Episode 7 Officially Amazing


Episode 7

Ben, Al and Haruka witness record attempts from around the world. Gymnast and stuntman Alex Jerram attempts a twisting vault record.


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# Officially, officially, officially

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# Amazing! #

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Hello, I'm Ben Shires.

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And I'm Al Jackson.

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And I'm Haruka Kuroda.

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And together we are...

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The...

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Well, that was rubbish.

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What kind of intrepid band of presenting superheroes

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can't even decide on a name?

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-Sorry, Ben.

-Sorry, Ben.

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Yes, well, it's a good job that we've got

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a super stonking spectacle of records

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to showcase today, otherwise we'd look kind of a bit silly right now.

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I think you're right.

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We've got skipping like you've never seen before.

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And shocking scenes in the bunker as our heroes

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reveal their undercrackers.

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But first, it's time for a twist on an old favourite.

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Ow! O-o-o-oh...

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Remember back in series three when we met Toby,

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who demolished the epic world record for the longest Double Kong?

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Today, we're taking epic to new levels of epic.

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Oh, yes. This man is bringing back the Double Kong, with a twist.

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What's the twist?

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Well, it's a twist.

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Meet former international gymnast, and Hollywood stuntman, Alex Jerrom.

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He's taken a break from shooting movies with the likes

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of Brad Pitt to attempt the brand-new world record for the...

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How much more difficult does the twist make a Double Kong,

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which, let's not forget, is a very difficult move?

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It is really tricky, as you are travelling so fast,

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and you're trying to spot the block.

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You can't actually see it until the last moment,

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so it's just judging everything right for that, which is tricky.

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-Good luck, Alex.

-Thank you very much.

-Can't wait to see it.

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Here are the rules.

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Alex must vault between two objects of equal height.

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They must be at least 1.25 metres tall.

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He must do a full 360 degree aerial twist between the vaults,

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and only his hands can touch

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the objects throughout.

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To set a new world record,

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Alex must perform a twisting Double Kong over a distance of 2.9 metres.

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But he's going straight in at three metres!

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Come on!

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Alex, in your own time.

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He's up, but can he land it?

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O-o-o-oh! Just too short.

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And that is why we're using soft vaults.

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I'm kind of getting that it wasn't quite how you imagined it.

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Uh, no. Just tricky getting up to speed,

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to be fair, at the moment. Yeah, I want to give it another go.

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But attempt two wasn't any better.

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Another mighty effort, but... O-o-o-oh!

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Another clear fail.

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Alex feels his run-up isn't long enough to hit full speed,

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so he extends the runway.

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Will it give him the extra flight he needs?

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Alex, in your own time.

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A huge push into the twist, but it's all about that landing.

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Oh! That looked good.

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Official adjudicator Mark reviews the slow-mo footage.

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Could we have a new world record?

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In that attempt, both your forearm and hip did touch

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the second object, which means it is an invalid attempt, I'm afraid.

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OK.

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It was his best attempt yet.

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But Alex's wrist and hip tickled the vault, so he's denied again.

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With three metres proving just too much, Alex shortens

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the distance between the vaults to that 2.9 metre minimum target.

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Will a ten-centimetre reduction make the difference?

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Find out after Al and Haruka seek out some scintillating skipping.

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Who-o-o-oa!

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Aaaaaargh!

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He-he-he.

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Meet superstar skipper Anika Stuhr from Germany.

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Skippedy-doo-dah!

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What's she going to do?

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Today, Anika will attempt the implausible most skips

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while sitting in one minute.

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Her target is 100 skips.

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That is just 100 more than I could do.

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Go!

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Whoa! How does she do that?

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Well, Anika has meteoric muscles in her tummy, legs and bottom

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which propel her body off the floor, high enough to make a skip.

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I think this might be one of the most extraordinary

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things my eyes have ever witnessed.

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She's defying the forces of nature!

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Wow!

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Beguiling, buttock-based bouncing.

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But also tiring. This takes enormous physical effort.

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-HORN BLOWS

-And that's a minute!

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Has she topped 100 skips?

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Yes! 108!

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Could this be any better?

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Well, here comes Anika's boyfriend.

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MUSIC: The Power Of Love by Jennifer Rush

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Oh. This is... This is beautiful.

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-Are you...crying?

-I've just got something in my eye.

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Right. Back to you now, Ben.

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So beautiful!

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After three valiant attempts, Alex Jerrom was beaten

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by the three metre long, full twisting Double Kong.

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With the distance between vaults now at 2.9 metres,

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the record is still for the taking.

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Can Alex twist himself to glory?

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Alex, in your own time.

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O-o-o-o-o-oh!

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Incredible!

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It looked like Alex's best attempt yet, but was it valid?

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Official adjudicator Mark has the answer.

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In the previous attempts, we were disqualifying them

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because you were relying on your forearm when you were landing.

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In that attempt, it was purely done with the hands.

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So, at 2.9 metres,

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-that is a brand-new Guinness world record title!

-Yeah!

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Yes. Put it there!

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Alex never gave up.

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What a monumental effort, rewarded with a world record title.

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Now, time to ramp up the monumentality to monstrous!

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Oof!

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Ow!

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He-he-he.

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Three courageous contenders battling to obliterate world records

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that you could try at home.

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We present intergalactic gargantuan, US Ray of America.

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Cataclysmic colossus, Mr Cherry of Japan.

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And, for the UK, the astronomical antihero that is... Sizzling Steve.

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This...is...

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Previously, on Officially Competitive...

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Sizzling Steve's unparalleled unravelling of a loo roll

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sent him right to the top of the table.

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With three-time world champion Cherry

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now languishing in last place.

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But today is all about who has the knack with knickers,

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in the record for the...

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Let's parlay pants.

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You're a man who has a close relationship with his pants.

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And, so, the choice of which pants to jump into

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must've been a tough one.

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-No.

-No?

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Talk me through your weapons of choice.

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-Pair of briefs.

-Can we be more detailed?

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Not really.

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So, mystery surrounds Sizzler's pants.

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Is Ray going to backflip into his?

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How is your technique different

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when you're backflipping into pants or just jumping into pants?

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When I'm backflipping, I've got helpers, so I don't have to

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do as much of the work - I just flip and there they are.

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But when I'm doing jumping into pants, there's no-one to help me.

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Are there any dangers associated with a record like this?

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Yeah. You could just trip over your own pants.

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I do.

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It happens.

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No-one know pants like my man, Cherry-san.

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What is the key to success?

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TRANSLATION:

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-YORKSHIRE ACCENT:

-Practise makes perfect with pants, me duck.

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And I've been practising in t'park, in London.

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I might've looked a little strange.

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Well, good luck, Cherry-san.

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And, as the Japanese proverb goes,

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"May your underpants go on quick, and come off even quicker."

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Where there are underpants, there must be rules.

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Any briefs-style underpants or swimming trunks may be used.

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The contestant must jump into the underpants with both feet,

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and they must not step on the pants.

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After each jump, the pants must be pulled to the waistline,

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and the record to beat is nine jumps in 30 seconds.

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'My man, Ray, is up first.'

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Ray, are you ready? - Ready.

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- Three...two...one... Go!

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'Ooh, do I detect snagging?'

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'Yes, a classic toe-snag, and he's trodden on the gusset.'

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'It won't count.'

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'O-o-o-oh! But this is much better.'

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'This must be how Superman gets dressed.'

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'One-legged? Huh. That's not standard pants procedure.'

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Don't worry about that. Oh, here we go.

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'Come on, Ray. This is pants in the wrong way.'

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'Now his knickers are in a twist.'

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'What's Ray doing?'

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-Five...four...three...

-'I think that confident pants stance

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'signals he's had enough.'

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-HORN BLOWS

-Ending it with some dignity.

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Good job.

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Sizzler's PPB (Pants Personal Best)

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in this event is a massive one jump into pants.

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He just needs to improve by a mere 900% for the record.

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So, I'm wearing external pants in solidarity.

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Three...two...one... Go!

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O-o-oh. Almost, Steve.

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'Oh, dear. Completely missed.'

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'At least the mystery of Steve's pants choice is solved -

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'racing red with black trim.'

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'Not that he can get into them.'

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'O-o-oh! It's not going well, but it is a Herculean effort.'

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You're the boss of the pants. Yes!

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'Definite snagging there.'

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'Never mind.'

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'Let's bask in the glory of a grown man struggling to

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'take off his own undercrackers.'

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One small leap for the Sizzler, one giant step for Sizzler-kind!

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'Look at that precision pants incursion from the Sizzler!'

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Come on, now, Sizz.

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'Whoa!'

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'Was that another bona fide jump?'

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'Yes, it was.'

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-Five...four...

-Come on, Sizzler!

-..three...two...

-Come on!

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-Yes!

-..one.

-Ye-e-e-e-es!

-Stop!

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'A nation billows with pride at Sizzler's pantification.'

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And, so to Cherry.

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Bottom of the competitive table,

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and facing a humiliation of Sizzler-sized proportions.

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Can he pinch the point with his pants?

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-Cherry-san, are you ready?

-No.

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'Oh, I say. Cherry removes his fancy pants and dons a competition pair.'

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-'Stirring scenes.'

-Japan! OK.

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'He's chosen a lycra swimming pant.'

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Go!

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'Wow! This is preposterous pant-wrangling.'

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'He's acing every jump.'

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'He's chosen his pants very well.'

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'Their stretchiness is providing a luxuriantly large landing zone.'

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'Ooh, but he got his feet caught there. Will that one count?'

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-Five...four...

-'Is pant-fatigue setting in?'

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-'Come on, Cherry!'

-Stop!

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Yay!

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'It looked good, but were they all valid jumps?'

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'And did anyone get near that target of nine?'

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Do we have a new world record holder for pants-jumpering-innering?

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Shantha?

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-Yes, we do.

-Ooooooooooh!

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In third place, with a total of two successful jumps...

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-..is Steve.

-'Doubling his PPB.'

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And, in first place, with a total of 11 successful jumps...

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..is Mr Cherry. - Ye-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-eah!

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'And Cherry is the pants champion of the wo-o-o-o-orld!'

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I am pant-tastic! Ye-e-e-e-eah!

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This win puts Cherry right back in the competitive game.

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Swing high, sweet Cherry-ot. You deserve it.

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But who will triumph next time, in a shaving cream showdown?

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Find out when we return with more monumental marvellousness,

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like this.

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# Well, Alex kept going wrong with his twisty Double Kong

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# He just couldn't fly far enough

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# But in the end he got there, as he soared through the air,

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# He's made of record breaking stuff

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# Ray and Steve had a nightmare with their underwear

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# So, Cherry was our champ at jumping into pants

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# And Anika bounced her way to a skipping record

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# But here come the rubbish bits

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# The outtakes! #

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Hello, I'm Ben Shires.

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-..And I'm Al Jackson.

-BEN LAUGHS

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Japants, go!

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CHERRY LAUGHS

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Gymnast and stuntman Alex Jerram stars, attempting an incredible twisting vault record. The team meet a German woman who can skip while sitting down, and the Officially Competitive challengers attempt the world record for jumping into pants.


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