Episode 4 Officially Amazing

Officially, Officially, Officially...

Amazing!

Ta-da!

Welcome to Officially Amazing,

your number one destination for

rambunctious records from around the world.

Coming up on today's show...

What on earth is this truck doing?

And, more to the point, how?!

Our unsuspecting competitors face

a stupendously soggy secret surprise record.

And most excitingly of all...

# This is the return

# Of the space cowboy... #

..in...

BOY SCREAMS

BOY GROANS

Back in series one, the Space Cowboy broke

five preposterously perilous world records.

Although he wasn't always that nice to me.

CRASHING SOUND EFFECT

But I am professional enough to welcome him back with

open, if slightly resentful, arms.

And Spacey hasn't lost his love for the ludicrously dangerous,

as today, he will be attempting the record for...

Of course he is!

Which involves juggling this...

while riding this.

Space Cowboy, it is

marvellous to have you back here on Officially Amazing.

Thank you, it is good to be here.

You are the current holder of this record,

why are you trying to push it even further?

You've got a chainsaw in it, for goodness' sake!

I have an insatiable urge to just keep going

and pushing myself as far as I can.

Up on a unicycle and throwing a chainsaw -

how are you training to deal with something like that?

The problem is, when you're riding a unicycle,

every time you juggle the chainsaw, you catch it,

and it's almost like the weight is throwing you off the unicycle.

-So it is a challenge.

-Good luck.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

Here are the rules.

Spacey must juggle with a running chainsaw and two other objects.

He has chosen apples.

He can't hold the chainsaw for longer than

five seconds at a time.

If he drops it, the attempt is over,

and he must beat his own record of eight catches.

-Mark, are you ready for this?

-I am.

-OK, I will leave it up to you then, sir.

-Space Cowboy, in your own time.

'The Space Cowboy has trained for years

'and uses a specially adapted chainsaw.

'Even so, I will need to employ my new red button.'

This record is SO dangerous we have had to come outside

the performance arena to give him enough throwing room.

And we've got a paramedic on standby. He's called Dave.

'Chainsaw's running...

'I can hardly watch!'

'And he's off!' Yay!

'Two catches and still two hands attached - great start.

'There are so many implausible skills on show here,

'and yet he is making it look easy.

'And look how much effort it takes just to throw the chainsaw

'in the air, let alone catch it, with one hand, while on a unicycle!

'Oh, no, is he losing balance?

'He has stopped juggling, attempt over, but has he done it?'

Space Cowboy, that was INCREDIBLE.

Do you feel there could have been a record there?

Eh, I was just concentrating on not catching the sharp, spinning end.

-So you're not even sure yourself.

-I've got my fingers crossed.

Yeah, well, luckily not during the record.

THEY LAUGH

'What an incredible show of strength, dexterity and guts.

'But has the Space Cowboy broken his own world record?'

Was it a new world record? Mark?

Well, in order to set a new record,

you needed more than eight catches of the chainsaw on the unicycle.

Today you achieved...

ten, which is a brand-new Guinness World Records title!

-Look at that! Brilliant!

-That's amazing, thank you.

'Space Cowboy? Ace Cowboy!

'Ten catches means jugglingly jubilant scenes.

'And as we all know, it is customary to celebrate

'dangerous new world records via the medium of song.'

# Under the sea

# Under the sea

# What will there be under the sea?

# Oh, yeah, beneath the blue, just wild and fre-e-e

# The record breakers, down in the deep

# You and me, let's go-o-o, under the sea

# You won't believe your eyes but Shadow the dog can scuba dive

# This wonderful watery hound can dive to four metres down

# And something even better, the deepest place to post a letter

# Is in Susami Bay, Japan, just remember a stamp

# Here's a little surprise, there's a fish that has six eyes.

# If that's not weird enough for you

# The spookfish's head is see-through too

# Under the sea, which fish would be the fastest on the swimming course?

# The sailfish is the speediest, the slowest is the seaho-o-rse!

# Beneath the blue, just wild and fre-e-e

# The record breakers, down in the deep

# You and me, let's go-o-o

# Oh-oh, under the sea. #

TYRES SCREECH AND BOY COUGHS

Look at these trucks, Haruka,

it's like a fantastic, diesel-fuelled ballet.

CLASSICAL MUSIC

What's the record - most demi-plies by an HGV?

No, Al, we are in China to see trucker trickster Sun Jin Gua

attempt the record for...

Whoa! How does that work?

Well, as these confusing graphics clearly show, Sun must drive

through a gap only 1.1 metres

wider than his truck,

on two wheels and without touching the poles.

It is not going to be easy.

Any last-minute advice from the show's host?

A-woo!

Stirring words. You can do it, son!

And he is through! Let's just double-check the replay.

-Yes!

-A new world record at the first attempt.

-DUBBED:

-Yeah, trucks rule!

You can go home happy after this performance, Sun. Terrific trucking!

Hold it right there, Haruka. News just in - Sun's not finished yet.

He lives by the trucker's code -

He is taking the gap down to one metre.

Unbelievable!

He has done it! An even newer world record.

Truck-tastic scenes!

-Whew, I need a lie down.

-Well, you can't have one. It's time for...

APPLAUSE

-BOY:

-Uh-oh.

AUDIENCE MURMUR AND HE SIGHS

Sizzling Steve, US Ray and Mr Cherry.

Three champions united in competition,

attempting world records that you can try at home.

This is...

Last time, Steve's natural-born affinity with dice saw him claim

a second victory, propelling our

unlikely hero into an early lead.

And he's the only competitor to have claimed a world record so far.

But that could all change with today's secret challenge.

If nerves were a problem for multi-record-holding superstars,

then this place would be awash with flatulence right now,

because today, our competitors are facing the first of

our secret world record challenges.

A secret record means our competitors have...

However, I have been told that a clue lies underneath

this mysterious and rather snazzy red cloth.

So, shall we lift it off and see what's underneath?

THEY AGREE

OK...

What's going on?

'Helmets adorned with spiky balls?'

'Mm, a record that's both safety-conscious

'and extremely dangerous - what could it be?'

I have-a no idea.

'Even the great man is confused,

'but the answer lies outside the bunker, and it's...

'water balloons?!'

The fastest time to burst ten water balloons with the head,

blindfolded, and it's a team-of-two record.

'So, Al, Ben and I have to guide

'the blindfolded competitors as they

'burst water balloons with their heads.'

'Cue emergency team meetings.'

How do you feel about our strategy today?

Our strategy is great.

OK, what do you think separates our strategy from everybody else?

It's the...

It's the winning strategy, th-that's what's

going to separate us.

Ohh, a WINNING strategy? Clear as mud(!)

What kind of instructions would you like me to...?

I'm going to say bark, because I know you're a dog man.

What would you like me to bark at you

as you are going down the water balloon line?

-I think just bark when you want me to jump, basically.

-OK.

-So I will make dog sounds and you will do dog actions?

-Yes.

Excellent, good boy.

Team UK have gone barking mad!

Time for Team Japan to talk some sense.

So, Cherry-san...

-Hi.

-..are you feeling confident? Tell me.

HE SPEAKS JAPANESE

-DUBBED:

-'Course I'm confident, I'm wearing a Japan helmet!

OK!

Cherry is ready to jump to it. Let's get the rules.

The water balloons must be suspended one metre apart.

They must all be fully burst.

And guidance may only be given by verbal commands.

Ten balloons burst in 40 seconds and it is a new world record.

Three illustrious sporting teams,

ten water balloons hanging between each of us and glory.

Are you ready?

-Yes.

-Go!

Let the balloon-bursting battle begin.

Go!

HARUKA SPEAKS JAPANESE

'Mr Cherry is off to a terrible start!'

'So is Steve! He's pierced the first balloon but it hasn't burst!

'It won't count!'

Ohh, I think move on, Steve, it is too flow-y.

'Too flow-y? What kind of instruction is that?

'This is how winners do it, Shires.

'There is no danger of half-popped balloons from Ray.

'He is eviscerating them.'

All right, keep going.

Not that one he hasn't.

There you go, good.

'Look at him jump.

'He is like a kangaroo on a pogo stick on a trampoline!'

HARUKA SPEAKS JAPANESE

HARUKA SCREAMS

'Oh, and the bone-chilling screams from Team Japan tell us

'Cherry has finally burst a balloon.'

HARUKA CONTINUES SCREAMING

No! No!

'Team Japan not enjoying their ice-cold showers.'

'And now Cherry has sprung a leak.'

'This is a disaster! The leaky balloon

'is getting too small to hit.'

-DUBBED:

-Haruka, love, what ARE you doing?

'No such problems for Ray, look at him go.'

There we go, all right.

'That head-waggling technique is total genius.'

-'Popping poetry in motion!'

-Jump.

Yes.

'Meanwhile, Steve's tiny, robotic steps are providing great accuracy.'

Yes.

'Beautiful.

'Come on, Sizzler, you dampened dreamboat.'

Yay, oh... Yes!

'Majestic scenes.'

SERENE CLASSICAL MUSIC

'Majestic but disastrous.

'They've all been going for over three minutes.'

-Ah!

-'And it's gone from disaster to catastrophe for Cherry.

'He has failed to fully burst another balloon -

'he will be penalised for that.'

'My man Ray has got to the final balloon, but there's a problem.'

'Without the others weighing the line down,

'balloon ten has gone way above the minimum height.

'It will need a superhuman leap.'

'So close! Incredible elevation.'

'And Sizzler's also stuck!'

Ohh, it's so high, you may as well be charging at me head-first.

All right, Steve, you're nowhere near,

can we call a stop to this charade?

Well done, Steve.

THEY SPEAK JAPANESE

'I'm telling Cherry that he's done very badly indeed.'

'Ray composes himself for one final leap.

'Such grace, such incredible hang time.'

'Oh, he just grazed it! What an effort!'

ALL: Ohh!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

'But in the end,

'that untouchable final balloon is too much even for Ray.'

-It's an unpleasant balloon.

-Rrr!

So, every team fails to complete the course,

taking more than five minutes each NOT to do it.

Well, thrilling scenes in the secret record that took so long,

the sun has set.

Tell me, did anyone burst ten balloons

in the 40-second time limit,

therefore getting a new world record?

-No, they didn't.

-I suspected as much.

However, I am hopeful that there is still someone who has gained

a competitive point.

The person who burst the most balloons without incurring

any penalties...

was Ray.

Woo, yeah!

'Ecstatic scenes from Team USA,

'as they win their first points, by default.'

So, how does that affect the scores?

Ray is in back in the race - yeah!

But Lethal Sizzle clings on to that top spot like a stubborn stain.

But for how much longer?

It's impossible to predict with revolutionary records like these.

# Well, way up in the skies we saw something unwise

# Space Cowboy rode again

# But it turned out OK, Spacey juggled his way

# To a record without chainsaw-ing Ben

# Our competitors seemed to be cursed

# When those water balloons wouldn't burst

# But Ray did better than the rest

# At this ridiculous watery test

# And Sun was number one at two-wheel trucking!

# But here come the rubbish bits

# The outtakes! #

PFFRT!

Maybe it could be some kind of antennae.

-Channelling electricity.

-Yeah, that'd be safe(!)

-Yeah, should be good.

-Cool.

-Give me a hug.

-No.