Episode 1 Richard Hammond's Blast Lab

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Lab rat, here's the special stick of glowing rock I promised you.

That's for being a good lab rat. Well done.

On an unrelated note, here's a stick of uranium.

Put that in the generator. It's important you don't mix those up,

because obviously you can't power the lab with rock,

and uranium is really bad for your teeth, OK? Go on, get on with it.

Hello, I'm Richard Hammond. This is my Blast Lab.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Actually, I think those two were the wrong way round.

I might have given him the uranium instead of the rock.

Don't chew either of them, OK? They'll be deadly. Right.

-Two teams are about to embark on...

-EXPLOSION

Yeah. Yeah, he may have chewed the wrong one.

Coming up today we have Fact Nav 2.0 with my good friend Oliver.

In Mini Science we shall be testing the immense strength

of the humble egg.

And for the first time ever, my lab rats will be in charge

of an egg-straordinary experiment.

And talking of mess, we return to the septic tank

as we play Gungey Bungee.

To ensure everything in my lab is kept top secret -

my experiments, my diary, my dolly collection -

I employ the best security guard custard creams can buy.

-It is, of course, my Ninja Nan!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

There she is, in the Ninja Nannex, probably doing something exciting

like practising the nunchucks or breaking wood with her hands,

or doing a jigsaw as it turns out.

Let's have a look at who's trying to get into my lab today.

OK, you guys claim to be the Red Team. I'm sure

you won't mind if we carry out some security checks.

So for security reasons, your names are, please? What are they?

-Hugo.

-Tom.

-Alfie.

Hugo, Tom and Alfie. That's what I've got down here.

It says under hidden talent, "Tom." What are you going to do for us?

I'm going to do karate.

Really? Ninja Nan's in there with you. Just be careful, OK?

Very quickly.

Well done. I reckon he might have taken her down. Come on in.

If Ninja Nan had seen those moves, Tom,

there would have been a lot of trouble.

You're pretty much through. One final thing remains

to make absolutely sure you are the real Red Team.

We agreed a password with the real Red Team.

-If you can tell me what that is.

-RED TEAM: Technology.

That's kind of relevant to what we do here. Any reason for that?

We all love technology and we all love computer games.

Really? Well, good luck in the lab today.

Go and get settled in for the first round. Away you go, Red Team.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That is our official Red Team. That's confirmed it. Let's meet

the other bunch of people trying to get into my lab today.

Hello! Right, you lot claim to be the Yellow Team.

For security purposes, can I confirm your names, please?

-Janice.

-Ashley.

-Jamila.

Janice, Ashley, Jamila. That's what I've got written down. OK.

Jamila, your name's under "talent".

What can you do to prove you are who you are?

Play the recorder.

Go on then. If you can play the recorder, you'll be into the lab.

That's the right end. That's good.

PLAYS "THREE BLIND MICE"

OK. Well, I don't feel a single coming on, but...

..that's a recorder. The noise is coming out of it. Come on in.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Welcome to the Blast Lab, you three. OK, fair enough you're in this far,

but we have to continue with our security checks.

We can't be too careful.

A password has been agreed with the real Yellow Team.

If you are the real Yellow Team, you'll know what that is.

-What is it?

-YELLOW TEAM: Bore da!

That's what it says here. What does that mean?

It's good morning in Welsh.

That confirms it. You are the Yellow Team.

Go and get settled in, ready for round one. You are our Yellow Team.

For the next round I shall need the help of a car who struggled to get

points for speeding, but could easily get points on Mastermind.

It is, of course, Oliver.

HORN BEEPS

Come on, my friend. There you go. Let's plug him in. That's Oliver.

Until recently the most state of the art technology that

Oliver had was... well, his wheels, really.

So to bring him into the 21st century, I've installed

a Fact Nav 2.0 system, and it all went swimmingly well,

by which I mean, I spilled a lot of water on it

and now it doesn't quite work.

It's your job, teams, to work out what's true and what's false.

If a fact is true, Oliver will make this noise -

HORN BEEPS

And if a fact is false, Oliver will let us know by making this noise -

FOGHORN BLARES

Teams, you will both notice both teams have three lights.

At the moment, they're all red. Every time you get a question right,

it will light one of your own lamps green.

Turns it green. Really important, because when you get three green,

that team wins. However, if, when you're answering a question,

you get it wrong, it doesn't turn your light green,

it turns the other team's light green.

Very, very important that you think carefully before you answer, OK?

We're going to start with a Nearest To question.

How far does the minute hand of Big Ben travel each year?

Have a think, have a chat. You never know.

How far does the minute hand of Big Ben travel each year, in miles?

It's a big clock.

Oh! Going to have to rush you. Time's going to be up.

Get an answer written down. If you've got an answer written down...

Six miles from the Reds.

From the Yellows... Five miles. You say five miles, OK.

Six from the Reds, five from the Yellows. The real answer is...

118 miles, which means the Reds win that one. Let's light a light.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

It's actually 4.2 metres long, the minute hand, and it goes round

and round the clock face doing 118 miles a year.

Right. That means, Reds, you seize control of the game.

You get the first true or false question.

An average human body contains enough iron

to make a five centimetre long nail.

Have a think, have a chat amongst yourselves.

An average human body contains enough iron to make

a five centimetre long nail. True or false? what do you think?

-False.

-You think it's false.

Oliver, is it true or is it false?

-HORNS BEEP

-It's true! I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, Reds. It's true. That means we light a lamp green

for the Yellows. And it's now your question. That's how the game works.

You get it wrong, you give them the point. Right, Yellows,

this is your first chance. Here is your science fact.

Oxygen only exists as a gas.

Oxygen only exists as a gas. Is that true or false?

Don't answer straight away. Have a chat. You never know.

One of you might know something that just helps with it.

Audience, let's see what you think. Vote with your feet. Away you go.

KLAXON

This is what I like to see. All of the audience thinks yes,

apart from one who thinks no. You think false.

-It can be in water.

-Even with all of that lot thinking otherwise,

that's somebody who knows her own mind.

Audience, back to your places.

And to remind you - oxygen only exists as a gas. True or false?

-What do you think?

-True.

-You think it's true.

Oliver, is it true or is it false?

-FOGHORN BLARES

-It's false.

And that means another lamp is lit for the Red Team. They're on two.

Puts them ahead. I'm sorry, that's how it works.

Right. Let's move on to the Red Team. Here is your fact.

A cat has more bones than a human.

Does it or doesn't it? Have a think, have a chat. You never know,

one of you might just have picked something up.

A cat has more bones than a human. To win the game,

or give them a point, is that true or false?

-True.

-You think it's true. Have you counted the bones in a cat ever?

-Yeah.

-OK, you have. Marvellous. Let's see what Oliver thinks.

-Oliver, is that true or false?

-HORNS BEEP

It's true! That means three lights are lit for the Reds.

I'm afraid they win the first round, Yellows. Well done.

-How did you know that?

-Guess.

It was a guess. In fact, a cat's skeleton is made up of around

230 bones, whereas, us humans have got about 206,

which means the Reds take the point. They're in the lead. Well done.

A while ago, I designed and built a time machine

to bring my old science teacher back from school,

here through to the lab. And it worked perfectly.

Apart from one small technical hitch,

because my teacher made it here, only now she looks like

a ten-year-old girl. She is, of course, Mini Miss.

Are you calling me a tiny technical hitch, Richard?

No, Miss. Wouldn't dream of it, Miss. Absolutely not.

Mini Miss might look like a ten-year-old,

but she's actually a fully qualified teacher with many, many,

many years' experience,

mostly of telling me to stop talking and sit at the back

when I was at school,

-because I used to...

-Stop talking, Richard.

-Sorry, Miss.

-Today, we're playing...

Oh, are you sure you want to call it that, Miss?

Only, sometimes, you know, doctors and medical people,

when they say "stool," they don't mean something you sit on,

they mean, you know, it's kind of something rather different.

We're not going to be using lots of...it's...

Ignore him.

-Don't be ridiculous, Richard.

-Just saying.

This game involves our teams placing a variety of objects

onto this sheet,

which is balanced by eggs.

OK, so they take it in turns to select an object from over here,

and place it onto this sheet,

and, let me guess, whichever team causes the eggs to crack loses,

and the other team gets an omelette! Am I right?

-Except for the omelette part, yes.

-OK, fair enough.

Before you get started on this, teams,

Mini Miss is going to talk you through your options, OK? Do listen.

You might be thinking this will be quick,

but eggs are actually surprisingly strong,

especially when you push them at their ends,

because the shape spreads the force all around the egg's surface,

meaning it doesn't crack...hopefully.

Also, we've got four eggs here,

so, if you think, each of those will be sharing a little bit

of the weight of the objects,

just a quarter of it is all they'll have to hold up on their own.

Let's see how much weight these eggs can take.

Right, teams, I think you've had enough thinking time now.

The Red Team won Fact Nav,

so you choose whether you want to go first or second with this.

What do you want to do, first or second?

-First.

-You want to go first.

OK, let's get on with it.

They're making their decision.

-Have you decided?

-Yes.

It's the cake, they've gone for the cake!

Oooh!

OK, it's on, it's on. Well done, Red Team, for the first round.

'That's almost 1.9 kilograms of cake.'

OK. OK, right. Yellows.

Come forwards, and choose your object.

Always best to concentrate.

Janice is going for the oven glove.

I reckon this is a safe bet.

50 grams of oven glove has joined it, well done! Nice one, Yellows.

OK. Well done, Yellows.

Reds, the pressure's on, you've got to return serve.

-Chaps, have we decided?

-Yes.

OK, it's the egg timer from the Red Team. It's a little one.

Oh, yeah, you've got away with that.

'That brings the total to just over two kilograms.'

Yellows, lining up their shot, and they've gone for the egg whisk.

Well done, Ashley, well done. There you go, we're OK!

We're in the clear! Well done, Yellows.

Winding up to be a long game, this one.

Reds, come on. It's the discussion.

Have you made your decision? What are you going for?

-The rolling pin.

-The rolling pin.

'Ooh the rolling pin. 300 grams.'

All four eggs spreading that weight between them,

we must be up to the best part of three kilograms,

so each one supporting a quarter of that.

Yellows, please make a choice. Oh, oh, oh!

The game's really hotting up now.

Ooh, they've gone for the biscuit barrel.

Jamila going for the place, she's going for the place.

It's up, it's supported. Well done!

Step forward, Reds. It's the pressure, he's cracking under it.

'What's he going to go for? Ooh, it's the teapot,

'800 grams' worth.'

Oh!

Ooh! Nice move, nice move.

The teapot weighs exactly the same as the biscuit barrel.

It's a classic return move in Eggy Stool.

Right, Yellows, come forwards, make your choice.

This game is going all the way. The atmosphere in the lab tense now.

Ooh, now, that's an interesting object.

This is quite a brave move at this stage in the game.

'1.7 kilograms. The cake is the only heavier item on our egg table.'

A lot of concentration right now.

OK, can you find a space, even, to accommodate this?

1.7 kilograms, those scales weigh.

About to add it to a Ninja Nan sponge cake,

a rolling pin, oven glove, egg timer,

egg whisk, biscuit barrel, and teapot.

-Er, it's got a tiny little dent.

-Ooh. Ooh, it's getting close!

Oh!

Yellows, I'm so sorry.

Two eggs cracking, there, under the weight of 5.8kg.

So that's another point to the Reds.

2-0 to the Reds. Well done.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So eggs are pretty strong,

but, I mean, I could lift that lot.

I wonder if eggs can support something

really super mega Ninja Nan's handbag heavy?

Strength! It comes in many forms.

Iron, steel, titanium - all names that strike fear

and cause sleepless nights amongst the likes of lettuce,

candyfloss and wet paper bags.

But there is another unsung hero, who's been biding its time

until today, when it's finally decided

to step forth into the limelight.

To whom am I referring?

It's the friend of bakers, fry-ups and Easter bunnies across the world.

It is, of course, the egg.

But the egg isn't unbreakable.

For it to be unbreakable, you've got to unlock the science.

I think we need a graphic.

Apart from being a versatile, protein-packed snack,

an egg's shape is perfect for spreading weight.

Eggs are strong when pushed from the top to the bottom

because the force of the push is spread around the egg surface.

This means eggs can take more weight than you might think.

But if you push sideways on the egg, the force isn't spread out

so causes an eggy explosion.

We're going to see if science can redefine the egg's fragile image.

First we need to find out how strong eggs really are. Will one egg

be strong enough to hold one lab rat's body weight?

No. OK, what about two eggs?

No. OK. Let's go for four eggs.

This really is riveting scientific endeavour at its very best.

Surprise - eight eggs. Who's have thought it?!

Ooh, it looks like it's holding.

At last, success!

We've learned that eight eggs can hold the weight of one lab rat.

A lab rat weighs... How much?

OK.

If you say so. Eight eggs to hold up 79 kilos of lab rat.

What if we tried this with something heavier, much heavier,

say...that. A helicopter.

That weighs about 1,000 kilos,

so how many eggs would it take to hold up 1,000 kilos?

Equals how many eggs?

The number of eggs.

I'm going to leave you to work this out.

I'll be back later.

So I'm going to leave the lab rats to figure this out.

Now, today is a world's first.

And I'm not talking about landing a helicopter on eggs.

It's that I've entrusted my lab rats to set up this experiment

without any supervision.

Am I confident of success? Well, the science adds up.

There's always that human error factor,

or in this case, the lab rat factor.

Brilliant(!)

After only three months of calculations,

and the counting of hundreds of lab rats' fingers,

they've finally worked out

756 eggs should be enough to support the weight of the helicopter.

SHOULD be.

Well, we'll soon find out, that's for sure.

On our final approach and there is the heli-egg pad.

I did leave the lab rats to calculate the number of eggs.

That means I'm trusting them...

with a helicopter.

Have the lab rats got something right for a change?

Will 756 eggs support the weight of a helicopter?

I hope so, otherwise this could get very messy.

OK, hold the experiment right there

because I think there could be another point here.

The Reds are ahead by two at the moment.

Let's go for the point, OK? I'll give the point

to the team who gives the most accurate answer.

How many eggs in the heli-egg pad do you think will break?

From nought,

none of them, to 756.

That's all of them.

Have a talk between the three of you and come up with a number.

None of them, some of them, all of them.

I will give the point to the team that gets closest.

Yellows, what do you think?

About 300.

-Reds, what do you think?

-None.

There's a big old difference going on here.

Let's see what happens. Carry on with the experiment.

Here we go.

Will 756 eggs hold the weight of a 1,000kg helicopter?

The wind not making life easy for the pilot.

But it's getting closer.

Centimetres away now.

Incredibly, I think they may have done it.

With the chopper landed,

the eggs are now supporting its entire weight.

As you can see, it worked.

The lab rats worked out how many eggs

could support a 1,000kg helicopter.

Lift this off. Let's just make sure.

Not an egg broken.

Our new strength hero is scientifically proven to be the egg.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

A point to the Reds.

Well done.

Really, that was amazing.

Who'd have thought

that the heli-egg pad would survive? I hate to say this, but...

lab rat, come over here.

This is a weird experience for us both.

Well done. I'm really proud of you.

All right, don't get giddy.

Well, that was...

If I ever get round to inventing my wind-powered helicopter,

that heli-egg pad will be handy.

Where is the heli-egg pad now? Where is it?

What a fantastic success!

The lab rats haven't ruined it with their stupidity.

CAR HORN

No, they've ruined it. Just when I thought we were making progress.

Idiot!

That was the first thing you ever got right and you messed it up.

I hope you cleaned that mess up.

You didn't put it in there, did you? You could have made a good omelette.

It would have been useful. Go and get ready. It's now time for...

The teams have to get these prize pods from this side of the tank,

using the bungee-powered catapults to launch them into the prize zone

on the other side of the tank, but there's a twist.

One person from each team is in the gunge.

They're here to intercept the other team's pods

and return their own pods to the bungee loaders and firers.

Each team can also fire...

these to their team mates in the gunge.

-These are...

-Giant hands of glory!

Stop showing off.

Away you go.

These can be used to stop pods because they're bigger.

In the time it takes to fire one of these,

you could have fired a prize pod, so you're wasting time.

Red Team, you're in the lead.

You get a five-second head start. You can go on the first siren.

You have some time to get prize pods into the prize zone

and that time starts...

now!

So the Red Team the first to try to catapult themselves some prizes

to take home. They've gone straight for the hands of glory.

The Yellows have started and Ashley's wasting no time

powering those prize pods across the gunge.

The firer is still trying to find their range.

The blockers are on top at the moment, but look at that,

the Reds have a prize pod bounce in and out of the prize zone.

The Yellows score.

The Red Team are firing pods at their own teammate.

That's more like it! The Reds equalise.

Now the Yellows are at it.

Ashley just pinged a pod in Jamila's face.

Still, everything to play for and another Red pod in the zone.

The Yellows had better do something fast.

You never know when time may run out.

KLAXON

That's time up. Wow! What a battle.

Teams, come round here, please. Red and Yellow.

Obviously not you guys. You're stuck in there.

Let's find out who's won. Lab rats, count them up.

Yellows, what have we got? One.

And the Reds. What have we got?

Two, the Reds are the winners.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Well done.

Reds, let's have a look at what you've won.

A make-your-own racing car.

A Transformer.

Yellows, this is the difficult bit where we have to look at

what you would have won, but haven't.

What is it?

A make-your-own racing car.

Sorry, team.

Only one team can go home with their prizes.

The other team goes home

with their memories of the prizes which they're about to blow up.

Sorry, cos it's time for Bidet Goes Bang.

CHEERING

Reds, well done, Reds.

These are your prizes. Congratulations.

You are our winners. Well played.

CHEERING

And so, as they disappear, Yellows,

we must make our way over there.

Come with me.

Come on. This way.

We must go...

It's a sad moment. What can I say?

Somebody had to go home with an armful of prizes

and somebody had to blow them up.

You're doing the blowing up. Team, lift the plunger.

There we go. Countdown, audience,

from five, four, three, two, one.

Go!

CHEERING

Yellows, well done.

Did that make it worth it?

Yeah, it kind of did.

Today has been an eggs-traordinary look at the power of the humble egg.

There are lots of eggs left unbroken which gives me the opportunity

for some target practice. Lab rats, you may want to get your goggles on.

In the meantime, bye for now.

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