The Flying Badge Old Jack's Boat

SHIP'S HORN

GULL SCREECHES

FLY BUZZES

HE CHUCKLES

And good day to you.

# This is the place to be

# For Salty Dog and me

# Down by the harbour we'll be there

# Around every corner there's something to share

# Give us a cheer our friends are here

# Just Salty Dog and me

-HE LAUGHS

-Come on, Salty.

# This is the place to meet Down at the end of the street

# Seagulls flying up in the blue

# There's always a cup of tea waiting for you

# Out in the sun having some fun

# Just Salty Dog and me

# Haul away, haul away, sing the song of the sea

# Hoist the sail, I'll tell you a tale of Salty Dog and me

# This is the place to go

# And these are the people we know

# The village is busy with things to see

# And there's The Rainbow down by the quay

# There's stories to tell, join us as well

# Just Salty dog and me. #

PHONE RINGS

GULLS SCREECH

HE HUMS

CLATTERING

-Did you hear a noise, Salty?

-CLATTERING

I think it's coming from Sam and Ernie's shed.

Come on, we'll find out what's going on. Come on, girl.

Come on. Don't be frightened.

-Good morning!

-Morning, Jack.

-Morning, Jack.

What's all this kerfuffle about then?

We're looking for the tape measure.

What the one you lent to Miss Bowline-Hitch, you mean?

-So that's where it went.

-SHE LAUGHS

Sam is making me a really big and useful box

-to keep all my fishing stuff in.

-Oh.

But a job like this is no good without a tape measure.

Never mind, Ernie, we don't need it.

-I'm an experienced professional, all I need is the plans.

-Ah.

Ah. Er...no plans?

-No.

-Not to worry, an experienced professional like me

-doesn't need plans.

-Oh, I don't think I like the look that.

-Do you, Salty?

-Leave this to me, Ernie.

Yes, well, I think we'll leave both of you to it if that's all right?

Come on, Salty, let's get back to The Rainbow.

-See you later, Jack.

-Bye-bye.

-Pass us that screwdriver.

CLATTERING

There she is... The Rainbow!

Well, what have you got for us today, my dear?

HORN

-HE LAUGHS

-Come on, Salty.

HE HUMS

There we are.

HORN

Yeah, good girl, Salty. You settle down. Good girl.

Well, what about that kerfuffle with Sam and Ernie, eh?

HE SIGHS

Do you remember that time I thought

we could do without something we really needed, Salty?

The Map! We need the map to know where we're going.

Oh, we got in a right pickle that day and no mistake.

-HE SIGHS

-Let me get comfortable

and I'll tell you the whole story.

Once upon a twinkly time, The Rainbow set off from Staithes,

waved goodbye to Whitby and disappeared over the horizon.

I had lent my map to a pal of mine.

Now, we usually never leave port without it,

but it was such a lovely day

I convinced Salty that we should set sail.

And I began to sing.

# Just Salty Dog and me

# Upon the briny sea

# We've got no map but that's OK

# It's a beautiful, wonderful sunny day

# We're bowling along and singing this song

# Just Salty Dog me. #

-HE LAUGHS

-Well, we hadn't got very far

when it got very cold and very foggy.

Salty had that

you-should-have-brought-the-map look in her eye.

And she was right.

"We're lost," I exclaimed.

"Found you," said a squeaky voice.

"Can I get a badge for that?"

HE LAUGHS

It was our old friend Penguin on an iceberg.

"You're near the South Pole," said Penguin.

Well, I'd quite forgotten that Penguin

was a member of the 123rd South Pole Rangers.

He had a badge for everything.

"And now I'm going to get one for flying," he said

"Ah," said Salty.

"Penguin," I asked, "can you fly?"

"No," he said, "but I'm trying and then I can get a badge for it."

"Look."

And he held up his Rangers handbook

and turned to the page that said "flying badge."

"To be awarded a flying badge," it said,

"Rangers must go as far as the blue-tipped iceberg

by flapping their wings and not touching the ground, not once."

Well, we all looked at the blue-tipped iceberg.

It was a very long way away.

Penguin flapped his slippery wings.

"I can do it," he said.

And he flapped...and he flapped...

and he hopped and he hopped and he flapped and he flapped again.

"Am I at the blue-tipped iceberg yet," Penguin puffed.

Salty put a paw over her eyes and shook her head.

"Ohh," said the disappointed Penguin

and he sat down...right beside The Rainbow.

Beside The Rainbow? How's that possible?

Salty and I looked over the side.

The sea had completely frozen over.

The Rainbow was stuck in the ice.

"I can help," said Penguin.

And he pecked away at the ice.

Will... Peck! ..I get... Peck!

..a badge... Peck! ..for this?

Salty wasn't sure.

Penguin had only managed to peck a teensy hole

and his beak was looking a little skew-whiff.

"Thank you," I said, "but I think we need something hot to melt the ice."

"We'll have to wait until summer when the sun comes out."

Well, Salty didn't want to wait until summer,

she'd planned a trip to Saltburn and wanted to get home soon.

And that's when her whiskers started wiffling.

She was having one of her ideas.

"Thelma the Dragon!" she woofed.

"She can melt the ice with her hot, fiery breath."

"Good thinking," I said. "Get the Dragon Whistle."

"I can't find it," woofed Salty.

"It's tied to the edge of the map," I said.

And then I remembered, we didn't have the map either.

Salty had that

you-should-have-brought-the-map look in her eye.

"How are we going to get Thelma now?" I said.

And then Salty's whiskers started to wiffle,

she was having another one

-of her bright ideas.

-SALTY BARKS

"The Rainbow!"

"We can send Thelma a signal using smoke from the funnel," she said.

"She'll never see it," I said.

"I know," said Penguin suddenly, "I'll get Thelma for you!"

"But it's a very, very long way,"

I shouted to Penguin as he dived through the ice.

"It's all right, I might get a badge for this!"

And he was off!

"I hope he'll be OK," I said to Salty

as we watched him go all the way

to just past the blue-tipped iceberg and then...

-we couldn't see him many more.

-HE SIGHS

Suddenly, Salty spotted a pink dot in the distance.

When it was just past the blue-tipped iceberg,

we could see...

it was Thelma!

Below in the water...there was Penguin

flapping his wings and flying through the water.

"I said I'd beat you back, Thelma,"

he shouted as he shot out onto the ice.

"Only just though," Thelma replied

as she landed on top of The Rainbow's funnel.

"Spot of bother, Jack?"

"Nothing you can't solve," I said.

And, in an instant, she had melted the ice with her hot, fiery breath

and The Rainbow...was free.

"Thank you, Thelma," I said.

"And thank you, Penguin."

"That's all right," said Penguin.

"Do I get a badge for that?"

So I looked on every page of the Penguin Rangers Handbook,

but try as I might I just couldn't find

a going to Smoulder Island to get Thelma badge.

"Never mind," Penguin said with a woeful waddle,

"the flying badge is the one I really want anyway."

Then Salty pointed to the page about the flying badge.

"To be awarded a flying badge," it said,

"Rangers must go as far as the blue-tipped iceberg

"by flapping their wings and not touching the ground, not once."

Well, Penguin had gone further than the blue-tipped iceberg

by flapping his wings and he didn't touch the ground, not once,

he had flown all the way... underwater!

"You can have your flying badge after all. Hooray!"

HE LAUGHS

"I can?" he stuttered, turning a little bit pink.

-"Wow! Thank you!"

-HE LAUGHS

And we'll cheered and gave him a big hooray

whilst he gave the 123rd South Pole Rangers' salute.

"Well, we'd best be off before this ice freezes," I said.

But then...I remembered, we were lost.

We didn't have the map.

"I know the way," said Thelma.

So we said goodbye to Penguin

and followed Thelma all the way

-back to Staithes and home.

-HORN

And after that, we never left port without the map again.

Salty made sure of that, didn't you, eh? Ha-ha!

HORN

Did you like that story, Salty?

All true, of course.

Mind you, my stories always are.

It's a lot quieter in the workshop, Salty.

Come on, I wonder if Sam's finished

building that trunk for Ernie's fishing gear.

Let's go and have a look.

Ernie, are you all right?

-I'm fine!

-Oh.

-Sam's told me to close my eyes,

she's got a surprise for me.

-She's finished my trunk.

-Oh!

All finished. You can take a look.

Ooh!

That's amazing!

Perfect for my fishing stuff! Perfect!

It looks more like a cupboard than I imagined it would.

Well, that's because it is a cupboard.

-Your trunks inside.

-Oh! HE LAUGHS

This?! It's a bit...small.

I told you it would be a surprise.

You see, that's what comes from having no plans and no tape measure.

Sorry, Ernie.

Do you know what, Sam, this cupboard would be perfect

for my fishing stuff.

Why don't we just clear it out

and forget about building enormous trunks?

-Good idea.

-Yeah, that's the spirit.

And I know just what we can put in there.

Dog biscuits! Perfect for Salty. Yeah.

See you later, Sam. Bye, Ernie.

-See you later.

-Bye, Jack.

ERNIE SIGHS

Well, Salty, that's it for today.

We'll see all our friends again next time.

Oh...and we'll see you next time as well.

Bye-bye. Come on, girl.