Episode 3 Richard Hammond's Blast Lab

Right, would you like my autograph as well?

It's my lab! He's just a lab rat.

He can't even write, look. This is...pathetic.

Oh, thank you. Hello and welcome to MY Blast Lab.

Yeah.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

OK. Yeah, this is the BEST laboratory in the whole...

OK, maybe not the best. The biggest laboratory in the whole...

maybe not the biggest laboratory in the world.

The best laboratory currently on television right now,

with him in it and a big tank of toxic goo.

Yeah, it is. Coming up in a moment, we'll have two teams of scientists,

competing in top-level scientific challenges to win excellent prizes.

With a mountain of knowledge and unfixable fountain of engine oil,

it's Oliver and his soon-to-be world famous Fact Nav 2.0.

In Mini Science, we witness a world first, and possibly...

last, as our teams conquer friction by combining one of the slippiest

man-made substances on the planet with giant frying pans.

Meanwhile, my lab rats get their paws on a slow-motion camera

and uncover the amazing world behind boring everyday things.

And in this week's Messy Messy Mess Test, we play bridge.

No, not Ninja Nan's favourite card game, but the one and,

for planning permission reasons, the only Bridge of Destiny.

'The Bridge of Destiny!'

Yeah. Now, what would you say if I told you this high-security lab

was only protected by an elderly lady?

You'd probably say, "I know, Richard.

"I've watched Blast Lab loads. She's a Ninja."

And you'd be right. Here she is.

Let's see what Ninja Nan and her friends from Cobra Squad are up to.

Oh, no. Looks like things have got nasty.

Somebody's only gone and done Ninja Nan's word search without asking.

I feel bad now. It was me that did it. Let's not say anything.

Let's instead have a look at who's trying to get into my lab today.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hello. So, you three say you're the Red Team. All right.

We have to be sure. For security reasons, identify yourselves.

-Ashley.

-Michael.

-Ronan.

Ashley, Michael, Ronan. Yes, that checks out.

Under talent, who's doing what for us?

I can do kick-boxing.

Oh, yes, yes, that's kick-boxing going on.

Come on into the lab, please.

APPLAUSE

So you three claim to be the Red Team.

Just before I can give you security clearance

and full access to the lab, we have agreed a password.

-What do you think it is?

-Flying.

Flying is what I've got written down here. Why that?

-It was our first time flying yesterday.

-To get to the lab?

I believe you. You're accepted and pass through security.

Go and get settled, ready for the first game. That is your Red Team.

There they are.

Great. We've got a Red Team. That's good.

What we need now is a Yellow Team, and these three say it's them.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hello, hello. So, you three claim to be the Yellow Team.

You could be anybody. Just for security reasons,

-identify yourselves by name.

-Zoe.

-Jacob.

-Aidan.

Zoe, Jacob, Aidan, that's what I've got on the file here.

What can you do to prove you are who you say?

I can bend around a broom.

I don't even understand. You'll have to demonstrate this.

OK.

Oh...oh!

Ow! OK, fair enough. Eh... Well,

I'm assuming nobody else here could do that so, yes, you can come in.

APPLAUSE

Right, we've agreed a password with the real Yellow Team.

If you are, then you would know what it is.

-Water.

-I've got it written down.

Why water? Because it's really important?

Because when my mum was sunbathing,

I threw a bottle of water out of the window on to her.

Whoa, that was ill-advised!

-I should explain, you're all brothers and sisters.

-Yes.

Happy family. Well, happy family

-until that moment, I'm guessing.

-Kind of.

Well, fair enough. Water it is then.

Go and get settled in. That is the Yellow Team. We have a Yellow Team.

CHEERING

Next, it's time to meet my favourite automobile in this lab.

What it lacks in horsepower, he makes up for in headlight power.

No, he doesn't. They're terrible. He makes up for

in a horrible knocking sound in fourth. It is Oliver.

CHEERING

Let's get you docked into Fact Nav and get you connected up and ready.

OK. Systems up and running. Good.

Now, Oliver here has got Fact Nav 2.0.

It's a system that can provide you with millions of scientific facts,

when installed by a qualified professional.

However, when it's installed by an unqualified amateur, like, me,

for instance, about half the facts turn out to be wrong.

This is where you come in. You have to tell me whether the science facts

I give you are true or false.

If they turn out to be true, Oliver will then let us know by doing this.

CAR HORN BEEPS REPETITIVELY

If they turn out to be false, he'll do this.

FOG HORN WAILS

That means false. Here's how we play the game.

Each team has three red lights. Every time you answer

a question correctly, I'll turn one of your lights green.

The first team to get three green lights

wins the game, they take a point and we move on.

One important thing, though.

If you get a question wrong, I'll light a light green

for the other team. Understand the rules?

-Yes.

-Right. Teams, the first question is a nearest-to question.

What is the highest recorded temperature on Mercury?

What is the highest recorded temperature on Mercury?

-'Time's up.'

-Yellows, what have you got? 253 degrees Celsius. Reds?

3,400 degrees Celsius.

The real answer is...

467 degrees Celsius, which means the Yellows are closest.

It's a green light for the Yellows.

Sorry, Reds. Don't worry. This game can turn so quickly.

That means, Yellows, you've taken control of the game.

You have a green light lit. You get the first true or false question.

And here it comes.

The owl noises, "too wit too woo" is actually made by two owls,

not just one. Have a little chat and think about it.

While you're doing that, Yellows,

audience, vote with your feet. Is it true or false?

Some frantic mind changing from some, then. I saw there was a bit of

mind changing from you. You suddenly decided no, it's true, yeah?

-Because it's very loud.

-Yes.

So, it must be made by two.

-Oh, I see what you mean.

-One could be very quiet.

Yeah, volume is one theory. What do you reckon?

I think it's false because

it might be where the owl might have big lungs.

-And it might make it loud.

-So, owls have just got a loud voice.

-What do you reckon? Made by one owl or two owls?

-One.

One owl. OK. Audience, thank you for your opinions.

Pop back to your places.

What do you think? The owl noise, "too wit too woo,"

is actually made by two owls not just one.

-Do you think that's true or false?

-False.

You think that's false. Oliver,

please tell us, is that true or false?

CAR HORN BEEPS

It's true. You said false. That means a green light to the Reds,

I'm sorry. The Reds get a green light.

It's tawny owls that make the "too wit too woo" noise, in fact,

and what we hear is a mixture of both the male

and female owls calling to each other. It's quite romantic.

Presumably one goes "too wit," and the other one goes "too woo".

Or something like that. Reds, this is now you in the same position

as the others were a moment ago. If you get this one right,

you get two green lights. You're in good form.

Get it wrong, and they can win it with their next question.

The longest woman's fingernail in the world is 90cm long.

Is that true or false? Have a think about it.

I'm not going to hurry you for an answer.

Audience, what do you think? Vote with your feet. Let's see.

So...90cm for the longest woman's fingernail in the world.

What do you think? Longest woman's fingernail, 90cm?

I think it might be longer because I saw something in the newspaper...

Longer found that? Oh, OK. And what do you think?

I think it's too long to be someone's fingernail.

How could it grow without breaking?

-It's too long.

-OK, audience, if you'd like to

get back to your places, please. Now we know what you think,

we're interested in what the Reds think

because this is their question.

The longest woman's fingernail in the world is 90cm long.

-Is that true or false?

-False.

False? OK. Oliver, is that true or false?

The Reds think it's false.

CAR HORN BEEPS

It's true! That means a second green light for the Yellows.

There you go. The record is held by an American, Lee Redmond.

She's not cut her nails since 1979.

I love your faces. That's exactly it. 1979!

Right, now the position is very interesting.

This is to stay in the game. This is pretty important.

Here comes your science fact.

House flies live, on average, for two years.

So, that's the science fact.

Is it a fact? Is it true, or is it false?

-False.

-Oliver, for the game, is it true or false?

FOG HORN WAILS

It is false. That means another green light for the Yellows.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

In actual fact, house flies only have an average lifespan

of two weeks and usually spend most of it buzzing around my septic tank,

to be honest. Well done. It's 1-0 to the Yellows right now.

When I set out all those years ago

to build my very own time machine, I had no idea

that my never-before-seen splicing of science fact with science fiction

would lead to an often before seen result. Science failure.

I say failure, it did work.

Sort of, as the first person to use my time machine is about to prove.

That, of course, is Mini Miss.

APPLAUSE

The first person to use your time machine, Richard,

I'd like to suggest you also make that the last.

Yes, Miss. Sorry, Miss, about the whole...

She was my old science teacher and she still is my science teacher,

just that she's come out of my time machine as a 10-year-old.

I haven't got all day. Can we move on?

Yes, what's today's game all about?

Well, Richard, we'll be investigating friction

by playing a game I like to call...

I've seen curling. That's where they slide huge lumps of granite

along the ice, like that.

I've often thought, why not use smaller lumps of granite?

It would make it easier. You could go a lot further.

Yes, and another way to make it easier

would be to replace the ice with a sheet of Teflon,

one of the slipperiest man-made substances on the planet.

That's what we've got here. A huge slide of the slippy substance.

And in the background, we have these objects. So, each team has to choose

an object and then put it in a giant frying pan,

and attempt to slide them along the slippery surface

into these scores zones.

But, don't push too hard or the frying-pan will slip off the end

and into the fire and you'll get no score at all for your push.

What we've got is our super slippery surface,

which means we've kept friction down to a minimum.

What you guys have to do, teams,

is give the right amount of momentum to the frying pan with your chosen

object, so it slides down to the highest score possible before

the bit of friction that is here actually makes it come to a stop.

This is a game of skill and judgment.

You're judging the amount of momentum required.

Good luck with that. OK, let's go on with the game.

Yellow Team, you one Fact Nav, you are ahead so you get to decide

if you want to go first or second.

Could we go second, please?

OK. Reds are going first, Let's get on with it.

Good luck both teams. Here we go.

The Reds have been forced to go first and they've chosen the egg.

AUDIENCE: Ooh...

APPLAUSE

That's three points for the Reds.

Now, it's round one for the Yellows and they've gone for the burger.

Will this fast food live up to its name?

APPLAUSE

Wow, nice call.

That's five points for the Yellows. Good shot.

They're going for the sausage.

What? It's sausage. Good luck, Reds.

APPLAUSE

That's four points for the Reds.

Yellows now choosing tomatoes. Can they beat what has gone before?

Jacob trying to judge the momentum needed

to score the most without going into the fire.

Ooh!

The Yellows showing us how it should be done with

-a perfect score.

-So that's seven points for the Yellows.

It's not looking good for the Reds. They only have seven points

to the Yellows' 12. They're going to need to get a maximum score

to stand any chance of winning this game.

It's a four. Still a good score. Good, safe score. Well done.

-That's four points for the Reds.

-With that last effort, it is now

impossible for the Reds to win.

The Yellows still have one more go, though,

with the final item, the bacon. Here we go.

APPLAUSE

That's four points for the Yellows.

Right, teams, we have finished.

We have slid everything that we have to slide.

And I can tell you that the...

Well, here are the scores. Reds, you got 11, Yellows, 16.

That means it's now 2-0 to the Yellows! Well done!

It was a game of judgment, how much momentum to give it.

Sorry. Don't worry, it's not over yet, Reds.

All that sliding around was a bit fast-paced for me.

My excitement-o-meter is measuring off the chart,

by which I mean my heart's beating way too fast and I feel a bit sick.

I think it's time we slowed things down a bit.

Meet Slow Rider.

This bad boy believes everything in life is better when done slowly.

In fact, he's been living such a slowed-down life

that he's developed the knack of viewing everyday occurrences

in slow motion.

Today, we've brought in a special slow-motion camera

which will let us into his secret world of slowness.

We'll be able to see things 40 times slower than they really are

and find out just why he loves things going so slowly.

We're using a camera that captures 40 times more images per second

than the human eye, allowing us to see things as they actually happen

rather than how we think they do. So, what's first on the menu?

A lab rat eating a lemon.

Well, Slow Rider seemed impressed.

Let's take a closer look.

Yeah, it is disgusting, but for some reason it's hard not to look.

Next, a man with a fish.

Amazing.

Even on what is one of the slimmer lab rats, you can clearly see

the skin rippling from the point of fish-on-face impact.

What now?

Two cream cakes. Ooh, I think I can see what's coming here.

Comic genius. Now, let's take a look at that in slow motion.

OK, all very entertaining, but this is Blast Lab,

so it's time for an experiment.

One lab rat and a balloon filled with water.

When popped and watched at normal speed, it looks like this.

All a bit messy. But what is happening?

I feel a science graphic coming on.

When the balloon is popped, there are several forces

acting on the water, each affecting its shape and how it falls.

First, there's gravity, which should

pull each and every water molecule towards the ground at the same rate,

making the water keep the exact shape of the balloon.

Second, there's surface tension. This is made by the water molecules

being sticky and clinging to each other.

This surface tension acts to make the water a perfect ball shape.

Finally, there's air resistance.

This pushes on the water molecules as they fall through the air,

making them spread out in all directions.

OK, so there are three forces that can change the water's shape.

When you watch the balloon burst with your own eyes,

it's impossible to see what they actually do to the water.

Let's watch it again, only this time with our special slow-motion camera.

Will we see the water keep the shape of the balloon as it's popped,

or will the water splash everywhere?

OK, hold the experiment. There is a point up for grabs here, teams.

The score is 2-0, I know, so you can't suddenly

take the lead, but it'd be nice to win the point.

I will give the point to the team that can tell me most accurately

what happens. What do we think?

Will the water be able to hold its shape?

Yellows?

-What do you think?

-I think we'll be able to see it hold its shape.

So you think just a balloon shape.

-OK. Reds, what do you reckon?

-We think the same, it'll keep its shape.

Let's find out. There's only one way to do that. On with the experiment.

So, we all think we know what happens

when you pop a water balloon.

But what REALLY happens?

Let's find out.

As the balloon breaks, some water droplets explode outwards,

but the main bulk of the water

actually holds the shape of the balloon before dropping.

So there you have it.

Water does actually hold the shape when it comes out of the balloon.

That means it's a point to both teams.

-Well done. Absolutely. Yeah.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Er... All right, you can have it back. Thank you, Michael.

Erm, I just like popcorn. Thanks very much.

Both teams get a point from that. The score now is 3-1.

Reds and Yellows, away you go and get changed.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

It's good, though. It's salty.

It's nice. That got my lab rats thinking,

that experiment, though they don't think normally, like the rest of us.

Looks like Slow Rider has taken his leave.

A lab rat in charge of an expensive piece of camera equipment?

Now, that's a recipe for disaster if I ever saw one.

Slow motion of a ball being kicked, eh? Well, let's see what happens.

You can see the ball compressing against the foot

before shooting off.

Very impressive. I take it all back.

Ah, he's hit the camera. Wait till I get my hands on you.

All right. And now it's time for...

In that tank with you are pieces of a bridge - a bridge better known as

the Bridge of Destiny.

DRAMATIC, AMERICAN ACCENT: The Bridge of Destiny!

You have to find all the pieces you can

in that gunge to make the bridge to drive your cars across.

It's that simple. The team that crosses it first

will win all the prizes in the car's trailer -

like radio-controlled spider, bionic copter.

You'll win one of those each. Know what you're doing?

-Yeah.

-If we're ready, let's play the Bridge of Destiny.

HIGH-PITCHED: # The Bridge of Destiny! #

HE HOLDS THE NOTE

Yellow Team, you're in the lead right now,

so you get the five-second head start.

Reds, you go on the second siren, not before, OK? Everybody know

what they're doing? Good luck in the race to get your cars across.

Let's start...now!

And it's the Yellows who have the advantage,

but will they make it count?

There go the Reds.

It's a battle out there today, with neither team taking prisoners.

No time for pleasantries in this game.

Both teams struggling to impose themselves at the moment,

opting for the "square peg in a round hole" tactic,

which, I can tell you,

has not been the most successful technique in times past.

There's certainly no lack of effort on display today.

Hard to tell who's doing best - or who's doing worst -

with both teams desperately trying to build a bridge

maybe as slowly as possible.

I did explain the rules, didn't I? Did I?

And as if things weren't bad enough,

that sounds like my sickly robot Alan about to sneeze.

Lovely. Why is it blue? Please don't write in.

I don't want to know. Back to the game.

Has there been any progress whatsoever?

Well, yes, both teams seem to have woken from their slumber

and are desperately close to finishing their bridges.

It really is anyone's game now.

And I think the Yellows might have the edge,

but it's too close to call.

Oh, not again. Alan's about to add to the confusion.

Oh, thanks so much for your input, Alan(!) Always welcome.

This is the closest finish I've ever seen. Red? Yellow? I don't know!

The crowd doesn't know.

It's Yellows that have pulled their lever first

to release the prize wagon.

Will it slip? It's slipping, it's slipping, but it's over.

A majestic win for the Yellows. Bad luck, Reds.

Yeah, I'd say, Yellows,

you got your car safely across the bridge, and then some!

While we pick those up, that can be only one result, then.

It's a win for the Yellows! Well done!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Let's have a look at what you've won. Are you ready?

Each of you will take home Tomb of Doom,

Bionic Copter,

Lunar Eclipse Bedroom Light,

a puzzle cube for each of you,

radio-controlled spider for each of you,

flying UFO,

bouncy balls,

and a metal detector.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That's all great news on this side of the tank.

Over here, slightly different. Unlucky, losing team.

Funnily, you would actually have won exactly the same prizes.

You'd each have taken home all of those.

But of course, only one team can go home with their prizes,

the other goes home with what they came with - nothing.

Because it's time for Bidet Goes Bang!

Well done. Fair enough.

So, two teams of brothers and sisters came to the Blast Lab -

one, the Yellows, leaving happily with all of these prizes.

These are all yours. Yeah, feeling good! Yeah, right, well done!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Congratulations. The other team of brothers and sisters,

the Reds, it's a different mood going on,

because you did really well all the way through. You were great sports.

And then you lost. I'm really sorry,

and so it is with a heavy heart that I must ask you to do this.

I say heavy heart - it could just be indigestion. Either way, follow me.

It's time for the Walk of Shame. Let's do it.

Thank you, audience.

-SAD MUSIC PLAYS

-Oh! It's sad.

Oh, it's heartbreaking.

It is sad.

OK.

Reds, there's no nice way of putting this, really. You lost.

What you're going to do instead of taking your prizes is...

-Blow them up.

-..blow 'em up, yeah, that's what we're going to do.

You played really well all through. Hope you enjoyed it.

I'm sorry you couldn't win.

So, if you'd like to lift the plunger...

-Yes!

-..united as a family team,

sharing the blame together for blowing to bits

all the prizes they'd love to take home.

If we're ready, audience, let's count them down. From five...

AUDIENCE: Four, three, two, one!

Well, today has been a good day.

We've learnt about friction by putting objects in giant frying pans

and studied some frankly funny phenomena in slow motion.

So from the lab rats and me, it's goodbye.

Actually, the lab rats have barely noticed the show's even started,

so it's just goodbye from me, really. Goodbye!

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