The Enormous Sea Beanstalk Old Jack's Boat

JACK CHUCKLES

And a good day to you.

# This is the place to be

# For Salty Dog and me

# Down by the harbour we'll be there

# Round every corner there's something to share

# Give us a cheer Our friends are here

# Just Salty Dog and me. #

Ha, ha! Come on, Salty!

# This is the place to meet

# Down at the end of the street

# Seagulls flying up in the blue

# There's always a cup of tea waiting for you

# Out in the sun Having some fun

# Just Salty Dog and me

# Haul away, haul away

# Sing a song of the sea

# Hoist the sail

# I'll tell you a tale

# Of Salty Dog and me

# This is the place to go

# And these are the people we know... #

# The village is busy with things to see

# And there's the Rainbow down by the quay!

# There's stories to tell Join us as well

-# Just Salty Dog and me. #

-PHONE RINGS

-HE HUMS TO HIMSELF

-Hah!

You know, Salty,

I think today would be a good day for visiting Emily.

-What do you think, eh?

-SQUEAK!

-What was that? Oh...

-SQUEAK-SQUEAK!

Why do you have to bring that squeaky toy with you?

-SQUEAK-SQUEAK!

-It's very annoying, you know.

SQUEAK-SQUEAK!

-GULL SQUAWKS

-And you see that?

You're frightening the seagulls. Poor thing. Sorry, Mr Seagull!

-She didn't mean it.

-SQUEAK-SQUEAK!

Thank you for the tea, Captain Periwinkle.

See you soon.

-JACK CHUCKLES

-Greetings, Miss Bowline-Hitch.

Hello, Jack. How's Salty getting on with her squeaky?

SQUEAK!

-GULL SQUAWKS Ooh, it IS loud!

-Yeah, isn't it?

I don't suppose you've got anything you could swap for it?

-Ooh, I think I have!

-What?

-Here, a tennis ball.

-Oh, perfect! Yes.

-Good idea.

-SQUEAK!

Let's swap. You love a tennis ball, don't you, girl?

-The perfect swap.

-Yeah!

Thank you, Miss Bowline-Hitch, we'll see you later.

-Hah, bit of a push, there.

-BELL RINGS

Well, we've solved the squeaky problem, Salty. Back to the Rainbow.

-HE CHUCKLES

-I'm so pleased about that!

Come along, Squeaky Dog.

There she is. The Rainbow.

But what have you got for us today, me dear?

WHISTLE BLOWS

Come on, Salty.

HE HUMS TO HIMSELF

Here we are.

Yeah! That's right, Salty.

You settle yourself down there.

That was a good swap, that was, wasn't it?

That squeaky toy for a tennis ball.

You know, the last time I made a swap like that,

it all went wrong for a while.

Do you remember?

Let me get myself comfortable, and I'll tell you the story.

This will whiffle your whiskers, girl.

Once upon a twinkly time, we set off from Staithes,

waved goodbye to Whitby, and disappeared over the horizon.

# Just Salty Dog and me... #

-WHISTLE BLOWS

-# Upon the briny sea

# Sailing off without a care

# We'll find an adventure any-old-where

# We don't have a plan

# We're as happy as clams

# Just Salty Dog and me. #

WHISTLE BLOWS

Now, Salty and I never set sail without our packed lunches.

Salty likes biscuit bones,

and I usually have cheese and tomato sandwiches

with a sprinkling of black pepper, but on this particular day,

I don't know, I felt like something different.

Well, just then, who should appear but Kitty Cutlass,

the trickiest pirate ever to sail the seas.

"Ha-ha, hello, me old diamonds!" said she.

"Want to swap packed lunches?"

And she waved her lunchbox at us like it was a little treasure chest.

"I have cheese and tomato sandwiches in mine," I said.

"What's in yours?"

"Something different." said Kitty, mysteriously.

"Oh!" I thought. "I like the sound of that."

So, we swapped.

Kitty Cutlass let out a "Woo-hoo-hoo!"

and before you could say "befuddling bamboozlers",

she'd sailed off.

"Right, Salty, my girl," I said,

"let's see what tasty lunch we have here." Hah!

I opened up the lunchbox and we peered inside, and what did we see?

Nothing but dried beans. Hundreds of them.

Not a sandwich in sight.

Kitty Cutlass had tricked us yet again.

"I'm not a dried bean sort of a dog," Salty snorted.

Unfortunately, it was a big snort, and with a "whoomph!"

all of the beans flew over the side of the boat.

Almost immediately, from deep down below,

we heard a "boom-baum, boom-baum, schlup!"

A huge plant burst out of the sea, showering us with salty spray.

Ooh, it was an amazing twisty thing with enormous colourful leaves

that pointed downwards to the bottom of the ocean.

"What a strange, magnificent plant!" I said.

"That looks like an enormous sea beanstalk."

And there's only one thing to do with one of them!

Climb down the pointy leaves to the bottom of the ocean.

So, before you could say "haggling haddocks",

we were under the ocean.

We hadn't climbed down for long when we met Mr and Mrs Cod.

"Do you know what's at the bottom

"of this enormous sea beanstalk?" I asked.

"Tell them, Harold," said Mrs Cod.

"Yes, dear," said Mr Cod.

"We've-We've no idea," said Mrs Cod.

"Well," said I, "why don't you come with us?"

We carried on, clambering down the enormous sea beanstalk,

and before long a whole crowd of sea creatures were following us.

Down and down the enormous sea beanstalk we went,

to see what we could find at the bottom.

"I think we've made it, Salty," said I,

as I stepped onto the seabed.

"Oh, whoa!" we all exclaimed.

Before us was an enormous underwater castle with twinkling turrets

and beautiful spires.

But there was something odd about the castle.

We knocked at the huge, wooden castle door.

KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK

And the door swung open.

Inside was a grand banqueting room with a huge table all set out

with giant-size knives and forks and plates,

and giant-size candlesticks.

But there were no people at the table,

and there was no food on the plates.

And suddenly... we heard a very sad sound.

HE SOBS

Somebody was sobbing very loudly.

Salty's ears pricked up.

It seemed to be coming from under the table.

Salty and I took a peek, and shiver me timbers!

What did we see but a giant the size of a small mountain,

all squidged up under the table.

He stared at us with big, sad eyes, and a tear rolled down his cheek.

"Hello!" says I. "You all right under there?"

The giant looked at us in amazement. "Visitors!" he cried.

Then he squeezed his enormous body out from under the table.

"Agh!"

POP!

Pop!

"Whatever's the matter?" I asked the giant.

"I'm lonely," sniffled the giant.

"I live in a forgotten castle in the middle of who knows where,

"and no-one ever comes to visit me."

HE SOBS

"Well, don't be sad," I said.

"A magic sea beanstalk has just grown up outside your castle."

"Has it?" said the giant, sadly. "Will that help me?"

"Oh, yes," I replied, "everyone loves an enormous sea beanstalk!"

"Really?" said the giant." "That's excellent news."

And then Salty's whiskers whiffled.

She remembered all the sea creatures who were waiting outside.

"We have lots of friends with us," she said.

Yes, you did. Yes. "I'm sure they'd like to come and visit."

"Oh, that would be splendid!" said the giant."

And he chuckled happily, didn't he?

So, Salty fetched all the sea creatures,

and they crowded round the giant's table.

"Oh, help yourself to lunch!" boomed the giant.

"But there isn't any food," Salty whispered,

staring at the empty plates.

HE CHUCKLES

"Ooh, silly me!" said the giant,

and he waggled his enormous thumbs.

As if by magic - which it was - food appeared on all the plates,

and dog biscuits for Salty, too.

"Oh, it's very nice here, isn't it, Harold?" said Mrs Cod."

"Yes, dear," said Mr Cod.

"Stay as long as you like," said the giant, happily.

"Er, and I'd love to look at your wonderful garden,"

said the gardener fish.

"Oh, I must show you my sea cabbages!" said the giant.

"Now that we know you're here,

"you'll never be lonely again," I told the giant.

"Oh, splendid!" he shouted.

"Yes, everyone's welcome!"

Well, soon it was time for Salty and I to get back to the Rainbow.

So, we waved goodbye to the giant

and left him to natter with his new friends.

"Well, Salty," I said, when we were safely back on board the Rainbow,

"we had a lovely adventure today.

"And it was all thanks to Kitty Cutlass's beans.

"Hah! Who would've thought it?"

And with that, we set sail for Staithes and home.

Did you like that story, Salty?

All true, of course.

Mind you, my stories always are.

HE CHUCKLES

Come on, girl.

HE HUMS TO HIMSELF

Come along, girl.

No! Leave it!

-Hello!

-Back!

That's Emily.

-What's going on?

-Back! Leave it!

-Come on, Salty.

-Back!

-GULL SQUAWKS

-Back, all of you!

-Whoa, whoa!

-Is there a problem, Emily?

-Ooh, I'll say.

-It's my popcorn.

-Yeah?

Those naughty seagulls won't leave it alone.

I've tried everything to scare them away.

SALTY BARKS

Even Salty's barking won't get rid of them.

No, no, I think she's trying to tell me something.

Is it the tennis ball you want, eh? Is it...? Oh! Hey!

-I did...

-What's all that about?

Do you know, I've no idea.

Oh, dear.

BELL RINGS

Ooh! Hello, Salty.

You look busy-busy!

Oh, I know what you want.

You want your old squeaky back, don't you?

Here. Swapsie.

Hm!

SQUEAK-SQUEAK!

Oh, it's always the popcorn with you lot, isn't it?

-Always the popcorn!

-SQUEAK-SQUEAK!

Go on, Salty! Oh, you've got your squeaky toy again!

Honestly - can't you see we're busy? Honestly!

SQUEAK!

-GULLS SQUAWK

-Oh, look!

-SQUEAK!

-Salty, you've done it!

-You've got rid of those naughty seagulls!

-Yeah!

-Clever dog!

-Yeah, you swapped it for the tennis ball,

-didn't you, girl, eh?

-Looks like you're stuck with that squeaky

-for the rest of the day, Jack!

-Yeah!

Listen, we'd better stay here and help you guard the popcorn.

-Can we have a bit, please?

-Oh, you're as bad as the seagulls!

Oh, I just want a bit! Look at that!

Oh, lovely!