Postman Pat and the Incredible Inventions Postman Pat

# Postman Pat, Postman Pat Postman Pat

# And his black-and-white cat

# Early in the morning

# Just as day is dawning

# He picks up all the postbags in his van

# Postman Pat, Postman Pat Postman Pat

# And his black-and-white cat

# All the birds are singing

# And the day is just beginning

# Pat feels he's a really happy man

# Everybody knows

# His bright red van

# All his friends will smile

# As he waves to greet them

# Maybe - you can never be sure

# There'll be knock, ring

# Letters through your door

# Postman Pat, Postman Pat Postman Pat

# And his black-and-white cat

# All the birds are singing

# And the day is just beginning

# Pat feels he's a really happy man

# Pat feels he's a really happy man

# Pat feels he's a really happy man. #

Miaow!

It's no good, love. I can't mend the water pipe.

Oh, no! This leak is getting worse and worse.

I think it's great!

I'm going to call Ted. Perhaps he can fix it.

There, the Ted Glen, fully-automated, get-you-up machine.

I'll never sleep through my alarm again.

WHISTLING AND RINGING

Ooh! Ow! Ooh!

Marvellous!

PHONE RINGS

Hey-up, who's that?

-Hello.

-Ted, it's Pat.

-Oh!

-Er, we've got a burst water pipe.

Don't worry. I'll be over straightaway.

Don't worry, love. If anybody can fix this, Ted can.

I think it's fun. I like having breakfast in the rain.

Miaow!

JESS WHINES

That's the water turned off, but it's a big job, I'm afraid.

It'll take a while to mend.

Oh, dear! What are we going to do in the meantime?

Well, we can't stay here, not with the water off.

And everything soaking wet.

We could stay with my sister in Pencaster, I suppose.

But what about school?

And delivering the post.

Well, you could always come and stay with me.

Wow! Can we, Mum?

-Well, we...

-..don't want to trouble you.

-Oh, please, please, please!

-It would be so cool to stay at the water mill.

-Hmm!

-Hmm!

Now then, Pat can have the hammock.

Sara can have the couch...

And I'll have the camp bed!

-What about you, Ted?

-Oh, don't worry about me.

I'll bed down in one of the outhouses. Now then...

What does this do, Ted?

That? It's one of my new inventions -

-the Ted Glen, fully-mechanised, auto cat basket.

-Wow!

How does it work?

First, you put your cat in...

-Miaow!

-Like so.

..then you decide what time you want him to get up in the morning...

..and off you go.

Miaow!

JESS SQUEALS

JESS WHINES

Erm, perhaps it needs a bit more work.

Shall we get some firewood in?

Miaow!

It's very good of you to put us up like this, Ted.

That's all right, Pat. I could do with the company.

It must get a bit lonely up here all on your own.

I can't complain.

I've got the mill and all my inventions to keep me busy.

The Ted Glen, fully-automated cooking machine.

First, place the sausages in the frying pan.

Next, take the beans...

Miaow!

Miaow!

Ah, right, now you...

Hang on. What's happened to the sausages?

Miaow!

-I definitely put them in.

-Oh, well.

Now for the eggs.

Miaow!

Miaow!

Mum!

Look out!

-Hello, you two.

-How are you getting on with my cooking mach...?

Oh, dear!

SNORING

OWL HOOTS

Pat?

Hmm?

-Are you asleep?

-No, not any more, love, no.

Sorry. It's just... Well, I hate to sound ungrateful,

but I'm not too keen on Ted's funny inventions.

I know what you mean, love.

Still, at least we're safe in bed. They can't get to us here.

WHISTLING AND RINGING

-Oh!

-What?

-What's happening?

RINGING CONTINUES

-Oh!

-Oof!

Oh, dear!

Oh! I didn't realise how much I'd miss my old hammock.

-DOOR OPENS

-Morning, Ted.

I got up early to do a bit of a spring-clean. What do you think?

Er, I, er, well, I...

-PAT YAWNS

-Morning, Ted.

Morning, Pat. You all right?

-He didn't get much sleep last night.

-Him and me both.

Your get-you-up machine kept getting me up...

every five minutes.

Oh, er, I'm sorry.

Right, who's next in line for the bathroom?

-Oh, thanks, Sara, I'll just...

-Me!

Oh, dear!

JESS YOWLS

Sorry, Jess. I didn't see you there.

I'm not used to all this company.

Hello, Charlie. Come to see Julian?

Yeah, that's right. I heard you were staying here. You're so lucky!

All these inventions and machines!

-We're starting Ted's new washing machine invention, Charlie.

-Wow!

-You can stay and watch if you like.

-Oh, thanks, Mrs Clifton!

Right, that's the clothes.

What now?

We fill her up.

Pat, if you can hang that bucket on that hook.

Right you are, Ted.

Miaow!

Whoever would have thought doing the washing could be such fun?!

Here she comes.

Just guide her in now.

That's grand.

Right then, I'll get off and fix that pipe of yours.

OK, Ted, thanks. Bye.

Miaow!

-Oh!

-SARA LAUGHS

Morning, Arthur.

Morning, Ted. I hear you've got company down at the water mill.

That's right. It's not going too well, though.

-Why's that, Ted?

-I don't know.

I suppose I'm not used to having other folk around.

Been living on your own too long, Ted.

And that's the way I like it,

so the sooner I get Pat's house fixed up, the better.

Right, that's all the water, now for the soap.

Oh, I do hope we can go home soon, Pat.

I've seen enough of Ted's inventions to last me a lifetime.

-Mind your backs, please, inventors coming through.

-What are you up to?

We're making an invention, Mr Clifton. It's like one of Ted's.

Replace damaged pipe,

mend ceiling,

-repaint...

-Sounds like a big job, Ted.

I'll give you a hand if you like. I'm off duty in a few minutes.

Thanks, Arthur. It'll still take time.

Pity we can't get a third man.

Hello.

# If you need a job done

# Call him up, he's the one

# Find the workshop and then

# You'll get help from Ted Glen

# Let's get help from Ted Glen

# Doo-doo-doo-doo! Ted Glen!

# Doo-doo-doo-doo! Ted Glen! #

Oh, no! Oh, I can't stay here one moment longer.

-Just look at your trousers!

-What about our invention?

We haven't finished it yet.

-I'm sorry, Julian, but Mum's right. Come on, Jess.

-Miaow!

-Where are you going?

-To tell Ted we're leaving.

There, all done. Nice work, lads.

-Oh-h!

-What's up, Ted?

-I thought you were looking forward to having your place to yourself.

-I am.

I'm just worried about Pat and Sara.

They're going to be so disappointed

when they hear they've got to move out.

They seem to be enjoying living at my house.

Hello!

That'll be Pat.

Ooh, 'eck!

Hello, everyone.

My, you've done a grand job.

You can move back in straightaway.

Wow, Ted, that's absolutely fan...!

I mean, that's great, Ted.

You must have worked very hard all of you.

You're not too disappointed.

No, no, I'm very grateful, but what about you, Ted?

Won't you be lonely without us around?

Don't worry about me, Pat. I'll be OK.

Come on, then. Let's go and give Sara the news.

-What? Oh, but that's...

-PAT COUGHS

..very disappointing that we have to leave Ted's wonderful house,

but we'll be glad to go home, of course.

Can't we stay a bit longer, please?

ALL: No. BOYS SIGH

Ted's put up with us for long enough, Julian.

But we've...we've just finished his present.

What?

-They've been working on it all day.

-It's to say thank you for having us.

Ta-da!

It's an invention, Ted, like one of yours.

Ooh, I... Well, I don't know what to say.

What does it do, Charlie?

It controls all the other machines in the place.

Watch!

WHISTLING AND RINGING

Julian!

Turn it off quick, quick!

Oh, Ted, I'm so sorry.

We'll tidy up before we go.

No, no, you're all right. I like it like this, actually.

It feels more like...more like home.

Hey.

# Postman, Postman Pat

# Can you guess what's in his bag?

-# Is there a letter? #

-Miaow!

-# Is there a parcel? #

-Miaow!

-# Is there a postcard? #

-Miaow!

# What's left? Jess the cat?

# Postman, Postman Pat

# Can you guess what's in his bag? #

Miaow!