Episode 3 Nowhere Boys


Episode 3

Drama series. The boys' survival instincts kick into gear as they scavenge for food and set up home in a derelict shed, continuing to come to terms with their new reality.


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Transcript


LineFromTo

-He's such an airhead.

-And his girlfriend, so far up herself.

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-It's our anniversary.

-It's awesome, babe. Thank you.

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If you want to win so much, there's a short cut.

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He's slipping!

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THEY GROAN

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-Mum, Dad!

-You've got me confused, mate.

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My mum's got a whole new life.

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Oscar can walk but my family can't remember me.

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Whatever's going on happened to all of us.

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Every gang needs a hideout.

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SHE GASPS

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-What's that?

-Nothing. It's for a friend.

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Friend, huh? Anyone I'd know?

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Maybe.

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He must be pretty cool, then,

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seeing as you're carving his initials and stuff.

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Well, he thinks he is, but he's not really.

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I bet he's the coolest.

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That's more like it.

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It'll always be there.

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-What are you doing?

-Reckon I could skate us back to shore?

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Hey! Come on. What are you doing?

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Hey. Hey. Stop. Whoa!

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FLIES BUZZ

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Only two days out of date and a little bit of mould.

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Brilliant. These will go well with the five-day-old custard.

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-Oh, yeah...

-Come on. I'll boost you.

-Sorry, I'm germ-phobic.

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Then consider this therapy. Come on. What would Bear Grylls do?

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Oh! I can feel the bacteria attacking.

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All 10 million types.

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Right! Out! Before I hit you mob for six.

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-That's my dad.

-Come on, sink or swim, bro.

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This is your last chance! I said out!

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Mm. Stale chips. Not bad.

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I'm not hungry.

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It has a distinct aroma with a certain intense rubbishness.

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Full of surprises. Mould. Grainy sugar.

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And a hint of cigarette butt.

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That explains it.

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I'm giving it a 3 out of 10.

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-Almost inedible. 2 out of 10.

-Big fat zero.

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My mum makes these.

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We'll work this out.

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I know it.

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How do you solve a problem that you can't even understand?

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What's that book you're always looking at?

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My diary.

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I'm thinking about writing a bestseller. About us.

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Four boys that no-one can remember.

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-Have you worked out the ending?

-Not yet.

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It's a lot more than people just forgetting us.

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It's like we don't even exist.

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-Irrational. We exist.

-Yeah? Prove it.

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-Geez!

-There's your proof.

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I mean, real evidence, Jake. Records.

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Woohoo!

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This is great!

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You know what? That might actually be a good idea.

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-Wow. Thanks.

-The school has enrolment records.

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You want to go to school? Really? It's Saturday.

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I know. Perfect, isn't it?

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How can going to school on a weekend be perfect?

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We gather the required information and remain completely undetected.

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Sam! Sam!

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The freak and the nerd want to go to school.

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-To check our names in the records.

-You coming?

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-There's proof in that boat over there.

-What?

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-I'll catch up, OK?

-OK.

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The school. See you there.

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Guys, wait up.

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It's still here. I've got proof. Wait!

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Wait, guys.

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I so exist.

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In Year 8 I landed a month of Saturday detention,

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and apart from 101 ways to clean graffiti off desks

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I did manage to pick up something.

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Watch and learn, amateurs.

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BUTTONS BEEP

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WRONG CODE TONE

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-So, you don't know the code.

-I know what it sounds like.

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Unbelievable.

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BUTTONS BEEP

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WRONG CODE TONE

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BUTTONS BEEP

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CORRECT CODE TONE

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Sometimes my genius is a curse.

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The mission is "Do we exist". Agreed?

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I'll examine the school records.

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I'll check the photos outside the gym.

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-I don't know. Library. Year books.

-The library's closed.

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Did you not just witness the extent of my powers?

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Who you waiting for?

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A friend.

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A friend, huh. Anyone I'd know?

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Um, no.

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Not the beastly dude you've been hanging around with the past year?

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What are you talking about?

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Look, can we stop playing around now?

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-I'm not playing.

-Yes, you are.

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-Look, is this, like, a thing?

-"A thing"...?

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Yeah, like, you walk into people's front yards and act all nutso.

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I'm not acting nutso.

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OK. Sorry. This is really weird and I have this design to finish

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so it was really nice meeting you, I guess, but I'm busy.

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You really don't know who I am.

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I've never seen you before.

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Does this look familiar?

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Please.

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Look. It's the same.

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But I made that.

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I'm sorry I didn't get you a present, if I could do it again...

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Sorry I'm late. Last night my sister had this genius idea

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of putting fungal cream on her zits

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and now they're massive and infected, almost like leprosy.

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So this morning she was in the bathroom

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covering them with Band-Aids and crying.

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What are you doing here?

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-Who are you? Who is he?

-I don't know.

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Can... Can we just go?

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Mia, wait.

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Mia!

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BUTTONS BEEP

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WRONG CODE TONE

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You'd think they'd want their students to learn.

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The shrine to Jake Riles, super athlete.

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COMPUTER BEEPS

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Hey, Ellen.

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Nice costume. You going undercover as boring?

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Two idiots in one day?

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It's like the Bremin Moron Convention.

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COMPUTER BEEPS

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COMPUTER BEEPS

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We really don't exist.

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But what does that mean?

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There's no trace of us here.

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So, we're nothing?

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GLASS SMASHES

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-Jake, don't!

-What does it matter?

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If we don't exist, how can we get caught?

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I guess...

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So, then, if we don't exist,

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we don't have to follow any boring rules.

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There are no punishments.

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We can do anything we want.

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Oops, sorry, Jake.

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DOOR CLOSES

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Huh! Nice.

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We confirmed that we no longer exist.

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Then we took the next logical step - temporary madness.

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Go nuts, Sam. It will make you feel better.

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No-one can catch you.

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It's actually surprising how much that lessens the attraction.

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Of course we exist.

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OK, after you guys left this morning,

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I found a carving that Mia and I did a month ago.

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-It's still there?

-Exactly the same. My initials.

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Maybe someone's deliberately tried to erase our existences.

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Like, identity theft.

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Why would anyone try to steal YOUR identity?

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They haven't managed to erase everything.

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-Have you seen Mia?

-Yeah, yeah. I showed her this.

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She acted as if she didn't even know me.

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But she knew me. I could see it in her eyes.

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But it's like when you can't remember a word

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and it's on the tip of your tongue.

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You know, I just need to get through to her somehow.

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Then you've got to take her to the carving.

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She thinks I'm a psycho.

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Then take it to her.

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What, you want me to carry a boat to her house?

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No, idiot. A photo.

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-We could use the cameras on our phones.

-Negative. They're all dead.

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Well, my brother's got a digital camera.

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And when all of this is proved to be completely pointless,

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we need food, blankets.

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-Deodorant for you, in particular.

-We ate rubbish, remember?

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My dad's an outdoors nut. We've got heaps of spare camping gear.

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You name it, we got it.

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I can grab my brother's camera while I'm there. Now, who's in?

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-Me.

-Me.

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Fine, but Andy's coming with me to get food.

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That's not fair. Why can't Jake?

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Doesn't your grandma own the local Chinese restaurant?

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Oh, yeah.

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-It's still not fair.

-Come on!

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Whoa.

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Lucky we don't exist.

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Sweet.

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That's the new stuff. The old stuff's over here.

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How old were you when you last used this?

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I was six, OK?

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What are you doing?

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Watch and behold.

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My superpower.

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Two serves of 22, extra spicy. Yep.

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Four 63s, a 54, and a 37.

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Yep. Delivered to 144 Acacia Court.

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Yes, in cash.

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-Get some lemon chicken.

-That's not even real Chinese.

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No, that's all, thanks.

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Now we wait.

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All hail King Vince!

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Sorry, Pete, must be hard coming second for your whole life!

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HE PASSES WIND

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Oh, dude, that is rank, man!

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Ah, time out. I'm grabbing a juice.

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-Vince.

-What?

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Make me an egg sandwich, or some baked beans.

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That is toxic, man.

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Hey!

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Cheat.

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Oh! I was supposed to be at cricket 15 minutes ago.

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Boofhead, can you give me a lift?

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Do I have to drive you everywhere?

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Got it! Got it!

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The ninja would observe their target for weeks,

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in intimate knowledge of their daily habits.

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The home delivery guy. Here he comes.

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Our subject has a crush on the newsagent.

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Every afternoon, he sneaks her over a little package of xiaolongbao.

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Love dumplings.

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Ninja.

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-What now?

-Decoy's an essential element.

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Master. Apprentice.

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Clear enough?

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Kick a goal, mate.

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For all of us.

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OK. So it's all designed, online, and ready to go.

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Awesome.

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Oh, no.

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Hey.

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Look, we're kind of having a meeting right now.

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I've just got something to show you.

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Look, the red boat. The carving.

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-We did this. Can you remember?

-Awkward.

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-Yeah. Of course I remember the carving.

-I knew it.

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But I didn't do that with you.

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I was with my boyfriend. Sammy.

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Sammy?

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Who are you?

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That's my board.

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Are you that nut job who came to my house yesterday?

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-What, your house?

-Yeah. My brothers told me about you.

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And what are you doing talking to my girlfriend?

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-Give me my board, hack.

-It's mine.

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Hand over my board and leave us alone

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Just stop it, guys. This is so stupid.

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-Hey.

-My board!

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So cute.

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Yet so mental. Shame.

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Come on, guys.

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Oh! Sorry, you frightened the life out of me.

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-Are you looking for Sammy?

-Who is he?

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-What, love?

-That other boy.

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Why is he in our house and why is he trying to be me?

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-Oh, sorry.

-Are you OK, Mum?

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Sweetie, I'm not your mum.

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I'm your son.

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You're not. SHE GASPS

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Mum! Mum! Are you OK?

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Please, just listen to me.

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Every birthday you make us cheesecake.

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The same your mum used to make for you when you were a kid.

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-What?

-And when you were my age, you lived at the beach.

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-You were a junior surf champ.

-How do you know this?

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That's why I started skating. So I could be just like you.

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I don't know who you've been talking to.

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I miss you, Mum. Please, just remember me.

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SHE GASPS

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I think you've made a mistake.

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Mum!

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Mum! Mum!

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-PHONE:

-Police, fire or ambulance?

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Please state the nature of your emergency.

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-Mum! Mum!

-Hello?

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Hello? Please state the nature of your emergency.

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It's OK.

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Everything's all right.

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-Shouldn't we get Sam?

-We'll save him some.

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Out of your share.

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Number 63. Phoenix talons.

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Steamed chicken feet.

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Number 22. Szechuan liver with snow peas.

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And number 54, the ultimate -

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chu kiok chou, pig trotters and vinegar.

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-Yuck. Why'd you order that?

-Why'd you call me a nerd?

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Oh... I know I'm going to regret this.

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Oh! Hot!

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-Ouch! What is that?

-Presumably a Szechuan pepper.

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Water. I need water.

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And... I nearly forgot. Number 37. Lemon chicken.

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-Mm.

-I guess it's edible.

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Well done...

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nerd.

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There's food inside.

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Well, kind of.

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It's cool.

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Finding out you don't exist kinda kills your appetite.

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And that your parents had another kid and...

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-gave it the same name.

-Yeah?

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Wow.

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I just kept thinking, "Not me.

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"I'll be different," you know?

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And I am different.

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I'm replaced.

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RASPY GROWLING

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What was that?

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I don't know but it has a friend.

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I was kind of hoping Andy's food

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would be the weirdest thing that happened.

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-Oh!

-Oh!

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Run!

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-Jake, open the door!

-Open the door!

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-What's that?

-What?

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Open it! It's stuck!

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Jake, come on, Jake! Just open the door!

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I can't! I can't!

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-Jake!

-It's stuck.

-Jake!

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-What's going on?

-Something out there!

0:24:510:24:54

-Something's coming!

-What is it?

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I think it's some kind of evil spirit.

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-What?

-What? Like a ghost?

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There's no such thing as ghosts.

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There's no such thing as ghosts! There's no such thing as ghosts!

0:25:030:25:06

There's no such thing as ghosts!

0:25:060:25:08

Guys?

0:25:110:25:12

It was no storm.

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I think there might be forces at play which we don't understand.

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That's it. Wormholes.

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We're the matter slipping between infinite variations

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of the same reality.

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She was that creepy woman from the florist. She was watching us.

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-You used to have a book back there.

-That's not kids' stuff.

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What if we're unconscious and we have to wake ourselves?

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The boys' survival instincts kick into gear as they scavenge for food and set up home in a derelict shed, continuing to come to terms with their new reality.

It's one thing to be forgotten, but it's starting to look like they never existed.


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