Episode 15 Officially Amazing

# Officially, Officially Officially Amazing. #

BEN SOBS

I can't believe it's all come to an end.

Even world-record breakers need a rest, Ben.

They can't do it forever.

And this show does make you look like a bit of an idiot sometimes.

I've no idea what you mean,

Haruka, I just love bringing world records to the nation.

Tell me it's not over.

It's not over, then.

Bless you for humouring me.

-No, really, Ben, we still have one more show left.

-The best one.

You mean...the grand finale?

Yes, Ben, and it's full of world-record-breaking

brilliance like this.

How does this man's nose make him a potential record breaker?

And Officially Competitive reaches its dramatic climax

by way of three fully clothed sponge baths.

But first, let's get spring-loaded.

Whee! Whoo!

Er... Huh, huh, huh!

Ow!

This staggering springiness is known as extreme power-stilt jumping.

And this sensational Superman on stilts is Simeon Kiola,

whose soaring stunts have wowed people across the globe.

Today, he's going to be attempting the world record for...

Simeon, what exactly is a power stilt?

A power stilt is a stilt that you wear on your legs

that are designed to propel you into the air and make you run faster.

They also look slightly on the dangerous side. I mean, are they?

Yeah, you have to train very hard, make sure you practise,

make sure you stay safe.

I know that there was a bit of a problem in the build-up to this

in that your best pair of power stilts broke.

That's right, they were a pair that I'd been training on.

These are my backups and I'm confident in these as well.

Well, Simeon, backup stilts or no, I think you're going

-to do great today. Good luck.

-Thank you very much.

-Here are the rules.

Simeon must leap from behind the takeoff line,

complete a forward somersault

and land without falling over.

And the record distance to beat is 6.19 metres,

that's about the length of three-and-a-bit Al Jacksons...

or five US Rays.

To get used to those reserve stilts,

Simeon begins with a few practice attempts.

Oh, that was an awkward landing.

That's why this trained professional wears a safety helmet and why we

have Gary the medic on standby for this difficult and dangerous record.

Do not try this yourself.

Simeon, it's almost record-attempting time.

How are you feeling?

-A bit nervous.

-Yeah? But working towards confidence?

-I hope so.

The timing of this takeoff is vital. Here he comes.

And it's a safe landing.

Now, that is some stunning somersaulting stilt work.

But he did take off well behind the red line.

Will that mean he'll fall short of that 6.19 metre target?

That was 5.25 metres.

Simeon needs an extra metre,

so he must take off as close to that red line as possible.

That looked better. What a boingasault!

He's like an acrobatic kangaroo.

-But did he go further this time?

-That one...

4.99 metres.

Oh, so despite that perfect takeoff,

Simeon couldn't improve on his first go.

And, with fatigue setting in,

he feels he's got just one last attempt in him.

He needs to keep his leap flat and low to get that distance.

Can he find the power he needs, even on those backup stilts?

Great takeoff.

And that was long.

Has our very own jumpasauraus

boinged his way into the record books?

Simeon, that was a great jump.

Good luck for this on your third and final attempt.

Mark, how exactly did Simeon do?

The record to beat was 6.19 metres, that attempt...

5.28 metres.

Oh, OK, so, not quite the record but still an incredibly long jump.

-You must be pleased with that, Simeon.

-I'm pleased with how I did.

Hopefully with a bit more training, I could have another go one day.

So Simeon falls just short

but his special space-age springy somersaults were a joy to watch.

Now over to Al and Haruka for a study in silliness.

Ah!

Meet Richard Ljungman of Sweden. He's an expert in balancing.

Look.

This is pretty good. Very good, even.

Surely all drinks should be served like this.

Extraordinary.

Wait, he's not going to use that violin bow to play that, is he?

HE PLAYS THE CAN-CAN

No way!

-OK, maybe that's enough of that.

-But what's his secret?

Years of training? Is it all just a clever illusion?

Is he a Jedi?

We have to know.

How can you keep the balance like that?

-I don't know.

-Oh, disappointing.

-Never mind, Al,

you're going to love this record attempt for...

The current record stands at 12.22 metres

but the pole measures 13.01 metres.

That's roughly the length of a large bus.

Richard has to balance that pole on his nose for ten seconds.

CHEERING

I really hope he doesn't need to sneeze.

He could shoot the pole into the audience

and make a shish kebab out of everyone in Row G.

Last few seconds.

He's done it!

-Haruka...

-Yes?

-I guess you could say

he really NOSE what he's doing.

Ugh...no.

We apologise for that pun by Al Jackson.

Normal service will resume...

right now.

HE STRAINS

Argh!

It's the giant from Japan, Mr Cherry.

-It's the superstar from the States, US Ray.

-And it's the...

bloke from Britain, Sizzling Steve.

For the last time this series... HE SNIFFLES

..they're here to complete for a world record

that you can try at home. This is...

After his wondrous, watery world record last time...

I won, whoo!

..Cherry became a triple champion.

We'll be bowing at his coronation later on but, first, there is

still pride to play for.

Ray must win today to share that silver medal with Steve.

-Hang on, there are silver medals?

-Er, no.

Oh. Our final event of the series is a team game.

Last time we tried this, I may have cost Team UK

an almost certain world record when I illegally stepped over the line.

Steve has never forgiven me. Let's get his thoughts in the team talks.

I know you've been seething ever since then.

-It was your fault, so...

-Yeah, there you go again.

-Did we peak last time?

-No, we can definitely do better than last time.

-We can.

-Yes, provided you don't mess up again.

-We're going to get this?

-Yup.

-Let's do this.

Team UK working in perfect harmony(!)

Hopefully, Team USA can capitalise.

All right, let's be real. If you lose today, you're going

to come in last. How are we going to avoid this happening?

I've got great aim. I'm just going to focus...

-..and hit the target.

-Do it.

They seem up for it. Time to hear from the champ.

Cherry-san, you're already champion three times in a row.

How do you feel?

Mochiron...

-YORKSHIRE TRANSLATION:

-There were loads of pressure from Steve and Ray.

Also, the life of a record-breaking colossus is a solitary existence.

But I always seem to win.

The words of a true champion.

Team Japan!

Now the rules.

The distance between team members must be three metres

and contestants must stay behind the marked lines.

Sponges need to strike fully in the face to count

and the target to beat is 18 hits in 30 seconds.

It's the final Officially Competitive record of the series.

Spongeageddon Two - The Wettening.

Chantha, over to you.

Three, two, one, go.

OK!

Cherry doesn't even have to win this one

but Team Japan won't take a backward step.

We won't take a forward step either, or we'll be disqualified.

Right in the face, please.

It's a two-handed approach from Mr Cherry.

He's forsaking power for deadly accuracy.

And with that accuracy, he's giving Haruka's face

-an extreme exfoliation.

-And she's loving it.

She's expertly meeting everyone of those sponges with a radiant smile.

-KLAXON

-Well...

Team UK are next.

Remember, Ben, don't step over that line.

Don't worry, Haruka, I'll never make that mistake again.

Go!

Wild throwing from Steve. Are the nerves getting to him?

Ben's jumping all over the place to try and reach the sponges.

Keep away from that line, Ben!

Surely he just stepped on it.

Well, I thought so.

But did Chantha?

-Never touched it!

-I think Steve's dreams have been crushed again.

Five, four...

Oh, have I sacrificed the quiff again for nothing?

-Stop.

-KLAXON

At least I can call you Spongeben Wetpants from now on.

Oh, thank you.

-It's your turn now, mate.

-Go!

Whoa! That one was fully loaded.

That was like getting slapped in the face with a wet haddock.

A few slightly wild throws from Ray there

but those dripping sponges can be tough to control.

But when Ray does hit, he really hits.

There's a little bit of malice behind some of those throws.

Hey, with Ray, it's all or nothing.

There's no time for half measures

when there's a world record at stake.

-KLAXON

-I get that.

But it did hurt.

WATERWAY to end the final Officially Competitive

of this series.

And WATERWAY it would be

if we got a world record. A final one, Chantha, do we have it?

Yes, we do.

CHEERING

-I had to disqualify Team UK...

-Ah...

..because, Ben, you stepped on the line again.

-Great(!)

-Unbelievable.

Lightning strikes twice.

Which is especially dangerous with that much water around.

And the winner, with a total of 19 sponges is...

..Team Japan.

Incredible, Haruka's first ever world record

and a fourth of the series for the matchless Mr Cherry.

Samurai spirit!

So Mr Cherry streaks clear to win his third Officially Competitive

title, a supreme performance.

Seven victories and four new world records.

He's unstoppable, unbeatable and probably immortal.

Let us honour our king.

I am amazing!

What a champion he is and what a series it's been. See you next time.

# Well, we've seen scorpion kicking

# Incredible tricking

# Doggy football to inspire

# Fantastic feats on horseback

# And a go-kart that breathed fire

# Rebecca was spun by Donovan

# Team Voodoo took to the skies

# Lee Mack's aim was true He got the most number twos

# And a record for bull's-eyes

# The Moffats got another win

# With a record-breaking doughnut spin

# Space Cowboy juggled up high

# Do not give that one a try

# In Officially Competitive

# Our legends clashed again

# Bums were scooted

# Blowers were tooted

# There was pyramid-based pain

# We saw Steve give sprinting a try

# We saw Ray jump really high

# But Cherry from Japan was our triumphant man

# He's an officially amazing guy

# Mamma Lou was our Queen of Hearts

# Ben's warm-up was full of...

FLATULENCE

# Oh, we've seen some incredible stuff

# And just in case all that wasn't enough

# We've had awesome flipping jet-skis guys

# Roisin flying through the skies

# Ben's kinetics

# Incredible hoop-jumping tricks

# They are all officially

# And you could be officially

# In a world that is officially

# Amazing. #