Episode 1 Richard Hammond's Blast Lab

All right, I've got ya, I've got ya, it's all right, I've got...

oh, dear, yeah.

That was a lab rat, I sent him into the tank to fetch my keys.

I think I dropped 'em in there, and...oh, hang on...

oh, no, it's all right, I've got them, they're here. Thank goodness!

Never mind! Hello and welcome to my Blast Lab.

Got the keys back.

If you like fluffy animals, butterflies and rainbows,

you're watching the wrong programme.

If you like gunge, experiments and explosions

then you are in the right place.

In a moment, two teams of young scientists

are about to partake in some noisy, gungey and fun scientific challenges

to try and win great prizes. Coming up,

the petrol powered professor. In fact, now 2.0, it is Oliver.

In Mini Science we shall be learning about attraction,

with a science teacher who hates me.

Yeah, yeah, well done.

Meanwhile, I may have regrets over letting my Lab Rats

take charge of doing the weekly supermarket shop.

This week's Messy Messy Mess Test will involve my soon-to-be-illegal,

cat-firing device, it's my amazing catapult for the gungey bungee.

Now, most top secret labs have elaborate swipe cards,

iris recognition and fingerprint machines to allow access.

There's no need for any of that rubbish here.

That's because I have my Ninja Nan.

She must be practising her Ninja invisibility techniques, brilliant.

If you look carefully

you can see a sort of shimmer in the middle of the room...

..oh, no, hang on, she's just been making a pot of tea. My mistake.

Now she's got herself settled in,

let's have a look at who's trying to get into my lab today.

Yeah, everybody's very excited. Oh, look, here's the Red Team.

We don't know, you could be anybody.

-For security reasons, your names, please.

-Emma.

-Abigail.

-Connor.

Emma, Abigail and Connor, yeah, most definitely.

-What talent will you use to prove you're the Red Team?

-A funky dance.

That's what it says here. Go on then.

Big fish, little fish, cardboard box, big fish, little fish, cardboard box.

Robot, robot, ee, ee, ee.

Technically, that was an irritating dance,

but we'll let you in, we'll say it's funky, into the lab, come on then.

What on Earth was that?

All right then, so you say you're the real Red Team.

One final security check before I let you into the lab.

We agreed a password with the real Red Team,

if that's you, you'd know what it is. So what is it?

-Sharks.

-Yes, that's what I've got written down.

Why sharks? Got a pet shark?

I've got a massive phobia of them.

-Have you?

-Once, I cried cos my mum said,

"imagine if you were in a tank full of them?".

That'd be terrible. Aagghh, shark!

No, it's not, you're all right, it's just the audience there.

You are the Red Team, go and get settled in ready for the first game.

Right, that's one team, we need another, we need a Yellow Team.

These three say it's them.

Yeah, it's all well and good getting excited,

you could be three impostors who've just found three yellow lab coats.

We need to check you out through security. Names?

-Ryan.

-George.

-Charlie.

Ryan, George, Charlie, that's what I've got here.

Charlie, your name's next to talent, What are you going to do?

I can do basketball tricks.

OK, do some basketball tricks.

Oh, yeah, bouncing, oh, yeah, oh, OK.

He's doing the spinning on the finger thing,

fair enough, I'll let you in.

Hello, Yellows, now we agreed a password with the real,

-genuine Yellow Team. What d'you think it is?

-Eyelid.

Yeah, that's what I've got written down. Why?

I was playing football

and I collided heads with my friend and I split my eyelid.

Ow! Fair enough, it's a wounded story, that's pretty impressive.

I'll believe you're the Yellow Team. Go and get ready for the first game.

There's your Yellow Team.

And now it's time for the car the Government won't let on the road,

not because he isn't roadworthy,

but because he knows all their top-secret information

and to let him out would be a risk to national security...

and he isn't taxed. It is, of course, Oliver.

Oliver, please join us.

Get him docked into Factnav, get him hooked up,

there you go, systems up and running. Oh, yes.

He's a wonderful little car, but I've made him even better

because I upgraded him with the very latest Factnav 2.0,

an unbelievable system full of just millions of fascinating facts.

The only thing is, when I fitted it,

you see, there was already the stereo in the dashboard,

and so there was only so much room and it wouldn't quite go in,

and because I really love my music, I broke a bit off the Factnav

to put it in, and now it doesn't really work properly.

So teams, I'm going to need you to tell me

whether the science facts I give you are true or false.

If they then turn out to be true, Oliver will do this.

OLIVER TOOTS

Or, if they're false, he'll let us know by doing this.

OLIVER PARPS

OK, simple enough, here's how we play the game.

Three lights on each side, three for each team, now red.

Every time you get a question right we'll turn one light green.

But if you answer a question incorrectly,

not only do we not turn your light green,

we'll turn one of the other team's lights green.

The first team to light all three lights green will win the game,

they'll take a point and we move on.

Know what you've got to do? The first question

is a "nearest to" question.

The Northern Line of the London Underground

has one of the longest tunnels in the world.

How long is that tunnel in miles? Have a chat, have a think.

Oh, Reds, let's get something written down.

-Time's up.

-OK, both teams have got an answer written down in miles.

Yellows, what've you got? 100 miles

Reds, what've you got? 220 miles.

The actual answer is 17.3 miles,

-which means the Yellows are closest. They get the green light.

-Yes!

OK, that means, Yellows, you get the first "true or false" question.

A spacesuit weighs approximately 127kg on the ground,

is that true or false?

-False.

-False, that's your answer as a team.

Yellows think it's false. Oliver, is that true or false?

-OLIVER TOOTS

-It's true.

Sorry, Yellows, it is true,

which means the green light goes to the Reds.

It actually does weigh that, 127kg on the ground.

That's the same as three Ninja Nans.

Right, Reds, it's time for your first true or false question.

Walruses have a sucking power

as strong as an average vacuum cleaner.

Is that true, do you think, or false?

True.

Oliver, I'd like you to tell me.

-OLIVER PARPS

-It is, in fact, false.

I'm really sorry, Reds, it's false,

that means another green light is lit for the Yellows. So...

in actual fact a walrus's sucking power

is three times stronger than the average vacuum cleaner.

They're no good for doing behind the sofa. They don't come

with the attachment for that.

Right, Yellows, you're in a very good position.

The largest volcano in the solar system is found on Mars.

Is that true or false?

The largest volcano in the solar system is on Mars.

You guys have a chat.

Audience, let's see what you think. Vote with your feet, true or false?

Five, four, three, two, one.

SIREN WAILS

The majority of the audience in favour of that being the case.

Do we think so?

Yeah, I think that it's true because I just had a guess.

-We approve of guessing.

-I looked at the picture and thought...

-You think not.

-No, I don't.

No? OK, fair enough.

Back to your places please, audience, back to your places.

Yellows, this is what's the word?

There is a word, hang on...

..critical, that's the word.

-Yep.

-Because this is to win the game,

or hand over a big juicy opportunity to do just that to the Reds.

What do you think?

-True.

-You think it's true.

Oliver, is it true or false?

-OLIVER TOOTS

-It's true.

Third light and that's three to the yellows.

It's actually called Olympus Mons

and it's three times as tall as Mount Everest.

It's pretty big as volcanoes go,

and that means with three lights lit green, the Yellows take the lead.

It's 1-0 to the Yellows and we move on.

When I announced to the world

that I had successfully built a time machine

I braced myself for an avalanche of congratulations cards,

maybe a knighthood, maybe the Nobel prize,

but instead all that happened was

the world's finest physics minds went into hiding.

I think they were trying to tell me something,

but I switched it on anyway and I used it

to bring my old science teacher back through time to the lab,

and it worked...sort of.

It's just that she stepped out of it as a ten year old girl,

and she is, of course, Mini Miss.

-You never did listen, Richard.

-Sorry, Miss, what were you saying?

-Never mind. Let's just focus on today's game, shall we?

-Pardon?

You'd better not be winding me up, or I'll be speaking with your mother.

-Yes, Miss, sorry, Miss, paying attention now, Miss.

-Good.

Today's game is called...

All our teams have to do is take turns

hanging these common or garden garage items off this super magnet.

-Sounds easy enough, hang them off there.

-But they must be careful,

because the team that makes the magnet drop, loses the game.

So this is all about judging weight and just how strong

that magnet attraction is to that metal plate, isn't it?

Finally, you've got something right, Richard.

Yes, yes, no, I'm good at this, Miss.

Actually I've got a joke about magnets.

Where do magnets plant their potatoes?

In a magnetic field.

WIND WHISTLES BELL TOLLS

No? No takers? No takers for that?

OK, suddenly quite warm in here.

Right, teams, before we get started on this

you've got a bit of time to think about it.

Mini Miss will talk tactics with you.

You have a little bit of time to do that.

This is all about the power of magnets.

Magnets and magnetism are quite mysterious.

Scientists are still looking into how they work.

At the moment they think the reason things are or aren't magnetic

is due to small regions within the materials things are made of

called domains, and these domains act like tiny little magnets.

If they all face the same direction,

the theory is that makes something magnetic,

so it sticks to other magnets.

Here we have Blast Lab's super magnet.

Hold on, urgh. Now this is being pulled upwards

by a magnetic attraction between it and that metal plate.

That's pulling that way, but when the teams hang objects off it,

gravity is pulling them that way. Now for a while,

the magnetic attraction pulling that way will be sufficient,

but at some point, when this gets too heavy,

the pull that way is going to overcome the pull that way

and it'll all fall apart.

Up to the team to judge it. Right, teams

you've had a bit of time to talk tactics.

Yellows, you're in the lead at the moment at 1-0,

so you get to decide. Do you want to go first or second?

-First please.

-You want to go first. OK, well, let's get on with this.

Make your choice, choose an object, Yellows.

OK, oh, they're going for the fishing net.

'OK. The fishing net is actually the lightest item,'

weighing only 200g. OK, the first move has been made.

'At just 500g, the wrench is the second lightest item.'

-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh.

-Away you come.

-Too heavy.

-Ooh, you've picked it now.

Some careful play from George for the Yellow Team.

'The clamp weighs 800g, bringing the total so far to 1.5kg,

'and the magnet's showing no signs of weakening.

'What will the Reds pick next?'

Ooh, they've gone for the mallet. 'Which weighs 1 kg.'

-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh.

It's taken by the magnet, there you go, Connor, nice one.

Gone for the dustbin lid, it's a biggy.

'But not the heaviest, it only weighs 1 kg.'

There you go, there you go.

'The weight's really starting to build now, we're at 3.5 kg.'

They've gone mallet, dustbin lid, Wellington boot.

Classic play from the Reds.

-AUDIENCE:

-Ooooh.

Easy.

-AUDIENCE:

-Yeah!

'Ryan steps forward with the silver bucket,

'our fifth heaviest item, weighing 1.2 kg.'

-AUDIENCE:

-Oooh.

Success, there you go.

'The Reds have gone for the hammer. Weighing only 700 grams.'

Connor performing a hang for his team-mates.

Executing a neat hang, but will it work?

Yes! Well done, well done, nice play. Well done.

'The magnet is holding 6.2kg,

'and there's only one item left which weighs less than a kilo.'

And they've gone for the foot pump. 'Good pick, Yellows, that's it.'

'Will the magnet be able to support its added 800g?'

He's done the hang, now he does the release,

and the magnet takes the weight.

You could cut the atmosphere in the lab with a knife right now.

Some earnest chat at this point in the game.

The team wondering how they're going to answer the Yellows' move.

Abigail picks up the bicycle wheel for the Reds.

'And it weighs a whopping 2kg.'

Hang it at the side. Like... turn it round. Yeah, like that.

-Try and hang it on something...

-Some advice from her team mates.

-Can we hang it on things?

-Don't.

-You can hang it on things

as long as it's not touching the ground, that's all that matters.

-Gently.

-Stepping forward bravely with the wheel.

-AUDIENCE:

-Oooh.

-She's got it hooked.

Now can it take the weight?

Ooh, nice play from the Reds.

Ooh hoo. Yellows under massive pressure now.

Just some heavyweight stuff to choose from, Yellows.

The tool box is going to be heavy. But that's a five litre one...

'It's a crucial decision here,

'and let's hope they don't pick the tool box,

'as it's the heaviest item weighing 2.7kg.

'Oh, no, will this be a disastrous choice for the Yellow Team?

'Will the magnet be able to hold the added weight?'

Have the yellows made a mistake with this heavy choice?

'After all, the magnet is already holding 9kg.'

Hang it from the top. Nice one.

-Ooh, struggling to get in with that.

-AUDIENCE:

-Ooooh.

-CRASH

-Bad luck, George. Bad luck, Yellows.

It's gone, that means the Reds win.

The magnet managed to hold up 9kg

but the added 2.7kg of the tool box was too much,

bringing it crashing to the ground.

That means the score now is one-all. It's a draw right now.

That game was fun,

but hanging hooks on a magnet isn't exactly rocket science.

I fancy something that really is rocket science.

Lab Rats aren't very good at thinking for themselves.

Well, they can do the basics,

like knowing when they're hungry, happy or tired,

and these three usually come one after the other.

When they realise they're hungry, they eat, that makes them happy

and then they just fall asleep.

But outside of these things they need help in knowing what to do

in the day, and that help comes in the form of lists, a lot of lists.

But this list is nothing compared to the one Ninja Nan gives them

for the lab's weekly shop.

Nan isn't happy that Lab Rats take so long to get the food shopping,

so she's called an expert to help speed things along.

Hello, I'm a rocket expert.

This is the principal lecturer for Rocketry and Aerospace Design

at the University of Hertfordshire.

With these rockets we hope to speed up the Lab Rats' shopping trip,

but the expert has left it up to the Lab Rats

to choose the fuel for their rockets.

We're looking for high calorific food here.

The higher the calorie content of the food,

the more energy can be released when it's burnt.

The Lab Rats have chosen cheese,

toffee

and burger.

But surely, they can't drive a rocket?

I think we need an animation.

To make a rocket all we need is a fuel, which is a thing that burns,

and an oxidizer, which helps the fuel to burn.

Here we're going to use the food as our fuel.

For the food to fuel our rocket successfully

it needs to burn really quickly

and produce enough hot gases to rush out the back of the rocket

with sufficient force to launch our trolley forwards.

But which one of the three foods will make the best rocket fuel?

Hold the experiment right there. There's a point up for grabs.

The score is one-all, so it'd be nice, wouldn't it, to get a decider?

I will give that point to the team

that tells me which food will make the best rocket fuel.

You've got a choice of three - burgers, cheese and toffee,

and it's based around the calorie content, you heard it said there,

which is how much energy is in the food.

But don't forget, that energy has to be got out and burnt,

so which food is going to let that energy out the most effectively

to turn it into rocket fuel?

This really is rocket science. Reds, what do you think?

-Toffee.

-Yellows?

-Burger.

-Burger.

So burger from the Yellows, toffee from the Reds.

This could be a decider. If one of those two foods turns out

to be the most useful here, that team will go into the lead.

Let's find out.

We're here to find out which of the three foodstuffs chosen by

our Lab Rats makes the best alternative rocket fuel -

cheese, burgers or toffee.

Well, there's no point messing about, let's get on with it.

Normally, cheese melts when it's heated,

but will our rocket expert's rocket

convert it to forward motion and speed? Let's find out.

Three, two, one...

..blast off!

Ooh, we have movement. The trolley is being propelled along the runway,

but it must be said, not very fast, and not very far.

Right, onto the next fuel, toffee.

Can the sugar fix turn into rocket power, or will it all end in tears?

Three, two, one...

..blast off. Well, the rocket is shooting along the runway.

In fact, it's had a sugar crash

as the trolley simply can't keep upright and has fallen to its side.

Thankfully it had no shopping in it this time.

Lastly, we have burger.

Will this king of fast foods propel the shopping trolley

at lightning speeds along the runway, making it

ideal for Ninja Nan's shopping delivery? Let's find out.

three, two, one...

..blast off.

Well, that'd be a no, then.

The burger fuel converts into a bit of gas, and no movement whatsoever.

Total distance zero metres.

So of all the foodstuffs we converted into rocket fuel,

the clear winner

and only suitable fuel to propel Ninja Nan's shopping trolley is...

toffee.

Well...

..it's a clear result and I heard a little, "oh, no," from the Yellows

as the burger failed completely.

The winner was toffee.

The Reds take the point,

it's 2-1 right now.

Well done Reds, sorry Yellows,

but it's not all over yet. You need to get changed into

protective suits, ready for the Messy Messy Mess Test.

Well done teams, and the score currently 2-1 to the Reds.

And now it's time for...

Which features this, my bungee powered catapult.

I invented this to investigate

if cats travelling at the speed of sound still land on their feet.

A long detailed answer published in

the latest journal of Advanced Feline Aerodynamics is... No.

So now I just use the catapult to fire prize pods over my septic tank.

The teams have to get these prize pods across the tank,

into the prize zone at the end.

The team that gets the most there wins,

and they will win the prizes written on those pods.

But there is a twist.

One person from each team is in the gunge, they have two jobs,

firstly to intercept the opposing team's prize pods

as they travel across the tank,

and secondly to return their own team's prize pods to the baskets

for collection and firing by the bungee operator.

Each team can also choose to fire...these.

They are...

Giant Hands Of Glory.

Yup. These can be used to stop the opposing team's prize pods

more efficiently, but it takes up valuable bungee time to fire them,

because obviously you could be firing a prize pod at the same time.

So it's up to you, teams, to decide when to go with those, if at all.

Right, Reds, you're in the lead, so you have a five second head start.

Yellows, only begin when you hear the second claxon.

You have some time to get as many prize pods across the tank

and into the prize zone as possible, and that some time starts,

-are you ready? Now!

-CLAXON HONKS

Taking aim for the Reds,

we have Connor.

CLAXON HONKS

There's the second siren.

Ryan in charge

of landing the prizes.

a perfect hit, immediately followed

by a perfect bounce

straight out of the prize zone, bad luck.

Oh, what's this?

Sounds like one of my robots, Alan,

has caught a cold again.

-SQUELCH

-Oh, Alan! Nasty!

AUDIENCE CHANTS

0Ooh, the prize zone

finally filling up,

two red and one yellow pod

now the score.

And another red.

ELECTRONIC HOOTING

It sounds like another batch

of robot snot is on the way as well.

Go, go, go, go, go!

I've no idea why it's pink.

That's probably something

I don't want to know, either.

Anyway, back to the game.

A lot of frantic firing going on,

but are they hitting the target?

Ooh, there is a Yellow hit,

it's 3-2 to the Reds,

it's still anyone's game

at this point.

Huge amounts of activity,

very little to show for it,

but an A for effort, certainly.

A sea of pods now floating

in the tank.

Come on teams,

plenty still to play for.

Ooh, and some fumbling there

from the Yellows.

Ooh, and a great block

from the Reds.

And there's the countdown.

-ALARM WHOOPS

-That is it.

Some time is up.

And now we must add 'em up.

Lab Rats, for the Reds, how many do we have, please?

Four prize pods for the Reds. For the Yellows?

Two. That means it's a win for the Reds.

It's a win for the Reds.

Sorry, Yellows, I'm sorry.

So, let's see what you've won.

Each of you taking home a flying UFO, nice.

-A skeleton model, oh, yeah.

-AUDIENCE:

-Woo!

A projector watch.

And a transforming ball.

So, Yellows, now the slightly tricky bit,

we have to look at what you would've won.

Let's have a look. Ninja Nan, ready? Lab rat, what've we got?

A radio controlled spider,

-that could've been handy.

-AUDIENCE:

-Ahh!

-Yeah, I know.

-Projector watch.

-AUDIENCE:

-Ahh!

That would've been nice.

There's a tradition on Blast Lab.

Only one team can take their fabulous prizes home.

Well, the other team can, but it would take ages to find the pieces

after they've blown them up, because it is time for Bidet Goes Bang.

Well done, Reds, all of this lot coming home with you, nicely played.

Yellows, there's only one thing to do now,

it's time to put your best foot forward,

and then your worst foot, and then your best foot,

and then... basically we're walking.

It's time for the walk of shame.

Follow me guys, come on.

-Come on.

-AUDIENCE:

-Ah!

Let's give 'em a pat on the back.

No, don't pat me, I'm all right, I haven't lost.

Don't pat me, I'm fine, it's them.

I'm fine. Right, come on, Yellows.

Right then, lads, you know the drill.

If you'd like to lift the handle, let's get this done.

Five, four, three, two, one.

BOOM! AUDIENCE CHEERS

-Well played, Yellows. Thanks for coming in.

-Thank you.

So today we've had some fun with magnets

and seen a cheese-powered shopping trolley.

Tell your friends, cos believe me,

it's unlikely you'll ever use that sentence again in your life.

-Thanks for joining me. Bye-bye.

-AUDIENCE CHEERS

Sorry, lads.

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