Kiwi Caper Naomi's Nightmares of Nature

Welcome to my Nightmares Of Nature.

I'm Naomi Wilkinson...

SHE SCREAMS Oh, my goodness!

..and I'm coming face-to-face with the nightmares of the animal world.

Oh!

The ones that make your spine tingle...

SHE WHIMPERS

..your heart beat faster...

There it is, there it is!

..and your blood run cold.

Are they truly terrifying?

Or is there a twist in the tale?

SEAL BARKS

Come with me as I shine a light on wildlife's

deepest, darkest secrets.

And see if you can guess which will be my worst nightmare.

Kia ora! This time I've travelled further than ever.

To a land miles and miles from anywhere.

It's taken me days to get here.

My body clock's wrecked.

I've got no idea what time it is.

And now, I've got to face the nightmares of New Zealand!

We'll be crisscrossing New Zealand

and passing through some epic landscapes.

And after three days on a plane, it's good to get out.

But we're not here to sightsee. Oh, no!

We're on a collision course with some serious critters.

From real-life monsters...

Ooh!

..to super-sharp slime shooters.

-Ah! It just...

-It did it really far, didn't it?

And a jawed beastie of giant proportions.

Oh, I don't like that!

First up is something that's a bit of an oddball.

It's small, it's furry, some even say sweet.

But...it's not one of these,

as Stu our cameraman thought when he first read the script!

It's actually one of New Zealand's most curious of creatures.

The kiwi.

Kiwis are small,

quirky birds that live deep in the forest of New Zealand.

They're rarely ever seen, and come out at night

to forage for food.

But this is New Zealand's national icon.

How could it possibly be a nightmare?

To find out more, I've come to Rainbow Springs Nature Park,

to meet kiwi expert Emma.

She's got some brand-new babies that have recently hatched.

To make sure I don't give the kiwis my germs, I have to get kitted up.

-There we go.

-Oh, it's bigger than I thought it would be.

Oh, how cute is that? Look at his massive long beak.

There we go.

What a little poppet. It's a complete fluff ball, isn't it?

He certainly is.

So, he weighs a nice 326g,

but what we're going to do is we'll give him a quick health check...

-Yep.

-..and make sure that everything's all right.

OK, so we'll just let you crack on.

'At this age, checking the health of the kiwi is vitally important

'to ensure it survives.'

-I just look at the eyes and the ears.

-Tiny little eyes, hasn't it?

'Spending most of the time in the dark,

'you'd think kiwi would have big eyes.'

They just have vision like you and I.

So, it's at a bit of a disadvantage for a nocturnal creature, then.

Absolutely, but they have extra nerves at the tip of their bill,

and that's how they find their food.

It's the most unlike bird I've ever seen, I think.

EMMA LAUGHS Kind of fluffy, massive feet.

Can't really see very well in the dark considering it's nocturnal.

Yeah. And I'll show you their little wing.

A little, tiny thing. There it is.

That's its tiny little wing!

So, he's not flying anywhere with that, is he?

'I can see a bit of a pattern, here.

'They can't see that well, and they can't fly.

'The kiwi is one unlucky bird.'

So, if it's not able to fly, does that mean it's quite

vulnerable cos it can't fly away from predators?

Absolutely, but of course when

kiwi were here before humans arrived,

there were no mammalian predators to bother the kiwi,

-so that's why it evolved to not fly...

-Yeah.

..and unfortunately now...

Yeah, it's not able to keep up with all the predators

that we've brought in to New Zealand.

Unfortunately, humans have introduced

a whole range of animals to New Zealand, such as...

the rat,

the ferret,

and the stoat.

Not to mention the cat...

and the dog...

who all hunt the poor kiwi.

Sleep well.

But for now, this little kiwi is safe in his bed.

With the check-up completed, it's now off outside,

to find some older kiwi in their homes.

Ohh, we've woken you up.

Oh, it's a bigger one!

'Laura needs to make sure that this kiwi is fit and healthy,

'so it's off to the weighing station.'

So, if they weren't in these enclosures,

what would be their chance of survival out in the wild?

They'd, unfortunately, only have about

a 5% survival rate to get to about six months old,

so the reason why we do what we do

-is we keep them safe through that vulnerable time.

-Yeah.

So, once they get up to a kilo in weight,

they're able to defend themselves against their number one

-predator, which is the stoat.

-And you can let them go.

-Absolutely, yeah. Got to save our national icon.

-Yes.

So, he's a whopping 986g.

So, that's really exciting.

So, as soon as he reaches a kilo,

-he's off into the wild?

-Absolutely.

He'll be back out to where the egg came from.

'But even with this kick-start to life,

'it's not going to be easy.'

'Life is tough being a kiwi.

They dig in the ground for food,

but have their nostrils at the end of their beak.

So their nose gets bunged up with soil.

Achoo!

They come out at night-time,

but they can't see that well!

CRASH!

And they're birds that can't fly.

Which means they get nailed by dogs, cats, and...

Well, everything else, it seems.

DOG BARKS

Poor, unlucky kiwi.

I almost daren't ask, Emma.

Is there anything else the kiwi has to handle?

There is one more nightmarishly

different thing that kiwi do. Let me show you something.

It doesn't surprise me you say there is something else.

What is it?

So, here we have an X-ray of a kiwi.

So, you can see, this is the long beak, the backbone,

and a huge...

eye-wateringly large egg.

That's almost the size of its body!

Absolutely.

And when she lays that, a couple of weeks later,

she has to lay another one.

-Ooh!

-I don't fancy it.

-Ow!

EMMA LAUGHS

The kiwi!

No, not the fruit!

One of New Zealand's most captivating creatures,

but they're so, so unlucky.

They can't see well in the dark, they don't fly,

they lay an egg that is eye-wateringly ginormous,

and now I could be calling it my worst nightmare, too!

I'm sorry.

From freak to unique.

Something sinister is lurking in the undergrowth.

When you think of worms, you probably think of slimy,

but pretty much harmless wriggly things

that live in your garden.

Well, there's a worm that lives here in New Zealand, that's a bit weird.

It's got legs, it's got teeth,

and it likes to hunt.

The velvet worm.

Tiny, squishy, perhaps even cute.

But don't be fooled, as there's more to this critter than meets the eye.

A voracious predator,

lurking in the depths of the forest.

It has some truly sinister tricks up

its velvety sleeve.

I'm going to try and find one.

And I've got biologist supremo, Steve, to help me.

Right, why have you brought me to a big old log?

-That's lovely, isn't it?

-NAOMI LAUGHS

-This might be a place we'd find velvet worms.

-OK.

-Where would we look?

-We'd have to look right down

-in the guts of the business, down here, perhaps.

-OK...

So, you break bits off.

So, the only way we can do this

is to gently pull away

bits of the rotting log.

When you open it up, there's all these cavities,

-these little tunnels.

-Ah.

-It's dark, it's like a mysterious world.

-Amazing.

'Whilst this is the perfect hiding spot for the velvet worm,

'unfortunately, no-one seems to be at home.'

OK. Nothing there. Let's keep looking.

We may have struck out on our first attempt,

but Steve assures me we'll have better luck deeper into the forest.

-Heading into the bush!

-Here we are, this is THE bush.

This worm had better be worth it. STEVE LAUGHS

Actually, it's quite a climb!

THEY LAUGH

Ooh!

-Well, this is... This looks like a...

-This bit is a good one?

-What we could do, we could actually go the other side.

-Yeah.

Oop! Oh, dear.

OK, so are we thinking in here? Is there a worm in there?

-There are bits we can lift off.

-Ooh, what's that?

-There's another one of your millipedes.

-Oh.

It's funny, because I don't actually know what I'm looking for.

A worm with legs and teeth.

THEY LAUGH

-SHOUTS:

-I've got something!

-Have you got one?

-I'm up here!

-Ah!

-Have we got one?

-Yeah!

Take care. Walk slowly, everybody.

We're coming, we're coming.

OK, well, cos I've seen these things lots of times,

even though I can only catch a glimmer of a few feet,

I know there's one in there.

-And you think this is an adult?

-And let's just lift off this bit of...

It's still stuck on.

-Oh, and, actually, that is a monster.

-Oh!

Wow! Gosh, it's really blue.

That's about as big as they get for these North Island ones.

Look at her funny, stubby legs.

What they call lobopods, and they're specialised legs,

and they're just filled with fluid.

And, I tell you what, we'll just give it a bit of stimulus.

I'm just going to gently touch its antennae.

-Oh!

-Ah! It just...

-You see it...? Really far, didn't it?

HE LAUGHS

-What's it doing?

-It's on my finger. It's fired its glue guns.

You don't know about that, do you?

That's the secret, the dark secret of the velvet worm.

-But catch a look at that. Can you see?

-It shoots slime?

-It shoots slime.

-Why does it do that?

-What it has those for is to hunt, to catch its prey.

-Oh.

Cos it's just a soft-bodied animal, but it hunts animals,

it hunts other little animals.

Yep, the velvet worm shoots slime.

On each side of its head are slime-firing pistols.

Like a super-sharp shooter,

it launches lassoes of goo at its target.

Splat!

The sticky substance traps its victim,

so it can't get away.

-So, once it's caught its prey, then what would happen?

-Ah.

-Cos it's quite slow moving, isn't it?

-Yeah. Well, that's the thing.

Did you see how quick that was?

That was the fast bit.

And then it does the next exciting thing,

which is it gets out its fangs.

It's got these great big fangs that come out of its mouth,

and it slashes a hole.

Then it kind of vomits into it, it sicks up inside the food,

and it digests the animal kind of in its own body...

-Yeah?

-And then it...sluurrp! Drinks out the...

-That's like a nice soup.

-Yeah, like a smoothie.

-Mm, nice(!)

It sucks out all that goodness and just leaves the hard bits behind.

What we'll do, though, is we'll see if she'll come and walk on you.

-As long as it doesn't do that slime thing again.

-OK.

-Right.

So, we'll just gently roll her out onto you hand.

-OK, I mean you no harm.

-Now you can see...

-Oh, look at those legs!

-You see a belly, and all her legs.

-Oh, the legs.

And you wouldn't think that something so small and

delicate would be packed with such sort of

mean...sinister weapons.

Yeah. Yes, that's right.

Very sinister weapons, and it's a real hunter,

and it is unlike any other kind of animal.

The velvet worm.

It may look soft and squidgy,

but this is a worm with weapons.

Rampaging through the undergrowth,

firing slime at its victims. Pew!

And that is a very real nightmare.

'I'll tell you what, though,

'being able to shoot slime would be pretty useful.'

HER STOMACH RUMBLES

NAOMI LAUGHS

When the crew first told me I was coming to New Zealand, I thought,

"Great, there is absolutely nothing that lives there that's scary."

Well, now that I'm actually here,

I've been told a story of a

giant snake-like creature

so ferocious it's rumoured to have

devoured dogs and even people.

And apparently, this river is where they live.

But this is no snake.

Incredibly, no snakes are found in New Zealand.

This mysterious creature starts life in the sea,

and then moves up rivers, where it hunts for its prey.

A super-sized giant,

some say growing to monstrous sizes.

But do these meat-eaters deserve

their menacing reputations?

Let me introduce you to the longfin eel.

To help me on my quest, I've met up with eel enthusiast Laura.

Well, Laura, I am absolutely loving

the idea of coming face-to-face with a two-metre eel.

Yes, I am. I'm not lying...

How ferocious are they?

There's definitely myths and legends that say they can be pretty

-ferocious.

-So is it true that they do bite people?

There has been stories of them biting people. They do have teeth.

Their teeth actually go the wrong way, so if they bite onto something

-they use a corkscrew, a little bit like a crocodile, to pull.

-Oh, no!

And you think there might be some just a little bit further ahead?

I think we might meet a few if we go this way.

But what if...?

Oh.

'It was time to step into a lair of giants.

'First, we have to find them.'

So, apparently,

up round here is where they might normally be hanging out.

What's that? Ooh, is that a head moving? There.

I saw something moving in there.

'But just when our backs are turned...'

-Behind you!

-Where? Where?

NAOMI GASPS Oh! Look at the size of him!

-That's just a little one!

-That's...That's a little one?

-That's just a little one.

-It's coming straight for your legs.

-It's coming right towards me.

-Do we need to worry?

Well, one thing they like to do...

You know how babies pop things in their mouth to figure out

-what they are?

-Yeah...

-That's what these guys do.

Can I get out now?

-Can they see us from under the water?

-They don't see very well.

They've got these beautiful blue eyes,

but unfortunately they're just about blind.

That's why they're using all their other senses to figure out

what's going on, things like those protruding nostrils.

That helps them smell things from around 100 metres away.

'And it seems they can smell us in the water,

'as other dark shapes start to appear from the shadows.'

-Oh, there's two now!

-Here's another one, there.

So, what do they eat to grow to be that big?

They'll eat tadpoles, small fish, baby ducklings,

livestock if it drowned in the river, if the river's swelled.

-They'd eat a sheep? Something that big?

-They would. Yep, they would.

You often hear stories from farmers that say if the river's flooded

and livestock drowns, that the eels have come and cleaned it up.

-Ooh! And you just get left with their bones?

-Pretty much.

Ah! I guess our work here's done now, isn't it?

It's been good to see them, but it's getting a bit cold.

Can we get out yet?

Actually, I've got one more job for you to do, so come with me.

"Job"?

A job... Oh...

Whoa! There are so many of them, and they're so big. What's the plan?

So, I've got some pretty stinky chicken skin and hen skin here

-which we're going to feed them.

-OK.

-This'll be a real treat for them.

So, I'm going to get you to help me.

But I need you to be careful of your fingers, though,

because they do have teeth, so just be a little bit careful

-about where your fingers are and how close they are to you.

-OK.

-A big piece like that?

-A big piece like that'll do.

What's going to happen? Are they going to jump up?

They're going to lift their heads up,

because they're using that amazing sense of smell to find it.

Oh, dear... NAOMI SIGHS

-Yep!

-Do I let it go?

-Yeah, they'll grab it out of your hands.

-Got it.

-There he goes!

What's happening there?

So, what they do, the ones that bite onto something,

-they'll twist to pull it apart.

-Tear off a piece. Whoa!

'These are big animals, and they aren't afraid of coming close.'

Whoo...

Whoa!

-They're strong! They're really strong.

-They're very strong.

I tried to hold on to that. Cor!

Are they slimy to touch?

Some people say they're slimy.

What they do is when they're feeling a little bit threatened,

so maybe if they're not in water -

because they can be out of water, actually - they might secrete

-a slime, and that would make them difficult to catch.

-Yeah.

So it's like a defence mechanism.

But they're not always in the water? They can live out of water?

They can, for about 48 hours or so. As long as they have a little bit of

moisture around them, they can take themselves over land.

So in that dewy, long morning grass in New Zealand,

they might be taking themselves from one water source to another.

-They can literally walk on the land?

-They move like a snake.

That's cool.

Ooh! Well, what can I say?

Nature has a way of surprising you every single time.

I never thought I would find myself coming face-to-face with

a swarm of giant river eels. They are mahoosive! They're hungry.

And they've got a seriously scary set of gnashers on them.

But is it enough to make these slippery characters slide into that

nightmare top spot?

'So far, so good, but giant eels aren't the only things here

'that grow to monster sizes.'

OK, a bit of history for you.

New Zealand was cut off from the rest of the world for

millions of years.

Now, that means there are creatures that live here that can only

be found here, nowhere else.

And when some of these creatures are left to evolve on their own,

isolated from everywhere else, sometimes they can grow big.

Now, wouldn't it be lovely if these were giant bunnies?

Or giant fluffy penguins?

But no, they have to be giant insects, don't they?

Nice one...!

'Luckily for me, I'm not going to be on my own for this one,

'as I'm back with Steve to hide behind. Ahem. I mean accompany me.'

-Right, what's the plan?

-We're going to find a tree weta.

-And what are weta?

-Weta are just lovely, big, shiny insects.

And they're only found in New Zealand?

They only live in New Zealand. The giant crickets of New Zealand.

So, how are we supposed to find them?

Well, it would be hard, normally, because they're nocturnal,

so they only come out at night naturally,

and they hide away during the day inside holes in trees.

But we've got some special boxes where we know the weta are in there,

and we can open those boxes during the day and find the little beasts.

-So we're going to go and check out those boxes now.

-We are.

-OK!

'I'm used to boxes for birds, not insects.

'How big are they going to be?!

'Steve's insect boxes are located deep in the bush,

'and it's proving to be a bit of a struggle.'

-All right?

-Thank you!

SHE LAUGHS

-So, just here we've got one of those weta roosts.

-Ah! Let's have a look.

Do you want to open it up?

I'd like you to open it up, if you don't mind!

Ooh...

Oh, my word! SHE SHIVERS

-This is a female tree weta.

-Whoa!

Strangely enough, even though they look big and fearsome,

their main food is leaves.

-Right.

-So they go out and they chomp through leaves.

But her jaws are small compared to the jaws of the big males,

-the adult male.

-So, do you think there's a male in that box?

Let's see if we can find some males.

-So...

-They're a bit sort of cockroach-y, aren't they?

Yeah, well done, a big one. Oh, that's a male, that's a male!

Look at its jaws! SHE SHRIEKS

Oh, I don't like that! It's got a totally different face.

-His body is smaller than hers, but his head is much, much bigger.

-Yeah!

-Did it bite you? Are you OK?

-No, it didn't.

When he bites, he'll hang on.

'And those super-sized jaws can draw blood, if I'm not careful.'

-Ugh, its face is like an alien.

-But a very beautiful alien.

-Hmm...

What are those enormous jaws for?

Well, they're not for attacking mad biologists,

although they will use them for that.

They've got to feed, still, so they're still using their jaws

to feed, but mostly they're being used to fight with other males.

'Male weta can be fierce.

'They live with groups of females,

'and if another male comes along, he'll defend his prized mates.

'And the battles between wrestling weta can be brutal.

'But it's not just other weta

'that should be wary of these feisty critters.'

They do also react to predators, to things trying to eat them,

and they'll wave their legs in the air, open their jaws.

They'll make themselves look big.

And certainly, when small birds try and attack a weta,

-they will often give up. "I'll go and find something easier."

-Really?!

They can scare off birds?

'Now that I've met these monster mouths, I've got a job to do.

'Before I arrived, Steve had requested I bring something

'with me to help with his research.

'Gloves or a net to catch them, perhaps?

'No. None of these.

'Nail polish.'

Well, I've brought some very funky colours with me,

but we're not painting the weta's nails, are we?

We're not going to paint their nails, no.

The purpose is so that we know who is who, which weta is which weta.

-Ah!

-We don't need to beautify them, because they're already beautiful.

The colour's there so that we can tell the difference between

-each individual.

-So you can see if it moves to a new box.

-We know who they're pairing up with.

-Mm-hm.

So, how do we go about doing this?

-I don't want to get bitten.

-You don't want to get bitten.

The first thing we're going to do is just open this box.

It's just got one, and she's hidden behind the plastic there.

Whereabouts are we going to put a blob of this?

We're going to put it on a flat area behind the head.

-Can you see? So, you don't want too much on your brush.

-Like that?

-Is now a good time?

-Yeah.

-So, between its antennae in there?

NAOMI SQUEALS

NAOMI SHRIEKS

She got wise. She got wise to me, didn't she?

Put a pink blob on the dark square.

Sorry, mate.

-Enough?

-She's fine.

-How's that?

-Perfect.

-Is that all right? Good!

Success!

-Naomi's weta there.

-There you go, pinky. Is that better, weta?

-It's a fantastic colour.

-Yeah. Much better, weta!

A better weta!

Lovely.

'One box down, just one more to go,

'and a new weta calls for a new colour.

'It's a big, angry male! And Steve has something special in mind.'

So, you've got a challenge.

You're going to write your name on the back of a weta.

-My name?

-No, maybe just an N.

-Does it help if I hold this?

-Can it spin round and bite me?

Absolutely not.

-Right...

-That never happens.

-Oh, mate.

-Oh, look at that!

Look at that!

Oh, yeah.

-He didn't even move! Oh!

-Brilliant. Fully qualified biologist.

You know how to tag weta.

'With the weta successfully marked, job's a good 'un.

'And I didn't get bitten. Nice!'

A giant insect with big ol' jaws, always up for a fight,

a dead cert for my ultimate nightmare.

Having said that, I quite like how fearless and gutsy they are,

so for now I think it's all still to play for.

Well, that's just about it for this New Zealand adventure.

Just got to decide which was my worst nightmare.

'Monster eels? Nah.

'Weta? Don't think so.'

What do you think, guys? EVERYONE TALKS AT ONCE

Actually, don't bother. Don't trust you lot.

They may be tiny, but the weaponised velvet worm with its slime-shooting

pistols has shot to glory to become my worst nightmare here.

I reckon it was the weta, Stu.

Yeah, she doesn't know what she's talking about.

I can hear you, you know.

Cheese!

Thanks very much!

You're welcome. Nice to meet you all.

Most photos I've ever had taken, ever.

Looking like this! Yes!