Shipshape Old Jack's Boat

HE LAUGHS

And good day to you.

# This is the place to be for Salty Dog and me

# Down by the harbour, we'll be there

# Round every corner there's something to share

# Give us a cheer, our friends are here, just Salty Dog and me... #

-HE LAUGHS

-Come on, Salty.

# This is the place to meet, down at the end of the street

# Seagulls flying up in the blue

# There's always a cup of tea waiting for you

# Out in the fun, having some fun, just Salty Dog and me

# Haul away, haul away

# Sing the song of the sea

# Hoist the sail, I'll tell you a tale of Salty Dog and me

# This is the place to go, and these are the people we know

# The village is busy with things to see

# And there's the Rainbow down by the quay

# There's stories to tell, just join us as well

# Just Salty Dog and me. #

PHONE RINGS

You know, Salty, this feels like a Mermaid Cafe sort of a day,

doesn't it? Come on.

BELL RINGS Coming through. Busy-busy!

Here, I wonder what Miss Bowline-Hitch is up to.

Come on, we'll go and find out.

Thanks for the plants, Miss Bowline-Hitch.

They look lovely there.

-Make things look ship-shape.

-They do, don't they?

I'll just leave this last one here...

then I'll be on my way. Busy-busy.

-Busy-busy.

-Bye-bye.

Greetings, Captain. How's my lovely Shelly.

Oh, I got a postcard from her today.

-She sends her love.

-Oh, thank you.

-Do you like these plants?

-Yeah.

Miss Bowline-Hitch grew them.

-Oh. Well, she's done a good job there, hasn't she?

-Yes, she has.

Do you like them, Salty?

These are hebe.

They're chrysanthemums. That little chap, there, that's a heather.

Hmm. But I have no idea what that one is.

No. It doesn't look like much, does it?

No, it doesn't. But I'm sure we'll find out soon enough.

Why don't I fire up the boiler and get tea brewed?

Oh, good idea. Listen, anything to eat on the menu?

Ah. Operation menu still at the planning stage.

-Oh, I see.

-I'll let you know.

Well, I'll just make myself comfortable then, shall I?

-HE LAUGHS

-Thank you.

BIRD CROWS

DOG BARKS

No, no! Salty!

Salty...

-Oh...

-Here you are, Jack.

-Ah...

-Oh...

I'm sorry, Captain. It's us causing chaos again.

-HE SIGHS

-I can stand them up easily enough.

I don't know why I let you two into my cafe!

It always seems to be that we make a bit of a mess.

-HE WHISTLES

-Salty! Yes, Salty. Good girl.

We'll see you later. Come on, Salty.

-Sorry, Captain. Sorry.

-HE SIGHS

There.

Got to keep things ship-shape.

There she is, the Rainbow.

But what have you got for us today, my dear?

HORN BLOWS

HE LAUGHS

Come on, Salty.

HE SINGS TO HIMSELF

Here we are.

HE LAUGHS

There you go, girl. You settle yourself down there.

Do you know? I don't think you'd made a very good gardener, Salty.

Oh.

Speaking of gardeners, do you remember that time

we helped out our old friend the Gardener Fish?

Now, he was a character.

Let me get myself comfortable and I'll tell you the story.

This is going to make your tail wag all right, Salty.

Once upon a twinkly time, the Rainbow set off from Staithes,

waved goodbye to Whitby, and disappeared over the horizon.

# Just Salty Dog and me upon the briny sea

# It was one of those wonderful golden days

# For sailing away on the rolling waves

# The seagulls are soaring and we're off exploring

# Just Salty Dog and me. #

-Good girl.

-HE LAUGHS

I got up to stretch my legs when - thud, thud, thud, thud -

we heard a thudding, hammering sound coming from under the sea.

I looked at Salty and Salty looked at me,

and before you could say "galloping sea horses",

we were under the waves to find out what it was.

Down below, the sunlight was shimmering on a sea garden

overgrown with wild and unusual plants.

"This is the Gardener Fish's garden, Salty." I said.

And then - boom, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud -

the noise was coming from behind a wall at the edge of the garden.

And suddenly, the Gardener Fish appeared.

"Hello," I said. "We've come to see what all the noise is about."

"Isn't it dreadful?" said the Gardener Fish.

"And on such an important day!"

"Why is today important?" I asked.

"Well, every year, I grow sea plums for the sea king."

said the Gardener Fish, pointing at some knobbly, bobbly fruit.

"They're the sea king's favourite," he explained.

"And he's coming to collect them today,

"and to make matters worse, I can't

"find my gardening tools anywhere!" he wailed.

Well, the noise got louder and louder and thud, thud, boom, boom.

"Listen, let's find out what's going on." I said.

And we went over to the wall and we peeked over the top.

And what did we see? But a big shark hammering planks of wood.

Boom, boom, boom.

"What is going on?" said the Gardener Fish, crossly.

"Sorry," said the shark.

"I can't tell you. It's a royal secret."

"Well!" said the Gardener Fish.

"Come on, I've got to tidy up my garden before the sea king arrives!"

"Salty and I can help." I said.

"Thank you." said the Gardener Fish.

"First, we need to trim the wild and tangly seaweed,

"but I can't find my seaweed trimmers!"

Just then, I spotted George the sawfish

swimming by with his lovely long nose and sharp teeth.

I had a useful thought.

"George, would you please trim this tangly seaweed

"with your lovely long nose and sharp teeth?"

"Ah, no problem." he said.

And saw, saw, trim, trim, trim,

he ever-so-swiftly and niftily trimmed the seaweed.

And there, beneath the tangly seaweed,

were the Gardener Fish's seaweed trimmers.

"You need somewhere to keep those." said George.

"Yes," I said, "keep things ship-shape."

Well, we thanked George and he disappeared over the wall.

And soon, we didn't just hear hammering, we heard sawing as well.

Hmm.

The Gardener Fish - ho-ho! - he rolled his eyes.

"What about these rambly sea roses?" I asked him.

"They need clipping but I can't find my rose clippers!" he said.

Just then, a crab came by waving his pincers.

"Hello," I said, "your pincers look very fine."

"Would you mind using them to clip these rambly sea roses?"

"Not at all!" said the crab.

And clip, clip, clip, snap, snap, snap, he clipped all the roses back.

And there, behind the rambly roses,

were the Gardener Fish's rose clippers.

"You need somewhere to keep those," said the crab,

"then you can always find them."

We thanked the crab for his help and he disappeared over the wall.

And soon, we didn't just hear hammering and sawing,

we heard clip, clip, clipping as well.

The Gardener Fish rolled his eyes.

"What a racket!"

"Never mind. Your garden is nearly ready for the sea king." I said.

But the Gardener Fish still had to plant his sea cabbages

and he couldn't find a spade to dig the holes.

"Don't worry," says I,

"I know an excellent digger." Hoo!

Salty, of course.

-Well, Salty set to work top speed.

-HE BLOWS RASPBERRIES

And in a blurry of scrambling paws, she scraped and she clawed,

diggidy-diggidy-diggidy-dig,

and soon there were lots of sea cabbage-size holes.

We planted each one.

And do you know what we found underneath their curly

cabbage-y leaves?

The Gardener Fish's spade.

"You really need somewhere to put those tools of yours," I said,

"to keep things ship-shape."

Suddenly, Percy the pipe fish announced

the arrival of the sea king.

HE MAKES HORN NOISE

We all bowed, including Salty.

"Your garden is looking more beautiful than ever!"

the sea king boomed.

"Thank you, Your Majesty." said the Gardener Fish, bowing.

Just then, the noise from behind the wall grew louder...

..and then someone shouted out, "It's finished!"

-And a big cheer went up.

-CHEERING

The Gardener Fish blushed.

"I'm sorry about the noise." he said.

"Well, that's my fault, really." said the sea king,

in his kingly tone.

"You see, you're always giving me sea plums,

"so I wanted to give you something...

"and the sea creatures kindly offered to make it for you."

And the king clapped his hands,

and suddenly Charlie the squid appeared behind the wall,

stretching his long arms upwards.

He was holding the most fabulous, dabulous shed,

and he placed it in the corner of the Gardener Fish's garden.

So, that's why everyone was making a noise.

Shed-making is a very noisy business.

"Somewhere to keep your tools." the king boomed.

"Thank you," said the Gardener Fish, happily, "I love it."

"Every gardener should have a shed, Salty," I said.

"Just like every sailor should have a ship."

"Which reminds me, we'd better get back to the Rainbow."

So, we said our goodbyes and before you could say,

"knobbly, bobbly sea plums", we were back on board

and sailing back to Staithes and home.

They were very nice, those sea plums.

I bet they'd make nice jam, wouldn't they?

What do you reckon, Salty?

Did you like that story, Salty? All true, of course.

Mind you, my stories always are.

Come on, girl.

HE LAUGHS

Hey-hey. Everything all right now, Captain?

Fine, thanks, Jack. But I am still wondering what this plant is.

-Ah.

-It doesn't seem to have any flowers.

-No.

Perhaps Salty knows.

No. Salty's no gardener, that's for sure.

Oh, I don't know. She looks very interested.

She just likes sniffing, that's all.

But what have you found there, Salty?

-Eh?

-Oh...

-Ho-ho-ho-ho!

-Carrots?

Clever Salty. She is a gardener after all.

Miss Bowline-Hitch must have planted carrot seeds in there by mistake.

Yeah. Well, I tell you, it's solved what's on your menu problem.

So, what is on the menu, Jack?

Carrot soup.

Ha! Carrot soup!

BOTH LAUGH

Carrot soup. Good girl, Salty!

Well, Salty, that's it for today.

We'll see all our friends next time.

Oh, and we'll see you next time as well. Bye-bye.

Come on, girl.