Episode 14 Officially Amazing


Episode 14

Ben, Al and Haruka witness record attempts from around the world. Strong woman Mama Lou returns, and this time she is ripping decks of cards in half.


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# Officially, officially Officially Amazing! #

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Welcome to Officially Amazing,

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the show that brings you a menagerie

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of the newest, fastest

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and craziest records and record attempts from around the world.

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Oh, hello!

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Coming up on today's show we've got all sorts of exciting...

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Exciting things like this.

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Make sure you watch. Mama-Lou, where are we going?!

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What record attempt gets these yo-yo yogis in a spin?

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And our three superstars get wet and wild.

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First, though, a ripping yarn.

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HE GROANS

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Ow!

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She can rip a phonebook with her bare hands.

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She can crush an apple with her bicep.

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She can wreck an iron bar.

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It's the return of amazing American strong woman Mama-Lou.

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Last time we saw her she was destroying the world record

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for rolling frying pans.

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And now she's back for another ripping record.

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So let's talk about what you're going to do today.

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I'm going to do my best to tear in half

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the most decks of cards

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in one minute with just these two hands.

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Now, quite handily, I always carry my trusty deck of cards here.

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Stand back, everyone.

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Come on, Ben, get in there!

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-I'm getting in!

-Get your man hands on it.

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-I don't have those.

-Just tear it in half.

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HE GROANS

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I know you've got it in you.

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No, it's not... it's not in me!

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-Ouch! Can you show me how you do it for real?

-Sure.

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You're actually tearing them!

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SHE GROANS

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-That's incredible. Huzzah!

-Huzzah!

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Put yours down. Mine looks worse like that.

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Here are the rules...

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The cards must be brand-new,

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they must be ripped as a full deck, not individually,

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and the target for this new record is five decks ripped in one minute.

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Mama-Lou, are you ready to get all hands on deck?

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-Ready.

-Excellent.

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-Three, two, one, go!

-BUZZER BLARES

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Come on, Mama-Lou!

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SHE GROANS

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Yes! Yes! Show them who's boss.

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Yes! One down. Look at that grip!

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It's like a vice clamped onto the cards.

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'Incredible hand strength.' SHE GROANS

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Yes! She's really decking them. Come on!

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-30 seconds.

-Halfway through, come on, Mama-Lou.

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SHE GROANS Yes! Excellent! Great pace!

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'A stately home is, of course, the perfect setting

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'for a brutal record like this.'

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-That's four decks!

-Five, four...

-Come on, Mama-Lou.

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..three, two, one, time up!

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Oh, that was an incredible, incredible attempt. How did she do?

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We needed five for the record and you managed to tear just four.

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OK, really close.

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Mama-Lou, do you think you've got another attempt in you?

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I think so.

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-Go!

-BUZZER BLARES

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SHE GROANS

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Yes! First one down.

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She's showing those cards no mercy.

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MONSTER GROAN

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Oh, yeah, go on.

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'Can she maintain this momentum?' Two down, brilliant pace.

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'They say you have to know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em.'

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-'But Mama-Lou just destroys them.' That's it, yes!

-30 seconds.

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That's three before halfway.

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Just two to go for the record.

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SHE GROANS Yes! Come on, now!

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-Come on!

-Ten, nine...

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Will yet another deck meet its doom before her time is up?

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..three, two, one, time!

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OK, OK!

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Unbelievable. Mama-Lou, are you excited by that?

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-I am.

-I can't believe I did it.

-But has she?

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Official adjudicator Mark must check that every card in every

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deck has been fully ripped in half.

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In order to get a record you needed five decks of cards

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torn in one minute.

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I can tell you that you did indeed achieve five.

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-Congratulations.

-There's no doubt who won that game of cards.

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Now, let's spin-off to Al and Haruka for some yo-yo magic.

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HE SCREAMS

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SHE LAUGHS

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This is Yang Yuan-Ching from Chinese Taipei.

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Dressed as a ninja.

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And the USA's John Higby.

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Dressed as a wacky uncle.

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They may be working together here

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but soon they'll be rivals as they both attempt the world record for...

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And they must do that without toppling over any of these glasses.

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The target is ten napkins and Yang's up first.

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Look at that!

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The spin on the yo-yo catches the napkin

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and with a flick of the wrist, it's whipped from under the glass.

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Amazing!

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Although, it is hard to see a day-to-day application for this.

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Look at the way he spins the yo-yo to wind itself up.

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SPIN-CREDIBLE!

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He's Yang Yuan-Ching, the yo-yo king!

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HORN BLOWS

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And that's the minute up. An impressive score of 12 from Yang.

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While Yang and the host laugh it up, poor John has to retrieve

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and reset the discarded napkins all by himself.

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Poor John.

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Can he recover and spin it to win it?

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Go!

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Good start, Uncle John.

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He whipped that away beautifully.

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He's having trouble rewinding that yo-yo.

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Yang looks pleased.

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He thinks the record is in the bag.

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Oh, no! The glass has toppled. Total disaster for John!

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Time's up.

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Uncle John got the target of ten

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but Yang's score of 12 is a new world record.

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And here come the ceremonial horses.

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-Horses, of course, are huge yo-yo fans.

-Really?

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-No, I just made that up.

-Well, stop it!

-Oh, right.

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Here's a song about record-breaking bottoms instead.

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Oh, now you're just being ridiculous!

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# Bum, bum, bum, bum

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# Record-breaking makes You feel fine

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# And that's the bottom line

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# American Matt Bray kept on pushing

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# To get the record for sitting on The most whoopee cushions

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# Cherry was the champ With a 52 score

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-# But Matt used his bum to get

-54

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# Michel Levanine is A Frenchman with flair

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# He crushed a whole load of eggs With his derriere

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# It only took him a minute This record-breaking bloke

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# He crushed 72

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# Now, that ain't no yolk

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# Yamagata City in Japan

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# Over 1,800 people hatched a plan

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# They all sat together On a single chair

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# Well, they do say It's good to share

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# So for all these records What do you need?

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# Not brain, not brawn Not strength or speed

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# You need the body's biggest muscle To be like us

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# It's the gluteus maximus

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# That's right!

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# Record-breaking is easy for some

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# But only when you use your bum. #

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THEY BREAK WIND

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HE SCREAMS

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SHE LAUGHS

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Now, for the penultimate time this series,

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our trio of prize fighters attempt world records

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that you can try at home.

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In the red and white corner...

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Mr Cherry!

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In the red, white and blue corner...

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US Ray.

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And in another red, white and blue corner...

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Sizzling Steve.

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This is...

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Last time Mr Cherry's paperclip chaining skills pushed him to the

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top of the leaderboard.

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Owwww!

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Meaning, with just two events left, a win today will confirm him

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as our three-time champion.

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When our legends last tried this event back in series two,

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Mr Cherry claimed the world title.

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But it's since been taken from him by Sybrand Dijkstra of Holland.

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Mr Cherry, are your hands ready to reclaim this record?

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HE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

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The record is...

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Yes, this one is personal for Cherry.

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Let's get his thoughts in the pre-game chat.

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How painful was it to have your record taken from you?

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-TRANSLATION:

-It were like a dagger to me heart

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but this is what record-breaking is all about,

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you lose, you win, you lose, you win.

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It goes with the territory, love.

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But I'll get this one back.

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I'll see to that.

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Mr Cherry has a thirst for vengeance,

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whereas Steve just needs to do much WETTER than last time.

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So, Steve, you've attempted this record before.

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How can you possibly improve?

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I've improved on just pouring water into the tube.

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Right, OK.

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Well, that's all right, then.

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But Ray has a few watery worries.

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-Let me see your hands. They're not that huge for moving water.

-No.

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We need to see how quickly you can move your hands.

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Move your hand to the right.

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Pull your hand to the left.

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Disco time.

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# Ah, ah, ah, ah Stayin' alive... #

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-US Ray, all the way.

-Disco Ray.

-Disco Ray.

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Sadly for Ray, disco has absolutely nothing to do with this record.

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So that was pointless. Here are the rules...

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Contestants may only use their hands to move the water.

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The container of water and the

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measuring vessel must be one metre apart,

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and the record to beat is 2.241 litres moved in 30 seconds.

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-Ray's up first.

-Three, two, one, go!

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BUZZER BLARES

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And there he goes. Turning those little hands into little buckets.

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And look at Cherry keeping a close analytical eye on his rival.

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Don't be cute with it, let's go.

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The plan was supposed to be for speed

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but Ray seems to have opted for accuracy over pace.

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Keep the bottom cupped.

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Surely Ray should have been allowed to wear huge gloves to help

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make his tiny hands a little bigger.

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Feel it, feel it!

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-Stop!

-Time's up!

-Well done!

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Now, the former record holder, Mr Cherry.

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-Are you ready?

-No.

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-Yes.

-Go!

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Cherry is perfectly in tune with the water.

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Oh, he's developed a beautiful and effective scooping action.

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It's like he's caressing his pet hamster as he gently pours

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it into the jug.

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Now, your eagle eyes may have spotted some water loss.

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But at the same time, the delivery is always huge.

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SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

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-BUZZER BLARES

-Stop!

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Legendary liquid lifting.

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Weave your watery spells, Sizzleoid.

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-Go!

-BUZZER BLARES

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'Steve's opted... Watch it, Steve!

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'..to transfer the water in the opposite

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'direction to every-one else.'

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Will that be a game changer or a total waste of everyone's time?

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He has a haphazard technique. Frenzied, even.

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This is terrible. The water is going everywhere.

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Yes, at times he does seem to open his hands too early.

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And at this level of water moving,

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every drop of water loss is absolutely critical.

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-Stop!

-BUZZER BLARES

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And, inexplicably, Steve dunks his head in the water.

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Any shampoo makers thinking this could be the face of your new

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adverts, contact me at this address:

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I think that was the most impressive thing about that attempt, Steve.

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Well, that was incredible!

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So, Shanta, please tell us, do we have a new world record?

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Yes, we do!

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OK, tell us who's got the record and

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that all-important competitive point.

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Well, in third place

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with 1.25 litres was...

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Ray.

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Darn, your small hands, Ray.

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And in first place with a total of

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2.274 litres is...

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..Mr Cherry!

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So Cherry reclaims his record.

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Whoo! Yay!

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And adds another certificate to his collection.

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And he also becomes our triple

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Officially Competitive champion.

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He's two points clear and with only one event left, he can't be caught!

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Will Cherry put himself on top of his own cake?

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Will Ray avoid coming dead last?

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Will Steve need a blow dry?

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Find out next time in our series finale as we showcase

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more bona fide brilliance like this...

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# Well, Mama-Lou knew just What to do

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# To break a record for Tearing up cards

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# She ripped and wrecked Five complete decks

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# But Ben made One look hard

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# Steve got rather damp As Cherry became our champ

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# And won his water moving Record back

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# He really has the fluid flinging knack

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# And yo-yo Yang was better Than Uncle John #

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# But here comes the rubbish bits The outtakes. #

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And ridiculously...

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HE LAUGHS

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I've said my words wrong.

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Oh, no, no. No, sorry!

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Sorry, my fault.

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What?!

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Sensational strong woman Mama Lou returns to Officially Amazing, and this time she's ripping decks of cards in half. There's a yo-yo contest from China. And Mr Cherry, Sizzling Steve and US Ray get wet and wild as they compete to move water with their hands.


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