Episode 6 Officially Amazing

This is the world of records.

# Biggest shoe, weirdest face Fastest loo, tightest space

# Longest snake Smallest van

# Heaviest cake Tallest Man

-# Longest ears on a dog! #

-Aw!

-# Most poisonous frog... #

-Argh!

-# And a woman with a beard... #

-What?

# Officially, officially, officially...#

This is Officially Amazing!

The show that brings you some of the speediest...

POLICE SIREN

..spinniest...

BOING

..and the downright most bonkersiest...

Is that even a word? ..records from around the world.

And today is no exception,

for we have some of the most fantastic

Guinness World Records title attempts ever.

Including...

In America, Norman the dog attempts a scooter riding record.

Nothing special about that, apart from it's a dog riding a scooter!

Over in India, we find out why this man is so upset about this apple.

BLUBBERING

And here in the UK,

our competitive friends try to create some of man's best friends

in a balloon doggy making record attempt you can try at home.

First, let's start things off in Old Blighty, with something...

-Huh, huh, huh, huh, huh.

-Oh!

Yeah, woo-hoo!

Uh-oh! Argh!

SHE GIGGLES

Welcome to Wollaton Hall in Nottingham for a brand-new

world record attempt,

involving this chap doing lots of those on his trial bike.

'Meet Joe Oakley. Joe has been trial biking for 13 years.

'It's a bit like mountain biking,

'but with fewer mountains and far more stunts.

'It requires huge amounts of skill, control and dexterity.

'And there's one big quiffed hero brave enough to join him

'in demonstrating the extremity of the sport.

'Yes, that's right, it's...'

Stunt Shires!

'Yes, me and Stunt Shires have become firm friends of late.

'We've got so much in common

'and it certainly beats having to carry a mirror everywhere I go.

'And today, to show off Joe's skills,

'old Stunty has offered to lay his stuffing on the line...'

Right, in you come, Joe. '..so I don't have to.

'Check this out!

'Joe is wheely something!

'And I am wheely scared for Stunt Shires.

'Mind his beautiful face!'

Come on, Joe!

Huh! He's...

Look what you've done. The pressure's knocked his head off!

Don't worry, buddy.

SMOOCHING

SQUEAKING

'Poor Stunty. It just shows how dangerous these bikes can be though,

'particularly when they don't even have a saddle.'

-This doesn't look like a normal bike.

-It's slightly different to...

-It's missing a big bit.

-It's definitely missing a seat.

It gets in the way when you're pulling the bike up towards you and

-doing big tricks. You don't do a lot of sitting on it.

-You're

constantly working your legs and every part of you.

-It's really, really full-on.

-'Today, Joe will be attempting the

'record for...

'Traverse is just a posh word meaning travel across them.

'This is a very tricky record, where Joe has to be super accurate,

'balancing on each barrel

'while hopping around the course as fast as possible.

'Seeing as Stunt Shires is at Quiff Fit for a repair, I thought

'I'd give the barrels a little test with Joe's assistance.

'Remember, he is a highly trained expert, so don't try this at home.'

-A few of these felt a bit wobbly.

-They do move about slightly,

which makes it a little bit more interesting.

-An added layer of jeopardy.

-Yeah, that's it.

'Ooh, I do love jeopardy.

'Right, let's get those rules, shall we?

'The barrels must be 50 centimetres apart,

'with three lower barrels forming a triangle on each end of the line.

'Joe must travel from one side to the other and back,

'meaning 16 barrels should be traversed in the end.

'If Joe falls off or touches the barrels with his feet,

'then he's disqualified.

'And the current record to beat...

'..set by Max Schrom of Germany.

'Can Joe do it?'

Joe, in your own time. Bounce!

He's off! Go on!

Good speed.

'That's brilliant bouncing.

'Joe can hop as many times as he likes on each barrel.'

Yes! 'Ooh, it's a tight turn.

'That was close hopping onto barrel nine, his tyre barely made contact.

'I hope Joe can bounce back from this!'

Ooh!

'14, 15, 16. And done!'

Well done. Well done, Joe!

Wow, that was a heart in your mouth moment there on that barrel.

'He traversed all 16 barrels.

'Here's that hairy moment once more.'

How close were you to slipping off?

Closer than I'd have liked to have been.

obviously just losing a bit of time I'm not very happy with that one.

'So, Joe's bum barrel bounce has left him hopping mad.

'But has it cost him his record?

'Official Adjudicator Anna has the results.

'24.98 seconds to beat.'

You did 12.3

CHEERING

Ten seconds quicker than the current record.

'Incredible!

'Joe has destroyed the previous record,

'but he doesn't seem that happy about it.'

Maybe you almost feel that you could better it.

I think we could get under 12.

Well, I think we better put that to the test, then.

'Wow! Not satisfied with obliterating

'the previous world record,

'Joe wants to go again, in a bid to better it.

'Joe, we salute you.'

Joe, away you go!

'Time starts when he jumps on the first barrel.

'It's another great start.

'You have to be so strong and fit to do this.

'Oh, this is the problem barrel that cost him valuable seconds last time.

'Can he land it?

'Yes, he can!'

It's very fast. No mistakes this time.

Yes! Really quick.

'In Joe's first attempt,

'he set a new world record with a time of 12.3 seconds.

'Has he done enough this time to break it again?'

-You got 10.6.

-10.6 seconds!

'He's done it!

'Joe might have no saddle, but he's set a new world record.

'Twice! What a hero!

'And talking of heroes, we have two of your favourites next,

'and they're out to crush their nemesis - whoopee cushions!'

Wow!

-Oh!

-BURP

Many times on Officially Amazing we film records in quiet,

serene, controlled surroundings.

But not today!

There are some records that people just have to be there to witness.

They want to say, "I was present whilst history was being made."

Today is one such day, isn't it?!

THEY CHEER

This group is here to see two really cool things.

First of all, loads of these.

And the two record breaking bottoms that are going to squish them.

Welcome to the competitive world of whoopee cushioning!

'Yes, today we're hoping to re-break the record for...'

It's the record we all loved so much on the last series,

so without further ado, let's bring on our challenger, US Ray!

All the way from the United States, he's the onesie wearing wonder,

springier than a goat on a mattress on an ejector seat.

US Ray is poised to pump the air out of today's record attempt.

And who's the one person that could compete with US Ray in such

a challenge?

Well, of course, it's the current record holder, the man,

the myth, the Mr, Cherrrrrry!

Cherry San's the man, and last year his top trump rump royally

worked this Guinness World Records' title.

But today, he's here to squidge his score and bag a new one.

Mr Cherry, a world champion. Go!

There's a capacity crowd gathered to witness this wondrous whoopee

wecord attempt - um, er, record attempt!

Plus, it means a bit of time away from the usual lessons.

Before the record begins, let's check out the rules.

The competitor can only squish one cushion at a time.

All cushions must make a noise when sat on, like this.

PRRP!

And any cushions which rip will not be counted.

Cherry's record to beat from last year is a fantastic 48.

Yeah, number one champion.

Can either man achieve such fundamental faux flatulence?

All right, Ray, this is it, how are you feeling?

-I'm feeling good.

-All right.

All right. Three, two, one, go!

'The crowd is loving their American cousin.

CROWD CHANT

'More than 48 and it's a new world record.

'Do it, Ray! He's gone with the shuffle technique,

'That's bum bouncingly brilliant.'

PRRP!

Ray, you're making great time. Keep going.

'Oh, no, he's knocked a few chairs there.

'Will that cost him valuable time?'

-Stop!

-All right.

'That's the 30 seconds up.'

HE CHEERS

'Yeah, all right, Ray. Easy on the celebrations.

'The world champion's about to take his turn.'

Whoo!

'A hush descends on this packed auditorium, as a legend

'readies himself for battle...

'by removing his spangly pants!

'Are they witnessing some tactical genius?

'Only time and history will tell.

'48 his record to beat.

'Can he do it?'

..two, one. Go!

'Off he goes! And such finesse!

CROWD CHANT

'The crowd are being whoopeed into a frenzy.

'Cherry's a machine.

'He's really letting rip on this one, showing why he's

'the world record winning whirlwind, the real whoopee wonder.'

Cherry! Cherry!

'Is history about to be made with a Japanese bottom?'

Cherry! Cherry!

'Well, that was a cheeky effort from Cherry.

'But US Ray's playing to the crowd.

'He thinks he's won this one. Tough call.

'Let's find out how they both did.'

First of all, Anna, please tell me that we broke a world record.

Yes, we got a new Guinness World Record!

'So, confirmation of a new world record.

'But is it for US Ray or Mr Cherry?

'Have we witnessed a new Cherry miracle?'

With an incredible 52, and still the record holder,

the winner is Mr Cherry!

Yeah!

'Sensational!

'US Ray actually matched Cherry's old score of 48,

'but Mr Cherry rose to the occasion with 52 whoopee cushions

'sat on, proving those cheeky Cherry buns are officially amazing.

'And the crowd go wild.'

-CROWD CHANT

-Yeah!

'Right, from one record breaking beast to a whole heap of them now,

'in this new, fantastic record based song.'

# I'm going to tell you about the beasts that we've found

# That have broken the records for the most officially amazing beasts

# In all the world

# Yeah, listen

# These are the beasts

# They have to be seen to be believed

-# You won't believe!

-Record breaking beasts

# No, no!

# Look what Mother Nature has achieved...

# Well, imagine if you were in the water

# And you saw a megalodon

# It's the largest shark that ever lived

# Yeah, it really had it going on

# Around about 16 metres long

# But what does that mean?

# Oh, you don't see what the fuss is Well, just imagine a shark

# That was as long as one and a half double decker buses, yeah!

# Well, what about other big beasts

-# Taking up all the space? #

-Oh!

# Well, how about a giant slithery, slimy prehistoric snake?

# 12 to 15 metres long, yeah, this guy could easily eat 'ya #

Argh!

# Titanic boa was what they called it

# Oh, what a beastly creature!

-# These are the beasts

-Hm, hm

# They have to be seen to be believed

# You've got to see 'em to believe them

# Record breaking beasts

# Look what Mother Nature has achieved

# Let me tell you some more Well, let's be incisive

# And discuss incisors as we talk about lots of teeth

# The land mammal with the most is an armadillo

# He's a 100 tooth having South American beast

# But in Madagascar with the most

# Teeth of all is the common leaf tailed gecko with the power to gnaw

# He got so many teeth, 317

# How much toothpaste does it take to keep them all clean?

# These are the beasts

# They have to be seen to be believed

# Yeah, you got to see them

# Record breaking beasts

# Look what Mother Nature has achieved

# I'm talking about the beasts! #

Right, let's continue this beastly theme with Al in America,

with something...

Hee!

Argh!

I'm here with a dog with an amazing bicycle trick

that'll get your tail wagging in an amazing way.

Meet Norman.

Norman is a five-year-old French briard,

who's certainly got his fair share of va va voom!

He's a whizz on wheels, and today he's going to try

and break a record riding a scooter!

These skills have made him top dog in the USA.

Norman even has his own Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.

So, who wants a pawtagraph?

I had the honour of meeting up with Norman and his owner, Karen,

for a chat before his super scooting record attempt.

You said it was an accident that he learned how to ride the scooter.

Like, I don't... Please explain to me what that means.

So, we had him playing on the kid's toys in the back yard

and one of them was a scooter.

So we had him jump up there, and he loved it, he didn't want to get off.

-Right. He must kind of like doing this, huh?

-Oh, he does.

-Right.

Once he sees a bike or scooter or any prop come out, he's excited.

'Well, I'm excited about today's record attempt, which is...'

It's a record that Norman already holds,

and today he wants to smash it for Officially Amazing.

-Are you ready?

-I'm ready.

-Norman, are you ready?

-Er.

I'll take that as a yes.

I'm definitely ready, so let's get to it.

'So, while Karen and Norman scoot off to get ready,

'let's check out the rules.'

Norman must complete the full 30 metre distance.

He cannot be pushed or pulled,

and any assistance will result in immediate disqualification.

His current record stands at 20.77 seconds,

so that's his target to beat.

He only has one attempt at this, so he needs to nail it first time.

WOOF

'It's looking a little windy out there, which is not ideal.

'Will Norman do it?'

Norman, here we go. Three, two, one.

KLAXON

'With one crack at this, Norm needs to get moving.'

-Go! Norman. Scoot.

-'Here we go!'

-Scoot, Norm, come on, hurry.

-'OK, Karen can't help him any more.'

Good boy!

'He's so clever. Using that one leg to power himself along.'

Scoot, Norm!

Good job, Norman! Hurry, hurry!

'Norm's so near to the end, but can he beat his time?'

Come on, Norm, you can do it. Let's go!

Oh, it's into the wind. Come on, Norm!

'The conditions are against Norman and his one shot at the prize.'

Good boy!

'Good effort, Norm.

'Let's hope the slow start hasn't blown his chances of beating

'his own record.'

Norman, how do you feel out there?

I'm not going to lie, Al, that was tough.

'Has Norman scooted past his old time?

'20.77 seconds to beat.'

Is this big pause meant to be ironic?

With that attempt, Norman achieved a time

of 24.60 seconds.

So, whilst it was an amazing attempt,

unfortunately it wasn't enough for a new Guinness World Records' title.

'Ah, he was so close. Just four seconds short.

'But Norman's record attempting hasn't come to an end.

'That's right, don't miss the next episode of Officially Amazing,

'when Norman will be back, hoping to conquer another record.

'On a bike!'

-Let's do it!

-Bring it on!

It's going to be awesome!

Now though, here's Haruka with a record from India.

Oh!

Welcome to Mumbai in India for a truly dangerous record attempt,

but what do you think it will be?

Will it be the most apples eaten?

The most layered bed of nails sandwich?

Or the most average fashion show?

And the answer...

Most layered bed of nails sandwich.

Whoever knew there was such a thing?

This is a bed of nails, and in case you don't think they are sharp...

Poor apple, oh!

One person lies on the bed of nails,

another bed of nails is placed on top of them, and so on.

Team Manager Vispi is showing that it's just flesh and muscle,

no hidden armour.

He's also very wisely not getting involved in the painful bit.

They need more than four guys in a stack to beat this record.

This guy presumably drew the short straw, or nail,

and he's on the bottom.

By the end of it we might be calling him Pierced Morgan!

Another bed of nails is added, and the second guy is...huge!

Have they thought this through?!

He must have arrived late.

From here on, each guy is smaller than the last.

That's obviously part of the technique,

as well as spreading the weight away from the chest area.

He doesn't look too happy.

Cheer up, at least you're not on the bottom!

And speaking of that guy, has anyone checked he's still alive?

Ah, he's fine! That's four.

One more and they should get the record.

And boy, do they want to nail this! All five in place.

They've got their hopes pinned on this.

Vispi comfortably at the side in his nice, comfortable looking robe.

Now, they need to hold it for ten seconds.

They're hard as nails and it looks like they've done it.

But, what's Vispi doing?

Smashing work, Vispi!

Pointless, but smashing.

Time to get them off.

But have they hammered this bed of nails record?

Ouch! Look at all those holes.

You could have played dot to dot on his tummy.

And what about the guy from the bottom?

Wow! Look at the size of that hole.

Oh, right, yes.

They must be in so much pain.

So, why is Vispi the one that's all upset?

Are they officially amazing?

The record was four, they did five.

Yes!

They've got a new world record, and the presenter's got an apple.

Everyone's happy.

Thanks, Haruka.

Now, from a record you definitely shouldn't try,

to one you really should.

-Eh!

-Hm.

Ha!

Eh, eh!

Argh!

Welcome to today's action-packed showdown, as Mr Cherry...

..US Ray and Sizzlin' Steve take

each other on in a bid to bag new

Guinness World Records titles.

So now, either sit back and enjoy, or get involved

and try the records for yourself at home,

as this is the one and only...

So far, US Ray has one point,

but Steve and Mr Cherry are in the lead with two points each.

It's all so close.

But before we let battle commence today,

we need to know what the world record attempt is.

So, here we are and today's record is...

But first we need the decider.

The envelope, please.

Yes, we participated in a pants challenge,

to decide the essential order in which our competitors would go

in the balloon modelling record attempt.

All we had to do was get ten pairs of pants on in the quickest time.

And that's exactly what I did.

As a result, Cherry sensibly

chose to go last, to learn from the other's attempts and,

as Al was slowest, Ray will go first.

Before the ballooning begins, we had a chat with the guys to see

if they were pumped up to win or just full of hot air.

So, Steve, let's talk about balloon dogs,

specifically the record for the fastest time to make one.

-How are you feeling about that?

-I'm feeling good.

I've been around dogs all my life so I know all the joints in a dog.

Yeah. Cos I hear that your dog is your closest confidant as well.

I mean, is he confident about this record?

-Yep?

-Yeah.

-Great. I mean,

do you think you're going to get it?

-No.

-'Bam!

'Shock tactics from Steve.

'Scaring us all into thinking he's unconfident.

'But we know his capabilities.

'So what's Ray's plan of action?'

Ray, you're going to have to make a balloon dog.

We need some strategy. What's your game plan? Talk to me.

Get my twists right, bing, bam!

Hope for a little luck and some magic, and then - pwoof!

You're giving me your intimidation face right now.

-I'm telling you, it's working again.

-Good, cos I am focused.

-Dog bending.

-Woof!

'A war cry from Ray there.

'But if there's one man that won't terrify, it's Mr Cherry.'

Well, have you managed to break the record during the practice?

No.

-TRANSLATION:

-But I will do, love, don't you worry about that.

What's the hardest thing about making the ballooned model dog?

Um, the fingertips, I have to manoeuvre them well.

I'm not a balloon artist, so it is very hard.

So, you're not very good with fingers.

That's right, I'm not very good with me fingers. They start shaking.

THEY LAUGH

Well, no-one seems entirely confident,

and these rules might not make them feel any better.

The challenge is to make a poodle that looks like this.

And when I say like this, I mean almost exactly the same.

Each of its 12 component parts, yes, even including the tip of the

tail, need to match the specific measurements set out in the rules.

And they need to make the perfect poodle super quickly,

as the current record stands at just 6.5 seconds.

Will yours or any of our competitors' poodles measure up?

Well, let's find out.

Al lost the challenge, so Ray is up first.

CHEERING

I'll count you in from three, two, one, begin.

Good, Ray, there you go. Perfect. Excellent.

-Not looking much like a dog.

-I think it looks just like a dog.

'Have you ever seen a dog before, Al?'

'Ben, I was dressed as a dog ten minutes ago.'

-'You didn't look like that, though.'

-'Anyway,

'Ray's 6.5 seconds are long gone,

'but now he's playing for balloon accuracy.'

Good work, Ray, good work.

'And that all important point.

'Just pop out that tail and boom!'

Oh, cool! All right, and stop!

-Look at that! That's a poodle. Give me some.

-Woof, woof.

All right! There we go! All right.

'OK, that doesn't look bad.

'But each time, Official Adjudicator Anna will have to check those

'all important measurements.

'So, let's move on to Sizzlin' Steve, to show them how it's done.'

CHEERING

OK, I'll count you in. On three, two, one, go!

So look at that, lovely white balloon,

just like the poodle, of course. Surely a good omen.

'Steve's off to a blistering start.

'The 6.5 seconds have passed, but boy, that was a fast time to beat.

'So, now Steve's playing for the point.

'He twists those back legs into place, pops out the tail

'and that is how you make a balloon dog.'

Excellent work, Steve!

I'm very proud of you, sir.

'That dog does not look at all healthy to me.

'It looks like sausages, or hot dogs, I suppose.

'Anyway, Cherry's next, and to inspire him, I thought

'I'd sing an old Japanese song about a police dog.'

CHEERING

Cherry San, are you ready?

I'll count you in. Three, two, one, go!

MUSIC: Theme from Indiana Jones

'He doesn't seem like the most confident balloonist.'

'Yeah, and he's also gone past the record time of 6.5 seconds.'

'Still the point to play for, Ben, and Cherry has a very organic

'approach to balloon modelling, I'll have you know.'

'He also seems to have more balloon left than he started with.

'Is that a poodle or a giraffe?'

-Japanese sheepdog!

-Yeah.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Three very different dogs and three different times.

We know there's no world record today,

as they all took longer than 6.5 seconds, but did anyone

measure up to expectations, to get that all important point?

Everybody is disqualified.

Because all the proportions were wrong.

This is wrong?

This is wrong?

If that's wrong, I don't want to be right.

A dog on a lead.

Yeah, the tail's too long, the front legs are too short,

-the body's too long. There's just...

-Very judgy.

This has never happened before on Officially Competitive.

All of our players were disqualified.

They knew the measurements and how the poodle should look,

but still failed, making it the trickiest challenge yet.

Hopefully you can do better at home.

And so the scores remain unchanged from last time.

Team UK and Team Japan stay on two points,

with Team USA on one.

Nobody said this was going to be easy.

Join us next time for more incredible world records

and world record attempts, like these.

# Cherry won our battle of the bums with a wondrous whoopee display

# He sat on 52, that's quite a few

# To get a record and beat US Ray

# There really was no stopping

# Joe Oakley's barrel hopping

# But Norman's furry paws were just too slow to break a record

# And our competitors were deflated by a balloon dog

# It's all... #