Army Marrying Mum and Dad

Marrying Mum And Dad is back!

CHEERING

Argh! Argh!

Get ready for more crazy parents handing over total control

of their wedding day.

The kids are in charge. They can do whatever they want!

They have no idea what's about to happen.

Are you ready for a huge surprise?

They have to wait until their wedding day to find out.

LAUGHTER

It's a massive risk.

And we have got less than four weeks to organise everything!

Awesome!

On today's Marry Mum And Dad, we have got a family where the kids

are already in command.

I now pronounce you, Jade and Teanna, now officially 100%

in charge!

CHEERING

I see you walking down the street and I think "Bride!"

They are going all out to earn their wedding planner stripes.

SCREECHING

But, as disaster strikes,

will the big day be over before it's even begun?

It's broken down.

-We are about to find out.

-Because we're...

ALL: Marrying Mum And Dad!!

CHEERING

Welcome to Marrying Mum And Dad - the only show anywhere that helps

-you plan your parents' wedding.

-Yes, you.

Mum and Dad - nah, nope, nada.

You are in control. What you say goes,

but with less than four weeks until the big day,

the pressure is on.

So, we'd better move fast. It's quick march to Hertfordshire.

-Meet Jade.

-I love my mum and my stepdad, Andy. They are so much fun.

And I can't wait for them to get married.

Jade wants to pull off a wedding for her mum Jo and her stepdad, Andy.

So, she has commandeered some extra troops

-for this highly-classified planning.

-I have got a little sister

called Evie, but she is only two, so she is not helping me.

-She is.

-Yay!

-We are...

-best friends!

Jade likes to take a lot of selfies.

Guilty, as charged.

I would say that Teanna was a really bubbly person

and, like, always makes me laugh.

Selfie addict Jade and best friend Teanna have got just four weeks

to plan the big day and their idea means Mum and Andy are in for

a very different sort of wedding march.

-This is going to be...

-the absolutely strangest...

-most fabulousest...

-muddiest...

-wedding ever.

And the theme is...

BOTH: Army.

-Wow! Army. This is going to be tough.

-It's going to be muddy.

It's going to be physical!

-It's going to be cold.

-It's going to be great.

Mum and Andy, they are going to love this!

Are you sure?

They'd better be made of stronger stuff than me.

-Argh!

-Oh, Ed, I'm sure the girls have thought this through.

I would describe my mum's style as very unique.

It's very pink and glittery.

One word....

BOTH: Sparkles!

Oh, Mum doesn't sound anything like the army type.

Luckily, with the girls in charge, she is expecting...the worst.

Jade and Teanna organising our wedding

is scary, fun, exciting... But I'm petrified!

-You're right to be worried, Mum.

-I think, like, a dog tag

would be pretty cool.

These girls already have plenty of ideas for everything they will need

to pull off the big day, including transport, outfits,

some entertainment, a venue to hold it all in and even a cake.

They're cool. Look, you can get coloured ones and wooden ones.

Oh, they're nice.

But it sounds like Mum might have some very different ideas

of what her wedding day should look like.

If I was going to choose, I would love to have a glamorous wedding.

'Very princessy. Any girl wants that kind of fairytale wedding.'

Well, this fairytale might see you getting mud under those

manicured, painted nails.

-Whoa.

-Whoa.

Time is already ticking,

so the first stop for the girls is an army outfitter's, where they

decide what kit the bride and groom will be issued for their big day.

What about this one?

With uniforms being such a big part of army life,

Jade and Teanna choose a smart officer's outfit for Andy.

-LAUGHING:

-For Andy!

'Mum's dress is a bit more complicated.

'The girls need to figure out what a bride can wear

'for a military marriage.

'And I'm going to help spark some ideas.'

How about Mum's wedding dress... like this?

A plain white wedding dress, Naomi?

-It's no surprise that the girls are totally unimpressed.

-No?

Are you not feeling this? You don't think Mum would like any glamour?

-It needs a bit more, like, jazzing up.

-Let's do it.

-Let's go.

These girls want to create a wedding dress with a difference for Mum.

'So it's time to turn this frumpy frock into one

'fit for an army bride.'

Oh, yeah, this is very bridal(!)

-That.

-It's got its little veil as well.

Lose the tiara!

-Come on - get rid of that.

-Oh, yes!

-Hey, look - she can lift this to kiss Andy.

-Yeah!

THEY LAUGH

-Ooh, this is just the thing(!)

-Come on. There you go.

-Girls, have you ever heard the phrase, "Less is more"?

-No.

-No.

-Not at all.

-No.

-I think more is more.

-Ooh!

-Yeah.

-What's that?

-What is it?

-Just like a bride.

-Yes.

-Just like a bride.

How many brides have you seen look like this?

-I see you walking down the street and I think...

-BOTH:

-Bride!

THEY SING MENDELSSOHN'S WEDDING MARCH

'It might say "bride" to the girls, but Mum is a beautician

'and for her, a wedding dress means only one thing.'

'My ideal wedding dress would either be white or pink.'

Very princessy, bit over the top. Very glamorous.

'Princessy and glamorous? Not this dress.'

-Do you think Joanne would burst into tears if she saw me right now?

-Yes.

But the girls have a great idea that will bring some colour

and sparkle to the muddy greens of the camouflaged background.

Let's add the bling!

-I have an idea.

-Oh, they're pretty, look.

-Oh, it looks lovely.

-Don't ever go into wedding dress design, OK?

-OK!

What do you think?

-Wedding dress mess, everybody.

-Yeah.

Prototype wedding dress...well,

it could do with a little bit of refining.

'Jade and Teanna's camouflaged mashup has thrown up some good ideas

'but, frankly, they need a professional to take over.'

'Luckily, they've got a dressmaker on standby.

'The girls now need to get all their ideas to her,

'and there's only one way to do it.'

ALL: Wedding dress selfie? Yeah!

'Just need to brief the dressmaker to make sure Mum doesn't get

'lost in the camouflage, and I'd say that's outfits sorted.'

To get Mum and Andy to the wedding, the girls are thinking big,

really big.

We'll definitely be able to get a tank.

You heard right, they want a tank.

If Jade and Teanna can pull this off, it will be epic.

I think my mum would have to, like, be able to see out of it,

because she's a bit claustrophobic.

The problem is that tanks for wedding transport aren't that easy to find.

You're not kidding, Naomi.

But after a major online session, the girls may have hit pay dirt,

and they can barely believe it.

Hello, have you got any tanks for hire?

MAN: 'Um, yes, we have.'

With only a week until the wedding, it's time to go tank shopping!

By the way, Naomi, we should probably talk

about where I parked your car.

NAOMI GASPS Ed!

Well, we're definitely in the right place for tanks. Let's get stuck in.

Forward march!

Ah, a field full of tanks. I'm sure this is exactly where Mum

would come to choose her ideal wedding transport.

If I was going to pick my transport, it would be horse and carriage,

very girlie. That'd be me.

Unlucky, Mum. Yet again, Jade and Teanna's ideas are many muddy miles

away from your wedding day dreams.

-Oh, it's very luxurious(!)

-Urgh!

-There's a cobweb.

How do you think Mum's dress would fare, getting in and out of this?

-Oh, my goodness.

-Going to get ripped to shreds, isn't it?

-Yeah.

Mum's dress might get a bit muddy,

but that's not going to put the girls off,

especially as they're about to take one of these things for a spin.

SHE SQUEALS

Let a 12-year-old loose on a tank? What are we doing?!

Well, Ed, remember this is no ordinary wedding.

If Jade is looking a bit nervy behind the wheel, imagine how Mum

and Andy will feel on the big day.

Their arrival is sure to cause a real splash.

Jade's had her go, now it's time for Tianna

to jump into the hot seat.

-Your mum said she wanted a horse and carriage, didn't she?

-Yeah.

-You don't think she might be right after all?

-No.

That was the most amazing thing I have ever done.

The girls are delighted with the tank as their wedding day ride,

and as ever, they've got a sparkling idea to give it a unique twist.

-I think that one's cool.

-You like this one?

-Ooh.

-Yeah.

-I have a beautiful vision for this.

-Yeah, like...

-Really? What's your vision?

-Jewels everywhere.

-Jewels?

-Yeah.

-Sparkles.

-Yeah, and glitter.

-So you want to girlie it up a bit?

-Mm-hm.

It's going to be a lot of work to take this to the next level

that you're talking about.

-Think they can do it?

-BOTH: Yes.

-OK. Tank sorted, then.

HE MAKES ENGINE AND EXPLOSION NOISES

Transport sorted -

as long as we can find a tank's-worth of sequins.

'Next up, the girls need a location to put on all this army action.'

-Where are you going to hold this wedding?

-Just, like, an army base.

-What do you see it looking like?

-Just, like, a massive field...

-Mud, trees... Just greeny colours.

-Yeah.

But isn't an army base the sort of place

Mum and Andy would like to get married?

I think we might already know the answer.

-I could see myself in a castle.

-Yes.

-I'd like that experience.

Yeah, it'd be nice, wouldn't it? Quite romantic...

-With a big drawbridge coming down.

-Yeah, "Here I am!"

Ha-ha-ha-ha(!) Not sure Mum and Andy would be laughing

if they could see the wedding venue the girls might be about to book.

This outdoor activity centre is geared up to give a taste

of army strategy in action.

In particular, the element of surprise.

It definitely needs to have an army theme, doesn't it?

GIRLS SCREAM

Oh, my gosh!

This is Mike, who is an expert in camouflage.

We're challenging Jade and Teanna

to check out their surroundings by blending into them.

-I feel like you just put a big blob on my face.

-I did!

-Great(!)

-I've always wanted to look like a bush(!)

-Me too(!)

It's my life's dreams all in one day(!)

Bridesmaid, there you go.

Do you think bridesmaid doesn't want to look like this?

I should be a model.

MIKE: I think we can go and hide. Guys, just stay there.

Nice and quiet. Just put that over there.

Don't worry - Naomi won't find you.

GIRLS SQUEAL

-Let me just get a bit more.

-Oh, my God - there's a spider on you!

-SHE SQUEALS

NAOMI: 'These girls don't exactly seem at one with nature.

'Shouldn't be too hard tracking them down.'

Teanna? Jade?

They're giggling. GIRLS SQUEAL

NAOMI LAUGHS

Very good, very good.

'But the camouflage caper has convinced Jade

'and Teanna that this is their perfect venue.'

-What do you think of this place, then?

-I think it's really cool.

-It's nice.

-It might suit your theme quite well. We've got the trees, we've got leaves, mud...

I can imagine, like, a proper army base,

like, going on everywhere around here.

'With an indoor space where the ceremony can take place,

'this venue has got it all.'

We could have, like, some army camouflage bunting, just like...

-Nice!

-..around the walls or something.

-And maybe, like, we could put some plants everywhere.

-Yeah.

-Add some leaves.

-Outdoors-y.

-Yes.

Do you think we can say this is venue sorted? BOTH: Yeah.

One wedding day army base located.

At ease, troops.

So far, the girls have sorted wedding outfits, transport and venue,

but they say an army marches on its stomach.

Right, so talk me through this, then.

So, this is, like, an army tent..

-Mm-hm.

-..and then this is an obstacle course.

-Brilliant.

-So it kind of like pictures the whole day in a cake.

-It's a scene.

-And lots of mud.

-Yeah.

-Chocolate.

-Chocolate mud.

'First we need to try out their ideas at an underground baking bunker.'

So what do you want to start doing to this training cake?

-The assault course, maybe?

-Yeah.

'I think it's safe to say that an assault course cake is

'a far cry from any wedding cake that has ever existed.'

All this goes in my mouth.

THEY GIGGLE

'This hacked-up mud-strewn wedding cake isn't looking too great

'at the moment.'

Come on - this is cake camp!

-GIRLS GIGGLE

-Yes, sir!

So Jade rolls out some coloured icing to give the muddy,

lumpy terrain a greener look.

Very nicely done!

'The next stage is to make edible versions of all the things

'you'd find in an army camp.'

So we've got mud made out of cake,

wood chips made out of chocolate, stones made out of icing...

It's looking good.

As the girls start to add obstacles, like tyres for an assault course,

this practice cake is getting a teeny bit nearer to their original drawing.

They look very cool, actually.

'But let's be honest, we're going to need to call in the professionals

'to deliver Jade and Teanna's

'original vision in sponge for the big day.'

-Cake sorted?

-BOTH: Cake sorted.

A good start. It just needs a little...ATTENTION!

It's just days before this army wedding

needs to be ready for action,

and the girls are thinking entertainment.

You want it to be outdoors quite a lot?

Yeah, so it gives it, like, a muddy feeling.

It's for your mum, mainly, is it? You want to get your mum a bit muddy?

Yeah.

'And as the girls spot this muddy army assault course in the middle

'of these muddy woods, there's only one thing for it.'

Let's give it a go. Three, two, one, go!

-Monkey bars. You've got to swing your hips.

-Mm-hm.

Hey, you cheats! You absolute cheats!

Who wouldn't want to do this on their wedding day, hey(?)

What bride would not want to do this(?)

After a quick whizz round the obstacles,

Jade and Teanna agree that an army assault course race would be

perfect entertainment for any wedding.

You just want a straightforward race?

-We should do it kids versus adults.

-You two versus them?

-Yeah, but we can make it harder.

-How?

They could, like, carry around the cake with them...

-Yeah!

-..whilst doing the assault course.

-Brilliant. I love it.

'And I'm sure this is exactly what Mum and Andy

'have always dreamt of for their wedding day.'

-In terms of entertainment, about sort of standard entertainment?

-Hm.

Maybe have a little magician or something

-to keep the guests entertained.

-Very good.

Well, Mum, it will be magic if you're going to hang on

to your cake around this assault course.

Honestly, Mum doing this on her wedding day?

I hope the girls know what they're doing.

'This really might mean disaster, but for the girls,

'that's entertainment sorted.'

The basic training for this army wedding is complete.

Jade and Teanna are now ready for Mum and Andy

to start stepping to their marital march.

THEY SING MENDELSSOHN'S WEDDING MARCH

From the perfect place to hold it...

GIRLS SQUEAL

Oh, my gosh!

..to some totally on-theme outfits...

Don't ever go into wedding dress design.

..the girls have worked flat-out in just four weeks to make their plans

a reality.

That was the most amazing thing I've ever done.

And as an added wedding treat, Ed and I

have found a very special tank that will surprise Mum AND the girls.

At home, the anticipation is mounting for Jade.

The wedding is tomorrow.

I'm so excited, because, obviously, my mum hasn't asked me

any questions. It's going to be so much fun.

But Mum is still hoping for a big day that's the complete opposite

to what the girls have planned.

My dream would be that it would be very princessy and lovely,

but knowing Jade, it's probably something very different

to what I'm imagining it to be.

Oh, you can say that again. Job done, soldiers.

The wait is over and the day has finally dawned on this army wedding.

At the venue, Camp Camouflage is quickly taking shape.

In the hotel where our new recruits are staying,

Mum is starting to get a little bit twitchy.

Jade has been extremely secretive, and tells me absolutely nothing.

I have no idea what's going on today, so it'll be very interesting.

SHE GIGGLES

Meanwhile, Jade and Teanna are running over the battle plans with

-Sergeant Major Ed.

-OK, officers! Talk me through it!

Well, at 11:00 hours,

Mum and Dad arrive in Jeep.

At 11:30 hours, Mum and Dad transfer from Jeep to tank

and proceed to venue.

And at 12:00 hours, we marry Mum and Dad!

'The girls may be battle-ready, but the bride and groom

'still need to be issued with their kit for the big day.'

Good morning.

Here it is, but the main rule - you're not allowed to peek.

-Someone will help you get into that.

-Thank you so much.

-This is your outfit.

-OK.

-Top-secret - don't peek.

-OK.

-Someone will help you get into that.

-Thank you.

With our two military marvels standing to attention

in their own uniforms, let's see if this army wedding

means they are Mum and Andy's heroes or zeros.

Are you ready to see what you're wearing,

that Jade and Teanna have chosen for you?

Three, two, one.

Oh, wow!

-Oh, wow!

-Wow!

Oh, wow!

I wondered what the hat was. That's all right.

I'm quite happy with that.

Wow.

-HE LAUGHS

-Love it.

-Can you guess what the theme is today?

-Military, army.

-You are having an army-themed wedding.

-Wow.

-Wow.

-It's all right, isn't it?

-Yeah. I love it. It's cool.

'Amazingly, the outfits are a hit! Andy's looking pukka

'and Mum loves her army dress with added bling. Well done, soldiers -

'it's an early victory.'

-Well done, Jade.

-Really well done. Let's have a group hug.

Oh, both of you, it's lovely. I'm so happy. Oh, really nice.

I'm going to cry. Ooh.

Right, you lot, forward march!

'Now Mum and Andy know the army theme, the next surprise

'is checking out their first set of wedding day wheels, an army 4x4.'

Go on round, go and get in.

Oh, look at that.

-It's like An Officer And A Gentleman.

-Aw.

'This all seems to be going surprisingly well.

-'What could possibly go wrong?'

-ALL: Bye!

I'm sitting all dolled up with bling on, in a truck. It's just amazing.

It's just not what I was expecting at all. I'm loving it.

-Just wait until you see the tank, Mum.

-Right, girls, come with me.

Go, go, go!

'But first, it's a surprise for the girls.'

'Remember how the girls had hoped for a tank that was a bit more

'blinged up than the standard army green?'

'Well, look what we found.'

-Pink! Pink tank!

-TEANNA GASPS

Wow!

-Look!

-This is my vision come true, guys.

-It's what you had in mind?

-Yep. Better.

One big pink tank in place and ready to roll.

Now all we need are our new recruits.

But in the army Jeep that's bringing them to camp,

disaster has struck.

We're in our transportation, which is a Land Rover,

and it appears to have... Well, it HAS - it doesn't appear...

It's broken down.

While Mum and Andy figure out what to do next, the guests have arrived,

and have no idea that this wedding is currently stuck on the hard shoulder.

Time for Sergeant Major Ed to go to work drilling his troops.

Squad! Attention! Turn to the left in file! Left turn!

Where are you going? You're like a helicopter going round and round!

This isn't the air force - it's the army!

'So our platoon is a shambles.'

And back at the army Jeep,

there's still no sign of the engine starting.

Hopefully we're not going to be late. Because obviously we've

got all our guests in place, and I am a touch concerned.

All the girls' plans could suddenly be in peril.

Just in the nick of time, though, reinforcements arrive.

-We'll go with a plan B now.

-Here we are. Let's get in the warmth.

It's now touch-and-go whether Mum and Andy can arrive

in time for the wedding to take place.

'Just as it's looking as though all Jade and Teanna's hard work

'might result in a crushing defeat,

'a rumble in the distance means the cavalry have arrived!'

I think I can see them! There they are. There they are.

Mum and Andy have made it to the girls' army camp,

but as they're blindfolded again, they're about to find out

that transport plan B is much more than a people carrier.

-Hi, Mum and Dad.

-Hello.

Well done.

Great.

-So, Mum and Andy, you had a bit of trouble with your Jeep.

-Just a touch.

But it's not a problem,

because we always had some alternate army transport ready,

so would you like to take off your blindfolds and check it out?

-Oh, wow!

-Wow!

Oh, cool.

'It's exactly the reaction Jade and Teanna were hoping for.

'Just the little challenge of Mum climbing into her tank

'in high heels to overcome.'

Don't pop a balloon with your stiletto.

'At last, the bridal party are in position and ready to roll.'

ENGINE REVS

Time to make tracks to this wedding.

MUSIC: The Ride Of The Valkyries by Wagner

THEY SHRIEK AND LAUGH / ENGINE REVS

As Mum and Andy emerge through the pink smoke,

they have their very own guard of honour waiting to greet them.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

It looks as though we're all finally present and correct.

Right, you horrible shower!

Don't stand there gawping

like you've never seen a pink tank before!

March single-file into the wedding venue!

With our regiment on the move at last,

we're ready to commence Operation Marry Mum And Dad.

I give you this ring as a sign of my devotion and love to you.

This ring is a constant reminder that I'll always be by your side,

in times of trouble and happiness.

REGISTRAR: It's my pleasure to declare you man and wife,

and, Andy, you may kiss your bride.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Finally, Mum and Andy are now officially Mr and Mrs Mum and Andy.

The ceremony was well cool. I think my mum loved it.

To me it feels that it's united us as a whole family.

-JO:

-I'd just like to say thank you to Jade and Teanna for doing such

an amazing job, and to make it so special for us,

and the fact they've done it just makes it even more magical.

'But the magic isn't quite over.

'There's just time for the girls' entertainment.'

Recruits! Here is your wedding cake.

It's the final part of your basic wedding training.

The bride and groom will have to earn this cake by completing

this assault course!

WHOOPING

Yes, it's Mum and Andy versus Jade and Teanna.

Oh, let's do it. Let's do it.

Well, there is a catch.

-To make it fair, you've got to carry this around the course with you.

-No!

'Now, if this cake doesn't look like the girls' design,

'that's because it's a fake.

'Their real army-themed blockbuster is safely under wraps.'

'The girls are up first and ready to set a tough time that Mum

'and Andy will find hard to beat.'

Here we go, everyone! On your marks!

Get set! Go!

Good balance. Well done. Keep it strong.

You can do it. You can do it.

Hup-hup-hup-hup! Look lively! Look lively!

Looking very good, girls.

Good, good.

And...stop the clock!

'The girls took just over two minutes.

'Andy's looking confident, but they'll have to move

'like lightning.'

'Well, like lightning carrying a cake.'

-Go!

-Come on, you two! Come on - get that cake over!

Come on - hurry up!

Come on! Keep moving!

Hold my arm.

Come on - we've got some hungry guests here.

-SHE CHANTS:

-Drop it, drop it, drop it!

You were definitely faster on the tyres.

Go, go, go, go! Yeah!

They're keeping that cake rock-steady so far,

but could this be a bridge too far?

HE LAUGHS

Come on, Andy!

This is a race, not a walk! Come on! Move it! Move it!

'Amazingly, Andy is managing to hold on to it.'

How did he do that?

'But he hasn't reckoned on a cheeky push from Sergeant Major Ed.'

ALL: Ohhhhh!

'Mum and Andy have lost the race and trashed the wedding cake.

'Time to lift the camouflage on the real army-themed edibles.'

Now, you may be starting to suspect that that wasn't

your real wedding cake. This, designed by Jade and Teanna,

IS your real wedding cake!

Whoo!

APPLAUSE

-JO:

-It's amazing.

CHEERING

That's very nice.

'As Mum, Andy and the guests get to grips with the girls' cake,

'it's time to find out whether this army wedding has passed muster.'

-I feel like that went really, really well.

-It was so much fun.

-Yeah.

We were amazing wedding planners.

-JO:

-We have just had the best time. It has been lovely.

Today's been fantastic and what it means, it means everything.

The fact that Jade's organised this...

-We've had a great time, haven't we?

-Yeah, it's been brilliant.

-Thanks, Jade and Teanna, amazing.

-Yeah.

-Going to remember this day for ever. And ever.

-And ever.

Well, Private Naomi, that was the wedding that had everything.

Certainly did, Sergeant Major Ed - camouflage, drills, marching...

-Assault course, cakes...

-Pink tanks!

Ah, yes, about the tank - it can't stay pink for much longer.

We've got to make it green again, and that's an order!

See you in a month!