Episode 10 Officially Amazing


Episode 10

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# Officially, officially, officially # Amazing! #

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Ha!

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Greetings, salutations and hearty felicitations.

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Behold, another episodic instalment of authoritatively perplexing

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is born.

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What?

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He means welcome to officially amazing!

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And here's what's coming up on today's show.

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Our favourite super powered lung buster takes egg spinning to

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new levels of awesome.

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And a pair of fast

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and furious unicyclists take on a sprint hurdling record.

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But first, some rambunctious rotating.

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Ahhhh!

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CRASH

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It's an ancient story passed down through generations of three daring

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dynamos competing for world record titles that you could try at home.

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They are, for America,

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wondrous warrior, US Ray.

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For the United Kingdom, gallant goliath, Sizzling Steve.

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And for Japan, tantalising titan, Mr Cherry.

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Previously, on Officially Competitive.

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Mr Cherry's debonair derriere waddled its way to a win in the speed

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bum walk, putting the score board deliciously deadlocked.

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But today's challenge is all about bums on seats

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as our legends take on the record for

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Earlier on I witnessed The Sizzler in training. Prepare to be amazed.

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All right, Steve, let's see your record pace.

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Keep going, Steve.

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We've got all day.

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It's quite a privilege to watch such an icon at work.

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But Ray's still going to beat him.

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I know you've been training for this.

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I'm a little worried that you're going to get dizzy,

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how are you going to avoid that?

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Embrace the spin. Get the record and the win.

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What if you get really dizzy and you start to throw up?

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Suck it up.

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That's disgusting and informative.

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Ugh. Team USA in oversharing mode.

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Now, some words of hope from Cherry-san.

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Do you have any message to Ray and Steve?

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-TRANSLATION:

-I wish them luck and happy spinning.

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I just hope none of us spin clear off 't chair.

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We all hope that, Cherry. It would certainly be against the rules.

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Competitors must be sat on their chair throughout.

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They may only use their feet to increase spinning.

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And only full 360 degree rotations will count.

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The record to beat is a dizzying 40 rotations in 30 seconds.

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And first on the chair is Mr Cherry.

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Helmets are on today.

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You can't be too careful when it comes to flailing office furniture.

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Three! Two! One!

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Go!

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- Yeeeowww!

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A bellowing battle cry from the big man. He wants this.

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Ninja feet, ninja feet.

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Cherry's feet are harnessing the power of ancient ninja

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warriors to help him spin his office chair.

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- Adadadadadadada!

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-Go Cherry-san!

-- Aiaiaiai!

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Sounds like he's giving this everything.

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- Kaaa-ooo! Kaa-ba!

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Yes, Al. If we cut to helmet cam, you can

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see in his eyes just how much Cherry is giving to this attempt.

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He's almost out of control!

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Five! Four! Three!

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- Two! One!

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AIRHORN

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Cherry-san, kochi kochi.

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A valiant effort from Cherry.

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But the Sizzler has a secret anti-slip weapon.

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A patriotic carpet.

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Steve, are you ready?

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- Uh, yeah, I think so.

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I've never seen him so fired up.

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-Go!

-Come on, Steve.

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You've got me in a spin, Sizzler.

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Sizzler's gone for the classic single foot spinning technique.

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And he is gyrating like a dream.

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Oooh, Steve's switched feet. He's lefty powered now.

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'Ambidextrous feet are of course a must for pro chair spinning.'

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He's going off-rug!

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Let's go to helmet cam to see how that's affected him.

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Hmm. It's hard to tell.

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Dizzy Sizzy is a complicated beast, Haruka!

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-Five!

-Come on!

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Three!

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Two!

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One!

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AIRHORN

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Not bad, Steve.

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But there's only one record breaking revolver around here.

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And, in a remarkable act of sportsmanship,

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Sizzler has lent Ray his patriotic rug.

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Time to spin it to win it, baby.

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-Let's do this.

-All right,

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is there any final thing that you want to do before your attempt?

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-Yes, Al.

-All right.

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CHAIR HISSES

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Aww, yeah. US Ray. Let's go.

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- Three.

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- Two.

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- One.

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- Go!

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Let's go, Ray, come on!

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'This spinner's a winner!'

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Ray is a one footed chair rotator of some esteem.

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That star spangled leg makes my heart swell.

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Ray's demonstrating a very smooth spin.

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Almost effortless.

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But the pursed lips evident on helmet cam tell another story.

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100% focus.

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So focused, he's spun off the patriotic rug as well.

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Let's go, let's go, pick it up, pick it up.

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- Four!

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- three!

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- Two!

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- One!

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AIRHORN

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Woo!

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Ray made twirling around on a spinny chair look easy.

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Humbling stuff.

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But did he do enough to win and take the lead in the competition?

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And did anyone surpass that target of 40 rotations?

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Shantha, did we break a world record?

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No.

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Shantha, can you please reveal the results?

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In third place, with 24 spins, is...

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..Steve.

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THEY SIGH

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And in first place

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With 28 spins, is...

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-..Ray!

-HE CHEERS

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Yes! Yes, yes.

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Woo!

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An uncharacteristically balletic celebration from Team USA.

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Ooh! And now some modern dance!

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My man Ray beat Cherry by just two spins

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to return to the top of the league.

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But who knows what will happen next time

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when our heroes battle with shuttlecocks and chopsticks.

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For now, Al and Haruka have exciting news from China.

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Welcome to China and the return of the Incredible Ding!

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Ding is the fireman with meteoric lungs,

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who we last saw in series three, breaking the world record

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for fastest time to blow up a balloon using a 100 metre long fire hose.

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Mind-blowing blowing.

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Now, if we can have some quiet, please.

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I believe Ding himself is going to explain today's lung busting feat.

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-TRANSLATION:

-I'm going to put these here eggs in glasses, then blow on them

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so hard they flip over and their red bottoms go to the top.

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If I do it more than 30 times in a minute,

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I'll break my own world record. Nya-ha-ha!

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So, Ding will attempt the record for...

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And if you think that sounds easy, watch this mere mortal have a go.

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I think we've proved this is a near impossible task.

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But the crowd love it anyway.

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Wow!

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He must have lungs the size of spacehoppers!

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Ding's powerful breath creates a formidable jet stream of wind,

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which forces the eggs up and over.

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They're coming right out of the glass.

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Ding doesn't know the strength of his own breath.

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I'm struggling to think of a practical use for this skill,

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but I like it.

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A masterful display of puffing. And time's up.

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Has Ding beaten his own record of 30 eggs?

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Yes!

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49 eggs!

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Ding dong merrily on high.

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Now, over to Ben for some preposterous pedal power.

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Yeah! Wooooo!

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Ow! Ugghhh.

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OFFICIALLY SIGHS

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We first met freestyle unicyclists Mark Taylor

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and Simon Berry in series four as part of Team Voodoo,

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who smashed the spectacular

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4 x 50 metre hurdle relay world record.

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And now they're back, but this time they're rivals.

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Yes, today Simon and Mike will go wheel to wheel,

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competing for the world record for...

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The objects in question are hurdles. And the men in question are here.

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Last time each of you did one 50 metre lap.

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This time it's double the distance, is that going to take its toll?

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-I mean after the fifth hurdle, it was getting...

-Difficult.

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Pretty tiring. This is going to really test our endurance.

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Is there one who you think might just edge it or is there

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anything to separate you?

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It's extremely hard to tell, isn't it?

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Yes. I feel like Mike is much more comfortable in the jumps than I am.

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In terms of straight line speed I'm probably quicker.

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-But in terms of the jumps you're...

-It's going to be very interesting.

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And the first hurdles to clear are the rules.

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The hurdles must be at least 65 centimetres tall.

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The ten hurdles must be set over a course of 100 metres.

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And if a unicycle or unicyclist touches a hurdle the attempt

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is over.

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The record was set by German rider Lutz Eichholz back in series

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two, and stands at...

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Can Simon or Mike bring the record to Britain?

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Simon's up first.

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Three.

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Two.

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One.

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Go.

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Oh, it's a quick start, come on.

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Simon's soaring over the hurdles with room to spare.

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Lovely.

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Look how he uses his left arm to propel himself up and over.

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Come on, Simon.

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Ooh!

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Every leap is immaculate and he's so much faster than I expected.

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Four hurdles left!

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Pace all right, this is a pace.

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Yes. Two more to go, come on, Simon.

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One more, last one, let's do this.

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Yes!

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A huge leap over the final hurdle. What a run from Simon.

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-That was super quick.

-Thank you.

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I mean that was incredibly fast.

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I think it's time for you to have a go, Mike. How are you feeling?

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After that run? That was a pretty good run.

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Is that beatable?

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Anything's beatable.

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Ohh, fighting talk! Come on, let's go.

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After Simon's valiant vaulting, Mike needs something special just

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to beat him, let alone trouble the record.

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Three.

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Two.

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One.

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Go.

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And Mike's off to a flyer.

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Oooh!

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He twists over the hurdles, bending his knees to get extra height.

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Luminous leaping.

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Yes, it's a good pace

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'The record could be in serious trouble here.'

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Three more to go now.

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Mike's going so fast the cameraman's sprinting to keep up.

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Not so the sluggish sound department.

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Take your time.

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Ooh, just the two.

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Last one.

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AIRHORN

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'Another monumental monowheeled effort. But was it fast enough to

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'beat Simon and...'

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..Do we have a world record?

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Mark?

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The record to beat today was a time of 1 minute 46.44 seconds.

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The differences in time between each of your runs was just...

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So, with a time of 35.3 seconds...

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Smashing the record by over a minute!

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..and the new Guinness World Records title holder

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it's Simon! Congratulations.

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A sensational performance from Simon!

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In fact, both guys obliterated the previous record.

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What a way to end the show!

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Until next time, friends,

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when we'll return with more dizzying delights like these.

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# Well, our boys were in a spin

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# For a competitive win

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# And a record for office chair rotation

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# Steve and Cherry did great

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# But Ray's 28

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# Were a cause for this lovely celebration

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# We saw Simon battle with Mike

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# On their speedy one-wheeled bikes

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# And over those ten tricky jumps

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# Simon came up trumps

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# And Ding's egg blowing was no yolking matter

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# But here come the rubbish bits

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# The outtakes! #

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JAMES BOND THEME PLAYS

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Oh! Well, hello there, Mr Bond.

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We've been expecting you.

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Just doing a little nugget for any movie producers

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that are looking for a fresh face, you know.

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(Call me.)

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