha! They lost!

I told you you were just puny Earth twerps!

I'm bigger and better than all of you guys.

-Ugh... Ha-ha. It doesn't matter how big you are.

-Your head's huge.

You guys are sore losers.

I told you this would happen.

Your game play was lame.

You've lost. Your friend is stuck in the game.

'Commiserations, gamers, you've lost Helen's friend, Libby,

'but all is not lost. You still have five of your friends

'and family to win back.'

-Woo!

-Yeah!

-Whoa!

-Yeah!

-Whoa!

'Pilot, let's fly to Level 2.

'The gamers seem to be experiencing an unpleasant smell

'in the ship's cabin. My sensors are unsure of its source

'but gamers seem to think it's come from one of them.

'Very odd human behaviour.

'The next level is a single player game.

'Selecting player with best sense of smell.

'Helen has been selected. Stand by.'

'Helen loves to read.

'Let's hope she's read lots of self-help books on how to win

'computer games and beat Ludus.'

Oh, well look at you.

You look like an Earth twerp who means business.

But don't get too confident, cos here's a really hard game.

OK, let's run the rules.

Tread carefully, there's only one safe path to the tick here

and you've only got a smidgen of time to memorise it.

You'll then need to retrace the path by pressing

one square at a time.

Take a wrong turn and you'll have to start again.

I'm only going to give you 60 seconds.

Win, and you'll save one of your precious Earth twerps.

Lose, and they'll be uploaded into my game...for...ever.

So, Earth twerp, who are you going to play for?

Alsadeg's mum or friend, Franklin?

Julia's mum or dad? Or your mum?

-I'll pick Alsadeg's mum.

-Didn't want to pick your own mum, huh?

I feel like picking someone different today.

#Whatever. Take your place at the table.

'Gamer, you have 60 seconds to win back Alsadeg's mum.'

Are you ready at home?

The game begins in three, two, one - go.

Helen must memorise the path that leads to the tick.

It's a long road.

Will she be able to do it?

Nah, she went wrong straight away. Ha-ha-ha-ha! Great.

Oh, wrong again. Whoa, ha-ha-ha-ha!

-'40 seconds.'

-She got it wrong aga...

Oh no, she seems to have figured out the way.

Which way are you going to go now, Helen? Wrong!

Hi, bugs. Ha-ha. Start again.

That's right. That's right.

Hmm, she's taking her time here,

just having a little think.

Yeah, that's right. That's right.

Oh, she may have figured this one out.

Which way is she going to go now?

Yeah, she got it right. Hmm, that's pretty good.

Hah! Start again! Ha-ha.

There's only ten seconds left.

Is it enough time to get all the way to the tick?

Does she know which way to go?

Will she learn by her mistakes?

-No! Ha-ha-ha-aa!

-'Gamer, you have lost.'

I told you this would happen.

Your game play was lame.

You've lost. Alsadeg's mum is stuck in the game.

-I'm sorry.

-Never mind.

'Commiserations, gamers. You've lost Alsadeg's mum.

'How do you feel?

-To be honest, I'm really sad.

-'Don't be too disheartened.

'There's still four more friends and family to win back.'

-Yeah!

-'So pilot, let's fly to Level 3.'

'The gamers appear to be displaying strange physical behaviour.

'Is this a bonding exercise? Or should I seek medical assistance?

'Fancy footwork, Alsadeg.

'Gamers, stop prancing and dancing immediately

'and prepare for Level 3.'

'Progress review. Team have yet to win back a holobox.

'Bad times. However, determination levels

'are hitting an all-time high at 78%. Good times.'

Hi! Welcome to Level 3.

It's your time to shine and, boy, do you need to work on your shine.

-Luckily I can recommend a great conditioner.

-I don't need it.

-I got this.

-Oh, cool. Can I borrow that? Actually don't bother.

OK, time for the next game.

And it's one of my favourites.

In this game you need to match the bugs on the bottom bar

with the bugs in the middle of the screen.

Don't see the bug? Hit the blue arrow to pass.

You've got 60 seconds, but if you lose, your precious Earth twerp

will be uploaded into my game for...ever.

So, who you going to play for?

Will it be Alsadeg's friend, Franklin?

Julia's mum or dad? Or Helen's mum?

-D'you think we should choose Julia's dad?

-Yeah.

-I want to choose my mum.

-We have to decide as a team.

-Two against one wins.

-OK, fine.

-ALL: Julia's dad.

-Take your place at the table.

-'Gamers, you have 60 seconds

-'to win back Julia's dad.'

-Are you ready at home?

The game begins in three, two, one - GO!

Oh, the first pair match.

Oh, and the second one.

And the third one.

Hey, these kids are really flying through this already.

Yeah, they matched that one up.

Cool, and that one too, huh.

Uh-huh, got that one wrong, yeah!

'40 seconds.'

OK, fact fans, a little thing for you here.

Did you know I came up with this game when I was pairing my socks?

True fact. Must have been pretty weird socks actually, huh?

How are you doing at home? Are you going this quickly?

This is pretty amazing, isn't it? I did not expect this.

Oh, no!

'Gamers, you have won.'

In your face!

Oh, no, you won! Did somebody give you new brains?

-How did you do that?

-We're gifted.

-Whatever.

I'll get you back on Level 4.

'You can now collect your holobox and return to the Herculean.'

Yes!

'Congratulations, gamers.

-'You have won back Julia's dad.'

-Raise the roof!

'Julia, you can now load your dad into the holoport to download later.

'Pilot, let's fly to the next level.

OK, look, are all you Earth twerps at home playing these games?

On your phones, or your tablets, or your retina implants?

-RESPONSE IN AN ALIEN LANGUAGE

-Right, no, you don't have those yet.

Huh! OK, but come on! Download the app.

I want to beat all of you.

'Attention, gamers, the next level is a single player game.

'Alsadeg selected.'

'Alsadeg says he wants to be famous.

Let's hope he doesn't end up being a famous loser.'

-Oh, it's the cool kid. Are you ready?

-I was born ready.

It's pretty lonely out there, isn't it, Earth twerp?

-I can do this on my own!

-Excellent.

All right, here comes the science.

Turn on the lights by hitting them with your tick.

You can do this by turning the cog.

But watch out, the tick can also turn the lights off.

To win, you need to have both the lights on

at the end of 60 seconds. Oh, I forgot to mention, one of my bugs

might make an appearance just to get in your way.

And if you lose, you know what will happen.

So, who you going to play for this time?

Will it be your friend, Franklin?

Julia's mum? Or Helen's mum?

I choose Helen's mum.

-Are you choosing her because you think you'll lose?

-Maybe.

I like your style. Ha-ha!

So, let's do this. Take your place at the table.

'Gamer, you have 60 seconds to win back Helen's mum.'

Are you ready at home?

The game begins in three, two, one - go!

So, Alsadeg's got to turn both of the lights on

and keep them on until the end of the game.

Can he do it? Hope not. Ha-ha-ha-ha!

He's got a pretty good control of the wheel there

but, yeah, one of the lights is off.

Ohhh, and here's Connor.

Ha-ha.

-'40 seconds.'

-Connor's been practicing all week

for this game by going on roundabouts

and sleeping in washing machines.

He's got a little hamster wheel he goes round in.

Imagine that! Connor in a hamster wheel? Hilarious, ha-ha-ha.

Both of the lights off now, this is fantastic!

Alsadeg really not doing very well, and here's Connor.

-'20 seconds.'

-This is one of his favourite games, actually.

He's always like, "Ludus, can I play that game again?"

and I'm like, "Not now, Connor. Was that worth waking me up for?

"Come on, seriously."

Alsadeg having a big spin of the wheel there!

Oh, wait a second, it's the final countdown!

Here we go! He's got both lights lit up!

He's looking pretty smug! Oh, nooo! Un-bearable.

-'Gamer, you have won.'

-I won.

Huh, you were so smug at the end.

I kind of loved how you styled that out.

-Watch I don't launch you into to space, Alsadeg.

-Better not.

'You can now collect your holobox and return to the Herculean.'

Yes! Woo!

'Congratulations, gamers, you have won back Helen's mum.

'Helen, you can now load your mum into the holoport to download later.

'Gamers, you still have two people left to save.

'So far I can confirm you have saved Julia's dad and Helen's mum.

'Unfortunately, Helen's friend, Libby,

and Alsadeg's mum weren't so lucky.

Alsadeg and Julia selected for two-player game.

'Confidence levels: 89%.

'Nerves: 32%.

'Level 5.'

Oh, hey, Julia. Hey, Alsadeg. You're looking suitably pathetic.

This game is what I thought of while I was on holiday, in the hard drive.

Listen up.

In this game you must work as a team

and use your bats to stop your precious tick

from hitting the spiky walls.

Too easy? Sure it is.

And that's why my bugs will be flash mobbing you.

You have 60 seconds.

If you hit the spikes more than five times, you will lose

and your precious Earth twerp will be uploaded into my game for...ever.

So, who are you going to choose? Alsadeg's friend, Franklin?

-Or Julia's mum?

-We'll...

-Erm...

-Your mum.

-Oh, OK.

We want to play for Julia's mum.

OK, take your place at the table.

'Gamers, you have 60 seconds to win back Julia's mum.'

Are you ready at home?

The game begins in three, two, one - GO!

Oh, hi, bugs! Look at this, the bugs really look like

they're ready to do business.

Spike - great work, team. Well that's one spike.

Remember, they can't get any more than five spikes

if they want to win. And, uh, I'm pretty sure they do.

Well, that was unlucky. They managed to dodge all the bugs there.

Well these guys have got into a pretty irritating rhythm.

Bugs, time to step up and see what you can do.

Come on, bugs - let's see if we can get a spike here.

Oh! Spike! That's two spikes. Great work, team.

'20 seconds.'

Pam! Pom! And that little tick back and forth.

Hmmm, let's hope we get another spike soon, huh? Oh, yes, spike!

That's three spikes - they can afford two more.

'Seven...six...five...four...'

Time's running out! I won't lie to you, I'm feeling intensely irritated

by these Earth twerps. Doh-oh!

'Gamers, you have won.'

-High five.

-Woooo!

-H-How do you feel?

-Amazing!

-Awesome!

Uh, Julia's mum would have looked great in my collection.

Oh, no matter.

'You can now collect your holobox and return to the Herculean.'

'Congratulations, gamers. You have won back Julia's mum.

'Alsadeg, you can now load Julia's mum into the holoport

'to download later.

'Selecting player for the next level.

'Julia selected. Julia can speak Polish as well as English.

SPEAKS POLISH

'As she demonstrates with some fighting talk for Ludus.'

'She also sings in a choir. Let's hope she's on song now.'

Aha! I've been waiting to see you face one of my games alone.

I think you're the Earth twerp's secret weapon.

Why do you think they would choose me for last?

I don't know. Maybe it's your boots.

Oh, that's actually some nice boots.

-Thanks!

-Yep, there's no time for fashion chitter-chatter.

Let's run the rules!

In this game you must push the tick and land it on the round target.

To steer the tick, use the paddles.

Push it too hard and you'll hit the laser beam.

But beware, my bugs will be getting in your way.

You need to land two ticks on the target in 60 seconds.

But if you lose, your precious Earth twerp will be uploaded

into my game for...ever.

There's only one Earth twerp left for you to play for.

It's Alsadeg's friend, Franklin.

Take your place at the table.

'Gamer, you have 60 seconds to win back Alsadeg's friend, Franklin.'

Are you ready at home?

The game begins in three, two, one - go!

Julia's starting off with a gentle push there.

A little nudge from a bug - good work, Dion.

Another slow tick there but dodging the bugs nicely.

It's looking good! Is she...? Oh no!

Dion, good work. Just missed the target there. Ha-ha!

OK, well that is too slow.

Whoooh! Uh-oh, that was pretty dreadful, Julia.

Come on, I think she's getting the hang of it now.

Ooh, good steering there.

Oh... No, bug! Ha-ha!

Yes, they're horrible.

OK, well Julia's going for the incredibly slow...tick tactic here.

Let's see if she can... Dion is on fire today.

Good defence!

Only ten seconds to go. Oh, no, she's starting to panic.

This is the kind of thing I love.

Laser beam! She's losing it!

Oh, no! And she's lost.

-I knew it!

-'Gamer, you have lost.'

Ha-ha! Even with those boots, you still managed to lose.

I'm so sorry, Franklin.

I told you this would happen. Your game play was lame.

You've lost. Your friend is stuck in the game.

It's OK, Julia. You did... You did really good.

'Commiserations, Julia.

'You have played six levels and won back three holoboxes.

'Unfortunately, Helen's friend, Libby, Alsadeg's mum,

and his friend, Franklin, have been uploaded

'into Ludus' game for all time.

'But now you must face Ludus

'one more time to win your own tickets home.

'Pilot, fly at warp speed to the final level.'

THEY YELL

'Gamers, hold tight.'

'Gamers, we are now docking at the final level.

'Ludus is waiting for you.

'Team status for final game.

'Courage: 78%. Fear of Ludus: 38%.'

Well, hey-diddly-doody, and a packet of peaches.

If it ain't the three toughest gamers I've ever seen?

And it ain't!

But so, it's time for the final game.

One of these ticks is your return ticket home.

Who knew? All you have to do is keep an eye on it.

If you pick the right tick

you'll win a return ticket home and go back to Earth. Hooray!

But if you pick my bug you will be stranded here,

in the levels of Ludus...for...ever

and you'll have to work for me.

And trust me, you won't like it.

Got it?

Alsadeg, take your place at the table.

See if you can catch your ticket home.

Come on, you can do it.

Keep your eye on the ticket.

It's time to mix the ticks.

And do you know which one it is?

Oh, I can't believe you won.

'Gamer, collect your return ticket home.'

Yeah! Well done, Alsadeg!

-Yeah, in your face! Oh!

-Oh, pipe down.

Julia, let's see what you're made of.

It's time to mix the ticks.

Are you sure, Julia?

Oh, no!

-Unlucky.

-Oh, bad luck Julia.

We're going to be virtual neighbours.

You're going to see me every day. Hah!

Helen, step up and do your finest.

Do it, Helen.

And are you playing along at home?

It's time to mix the ticks.

Do you know which one it is?

-Ha-ha-haa!

-Yay! You stay with me!

Hey, you know Earth? You know Earth, right?

Not any more, ex-Earth twerp!

You're stuck in this cyber nightmare!

You, me, and Julia's boots.

Ohhh, we're going to have so much fun!

-At least you're with me.

-Oh, I'm going to be sick.

Alsadeg, you and your comb may be heading home

but in my eyes you'll always be a loser.

So, now scram!

-Bye!

-Bye, Alsadeg.

'Winning gamers must board the Herculean

'immediately for departure'

-Bye!

-Get outta here, will ya?!

Julia and Helen, you've lost.

So, by the powers invested in me ya-di-blah-di-blah-di-blah...

you must stay on this level of Ludus for all eternity.

-Sounds good, right?

-Uh-uh-uh!

-In your dreams.

'Alsadeg, please present your ticket.

'Congratulations, you are a champion gamer.

'You have rescued three of your friends and family.

'The Herculean will now take you and your loved ones home.'

-Bye, Alsadeg!

-Bye!

-Have fun! We'll miss you!

Whoa! That was a whole heap of fun with a side order of skinny games.

Join me next time when I'll be meeting three more brave

Earth twerps and watching their faces as I upload

their friends and family into my game.

Hah! Until then, goodbye!

Did you play along at home?

How did you do? Better than those guys, huh?

Why not download my free app from the CBBC website

and play along next time?

Ha-ha!