Episode 5 Officially Amazing


Episode 5

Ben, Al and Haruka witness record attempts from around the world. The Moffatt brothers are back with a spectacular car-spinning record attempt.


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Transcript


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Ta-da!

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Welcome to Officially Amazing,

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the show that goes to the greatest of great lengths to bring

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you the most spectacular world records from across the globe.

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The Moffatts are back, attempting their most difficult record yet.

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What on earth are these guys doing?

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Find out later. First, we must hotfoot it to the secret bunker.

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Three legends.

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One top secret hideout

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and a series of world record attempt that you can try a home.

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Featuring the pride of Britain, Sizzling Steve.

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-American Idol US Ray.

-And Japan's all conquering Mr Cherry.

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Strap yourselves in for...

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Last time, Ray's Tigger-like talent

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propelled him to a first point,

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but the Sizzler's two points and one world record see him

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remain proudly atop the school board like a ravishing colossus.

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Over now to the bunker, for some breaking news.

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Today's record requires strict safety precautions.

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Nose pegs on standby.

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Bunker doors flung widely open and absolutely no naked flames

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within a ten mile radius.

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A Code Red fart alert has been issued

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because today we are dealing with baked beans.

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ALARM SOUNDS

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Yes, today our competitors is will attempt the record for

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most baked beans eaten with chopsticks in one minute.

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History tells us that Ray is a chopstick chump.

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Can he do better today? Time for a team talk.

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-Oh, Ray. Chopsticks again, huh?

-Hey.

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Last year, you said with the chopsticks you were

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ambidextrous, you could use your right

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and left hand, but you were equally terrible with both.

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-Which hand are you going to be using the year?

-I'm going to go right.

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-All right.

-Can't go wrong when you go right.

-That's right.

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And you are right with Ray.

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-BOTH:

-US RAY! US RAY! US RAY! US RAY!

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Yeah!

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BEN: Customary delusion from the US camp.

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BEN SCOFFS

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They don't know that Steve has spent weeks

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conducting fastidious bean research

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and even took this photo to prove it.

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This research - have you tried

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different varieties of beans?

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I have tried all them to find a perfect bean.

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I suppose in doing so,

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you have become a bit of a baked bean enthusiast.

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-No.

-What could go wrong?

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Eh...

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..dunno.

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While Cherry knows exactly what could go wrong.

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Have you ever eaten baked beans before?

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-TRANSLATION:

-Oh, aye, English baked beans

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are t'best in the world.

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HE IMITATES BREAKING WIND

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So your training has been quite windy.

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-TRANSLATION:

-It has been highly unpleasant, yes.

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THEY LAUGH

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TMI, Cherry-san. Here are the rules.

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The beans may not be drained of their sauce.

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Only one bean may enter the mouth at a time

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and only chopsticks can move them.

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Our bean eaters must demolish 50 beans in one minute

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to set this new record.

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Reliably rubbish chopsticker US Ray is up first.

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Three, two, one...go!

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Come on, we, you have got this. All right... Oh, that went nicely.

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'Yes, Al, some beans are actually going into his mouth.'

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'I knew my little man wouldn't let me down.'

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He is doing quite well.

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'He is doing better than "quite well", Ben.

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'This is a previously incompetent man - now look.

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'He is living the bean-y dream.'

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'Yeah, the thing is, Al, on closer inspection,

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'there is not always a bean trapped between the sticks.

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'He missed that one...

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'and that one.'

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'But you can take that one all the way

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'to the Baked Bean Bank of America.'

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'Yeah, he missed that one too.'

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-Five, four, three, two, one.

-KLAXON SOUNDS

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Good job.

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'Next at the dinner table - a genuine chopstick champion.'

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Are you hungry, Cherry-san?

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HUNGRY!

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Three, two, one...go!

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'This record means so much to Cherry.

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'His hands are visibly shaking.

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'Look at them.'

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'Sensitive scenes.'

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'Cherry is using Steve's personal bean dish.'

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'An incredible show of sportsmanship from the Sizzler,

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'but will he regret such baked bean bonhomie?

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'The man from Japan is a bean-chomping machine,

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'demolishing bean after bean after bean.'

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-Three, two, one.

-KLAXON SOUNDS

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'Is this the face of a champion?

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'Or will Steve's extensive baked bean research

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'give him the winning edge?'

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'He has insisted on decanting his own beans,

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'as it his right.'

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'How is that going to help, though?'

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'Who knows?!

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'Steve is someone with a degree in bean studies, apparently.'

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Beans, beans, good for the heart. The more you eat...

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the better chance you have of breaking this record.

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-Come on!

-Three, two, one...go!

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'The stakes are so high in world-class bean-eating,

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'but the Sizzler is eating up the pressure and the beans.'

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'Steve's eyes are like lasers -

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'as one bean goes down,

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'the next is already being identified as a target.

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'Incredible!'

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'True fact, Steve is not actually swallowing every bean.

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'He is storing them in his cheeks

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'and planning on scoffing the lot in the final seconds.

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'Observe his emergency cup of water in case it all goes wrong.'

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Five, four, three, two, one.

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KLAXON SOUNDS

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'Shantha gets the final glory

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'of ensuring the Sizzler's mush is bean-free.

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'Bleaurgh.

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'Did any man break the magic 50-bean barrier?'

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Has Ray finally mastered the chopsticks?

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Ray came third with 36 beans.

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'35 more than I predicted.'

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Both Mr Cherry and Steve beat the minimum.

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There were only six beans in it.

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'Less than a forkful!'

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The winner, with 71 beans, is...

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..Mr Cherry.

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'So Cherry claims his first world record of the series.'

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Baked beans master!

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-TRANSLATION:

-Oh, I've got a bellyache.

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HE IMITATES BREAKING WIND

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Steve is devastated.

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He smashed the record

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but still lost to baked bean bulldozer Cherry-san.

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Chop! Chop-chop-chopstick.

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So with Cherry and Steve joint top with two points

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and one world record each,

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the game is on.

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But right now, it is time for...

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TYRES SQUEAL

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COUGHING

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Throughout Officially Amazing history, we have been stunned

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by the incredible record-breaking feats

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of the mighty Moffatt brothers.

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But now, there is a new set of stunt siblings in town.

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They live...fast.

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They look cool. They could totally break any record they wanted to.

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But, sadly, they got stuck in traffic.

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So we've got the Moffatt brothers back!

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Yes, today the magnificent motoring Moffatts...

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..will attempt the world record for...

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Which is this.

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Three cards simultaneously skidding around 360 degrees in a small space.

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Next-level complicated.

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Every time that you have been on Officially Amazing, every series,

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you have always broken the record.

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So, we are going to do that again today, right?

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-Yeah?

-Yes.

-Hopefully.

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As I say, no pressure,

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but please don't let Officially Amazing viewers down.

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THEY LAUGH

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Let's ignore the nervous laughter and get to the rules.

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All three Moffatts must complete ten doughnuts

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within a marked-out circle,

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the diameter of which is three-times the length of the cars.

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The cars must not touch, and the Moffatts need to perform

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ten doughnuts in 55 seconds for the record.

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Moffatt brothers, in your own time.

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'OK, Trevor is doughnut-ing.

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'So is John.

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'And that is Alistair spinning too. The attempt is on.'

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Looking good. They are all three in now.

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'They have to drive with such precision to keep within the circle

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'and avoid hitting each other. It is looking good.

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'Could we have a record on the first attempt?'

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Oh!

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'Oh, but Alistair has spun out.

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'He had to leave the circle after just five doughnuts

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'to avoid being hit by Trevor.

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'It goes from bad to worse,

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'as the Moffatts can't complete ten doughnuts,

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'let alone do it in record time.'

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Oh, we have lost Trevor.

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We've lost John.

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No.

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There is something just not quite clicking at the moment.

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If the Moffatts can't get the communication

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and the choreography right,

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this record just isn't going to happen.

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'Every attempt is mentally and physically exhausting.

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How long can the Moffatts keep this up?'

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This time will they nail it? I hope so.

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'This is much better.'

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Come on, Moffatts.

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'Three Moffatts spinning in perfect unison. They are nearly there now.'

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That is it, keep it up.

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KLAXON SOUNDS

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'That is ten doughnuts at last!

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'But did they do it in record-breaking time?'

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I can tell you that it was a valid attempt.

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You needed a time of 55 seconds or less.

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I can tell you your attempt took 50...

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-5.2 seconds.

-Oh, no!

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'Oh, 0.2 seconds outside of world-record time.

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'Agonisingly close.

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'Can the Moffatts recover from the setback?

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'Is the record even possible?

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'Is there a man on Earth more titanic than Trevor?

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'Find out after things get hot.'

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Uh-oh...

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Welcome to Italy, where Trever, with two Es, and Lloris

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will battle to break Trever's world-record for...

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Yes, that means walking barefoot on fire for more than

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181.9 metres.

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Sounds like a terrible idea, mostly because it is.

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But these guys have a plan - mind over matter.

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'Please don't burn feet

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'even though I am going to tread on the really hot fire.'

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Hmm... Is that really going to work?

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I have my doubts. Anyway, it is time to walk on fire.

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They do not look like they are having a good time.

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They are walking on coals that are burning

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at over 500 degrees centigrade.

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-Ow!

-Lloris has stopped. He is nowhere near the record.

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Trever is still going. Oh, he has given up too.

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The presenters are thrilled. What went wrong?

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Every fire walk, you don't ever know ever know what will happen.

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You just have to have faith.

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If the universe will allow you, you will walk that line.

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Oh, so it was the universe's fault.

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Nothing to do with cooking your own feet.

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Laws of science - one, positive thinking - nil.

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But, just in case -

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please, Universe, make some magic for the Moffatts.

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'In unfamiliar scenes, Alistair, John and Trevor Moffatt

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'have so far failed in their attempts

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'to break the doughnut record.

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'They have one attempt left.

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'They need ten doughnuts in under 55 seconds.

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'Can they maintain their 100% record-breaking record?

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'Let's find out.'

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We're straight back in.

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Come on, Moffatts.

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'It is a great start, but can they keep it up?'

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It is a strange, almost hypnotic ballet, but is it a record?

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'They need to doughnut quicker than ever before,

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'but the extra speed increases the margin for error,

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'and there can be no mistakes.'

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You can see the concentration etched on their faces.

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'That is eight. It is looking good.'

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Come on!

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KLAXON SOUNDS That is it.

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That's it.

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'Incredible. They have managed ten doughnuts again,

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'but did they crack that 55-second target?'

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I remember once saying Moffatt plus Moffatt plus Moffatt

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equals world record.

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Is that equation going to come good today? Mark, what's the news?

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It's a time of 50...

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4.54. It's a brand-new Guinness World Record.

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CHEERING

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Was there ever any doubt?

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Come here, you.

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'And they have done it

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'by less than half a second.

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'Four series, four world records.

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'Certified Officially Amazing legends!

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'We will see you next time for more adrenaline-fuelled fun like this.'

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# Well, the Moffatts cut it fine with their doughnut time

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# But they managed a speedy ten

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# It looked really cool And as brothers, they rule

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# But I prefer Fernando and Ken

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# Ray's chopstick-ing improved

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# But Cherry was not to be moved

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# He broke the bean-eating record

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# Now can someone open those bunker doors

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# And we learnt that walking on fire is pretty stupid

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# But here comes the rubbish bits

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# The outtakes! #

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BREAKING WIND SOUND EFFECT

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Official adjudicator Santa.

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Shantha.

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Official adjudicator... I don't know...

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THEY LAUGH

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Official adjudicator Shantha.

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THEY LAUGH

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That was the one good one I had left in me!

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The magnificent motoring Moffatt brothers are back with a spectacular car-spinning record attempt. The Officially Competitive rivals battle to become the greatest at eating baked beans with chopsticks. Also, the world's best firewalker tries to improve on his record.


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