Whatchamaloop Old Jack's Boat

Ha! Oh.

And good day to you.

# This is the place to be For Salty Dog and me

# Down by the harbour We'll be there

# Round every corner There's something to share

# Give as a cheer Our friends are here

# Just Salty Dog and me...

Ha-ah! Come on, Salty.

# This is the place to meet Down at the end of the street

# Seagulls flying up in the blue

# There's always a cup of tea Waiting for you

# Out in the sun, having some fun Just Salty Dog and me

# Haul away, haul away Sing a song of the sea

# Hoist the sail I'll tell you a tale

# Of Salty Dog and me

# This is the place to go And these are the people we know

# The village is busy With things to see

# And there's the Rainbow Down by the quay

# There's stories to tell Join us, as well

-# Just Salty Dog and me. #

-PHONE RINGS

What do you think is broken, Sam?

I think it's the oojamaflip.

No, no, no, you're wrong! It's bound to be the doobry-whatsit.

I think you're wrong, but I'll have another go at fixing it.

-Hello, Ernie.

-Hello, Jack.

-Hello!

Got a bit of a job on your hands, Ernie?

I certainly have. Behold, Jack, the future of fish selling.

-It looks like your old fish stall to me.

-It is.

But it's different.

-Sam and I have built a machine that will change my life.

-Oh, yeah?

-Yeah.

If you want a nice piece of fish, say, haddock, just ask me.

I press a button

and the haddock is lifted into the air by the doobry-whatsit.

Oojamaflip.

-And I don't have to bend over to pick it up.

-All fixed.

-I'm not sure this is going to work.

-Why not?

-It's been built by me and Ernie.

-My point exactly.

Oh, ye of little faith.

We needed to just make a little adjustment of the doobry-whatsit.

-The oojamaflip.

-Yeah, whatever. Shall we give it a go?

What fish would you like, Jack?

-Well, I was going to ask for a nice piece of halibut.

-Coming right up.

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

Oh!

-It must've been the, er...

-Oojamaflip.

-..doobry-whatsit.

BOING!

I'm sure we'll get it right a third time.

You know, I'm going you two

to work on your doobry-whatsit, oojamaflip problem.

I think I'll be safer onboard the Rainbow. Come on, Salty.

You could be smacked in the ear hole by a lump of halibut.

-I'm losing business!

-I'm going to get back.

DRILLING AND HAMMERING Hit it there. Hit is hard.

There she is, the Rainbow. What have you got for us today, m'dear?

There you go, Salty. Let's get comfy.

You know, I'm not sure Sam and Ernie needed

a doobry-whatsit or a oojamaflip.

-What they needed was a, er...

-SALTY BARKS

Yeah, that's it, girl, a watchamaloop.

Remember when we needed to a watchamaloop, girl?

That was a tale to get your whiskers wiggling, that was.

Let me get comfortable and I'll tell you the story.

Once upon a twinkly time, the Rainbow set off from Staithes,

waved goodbye to Whitby and disappeared over the horizon.

Salty and I were spruced up nicely and ready for a day out.

So we started to sing.

# Just Salty Dog and me

# Upon the briny sea

# Our beards are combed And we're looking good

# We're the dandiest pair In the neighbourhood

# Our whiskers are flawless It's hard to ignore us

-# Just Salty Dog and me.#

-HE CHUCKLES

Suddenly, something rose up out of the water. Whoosh!

It was Coral Reef's pink submarine

and there was Coral, holding a loudspeaker.

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls," she said.

Salty let out a whine. "Oh, and dogs, of course.

"I would like to invite you on a tour of the mysteries of the sea."

Salty and I howled enthusiastically. We love going on tours.

"First stop, the invisible squid," Coral announced.

Ah, it was wonderful, whizzing along under the sea,

shoals of shimmering fish darted this way and that

amongst all the colourful, crinkly coral.

"Look at that, Salty," I said,

pointing to an extraordinary tree with long, rubbery strands.

Salty's nose quivered. It had a rather unusual smell.

Then, all at once, the submarine stopped and out we popped

near some patterned rocks.

"Now, watch those rocks very carefully," said Coral Reef.

So we watched and we saw a shape appearing.

It was patterned just like the rocks,

but, it had eight wiggly arms.

As it came towards us, its colours changed. Ha! Would you believe it?

It was Charlie the squid.

"Wow! That's an amazing trick," I said.

"You look just like the rocks."

"Yeah," smiled Charlie. "Squids can change colour. Watch this."

And he' spread himself over the pink submarine

and, before we knew it, he had turned pink, too.

It looked like he'd disappeared.

"Bravo for the invisible squid," we shouted.

"Time to go," said Coral.

So we thanked Charlie and we got back into the pink submarine.

But the submarine let out a splutter.

And it just wouldn't go.

"Oh, bother," muttered Coral, tinkering with the engine.

"Here's the problem," she said, waving a long, rubbery strand.

"The watchamaloop is broken

"and watchamaloops are very tricky to find."

Well, Salty's whiskers started whiffling.

She nuzzled under my jumper and twanged my braces.

Ha-ha! "Good idea, Salty,

"we can use Jack's braces instead of a watchamaloop," said Coral.

And that's exactly what we did.

The braces seemed to work perfectly,

for before you could say "roughy scuttle-fish",

the submarine was whizzing through the waves again,

until it stopped and out we popped.

"And now," Coral Reef announced,

"I bring you the bravest creature under the waves."

We looked around for a huge, brave-looking beast, but, instead,

we saw a tiny red shrimp,

with a white stripe and long, white antennae.

"Myrtle, these people would like to see how brave you are," Coral said.

"No problem," said the shrimp. "Where's Marvin?"

"Here," said a big shark,

opening its huge mouth to show off its fearsome teeth.

"Here goes," said Myrtle, and she wriggled into the shark's mouth.

Salty, she covered her eyes, and then, would you believe it,

that little shrimp cleaned all the shark's sharp teeth.

Wasn't that brave?

"Ladies, gentlemen, boys, girls and dogs,"

said Coral Reef in her most teacher-like voice,

"Myrtle has been in training a long time,

"so please do not try to clean sharp shark's teeth yourself.

"It's very dangerous." We clapped so much, my hands felt numb.

"Bravo", Salty said.

The last time she had been this impressed

was when the dog-biscuit factory exploded

and it rained dog biscuits for three days.

HE LAUGHS

Anyway, it was time to go, so we thanked Myrtle

and we jumped back into the pink submarine.

But the engine let out a splutter and it just wouldn't go.

"Bother," muttered Coral, "the braces keep slipping.

"They aren't as good as a watchamaloop."

Salty's whiskers whiffled again. She was having another bright idea.

She rummaged in my bag and brought out her lead.

"Good idea, Salty,

I can use your lead instead of a watchamaloop," said Carol.

And that's what she did.

It seemed to work quite nicely, for before you could say

"scuttling spider crabs",

the submarine was whizzing through the waves,

past the sunken galleon,

where the little stripy fish swam and the jellyfish danced the cancan.

Down, down it went, down it went, until it stopped and out we popped.

It was ever so dark. We were in the deepest part of the sea.

"Presenting the underwater fireworks," Coral announced.

Then, all at once, the darkness exploded into colour.

Beautiful bright swirls

and showers of kaleidoscopic light danced in the water.

"They are fish," said Coral. "Luminous fish.

"They look just like fireworks."

"Amazing," I whooped.

Salty loved them more than everyone, of course,

because they weren't noisy like real fireworks.

It was time to get back to the Rainbow,

so we thanked the luminous fish and we jumped in the submarine.

But there was a "blop, blop, blop"

and the submarine stopped.

We had the same old problem with the engine - again.

Salty's lead wasn't as good as a real watchamaloop

and the submarine wouldn't budge.

"I'll never get the submarine working properly again,

"at this rate," said Coral Reef,

dangling the old broken watchamaloop near Salty's nose.

Salty's nostrils quivered,

for she'd smelt that unusual watchamaloop smell somewhere before.

Certainly, suddenly, she skittered off at top speed,

her nose in the air.

Skitter, skitter, skitter, until she reached the extraordinary tree

with the long, rubbery strands we'd passed earlier.

Coral looked closely at the tree.

"Well, I never," she said. "It's a watchamaloop tree!

"Bravo, Salty, now we have a new watchamaloop."

The submarine worked better than ever with its new watchamaloop. Ha.

And we were back at the Rainbow in no time at all.

"Goodbye, Coral!

"Thank you for our wonderful day," we called.

And we set off happily, our heads full of wonder.

Sailing towards the horizon, back to Staithes and home.

Yeah.

Did you like that story, Salty? All true, of course.

Mind you, my stories always are.

HE CHUCKLES

HE HUMS A TUNE

Hello. That's funny. There's nobody around, Salty.

I wonder if they managed to fix

their doobry-oobry what's-a-names.

-Ow!

-Ow!

-Ooh!

-Oh, there you are.

-Problem solved?

-Problem solved.

-We needed to just make a few...

-Fine adjustments.

-And it was fixed.

-So can I see it working?

-You certainly can.

Welcome to the 21st century.

-Welcome to the glorious future of fishmongery.

-Ta-da!

What can I get you?

-A nice piece of halibut, please.

-Good choice.

Notice I do not have to bend down.

-The fish will come up to me.

-Oh.

Sam, would you like to do the honours?

Hey! Oh!

-Oh-oh-oh.

-Oh!

-That's not good.

-We're going to have to start again.

I think fish is off the menu tonight, Salty,

so I'm going to head over to the Mermaid

and see what Captain Periwinkle can rustle up.

-Goodbye, you two. Yes.

-BOTH: Bye, Jack.

Good luck. Oh, dear.

-Sam! I thought you said you'd fixed it.

-I did. Come on.