Episode 3 Officially Amazing

# Officially, officially, officially amazing. #

Ha!

Looks like Ben's too busy screaming to tell you

what's on today's show,

so I'll do it.

Just what are these guys volunteering for?

And there's a tactile test for our trio of

world record connoisseurs.

Dice.

Now, back to Shires.

Urgh! Argh!

HE LAUGHS Brr!

HE SIGHS SHE GIGGLES

Meet Dan Rowan and Liam Mellott -

two of the best professional aquabike stunt riders in Europe.

They're capable of performing incredible tricks.

They can flip!

They can fly!

And they can...

Whoa! They can do whatever that was!

Today, Dan and Liam will be going head-to-head

as they both attempt to break the world record for the...

How many barrel rolls are we hoping for in this two-minute segment?

-I think the record is 12.

-Yeah.

Got a number of 30 in my head.

-That's a big leap from 12!

-That's optimistic,

-but I'll stay positive.

-Yeah.

I mean, is it a friendly rivalry or once you get on the water

is it every man for himself?

-We'll see.

-Oh, I'd say friends!

Well, hang on, it doesn't work if one says friendly

and the other says not.

I was going for a friendly rivalry today.

-Good luck.

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you.

-Cheers.

This is what a barrel roll looks like.

The bike launches into the air

and performs a 360 degree rotation

in a corkscrew motion

before landing.

Only complete 360 degree rotations,

where the aquabike sweeps

above the rider,

will count towards the total.

The record to beat is

12 barrel rolls in two minutes.

And remember, these highly trained professionals

only ride these high-powered specialised bikes

in safe areas.

Liam's up first.

THAT is some wondrous water wizardry!

Oh, ho, ho! That is good!

'It looks amazing!

'But remember, if the aquabike isn't fully above Liam,

'the roll won't count.'

So beautiful to watch,

but pretty tough to do.

'Liam's aquabike is out of commission,

'so he's been forced to ride Dan's.

'That makes this attempt even harder!

'But it's not stopping him from twisting and flipping

'like some sort of motorised performing dolphin!'

Oh, lovely!

HORN BLARES

Hey!

'An incredible effort on an unfamiliar bike from Liam.

'Can Dan do better?'

Here he comes.

'It's 12 barrel rolls to break the record,

'but Dan stridently told us he's aiming to roll 30 times

'in two minutes!

'Clearly, for Dan, records aren't there to be broken -

'they're there to be savagely pulverised!

'Take a look at that!

'Absolutely first-class aquabatics!'

-He looks like he's tiring, doesn't he?

-Yeah.

'And who can blame him?

'This aquabike weighs around 150 kilos.'

Come on, Dan!

-Come on, Dan!

-One more!

-One more!

Time. HORN BLARES

That's it, that's time!

'Well, that was both wet and wild.

'But have either of our aquabats performed 12 or more barrel rolls

'to set a new world record?'

OK, it was the big 360 barrel roll battle

that no-one dared to call,

but now, we have a result.

Mark, how did they get on?

Liam went first. In his attempt, he managed nine flips...

SIGHS

..but only three of them would have counted as barrel rolls

-as stipulated in our rules.

-Sure.

'That unfamiliar bike may have cost Liam,

'but how about Dan, who performed so stylishly on his own machine?'

Dan, in your attempt, again, a number were disqualified

for not being full barrel rolls.

In order to get the record you needed 12.

And you achieved...

..15. THEY CHEER AND APPLAUD

That's a brand-new Guinness World Records title!

Excellent! Really, really strong.

Well done.

'It may not have been the 30 rolls Dan was aiming for,

'but he still crushed the record.

'Incredible!'

Congratulations.

THEY CHEER

Now, over to Al and Haruka for something...

Oh!

HE SCREAMS

SHE SIGHS

Welcome to Spain for an unusual world record.

It's Annetta v Irena.

Or, Annette vs Irene.

First, they need some willing volunteers from the audience.

Oh, they all look smart.

Maybe it's a kissing record!

I guess it could be.

-Irene's up first.

-Wait, what?

What's she doing?

Whoa!

HE SCREAMS

What did he do to deserve that?

Is this what's classed as kissing in Europe?

HE SCREAMS

Uh, according to the script, it's the...

Too late to back out now, boys! HE SCREAMS

And even if they tried, I don't think she'd let them!

So, the rules -

each person must weigh at least 60kg.

Each person must be held aloft with arms fully extended

for two seconds before they are thrown away.

To their doom!

And the target for this new record

is ten slams.

Come on, Irene!

Ooh, I love that song!

MUSIC: Come on Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners

Wow, this is tenuous, even for us!

HE SCREAMS

So, that's an astonishing ten men

flung to the floor!

Now, can Annetta do better and slam more man?

Three, two, one,

go.

First man is up...

and dispatched with style.

HE SCREAMS

She's like a quality control officer

and everything's getting rejected!

She's a man-moving machine.

HE SCREAMS

-Another one eats floor!

-HE SCREAMS

These guys won't volunteer for anything ever again!

And that's 12 men hurled into oblivion

for an even newer world record,

and here's our host making sure that Irene knows

she has come second.

Yep, second, SECOND

out of two.

I think she's got it now.

Congratulations, Annette!

Your prize is to lift a woman over your head.

Europe is weird.

And now...

DRUMROLL

-Hmm.

-DRUMROLL

-A-ha!

-Eh?

Urgh.

DRUMROLL

-Aah!

-Aah!

Three of the world's greatest athletes ever, possibly,

have gathered once more to break records you can try at home.

From the fragrant Far East, it's Mr Cherry!

From the Wild West, by which I mean modern-day America,

it's US Ray!

And from Britain, somewhere, it's Sizzlin' Steve.

Now for another epic record-breaking battle in...

Last time out, the Sizzy Rascal tooted his way

to a first world record of the series.

He's now level with two-time champ Cherry after two events.

Can US Ray get off the mark today and make it a three-way tie?

Today's record requires speed,

nifty fingers and one of our favourite bits

of record-breaking equipment.

Cherry-san?

Have a dice day!

Yes, it's the thrilling test of dice based numeracy

that the world has been waiting for,

as our heroes attempt the record for...

Before battle commences, it's time for a chat.

So, Steve, the Dice Man, at some stage,

you've held ten world records associated with dice.

I mean, they're something of a specialist subject, right?

-That's correct.

-There's a blindfold element as well.

-Yeah.

So, how does that impact on you attempting the record?

Well, of course, it makes it harder cos I can't see the dice.

-Right.

-But I know how a dice works.

And how does it work?

You pick it up and roll it.

So, the Sizzle is at one with the dizzle.

US Ray, less so.

Last year, you kind of let America down on your dice challenge.

See, what had happened...

I mean, it was terrible.

Yes, even though the target was 11 dice

stacked on the back of his hand,

Ray stacked three then stopped.

Ha!

-I mean, but see...

-It was awful.

Are you ready to exorcize your dice demons today?

I'm ready.

-Let's do this!

-BOOM

Sorry, Ray, the dice are not your friends.

They prefer Mr Cherry!

Is it all about touch

or will any other senses play a part?

-TRANSLATION:

-Yes, I'll try to feel

the texture of the dice with my fingers.

Remember when you guessed fruit while you were wearing a blindfold?

You were right good at that and

it's much the same principle here.

Dice is easy!

Dice.

Wise words.

Here are the rules.

Our mighty challengers must be blindfolded.

The dice must be shaken before the attempt begins

and the target for this new record is to have all six dice

in numerical order in 20 seconds.

Six blind dice, see how they run.

Or, in this case, see how they get numerically ordered.

Cherry-san, do you have anything to say before we start?

Dice!

'Short and sweet from

'the great man this time.

'He's fully focused.'

-Go!

-HORN BLARES

'Mr Cherry's fingertips are highly developed and finely tuned.'

'Yes, it's mesmerising to see them glide delicately over the die

'to expertly explore these tiny cubes of fate.'

'He started with number one and he's working his way up to six.

'Fascinating tactics.'

'He's nearly there! Come on, Mr Cherry!

'Find that five!

'Find that five! Find that...'

LOUD BANG

'Three?!'

'Shock waves reverberate through the bunker.'

Ooh. Oh, oh, oh.

'How will the great man cope?'

Japanese OK.

'Cherry might think it's OK in Japan,

'but those dice are not in proper numerical order

'and his attempt will not count.

'Can Steve, AKA Dr Dice, take advantage and win again?

Let's get ready to fumble!

-Go!

-HORN BLARES

LOUD BANG

'Oh, pure precision from the Sizzler.

'He won't be making the same schoolboy error as Mr Cherry.'

'Look at him, completely at one with his

'favourite record-breaking apparatus - the dice.'

'Yes, the Sizzler's dice dexterity strikes fear

'into dice record competitors across the globe.

'It's a privilege to see the man work those tiny cubes.'

LOUD BANG

'His dice dabbling digits have done it again.'

'Six dice ordered correctly.

'Bang.'

-Ooh.

-Get in there, you Sizzly wonder!

Excellent stuff!

So, Ray must get those dice in order and do it faster than Steve.

Remember, 20 seconds is the target for a world record.

-Go!

-HORN BLARES

'Can Ray finally exorcize his dicey demons?'

'Of course he can! Ray's a competitor.'

LOUD BANG

'Yeah, if only he could find the number three on that one, eh?'

'Perhaps there's no number three on it.

'This might take a while.'

'Look, maybe Ray's taking too long, way too long,

'but accuracy is the crucial thing here.'

'And that's it! Excellent work, Ray.

'All six dice in a...

'Oh, no.'

'Total disaster!

'A five instead of a three!'

'So, he's also disqualified and the Sizzler wins again!

'The only question now is whether he broke that

'magical 20-second target

'to set the world record!'

Steve, you managed a time...

..of 31.24 seconds, so unfortunately, not this time.

HE SIGHS

Steve, you might not have made the record books,

but you're still a hero in my book and you got the competitive point.

-Come on!

-Just what I need.

'And that actually puts Siz Biz in the lead!

'Can he win this thing?

'Watch next time for more record attempting audacity like this!'

# Well, what's not to like about an aquabike

# Defying gravity on a lake?

# We saw incredible spinning and we saw Dan winning

# As he left Liam in his wake

# Our competitors one two three had to order dice they couldn't see

# Steve triumphed with his fingertips

# Cos Cherry and Ray couldn't count to six

# And Annetta chucks more men than Irena

# But here come the rubbish bits

# The outtakes. #

Well, I mean, this is certainly an...

I'm going to do that once more.

Today's record...

What was that?

So, I hope one of you grab...

Oh, come on now!

HE GRUNTS