Episode 5 Officially Amazing

This is the world of records.

# Biggest shoe, weirdest face

# Fastest loo, tightest space

# Longest snake, smallest van

# Highest cake, tallest man

-# Longest ears on a dog

-Aw!

-# Most poisonous frog

-Argh!

-# And a woman with a beard

-What?

# Officially, officially, officially

# Amazing! #

'Ello, 'ello, 'ello!

Superintendent Shires here on Officially Amazing Division.

Now, you may or may not know,

I like nothing better than arresting some mega records

and putting them bang to rights. WHIP!

Ooh, and by the sounds of it, here come a couple of

vehicular based ones to help me with my enquiries.

MUSIC: Get Free by the Vines

Oi, stop!

I think I need to have a word with those three.

Hit the siren.

Whilst I go off in hot pursuit, why don't you check out

what's coming up in the rest of today's show?

Let's step on it.

Typical!

'Yes, it'd be criminal if you missed out on the

'Guinness World Records title attempts we've got for you today.

'Check out this line-up.

'The miraculous motoring Moffatts are back, with not one,

'but two ridiculous record attempts.

'And a big surprise.

'Al's got another mystery to solve.

'What is this woman's back bending record breaking talent?

'And our Officially Competitive Masters

'cover themselves with glory.

'And little bits of sticky paper.

'It might look silly, but it's deadly serious stuff.

'But for now fasten your seat belts for something...'

'Hello, HQ, I'm in high speed pursuit of three speeding Minis, over!'

-'Roger, over.'

-'No, not Roger!'

It's Ben. Ben Shires.

'Roger, Shires.'

'Roger Shires? That's my grandad.'

'Why are you chasing your grandad?'

All right, everyone just pull over!

This is too silly, even for us!

MUSIC: Theme from The Bill

'Ello, 'ello, 'ello!

-'Ello!

-'Ello!

Well, well, well, look who it is, the Moffatt Brothers.

Alistair, John, and...

Hang on, who's in the third car?

-It's Trevor.

-He's our brother.

What?!

A third Moffatt brother?!

'Yes, three Moffatts means three times the adrenaline pumping

'pure car-azy excitement.

'In Series One, we met Alistair and John,

'who both broke the World Record for the tightest parallel park.

'In Series Two,

'they joined forces to break the tightest double parallel park.

'Bosh!

'And now, with hitherto mythical third brother Trevor,

'the Moffatts are back to break the ultimate parking record!

'Later, in World Exclusive Scenes, our Moffatt triumvirate will

'take on the record for tightest triple parallel park.

'But first, Alistair's going to attempt a different record,

'which he claims is even harder.'

MUSIC: Theme from Vision On

'Oh, that doesn't look too difficult.

'Even I could do...

'Hang on, what's this? What's he doing?

'Holy hubcaps! It's a car driving on its side.

'On two wheels!

'It's unnatural.

'Alistair is going to attempt the record for the snazzily titled...'

Well, it all sounds rather dangerous, Alistair,

but you're probably the only person we could get to agree to do it.

-Well, you're coming with me.

-What? No.

No, I'm a... I'm a TV presenter, I couldn't do anything like this,

it, it's far too dangerous,

and, and, yeah, absolutely no way.

Shall we have a word with the boss?

Er...

Right.

-Looks like this is happening.

-Come on!

'Help!'

Can't believe I'm going to do this!

Oh! Here's the ramp. Up we go!

Ugh! Oh! Oh!

HE LAUGHS WILDLY

Agh! Agh! Agh!

We're driving on the side! Agh...

Oh, Ben!

Listen to all that screaming!

'I was just pretending, Al.

'Why don't you check out the rules? I'm off to change me pants!'

The car must be driven on two wheels all the way through the gate.

If it touches the posts, it's a fail.

The gap is calculated by deducting the height of the car

from the size of the space it's driving through.

The current World Record is 48cm,

so Alistair will attempt to obliterate that record.

Yeah!

By 2cm. So 46cm the target.

Will he do it?

Well, best of luck, Alistair.

He can't hear me, but I'm going to give him the sign.

Here he comes.

So, Alistair's off, up the ramp and on two wheels!

Now, this might LOOK absurdly difficult...

and that's because it is!

I mean, I struggle to ride a bike on two wheels.

Will he make it?

Oh, so close!

Now, I'm not the adjudicator here,

but it looked like there was a little nick on the post.

How difficult is that?

Chin up, Alistair, let's try again.

Ooh!

And again!

Aah!

And again!

Oh!

Something's going wrong. What's the problem, Alistair?

Just to make a very, very, very hard World Record even harder...

we've got a heavy crosswind.

Wind causing problems on Officially Amazing,

that's not entirely unfamiliar.

HE TRUMPS 'Pardon me!'

Can Alistair overcome his wind issue and break a record?

We'll find out later.

But first, it's conundrum time for Al in...

Officially Mysterious.

Huh! Wah!

What!

Argh!

Oh!

I'm super sleuth Al Jackson, and my mission is to travel America

and try and guess the mystery records held by the people I meet.

So far, I've been officially rubbish!

'I failed to guess eye-popping Kim.'

Oh, my God!

'And tongue-tastic Chanel.'

Oh, my God!

'And even fancy-footed Rob.'

-Can you jump really high?

-No.

'But I did get a tasty sandwich.'

This series, I'm determined to get one right.

Al, I have every confidence, that you'll get this one wrong as well.

Meet Inke.

She holds the World Record for something incredibly difficult

-and dangerous.

-Well, hello.

Can you guess what it is? OK, Al, five questions.

-Um...

-Go!

Does this record involve you needing to be able to contort your body?

Yes.

Does this record, that you hold, mostly involve your legs?

Yes.

-Does it only involve your legs?

-No.

Can you bend over backwards?

Yes.

-Is that part of the record that we're going for today?

-Yes.

-I know what it is now!

-'Huh! Could it be?

'Is Al Jackson finally going to get something right?'

You are going to bend over backwards and put your head between your legs?

-No!

-No?

'How could that even be a record?'

-That's not it?

-No.

I hold the Guinness World Record for archery with my feet.

That's the... I-I didn't even know that was a thing?

'Yes, Inke holds the Inke-redible World Record'

for the furthest arrow fired into a target...with her feet!

'And today, she's going to try and break it. Check this out!'

'She grips a bow and arrow with her toes!

'And does a handstand on stilts.

'Draws the bow with her feet, bends her back and eyes up the target.'

Inke's a trained contortionist,

so she can bend her body into preposterous positions.

Yikes! Let's take a look at the rules.

Inke must be in a handstand position

and the target is only 12cm in diameter.

That's just this little red bit.

Her current record distance is

just over six metres and today, she's attempting a huge 9.14 metres.

This is such a physically-demanding record.

'Ooh, too low.'

Can she get any closer? It's gruelling just to watch her.

Getting nearer, but still wide of the mark.

Inke's decided to bring the target closer.

At 7.6 metres,

it's still over a metre further than her current World Record.

'Every time she pulls the arrow back, it zaps her energy.

'This is so hard.'

That's more like it, but she needs to hit this part of the target.

It's a hit!

Has she done it?

Ooh, just missed that inner zone. So close!

Inke's been shooting for 40 minutes.

She's exhausted,

but she's giving herself one last try to get the record.

No!

I thought she had it.

Trying to beat her record was too much this time...

even for the incredible Inke.

Now, back to Ben.

Officially Driven.

HORN BEEPS

Part Two!

-Whoo, oh.

-Oh! Huh!

Welcome back to Warwickshire, where middle Moffatt brother,

Alistair, is trying, and failing, to break the World Record

for the bonkers tightest gap driven through on two wheels.

But there's a vicious crosswind, which is

making an almost impossible task, well, impossible!

After nine attempts, it's time for the Moffatts' secret weapon.

Give him some sweets.

BEN LAUGHS

Sweets?

Can they help him break a record, or just rot his teeth?

Let's find out.

All right, Alistair's rolling up again. Really hope he gets this one.

Come on!

-Ooh!

-Yes!

Ooh, Alistair's happy. He's still eating his sweets.

Alistair thinks he's done it,

but official adjudicator Liz checks a replay.

She's worried the car was on four wheels as it crossed the line.

If it was, it's a fail. What's the verdict?

Unfortunately, you just went down onto four wheels

just before you passed through the gap, so, unfortunately,

-that's not valid.

-Oh, no!

Oh! Are you ready to go again? Come on! That's it!

John, give him some more sweets.

It's gut-wrenching for Alistair, but he has to go again.

We don't know if he's changed sweets, or if they'll even help him.

Ooh, a bit of a wobble. He's wrestling control back.

Come on!

'Closing in on the posts. Just look at that gurn of concentration.'

Aah!

'Ooh, that looks close.

'But was he still on two wheels when he crossed the line?'

Right, fellas, it's moment-of-truth time.

- Liz, you've checked the footage. - I have.

Hopefully, you've got a result for us.

This was very, very close. I can tell you...

You have achieved the new Guinness World Record!

ALL: Yeah!

Alistair is a true record-breaking champion.

All thanks to some sweeties, and probably a lot of skill

and determination too!

So, that's one record smashed. But Alistair didn't come alone.

It's time for some Moffatt Brothers action, and this year they come with

extra Moffatt - in the mighty form of Trevor!

They're hoping to set the record for...

..a world first!

This means three cars spinning into a space between two parked cars.

Simple?

Not when the gap is only 60cm longer than

the cars you're driving.

Is this possibly the most difficult record that you've attempted?

-It would be, yeah.

-It certainly is up there, yes.

-Yeah.

Can't wait to see this triple Moffatt Brother threat.

You guys go and get yourselves ready for this.

We'll check out the rules.

Each car must stop with their wheels between the yellow

and white lines, and the cars can't touch each other or the parked cars.

Moffatt Brothers, are you ready?

'Come on, boys! Here we go.'

First attempt.

And they're off!

If they're to have a chance, it's vital that Trevor

and John line their cars up properly.

Here they come!

Looking good.

Now it's all down to Alistair to slide into the space they've left.

Come on, Alistair!

Ooh!

John and Trevor brought their cars in perfectly,

but Alistair inched just over the white line, and it's a fail.

Oh, first attempt isn't quite the one. Alistair, that was you, mate.

BEN LAUGHS

'Look how supportive I am!'

-Right, are you guys ready to go again?

-Always ready.

Nice one. Let's do it, Moffatts!

Can they do it on the second attempt?

Moffatt One, Moffatt Two, Moffatt Three.

TYRES SCREECH

Have they done it?

No!

It looks like we've got multiple fails this time, Liz.

Yeah, unfortunately all three of them haven't... have failed that time.

Ooh!

Will it be third time lucky for our three Moffatteers?

One, two...

In they come.

Once again, Trevor in the red car, and John in the white, are spot on.

It's almost balletic precision car-eography.

And here comes Alistair in blue.

Can he do it?

Ooh, this looks like it could be good.

It's mind-bogglingly close.

Adjudicator Liz inspects the tyres. Every millimetre counts.

But what's this? Alistair's adjusted his wheel.

BEN LAUGHS

'Is that allowed?'

Was that a quick little wheel turn there?

Oh, now, this is close.

This is - hold your breath, boys.

Let's have one more look.

Was the blue Mini's front wheel over the white line

before Alistair adjusted it?

- I did see the wheel turn there. - Right, OK.

But I did manage to calculate the result before, to see

- whether it was valid. - OK.

I can tell you that the number of cars that are OK are...

Three! Which means it's a brand-new World Records' title!

We've done it! Moffatts, get out of these cars!

'And three is the magic number!'

'Our superstar brothers have done it again,

'sliding their way into history.

'This time with big brother - Trevor the Titan.'

CHEERING

They came, they saw, they parked!

The Moffatts were officially triply amazing!

CHEERING

I can't wait for next year.

Maybe they'll bring along their sister, Little Miss Moffatt!

Now, let's all sing along. Loudly!

THEY SING

Phew!

Why don't we give our voices a rest and join Haruka for something...

Officially...

-What?

-Uh-oh!

Hah!

Ouch!

We are in Germany to witness a bedazzling World Record attempt,

but what could it be?

Most waistcoats worn by two?

Cosy! Most costume-change illusions in two minutes by an individual?

Wordy!

Most pants worn on the head? Unlikely.

The answer is...

Most costume-change illusions in two minutes by an individual.

The individual being Victoria Petrosyan

and the glamorous assistant being her husband, Sos.

15 costume changes will secure the record.

Ready, steady, change!

That was fast.

Oh, she's doing it herself this time.

If you could get ready for school this quick,

your mum would be seriously impressed.

And a little confused, if you were wearing that.

And yes, we are speeding this up a bit.

She's not Wonder Woman.

There's no time for twirls, Victoria,

it's not Strictly Come Costume Changing.

Is that tablecloth the costume?

Ah, that's better!

That's seven different costumes. She must be magic!

How does she do it? Oh, she's a witch! Makes sense.

-CACKLING WITCH

-My costume is melting!

That's eight.

Nine.

Ten.

11. They're all lovely dresses!

Oh, she seems to have moved on to an underwear finale.

And there is always time for a glitter explosion.

Any more?

HOOTER

Yes! Time's up. That's 15 changes. They've done it!

Oh, don't cry, Vicky, you've just claimed a new World Record.

And if you thought that record was full of razzle-dazzle,

wait till you see...

Officially...

competitive.

Yeah!

Oh! Uh-oh!

This series, we've brought the world's top three

record-breaking legends together, stored them in a top-secret bunker

and set them against each other in a series of

world-record-breaking attempts you can try at home.

Competing for the UK, it's the stupendous Sizzling Steve.

For Team USA, it's the irrepressible US Ray.

And representing Japan is everybody's favourite

underwear model - Mr Cherry.

This is...

Four days into the competition, Cherry and Ray have one win each,

but the mighty Sizzler is in the lead with two.

However, both Ray and Cherry have scored

Guinness World Records' titles.

Will we get another one today?

Today's record is stickies, and if you don't know what that is,

it's the...

-How cool is that?

-Awesome!

All right, let's get to it.

As usual, earlier on, Al, Haruka and I took part in a brutal battle,

to decide the order in which our record breakers would compete.

All right, let's do it for Uncle Sam.

We played the classic game Pin the Nose on the Team-mate's Face,

and I won, by actually putting

Steve's nose on his face.

Then you did a really bad dance to celebrate.

Whatever, Al!

Steve then got to choose whether to go first,

second or third in the sticky notes sticking.

-Last.

-We're going to go last. Get in!

Going last means Steve has the advantage of knowing what

he's got to beat.

MUSIC DWINDLES

Oops, fan's broken. Sorry about that, Steve.

Let's delve into your complicated mind.

So, Steve, most sticky notes on the body in 30 seconds.

Last series, you did sticky notes on the face.

-Obviously, you can probably put more on the body, right?

-Yes.

Right, and do you have to write a note on each one beforehand?

-No?

-"Remember to break record." Done...?

No.

No.

For US Ray, it's all about strategy.

The most sticky notes on the body. What's the best strategy?

Start from the bottom and get here.

-It's a good way to look at life.

-That's right.

And sticky note records.

Stick it!

Heard it here first.

Well, Al, Mr Cherry told me he's got this one in the bag.

TRANSLATED: I have an advantage because my body's enormous.

There you are, you see!

Have you ever found a sticky note hidden somewhere,

like, two days later?

Oh, aye, I've put loads on before, and then fallen asleep, like so,

woke up and there's one on me back.

"On me back," I says. Ha-ha!

Well, notes on the back would still count today, Cherry.

Let's get the rules.

Standard square sticky notes must be used.

They must be stuck on one at a time.

The notes cannot be stuck to each other, but can overlap.

And to get a new World Record, our competitors need to cover

themselves in 32 sticky notes in 30 seconds.

If you want to try this record at home, you'll need...

First up is US Ray.

Three, two, one, go!

'Ray potentially already at a disadvantage,

'as he does have the smallest body.'

He's sticking notes all over. There's no system there.

'Ooh, he's dropped the sticky notes. Disaster!'

We got time. We're fine! We're fine. We're fine.

Don't talk to them.

LAUGHTER

We got this!

-All right.

-Stop!

All right. All right!

'Ray has to hold for ten seconds.

'Any notes that fall off won't count.'

'Steve is willing them to fall.

'There's no place for sentiment in record breaking!'

We'll find out how Ray did at the end.

Now, it's Cherry Time!

Are you ready? Are you ready?

-Oh, no, no, no, no, no!

-Oh! Oh. Wait for it!

-Now.

-OK.

HE GRUNTS

'Incredible scenes, even by Cherry's standards.'

Hah!

COMICAL SOUND EFFECTS

-Japan is the style.

-Are you ready now?

'I'm just glad the pants stayed on.'

No.

COMICAL SOUND EFFECTS

'A quick wash and he's ready to go.'

-How it's done, yeah?

-OK.

-Are you ready?

-OK.

Three, two, one, go!

'And Mr Cherry is off to an amazing start - ordered and precise.'

You get no points for neatness in this game, Haruka.

But he is looking worryingly good! Relentless sticking from Cherry.

Look at the accuracy of every stick.

Oh, no, a lost note!

Will that rob him of a record?

-Stop!

-Ten seconds to wait,

but his laidback technique means these notes aren't going anywhere.

His sneakers are filthy, though!

Look at the power going into every stick.

And to think, Steve chose to follow the Great Cherry!

This is sticky note.

Oh, this is stinky note!

Thank you!

CHEERING

So, Cherry went topless to great effect there.

I don't know about you,

but I'm hoping Steve takes a very different approach.

Thankfully, he's gone for the sitting down,

wearing a baggy T-shirt tactic.

It's his mantra for life.

Note to self - stick notes to yourself, OK?

Three, two, one, stick it!

Go on, Steve!

A scatter-gun approach by the Sizzler.

As the old saying goes, Al, if you throw enough sticky notes,

some of them will stick.

Well, they're not sticking to Steve.

Steve, like, your clothing's nonstick. What's going...

what's going on? Come on, Sizzle!

Is it, like, waterproof clothing or something? Come on, Steve!

-Stop!

-Agh!

-He set the record for most on the floor.

-Shush, you!

-All right.

-You'll blow 'em off.

Stop. OK.

Haphazard, yes.

But as one note falls,

he's already replaced it before it hits the ground.

A mark of the man!

Remember, he needs more than 32 for the record.

Official Adjudicator Anna,

tell me somebody broke a World Record today?

-Unfortunately, no.

-Ugh.

-ALL: Oh!

This is Officially Competitive.

Even though we didn't break a record, let's find out who won.

OK, so, in third place - we had US Ray with 20.

-Oh. OK, 20's a good number.

-ALL: Well done.

That's a good number, I'll take it, good job. All right.

And in second place we have Steve with 27.

- All right! - Oh, Steve!

And Mr Cherry, 29!

CHEERING

Oh, sticky snow! Whoa!

'A proud victory for Japan!'

LAUGHTER

Oh!

'And only three away from the World Record. So close!'

Stick!

Let's see how that affects the scores.

Team UK and Japan now level pegging on two points each.

Team USA still with just one point.

There's a long way to go and anything could happen.

Make sure you join us next time for further fantabulous records,

like these....

# Well, the rubber burned when the Moffatts returned

# With yet another brother called Trevor

# And on two wheels Alistair made Ben squeal

# Then he drove through the tightest gap ever

# Victoria's quick changing was magically officially amazing

# Inke fired arrows with her feet

# But her record she just couldn't beat

# And Cherry won again in his own special way

# It's all officially amazing! #