Episode 1 Officially Amazing Mini!

# Officially, officially, officially

# Amazing. #

ALARM BLARES

-Ah! Ah! Argh!

-Argh!

Long, long ago, in the faraway land of Japan,

there lived an Officially Amazing Ninja.

This ninja guarded the magic temple

where all Officially Amazing records took place.

One day, some evil bandits stormed the grounds.

Their aim? To vanquish all record attempts.

Officially Amazing Ninja had to act fast

to ensure the amazingness could continue

for the joy of mankind.

WEAPONS SWISH

And so began the Battle of Thingybob.

METAL CLANGS

Legends tell of a mega-scrap,

culminating in Amazing Ninja sending the bandits packing...

leaving the temple free once more for new record attempts.

Have you guessed who this mysterious warrior is?

-It's me, Haruka!

-I knew it!

OK, I'm not a ninja, but today

we are going to meet a real one.

For 600 years, ninjas have been spies and assassins.

Thankfully, today, it's apples not enemies heading for the chop.

SWORD SWISHES

Meet Ninja Tomaku.

He'll be putting his skills to the test

in possibly our most dangerous record attempt ever.

Oh!

THEY SPEAK JAPANESE

How dangerous is this record?

HE SPEAKS JAPANESE

-TRANSLATION:

-The sword is heavy. Sometimes my hand lets go.

You can easily take your fingers right off. Right off, I said!

That's a lot of blood!

You should definitely not try this at home.

It is so dangerous, even the most highly trained professionals

still get hurt. Ninja Tomaku has been doing this for many years.

As Ninja Tomaku channels the spirits of the great warriors of the past,

here's the rules.

Ninja Tomaku must throw each apple into the air,

unsheathe his sword, slice through the apple

and resheathe it - that's putting it away again -

carefully avoiding his fingers, all before taking the next apple.

Ninja Tomaku must slice 30 or more apples in 60 seconds

to regain the Guinness world record he once held.

SWORD SWISHES

GONG REVERBERATES

We are all set in the ground of Oshi Castle.

Ninja Tomaku, are you going to win this back?

HE SPEAKS JAPANESE

Ninja warriors, are you ready?

ALL TALK AT ONCE

-Go.

-Here we go. The blade has to chop through the apple -

a thin slice will do. That's one.

The apple needs to be cut into separate pieces,

so that one is no good.

Another clean cut there. That's two.

Ninja Tomaku into his stride. 29 to beat. He's looking good.

But the sword is so heavy, at around 1kg,

it's like constantly swinging a litre of water around.

Ooh! Didn't quite slice all the way through there.

That won't count.

He needs to slice every two seconds.

Sensational swordsmanship!

Er, no. Bit of a fumble there.

He's having trouble sheathing his sword.

It's so sharp.

He has to be careful he doesn't slice his fingers on it.

-Come on, Ninja Tomaku!

-Stop.

HE EXCLAIMS

Oh! That was fantastic slicing and cutting.

What do you think? How did you get on?

HE SPEAKS JAPANESE

-TRANSLATION:

-I did my best.

The official adjudicator counts the apples.

Did he slice 30 or more and get his record back?

What you have achieved now is 25.

Are you going to try again?

-TRANSLATION:

-Go on, then. I'll do one more.

While Ninja Tomaku prepares for his next attempt,

let's leave him briefly and head to Italy

for a bizarre-looking record.

These three women are going to attempt to break the record

for fastest ten metres whilst in the box-split position.

This is the box-split position.

Hmm. That looks painful.

A 180-degree angle of the legs whilst sitting on the floor.

The ladies must get from here to here as fast as they can.

Up first is Italian Irene Beti.

And she's off. Come on, Irene!

Are those legs at 180 degrees?

Hmm. Unorthodox pincer movement.

Determination and pain etched on her face.

She's reached the finish in a rapid time of 13.39 seconds.

But the judges don't look happy.

Oh. Irene has been disqualified

because those legs aren't at 180 degrees.

Next, fellow Italian Irene Croce.

What is it with Italian women called Irene and box splits,

and how do you find out you're good at this sport?

-Go.

-Never mind that. Irene 2 is off.

She's going for the toilet plunger technique.

That floor is getting shinier by the second.

Again, though, not sure about the angle of her legs.

19.81 seconds for Irene 2.

But it's a second disqualification.

Poor Irene 2. All that plunging for no glory.

Can the third and final competitor succeed?

It's Kazumi Kawahara from Japan. What? Not an Irene?

Surely her technique can't be any weirder.

Go.

Oh, yes, it can!

It's like an octopus impersonating an injured swan in a phone box.

And I like it!

She's certainly making some waves out there.

And she's crossed the line.

But has she done so quickly enough?

Yes, she has!

Not only has she not been disqualified,

but with a time of 16.9 seconds,

Kazumi Kawahara has a new Guinness world record.

Speedier, stranger, smilier and splittier than the rest.

Congratulations, Kazumi.

Talking of splits,

let's head back to Japan now to see if Ninja Tomaku is ready

to regain his apple-splitting world record.

SWORD SWISHES

GONG REVERBERATES

He's had one go and managed 25.

But he needs to chop at least 30 to get his record back.

Plasters protecting his sore fingers.

# Not giving in... #

His fellow warriors are channelling the ninja spirit,

willing him on to victory.

He is the most ready man I have ever seen!

SWORD SWISHES

HE LAUGHS

This is it. Is everybody ready?

-Go.

-He needs at least 30 to regain the record.

Total miss there!

Amazing accuracy.

A real slice of genius.

SWORD SWISHES

His sword is just so heavy.

It's even harder second time around.

Come on, Ninja Tomaku!

Let's slash this record!

Again, having trouble resheathing his sword.

So dangerous.

Unless you've trained for years in a Japanese ninja school,

never try to cut apples like this.

Come on! Oh, a miss.

Oh!

Stop.

INDISTINCT

You look so exhausted!

-TRANSLATION:

-I'm sorry, love, I can't go on.

I still need to double-check, so let's do this.

29 is the record to beat.

Has he done it?

Please tell us.

Yes. You have now

successfully cut...

-..twenty...

-Oh!

..six apples.

It's so close and he's tried so hard.

His hand is aching. He can hardly lift it.

But he's still shown us that he's a 100% super ninja.

And he is 100%...amazing!

HE SPEAKS JAPANESE

APPLAUSE

Ha! Ha! Ha!