Camping Nuzzle and Scratch


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# Here we are

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# Nuzzle and Scratch

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# Best by far - Nuzzle and Scratch

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# We're alpacas from the Andes

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# With hooves instead of handies

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# No two others can match Nuzzle and Scratch

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# Nuzzle and Scratch. #

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DRAMATIC MUSIC

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THEY CHAT

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CRASH BOTH: Ooh...!

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-Oh.

-Ooh!

-Oh, come on, Scratch.

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PHONE RINGS

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Hello...? Yes. This is Two by Two, the any animal agency.

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And yes, this is...

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the Boss speaking.

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Uh-huh... Mm-hmm...

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Yep... Oh, yes, that's right.

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So what can Two By Two do for you? I see.

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So what you're after is...

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some keen campers to help you at the campsite.

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Of course... They have to be very organised...

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..fantastic at putting up tents...

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-..I see. They may even get a badge.

-NUZZLE GASPS

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You're looking for two assistants, to start today.

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I'll just look on my computer... Hold the line, please.

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The chickens are in a flap...

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..the pigs are in a bit of a trough...

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..and there's something fishy going on at the aquarium.

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Uh-oh!

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I'm sorry, I don't have anyone available.

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There's no-one...

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THEY CLEAR THEIR THROATS

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I think I'm going to regret this.

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Leave it with me, and I'll sort out a couple of...

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workers to help out.

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Nuzzle! Scratch!

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Follow me!

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THEY CHAT

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Pay attention, you two.

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This film will tell you everything

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about the job you're going to do.

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-(What job?

-I don't know, watch the thing.)

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SHE CLICKS HER FINGERS

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FANFARE

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So, you want to become an outdoor adventurer?

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This is an adventure group leader...

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and this is the great outdoors.

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Spiffing, isn't it?

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This dapper chappie, Sean the adventure group leader,

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is looking for the perfect spot to set up camp.

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He's using a piece of equipment, a compass,

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which tells him the direction in which to head.

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Is it not working, Sean?

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The ideal spot to camp should be nice and flat

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and far away from wild animals...

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GROWLING

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..Perfect for all the young adventurers, and you.

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If you like camping, that is.

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Of course you do!

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Ah! He's found it.

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The perfect place to camp.

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Look at all these healthy adventurers enjoying the outdoors!

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Under Sean's watchful eye,

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children are learning important outdoor skills

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such as putting up a tent...

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..making a shelter...

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..and building a campfire.

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Remember, boys and girls,

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only grown-ups are to light the fire.

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After completing the tasks,

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the children win badges!

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Not badgers, badges!

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Beautiful countryside, camping, campfires and activities

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make a fantastic holiday.

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Remember, your local adventure group is you!

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Yes, YOU!

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THEY SING

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Listen up, you two. You'd better not muck this job up.

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-Us? Muck up?

-Oh, we can turn our hooves to anything.

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We have hooves instead of handies.

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Yes, I know. Now get going or you'll be late.

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-OK.

-Bye-bye.

-Bye-bye.

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And close the door...

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CRASHING AND YELLING

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..AFTER you've been through it.

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-BOTH:

-# Here we go

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# Nuzzle and Scratch

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# Now you know - Nuzzle and Scratch

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# We say we're hooves for hire

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# So easy to admire

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# No two others can match Nuzzle and Scratch

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# Two By Two are pleased to recommend us

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# It isn't very difficult to guess

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# That if you get in touch The Boss will send us

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# So call her and we'll come to your address

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# Here we are - Nuzzle and Scratch

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# Best by far - Nuzzle and Scratch

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# Well we're furry and we're fun

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# And when all is said and done

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# No two others can match Nuzzle and Scratch. #

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BRAKES SCREECH

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No... Nah, nah.

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Are we there yet?

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Mm... Well, according to this map we should be somewhere around here.

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Can I see, can I see?

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Yes...we need to keep going down THIS way

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and the campsite should be around about...here.

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Wahey!

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Oh...!

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Whoa...!

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Oh, this is no time to be looking for worms!

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Oh, a picture of a tent pointing that way.

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The campsite must be down there.

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-Mr Merryweather will be SO pleased to see us.

-Let's go!

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-HE SIGHS

-Ah, the old campsite.

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CLATTERING AND TINKLING

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CUCKOO CLOCK CALL

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I'd better look round. Mr Merryweather's not here yet.

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He's probably bumped into someone.

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Let's show him how good we are

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-by putting up our tent!

-Good idea, Scratch!

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Hm... I wonder why the sign was pointing the wrong way?

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Who'd do a thing like that?

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-Morning!

-Morning!

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-Nuzzle and Scratch.

-Your new team assistants.

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-We love badges.

-Yeah, very shy animals.

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This is the best Two By Two could send me? You'll just have to do.

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-You put up your tent.

-We have, Mr Merryweather, sir.

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It's over there...

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-Have you done much serious camping before?

-Oh, yes.

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All the time.

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You two don't look like proper adventure campers to me.

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-Mm.

-Mm.

-That is not a proper tent.

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As my team assistants, you'll need a uniform.

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So put these on, put up a proper tent

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and take down all the flags from the guy ropes.

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-Um, Scratch?

-Yes.

-Guy ropes?

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Ah...a fine job.

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A fine job, as ever.

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I wonder how my two assistants are getting on?

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HE YELLS AND SCRATCH LAUGHS

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-Nice of you to drop in!

-Yeah, we put in extra ropes

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to stop the tent blowing away.

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-We don't want any accidents, do we, Merryweather?

-No. I suppose not.

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Now...listen here.

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Your job is to assist me in setting up the camp.

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Children are arriving tomorrow for an activity weekend.

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Oh aye, sir, Mr Merryweather, you can count on us.

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Let's make a start.

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We'll fetch some branches and then build a fire to cook dinner.

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BOTH: Ooh! Yes, sir!

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C'mon... Oh!

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There's ever such a lot to do.

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This is just an empty field - it'll take ages to get the camp ready.

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It'll be fun, though.

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-Well, you know what we always say.

-No job's too easy!

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No, the other thing we say.

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Oh! "Is it snack time yet?"!

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Oh! "When all is said and done...

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BOTH: "Work can be fun!"

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# Whatever job we do

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# There's laughter all day through

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# We must confess we make a mess When trying something new

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# Working is fun

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# Working is fun

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# Working is fun

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# Getting' stuff done

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# We tackle work with glee That's our guarantee

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-# A chuckle makes a happy place As both of us agree.

-Yes!

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BOTH: # Working is fun! #

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That's a big one, Scratch!

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-Right.

-Huh?

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Move your tent to the other side.

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I don't want any more fur balls or any more accidents.

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Hahaha!

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It's all going very well.

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Mr Merryweather asked us to move our tent.

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-For safety reasons.

-Yeah! He keeps having accidents!

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And he didn't like finding our fur balls in his tent!

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So we've dug a hole to put them in.

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Mr Merryweather has said that the next job is to plan the trail

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through the woods for the children's treasure hunt.

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And if we're very good, that could mean we get some badges!

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But we have to do it well.

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Mmm, and this is no time to make fools of ourselves.

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-Absolutely, Mr Nuzzle, let's go!

-OK!

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The zip's stuck!

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Here, let me have a go.

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MUFFLED SQUEALS

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Whoa!

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Whoa...

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What, what...

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What's going on? Whoa!

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MUFFLED SQUEALS

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Oh, oh, thank you!

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Thank you, you saved us!

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We'd have been stuck forever. Mwah!

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Oh, look! Mr Merryweather's moved his tent to be near us!

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-I did no such thing.

-Whoa.

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You could do with a wash, Mr Merryweather, sir.

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It's difficult keeping clean with you two here.

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Now follow me. We have a trail to plan.

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Oh...

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Oh, he's very good.

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Very good, yes.

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-Whoa!

-CRASH!

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-Look, he found our fur ball hole!

-Hahaha!

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He's a very clever man!

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Right, gather round.

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-Whoa!

-Ready for action, sir!

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Is it snack time?

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No. It's map time.

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The children will use this map, so we need to mark the route on it.

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Ah. First, the children need to cross this muddy ditch.

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Any idea how they'll do this?

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-BOTH: Um...

-Ferry!

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Aeroplane!

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Spaceship!

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No! Rope! They swing across using the rope.

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-That's not very exciting.

-Yeah, we like aeroplanes.

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And spaceships.

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In order to cross the muddy puddle with the rope,

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they need to be determined and full of energy.

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THAT is what proper adventure camping is all about.

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-Is is snack time?

-Will you stop thinking about eating

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and start thinking about that rope! I'll test it first.

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-What'd he say?

-Start eating the rope, I think...

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Mmm, yes, give it a little try.

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Pffftt-pttfft! A little dry, isn't it?

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Whoa!

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Oh, yeah, it's...

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Whoa... Hehehe!

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Actually, it's wet. VERY, very wet.

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And muddy.

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Ha! I still think you should have used a spaceship!

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I've never had so many accidents happen to me at the same time!

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-Oh, I know! It really is very strange.

-Hmm. Yeah, it is.

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Whoa!

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HE SOBS

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Yes, that's wonderful news. The owls are excellent, aren't they?

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If we can be of further assistance, please don't hesitate to call.

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Hello? Two By Two, the any animal agency.

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-The Boss speaking.

-I want to make a complaint about those two alpacas.

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Nuzzle and Scratch.

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They pitched their tent so close, I tripped over the guy ropes.

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-I see...

-They chewed through the rope when I was crossing the ditch.

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-They didn't?!

-And they buried their fur balls in a hole in the field.

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-That doesn't sound too bad...

-It is when I fell in it twice!

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-I've got fur balls everywhere!

-You need to give them another chance.

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OWL HOOTS

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OWL HOOTS AGAIN

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HE SIGHS

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NUZZLE MUTTERS IN HIS SLEEP

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-Scratch?

-Yes, what... Hello?

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-I'm thirsty.

-Use the tap in the corner of the field.

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But...

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But... That's a long way to go, Scratch.

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Uh... It's all dark outside...

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-Oh, all right, I'll come with you.

-Oh, great!

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TENT UNZIPS AND OWL HOOTS

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Ooh!

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It's very dark out here!

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-Come on, Scratch.

-OK...

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LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

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-Ooh!

-BOING

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Oh, no! One of my hooves is caught on something.

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-It's probably a branch, give it a tug.

-OK.

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HE GRUNTS

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BOING! Whoa! Oh!

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Hahaha!

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Hello, Merryweather! Hehehe!

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Ohhh...

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Fancy you losing your tent, Mr Merryweather.

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Yes, after it had been dragged through the fire and up the field,

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-there wasn't much left.

-Hahaha!

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Well, you're welcome to stay with us.

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Go to sleep. The children arrive tomorrow and it'll be a busy day.

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For some reason I feel terribly tired. Oh!

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That'll be all the fresh air. Hmm.

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You don't snore, do you?

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-No!

-No, no, snoring, not us. Snoring!

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OWL HOOTS

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HOWLING

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THEY SNORE

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-LOUD SNORTING

-Oh!

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Oh.

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GRUNTING STOPS

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Ah.

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Oh! Huh!

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SILENCE

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SNORING STARTS AGAIN

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Nooooooooo!

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BIRDS SING AND ROOSTER CROWS

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Uh!

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BOTH: Good morning!

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Is it morning already?! But I've only just got to sleep, it can't be!

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You had a very restless night.

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We think you might have been snoring.

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I can't get up now - too tired.

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Oh, Mr Merryweather, sir, you have to.

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-Why?!

-The children!

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-Where shall we pitch our tents?

-When do we eat?...

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THEY ALL TALK AT ONCE

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Oh!

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Oh, my word. I've been asleep nearly all day.

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Oh! What about the children and their activities?!

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-What's going on?

-ALL: SURPRISE!

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While you had a little sleep,

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-we did all the cooking.

-And cleaning.

-And singing!

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-The fishing.

-Put up the tents.

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And took the children on the trail through the woods.

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Well... I have to say, I'm very pleased with you.

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This is amazing.

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You two deserve all these badges!

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-Ohhh!

-Oooh!

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-They're not rosettes.

-But they're very nice!

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BOTH: Thank you!

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Never thought I'd say this, but I hope you come camping again.

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Actually, we've decided to get into something else instead.

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Hmm?

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-CHAIR CRACKS

-Whoa!

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THEY ALL LAUGH

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BOTH: Chair-making! Hahaha!

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-Oh, dear.

-I think we'd better go.

-Yeah, we'd better, come on.

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Oh...! Argh!

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# Here we go

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-# Nuzzle and Scratch

-Nuzzle and Scratch

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-# Now you know Nuzzle and Scratch

-Nuzzle and Scratch

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-# We're furry and we're fun

-And when all is said and done

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# No two others can match Nuzzle and Scratch. #

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E-mail [email protected]

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