Episode 3 Officially Amazing


Episode 3

Ben, Al and Haruka witness record attempts from around the world. Cherry, Steve and Ray get dice sorting - while blindfolded.


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# Officially, officially, officially amazing. #

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Ha!

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Looks like Ben's too busy screaming to tell you

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what's on today's show,

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so I'll do it.

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Just what are these guys volunteering for?

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And there's a tactile test for our trio of

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world record connoisseurs.

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Dice.

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Now, back to Shires.

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Urgh! Argh!

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HE LAUGHS Brr!

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HE SIGHS SHE GIGGLES

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Meet Dan Rowan and Liam Mellott -

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two of the best professional aquabike stunt riders in Europe.

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They're capable of performing incredible tricks.

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They can flip!

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They can fly!

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And they can...

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Whoa! They can do whatever that was!

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Today, Dan and Liam will be going head-to-head

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as they both attempt to break the world record for the...

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How many barrel rolls are we hoping for in this two-minute segment?

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-I think the record is 12.

-Yeah.

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Got a number of 30 in my head.

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-That's a big leap from 12!

-That's optimistic,

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-but I'll stay positive.

-Yeah.

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I mean, is it a friendly rivalry or once you get on the water

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is it every man for himself?

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-We'll see.

-Oh, I'd say friends!

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Well, hang on, it doesn't work if one says friendly

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and the other says not.

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I was going for a friendly rivalry today.

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-Good luck.

-Thank you very much.

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-Thank you.

-Cheers.

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This is what a barrel roll looks like.

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The bike launches into the air

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and performs a 360 degree rotation

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in a corkscrew motion

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before landing.

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Only complete 360 degree rotations,

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where the aquabike sweeps

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above the rider,

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will count towards the total.

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The record to beat is

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12 barrel rolls in two minutes.

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And remember, these highly trained professionals

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only ride these high-powered specialised bikes

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in safe areas.

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Liam's up first.

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THAT is some wondrous water wizardry!

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Oh, ho, ho! That is good!

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'It looks amazing!

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'But remember, if the aquabike isn't fully above Liam,

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'the roll won't count.'

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So beautiful to watch,

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but pretty tough to do.

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'Liam's aquabike is out of commission,

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'so he's been forced to ride Dan's.

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'That makes this attempt even harder!

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'But it's not stopping him from twisting and flipping

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'like some sort of motorised performing dolphin!'

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Oh, lovely!

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HORN BLARES

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Hey!

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'An incredible effort on an unfamiliar bike from Liam.

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'Can Dan do better?'

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Here he comes.

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'It's 12 barrel rolls to break the record,

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'but Dan stridently told us he's aiming to roll 30 times

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'in two minutes!

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'Clearly, for Dan, records aren't there to be broken -

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'they're there to be savagely pulverised!

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'Take a look at that!

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'Absolutely first-class aquabatics!'

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-He looks like he's tiring, doesn't he?

-Yeah.

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'And who can blame him?

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'This aquabike weighs around 150 kilos.'

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Come on, Dan!

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-Come on, Dan!

-One more!

-One more!

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Time. HORN BLARES

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That's it, that's time!

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'Well, that was both wet and wild.

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'But have either of our aquabats performed 12 or more barrel rolls

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'to set a new world record?'

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OK, it was the big 360 barrel roll battle

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that no-one dared to call,

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but now, we have a result.

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Mark, how did they get on?

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Liam went first. In his attempt, he managed nine flips...

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SIGHS

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..but only three of them would have counted as barrel rolls

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-as stipulated in our rules.

-Sure.

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'That unfamiliar bike may have cost Liam,

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'but how about Dan, who performed so stylishly on his own machine?'

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Dan, in your attempt, again, a number were disqualified

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for not being full barrel rolls.

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In order to get the record you needed 12.

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And you achieved...

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..15. THEY CHEER AND APPLAUD

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That's a brand-new Guinness World Records title!

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Excellent! Really, really strong.

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Well done.

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'It may not have been the 30 rolls Dan was aiming for,

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'but he still crushed the record.

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'Incredible!'

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Congratulations.

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THEY CHEER

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Now, over to Al and Haruka for something...

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Oh!

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HE SCREAMS

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SHE SIGHS

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Welcome to Spain for an unusual world record.

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It's Annetta v Irena.

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Or, Annette vs Irene.

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First, they need some willing volunteers from the audience.

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Oh, they all look smart.

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Maybe it's a kissing record!

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I guess it could be.

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-Irene's up first.

-Wait, what?

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What's she doing?

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Whoa!

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HE SCREAMS

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What did he do to deserve that?

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Is this what's classed as kissing in Europe?

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HE SCREAMS

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Uh, according to the script, it's the...

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Too late to back out now, boys! HE SCREAMS

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And even if they tried, I don't think she'd let them!

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So, the rules -

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each person must weigh at least 60kg.

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Each person must be held aloft with arms fully extended

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for two seconds before they are thrown away.

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To their doom!

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And the target for this new record

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is ten slams.

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Come on, Irene!

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Ooh, I love that song!

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MUSIC: Come on Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners

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Wow, this is tenuous, even for us!

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HE SCREAMS

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So, that's an astonishing ten men

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flung to the floor!

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Now, can Annetta do better and slam more man?

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Three, two, one,

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go.

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First man is up...

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and dispatched with style.

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HE SCREAMS

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She's like a quality control officer

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and everything's getting rejected!

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She's a man-moving machine.

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HE SCREAMS

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-Another one eats floor!

-HE SCREAMS

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These guys won't volunteer for anything ever again!

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And that's 12 men hurled into oblivion

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for an even newer world record,

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and here's our host making sure that Irene knows

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she has come second.

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Yep, second, SECOND

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out of two.

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I think she's got it now.

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Congratulations, Annette!

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Your prize is to lift a woman over your head.

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Europe is weird.

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And now...

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DRUMROLL

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-Hmm.

-DRUMROLL

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-A-ha!

-Eh?

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Urgh.

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DRUMROLL

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-Aah!

-Aah!

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Three of the world's greatest athletes ever, possibly,

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have gathered once more to break records you can try at home.

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From the fragrant Far East, it's Mr Cherry!

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From the Wild West, by which I mean modern-day America,

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it's US Ray!

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And from Britain, somewhere, it's Sizzlin' Steve.

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Now for another epic record-breaking battle in...

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Last time out, the Sizzy Rascal tooted his way

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to a first world record of the series.

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He's now level with two-time champ Cherry after two events.

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Can US Ray get off the mark today and make it a three-way tie?

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Today's record requires speed,

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nifty fingers and one of our favourite bits

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of record-breaking equipment.

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Cherry-san?

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Have a dice day!

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Yes, it's the thrilling test of dice based numeracy

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that the world has been waiting for,

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as our heroes attempt the record for...

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Before battle commences, it's time for a chat.

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So, Steve, the Dice Man, at some stage,

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you've held ten world records associated with dice.

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I mean, they're something of a specialist subject, right?

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-That's correct.

-There's a blindfold element as well.

-Yeah.

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So, how does that impact on you attempting the record?

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Well, of course, it makes it harder cos I can't see the dice.

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-Right.

-But I know how a dice works.

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And how does it work?

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You pick it up and roll it.

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So, the Sizzle is at one with the dizzle.

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US Ray, less so.

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Last year, you kind of let America down on your dice challenge.

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See, what had happened...

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I mean, it was terrible.

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Yes, even though the target was 11 dice

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stacked on the back of his hand,

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Ray stacked three then stopped.

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Ha!

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-I mean, but see...

-It was awful.

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Are you ready to exorcize your dice demons today?

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I'm ready.

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-Let's do this!

-BOOM

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Sorry, Ray, the dice are not your friends.

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They prefer Mr Cherry!

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Is it all about touch

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or will any other senses play a part?

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-TRANSLATION:

-Yes, I'll try to feel

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the texture of the dice with my fingers.

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Remember when you guessed fruit while you were wearing a blindfold?

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You were right good at that and

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it's much the same principle here.

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Dice is easy!

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Dice.

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Wise words.

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Here are the rules.

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Our mighty challengers must be blindfolded.

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The dice must be shaken before the attempt begins

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and the target for this new record is to have all six dice

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in numerical order in 20 seconds.

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Six blind dice, see how they run.

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Or, in this case, see how they get numerically ordered.

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Cherry-san, do you have anything to say before we start?

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Dice!

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'Short and sweet from

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'the great man this time.

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'He's fully focused.'

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-Go!

-HORN BLARES

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'Mr Cherry's fingertips are highly developed and finely tuned.'

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'Yes, it's mesmerising to see them glide delicately over the die

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'to expertly explore these tiny cubes of fate.'

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'He started with number one and he's working his way up to six.

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'Fascinating tactics.'

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'He's nearly there! Come on, Mr Cherry!

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'Find that five!

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'Find that five! Find that...'

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LOUD BANG

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'Three?!'

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'Shock waves reverberate through the bunker.'

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Ooh. Oh, oh, oh.

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'How will the great man cope?'

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Japanese OK.

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'Cherry might think it's OK in Japan,

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'but those dice are not in proper numerical order

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'and his attempt will not count.

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'Can Steve, AKA Dr Dice, take advantage and win again?

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Let's get ready to fumble!

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-Go!

-HORN BLARES

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LOUD BANG

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'Oh, pure precision from the Sizzler.

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'He won't be making the same schoolboy error as Mr Cherry.'

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'Look at him, completely at one with his

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'favourite record-breaking apparatus - the dice.'

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'Yes, the Sizzler's dice dexterity strikes fear

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'into dice record competitors across the globe.

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'It's a privilege to see the man work those tiny cubes.'

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LOUD BANG

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'His dice dabbling digits have done it again.'

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'Six dice ordered correctly.

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'Bang.'

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-Ooh.

-Get in there, you Sizzly wonder!

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Excellent stuff!

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So, Ray must get those dice in order and do it faster than Steve.

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Remember, 20 seconds is the target for a world record.

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-Go!

-HORN BLARES

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'Can Ray finally exorcize his dicey demons?'

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'Of course he can! Ray's a competitor.'

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LOUD BANG

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'Yeah, if only he could find the number three on that one, eh?'

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'Perhaps there's no number three on it.

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'This might take a while.'

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'Look, maybe Ray's taking too long, way too long,

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'but accuracy is the crucial thing here.'

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'And that's it! Excellent work, Ray.

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'All six dice in a...

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'Oh, no.'

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'Total disaster!

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'A five instead of a three!'

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'So, he's also disqualified and the Sizzler wins again!

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'The only question now is whether he broke that

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'magical 20-second target

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'to set the world record!'

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Steve, you managed a time...

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..of 31.24 seconds, so unfortunately, not this time.

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HE SIGHS

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Steve, you might not have made the record books,

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but you're still a hero in my book and you got the competitive point.

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-Come on!

-Just what I need.

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'And that actually puts Siz Biz in the lead!

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'Can he win this thing?

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'Watch next time for more record attempting audacity like this!'

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# Well, what's not to like about an aquabike

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# Defying gravity on a lake?

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# We saw incredible spinning and we saw Dan winning

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# As he left Liam in his wake

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# Our competitors one two three had to order dice they couldn't see

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# Steve triumphed with his fingertips

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# Cos Cherry and Ray couldn't count to six

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# And Annetta chucks more men than Irena

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# But here come the rubbish bits

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# The outtakes. #

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Well, I mean, this is certainly an...

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I'm going to do that once more.

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Today's record...

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What was that?

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So, I hope one of you grab...

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Oh, come on now!

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HE GRUNTS

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Cherry, Steve and Ray get dice sorting - while blindfolded. There's a brawny body-slamming record attempt from Spain. And aqua-bike stunt riders Dan Rowan and Liam Mellot take to the lake for some breathtaking barrel rolling.


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