Episode 6 Officially Amazing

# Officially, officially, officially... Amazing! #

BLOWS A RASPBERRY

ENGINE REVS Welcome to Officially Amazing,

the show that brings you more

world records than you can shake a record-breaking stick

at record-breaking pace at.

Today sees the return of the Moffatt brothers.

Alistair, why do you always insist on driving like

an absolute hooligan when I'm in the car?

Ben, I haven't even put the key in yet.

Just pretend. It's called being dramatic.

Here's what's coming up on the rest of today's show.

Which body part will these caped crusaders use to crush these cans?

And the miraculous Moffatts return to reclaim an old record.

But first, three more magical mavericks.

Yeah. Ha-ha-ha. Woo-hoo-hoo. Uh-oh.

THWACK!

..three superheroes have assembled once more

to attempt world records...

Woohoo!

..that you can try at home.

From the States, it's the Ray Man.

From Japan, the Cherry Bomb

and from the UK, Dr Sizzle

or Steve for short.

This is...

Previously on Officially Competitive...

Steve made like the Pharaohs and built an award-winning pyramid.

Leaving Cherry-san adrift at the bottom of the table.

But that could all change today with the...

Let's get the team talks.

You must have undertaken some serious toilet roll-based research?

Yes, I have been to many supermarkets

and bought many different kind of rolls.

So do all the supermarkets in your local area

think you've got really loose bowels?

Er, I hope not.

Awkward!

So Steve's researched this one top to bottom.

Is Ray ready to rock and roll too?

You noticed the difference between US toilet paper and UK toilet paper?

All feels good.

King of the bathroom. Number one.

Actually, number two.

Whatever your number is, Ray, Mr Cherry has it.

Well, Cherry-san, you told me that you actually practised

on the plane on the way from Japan. How was that?

-TRANSLATION:

-Yes, like all the best athletes,

I do prefer to train at altitude.

But, eventually, the cabin crew told me

they'd rather I practised after we landed, like.

Sensible advice from the flight team there.

Now, the loo rules.

A standard 2-ply, 240-sheet roll must be used.

Only one hand may be used for the unravelling.

If any tissue is detached from the roll, the attempt is disqualified.

And the record to beat is 9.8 seconds.

If you want to try this yourself,

please make sure it's not your family's last roll.

TOILET NOISES AND FLUSHING

Sorry, guys, I'm sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

All right, oh. I would give it a minute in there.

Oof.

Shantha, over to you.

Three, two, one.

-AIR HORN

-Go.

Before he can even start unrolling,

Cherry must break the seal without using his other hand.

Oh, he's struggling.

Worse still, his Japanese loo rolls have been disqualified

for not having enough sheets.

All that altitude training was for nothing.

How will he cope now in this tricky, toilety test?

Oh, this is some riveting unravelling.

Yes, that arm is rotating at full speed.

And he's done.

His roll can unroll no further, so the attempt is over.

Can Ray wipe up a storm in response?

-AIR HORN

-Go.

Look at Ray attack that seal.

But wait!

He attacked it too much and four sheets of that precious paper

have been savagely ripped off.

What? No!

Does that end Ray's bathroom-themed dreams?

Well, that is up to Shantha.

Look at him. He's an unwhirling dervish.

It's almost hypnotic.

Ray has refused to unravel while unravelling.

He does not deserve disqualification after this textbook toilet rolling.

That's not your call, Al. But if he doesn't win,

at least there'll be plenty of tissue to wipe away his tears.

Harsh, Ben.

Come on, Sizzler.

-AIR HORN

-Go.

It's taking valuable seconds to break that seal. Not a great start.

No, indeed. He's already getting BOGGED down.

Come on, Sizzle.

What a twirly tornado of tumbling tissue.

Has a lifetime of using British loo roll given Steve a crucial edge?

Surely not. Loo roll is the same the world over.

Except in Japan, where it's shorter.

-Stop.

-Uncurling complete. Nice one, Sizzler.

A tissue, a tissue, it all falls down.

Let's find out who uncoiled the quickest.

Shantha, have we broken a world record?

-No, we haven't.

-Aw.

Never mind though. There's still the

all-important competitive point to play for.

Shantha, the results please.

Ray, you were disqualified as you ripped the paper from the roll.

Two disqualifications in a row!

Oh, Ray.

And in first place, with a time of 43.583 seconds,

-Steve.

-BOTH: Yeah!

Oh, excellent work, Sizz.

-I know, I couldn't believe it.

-I didn't think any of us could.

Yes, for once things have unravelled in the right way

for the Sizzler.

And he tops the leaderboard.

And, remarkably, Mr Cherry's still rock bottom.

Next time, he needs to put his lucky pants on,

then take them off, then back on again.

Now, from pants to parking.

Aw.

Yes, those magnificent Moffatts in their motoring machines are back.

We've seen these spectacular stunt-driving siblings

set a stunning six records in four series.

But today, their remarkable record-breaking run

is under severe threat.

Back in series two, Alistair and John claimed the record for the...

..as they slid two cars into this petite parking spot.

But Chinese pair Tian Linwen and Xia Hongjun

have since beaten it twice

with their alternative, simultaneous parking method -

setting a record of just 42cm of space between the four cars.

Now the brothers want their title back.

So the Chinese team set the record at 42cm.

Guys, what are you hoping for today?

Well, we're going to play it safe as we can

and we're just going to go for 41.

Sounds sensible. So, Trevor, you're here as the kind of

-support team and maybe offer a few words of wisdom.

-Yeah, I can watch

what's happening from the outside and I can give them some feedback

with where they're going wrong.

-HE LAUGHS

-What do you mean go wrong?

Best of luck, guys. You're going to regain this record today.

I've got a good feeling. Come on.

I've also got some rules.

Once parked, the cars must not be touching each other

and wheels must be within 30cm of

this white curb without touching it.

The target is to leave

a total space between all the cars of 41cm.

So, the Moffatts are ready for their first attempt

at regaining their old record.

John in the white car comes screeching in,

and Alistair is right behind him.

That was good.

Look at that. Incredible precision on the first go.

Seems good from this angle.

Ooh, but John may be too far from the white curb.

Ah, and the two Moffatt motors are touching,

so that attempt is invalid.

Unbelievably close.

Here they go again.

Come on now.

John needs to get as tight to that first car as possible.

He's in.

Oh, it's good, it's good.

Can Alistair squeeze into the gap that's left?

They're clear of the parked cars and the curb.

But, oh, no.

Same problem.

We got a touch situation right here.

What do they need to do right now?

They just need to concentrate.

I think you need to concentrate, channel their inner Moffatt

and tell them what they need to do.

-All right.

-I taught them everything they know.

Is that why they keep messing up?

All right, let's do this. Come on. Let's go, Moffatts!

John's in safely.

Oh, Alistair careers into the curb.

They're refusing to give up.

Could this be the one?

Ah.

What a car-tastophe.

That's not really parking, that's just stopping.

This is proving tough, even for the Moffatts.

In a record where the distances to begin with are so minute,

you've got to be perfect.

Could this be the first time we see the brothers fail to break a record?

Find out after watching two titans with a CAN-do attitude.

-AIR RUSHES

-Oh...

SHE LAUGHS

We're in China for an epic battle

to discover who has the toughest shoulder blades on Earth.

Or, to give its official name...

And please...

These guys are trained professionals,

as you can tell from their magnificent capes.

The USA's Fabrizio Milito

holds the current record at 41 cans.

China's Feng Yixi is here to take it off him.

Go.

MUSIC: Hearts On Fire by John Cafferty

Look at him go!

I had no idea shoulder blades could be so powerful...

or so useful.

To give him the best chance of breaking that record,

Feng relies on his helper to place those cans quickly.

Can after can reduced to nothing more than recyclable garbage.

-AIR HORN

-Time's up.

Has he beaten Fabrizio's record of 41?

Oh, 51!

Our brave American looks CRUSHED. CAN he recover?

AIR HORN

MUSIC: You're The Best by Joe 'Bean' Esposito

-He's certainly off to a fast start.

-His helper needs to be careful.

This is a bit like hand-feeding pork chops to a lion.

ROAR

-Get it wrong, and you'll lose some fingers.

-Heroic scenes.

Could he top Feng's tin-wrecking record?

-AIR HORN

-That's time.

Has he reclaimed his can-crushing crown?

Just now, Fabrizio, you achieved a final total of...

..60 cans. It's a brand-new world record title.

Wow!

60 cans.

And he CAN-not believe it.

But while fabulous Fab is feted

and has the proud pose of a true champion,

foiled Feng looks furious.

Hopefully, we won't see another frowning face like that today.

Come on, the Moffatts!

Alistair and John are trying to break the record

for the tightest double parallel park

but the only thing being broken so far is that poor, white curb.

These motoring masters have never failed us before,

but their perfect record-breaking record is now in serious jeopardy.

Here they come once more.

Ooh, could this be good?

The cars aren't touching,

but Alistair's more than 30cm from the line so it won't be valid.

Alistair, not quite worked just yet. I've got full confidence.

Have you?

It's on and there's a gap there so we'll try and fit a car in it.

If it can be done, then the Moffatts can do it. Come on!

They're still confident but it's late in the day

and this will have to be their final attempt.

Can they get that precision timing dead on?

Can they claim yet another world record?

They're putting everything into this

but it has to work this time.

Cracking car-eography from the magical Moffatts.

But have they pulled this off?

They have an anxious wait as adjudicator Mark checks their work.

This is going to be close.

So, Mark, please don't keep us in suspense any longer.

What are your results?

I can tell you that with a distance of 41cm,

we've a brand-new Guinness World Records title.

THEY CLAP AND CHEER

-Congratulations.

-Thank you very much.

Incredible!

The brothers' refusal to give up

means their record-breaking run remains intact.

Join us next time for more genuine genius like this.

# Well, our competitors rushed and were a little bit flushed

# As they unravelled for a victory

# The loo roll flew as Steve beat the other two

# And won single-handedly

# Alistair and John were back with a record-reclaiming attack

# And our mighty Moffatt men

# Got their double parking record back again

# And Fabrizio crushed Feng's dreams with his mighty shoulders

# But here come the rubbish bits

# The outtakes! #

I haven't even put the key in yet.

Oh, I've forgotten my line. Argh!

And with a distance of 7.5, no, that's not right.

THEY LAUGH