Episode 11 Officially Amazing

# Officially, officially, officially

# Amazing! #

MUSIC: English Country Garden

Today we're at Shires Hall, my modest country pile,

and Claudia and I are sharing a lovely picnic.

And she's told me she's going to be attempting the world record

for the fastest time to put six eggs in egg cups.

RECORD SCRATCH That sounds neither sensational

nor superb, however,

a gentleman should never tell a lady she's wrong.

Mind...blown.

Coming up on today's show...

What do these magnificently caped strongmen plan to do with

this giant tyre?

And our three warriors combine wooden cutlery with a racket sport.

Catchy. Or not.

But first, a case of the bends.

-Whoo!

-Ooh.

MR AMAZING SCREAMS

This is Claudia Hughes.

Her flexible, bendable

and startlingly stretchable body makes her an expert contortionist.

Er, which apparently means she can resemble a human scorpion.

Eat dinner with her feet and, oh, yes, very sensible,

brush her teeth afterwards. Lovely!

Today, Claudia will be attempting the record for...

..which of course looks something like this.

Now that's flex-ability!

-So, Claudia, you're naturally bendy.

-Yes.

But how much day-to-day training do you have to put in to ensure

that you remain flexible?

Um, I tend to do every other day, sort of two hours' training.

Doing loads of conditioning, handstand holds,

lots of sit-ups, press-ups, yes.

-So it's physically tough.

-It is, yes.

-Have you been breaking the record in practice?

-I have, actually, yes.

A tough feat.

Can the egg record be beaten?

KER-TISSHH!

Well, that's my best material used up already,

so let's get to the rules.

Claudia must pick up and place each egg in a cup using her feet only.

The record to beat is six eggs placed in 27.42 seconds.

Remember, Claudia's been contorting like this for years.

So don't try it yourself, you might just snap.

OUCH!

Time to bend into that flabbergasting chest stand position.

Three, two, one.

Go!

Ooh, it needs to be fully in to count.

Oh, no, it's tipped over!

Well, having broken the record in training,

Claudia knows how tight the margins are.

Once the egg was knocked over, the record time was out of her reach.

Here's her second attempt.

Go!

A change of direction and a change of fortune.

She's making quick progress, that's three!

And a fourth - much better.

Can she delicately nudge that fifth egg into place?

One to go, don't crack now, Claudia!

KLAXON

That was more like it. Fabulous foot finesse at a fine speed.

But has she beaten that record of 27.42 seconds?

That attempt...

..29.47.

Oo-oo-ooh!

Agonisingly close. Just two seconds off the record!

Claudia's willing to try again, but because of the strain this

position puts on her body, it'll be her final attempt.

Go!

This is another rapid start.

Two down.

Terrific toe technique!

She can't afford a single mistake here.

This is great pace. That's four in already.

She's like greased egg whitening!

No! She's dropped number five.

Is the pressure on her body taking its toll?

There's still a chance if she can drop it in quickly.

KLAXON Chop their tops off, those eggs are done.

It was a scramble with that fifth egg,

but Claudia was so fleet of foot with the other five

that she must be close to that 27 second target.

Mark, how exactly did she do?

In that attempt...

-31.67.

-Ohh!

-Ohh.

So close, but even Claudia's drastically elastic body

couldn't quite match that super fast target.

Now, from egg yolks to big blokes, with Al and Haruka.

THEY STRAIN

PHONE RINGS OFFICIALLY SIGHS

Waaah!

These two cape wearing gladiators guarding this giant wheel

are Ervin Katona from Serbia and Lauri Nami from Estonia.

They're hoping to break the world record for the...

And you won't find tyres like this on your bike.

This thing weighs a massive...

And they'll need to flip it up and back down the course in under...

..to beat Ervin's existing record.

Hello.

-Lauri's up first.

-KLAXON

Oh, no! His superpowers have deserted him.

He's paying the price for taking off that tremendous cape.

Nothing to do with the cape, Al. He's carrying a muscle injury.

This was always going to be a struggle.

Until, sadly, he's had to abandon his attempt.

Ervin's up next. Can he beat his own record?

Without his cape? No.

You do know their muscles do all the work?

Try telling that to Superman.

What?

Wow! He's halfway already.

And he doesn't even look...tyred.

KER-TISHHH!

I'll ignore that, Al.

Why aren't these supermen wearing their pants on the outside,

for extra power?

I've no idea. But he's done it!

The question is, was he under 43.22 seconds?

Oh, yes.

But if he had worn his super onesie, he would have been faster.

Ugh. Now, from tyre flipping to chopsticking.

Da-da!

Hmmm.

Uhh.

THEY SCREAM

Mmm.

MUSIC: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly By Ennio Morricone

Three men. One obsession.

They must break world records of the kind that you can try at home.

From back East...

From out West...

And from Bournemouth...

Previously, on Officially Competitive...

Our terrific trio deliberately went around and round in circles.

And rapidly rotating Ray revolved to victory to go top of the table.

Yeah!

Today's Officially Competitive sees our three record-breaking

legends go head-to-head in a heroic combination of racket sports

and Oriental cutlery.

And it's one we're all involved in.

Yes, today's record is the...

Oh, and it looks like that!

Let's have the team talks.

What can I do to make sure the team of Japan take this record?

-TRANSLATION:

-Teamwork and timing are most important, Haruka.

Catch and release, catch and release, that's the secret.

BOTH: Team Japan!

Fine words, but last time Cherry and Steve crossed sticks it was

The Sizzler who came away with a world record.

Steve, this is a two man record.

-I'm quite excited about this.

-I'm not.

-You're not?

-No.

So are you referring to the amount of records that have been within

our grasp and then have been cruelly snatched away by the hand of fate?

Yes.

Or, more likely, my feet crossing the line

when we're throwing wet sponges.

Or your throwing abilities with lemons.

Oh, do you have to keep bringing it back to all my lack of skill?

Yeah.

Team UK's in disarray as usual.

Can Team USA capitalise?

Unlikely.

All right, Ray, I'll be honest.

This record involves chopsticks and you're not

the best at chopsticks, and that's me being nice.

If I wasn't being nice I'd say you suck.

If I was being completely honest I'd be like, you really suck.

So how are we going to do better, how are we going to beat Steve

and Cherry?

I don't know, Al.

Team USA in no plan shocker! Let's get the rules.

Shuttlecocks must be delivered by a legal badminton serve.

Each shuttlecock must be placed in a bucket when caught.

And the target for this new record is to

catch 20 shuttlecocks in one minute.

Let us begin this beautiful union of shuttlecock

and chopstick that I'm calling Shuttlestick!

Team America's up first.

Three, two, one.

Go!

First serve.

A catch and dispatched.

They're off to a flying start.

Ray has come third in every chopsticks challenge ever.

But maybe today things will be different.

Or maybe not.

Shantha has allowed Team USA's two bucket approach.

Yes, but Ray has to catch before he can release,

and Al's serves are all over the place.

He had to dive for that one.

Over the net, Al.

And he's clearly unhappy with the lack of service.

Ooh! But that's a lovely catch.

See? My serves aren't all bad.

It's hard aiming at such a small target.

KLAXON Attempt over. But Ray's still going for it!

Amazing!

Can he make the catch?

No.

Team UK are on court next.

Go!

Steve is a genuine chopstick champ. Look at the style!

Look at the focus!

Look at the... Oh, no.

Yes, Steve is great with chopsticks.

But the catching part of this record is proving tough.

There's one!

But it was less a catch, more a spearing.

The chopstick impaled the shuttle and he had to free it with his hand.

Is that legal?

Nothing in the rules to say it's not.

Yes! This skewering style seems to be working.

Can he spike this one from Ben's latest looping lob?

Oh, so close.

Even the spearing doesn't seem to be working now.

Oh-ho! Right in the chest. Steve looks broken.

-Come on, Steve.

-Stop!

Yes, his hard won reputation as chief of the chopsticks seems

to have been thoroughly splintered.

I thought my serves were fine, though.

If you say so, Ben.

Now, it's Team Japan.

-Go!

-Haruka serves, chipping it into the air.

Mr Cherry follows the smooth arc of the shuttle.

And an immediate catch! Pure class.

That wasn't badminton, that was goodminton.

Ugh. Nice one, Ben.

Our set up here is absolutely crucial.

I'll say!

There's no rule against the number of buckets

and Team Japan have a whole line of them.

So Mr Cherry can dispatch his catches with ease.

It's 20 catches for the record and Team Japan look set on smashing it.

Yes, they genuinely practised hard for this

and Haruka's supremely accurate serving is helping Mr Cherry

complete catch after catch after catch.

Cherry-san waits until the shuttle is falling and then swoops,

timing his strike to perfection.

Like a cobra plucking doves out of the night sky.

Stop!

Uh, yes, just like that. Anyway, what a performance!

Truly, tiny aviation at its very finest.

But did we break a world record? Shantha?

Yes, we did.

ALL: Ooh!

Now at this point there's absolutely no way of knowing who could

have broken that record but please, Shantha, can you reveal the results?

Well, in joint third place, with a total of four...

is Team UK and Team USA.

Equal last, Ray! That's better than usual for a chopstick challenge.

So in first place, with a total of 23, it's Team Japan!

Ton, ton, wonton, bad-u-min-ton!

Unbelievable.

Along with sponges in face and jelly in mouth,

that's a third world record for Team Japan.

And Mr Cherry is now top equal with US Ray.

But can Steve level it up next time as our trio bare their soles

and try to stomp their way to soggy supremacy?

Join us then for more absolute amazingness like this.

# Well, Claudia amazed with her bendy display

# She used her feet to put eggs in cups

# But her incredible contorting

# And speedy egg sorting

# Just weren't quite fast enough

# Al and Ben had one to forget, serving over a badminton net

# Ray and Steve didn't really catch a thing,

# But team Japan got a record breaking win

# And after this Ervin must be feeling ti-ired... #

Hello.

# But here come the rubbish bits

# The outtakes! #

PHFRRT!

-Hooo!

-Push those arms straight.

Cleu-u-ughh!

SHE LAUGHS Cleu-u-ughh!