Episode 2 Officially Amazing

Hello and welcome to Officially Amazing, your number one

destination for bone-breakingly fantastic world records.

And, today's include...

What will this man do with this helicopter?

Argh!

Well, he's certainly enjoying himself.

And our Officially Competitive competitors will be

blowing their own trumpets.

Loudly.

Let's party!

But first...

DOG BARKS

Whoa!

Here, on Officially Amazing, we love to bring you the most

talented record-breaking canines the world has to offer.

In the past, we've had rolling dogs, cycling dogs, scootering dogs,

skipping dogs and surfing dogs.

And, now, I give you, a musical mutt!

And a one and a two and a one, two, three, four!

PIANO MUSIC PLAYS

Look at that! And he's not even here to break a musical record.

This is Happy Harry, the Albert can-Einstein of the dog world.

As well as playing the piano, he can catch with his paws,

stack cups and babysit.

Harry can also play tri-ball,

a kind of doggy football invented in Germany.

He'll be using those skills in his record attempt today,

for the fastest time to put eight balls in a goal by a dog.

Prepare yourself for some deplorable poochie punning.

Happy Harry, it's a pleasure to meet you.

This record attempt is, basically, doggy football.

Are there are footballers you idolise?

Well, yes, there's Harry Kane-ine, of course.

David Barkham, Didier Dogba and Chihuahua Toure.

Oh, that last one was terrible, even for us. Back to the record.

During the attempt, Harry will be assisted by his human sidekick,

Christina.

Chris, it's great to meet you, welcome to Officially Amazing.

-Thank you.

-How long has he been practising tri-ball?

About two years.

You know, Harry's not the biggest of dogs,

-does he has problems manoeuvring them?

-He prefers the big ones,

because he can push his nose almost from underneath and push it along.

It's a bit of a windy day today, is that going to cause a problem?

Yeah!

It's going to be tough, Harry. Here are the rules.

Happy Harry must get all eight balls from the triangle into the goal,

Christina can't physically help Harry

until the ball enters the goalmouth area,

balls must be pushed into the goal one at a time,

the ball must stay in play until the goal is scored,

Harry must not poo on the pitch, in other words, no fouling.

And he needs to score eight goals in 90 seconds for a new record.

-Chris, Harry, are you ready?

-Yeah.

-Good luck.

Three, two, one, go!

-KLAXON BLARES

-Away!

'Harry approaches the balls and he's got one!

'That's some fine dribbling.

'Oh! And it's a goal!

CROWD CHEERS

'Surely, he'll be partnering Spaniel Sturridge up front for England soon?

'But Harry's having wind problems.

'Not because he had beans for breakfast, he had sausages, but

'because some unseasonal gales are making it difficult to keep

'the ball on the field of play.

'Which he must do for any attempt to be valid.'

-Oh!

-Oh!

It's not great at the moment,

we're really struggling with the conditions.

'Plus, this battle with the elements means that Harry is,

'understandably, beginning to tire.'

It's time for one last go at this. Come on, Happy Harry, come on!

'It's now or never. Come on, Harry,

'let's see you claim a record for the proud canine community.

Yes, good boy! And another one, come on.

HE BARKS

'Skills like these remind me of the legendary Liverpoodle striker,

'Robbie Growler.'

-Yes!

-Away!

'And that's all eight balls in the goal.'

HE CHEERS

'But has he cracked that 90 second target to break the record?'

-That was marvellous.

-Thank you.

We had the wind to deal with, he was obviously tired there,

but that was phenomenal.

Mark, are we right to be pleased with that attempt?

Time-wise, you had one minute 30 to beat and that was...

Two minutes and four seconds.

CROWD GROANS

Chris, it might not be a record, but it was a brilliant attempt

and I think Harry deserves a few treats and you deserve a sit down.

-It was Officially Amazing.

-Thank you very much.

Oh, no record for Harry, so he's packed up his doggy bag

and he's off home.

Now, over to Al and Veruca.

HE STRAINS

Oh! Argh!

You join us in Italy for muscly world record

attempt by Austrian strong man Franz Mullner.

Wow, our presenter certainly enjoys a vigorous handshake.

Let's see how he gets on with Franz.

You are so powerful.

Indeed he is.

Franz is hoping to break his own record for the heaviest

weight supported on the shoulders, which stands at an awesome 560kg.

Oh, is that helicopter here to fly him to the hospital,

when this, inevitably, goes wrong?

No, Al, that's the weight that will be on his shoulders.

What, how's that going to work?

Well, as these bewildering graphics clearly show,

-Franz will support it with the aid of a special frame.

-Ah, yes.

And the final weight is calculated as an average taken

over 30 seconds of bone-bending pressure. Makes perfect sense now.

And, remember, if you do own a helicopter, do not,

under any circumstances, try to land it on your friend's shoulders

or their head or anywhere on their body.

Franz takes the strain and lifts the frame.

But how will we know when the helicopter's on his shoulders?

Argh!

I think it's on now.

Look at the physical exertion, it's almost superhuman!

Argh!

Can he stand it?

This man is a copter-carrying colossus.

Argh!

Incredible!

Argh!

If he pulls this off it'll be nothing short of a miracle.

He's in agony.

-Argh!

-Time's up! Was the pain worth it?

Did he support an average of over 560kg over those 30 seconds?

Unfortunately, he did not reach 560kg throughout the 30 seconds,

-so no new world record today.

-Tough luck, Franz,

but you've certainly earned everyone's admiration and respect.

You are so powerful.

And speaking of powerful men...

BELL DINGS

Whoo!

Ah! Whoo! Ha!

HE CRIES

Once again, three nations have each sent a record busting brute to a top

secret location, wherein they try to break records you can try at home.

From the land of the rising sun, it's Mr Cherry.

From the land of the free, it's US Ray.

And from the land of constant drizzle, it's Sizzling Steve.

This is...

Go!

After one event this series, two-time champ Mr Cherry has

taken an early lead thanks to his prestigious bum speed.

Up! Up! Ah!

But there was no world record, can they break one today?

Let's see what they'll be attempting.

THEY TOOT HORNS

Today we're going to find out if one of our three heroes can blow away

the competition and break the record for the most toots on a party

blower in 30 seconds.

THEY TOOT

'It's team talk time. How confident is the Sizzler?'

This is a very British thing, isn't it, the party blower?

Do you think that's going to give you the edge?

Cherry and Ray probably have never seen these before.

And is there any, kind of, distraction tactics

that you can use while they're doing this to put them off?

I don't think so, but things come up.

-What things come up?

-I don't know.

You never know, like, a meteor shower or heavy rain.

Right, so, you're hoping for a natural disaster to

-disrupt their record attempt?

-Fingers crossed, yeah.

-Right, OK.

With Steve pinning victory on a shower of meteors falling

inside a sealed bunker, let's see how Cherry rates his chances.

How would you describe your technique?

Now, my technique is to blow through the mouth as hard as I can,

never through the nose.

Fine words from Mr Cherry, but Ray has totally got this one covered.

Give me a blow.

HE TOOTS

Blow up! Blow down!

Let me get a double toot.

Let me get a double toot!

Oh, Ray, that's world-class, man.

Yeah!

Wise word from Ray.

HE TOOTS

Time now for the rules.

Only full toots will count for this record.

That is when the party blower tongue is fully inflated

and then fully deflated.

Party blowers must measure at least 22cm when extended

and the target for this new world record is ten toots in 30 seconds.

Ten in 30? Now there's a record that's asking to be shattered.

The party's in full swing in the bunker.

Even official adjudicator Shantha can't help but join in.

Hm.

Anyway, Ray's up first.

KLAXON BLARES

Go!

HE TOOTS

'Go, Ray. My couch coaching is definitely paying off.'

'And Ray is super fit.

'His inflated lungs may well be larger than Steve's entire torso.'

'Look at that technique!

'Way to blow, little man.'

'I'm sure I've counted more than ten toots, Ray's making this look easy.'

Stop!

All right! Yeah! You've got this, man.

RAY SIGHS

-BOTH:

-US RAY!

'Ray got the party started, but now Mr Cherry will show them

'how it's really done.

'Toot-suite!

-Let's party!

-Go!

HE TOOTS

'Here's an unexpected tactic,

'Mr Cherry is tooting his party blower triumphantly upwards.'

SHE SPEAKS IN OWN LANGUAGE

'That's the genius of the man, he can use the laws of gravity

'to his advantage and openly defy them at the same time.'

'But, look closely, some of those toots are half toots at best!

'This could spell abso-toot disaster.'

KLAXON BLARES

Stop!

Whoo!

'Now it's Steve's turn. Tooty-fruity, my sizzling beauty.

'And, please, stop that weird dance.

-Go!

-KLAXON BLARES

Yes, come on, keep up that pace.

You know what they say, "blow hard or blow home!"

-'What?'

-Come on, Steve!

'Who are THEY and why do they say that?'

'He's holding the entire room absolutely spellbound.'

Come on! Yes, yes, yes!

In, out, in, out, don't shake it about!

'That is simply astonishing toot speed.

'That target of ten toots is surely completely blown away.'

'But is he always achieving 100% roll back?

'Accuracy is as vital as speed.'

-KLAXON BLARES

-Stop!

Yes! Yes, Sizzler!

Deflated as usual, but good for me, Steve.

Shantha must now study the slow-mo footage to root out any toots

that fail to reach full tootage.

That was awesome, official adjudicator Santha, how did we do?

I can confirm that all challengers broke the minimum requirements.

THEY CHEER

'Wow, shock waves rip through the bunker.

'Everyone produced more than ten legal toots.'

Aw, look at that! This is the party that keeps on giving.

Shantha, tell us, who has blown their way into the record books

and claimed the all-important Competitive point?

In third place...

was Ray, with 52.

HE SIGHS

'Ray's in third! Has Mr Cherry done it again?'

And in first place with 97 toots...

-..was Steve!

-Yes!

THEY CHEER

Oh, not too close, Steve!

Yeah, come on!

Congratulations, Steve, that's a new Guinness World Record title.

'Unbelievable!

'The Sizzler picks up the first world record of the competition.

'That's already more than he got in the whole of the last series.'

'He beat Cherry by just 11 toots.'

'Dance freely, Steve.

'You are tied at the top of the leader board with

'Mr Cherry, Ray has yet to score.'

-'It's still early days.

-Whatever!

'There will be more record breaking amazingness next time, like this...'

# Well, what do you know

# Steve really did blow the competition away

# Cherry's technique was quite unique

# And they both tooted more than Ray

# Happy Harry wasn't quick enough

# But then the weather was quite rough

# And did you know that Ben had a go?

-# Was he any better?

-No

# And Franz came a cropper with a chopper... #

Argh!

# And here comes the rubbish bit

# The outtakes. #

And are there any managers you'd never work for?

HARRY PANTS

That was awesome. Official adjudicator...

THEY LAUGH

I knew it!

Just to confirm, you don't need me at all?

BEN SIGHS

-Do you have any record breaking talents?

-Hm, no.