Pootle All the Way Q Pootle 5


Pootle All the Way

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Transcript


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BEEPING

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-SAT-NAV:

-'At the next meteor, turn right.'

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Oooohhhhhhh!

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I think it'll only hold six sausages.

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Ready?

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Ready.

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Ta-da!

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Good job, Bud-D!

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-The shack looks beautiful, Groobie.

-Yes.

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I think it's going to be our best Christmas ever.

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Absolutey-tooty. With tinsel!

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Now, let's go over the arrangements one last time.

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There's no need to worry.

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You put me in charge of the catering and I won't let you down.

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I'm doing a full roast dinner,

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followed by Christmas pudding, custard, trifle and cheese.

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Cheese? Excellent. Ha-ha.

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Now, I need to get ready for the big dress rehearsal.

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This Christmas panto, what I wrote, is my finest effort yet.

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Even better than last year's Snow White And The Seven

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Billy Goats Gruff And Their Enchanted Trombone?

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Oh, much better!

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This new show has everything - excitement, jokes, songs...

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The only thing it doesn't have is any actors.

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Where is everyone?

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Ooh! I can't wait for Christmas, Pootle!

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I know. It's going to be great!

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Do you think it will snow this year?

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I hope so!

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Oh, I hope so too.

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There, now we've made cards for everyone.

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Oooh!

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Who's this one for?

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-Errr....

-Hmmm...

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THEY GASP

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BOTH: Planet Dave!

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Of course!

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Ha-ha! A big card for a big planet!

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Let's go and deliver it before Groobie's rehearsal. Come on.

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Hello, Planet Dave!

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Oh. Hello, Pootle. Hello, Oopsy.

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Are you looking for something?

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I'm just waiting for my friend, Planet Roger, to arrive.

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Is he coming to stay for Christmas?

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Yes, he is. I haven't seen him for 600 years.

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He's quite a character, Planet Roger.

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HE CHUCKLES

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We made you a card, Planet Dave, to wish you a Happy Christmas.

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Ohh! Happy Christmas!

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It can go next to the card I got from Planet Janet.

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I'm sorry we can't stay and chat, Planet Dave,

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but we need to get back and rehearse.

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Well, it's been lovely seeing you both.

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-And thank you for the card.

-Bye, Planet Dave!

-Bye!

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Bye!

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Now, where is Planet Roger?

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< All right, Planet Dave!

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Ho-ah! Planet Roger?

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Ha-ha-ha! Over here, Planet Dave!

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I thought I'd give you a little surprise.

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Oh! Ha-ha-ha! You're such a joker.

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Great to see you, man.

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I tell you what, we are

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going to have ourselves a real cracker of a Christmas.

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THEY LAUGH Cracker!

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THEY LAUGH

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Oh, yes. Most atmospheric.

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Sets the scene very nicely.

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Oh, Groobie. Your shack looks beautiful.

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What a lovely Christmas tree, oh and all those pretty lights!

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Look at that reindeer up there! Did you make that?

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I did actually, Stella.

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I welded it together out of old rocket motors and bits

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and pieces of scrap from the back yard.

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It's marvellous. Isn't it, Ray?

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RAY CAWS

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I've made some festive bunting. Would you like me to string it up?

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Uh, not now, Eddi. We really need to get started.

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Now, let's get into our costumes and get cracking.

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Sorry we're late. We were delivering a card to Planet Dave.

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Ooh. That's nice.

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Have you seen Groobie's reindeer up there?

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Wow! It's brilliant.

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He made it out of old rocket motors.

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Excuse me, everyone! We are here to rehearse.

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Scene three. Actors to the stage.

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Oh. That's me.

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And...

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Action!

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Here am I, a simple woodcutter,

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in the middle of the deep, dark forest.

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And only the twittering of the birds to keep me company.

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-Bud-D!

-Oh! Er...erm...

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LOUD MOO

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Er...

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HORN BEEPS

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BOING FROM CLOCK

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HORSE HOOVES

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HORSE WHINNIES

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Ah!

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BIRDS TWEET

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But, hark! Who comes here?

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There's somebody else in this deep, dark forest.

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The trees grow so close together I can hardly pass through them.

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-It's very good, isn't it?

-Gripping.

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Shhhhhh!

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Good morrow, young lady. I am a simple woodcutter.

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And I am a beautiful princess, out for a walk with my faithful cat.

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Oh! Ha! That's me, isn't it? Sorry.

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What's my line again?

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Er...

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Meow.

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Oh, yes.

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Meow.

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Hello, Princess. Hello, Faithful Cat.

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You really shouldn't be out here in this deep, dark forest.

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It's very dangerous what with the Big Bad Wolf, the Wicked Witch

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and the...giant fire-breathing hedgehog.

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When is it my turn, Groobie?

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You're the ugly sisters, Eddi. You don't appear until

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the underwater scene on board the submarine.

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Oh. Right. Carry on.

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ON RADIO: 'Mayday! Mayday! Is there anybody out there?'

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I don't remember this bit.

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'My spaceship is out of control. I need help.'

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That's a distress call. Someone's in trouble. Come on, Oopsy.

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-Ooh!

-But the show!

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We haven't rehearsed the big musical finale!

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Sorry, Groobie.

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Mouldy meteors. Now what do we do?

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PING

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Oooh! Trifle anyone?

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Ha-ha-ha. So what have you been up to since the last time we met?

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Oh, you know, this and that.

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I bumped into Planet Janet a few months back.

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Oh, dear, I hope you didn't sustain any major damage.

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She was hogging me orbit, man.

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THEY LAUGH

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-Hi, Planet Dave. Have you seen...?

-Pootle! Oopsy!

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Meet my very good friend, Planet Roger.

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-Hello, Planet Roger.

-Hiya!

-All right, pal! All right, pet!

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Great to meet you, Planet Roger.

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We had a distress call from a spaceship out of control.

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Have you seen anyone in trouble?

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No. We haven't seen anything.

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I'm sure the signal was coming from this direction.

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Ah!

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ALL: Whoa!

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What was that?

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I think we've just found your busted spaceship.

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-Come on, Oopsy.

-Bye!

-Byeee!

-See ya!

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So come on then, Planet Dave,

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-what sort of festive fun have you got for us?

-Oh.

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They're in trouble, Pootle.

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Don't worry, Oopsy, we'll catch them.

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Come on, Pootle!

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Whoa!

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Where have Pootle and Oopsy got to?

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Don't worry, Groobie. I'm sure they'll be back soon.

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We haven't even practised the song yet.

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LOUD WHOOSH

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Spluttering spaceships! What was that?

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Hello! Help, everyone! We need help!

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Erm, right, OK.

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Well, don't just stand there. Come on!

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What about the show?

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Wait! Bud-D?

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Emergency! Emergency!

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Er, wait for me!

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WHOOSHING AND RUMBLING

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LOUD CRASH

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-SAT-NAV:

-'You have arrived at your destination.'

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COUGHING

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Are you all right?

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HE COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS

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(Is that...?)

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(It looks like him.)

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It is him!

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Father Christmas?

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Yes.

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It's Father Christmas!

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Father Christmas!

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THEY LAUGH

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Yay, Pootle, yay!

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Father Christmas is here! Father Christmas! Ha-ha-ha!

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It really is you!

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Ho-ho, well, I think so.

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Now, you must be Q Pootle 5?

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That's right!

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You must be Oopsy.

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-GASPING:

-Wow, you know my name!

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SHE GIGGLES

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This is amazing!

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Are you all right?

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Yes, I'm fine, thank you.

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But I think my spaceship might need fixing.

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Erm, where are your reindeer?

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That's a very good question, Oopsy.

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You know, I was feeding them just the other day and I said,

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"Every Christmas you work so hard that this year you deserve a rest."

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So, I've given them the day off!

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And instead, I am flying this!

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The Galacto 12,000 XXL rocket sleigh!

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Which is not working.

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Oh, dear. Well, don't worry. We can fix it, can't we, Pootle?

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I'm sure we can. We just need to take it back to Groobie's.

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He's got all sorts of spare parts.

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And while it's being fixed, you can have a delicious

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Tinselberry smoothie.

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Oh, that's very kind of you.

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There's nothing I'd like more now than a delicious smoothie!

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-CREAKING

-No!

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-Oh, no!

-Father Christmas!

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Heeeelp!

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Don't worry! We'll get help.

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Oo-er.

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Who is it?

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It looks like...

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Father Christmas!

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Father Christmas?

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Father Christmas?!

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RAY CAWS

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Heeeelp!

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-Eddi, give me your bunting.

-What?

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We have to pull him back up.

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When I say, I need you all to pull as hard as you can.

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-Where are you going, Pootle?

-Down there.

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Oof.

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Help!

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All right! Pull!

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ALL GRUNTING

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-Ooohh!

-I'm coming down!

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-SAT-NAV:

-'Where possible, make a U-turn.'

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GRUNTING AND GROANING

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Are you all right?

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No. Not really!

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Whooaaaa!

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-ALL: Oohh!

-Quick, Bud-D! Tie the bunting around something!

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Oh! Erm. Errrr.

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Um. Errrr.

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Oohhh! Mmm. Errr.

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Ah-ha!

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Perfect!

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Give me your hand!

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I can't reach!

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ALL GRUNTING

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Ah!

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Bud-D! Tie it to something else!

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Something heavy!

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Er? Something heavy? Oh, dear!

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PING

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Anyone for stuffing?

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-Bud-D! Quick!

-We can't hold on any longer!

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Oooh! Good idea!

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-RAY CAWS

-Done it!

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BOING Whoa! Aaarrgghhhhh! Whoa!

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Oohhh!

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Help!

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-SHE GASPS

-Start pulling, Groobie!

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-CREAKING

-Come on!

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Whoaaa! Ooohhhh. I'm slipping!

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Oopsy! Hurry!

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Come on, Groobie!

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Nearly there!

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THEY SCREAM

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-Where's Pootle and Father Christmas?

-Where's Oopsy?

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Look!

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ALL: Hooray!

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Well done, Oopsy!

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Yes. Thank you, Oopsy.

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Now how about that smoothie?

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THEY LAUGH

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-PING

-Ooh! Sprout?

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Oh, er, no, thank you, Bud-D.

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RAY GULPS

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Hmmm.

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The fusion manifold's cracked and the drive train's damaged.

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And I'm afraid it looks like the fuel cells were ruptured when you landed.

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Ooh. What does that mean?

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It's broken.

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If I can't fly my sleigh, the children won't get any presents.

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Oh, dear! Oh, dear! What are we going to do?

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Ah. Well that's where you're in luck!

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Because I think you'll find that Groobie has all the parts you need.

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Have I?

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Yes! Yes! I have!

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And you can fix my sleigh?

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It would be an honour.

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This is wonderful!

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Bud-D. Could you nip out to the back yard and fetch me

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a couple of large rocket motors, please?

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Of course!

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And you wrote the whole show?

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-Yes, I did.

-It sounds very entertaining.

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It is. And I made the hats as well.

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Ah-ha!

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Bud-D? Where are the rocket motors?

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There aren't any.

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Don't be silly. Of course there are.

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I searched the whole yard.

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There's not a single rocket motor to be found.

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But if we don't have any rocket motors,

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we can't fix Father Christmas's sleigh.

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And if we can't fix the sleigh, he won't be

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able to deliver his presents!

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RAY SIGHS

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-Ohh.

-This is terrible!

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Oh. This is all my fault. I should never have used this rocket sleigh.

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I should have stuck with my faithful old reindeer.

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Reindeer?

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Reindeer! Groobie? That reindeer up there.

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The one you made...

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Er? Yes?

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Didn't you say you'd made it out of old rocket motors?

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Yes. That's right. Old rocket motors.

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Ohhhh. Ha-ha! Rocket motors! Yes! Yes! Father Christmas!

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We do have spare rocket motors.

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HE GROANS

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Oh!

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There we are. All done!

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Ho! Ho! Ho! Wonderful!

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Thank you all so much for helping me.

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It was our pleasure.

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Now, before I go, there's something I need to do.

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Wow! Presents! For us?

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Oh, thank you!

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Thank you!

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Oh, wonderful!

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Isn't this great?

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Well...yes.

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What's the matter, Oopsy?

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I just wish...

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I just wish we had a present for you.

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Oh, that's very kind.

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But I don't need a present.

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Wait! There is something we can give you!

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# It's my favourite time of the year

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# Everyone's full of good cheer

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# There's beautiful lights that twinkle and glow

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# Presents to wrap with a ribbon or bow

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# If I wish very hard I think it might snow!

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ALL: # It's our favourite time of the year

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# Bells to be rung

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# Songs to be sung

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# And a long string of bunting that needs to be hung

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ALL: # Gifts round the tree for you and for me

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# We wish you a very joyful and merry

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# Christmas, everyone!

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# It's the happiest time of the year

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# All of my friends are here.

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# Roger's such fun

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# Now where did he go?

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# I'm behind you, man!

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# Here I am - peepo!

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# Oh, please let it, please let it

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# Please let it snow

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ALL: # It's our happiest time of the year

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# Bells to be rung Songs to be sung

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# And the tastiest food that's a treat for your tongue

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ALL: # Gifts round the tree For you and for me

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# We wish you a very joyful and merry

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# Christmas, everyone!

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# It's the friendliest time of the year

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# But I have to be going I fear. #

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ALL: Ohh!

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# Thank you so much for mending my sleigh

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# Well done, everyone You've saved Christmas Day!

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# What an end to my show Let the orchestra play!

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ALL: # It's our happiest, merriest Friendliest, jolliest

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# Favourite time of the year! #

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ALL CHEER Well done, everyone!

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THEY LAUGH

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Well, I'm afraid it really is time I was going.

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Couldn't you stay a bit longer?

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I wish I could, Eddi,

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but I've got all my presents to deliver.

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It was lovely to meet you, Father Christmas.

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And it was lovely to meet all of you.

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And thank you for rescuing me.

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That's what friends are for.

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Right then. Here we go!

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ENGINE STARTS

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ALL: Ooohh!

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ALL: Ooohh!

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-THEY CHEER

-Bye!

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ALL: Bye!

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Ho-ho-ho-ho!

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Merry Christmas!

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Pootle, look! Ha-ha!

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It's snowing!

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Ha-ha! Happy Christmas, Oopsy!

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Happy Christmas, Pootle!

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THEY LAUGH

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-It's beautiful!

-Wow!

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ALL LAUGH

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