Episode 4 Officially Amazing


Episode 4

Ben, Al and Haruka witness record attempts from around the world. The Space Cowboy combines unicycling and chainsaw juggling in a risky world record attempt.


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Transcript


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Officially, Officially, Officially...

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Amazing!

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Ta-da!

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Welcome to Officially Amazing,

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your number one destination for

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rambunctious records from around the world.

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Coming up on today's show...

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What on earth is this truck doing?

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And, more to the point, how?!

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Our unsuspecting competitors face

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a stupendously soggy secret surprise record.

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And most excitingly of all...

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# This is the return

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# Of the space cowboy... #

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..in...

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BOY SCREAMS

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BOY GROANS

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Back in series one, the Space Cowboy broke

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five preposterously perilous world records.

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Although he wasn't always that nice to me.

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CRASHING SOUND EFFECT

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But I am professional enough to welcome him back with

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open, if slightly resentful, arms.

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And Spacey hasn't lost his love for the ludicrously dangerous,

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as today, he will be attempting the record for...

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Of course he is!

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Which involves juggling this...

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while riding this.

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Space Cowboy, it is

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marvellous to have you back here on Officially Amazing.

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Thank you, it is good to be here.

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You are the current holder of this record,

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why are you trying to push it even further?

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You've got a chainsaw in it, for goodness' sake!

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I have an insatiable urge to just keep going

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and pushing myself as far as I can.

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Up on a unicycle and throwing a chainsaw -

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how are you training to deal with something like that?

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The problem is, when you're riding a unicycle,

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every time you juggle the chainsaw, you catch it,

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and it's almost like the weight is throwing you off the unicycle.

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-So it is a challenge.

-Good luck.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

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Here are the rules.

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Spacey must juggle with a running chainsaw and two other objects.

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He has chosen apples.

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He can't hold the chainsaw for longer than

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five seconds at a time.

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If he drops it, the attempt is over,

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and he must beat his own record of eight catches.

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-Mark, are you ready for this?

-I am.

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-OK, I will leave it up to you then, sir.

-Space Cowboy, in your own time.

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'The Space Cowboy has trained for years

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'and uses a specially adapted chainsaw.

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'Even so, I will need to employ my new red button.'

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This record is SO dangerous we have had to come outside

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the performance arena to give him enough throwing room.

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And we've got a paramedic on standby. He's called Dave.

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'Chainsaw's running...

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'I can hardly watch!'

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'And he's off!' Yay!

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'Two catches and still two hands attached - great start.

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'There are so many implausible skills on show here,

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'and yet he is making it look easy.

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'And look how much effort it takes just to throw the chainsaw

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'in the air, let alone catch it, with one hand, while on a unicycle!

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'Oh, no, is he losing balance?

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'He has stopped juggling, attempt over, but has he done it?'

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Space Cowboy, that was INCREDIBLE.

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Do you feel there could have been a record there?

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Eh, I was just concentrating on not catching the sharp, spinning end.

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-So you're not even sure yourself.

-I've got my fingers crossed.

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Yeah, well, luckily not during the record.

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THEY LAUGH

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'What an incredible show of strength, dexterity and guts.

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'But has the Space Cowboy broken his own world record?'

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Was it a new world record? Mark?

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Well, in order to set a new record,

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you needed more than eight catches of the chainsaw on the unicycle.

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Today you achieved...

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ten, which is a brand-new Guinness World Records title!

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-Look at that! Brilliant!

-That's amazing, thank you.

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'Space Cowboy? Ace Cowboy!

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'Ten catches means jugglingly jubilant scenes.

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'And as we all know, it is customary to celebrate

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'dangerous new world records via the medium of song.'

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# Under the sea

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# Under the sea

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# What will there be under the sea?

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# Oh, yeah, beneath the blue, just wild and fre-e-e

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# The record breakers, down in the deep

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# You and me, let's go-o-o, under the sea

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# You won't believe your eyes but Shadow the dog can scuba dive

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# This wonderful watery hound can dive to four metres down

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# And something even better, the deepest place to post a letter

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# Is in Susami Bay, Japan, just remember a stamp

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# Here's a little surprise, there's a fish that has six eyes.

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# If that's not weird enough for you

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# The spookfish's head is see-through too

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# Under the sea, which fish would be the fastest on the swimming course?

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# The sailfish is the speediest, the slowest is the seaho-o-rse!

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# Beneath the blue, just wild and fre-e-e

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# The record breakers, down in the deep

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# You and me, let's go-o-o

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# Oh-oh, under the sea. #

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TYRES SCREECH AND BOY COUGHS

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Look at these trucks, Haruka,

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it's like a fantastic, diesel-fuelled ballet.

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CLASSICAL MUSIC

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What's the record - most demi-plies by an HGV?

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No, Al, we are in China to see trucker trickster Sun Jin Gua

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attempt the record for...

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Whoa! How does that work?

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Well, as these confusing graphics clearly show, Sun must drive

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through a gap only 1.1 metres

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wider than his truck,

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on two wheels and without touching the poles.

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It is not going to be easy.

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Any last-minute advice from the show's host?

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A-woo!

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Stirring words. You can do it, son!

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And he is through! Let's just double-check the replay.

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-Yes!

-A new world record at the first attempt.

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-DUBBED:

-Yeah, trucks rule!

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You can go home happy after this performance, Sun. Terrific trucking!

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Hold it right there, Haruka. News just in - Sun's not finished yet.

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He lives by the trucker's code -

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He is taking the gap down to one metre.

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Unbelievable!

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He has done it! An even newer world record.

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Truck-tastic scenes!

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-Whew, I need a lie down.

-Well, you can't have one. It's time for...

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APPLAUSE

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-BOY:

-Uh-oh.

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AUDIENCE MURMUR AND HE SIGHS

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Sizzling Steve, US Ray and Mr Cherry.

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Three champions united in competition,

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attempting world records that you can try at home.

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This is...

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Last time, Steve's natural-born affinity with dice saw him claim

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a second victory, propelling our

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unlikely hero into an early lead.

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And he's the only competitor to have claimed a world record so far.

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But that could all change with today's secret challenge.

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If nerves were a problem for multi-record-holding superstars,

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then this place would be awash with flatulence right now,

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because today, our competitors are facing the first of

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our secret world record challenges.

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A secret record means our competitors have...

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However, I have been told that a clue lies underneath

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this mysterious and rather snazzy red cloth.

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So, shall we lift it off and see what's underneath?

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THEY AGREE

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OK...

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What's going on?

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'Helmets adorned with spiky balls?'

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'Mm, a record that's both safety-conscious

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'and extremely dangerous - what could it be?'

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I have-a no idea.

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'Even the great man is confused,

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'but the answer lies outside the bunker, and it's...

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'water balloons?!'

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The fastest time to burst ten water balloons with the head,

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blindfolded, and it's a team-of-two record.

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'So, Al, Ben and I have to guide

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'the blindfolded competitors as they

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'burst water balloons with their heads.'

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'Cue emergency team meetings.'

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How do you feel about our strategy today?

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Our strategy is great.

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OK, what do you think separates our strategy from everybody else?

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It's the...

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It's the winning strategy, th-that's what's

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going to separate us.

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Ohh, a WINNING strategy? Clear as mud(!)

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What kind of instructions would you like me to...?

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I'm going to say bark, because I know you're a dog man.

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What would you like me to bark at you

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as you are going down the water balloon line?

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-I think just bark when you want me to jump, basically.

-OK.

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-So I will make dog sounds and you will do dog actions?

-Yes.

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Excellent, good boy.

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Team UK have gone barking mad!

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Time for Team Japan to talk some sense.

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So, Cherry-san...

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-Hi.

-..are you feeling confident? Tell me.

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HE SPEAKS JAPANESE

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-DUBBED:

-'Course I'm confident, I'm wearing a Japan helmet!

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OK!

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Cherry is ready to jump to it. Let's get the rules.

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The water balloons must be suspended one metre apart.

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They must all be fully burst.

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And guidance may only be given by verbal commands.

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Ten balloons burst in 40 seconds and it is a new world record.

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Three illustrious sporting teams,

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ten water balloons hanging between each of us and glory.

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Are you ready?

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-Yes.

-Go!

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Let the balloon-bursting battle begin.

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Go!

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HARUKA SPEAKS JAPANESE

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'Mr Cherry is off to a terrible start!'

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'So is Steve! He's pierced the first balloon but it hasn't burst!

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'It won't count!'

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Ohh, I think move on, Steve, it is too flow-y.

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'Too flow-y? What kind of instruction is that?

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'This is how winners do it, Shires.

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'There is no danger of half-popped balloons from Ray.

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'He is eviscerating them.'

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All right, keep going.

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Not that one he hasn't.

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There you go, good.

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'Look at him jump.

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'He is like a kangaroo on a pogo stick on a trampoline!'

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HARUKA SPEAKS JAPANESE

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HARUKA SCREAMS

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'Oh, and the bone-chilling screams from Team Japan tell us

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'Cherry has finally burst a balloon.'

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HARUKA CONTINUES SCREAMING

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No! No!

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'Team Japan not enjoying their ice-cold showers.'

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'And now Cherry has sprung a leak.'

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'This is a disaster! The leaky balloon

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'is getting too small to hit.'

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-DUBBED:

-Haruka, love, what ARE you doing?

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'No such problems for Ray, look at him go.'

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There we go, all right.

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'That head-waggling technique is total genius.'

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-'Popping poetry in motion!'

-Jump.

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Yes.

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'Meanwhile, Steve's tiny, robotic steps are providing great accuracy.'

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Yes.

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'Beautiful.

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'Come on, Sizzler, you dampened dreamboat.'

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Yay, oh... Yes!

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'Majestic scenes.'

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SERENE CLASSICAL MUSIC

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'Majestic but disastrous.

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'They've all been going for over three minutes.'

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-Ah!

-'And it's gone from disaster to catastrophe for Cherry.

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'He has failed to fully burst another balloon -

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'he will be penalised for that.'

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'My man Ray has got to the final balloon, but there's a problem.'

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'Without the others weighing the line down,

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'balloon ten has gone way above the minimum height.

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'It will need a superhuman leap.'

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'So close! Incredible elevation.'

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'And Sizzler's also stuck!'

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Ohh, it's so high, you may as well be charging at me head-first.

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All right, Steve, you're nowhere near,

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can we call a stop to this charade?

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Well done, Steve.

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THEY SPEAK JAPANESE

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'I'm telling Cherry that he's done very badly indeed.'

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'Ray composes himself for one final leap.

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'Such grace, such incredible hang time.'

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'Oh, he just grazed it! What an effort!'

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ALL: Ohh!

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APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

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'But in the end,

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'that untouchable final balloon is too much even for Ray.'

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-It's an unpleasant balloon.

-Rrr!

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So, every team fails to complete the course,

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taking more than five minutes each NOT to do it.

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Well, thrilling scenes in the secret record that took so long,

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the sun has set.

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Tell me, did anyone burst ten balloons

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in the 40-second time limit,

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therefore getting a new world record?

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-No, they didn't.

-I suspected as much.

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However, I am hopeful that there is still someone who has gained

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a competitive point.

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The person who burst the most balloons without incurring

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any penalties...

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was Ray.

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Woo, yeah!

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'Ecstatic scenes from Team USA,

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'as they win their first points, by default.'

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So, how does that affect the scores?

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Ray is in back in the race - yeah!

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But Lethal Sizzle clings on to that top spot like a stubborn stain.

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But for how much longer?

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It's impossible to predict with revolutionary records like these.

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# Well, way up in the skies we saw something unwise

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# Space Cowboy rode again

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# But it turned out OK, Spacey juggled his way

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# To a record without chainsaw-ing Ben

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# Our competitors seemed to be cursed

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# When those water balloons wouldn't burst

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# But Ray did better than the rest

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# At this ridiculous watery test

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# And Sun was number one at two-wheel trucking!

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# But here come the rubbish bits

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# The outtakes! #

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PFFRT!

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Maybe it could be some kind of antennae.

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-Channelling electricity.

-Yeah, that'd be safe(!)

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-Yeah, should be good.

-Cool.

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-Give me a hug.

-No.

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The Officially Amazing team bring you the return of the Space Cowboy - who combines unicycling and chainsaw juggling in a ridiculously risky world record attempt. We witness a monster truck driving on only two wheels, and Mr Cherry, Sizzling Steve and US Ray face a super-soggy secret surprise record.


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