Episode 5 Officially Amazing


Episode 5

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Transcript


LineFromTo

This is the world of records.

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# Biggest shoe, weirdest face

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# Fastest loo, tightest space

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# Longest snake, smallest van

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# Highest cake, tallest man

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-# Longest ears on a dog

-Aw!

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-# Most poisonous frog

-Argh!

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-# And a woman with a beard

-What?

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# Officially, officially, officially

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# Amazing! #

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'Ello, 'ello, 'ello!

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Superintendent Shires here on Officially Amazing Division.

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Now, you may or may not know,

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I like nothing better than arresting some mega records

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and putting them bang to rights. WHIP!

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Ooh, and by the sounds of it, here come a couple of

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vehicular based ones to help me with my enquiries.

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MUSIC: Get Free by the Vines

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Oi, stop!

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I think I need to have a word with those three.

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Hit the siren.

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Whilst I go off in hot pursuit, why don't you check out

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what's coming up in the rest of today's show?

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Let's step on it.

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Typical!

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'Yes, it'd be criminal if you missed out on the

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'Guinness World Records title attempts we've got for you today.

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'Check out this line-up.

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'The miraculous motoring Moffatts are back, with not one,

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'but two ridiculous record attempts.

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'And a big surprise.

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'Al's got another mystery to solve.

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'What is this woman's back bending record breaking talent?

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'And our Officially Competitive Masters

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'cover themselves with glory.

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'And little bits of sticky paper.

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'It might look silly, but it's deadly serious stuff.

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'But for now fasten your seat belts for something...'

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'Hello, HQ, I'm in high speed pursuit of three speeding Minis, over!'

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-'Roger, over.'

-'No, not Roger!'

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It's Ben. Ben Shires.

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'Roger, Shires.'

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'Roger Shires? That's my grandad.'

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'Why are you chasing your grandad?'

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All right, everyone just pull over!

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This is too silly, even for us!

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MUSIC: Theme from The Bill

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'Ello, 'ello, 'ello!

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-'Ello!

-'Ello!

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Well, well, well, look who it is, the Moffatt Brothers.

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Alistair, John, and...

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Hang on, who's in the third car?

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-It's Trevor.

-He's our brother.

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What?!

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A third Moffatt brother?!

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'Yes, three Moffatts means three times the adrenaline pumping

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'pure car-azy excitement.

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'In Series One, we met Alistair and John,

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'who both broke the World Record for the tightest parallel park.

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'In Series Two,

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'they joined forces to break the tightest double parallel park.

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'Bosh!

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'And now, with hitherto mythical third brother Trevor,

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'the Moffatts are back to break the ultimate parking record!

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'Later, in World Exclusive Scenes, our Moffatt triumvirate will

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'take on the record for tightest triple parallel park.

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'But first, Alistair's going to attempt a different record,

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'which he claims is even harder.'

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MUSIC: Theme from Vision On

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'Oh, that doesn't look too difficult.

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'Even I could do...

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'Hang on, what's this? What's he doing?

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'Holy hubcaps! It's a car driving on its side.

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'On two wheels!

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'It's unnatural.

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'Alistair is going to attempt the record for the snazzily titled...'

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Well, it all sounds rather dangerous, Alistair,

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but you're probably the only person we could get to agree to do it.

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-Well, you're coming with me.

-What? No.

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No, I'm a... I'm a TV presenter, I couldn't do anything like this,

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it, it's far too dangerous,

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and, and, yeah, absolutely no way.

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Shall we have a word with the boss?

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Er...

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Right.

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-Looks like this is happening.

-Come on!

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'Help!'

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Can't believe I'm going to do this!

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Oh! Here's the ramp. Up we go!

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Ugh! Oh! Oh!

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HE LAUGHS WILDLY

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Agh! Agh! Agh!

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We're driving on the side! Agh...

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Oh, Ben!

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Listen to all that screaming!

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'I was just pretending, Al.

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'Why don't you check out the rules? I'm off to change me pants!'

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The car must be driven on two wheels all the way through the gate.

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If it touches the posts, it's a fail.

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The gap is calculated by deducting the height of the car

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from the size of the space it's driving through.

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The current World Record is 48cm,

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so Alistair will attempt to obliterate that record.

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Yeah!

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By 2cm. So 46cm the target.

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Will he do it?

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Well, best of luck, Alistair.

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He can't hear me, but I'm going to give him the sign.

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Here he comes.

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So, Alistair's off, up the ramp and on two wheels!

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Now, this might LOOK absurdly difficult...

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and that's because it is!

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I mean, I struggle to ride a bike on two wheels.

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Will he make it?

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Oh, so close!

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Now, I'm not the adjudicator here,

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but it looked like there was a little nick on the post.

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How difficult is that?

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Chin up, Alistair, let's try again.

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Ooh!

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And again!

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Aah!

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And again!

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Oh!

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Something's going wrong. What's the problem, Alistair?

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Just to make a very, very, very hard World Record even harder...

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we've got a heavy crosswind.

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Wind causing problems on Officially Amazing,

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that's not entirely unfamiliar.

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HE TRUMPS 'Pardon me!'

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Can Alistair overcome his wind issue and break a record?

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We'll find out later.

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But first, it's conundrum time for Al in...

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Officially Mysterious.

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Huh! Wah!

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What!

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Argh!

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Oh!

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I'm super sleuth Al Jackson, and my mission is to travel America

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and try and guess the mystery records held by the people I meet.

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So far, I've been officially rubbish!

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'I failed to guess eye-popping Kim.'

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Oh, my God!

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'And tongue-tastic Chanel.'

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Oh, my God!

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'And even fancy-footed Rob.'

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-Can you jump really high?

-No.

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'But I did get a tasty sandwich.'

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This series, I'm determined to get one right.

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Al, I have every confidence, that you'll get this one wrong as well.

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Meet Inke.

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She holds the World Record for something incredibly difficult

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-and dangerous.

-Well, hello.

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Can you guess what it is? OK, Al, five questions.

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-Um...

-Go!

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Does this record involve you needing to be able to contort your body?

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Yes.

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Does this record, that you hold, mostly involve your legs?

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Yes.

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-Does it only involve your legs?

-No.

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Can you bend over backwards?

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Yes.

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-Is that part of the record that we're going for today?

-Yes.

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-I know what it is now!

-'Huh! Could it be?

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'Is Al Jackson finally going to get something right?'

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You are going to bend over backwards and put your head between your legs?

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-No!

-No?

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'How could that even be a record?'

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-That's not it?

-No.

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I hold the Guinness World Record for archery with my feet.

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That's the... I-I didn't even know that was a thing?

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'Yes, Inke holds the Inke-redible World Record'

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for the furthest arrow fired into a target...with her feet!

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'And today, she's going to try and break it. Check this out!'

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'She grips a bow and arrow with her toes!

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'And does a handstand on stilts.

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'Draws the bow with her feet, bends her back and eyes up the target.'

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Inke's a trained contortionist,

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so she can bend her body into preposterous positions.

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Yikes! Let's take a look at the rules.

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Inke must be in a handstand position

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and the target is only 12cm in diameter.

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That's just this little red bit.

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Her current record distance is

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just over six metres and today, she's attempting a huge 9.14 metres.

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This is such a physically-demanding record.

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'Ooh, too low.'

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Can she get any closer? It's gruelling just to watch her.

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Getting nearer, but still wide of the mark.

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Inke's decided to bring the target closer.

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At 7.6 metres,

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it's still over a metre further than her current World Record.

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'Every time she pulls the arrow back, it zaps her energy.

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'This is so hard.'

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That's more like it, but she needs to hit this part of the target.

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It's a hit!

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Has she done it?

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Ooh, just missed that inner zone. So close!

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Inke's been shooting for 40 minutes.

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She's exhausted,

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but she's giving herself one last try to get the record.

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No!

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I thought she had it.

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Trying to beat her record was too much this time...

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even for the incredible Inke.

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Now, back to Ben.

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Officially Driven.

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HORN BEEPS

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Part Two!

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-Whoo, oh.

-Oh! Huh!

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Welcome back to Warwickshire, where middle Moffatt brother,

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Alistair, is trying, and failing, to break the World Record

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for the bonkers tightest gap driven through on two wheels.

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But there's a vicious crosswind, which is

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making an almost impossible task, well, impossible!

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After nine attempts, it's time for the Moffatts' secret weapon.

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Give him some sweets.

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BEN LAUGHS

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Sweets?

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Can they help him break a record, or just rot his teeth?

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Let's find out.

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All right, Alistair's rolling up again. Really hope he gets this one.

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Come on!

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-Ooh!

-Yes!

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Ooh, Alistair's happy. He's still eating his sweets.

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Alistair thinks he's done it,

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but official adjudicator Liz checks a replay.

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She's worried the car was on four wheels as it crossed the line.

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If it was, it's a fail. What's the verdict?

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Unfortunately, you just went down onto four wheels

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just before you passed through the gap, so, unfortunately,

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-that's not valid.

-Oh, no!

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Oh! Are you ready to go again? Come on! That's it!

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John, give him some more sweets.

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It's gut-wrenching for Alistair, but he has to go again.

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We don't know if he's changed sweets, or if they'll even help him.

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Ooh, a bit of a wobble. He's wrestling control back.

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Come on!

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'Closing in on the posts. Just look at that gurn of concentration.'

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Aah!

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'Ooh, that looks close.

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'But was he still on two wheels when he crossed the line?'

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Right, fellas, it's moment-of-truth time.

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- Liz, you've checked the footage. - I have.

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Hopefully, you've got a result for us.

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This was very, very close. I can tell you...

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You have achieved the new Guinness World Record!

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ALL: Yeah!

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Alistair is a true record-breaking champion.

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All thanks to some sweeties, and probably a lot of skill

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and determination too!

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So, that's one record smashed. But Alistair didn't come alone.

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It's time for some Moffatt Brothers action, and this year they come with

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extra Moffatt - in the mighty form of Trevor!

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They're hoping to set the record for...

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..a world first!

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This means three cars spinning into a space between two parked cars.

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Simple?

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Not when the gap is only 60cm longer than

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the cars you're driving.

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Is this possibly the most difficult record that you've attempted?

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-It would be, yeah.

-It certainly is up there, yes.

-Yeah.

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Can't wait to see this triple Moffatt Brother threat.

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You guys go and get yourselves ready for this.

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We'll check out the rules.

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Each car must stop with their wheels between the yellow

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and white lines, and the cars can't touch each other or the parked cars.

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Moffatt Brothers, are you ready?

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'Come on, boys! Here we go.'

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First attempt.

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And they're off!

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If they're to have a chance, it's vital that Trevor

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and John line their cars up properly.

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Here they come!

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Looking good.

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Now it's all down to Alistair to slide into the space they've left.

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Come on, Alistair!

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Ooh!

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John and Trevor brought their cars in perfectly,

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but Alistair inched just over the white line, and it's a fail.

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Oh, first attempt isn't quite the one. Alistair, that was you, mate.

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BEN LAUGHS

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'Look how supportive I am!'

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-Right, are you guys ready to go again?

-Always ready.

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Nice one. Let's do it, Moffatts!

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Can they do it on the second attempt?

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Moffatt One, Moffatt Two, Moffatt Three.

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TYRES SCREECH

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Have they done it?

0:13:530:13:55

No!

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It looks like we've got multiple fails this time, Liz.

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Yeah, unfortunately all three of them haven't... have failed that time.

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Ooh!

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Will it be third time lucky for our three Moffatteers?

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One, two...

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In they come.

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Once again, Trevor in the red car, and John in the white, are spot on.

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It's almost balletic precision car-eography.

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And here comes Alistair in blue.

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Can he do it?

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Ooh, this looks like it could be good.

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It's mind-bogglingly close.

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Adjudicator Liz inspects the tyres. Every millimetre counts.

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But what's this? Alistair's adjusted his wheel.

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BEN LAUGHS

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'Is that allowed?'

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Was that a quick little wheel turn there?

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Oh, now, this is close.

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This is - hold your breath, boys.

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Let's have one more look.

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Was the blue Mini's front wheel over the white line

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before Alistair adjusted it?

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- I did see the wheel turn there. - Right, OK.

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But I did manage to calculate the result before, to see

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- whether it was valid. - OK.

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I can tell you that the number of cars that are OK are...

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Three! Which means it's a brand-new World Records' title!

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We've done it! Moffatts, get out of these cars!

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'And three is the magic number!'

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'Our superstar brothers have done it again,

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'sliding their way into history.

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'This time with big brother - Trevor the Titan.'

0:15:290:15:32

CHEERING

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They came, they saw, they parked!

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The Moffatts were officially triply amazing!

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CHEERING

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I can't wait for next year.

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Maybe they'll bring along their sister, Little Miss Moffatt!

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Now, let's all sing along. Loudly!

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THEY SING

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Phew!

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Why don't we give our voices a rest and join Haruka for something...

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Officially...

0:17:480:17:49

-What?

-Uh-oh!

0:17:490:17:51

Hah!

0:17:510:17:52

Ouch!

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We are in Germany to witness a bedazzling World Record attempt,

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but what could it be?

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Most waistcoats worn by two?

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Cosy! Most costume-change illusions in two minutes by an individual?

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Wordy!

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Most pants worn on the head? Unlikely.

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The answer is...

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Most costume-change illusions in two minutes by an individual.

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The individual being Victoria Petrosyan

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and the glamorous assistant being her husband, Sos.

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15 costume changes will secure the record.

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Ready, steady, change!

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That was fast.

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Oh, she's doing it herself this time.

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If you could get ready for school this quick,

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your mum would be seriously impressed.

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And a little confused, if you were wearing that.

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And yes, we are speeding this up a bit.

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She's not Wonder Woman.

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There's no time for twirls, Victoria,

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it's not Strictly Come Costume Changing.

0:18:500:18:52

Is that tablecloth the costume?

0:18:520:18:54

Ah, that's better!

0:18:550:18:56

That's seven different costumes. She must be magic!

0:18:590:19:03

How does she do it? Oh, she's a witch! Makes sense.

0:19:030:19:07

-CACKLING WITCH

-My costume is melting!

0:19:070:19:10

That's eight.

0:19:100:19:12

Nine.

0:19:120:19:14

Ten.

0:19:140:19:15

11. They're all lovely dresses!

0:19:150:19:18

Oh, she seems to have moved on to an underwear finale.

0:19:190:19:23

And there is always time for a glitter explosion.

0:19:230:19:26

Any more?

0:19:260:19:28

HOOTER

0:19:280:19:29

Yes! Time's up. That's 15 changes. They've done it!

0:19:290:19:32

Oh, don't cry, Vicky, you've just claimed a new World Record.

0:19:320:19:36

And if you thought that record was full of razzle-dazzle,

0:19:360:19:40

wait till you see...

0:19:400:19:42

Officially...

0:19:420:19:43

competitive.

0:19:430:19:45

Yeah!

0:19:450:19:46

Oh! Uh-oh!

0:19:460:19:49

This series, we've brought the world's top three

0:19:500:19:53

record-breaking legends together, stored them in a top-secret bunker

0:19:530:19:57

and set them against each other in a series of

0:19:570:20:00

world-record-breaking attempts you can try at home.

0:20:000:20:03

Competing for the UK, it's the stupendous Sizzling Steve.

0:20:040:20:09

For Team USA, it's the irrepressible US Ray.

0:20:090:20:13

And representing Japan is everybody's favourite

0:20:130:20:16

underwear model - Mr Cherry.

0:20:160:20:19

This is...

0:20:190:20:21

Four days into the competition, Cherry and Ray have one win each,

0:20:240:20:28

but the mighty Sizzler is in the lead with two.

0:20:280:20:32

However, both Ray and Cherry have scored

0:20:320:20:34

Guinness World Records' titles.

0:20:340:20:36

Will we get another one today?

0:20:360:20:38

Today's record is stickies, and if you don't know what that is,

0:20:380:20:40

it's the...

0:20:400:20:42

-How cool is that?

-Awesome!

0:20:430:20:45

All right, let's get to it.

0:20:450:20:47

As usual, earlier on, Al, Haruka and I took part in a brutal battle,

0:20:480:20:52

to decide the order in which our record breakers would compete.

0:20:520:20:56

All right, let's do it for Uncle Sam.

0:20:560:20:58

We played the classic game Pin the Nose on the Team-mate's Face,

0:20:580:21:01

and I won, by actually putting

0:21:010:21:03

Steve's nose on his face.

0:21:030:21:06

Then you did a really bad dance to celebrate.

0:21:060:21:08

Whatever, Al!

0:21:080:21:09

Steve then got to choose whether to go first,

0:21:090:21:12

second or third in the sticky notes sticking.

0:21:120:21:15

-Last.

-We're going to go last. Get in!

0:21:150:21:17

Going last means Steve has the advantage of knowing what

0:21:170:21:20

he's got to beat.

0:21:200:21:22

MUSIC DWINDLES

0:21:220:21:24

Oops, fan's broken. Sorry about that, Steve.

0:21:240:21:26

Let's delve into your complicated mind.

0:21:260:21:29

So, Steve, most sticky notes on the body in 30 seconds.

0:21:290:21:33

Last series, you did sticky notes on the face.

0:21:330:21:36

-Obviously, you can probably put more on the body, right?

-Yes.

0:21:360:21:40

Right, and do you have to write a note on each one beforehand?

0:21:400:21:43

-No?

-"Remember to break record." Done...?

0:21:430:21:45

No.

0:21:450:21:46

No.

0:21:460:21:47

For US Ray, it's all about strategy.

0:21:490:21:52

The most sticky notes on the body. What's the best strategy?

0:21:520:21:56

Start from the bottom and get here.

0:21:560:21:59

-It's a good way to look at life.

-That's right.

0:21:590:22:01

And sticky note records.

0:22:010:22:02

Stick it!

0:22:020:22:04

Heard it here first.

0:22:040:22:06

Well, Al, Mr Cherry told me he's got this one in the bag.

0:22:060:22:10

TRANSLATED: I have an advantage because my body's enormous.

0:22:100:22:14

There you are, you see!

0:22:140:22:15

Have you ever found a sticky note hidden somewhere,

0:22:150:22:18

like, two days later?

0:22:180:22:20

Oh, aye, I've put loads on before, and then fallen asleep, like so,

0:22:200:22:24

woke up and there's one on me back.

0:22:240:22:27

"On me back," I says. Ha-ha!

0:22:270:22:29

Well, notes on the back would still count today, Cherry.

0:22:290:22:32

Let's get the rules.

0:22:320:22:34

Standard square sticky notes must be used.

0:22:340:22:37

They must be stuck on one at a time.

0:22:370:22:39

The notes cannot be stuck to each other, but can overlap.

0:22:390:22:42

And to get a new World Record, our competitors need to cover

0:22:420:22:45

themselves in 32 sticky notes in 30 seconds.

0:22:450:22:49

If you want to try this record at home, you'll need...

0:22:490:22:52

First up is US Ray.

0:22:560:22:58

Three, two, one, go!

0:22:580:23:00

'Ray potentially already at a disadvantage,

0:23:010:23:04

'as he does have the smallest body.'

0:23:040:23:06

He's sticking notes all over. There's no system there.

0:23:060:23:09

'Ooh, he's dropped the sticky notes. Disaster!'

0:23:110:23:14

We got time. We're fine! We're fine. We're fine.

0:23:140:23:17

Don't talk to them.

0:23:170:23:19

LAUGHTER

0:23:190:23:20

We got this!

0:23:200:23:22

-All right.

-Stop!

0:23:240:23:26

All right. All right!

0:23:260:23:27

'Ray has to hold for ten seconds.

0:23:270:23:29

'Any notes that fall off won't count.'

0:23:290:23:32

'Steve is willing them to fall.

0:23:320:23:34

'There's no place for sentiment in record breaking!'

0:23:340:23:36

We'll find out how Ray did at the end.

0:23:400:23:42

Now, it's Cherry Time!

0:23:420:23:45

Are you ready? Are you ready?

0:23:450:23:47

-Oh, no, no, no, no, no!

-Oh! Oh. Wait for it!

0:23:470:23:49

-Now.

-OK.

0:23:490:23:51

HE GRUNTS

0:23:530:23:55

'Incredible scenes, even by Cherry's standards.'

0:23:550:23:58

Hah!

0:23:580:24:00

COMICAL SOUND EFFECTS

0:24:000:24:03

-Japan is the style.

-Are you ready now?

0:24:030:24:05

'I'm just glad the pants stayed on.'

0:24:060:24:08

No.

0:24:080:24:10

COMICAL SOUND EFFECTS

0:24:100:24:11

'A quick wash and he's ready to go.'

0:24:110:24:14

-How it's done, yeah?

-OK.

0:24:140:24:17

-Are you ready?

-OK.

0:24:170:24:20

Three, two, one, go!

0:24:200:24:22

'And Mr Cherry is off to an amazing start - ordered and precise.'

0:24:240:24:29

You get no points for neatness in this game, Haruka.

0:24:290:24:32

But he is looking worryingly good! Relentless sticking from Cherry.

0:24:320:24:36

Look at the accuracy of every stick.

0:24:380:24:42

Oh, no, a lost note!

0:24:420:24:44

Will that rob him of a record?

0:24:440:24:46

-Stop!

-Ten seconds to wait,

0:24:500:24:52

but his laidback technique means these notes aren't going anywhere.

0:24:520:24:56

His sneakers are filthy, though!

0:24:560:24:58

Look at the power going into every stick.

0:25:010:25:04

And to think, Steve chose to follow the Great Cherry!

0:25:040:25:08

This is sticky note.

0:25:080:25:10

Oh, this is stinky note!

0:25:100:25:13

Thank you!

0:25:150:25:17

CHEERING

0:25:170:25:19

So, Cherry went topless to great effect there.

0:25:190:25:22

I don't know about you,

0:25:220:25:23

but I'm hoping Steve takes a very different approach.

0:25:230:25:26

Thankfully, he's gone for the sitting down,

0:25:260:25:28

wearing a baggy T-shirt tactic.

0:25:280:25:30

It's his mantra for life.

0:25:300:25:32

Note to self - stick notes to yourself, OK?

0:25:320:25:35

Three, two, one, stick it!

0:25:370:25:39

Go on, Steve!

0:25:410:25:42

A scatter-gun approach by the Sizzler.

0:25:420:25:45

As the old saying goes, Al, if you throw enough sticky notes,

0:25:450:25:48

some of them will stick.

0:25:480:25:50

Well, they're not sticking to Steve.

0:25:500:25:53

Steve, like, your clothing's nonstick. What's going...

0:25:530:25:56

what's going on? Come on, Sizzle!

0:25:560:25:58

Is it, like, waterproof clothing or something? Come on, Steve!

0:26:000:26:04

-Stop!

-Agh!

0:26:050:26:06

-He set the record for most on the floor.

-Shush, you!

0:26:070:26:10

-All right.

-You'll blow 'em off.

0:26:100:26:12

Stop. OK.

0:26:150:26:16

Haphazard, yes.

0:26:160:26:18

But as one note falls,

0:26:180:26:19

he's already replaced it before it hits the ground.

0:26:190:26:22

A mark of the man!

0:26:220:26:24

Remember, he needs more than 32 for the record.

0:26:240:26:28

Official Adjudicator Anna,

0:26:280:26:29

tell me somebody broke a World Record today?

0:26:290:26:31

-Unfortunately, no.

-Ugh.

-ALL: Oh!

0:26:310:26:34

This is Officially Competitive.

0:26:340:26:35

Even though we didn't break a record, let's find out who won.

0:26:350:26:39

OK, so, in third place - we had US Ray with 20.

0:26:390:26:42

-Oh. OK, 20's a good number.

-ALL: Well done.

0:26:420:26:44

That's a good number, I'll take it, good job. All right.

0:26:440:26:47

And in second place we have Steve with 27.

0:26:470:26:49

- All right! - Oh, Steve!

0:26:490:26:51

And Mr Cherry, 29!

0:26:510:26:53

CHEERING

0:26:530:26:54

Oh, sticky snow! Whoa!

0:26:580:27:00

'A proud victory for Japan!'

0:27:000:27:02

LAUGHTER

0:27:020:27:04

Oh!

0:27:040:27:05

'And only three away from the World Record. So close!'

0:27:050:27:08

Stick!

0:27:080:27:10

Let's see how that affects the scores.

0:27:100:27:12

Team UK and Japan now level pegging on two points each.

0:27:120:27:16

Team USA still with just one point.

0:27:160:27:19

There's a long way to go and anything could happen.

0:27:190:27:21

Make sure you join us next time for further fantabulous records,

0:27:210:27:25

like these....

0:27:250:27:27

# Well, the rubber burned when the Moffatts returned

0:27:270:27:29

# With yet another brother called Trevor

0:27:290:27:32

# And on two wheels Alistair made Ben squeal

0:27:320:27:34

# Then he drove through the tightest gap ever

0:27:340:27:37

# Victoria's quick changing was magically officially amazing

0:27:370:27:40

# Inke fired arrows with her feet

0:27:400:27:42

# But her record she just couldn't beat

0:27:420:27:45

# And Cherry won again in his own special way

0:27:450:27:48

# It's all officially amazing! #

0:27:490:27:54

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