Episode 12 Officially Amazing


Episode 12

Ben, Al and Haruka witness record attempts from around the world. The team are joined by a pair of football freestylers hoping to score themselves a record.


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# Officially, officially, Officially Amazing! #

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When I heard that two football freestylers wanted to break

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a footie record on the show, I was delighted.

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Finally, a chance to prove that I'm not a complete

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and utter nincompoop at things.

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Beat that.

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Showing off, isn't he?

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Do I NOT like that?

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Guys, can I have my ball back now, please?

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We need to be getting on with things.

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'Ugh. Coming up...'

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It's squelchy surprise record time in the OC bunker.

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And these two guys attempt the most perilous way

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to walk down the stairs.

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But first, it's time for the big match.

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Meet football freestylers

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Ash Randall and Sean Barnes,

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who...OK, might be a little bit better than me.

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They've worked with the likes of Wayne Rooney and Fernando Torres.

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-How do, mate?

-Hola.

-And they're so good,

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they can even football freestyle without a football.

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RASPBERRY SOUND EFFECT

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Anyway, today Ash and Sean will be attempting the record for...

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A volley is the technique of kicking a ball while it's in the air.

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And the crossbar is this bit of the goal.

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So, you're going to be flicking it up. Tell us how it works.

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All the footballs on the floor.

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I'm going to be flicking them up, passing them over to Sean,

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and hopefully he's going to whack it with his foot and hit that crossbar.

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Is it the flicks that really determine it, or is it your kicks?

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I'd says it's 50-50, completely.

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If Ash has flicked perfect, then maybe I'll hit perfect volleys.

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-There's a bit of pressure on both of us...

-Yeah.

-..to get it right.

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There can be no volleying without some rules.

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A full size goal must be used,

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with a crossbar no more than 7.32m long,

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or 12cm wide.

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Ash must pass the ball to Sean using only his feet.

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Sean must hit the ball whilst it's in the air

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and from behind the penalty spot, which is 11m from the goal.

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And the target for this brand-new record

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is six crossbar hits in one minute.

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That might not seem like much, but trust me,

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this is ridiculously difficult.

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Three...two...one...

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Go!

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'Too low.

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'And that one's too high.

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'It's so hard to accurately hit a volley,

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'as the ball's a moving target.

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'O-o-o-oh, so close!'

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'Ash has to flick the balls up perfectly

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'or Sean doesn't have a chance.'

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Yes!

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'And the ball thunders off the crossbar!

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'One down. Get in!'

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30 seconds.

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Yes! 'And another!'

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Oh! Yes!

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'What a hit!'

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-O-o-oh!

-Five...four...three...

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-two...one... Time.

-O-o-o-o-oh!

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'It doesn't look good. But let's get the official word from Mark.'

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Well, for the record, you needed six crossbar hits.

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In that attempt, it was just three.

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'Three hits is good, but the boys need to double their tally.'

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Go!

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'Ash and Sean aren't giving up.

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'But, despite the occasional stonking crossbar rattler...'

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Yes! '..they fall short again.'

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Three hits on target that time.

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'And again.'

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Four hits, that time.

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'Oh, and again.'

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Just two.

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'With a high score of only four and the boys exhausted,

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'can they get those extra hits on their final attempt?

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'Find out after something extraordinary.'

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Aaargh!

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Ugh...

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Welcome to China,

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where daredevils Mo Chang and Yang Gang

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are about to attempt the record for...

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..as this ridiculously uninformative graphic sort of demonstrates.

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And here are our courageous climbers,

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with duct tape holding their baggy old leotards together.

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Like Superman meets Lady Gaga. I like it.

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There's an odd hush as they prepare to begin.

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What are they aiming for, Haruka?

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The bottom, Al. And to get there in 12 seconds or under.

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Oh, my word. Yang Gang is doing a handstand on Mo Chang's neck!

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It's seriously dangerous.

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This is incredible.

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How do you do that with a whole person balancing on you?

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And how do you balance one-handed on a moving neck?

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Phenomenal!

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And they've made it to the bottom.

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But did they do it in under 12 seconds?

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Of course they did!

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A spectacular world record!

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Like the old saying goes, it's not what you wear,

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it's how quickly you can handstand down stairs with

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a person on your neck while wearing it.

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Er, yes. Exactly.

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Now back to Ben, pitch-side.

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Ash and Sean have so far failed in their bid to hit six

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volleyed shots against the crossbar in one minute.

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Is the record even possible?

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They're physically exhausted, they've got one more attempt.

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This one's got to count. Come on!

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Three...two...one... Go!

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'This...is...it!

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'O-o-oh! Too low!

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'And again!

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'That's it! A perfect lob! Off the bar and shooting skyward!

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'Come on, boys!

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'And another bar-bouncing beauty!

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'Game on!

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'An early hat-trick!

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'O-o-o-o-oh! That looked like it skimmed the bar. Will it count?'

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-30 seconds.

-'Halfway through now.

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'O-o-o-oh. Too low, again.

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'They're losing their rhythm here. They need to get back in the zone.'

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Yes! 'That's more like it.' Yes!

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'And another. Two on the bounce. The record could be on here.'

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Yes! 'What a strike! Unbelievable tekkers!'

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Five...four...three...two...one...

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-Time!

-Yes! What was that? That was brilliant!

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Come on!

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'That was undoubtedly their best effort.

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'But were there enough valid crossbar hits

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'to reach their six-shot target?

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'Over to referee Mark.'

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It was a valid attempt, and you achieved...

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seven, so that's a brand-new Guinness World Record.

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Congratulations.

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Ash and Sean did it. Back of the net. Or top of the crossbar.

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Now to the bunker for even more thrilling footwork.

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Hee-hee-hee.

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Every solar year,

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a thunderously thrilling threesome unite in a top secret bunker

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to compete for world record titles that you can try at home.

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They are...

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The beating heart of America - US Ray.

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The prodigious pride of Japan - Mr Cherry.

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And the personification of British lionheartiness -

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Drizzling Sizzling Steve.

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This is...

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Previously, on Officially Competitive...

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Mr Cherry gave a masterclass in chopstick shuttlecocking

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to claim his third world record of the series.

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And joined Ray at the top of the

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Officially Competitive league table.

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But anything could happen in today's secret...

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Our gladiators have to face a world record with...

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..and...

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..what they're doing.

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The record is...

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Before the competitors get balloon-stomping,

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a small morale boost from their mentors.

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How delighted were you that it's not a team effort?

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Quite pleased, because this time I might actually get the record.

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I remember last series, we had a particularly bad attempt

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at a water balloon record. How's this one going to differ?

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As it's just me this time, it should be fine.

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OK, Steve, I feel like you keep coming back to the fact that,

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because we're not doing it together, you're going to be OK at this.

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There's a good chance I will be.

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Last time we faced water balloons, US Ray stole the day.

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-Last series, you were breaking them with your head.

-Right.

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But you're using those sweet athletic feet this time.

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Do you think that gives you more of an advantage, because you're

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-using your feet rather than your head?

-Yeah. I've got fast feet.

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Let me see them right now.

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-See? I didn't even see it.

-Yeah, exactly. Moved so fast,

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-you didn't know what I did.

-US Ray all day.

-Cool.

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Ray might have fast feet, but Cherry-san has ninja feet.

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CHERRY SPEAKS IN JAPANESE

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-TRANSLATED:

-Ninja feet in ninja slippers!

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-TRANSLATED:

-Look at my leg!

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It's a joy to behold such greatness.

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Take over, Al!

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The water balloons must be at least 10cm in diameter,

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and can be arranged in any formation.

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They must be burst with bare feet only.

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The target for this new world record is to

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burst 20 balloons in just 25 seconds.

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And if you try this at home, make sure you use a non-slip surface.

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Ninja-footed Mr Cherry goes first.

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Three...two...one. Go!

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He's scattered the balloons everywhere.

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But Cherry's in high-speed pursuit.

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Ooh! Two balloons in one mighty stamp!

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But what happened there?

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A water balloon escaped the Cherry stomp, intact.

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And look at that! A succession of non-bursters!

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How are they surviving the onslaught of Cherry's ninja feet?

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-HORN BLOWS

-He's a balloon-bursting machine!

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A traditional salute there, indicating it's time for US Ray.

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Ray doesn't want to be running around like Cherry,

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so he's packed his balloons together in a tidy group.

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The man's a genius.

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Three...two...one. Go!

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A genius who's just scattered his balloons everywhere.

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Good job Ray's got pace.

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He's on a mission to obliterate those balloons.

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Ray's stomping is savage. The balloons don't stand a chance.

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And he's done. Great work, Ray.

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Take a well-earned... O-o-oh!

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Where did they come from?

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It's a four-balloon escapee contingent!

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Aaaaaah!

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And with that volcanic burst, Ray really is done.

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A valiant performance. Eventually.

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This record involves athletic speed, words not synonymous with Steve.

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But he is a master tactician. Observe his strategic balloonage.

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You've got to admire that.

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He's laying them out for maximum destruction,

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-minimum movement.

-His life's mantra. Classic Sizzler.

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Three...two...one. Go!

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Two remain un-popped.

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They've stayed in place though, Haruka, and that is crucial.

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-This is impressive stomping.

-Indeed.

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Behold the rhythmic majesty of Steve's balloon obliteration!

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Come on, Steve! Over here! Yes! Yes, Steve! Come on, Steve!

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Two more! Two more! Yes, one more, one more!

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-HORN BLOWS Yeah!

-A pop-tastic performance.

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But did anyone burst all their balloons in under 25 seconds?

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Do we have a world record, Shantha?

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-Yes.

-THE OTHERS:

-O-o-o-o-o-oh!

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In third place,

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with a time of 20.539 seconds...

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'Even the loser broke the world record target!'

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..is Ray.

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And in first place,

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with a time of 12.856 seconds...

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'Almost half the record target!'

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..Steve!

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HEROIC MUSIC

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Incredible! The tortoise has beaten both hares with his

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tactical genius, and got a second world record of the series.

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Yeah, bursting with excitement.

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HEROIC MUSIC DIES

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That victory puts the leaderboard level,

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with only three challenges to go!

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What'll happen next time when we combine bravery

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and dice in one explosive mix?

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And return with more

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rollicking records like these.

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# Well, Ash and Sean were looking forlorn

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# They just couldn't do enough crossbar hits

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# But on their final try, these freestyle guys

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# They beat that target of six

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# Our heroes had to compete

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# To burst water balloons with their feet

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# Ray and Cherry had to run

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# But Steve's clever plan meant he won

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# And these two guys had a flair for going down stairs

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# But here come the rubbish bits

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# The outtakes! #

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When I heard that a... Ugh.

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That a couple of footie freestylers...

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I was delighted. No, I wasn't!

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Finally, a chance to show... No-o-o-argh!

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A chance to showcase my footie skills... No!

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When it comes...to football. Huh. Beat that.

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LAUGHTER

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BEN GROANS

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The team are joined by a pair of amazing football freestylers hoping to score themselves a record, water balloons make a welcome return to Officially Competitive, and we travel to China to witness a ludicrously treacherous balancing acrobatic record.


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