Episode 2 Sam & Mark's Big Friday Wind Up

All right - the crew are here... the slime is prepped,

that turntable is oiled. We, my friend, are good to go!

I'm just going to check on today's guest Jack Carroll.

Yeah, yeah, about that. I'm not happy about it.

We don't need a comedian on our show - I'm the funny one!

I can do this, yeah?

Mark - he is kind of a big deal!

He did come second on Britain's Got Talent, David Walliams

said he was comedy genius, he's a right laugh!

You're having a laugh... You know what...

if Jack Carroll was here right now, I'd tell him

to his face that we don't need him.

It's OUR programme and I'M the funny one.

Well, I am here...

Oh, this is awkward...

Erm.. er... ha-ha-hah... Good gag, aye, Jack!

Us comedians have got to stick together! Run the titles...

Oh...!

# Wind me up, put me down

# Start me up and watch me

# It's easy...

# Once you know how it's done

# You can't stop... #

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Ladies and gentlemen...

It's Big Friday Wind Up!

My name is James and I'm here to introduce your hosts -

brilliant, amazing, hilarious

are just three words that have never been used to describe them.

It's Sam

and Mark!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Yeah...!

Look at 'em, look at 'em...!

CHEERING

ALL: WELCOME TO THE WEEKEND!

Yes, it's that time again.

I hope you are all ready for the show

where you can expect to see faces like this...

LAUGHTER

This...

LAUGHTER

And maybe even this...! Ahh!

LAUGHTER

On tonight's show someone in our studio audience will be

coming face-to-face with their embarrassing past.

ALL: Wooo!

Yeah.

You will see Union J as you have never seen them before.

Don't believe me...? Take a look at this...

You ordered drinks...?

Oh, no, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

-Are you OK, sir?

-No, not really, mate.

Not really.

I'm so sorry...

LAUGHTER

A bit wet, mate, no!

I'm so sorry, sir.

You do not want to miss that.

Comedian and BGT finalist Jack Carroll will also be joining us...

CHEERING

And that's not all...we will also have music from Elyar Fox!

I tell you what, we're good to you lot...speaking of which,

I think it's time to meet our studio audience!

It's tiny, it's tiny, tiny.

Thank you, thank you.

I am going to come and speak to someone and the person I

am going to come and speak to is...

you, Jasmine.

-How you doing?

-Good!

-Are you enjoying the show so far?

-Yeah!

-You've got a lovely smiley face.

-Yeah!

Now, I've heard that your mum Sonia is embarrassing.

-Very!

-What does she do that's embarrassing?

Well, about two years ago she went in a pantomime called

Dick Whittington that me and my friend were also in

and she went on stage and she was doing the can-can.

-What?! Is this mum Sonia over here?

-Yeah.

-That's embarrassing,

why did you ruin that moment for her?

I don't know...!

LAUGHTER

She looks pretty embarrassed now, anyway,

so well done for that, Jasmine, Mark...?

Can you beat that?

I will try my very best, Sam, that's all I can do.

Look at these faces, eh. "Don't come to me, Mark, don't come to me!"

LAUGHTER

I am, actually, going to speak...

Oh... to you, Sam. How are you doing, mate?

-Fine.

-Yeah? Good. You enjoying the show so far?

-Yeah.

Brilliant, now, er...

-I hear you've got an embarrassing dad.

-Yeah.

Is that him over there, I am going to say hello.

-What's your name, mate.

-Will.

-Will, Will!

And, Sam, why is your dad so embarrassing?

Every morning he wakes up with my little sister

-and starts singing in the shower.

-No!

LAUGHTER

-Oh!

-Wakes up me and my mum every morning.

And, Sam, can your dad sing?

-No.

-Oh! And is this your mate?

-Is this your mate, what's his name?

-Yeah. Ben.

-Ben.

How are you doing, Ben, are you all right?

-All right.

-Have you heard this singing as well?

-Mm.

Oh! And can you testify? Is he not a very good singer?

-He is not good at all.

-Oh!

LAUGHTER

Dad, how embarrassing. What have you got to say for yourself?

-I'm not going to stop.

-He's not going to stop, Sam,

can you do any better than that?

I'm going to try my best, mate, cos I'm going to come and speak to...

You, Astrid...

How are you doing, are you all right?

-Yeah.

-You OK?

Now, a little birdie tells me that you are a big fan of

a certain show called Strictly Come Dancing.

-Is that right?

-Yeah.

-Yeah. Nice.

And it's not just you, as well?

I hear you and your mum like to dress up when Strictly's on?

LAUGHTER

-Is that true?

-Yeah.

-Excellent stuff, nothing wrong with that,

it's a great show. Where is your mum today?

Erm... well, she's somewhere...

-at work, I think.

-She's at work, is she?

Well, what a shame because your mum is

going to miss out on a very

special message from Anton du Beke

Take a look at this...

ALL: Ooo!

Hi, Astrid, it's me Anton du Beke from Strictly Come Dancing!

I think it's great that your mum puts on a wedding dress

and dances along to Strictly.

I, for one, would love to see that. Oh, yes! Would you?

ALL: Yes!

Well, you can! Let's hear it for Astrid's mum...

Take it away, Tyra.

ANNOUNCER: Dancing the Wedding Dance, please welcome Astrid's mum, Tyra!

APPLAUSE

MUSIC: "Strictly Come Dancing Theme"

CHEERING

LAUGHTER

CHEERING

Tyra, come here, you!

That was absolutely fantastic.

That was so, so good. What did you think of that, Astrid?

No!

LAUGHTER

I tell you what I thought of it...

I though it was a SEV-EN!

CHEERING

Not bad.

Well, now's your chance to get your own back, you need to get ready.

And Astrid, you need to come with me,

because it's time to play Mum-Pin Bowling!

APPLAUSE

Welcome to Mum-Pin Bowling... It's just like ten-pin bowling...

But instead of a ball, we're going to be using Astrid's MUM!

Astrid, are you ready to see your mum like you've never seen

her before?

-Yeah.

-Audience - are you ready?!

ALL: Yes!

All right! In that case...

BOTH: Bring on the mum!

MUSIC: "Fly Away" by Lenny Kravitz

APPLAUSE

LAUGHTER

Tyra, how are you feeling?

Fantastic!

CHEERING

OK, Astrid. This is a very simple game.

You have to use the controls in front of you to determine how

far back your mum goes before we release her...

-Understand?

-Yeah.

-HE CHUCKLES

-She's getting shot, look!

If Tyra manages to get all the skittles down in one go...

A strike!

-Or two goes...

-A spare!

Then Astrid will win a prize!

CHEERING

But if she doesn't... Astrid gets to foam her, anyway.

-So either way, you're a winner.

-All right!

But wait - that's not all!

You may have noticed there's one very special golden skittle.

ANGELIC SINGING

If that gets knocked down,

every member of our studio audience wins a prize.

CHEERING

I knew you'd like that.

OK, Mum, going to turn you round so you're facing the skittles.

SHE LAUGHS

Come on you, give us a cuddle!

Ahh!

Turn you round.

Don't tickle her feet, Sam.

I won't, I won't, OK.

-We're ready.

-Let's get on with it, then.

Astrid, it's time to wind up your mum! Go on!

Audience, where shall we take her?

SHOUTING INSTRUCTIONS

Luminites - where should she take her?

ALL: To the top.

-OK, Astrid, are you happy with where your mum is?

-Yeah.

-LAUGHTER

-I don't think she is. Let's do it.

OK, get your hands on this, Astrid, here we go, in...

three, two, one... ALL: Release the mum!

CHEERING

-Not bad at all.

-She's coming back!

Don't worry about that, you've managed to get nine skittles

down and the golden skittle!

CHEERING

A candy bracelet for everyone, hurrah!

-Tyra, you have one last chance to get that last skittle down.

-OK.

If you do that, Astrid will win a prize.

So, what are we waiting for, it's time...

ALL: Wind up your mum!

Go, that way!

Audience, where shall she take her?

ALL: UP!

Go on, Sam, go and help her out.

-Are you happy, Astrid?

-Yeah.

-Hi.

-I'm going to give you a little push on this one

-to give you a little hand.

-You can do it, you can do it!

On my cue...

in three, two, one...!

CHEERING

Release the mum!

Go on, get it, come on...!

CHEERING

That is a spare!

Which means you've won tonight's star prize, a digital camera!

CHEERING

And, you know what, because we're mean we're going to

let you foam her anyway. Bring on The Foaminator!

Come on!

CHEERING

Poor old, Tyra, you thought you were going to have a nice, nice easy day!

-All right. Nice spare there, Mum.

-Very good.

-OK, hold that.

-Oh, dear. I'm getting out of the way.

-Are you all right, Tyra.

-Yeah.

HE LAUGHS

This is for the dancing, sorry, you brought it on yourself, really.

OK, in three, two, one...

release the foam!

CHEERING

You got her! You got her!

-Nice work.

-How are you feeling, Tyra?

-Still fantastic.

LAUGHTER

That's what we like to hear!

CHEERING

Hey, Astrid, remember...

keep foaming! Not that!

SEV-EN!

-Have you had a good day?

-Yea.

-Excellent.

Let's hear it for Astrid and Tyra, everyone.

CHEERING

But right now, it's time to meet our special guest, Jack Carroll!

Come on!

CHEERING

Absolute legend.

Thanks for being on the show.

-Seamless!

-Did you like that?

High-five and all.

All of it. It started well...

-A good start.

-..it's only going to get worse from here.

-Exactly.

-You're not wrong! lovely to have you on the show, mate.

-Lovely to be here.

-Brilliant.

You shot to fame on Britain's Got Talent 2013 - where you came second.

-Yeah.

-Amazing.

-Pretty good, that.

CHEERING

Er, you don't need to labour the coming second...

SLAUGHTER

No, I'm only joking.

Jack, what made you want to become a comedian in the first place?

Erm, I think because I'm lazy and I enjoyed watching comedy,

-so, I thought...

-Really?

LAUGHTER

..what's the best thing to do with that?

Have you performed in front of any big names?

I've had a few mad gigs.

Erm, I got to do a gig at the Olympic Park.

-Oh!

-Really?

-Yeah, I did. I got to do a gig there.

It's good, is the Olympic Park, but for ten million quid I would

have at least expected a swing.

LAUGHTER

Come on, I...

-I think that's a fair comment!

-Yeah.

Speaking of such, what would you say is... what's the secret

to telling a good joke?

Er, fat little face!

LAUGHTER

I've got that, mate!

Lovely, I think you're sorted, then.

LAUGHTER

I don't know if there is a secret, I mean, you know...

it's all about taste, I think.

OK, we're about to find out cos we're going to go into the audience

and going to get some of our audience to try and

-make Jack laugh.

-Oh!

-Who's got a joke?

-Hey.

-Who wants to tell a joke? Right at the top...

-Go on.

-Right, we're going right to the top.

-Here we go, here we go. Stand up, what's your name?

-Ashia.

Ashia, what's your joke?

Three men were sliding down a rainbow and then one said

"Gold!" so they landed in gold. The next one said "Silver!"

so they landed in silver. And the other one said, "Weee...!"

CHEERING

-What do you think of that, mate?

-Erm...

It's... it's actually a true fact, that.

LAUGHTER

There were three men one day sliding down a rainbow...

-Absolutely.

-..and for us to laugh at it I think is appalling.

LAUGHTER

OK, we'll do one more. Stand up, mate, what's your name?

-Josh.

-Josh, tell us your joke, Josh.

-One day a kid said,

"Please may I go to the toilet?"

The teacher said "No, as long as you tell me your ABC."

So, he said out the alphabet, A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,

I,J,K,L,M,N...

Q,R,S,T,U,

V,W,X,Y and Z.

And then Miss said, "Where's the P?"

And he said, "Halfway down me leg!"

CHEERING

-What do you think of that one?

-True story taken out of context,

unfortunately we do have to laugh at it.

LAUGHTER

-Some good jokes.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-ALL: Well done!

What else is next for you, then? What's next for Jack Carroll?

Just keeping on doing what I'm doing if they'll let me.

And if not then, er, you know, just be lazy without a reason.

LAUGHTER

-Keep doing what you're doing. We love you.

-Fantastic.

-Thank you.

-You are welcome.

-Cheers.

-Give it up for Jack Carroll, everyone.

CHEERING

Right now, though, let's go and meet some more friends of ours,

let's go...

CHEERING

Ladies and gentlemen - please say hello to Niamh and Jessica.

Hello, girls.

Nice to see you.

Welcome to the show. Are you having fun?

BOTH: Yes! Fantastic!

Now, we played a little surprise on you two not so long ago

-and it involved a certain boyband, didn't it?

-Uh-hm.

-Who was that?

BOTH: Union J!

Niamh tell me how much do you like Union J?

-Do you need to ask that question?

-LAUGHTER

Well, I don't, cos I know but I want to ask you again - big time?

Big time, never, ever better.

-No-one's ever better.

-Really? Best boyband in the world, you'd say?

Interesting.

Well, me and Mark knew that and so we got your dad in on the act

and he brought you to London and we played a little surprise

Wind Up on you girls when you least expected it!

LAUGHTER

Girls do the honours, then, camera number two, please...?

BOTH: Run VT!

Hello, there. I'm in London to surprise two

massive Union J fans Niamh and Jessica.

Now, this is going to be the best Wind Up ever cos

not only am I armed with some great comedy disguises

I've also got Union J with me,

what could possibly go wrong, eh?

SHOUTING

The girls think they're in London to do some sightseeing

but what they don't know is, the cab they're about to jump into

isn't just any old cab. It's loaded with our hidden cameras

and cab driver Johnny is also in on the Wind Up.

DAD: South Bank.

South Bank, sir, yeah.

- You all right? - Yeah.

Fantastic.

Now, obviously, we need to get the girls here,

so it's a good job I've left my phone in their cab.

CHATTERING

PHONE RINGS

Excuse me, is that the phone at the back?

Oh...!

Is it on the back of your seat?

-Yeah, I think it is.

-- Oh my... - One of you guys answer that...

-Hello?

-Hello?

-Oh, thank goodness for that, you found my phone,

thank you so much. Who's this?

-This is Niamh.

-Hi, thank you ever so much.

My name's Mark, you might know me from er...

world-famous duo Sam and Mark from CBBC.

Is there any chance you could bring my phone to me?

-I'm expecting a lot of calls.

-Yeah.

-Oh, thank you ever so much.

The taxi driver will know where I am because, obviously, I've left my

-phone in there, is that all right?

-Yes.

-Cheers, Niamh.

Thank you very much, I'll see you in a bit, thank you. Bye.

It's Sam from Sam and Mark.

It's Mark, but... whatever...

LAUGHTER

Who is it...?

The girls are on their way so, it's time for me and Union J

to get ready.

Right, lads, this is how it's going to work...

I'm going to try and convince the girls that

they are participating in one of my shows I'm doing on my own

called Teen Dream TV Superstars. I've got rid of Sam.

-Good shout.

-Good shout.

-LAUGHTER

So, while I'm interviewing them, you, one-by-one are

going to come in and you're going to try and not be recognised.

I'm going to give you some comedy disguises. It's not very easy

because in each of these envelopes are different challenges

that you each need to do while I'm doing the conversation,

-understand?

-Yeah, get it.

Ah, see! Not so confident now, are you?!

All right, then, lads let's do it.

-ALL: Let's do it.

-Go on, you get that.

The cab's just arrived and there's Jessica and Niamh

who think they're here to give me my mobile phone back.

What they don't know is that Union J have got

their disguises on and will be watching all the action unfold

from the room next door.

KLAXON BLARES

-Here they come...

-They've got no idea...

All right. Oh, nice to meet you. I'm Mark, oh, thank you so much!

LAUGHTER

I tell you what, I've been doing so many interviews all day...

How is Mark going to keep a straight face?

I'm doing a new show for CBBC, it's called Teen Dream TV Superstars.

And it's about super fans. Are you up for a quick interview?

-You sure?

-Yeah.

She actually thinks this is a real interview.

I've been interviewing people about who they're fans of...

like boybands et cetera, so, who do you...?

-Union J.

-Union J. We haven't done one for Union J, have we?

Oh, amazing. OK.

'So, the cameras are rolling, away we go...'

Got Niamh and Jessica, who are my super fans on MY show...

THEY GIGGLE

-..called Teen Dream TV Superstars.

-Yes!

-Yes!

Awesome, now, you're big fans of Union J which is amazing...

'But it's going to get even more amazing

'because JJ's about to find out what his challenge is...'

I'm a janitor.

"You've got to empty the bin and get the word butternut squash in

-"before you leave."

-Here he comes...

I wonder if the girls will recognise him?

When did you first start to like Union J?

IMITATES IRISH ACCENT: Oh, hello guys.

I'm really sorry, I have to empty the bin, like.

OK, carry on, we're just doing an interview.

I've always wanted to be on TV.

-Mate? Mate?

-Hello. I'm really sorry.

-OK, cool.

-Really sorry.

-OK.

-Go crazy about the butternut squash.

Do you know why the lads are called Union J?

Because they're all...all their names begin with J.

Butternut squash down here, like!

If it's possible, can you do that after? Cos we're

actually filming something at the minute, all right?

I'm really sorry. I'll leave this bin here, like.

OK, thank you, everyone.

Sorry, sorry, I'm really sorry, everyone.

Did you cut that? Did you cut that there?

JJ has done really well not to be recognised.

Next up, it's Jaymi.

He's proper flustered me, actually.

-SHE LAUGHS

-Do you know...

So, I need to be lost tourist. Should I do Australian?

-Australian, yeah.

-OK, Australian tourist.

"Ask for directions to Leicester Square."

You can't say Leicester Square like that.

ALL: Li-chester Square. Li-chester.

This is a stupid question, I'm going to ask it anyway.

Erm, are they good live?

-BOTH: Yeah.

-On tour they went really high up.

High as in singing high? Or doing...?

IMITATES AUSTRALIAN ACCENT: I'm really sorry, guys,

this is where my tour party was supposed to be meeting.

-Sorry, we're filming.

-Are they famous?

-Guys, can I have a photo of you, can I have a photo?

-Yeah.

Are you famous? Can I get a photo?

-No, sorry, mate. Sorry.

-Could you tell me which way to go to

-Li-chester Square, is it...?

-Li-chester...?

-You mean Leicester Square?

-Leicester/Li-chester Square?

I'm from Australia, I don't even know where I'm going.

-Crikey, mate!

-You're actually...

-Could you tell me on the map...?

Yeah... it's... er....

somewhere, there, do you know where it is, girls?

-I'll find somebody else.

-OK.

-You're obviously no good, mate,

-I'll see you later.

-Later.

-Did you hear that?

-What?

-He said you were no good.

-What?!

LAUGHTER Did they guess?

I hope somebody escorts him off the premises, there.

SHE LAUGHS

So, where was I? If Union J were a colour what would they be?

-A colour?

-Yeah.

'The girls appear to have no idea that they've just met two

'members of Union J,

'so, let's send in Josh as a grumpy caretaker.'

Union J, according to me, would be red.

HE MUTTERS

'The girls are looking pretty suspicious,

'will they rumble Union J?'

Mate, I asked your mate not to...

what are you doing?

Would you leave, please? We're doing a...

SHE LAUGHS

'They didn't say anything so the Wind Up continues...'

Will you get security?

-All right...

-She loved it.

On the floor as well...

I'll have to wash me hands, after...

'That's 3-0 to Union J, could the boys actually get away with this?

-'It's all down to George...'

-I'm a waiter.

Girls, what would you do if you met them?

-Scream.

-I would faint.

-Really?!

-Yeah.

-I would hide behind that!

-No, you wouldn't! Really?

-Well, because they're so amazing!

-They are pretty cool.

"Bring in a tray of drinks and spill them in Mark's lap"!

Brilliant, I guess these are the drinks...?

What would you ask them if you saw them.

Gosh, I don't know. Erm...

'Well, you'd better think quick because here comes George...'

-Wish me luck.

-Good luck.

-You've got them in your sights,

they are right there, like...

'Will the girls finally rumble Union J?'

Yeah, you would ask them so many things but when you meet them...

DOOR KNOCKS Room service, room service...

You can come in.

'Oh, has George given the game away?'

-IMITATES EAST EUROPEAN ACCENT: Ordered drinks?

-Yeah.

Oh! I'm so sorry, oh, no!

LAUGHTER

So sorry!

-Are you OK, sir?

-No, not really, mate.

-I do my thing.

-So sorry, so sorry.

-Bit wet, mate.

-Come here.

-No.

-I'm so sorry, sir.

-It's George!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Yeah!

Are you all right, Niamh?

You have been smarked for Sam and Mark's Big Friday Wind Up

-on CBBC.

-We're going to be on...?

You are. You are, indeed!

Hello, there.

CHEERING

I have got to say, lads, you were absolutely fantastic.

HE LAUGHS

'With the girls well and truly smarked Niamh and Jessica

'get to spend some quality time with Union J.

'And tell them what they really thought about the Wind Up.'

They were terrible disguises.

LAUGHTER

It was amazing to have you in the room there.

There's no word to describe it.

You're the best band ever!

That was great...

Couldn't be better.

What do you think of our acting then, girls?

-Erm, well...

-It was OK.

LAUGHTER

So, there's only one thing left to do.

ALL: Back to the studio!

CHEERING

Girls, so tell us, how amazing was it to finally meet Union J?

Amazing!

LAUGHTER

-You were nearly crying there, Niamh!

-I'm crying again!

Very emotional time, it was...!

At what point did you get suspicious?

-Um, I think it was the first one.

-The first one.

- She kind of whispered to me - "It's them."

And I was, like, "It's who?" and then

Josh came in and I was a bit, like...

"I know who this is, now" and then George came in and we were like,

-"Yeah."

-Well, you were right, they were terrible disguises, to be fair.

LAUGHTER

It was the accents as well. I was like, "Really, really, really?!"

-Jaymi's accent was quite good.

-It was. Not bad.

-Agreed.

-And, girls,

you got to hang out with them, what was that like?

BOTH: Oh, awesome.

-Nice guys!

-Yes.

-Brilliant.

-I love the group hug.

-CHUCKLING

-You like that?

-Ten group hugs!

LAUGHTER

I've got to say, mate, that TV show you were presenting sounded

-horrendous.

-Well, you would!

-What was it? TV Dreams?!

-I can't even remember any more.

-It was so fake!

-LAUGHTER

It was. It did the job, girls.

Girls it has been an absolute pleasure...

Ladies and Gentleman please put your hands

together for Niamh, Jessica and the Union J guys!

CHEERING

What a cracking Wind Up and we're only just getting started.

There's still all of this to come...

The Finger Of Fun is back to surprise a member of our studio audience.

Elyar Fox performs live in the studio.

And two more families try to avoid a good sliming in Rotation!

CHEERING

The top story tonight... the boys are back,

Sam and Mark fever is taking the world by storm.

Sam and Mark are shamrocking Ireland right now.

Sam and Mark's Big Friday Wind Up...

-US ACCENTS:

-Breaking news this morning...

Kimberly, we have huge news, the very famous Sam and Mark are back!

The very popular show with even more pranks and hilarity

taking the world by storm.

Hey, we even know about them across the pond...

HE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

THEY SPEAK OWN LANGUAGE

HE SPEAKS WELSH

SCOTTISH ACCENT: The big man and the wee man, Sam and Mark.

THEY SPEAK IN OWN LANGUAGES

AUSTRALIAN ACCENT: Sam and Mark are making waves down under.

THEY SPEAK OWN LANGUAGES

US ACCENT: Sam and Mark are back.

-HUW EDWARDS:

-Tune in to get the weekend party started.

CHEERING

All right Jack? What you doing?

Hello, just working on my new comedy set...

Comedy set!

We can help you with that, we're dead funny us.

Yeah, imagine that...

Three comedy geniuses in one room!

That never happens!

I've got a great gag for you..

Listen to this...two elephants fall off a cliff....BOOM BOOM!!!

-That's a good one!

-You've not gone with that one, have you?

-Get it in your set.

-Ohh!

I've got one for you...

A cat, a dog and a mouse go on a picnic together...

-Yeah.

-Right.

-Then the mouse says to the dog.

-No, the mice said to the cat.

-Yeah.

Something about cheese or something...

Get it in your set!

Hey... the thing is with that it's not fully formed.

-You've missed out the bit that was actually supposed to be funny.

-Oh.

LAUGHTER

-You've just said some words and it's gone in your head.

-Yeah.

-Got any tips, then?

-Er...

I mean, you could do...

observational comedy, do you know what that is?

BOTH: Yeah!!

UNDER BREATH: No...

-Do you want me to explain?

-Please, yeah.

Observational comedy is, basically, when you take things

out of everyday life...

HE CHUCKLES

..that annoy people and then you tell that

to those people and they go, "Oh, yeah, it is like that."

-I can't do a whole set about Sam.

-Eh, watch it, you!

I know what you're talking about, things like waiting for a bus.

-Mm.

-I've got a great gag for you, get it in your set.

-So, I was waiting for a bus the other day and it was taking ages...

-Yeah.

No bus was coming then a bus came...

Eh...?

LAUGHTER

And I got on it.

I went to Rotherham.

Oh, Rotherham's quite funny but, I mean...

-Factuals, you see.

-Yeah.

-So, get it in your set!

-Do it!

So, any other...?

Again, you've sort of missed out the punch line.

What you should do is, right,

you should try and stick to physical comedy.

It's a cheap laugh, but it works for you.

LAUGHTER

How...dare...you!

-Jack Carroll...

-Unbelievable!

I have NEVER been so insulted in my entire life!

We're professionals - physical comedy?!

-Yeah...

-I don't think you'll see us doing physical comedy, my friend.

All right?

-Eh - ooh, have you...?

-Oh, what's happened?!

Come on, we're leaving! All right, mate?

SMACK!

Argh!

Now, that's funny.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...the Finger of Fun!

Yeah!

Touch me! Give me some skin! That's right, brother!

Finger, you are here to find us someone!

What are you waiting for? Go and find us someone!

# Who's it gonna be?

# Who's it gonna be?

# Who's it gonna be? #

Oh...ho!

-The Finger has found its target! What's your name?

-Dot Man.

-AKA Scott?

-Yeah.

-Interesting!

Scott, AKA Dot Man, get yourself down here,

because it's time to play The Prize Surprise!

Wahey! Nice work - ah!

-Scott, how you doing? You all right?

-Yeah.

-Good.

Have you any idea why we've brought you down here?

-Not at all.

-Not at all? OK.

Well, Scott, we've been doing our research

and found out quite a bit about you -

now, firstly, you have a nickname, don't you?

-Yeah.

-What is it?

-Dot Man.

-Dot Man.

-And the reason you're called Dot Man

is cos when you were born, you were pretty small.

-Yeah, I was five weeks' premature, so I was very small.

-Interesting.

We've actually got a little picture of you as a baby -

-let's take a look...

-Oh, no!

AUDIENCE: Aw!

-Lovely!

-Teeny tiny!

Little Dot Man!

-So, Dot Man, I believe you're a fan of Horrible Histories?

-Yes.

-Do you like it? Are you a big fan?

-I love it.

-We hear you are very good at The Monarch song?

-Yeah.

-Will you give us some of the Monarch Song right now?

-Come on.

# William, William, Henry, Stephen

# Henry, Richard, John - oi!

# Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich Two

# Then three more Henrys join our song

# Edward, Edward, Rich the Third

# Henry, Henry, Ed again

# Mary One, Good Queen Bess

# Jimmy, Charles and Charles and then

# Jim, Will, Mary, Anna Gloria

# George, George, George, George

# Will, Queen Victoria

# Edward, George, Edward, George Six

# Then Queen Liz Two completes the mix. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Well, based on your love of history, we thought we'd look into yours.

That's right, Scott - it's time to play Dot Man's Horrible History!

Right, this is how the game is going to work.

We are going to ask you a series of historical questions.

But there's a twist, as always!

These historical questions aren't about the history of the world.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Instead, they're about the history of YOU and YOUR life.

-Understand?

-I think so.

For each question you answer correctly,

you'll win a prize from the Wind Up prize stash.

AUDIENCE OOHS

-Are you ready for this?

-Yeah.

-That's the right answer - high-five.

-Awesome!

-OK, here we go.

First question - best of luck.

Your sisters used to dress you up

and put make up on you when you were younger,

but what did they call you?

S...Scottina.

Interesting, interesting...

Shall we check that answer with your sister,

who I believe is in the audience?

Sister, where are you?

-Hi, sister!

-Hi.

-Hello! How you doing, you all right?

-Yep.

-Is that right?

-That is right, yes.

-Yeah!

You know what?

-We've even got a picture of you dressed as Scottina.

-No!

Let's take a look...

Hey! There he is!

Aw, we've stitched him up, we've stitched him up right good!

Well done, though, that's one prize.

OK - time for question number two.

Take a look at this school report.

It's actually your school report, Dot Man.

What we want you to do is tell us the missing word at the end - Mark?

MARK READS OUT REPORT

Become more...what?

We've got some options for you.

Is it A - become more like a lion?

Is it B - become More-gan Freeman?

Or is it C - become more patient?

-C.

-Straight in there!

Not More-gan Freeman?

-C.

-Dot Man, before going any further,

sure your teacher didn't say

you were becoming more like More-gan Freeman?

SCOTT LAUGHS

I doubt it, cos I don't know who he is.

LAUGHTER

Didn't think you would - that was one for the mums and dads.

You're saying C?

-Yeah, C.

-OK...

-We can tell you...

-Oooh...

..that that's the right answer!

Wow! OK - more patient.

Doing well, mate, doing well.

That's two prizes - OK. Question number three.

When you were younger,

you had a habit of covering yourself in what?

Oh...

-Oh, dear.

-Think back, think back.

-Maybe there's photo evidence of it?

-Maybe...ha-ha!

I think it was...cream?

-Cream?

-Cream?

-You're saying cream.

I think we'll take that as answer.

It's absolutely...right!

Yes! Well done, well done!

Know how I said there may be some photo evidence of it?

There is - let's take a look.

Oh - hey!

Looks like you're got paint all over you!

All right, well, that does mean

that you have won three prizes from the Wind Up prize stash.

Well done!

Three out of three, mate, three out of three.

However, Dot Man, you can now risk those prizes

for tonight's star prize - and tonight's star prize

is tickets to see Horrible Histories stage show!

AUDIENCE OOHS

He likes that. He likes that a lot, Mark, I think.

Oh! I really want you to win.

OK...OK. All you have to do is answer one more question.

If you get that question correct,

you get to keep all the prizes and you get the tickets as well.

OK - it's up to you. You have a choice.

You have to tell us whether you want to stick or risk it.

Audience, what do you think? Stick or risk it?

AUDIENCE: Risk it!

-Go with the audience.

-You're going with the audience?

-And you are going to...?

-Risk it.

He's going to risk it!

I'm nervous. I'm nervous for him. I'm nervous for him.

OK - Dot Man, for your risk it question,

"Show Me The Mummy!"

ATMOSPHERIC MUSIC PLAYS

Ooh...

AUDIENCE OOHS

It's a bit weird, this.

Chimpy, watch that step.

-I don't think they can see where they're going.

-There we go.

Come on over, Mummy. Thank you, Chimpy.

-OK, perfect.

-Thank you very much. Cheers, Chimpy.

OK - now, all you have to do..is tell us who that person is

by listening to this clip - listen very carefully.

Hi, Dot Man - remember the time you were playing with the Lego

and you got in the box and got stuck?

-Ooh...

-Any idea who that is, Dot Man?

My teacher, Mrs Farrow.

-Your teacher, Mrs Farrow.

-Yeah.

We've got to take that as your first answer - I'm sorry.

-OK - well, it was his only answer.

-Yeah.

SAM LAUGHS

So, you're saying that that mummy there

-is your teacher Mrs Farrow.

-Yeah.

Not "Pharaoh", which could be mistaken...?

-Excellent banter.

-Yeah!

Mrs Farrow - OK, well, let's find out.

Is this Mrs Farrow?

It is!

-Hi, Mrs Farrow!

-Hello!

-Hiya! You look great!

-Thank you.

-Well done!

That means you win all those prizes you won earlier

and you win tonight's star prize -

tickets to the Horrible Histories stage show!

-Yes!

-Yes!

I was going to ask if you were happy with that,

but that jump told me everything I needed to know.

Ladies and gentleman, let's hear it for teacher Mrs Farrow,

Dot Man and his Horrible History!

OK, it's nearly time for us to come face to face

with a surprise of our very own,

but first, check out a Wind Up we did to our studio audience

before the show started.

When we say no-one is safe, we mean...no-one!

Watch out for Chimpy and his spider, audience!

BOING!

SCREAMING

BOING!

BOING!

BOING!

Argh!

GIRL SCREAMS

BOING!

It's now time for us to be wound up.

That's right - it's time to find out

what's waiting for us inside...The Truck Of Luck!

OK - there is someone or something inside this truck,

but Mark and I have no idea what.

No idea...whatsoever.

Here goes...

BOTH: Mystery guest, reveal yourself!

Hello!

I'm Itara and I'm a limbo dancer.

LAUGHING: Limbo!

Oh, no!

# Ole, ole, ole, ole

# Ole, ole, ole, ole

# Feelin' hot, hot, hot

# Feelin' hot, hot, hot

# Feelin' hot, hot, hot

# Feelin' hot, hot, hot... #

-No, no way!

-No way!

-No way!

No way! You're joking?

No...no...

Wha...?!

Oh, my...!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-That's amazing.

-Incredible.

-Thank you very much.

OK - what is our actual challenge, then?

Your challenge is to see how low you can go.

The person who goes lowest is the winner.

You have to take your shoes and socks off

and you get to go first.

Oh, really? OK. We can do that.

Whilst we take our shoes off, though,

-let's get to a bit of voting, shall we?

-Yes.

OK - studio audience, it's now time for you to vote

for who you think will be the best at this challenge.

Remember, if you get it right, there's a prize in it for you!

You've each got two cards - blue for me and pink for Mark.

Choose wisely, make your decision and...

BOTH: Raise your cards!

# Ole, ole, ole, ole

# Feelin' hot, hot, hot... #

-It's about 50/50, mate.

-It is about 50/50.

Oh! Argh...! Ah!

-OK, so...I'm going first, then?

-Yeah, but here's the rules.

-OK.

-If you touch the bar, you're out.

-Ooh...

-If you knock the bar off, you're out.

-OK.

Get close to the bar, open your feet,

bend your knees, lean backwards, and...shuffle on down.

-Good! You're doing it so good.

-Chimpy, can you hold this?

Ooh, look at these, as well! Ooh! Very la-di-da!

I do feel like I'm on holiday now.

You limbo on holiday, do you, Mark?

I...do all sorts, mate.

Right, let's get 'em on, get 'em on.

For your hands...there you go, there's on for you.

-Aw, thanks.

-And another one.

-OK, are we ready?

-Yeah!

-We good?

It looks pretty low already, when you get here.

Let's get some music - here we go!

# Do the limbo dance... #

Oh, I like it...yeah! OK, here we go.

-Go on...!

-Keep going, keep going...!

Oh!

# Let's go to Jamaica

# Flying to Montego Bay

# Let's go to Jamaica... #

Yeah!

# Maybe find a hideaway

# Let's go to Jamaica

# We can limbo on the sand

# To a steel drum band... #

That already seems really low.

# Everybody gets a chance

# Come on and move your body down

# Do the limbo dance... #

-Keep going!

-Oh, that's good!

Oh, no! Oh, no!

# It's party time

# Do the limbo dance... #

You can do it, you can do it - keep going, keep going...!

Oh, Mark's good!

You're joking, aren't you?

MARK LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY

Take a run - come on, Sam!

# Limbo good, limbo fine

# Everybody gets a chance

# Come on and move your body down

# Do the limbo dance... #

-He's going to do it!

-Keep going...

Yes!

Oh, no, I've got no chance!

This is on the floor!

# Everybody sing, now!

# Limbo, limbo dance. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Itara, so...

MARK LAUGHS UNCONTROLLABLY

So, you have to decide the winner. All over to you.

I think...you're the winner!

Yeah!

OK - that means it's a win for me,

and it's a win for everybody who voted for me - well done!

You lucky people will all receive a Sam and Mark wristband -

well done, guys, nice work!

Give it up for Itara, everybody! Thank you very much.

Possibly my favourite piece of telly that's ever been done!

Here's what else you can look forward to

from this series of Big Friday Wind Up - yeah!

BOTH: Welcome to the weekend!

ROARING AND SCREAMING

CBBC!

Hello!

SHE SCREAMS

No!

Yeah!

THEY SCREAM

Let's welcome back the Finger of Fun!

Touch! Finger, are you ready for some more pointing action?

-Yeah, course you are!

-You did such a good job last time.

Right now, you are here to choose us two families.

Yeah, one lucky family could be going home tonight

with tonight's star prize - a games console!

What are you waiting for?

Finger of Fun, find us our first family!

BOTH: # Who's it gonna be? #

CHEERING

BOTH: # Who's it gonna be?

# Maybe you, yeah! #

# Who's it gonna be, yeah? #

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

Yay!

OK, our first family has been chosen -

the Dring family, from Leicestershire!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-But who will they compete against?

-Finger, find us our second family!

Go!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

BOTH: # Who's it gonna be? Who's it gonna be?

We don't know yet.

BOTH: # Who's it gonna be?

Oh, oh, oh, oh oh-h-h-h!

It's the Chalampovich family, from Lancashire!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Right, you lucky, lucky people. Get yourselves down here, as we play...

BOTH: Rotation!

Come on down!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Rotation.

-We've got a giant turntable...

-..A series of general knowledge questions...

..And a tank, ready to be filled with slime.

That means there's only one thing left to do - meet our two families.

It's the Dring family! Yes!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Team captain, Beth, introduce the gang.

This is my sister Naomi, my mum, Jo, and my dad, Ed.

Tell us an interesting fact about yourselves.

When we were staying with my grandma, in Swansea, we went to this

swimming pool and my dad went on one of these flumes.

-And he fell out of his rubber ring and closed the whole slide...

-Dude!

That's embarrassing. Did you hurt yourself?

-Yeah, a little bit.

-Oh, no, that's not good.

-Bet his pride was hurt more than that.

-Yeah, true.

Good to have you here. Time to meet your opponents.

It's the Chalampovich family!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Team captain, Edward. All right, mate?

-Yep.

-Introduce the gang for us.

I'm Edward, this is my cousin Janek. This is my older cousin, Jack,

-and that's my dad, Alex.

-Excellent.

Tell us an interesting fact about yourselves?

Well, on Christmas Eve we celebrate Christmas, cos our name's Polish.

-Yeah.

-We have to eat beetroot soup.

-Oh, what's that like?

It's not very nice.

LAUGHTER

I love that you HAVE to eat it!

Like eating sprouts with your Christmas dinner.

-That's true.

-OK, this is how the game works.

-Up here is something that we like to call...

-..The Tank...

-..of Terror!

SCARY MUSIC

Yes, all through the game, this tank will be slowly filling up

-with slime.

-Meanwhile, our teams will be directly below it,

answering a series of questions.

If they get one right, they spin round, away from the tank.

and into the safe zone.

But if they continue to get them wrong, they stay right here in

-The Danger

-Zone!

The aim of the game is to stay out of this zone.

When the tank fills up to the black line...

..The team beneath will get covered in slime! That's right,

one team is going to covered, I'm sorry, but that's what happens.

OK, Dring family, you are going first. Best of luck.

Start the slime.

What are the names of the doctors in CBBC's Operation Ouch?

Oh, what are they called?

-You can pass, if you don't know.

-Pass.

How many U's are there in the word Portuguese?

-Two.

-Correct. Rotate.

-Amir Khan is famous for competing in what sport?

-Boxing.

-Correct.

-Rotate.

-The Luminites took part in which TV talent show?

-Britain's Got Talent.

-Correct. Rotate.

The Eiffel Tower is in which European city?

-Paris.

-Correct. Rotate.

What is a bicycle for two people known as?

-Tandem.

-Correct. Rotate.

Who was the fourth wife of Henry VIII?

-Erm...

-Pass.

-Take a guess?

-Don't you know? I don't know.

-Pass.

-OK, it was Anne of Cleves.

-Air Force One is an aeroplane used by

the holder of what position?

-You can pass.

-Pass.

-It's coming! It's the President of the USA.

What CBBC show pairs Rattus Rattus and Dave Lamb as presenters?

-Horrible Histories.

-Give you that. It's Horrible Histories: Gory Games.

OK, what is faster - the speed of sound or the speed of light?

-Speed of light.

-Correct. Rotate.

What address does the British Prime Minister live at?

-10 Downing Street.

-Correct. Rotate.

-The Olympic Games originated from which country?

-Greece.

Correct. Rotate.

AUDIENCE: Oh-h-h-h!

-Cocker, Springer and King Charles are all varieties of what?

-Dogs.

-Pass. Dogs, no?

-What is the name of Hobbit featured in the book and film

-of the same name?

-Dunno.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-It wasn't dogs. It was spaniel. It was the type of dog.

-Sorry.

We were looking for Bilbo Baggins.

Unfortunately, you got a bit slimed there.

-Shall we take a look at a slow-mo of that? I think we should.

-Yeah.

How are you feeling, guys?

Wet.

LAUGHTER

The Dring family go through to the final round.

I'll just tell them the good news. The Dring family, well done!

Go and get yourselves ready! Off you go! Go on!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

The Chalampovich family, you're not going home empty-handed.

-We're giving you Sam and Mark goody bags. Have you had a good day?

-Yeah!

We'll give you a towel, as well! Give it up for the Chalampovichs!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

All right! It is now time for the Drings to try and win

some amazing prizes, as we play Stuck On You.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Playing this game we have Naomi and Ed. How are you feeling, guys?

-Feeling good.

-Good.

Brilliant. Here are the rules.

The Wind-Up studio audience is armed with hundreds of balls.

Hold up your balls, everyone!

ALL: Whoooo!

You guys have to run around and catch as many of those balls as you can

using your sticky suits.

At the end of the game, we'll count up the balls

-and see what prizes you qualify for.

-More than 20 balls, represented by

this yellow line gets you all these lovely board games.

ALL: Ooh!

More than 40 balls, represented by this blue line,

gets you the games, plus cinema tickets for the family.

ALL: Ooh!

And more than 60 balls, represented by the red line,

gets you the board games, the cinema tickets and tonight's star prize,

a games console!

ALL: Ooh!

Yes, please, but hang on a minute!

There's one more thing. There's one golden ball.

If Naomi and Ed get this, they will win a very special prize,

this beautifully-crafted Friday Wind-Up mug!

ALL: Ooh!

I'm going to plant it in the audience. Who wants it?

Over there.

-OK, Naomi and Ed, are you ready?

-Ready.

-Excellent stuff.

-Jo and Beth, do you reckon they can do it?

-Definitely.

Guys, take your positions.

Good luck.

Audience, you know what to do. In three...two...one...

Let 'em have it!

KLAXON

Come on back!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Come on over.

-Come on over. Come on.

-Come this side.

-Here we go.

-Come over here, Ed.

-You've done SO well.

-Very well, indeed. We could be here some time.

Right. Come on.

Oops, sorry, buddy.

That's the board games!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Quick, Sam!

That's the cinema tickets!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Can we make it a full house?

Let's have a look. Nearly.

Oh, we're going to get it!

Oh, oh, oh!

BOTH: Yes!

And there's still loads!

Congratulations, guys. You've managed to get more than 60 balls,

which means you've got all of the prizes!

They're still putting them in!

And you won't believe it,

you've only gone and caught the golden ball, too,

which means, you've won the Sam and Mark mug! Get in there!

-Guys, have you had a good day?

-Yes, thank you.

-You've been great sports.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Dring family!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Oh, yes!

-It is almost time for us to wind up the show,

but not before we've said a massive thank you to everybody

we've surprised tonight.

And, of course, Itara from Truck of Luck.

Thanks for that. Back's still hurting.

-Union J.

-Yeah, they were good.

-And the brilliant Jack Carroll.

Thank you very, very much.

We shall see you next time. But right now, please give it up for Elyar Fox!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

MUSIC: "Do It All Again" by Elyar Fox

# This one's for the girls that like to lose their minds

# They hit rewind and then they lose their minds

# Hey!

# Hey, this one's for the girl that keeps me up all night

# She works me overtime My heart's working overtime

# So, hey, girl, hey, girl Why you hesitate, girl?

# Cos I gotta see pretty and it's right by me tonight, tonight

# Oh, wait, girl, wait, girl Why you complicate, girl?

# I got money in my pocket and I kinda wanna blow it tonight, tonight

# So, if I lose my head tonight

# Don't forget to tell the morning light

# To wake, wake me up, up, up in time

# And do it all over again Do it all over again

# Do it all over again

# We do it all over again

# Do it all over again

# We do it all over again