Episode 5 Richard Hammond's Blast Lab

Thank you, thank you.

Oh...

Now that's, that's awkward.

Sorry, I must get that fixed. Hello!

CHEERING

I'm Richard and this is my Blast Lab

where I do all my top-level scientific experiments.

Talking of which, don't go near that.

Late last night I spilled some of my new super virus.

And well I think, I think, the tape will keep it in.

I say "think", it's more "hope"...

Just don't touch it.

I've got two teams to help me today and they'll be

battling it out across a series of tough games and messy experiments

to see who's got the biggest science brains.

Both teams will win prizes

but like every great experiment there's a twist.

Fail the final challenge

and they'll see their prizes go up in smoke, literally.

Let's see what's in store.

Now today's show has clashed with my SAS defence team's yoga classes.

So, they can't be here to protect the lab.

Instead my security takes the form of an old lady

who eats Ninja Turtles for breakfast.

Which has landed her in a bit of trouble with the RSPCA.

It is my Ninja Nan.

CHEERING

Nice to see the doors are working.

This is my Ninja Nan. Thanks for standing in.

She may look fragile but she's actually a trained ninja.

Yeah, deadly.

WHIPPING

You don't want to...

You don't want to make her angry. You really don't.

If you'd like to take your place in security, Nan?

Nan, Nan, Nan! If you'd... Nan, Nan.

If you'd like to take your place in security? Thank you very much.

And off she goes, speeding across the lab.

Speeding across... ah!

As a kid I used to love watching the wrestling with my nan.

Because she is one heck of a wrestler.

You should see her. Nan, how are you doing?

See if she's settled into the security zone.

Are you there yet? There she is.

Yes, she's settling in nicely.

Oh, look, she's brought her sandwiches with her. Lovely.

Nothing too chewy, I hope, mind those teeth stay in.

Let's have a look at who's trying to get into my lab.

There's a group of people claiming to be the Yellow Team.

CHEERING

Let's not get carried away

because they say they're the Yellow Team. They might not be.

Anybody tries to get in this lab. We have to be careful.

I have my security checks here.

You claim to be the Yellow Team, yeah?

-Yup.

-Tell me your names, please.

-Thomas.

-Tal.

-Efedi.

Thomas, Tal, Efedi. That checks out with the security file.

In the security file it says, for your hidden talent, Tal...

-you can speak Japanese.

-Yup.

-Can you?

Yeah. Konnichiwa. Watashi wa no namae wa Tal desu. Watashi wa...

Does anybody else here speak Japanese?

Just in case he was saying something rude to me. OK, well I believe you.

It also says body worm.

What does that mean?

It's a brakedance move.

-Is that a body worm?

-Yeah.

-Fair enough, in that case I accept.

You are the Yellow Team. You're cleared through security. Come in.

CHEERING

Welcome to Blast Lab. Nice to have you here.

-Where are you all from?

-Bishop's Stortford and we're team Try It!

-Team what?

-Try It!

That's your own name?

-Try It?

-Yeah.

-No, you're Yellow Team and that's that.

OK, let's find out if the Red Team are there.

Are the people in security claim to be... no, we can't tell yet.

They could be anybody trying to break into the Blast Lab

to find out about the top secret stuff in here.

Like my new super virus that I spilt on the floor earlier.

So, you claim to be the Red Team.

Identify yourselves. Your names, please.

-Fay.

-Alex.

-Katy.

Alex, Katy and Fay. Yeah, that figures.

OK, your hidden talent, it says...a motto.

We all go to Guides. This is our promise.

I promise that I will do my best to love my God, to save the Queen

and my country, to help other people out and to keep the Guide law.

That's the Guide's motto?

-Yeah.

-Well, you all knew it.

You are cleared through security. Come on in, you are the Red Team.

CHEERING

I'm sorry about all the security.

We can't be too careful and let just anybody in, OK?

Where are you all from?

We're from Newcastle and we're the Crash Bang Clan.

Good. Not for today, you're the Red Team.

It's time to play round one.

So, teams, make your way to the positions, please.

Away you go, get ready for round one.

When it comes to performing experiments,

I'm always a little rusty,

but not quite as rusty as this guy. It is Oliver.

Oliver loves nothing more than collecting facts

to put in his high-tech Fact Nav system.

Trouble is though,

not all the scientific facts he's collected are correct.

It's up to both our teams to decide what is true and what is false.

So, this is how it's going to work.

I'm going to ask both teams a science question.

I'm going to tell them a fact.

I'm going to tell them something scientific.

They are going to have to tell me if that fact is true or false.

If it's true, Oliver will do this.

CAR ALARM RINGS AND HORN BLOWS

And if it's false Oliver will tell us, like this.

FOG HORN SOUNDS

OK, everybody ready? You understand?

Red Team, you go first.

Here is your fact.

There are mirrors on the moon. Is that true or false?

Are there mirrors on the moon? You can have a chat, work it out.

Let's see what the audience think. What do we reckon, guys?

-False!

-False?

Nearly everybody thinking it's false there. Couple thinking it's true.

Don't let the audience sway you.

You come to your own conclusion.

-True.

-You think there are mirrors on the moon. You think it's true.

-Yes.

Oliver, tell us is it true or false?

"TRUE" HORNS BLOW

True. There are in fact mirrors on the moon.

Astronauts left them there so that laser beams

could be bounced off them from Earth.

So we could measure as accurately as possible, within a few centimetres,

the distance of the moon.

So, you're right.

They're not shaving mirrors,

but there are mirrors on the moon. Right, Yellow Team, it's your turn.

This is your science fact. Tell me if this is true or false.

There a million bacteria in a millilitre of fresh water.

A million bacteria in a millilitre of fresh water.

Have a chat, think about how much water that is.

Audience, what do we think?

There are a million bacteria in a millilitre of fresh water.

Is that true? True or false?

THE MAJORITY SHOUTS: True!

Quite a few round the back think false, the majority maybe true.

Don't let them sway you. come to your own conclusion.

-Did anybody happen to know that answer?

-No.

-No.

OK, but what do you think?

We think it's true.

Oliver, is it true or false?

"TRUE" HORNS SOUND

Yeah, it is.

Well done, it is.

Did you also know that people

can have up to 182 different types of bacteria living on their skin?

I've gone all itchy thinking about that.

Right, this is the third question. This one works a bit differently.

This time I don't want you to tell me whether it's true or false.

I want you to write down what you think is the answer.

It may be quite a difficult question.

So, I'm going to give the point to whichever team gets the closest

to the real answer. So, you understand?

OK, both teams, here is the question. This is for both of you.

How many bits are there in a computer gigabyte?

How many bits are there in a computer gigabyte?

Put your pens away. Turn your clipboards round.

Let's have a look at what you've answered.

Reds have said 1024. Yellows have said 100.

Well, the answer is actually

8,589,934,592.

Little bit out there.

Quite a lot out. Which means...

you weren't even close but you were closest. The point goes to you.

That's two points in total to the Red Team. Well, done!

CHEERING

CHEERING

That's all coming up later.

Now, when I was at school, I had a very clever science teacher

and I invented a time machine to bring her here.

Unfortunately, I had a rubbish maths teacher.

So, I made a mathematical mistake and ended up bringing Miss back

in the body of a 10-year-old.

-And here she is.

-Hello, Richard.

Should point out that Mini Miss here is actually 65-years old.

-And looking very good for your age.

-Thank you.

Thankfully your brain remained unchanged by the experience.

Of course. I am a professor in nuclear physics

and I've been teaching for over 40 years.

See? So, what have you got for us this week?

Today we're going to be looking at air pressure.

Tell me what we're going to be doing.

Right. Well, today's teams are going to be making a rocket launcher

which they then have to fire over a bar.

Each team will get three attempts

and after each try the bar will be raised.

The winning team is the one that has got the most rockets over the bar.

Sounds brilliant, but also quite incredibly dangerous.

How do we build rockets?

Well, we have to attach this bottle to this snorkel,

using tape around here.

Then, each team will have a choice

of which sort of paper they would like to use.

To make their paper rockets, like these.

-Simple.

-Well, how does it work?

You stamp on the bottle,

and then all the air will fire up the snorkel and into the rocket.

-Which makes it shoot into the air.

-It's air pressure through there.

That's very clever.

Teams, do you all understand what you've got to do?

OK, you have some time to do this.

And it starts now.

STARTING BUZZER

What's the important things when they're doing this?

The seal around the snorkel on the bottle,

because if there's any air coming out between there,

then all the air's not going to be coming out of the rocket.

-What else?

-The second thing is the different types of paper.

You've given them three types of paper.

Tissue paper, wrapping paper and just normal coloured paper.

So, what's the difference?

The tissue paper's rather un-sturdy, isn't it?

So, it won't be as forceful.

But also, what the paper is made of,

they're going to slip off the launch more easily.

-So, there's friction in there?

-Yeah.

Hurry up, teams. Not got long now.

Oh, that's it.

ALARM SOUNDS

Teams, your time is up now, your time is up.

So, you've all built your rockets and your launchers.

Yellow Team, you guys have got to launch your rockets first.

Come over to the rocket launch area. You've got three attempts at this.

We'll raise the bar after each attempt. Which paper did you go for?

-The proper paper.

-The what?

-Normal paper as opposed to tissue paper.

-Why did you go for that?

-Because we think it's tougher

and it will keep a lot more air in.

Who's going to be the rocket launcher? Who's going to stamp?

-Me.

-Why are you doing that?

-I was chosen!

-OK, fair enough!

-You weren't a volunteer.

-He's stronger than us.

You can have your first attempt. Good luck to clear the bar.

Right, when you're ready, fire.

Very good height but it missed.

We'll put the bar up to next height. You have two more goes at this.

We will allow a little bit of tinker time in between each attempt.

Because obviously, with science this far near the cutting edge,

they need a bit of time to get things right.

Machines like this can be temperamental.

Are we set up and ready for our second launch?

You've changed your tactics. You've moved the bottle around.

The bar on it's higher setting. There's a point at stake.

Good luck.

Whoa! I'd say that cleared.

Well done.

CHEERING

Right, we'll raise the bar, lab rats, to the top height, please.

OK, are we ready for our final launch?

OK. Yes! I'd say that cleared.

Well done. That's two points.

Well done, Yellow Team. Back to your table.

Well done, Yellow Team. Two points for you.

Reds, if you're ready let's have you down here at the rocket launch site.

Were you watching what we going on with the other team?

Were you? Did you learn from it?

-Yes.

-What did you learn?

Not to face the bottle forward.

You reckon that's the way to go?

OK, well, good luck to you. Good luck.

This is your first attempt.

By the way, what paper did you use?

-Wrapping paper.

-That's different to what the Yellow Team used. Why?

It's lighter and we think it'll fly smoother.

You've thought about the aerodynamics of this.

Good luck, this is your first launch.

Who's doing the launching? Katy. Why were you chosen for this?

I've done it before at a science museum.

You've done it before? How many rockets have you built?

-Well, I've done one and I got it the furthest.

-You are a rocket scientist?

-Not really.

-You've said it now. She's a rocket scientist!

Right, well, good luck.

Whoa! OK, OK.

Well, can't deny that that worked.

If you'd like to get set up for your second attempt at the bar.

Miss, they went for a different paper.

I reckon, that the wrapping paper has less friction going on

-because it's shiny.

-Exactly.

Although this is rocket science, there's friction going on.

-Am I right?

-Yes, you are.

-See, I told you I was listening.

OK, another point at stake.

Good luck to you. Our second rocket attempt for the Red Team.

Here we go.

Yes, I'd say that's over.

That means you're equal with the Yellow Team,

who are looking a little concerned.

Lads, they're blitzing you.

I don't know... they used a different paper.

Does it look like it's working better?

-A little bit.

-Why?

I think because it's going to have...

You know like, the wind's going to pass over it more easily.

If you've got quite grippy paper all the force that comes out of here

will be wasted getting rid of that grip.

Whereas if it's slippy - no friction, zing! Away it goes.

I'm going to give you a countdown for the highest height

and it matters and it means you'll win this game.

This is the decider. Get this and you win.

Five, four, three, two, one.

Oh, yes!

Well, done.

That couldn't be any clearer. Reds, you win that round.

That's another point for you.

You've got three points.

Red, you are in the lead overall. Round of applause.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Can I just say, I was looking at this whole set up here

not at the lab rats,

I try not to look at them unless I absolutely have to.

But I was looking at the posts, the cross bar and the air pressure

and I was thinking, there's something else we can do with that.

And then I got it. I had a brilliant idea.

Rugby - a game where strong men chase an egg around a pitch

and get involved in a spot of rucking, mauling and eye gouging.

But to be honest the kicking bit is a bit boring.

So, my big idea this week

is to make scoring conversions more interesting.

But first we need to set up a little game.

MUSIC: "Eye Of The Tiger" by Survivor

Blimey! Have you seen the size of the opposition?

HE SOBS

ROARING

I think my lab rats might just have bitten off more than they can chew.

Oh well. If you can't take a bit of pain, best to stick to table tennis.

# Rising up Back on the street

# Took my time Took my chances... #

Honestly, it's like that Hulk versus the Chuckle Brothers.

WHISTLE BLOWS

Come on, lab rats, it's only a bit of pain.

Quite a lot of it. Get into them.

Well, don't run away!

Come on... get up, you wimps.

Oh, this is just embarrassing.

Come on, ref, that has to be a foul.

The England team have got Johnny Wilkinson

but Blast Lab have got something even better...

an air cannon.

Yeah, now who's looking scared?

# A seven-nation army couldn't hold me back... #

Three points and victory will be ours.

Fire!

Oh, bit of a slice on that one, I think.

Well, that didn't go entirely to plan.

An air cannon works

by using compressed air to fire the rugby ball.

When the air is released, it rapidly expands up the barrel of the cannon,

shooting the ball out of the end.

Hopefully towards the posts.

But it's got me thinking.

Johnny Wilkinson can slot a ball between the posts

from a maximum of 40 to 50 metres.

This is impressive, but can we do any better?

I wonder if our compressed-air cannon can score a conversion

from a massive 100 metres?

That's further than my lab rats can run.

OK. Well...

..time to check if you were all paying attention

and thinking about that one.

Red Team, for an extra point,

do they make the longest ever rugby conversion?

Have a think.

Yellow Team, it's the same for you as well.

It's for an extra point. So, think of your answer.

-Red Team, what are you going to say, yes or no?

-We think it did.

-You think it did?

-Yes.

-Do you think they did?

We haven't decided yet.

-Take your time, take your time, work it out.

-No.

So, that's no from the Yellows and you say?

-Yes.

-Yes. That's simple enough.

Let's find out which team is right.

OK, so here we go.

The first of three attempts to score a conversion at 100 metres.

The cannon is primed.

The pressure is turned up to full and the ball is loaded.

Fire!

Wow, look at it go!

It's gone somewhere up in the sky and...

Oh, there it is

On the wrong side of the runway.

That'll be a miss, then.

Hopefully that was just them getting their sights in.

That was equally rubbish.

This isn't basketball, so that doesn't count either.

It's down to the last attempt and my lab rats have a cunning plan.

The lightweight ball is difficult to aim.

So, they're going to fill it with sand.

Well, Johnny Wilkinson uses sand to balance his ball.

So, it's not really cheating. Here we go...

fire!

The increased mass of our rugby ball

means it has more momentum once on the move.

And that means air resistance is less likely to knock it off course.

It must have gone at least 200 metres.

Did it go through the goal posts? Let's check another angle.

Straight down the middle.

It looks like game over, though.

Well, that's a point for the Red Team.

The Yellow Team's faces when they filled that ball with sand.

I got the impression you wanted to object there, Tom.

I didn't say they weren't going to fill it with sand.

That was the problem. It's when the ball was light, even with all

that much force behind it, it got deflected too easily. And it works.

Four to the Reds, one to the Yellows.

Both teams have got to go and get changed

into your protective clothing.

It's the Messy Messy Mess Test and you are going to need it.

If there's an odd smell here. I'm sorry about the noise.

It's not me, obviously.

It's these guys, these lab rats here. These are the lab rats

that we saw making pathetic fools of themselves playing rugby.

Are we agreed they were pathetic playing rugby.

So I've made them conduct an experiment

to see how smelly my nan's socks are.

Oh, man... that's, that's not good at all.

So, I'm going to leave them to it

and move on to the Messy Messy Mess Test.

And today it is in the nuclear box.

Which is why you guys needed those protective outfits. Very important.

Actually, I've been keeping my goldfish in here recently.

Are they supposed to have teeth?

I think maybe they grew them inside. Just don't, don't pet them.

Stay away from them.

This is the game. These pods contain fabulous prizes in each one.

Like a digital metal detector,

a multi media MP3 player and a snotty slime clock.

Every home should have one.

The idea is to move these pods from this end of the box.

You can't use your hands to do that which is why you've got these tongs.

Otherwise your hands would melt and drop off.

Move them right down to the other end of the box

and drop them in these baskets at the other end.

The team to move the most prizes across a nuclear box

gets to take them home.

The losing team has to blow their prizes up.

Red team, you're going to start first

because you have the most points.

That has bought you a five-second advantage.

So, when you hear the first nuclear alert, you start.

Yellow, when you hear the second one, that's your cue

to start moving those pods to the other end.

-Does everybody understand?

-Yep.

Good, good. You have some time to get as many prize pods

to the other end as you possibly can.

And that time, Red Team, starts now.

And away we go. Some fumbling by the Reds there.

SIREN SOUNDS

The second siren sounds.

The Yellows are off

and the Reds haven't made the most of their head start.

And it's neck and neck,

with both teams passing their pods in perfect symmetry.

Disaster! A drop from the Yellows and a score from the Reds.

Now there seems to be some confusion

and more than a little stress in the Red camp.

The Yellows taking advantage of the Red meltdown with another score.

Some precision pod work from the Yellows there.

Ultimate concentration but nothing more than we would expect

from players such as these, at the top of their game.

Another for the Yellows.

And the Reds. Both teams scoring at will now.

Careful, yellows, careful.

Another prize pod down, very sad to see.

All to play for now. It is too close to call.

Another score for the Yellows and another score for the Reds.

Time's nearly up, guys.

SIREN SOUNDS

That's it. That's it. Time is up. Let's see who has won.

I can't handle these prize pods myself. My hands would melt.

So, I'm using lab rats.

They're disposable. So, let's see for the Yellow Team.

How many pods have they got in their basket?

Four for the Yellow. For Reds, how many have we got?

Five, five. So that means, Reds, you are the winners. Well done!

CHEERING

And so, Red Team, let's see what prizes you are taking home.

For that I shall need my very own ninja-trained nan.

Red team, you are each taking home a Toxic Mutant,

a Snotty Slime Clock,

a microscope each.

You've got a Bop It game,

a lunar eclipse bedroom light, each of you. Well done.

Each of you taking those prizes home.

Now for the slightly awkward bit.

Yellow, we'll find out what prizes you would have been taking home.

You would have won, each of you, a electronic Meeba.

A microscope for each of you,

an MP3 player

and a Snotty Slime Clock.

But, Yellow Team, you're not taking those prizes home with you.

Because you're going to blow them up.

It is time for Bidet Goes Bang.

Yellow Team, I daren't even ask, but how do you feel right now?

-Devastated.

-Dreadful.

-Devastated?

-Who is pushing the plunger to do this?

-We all are.

You're going to share it?

Some people use dynamite to blow things up. Others use fireworks.

I, however, use a bidet.

It's the clean sophisticated way to explode things.

OK, there's no putting it off any longer. Red Team, stop gloating.

I can sense you gloating with your huge wheelbarrow full of prizes.

Yellows, this is your moment.

So, if you'd like to stand up to the plunger please,

all of you together and lift it up.

The system is now primed. If you are ready, it's time to count down.

Five, four, three, two, one.

There you go!

You've done it now. That's all we've got time for.

Thanks to the power of pneumatics, we've fired rockets,

we've fired rugby balls down runways.

If a certain two lab rats don't start pulling their weight round

something else will be getting fired. I'll see you next time.

Well done, Reds. Well done.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Yellows.

Blast Lab was recorded before a live studio audience.

No lab rat was harmed during the filming

and any who were, we recycled.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

E-mail [email protected]