Episode 6 Sam & Mark's Big Friday Wind Up

Mark, hurry up! All the audience are in the studio!

Jessie J's in the show today!

Don't you worry, mate. I am ready for action.

What on earth are you wearing?

I thought we were going for comedy glasses and big top hat today?

No, we're not. Can you just put something sensible on? Hurry up!

-Yeah, OK.

-Every time!

-Ready!

No.

Ready!

Definitely not.

You know what, mate? I think I've got it now! No problem.

-I'm with you.

-Aargh!

That's the strangest one yet!

-It's going to have to do. Come on!

-But... Run the titles. I know.

# Wind me up, put me down

# Start me off and watch me

# It's easy once you know how it's done

# You can't stop now, it's already begun... #

CHEERING

Ladies and gentlemen, it's Big Friday Wind-Up.

I'm Ella and I'm here to introduce your hosts.

They're almost pals with Jedward, it's Sam and Mark!

# You've got to fight

# For your right

# To party... #

Whoa!

Come on! Come on!

High-five, high-five! Boom!

Wooo!

Welcome to the weekend!

CHEERING

If you like Fridays and you like wind-ups,

then this is the show for you.

That's why we called it Big Friday Wind-Up.

-We're clever like that.

-Yeah.

Strap yourselves in for our televisual roller coaster.

-It could go anywhere, people.

-Nice metaphor, mate.

It's what I do, mate. It's what I do.

Yes, there'll be loads of twists and turns over the next hour.

Someone in this very studio will find out their mum's

a secret fashion icon. But who will it be?

-Ooh, interesting! AUDIENCE:

-Oooh!

And we'll be seeing what happened when Mark and I

fooled some fans with the help of J-J-J-Jessie J!

-AUDIENCE:

-Oooh!

Hi, how are you doing?

-I'm good, how are you?

-Good, thank you very much.

I'm just phoning, because I've got a little inkling to believe

that you guys aren't really Jessie J.

Ooh, have the girls been rumbled?

APPLAUSE

Oh, yeah. We'll also be chatting to

Maisie Smith who plays Tiffany in EastEnders

and we'll have music from Young Kato. Yes, please.

Very excited about that.

But, right now, it's time to get to know our studio audience.

Aargh!

Hang on.

Look at you lovely lot, hey? Hey? Look at you!

I am going to talk to...

-All right, Sam, how you doing, mate?

-I'm fine, thank you.

-Can I just sit down here, is that all right?

-Fab, yeah.

-Brilliant.

All right. Now, I hear, Sam, your mum, sitting right next to you here,

-Leslie, she likes to sing. Is that right?

-Yes, she does.

Yeah. What type of songs does she like to sing, mate?

-'80s.

-Any good, is she?

-No.

-LAUGHTER

-Wait a minute. Leslie,

is this right? You're not very good?

It is true. I'm a terrible singer.

Well, let's put it to the test, shall we?

# And I

# I-I

# Will always love you... #

Wow.

I think that's beautiful!

Sam, I know that was embarrassing, mate, but it was well worth it.

Sam, beat that!

I'll try me very best. I am going to come and speak to...

Hiya. Hiya. Hiya.

I'm not speaking to you. I'm going to speak to you, Joe. Hiya, mate!

-Hi!

-How you doing?

-Good, good.

-Now, is this your mum Diane?

-Yeah.

-Hiya, Diane. You all right?

-You're looking lovely tonight, by the way, may I say?

-Thank you.

Now, Joe, I understand that your mum, Diane,

embarrasses you at parties.

-Yeah.

-What does she do at parties?

-She dances very, very badly.

-Really?

-And I've heard that she dances on her own?

-Yeah.

Like, a special song comes on that she likes,

it's only her on the dance floor

dancing and nobody else, and everyone is watching

but the dances are so bad, everyone's like, "Oh, my eyes!"

Can you give us a bit of a demo?

What does it look like? Stand up, give us a bit of a demo, Joe.

-She, like, tries to do that.

-Oh, what?!

-Half the time she ends up tripping over!

-Oh, no! Is that right?

No, it's not.

I think it is! Your mum is more embarrassed here than what you are!

I was going to get you to dance

-but I don't think you'd be up for that?

-No.

-Are you sure?

-Yes.

-Yes, she's all right. OK, Mark, over to you, buddy.

Hh!

HE HUMS

Look at you. Look at you all. I love you all. Great.

I think I'm going to talk to you, Mandy.

-How are you doing, you all right?

-Yeah. Fine!

-Who are you here with today?

-My dad and my sister.

-How are you doing, Dad, you all right, mate?

-Yeah, not bad.

Brilliant. Brilliant. And I understand that your dad, he does

a rather embarrassing dance, tell us about it.

Um, we went to London and we went to Buckingham Palace

and my dad started doing Gangnam Style.

Well, if you're going to do it anywhere,

do it at Buckingham Palace!

Now, the only way that I'm going to be able to see

whether he did it right or not is to get him doing it.

So, can we have a demonstration, Dad? Is that all right?

-You can, but it ain't very good.

-Well, we'll find out, won't we?

Come on, get up. Let's do it!

MUSIC: "Gangnam Style" by Psy

Brilliant. Brilliant.

CHEERING

All right, time to find our next victim.

Or is it?

Oh, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy, I haven't moved, have I?

-Where's your mum today?

-At a wedding.

Oh, OK, well, is it true that she likes a certain Canadian singer?

Oh, yeah. Oh, no!

Yeah. Yeah. She's a big fan of Justin Bieber, yeah?

-She likes singing like Justin Bieber, is that right?

-Oh, no. Yeah.

Yes, she does. Does it sound like this?

-# Baby, baby, baby, oh

-Oh, no!

-# Could you always be mine? Mine. #

-Where did you get that?

I just... We know. We know people. And we know your mum, actually.

Your mum has been lying to you.

She's not at a wedding today, unfortunately,

she's actually waiting backstage. Oh, yes.

I've seen her face and she really is a Belieber, people.

Give it up for Raman, everyone!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

# Baby, baby, baby, oh

# Like baby, baby, baby, no

# Like baby, baby, baby, oh

# Won't you roll with me to mine, mine?

CHEERING

# Baby, baby, baby, oh

# Like baby, baby, baby, no

# Like baby, baby, baby, oh

# Won't you roll with me to mine, mine? #

Yeah!

CHEERING

Fantastic. That was fantastic.

That was brilliant. Mandy, what have you got to say about that?

Speechless! Absolutely speechless.

Well, don't worry, Mandy,

now is your time to get your own back on your mum.

You need to go that way, my love.

Mandy, you need to come with me,

because it's time to play Mum-Pin Bowling.

CHEERING

I know what you're thinking. I know what you're thinking.

What is Mum-Pin Bowling?

Well, it's pretty simple really, it's just like tenpin bowling

but instead of a bowl, we're going to be using Mandy's mum.

Excellent idea. Excellent idea.

-Mandy, are you ready to see what we've done to your mum?

-No.

LAUGHTER

-Oh, you will be, don't worry. Audience, are you ready?

-Yes!

In that case, bring on the mum!

-Hi, Mum!

-Hello.

-Raman, how are you feeling?

-Er...

LAUGHTER

-Fantastic!

-OK, Mandy, this is a very, very simple game.

You have to use the controls in front of you to determine

how far back your mum goes before we release her. Understand?

-Yeah.

-If Raman manages to get all the skittles down in one go...

Strike!

..or two goes...

Spare!

-..Mandy here will win a prize.

-Yeah!

AUDIENCE: Ooh!

But if she doesn't, Mandy gets to foam her anyway

so we're all winners here. We're all winners!

But wait a minute, wait a minute, that's not all.

You may have noticed there is one very special golden skittle.

AUDIENCE: Oooh!

Ooh indeed.

Because if that gets knocked down,

every member of our studio audience wins a prize.

I knew they'd like it.

-They love it.

-Brilliant.

OK, what we're going to do now, we're going to point you

in the right direction. We'll get you facing them skittles.

-Raman, are you all right, lovely?

-Oh... I'm still alive.

# Baby, baby, baby, oh! #

Right, OK, I think we're good.

OK, let's get on with it. Mandy, it's time to wind up your mum!

Here we go. Keep on winding. Keep on winding.

-Go on. Keep going.

-Audience - where should she take her?

-ALL:

-To the top!

Stephen Mulhern - where should she take her?

To the top.

-OK. Mandy, are you happy where your mum is?

-Yeah.

Fantastic. OK, without further ado...

Look at her, she's still hanging there! OK, release the mum!

CHEERING

Come on, knock them down!

-Yeah, yeah!

-Wow!

-That's good.

-Not bad at all.

Seven pins.

-And she got the golden skittle, which means you all win a prize.

-Yeah!

Everybody gets pick 'n' mix!

That's what we want - more sugar for the audience!

Get this, you now get another go to try

and knock down those last skittles.

If you do that, Mandy here will win a prize.

So, once again it's time to wind up your mum.

-Come on. Come on.

-Audience, where shall we take her?

-ALL:

-To the top!

Keep going, keep going. We can do this. We can do this.

Go on, Sam, help her.

-ALL:

-Mandy! Mandy! Mandy!

Are you happy? She's high-fiving the crowd!

OK, here we go.

I'm going to give you a little push on this one to give you help.

Here we go. In three, two, one... Release the mum!

Come on, come on, you can do it! Knock them down. Knock them down!

Oh!

Come back, come back, come back. No.

Unlucky. Unlucky, guys.

Sadly, that means that you don't get your hands on tonight's star prize.

But that's all right. That's all right. Don't you worry.

Because you're going to foam her anyway. Off to the foaminator!

-Here we go. Get these out of the way! Get out of my way!

-So close.

-She won't be singing Justin Bieber again.

-That's true.

-Do you want to hold this bit?

-OK.

Go on. Are you ready?

-Here we go, best of luck.

-Mandy...

-After three.

One, two, three!

Whoa!

Whoa, yeah!

We got her. We got her good.

We got her good.

Very good. How are you feeling, Raman?

-Er, I need a shower.

-You need a shower! She needs a shower!

-Have you had fun today, guys? Well, hmm. Have you had fun?

-Yeah.

-Fantastic.

-They've been great sports.

Please give it up for Mandy. and Raman.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-Bye!

-Bye!

The foam's going on my face.

Right now it's time to meet our special guest.

You'll know her as Tiffany in EastEnders. It's Maisie Smith!

CHEERING

Yeah!

-Welcome to the show, Maisie. How are you?

-Good, thanks.

-Excellent.

Lovely to have you here.

-Now, Maisie, did you enjoy your little surprise earlier?

-Yeah.

Yes, before the show Mark and I gave Maisie a bit of a scare

when she was on her way to her dressing room.

-Do you want to see what happened, guys?

-Oh...

-ALL:

-Yes!

-Run the VT!

-Grab a seat.

So, it's Sam & Mark's Big Friday Wind-Up

and it's series three that we're doing.

ROARING

LAUGHTER

Brilliant. Brilliant.

I wasn't that scared because I am used to my mum

-and sister making me jump all of the time.

-Really?

What kind of things do they do?

I'll just walk out of the bathroom and they'll just go, "Argh!"

-I hate that.

-You were quite cool actually, to be fair.

-You went, "Oh, I'm all right."

-I know, yeah!

Now, Maisie, you are 12 years old

and you've been on EastEnders since you were six years old.

What's it been like growing up on a TV set?

Well, I have been doing it half my life

so I haven't really known any different.

What was it like, the first time you went in there

and you saw Albert Square for the first time, you saw

all those iconic characters like Bianca and Phil and Ian Beale?

Well, funny story, I actually walked in there and because I was

so young, I didn't really know who anyone was.

And when my mum showed me the new house I was like,

"I don't want to live here," cos I thought I was actually moving there.

Oh, no!

Bless you. Actually, I have got an important question.

Is Bianca as much of a loudmouth in real life as she is on the show?

-No, she's really nice.

-Is she nice? Are you just saying that?

-No.

I've got to say, you know you've made it in EastEnders

when you get a "duff duff" like this.

-You ain't my mother!

-Yes, I am!

EASTENDERS DUFF DUFFS

-It's true, though, innit?

-Love a duff duff.

Are you good with a duff duff?

-Well, I usually end up laughing!

-Do you?!

Let's try it now. You do Mark's line, so you say, "Yes, I am," OK?

Get in the zone, get in the zone.

-Which camera is she on? She on that camera?

-Here we go. OK.

-You ain't my mother!

-Yes, I am!

EASTENDERS DUFF DUFFS

She laughed! She laughed!

Wait a minute, let's put it to the audience.

-Who wants to do a duff duff face?

-Who wants to do a duff duff face?

Anybody in the audience want to do a duff duff face? This guy up here.

Here we go, here we go.

Come on! You look a bit like Phil Mitchell.

Right, get ready. You've got to say the line, "Yes, I am"...

-Be careful, Sam!

-..down the camera. Here we go.

Get ready.

-You ain't my mother!

-Yes, I am.

EASTENDERS DUFF DUFFS

-That's amazing!

-That's amazing!

"Yes, I am!"

-"Yes, I am!"

-Brilliant.

That was like a really good audition for EastEnders.

It was like a Christmas special, that was.

-Wow!

-Love that. Amazing. Thank you very much for joining us.

Are you going to stick around for the rest of the show?

Yes, I am.

EASTENDERS DUFF DUFFS

-Maisie Smith, everyone!

-Yeah!

-Brilliant.

Well, now it's time to meet some more friends of ours. Come on!

All right, girls?

Ladies and gentlemen, please say hello to Beth, Mia and Olivia!

Yay!

-You having a good time, girls?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Awesome.

Now, a little while ago, Mark and I wound you girls up

with the help of our very good friend Jessie J, didn't we?

Yeah!

Now, you guys thought you'd been picked to appear

on a new radio station devoted to Jessie herself, didn't you?

Yeah.

Now, what you didn't know was that we'd made the whole thing up.

-Naughty.

-Shall we see what happened? You want to see?

-Yeah?

-ALL:

-Yeah!

-You want to see?

-Yeah.

-LAUGHTER

-Look into that camera and do the honours.

-Run VT.

Hello, I'm Jessie J,

and I'm about to surprise three of my biggest fans.

-But first, Sam...

-Hi.

-Let's wind 'em up.

-Let's do it.

-Let's do it.

Hi. How are you doing?

'The girls have just arrived at BBC reception.'

Hi, everyone. Welcome to BBC Jessie J FM, how are you doing?

'Beth, Mia and Olivia think they're here to see the launch

'of the Jessie J radio station,

'that plays nothing but Jessie J 24 hours a day.'

Let's do it. Cool, do you want to follow me? Let's go.

'First up, the girls head to the recording studio,

'where Wind-Up actor Louise is waiting for them.'

Welcome to the BBC.

This is pretty cool, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-So, welcome to the launch of our new radio station, BBC JJ FM.

-Are you excited?

-Yeah!

-Good.

-Very!

There's a lot of work to be done, though, girls, I'm afraid.

We've recorded a load of jingles for the show,

but what we need is your help to record some more.

The slogan goes, "Every week and every day, listen to BBC Jessie J."

Do you want to have a go, if I count you in? All together.

-OK.

-1, 2, 3, go.

# Every week and every day, listen to BBC Jessie J. #

Oh! I think you harmonised at the end! That was amazing.

'Yeah, that was pretty good for a first go.

'But let's crank it up and try it with instruments.'

-# Every week and every day, listen to BBC Jessie J.

-#

Perhaps a bit higher.

-HIGH PITCHED:

-# Listen to BBC Jessie J.

-#

Lowest you can go.

-LOW PITCHED:

-# Every week and every day...

-#

Can you guys do any accents at all?

Like French. Slash German, slash Swedish.

OK.

'Can't wait to hear what this sounds like.'

-SING-SONG ACCENT:

-Every week and every day, listen to BBC Jessie J.

-That's my favourite, so far.

-That sounds really good!

That was amazing.

It was brilliant.

'Not bad at all.

'At least the jingle's ready for the launch.

'Now it's time to let them in on the big secret.'

Now, I don't know if you're ready for this, girls...

Jessie J is going to be here this morning for the launch,

so you're going to get to meet her.

-SHE SQUEALS

-Yes!

How exciting is that?!

Aww. This is so exciting, isn't it?

Aww!

I've got to say, though, a whole radio station

dedicated entirely to Jessie J -

did you not think that was a little strange?

No, she's amazing!

"She's amazing, so, yeah, of course there'd be a radio station."

It was so brilliant, Beth - you looked really happy

-to hear that you were going to be meeting Jessie J.

-Yeah.

What was going through your mind?

I just literally...

Argh!

It was like, "Argh! Yeah!"

I've got to say, those jingles actually sounded really, really good!

I thought they were awesome.

And your accents - much better than mine and Mark's, I've got to say.

Yeah, it was really good. And the instruments, and everything.

Well, things were about to get weird, and I've got the feeling

the launch of JJ FM isn't going to run very smoothly.

Let's see what happened next.

Girls, do the honours.

Run VT.

'With only minutes to go before the launch of BBC Jessie J FM,

'the girls enter the studio.'

-How are you feeling, girls? Are you excited?

-Yeah.

How excited are you on a scale of one to ten?

-A thousand.

-A thousand?

I could cry right now.

I'll probably wake up tomorrow thinking it's a whole dream.

Girls, we've got 20 seconds, I'm hearing. OK?

-You've got party poppers, can you see them?

-Yeah.

We're going to count down from ten, and when we get to zero,

-we're going to party popper.

-OK.

-Luke, have you got your party popper?

-I've got mine ready.

-10, 9...

-ALL:

-8, 7, 6,

5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

Woo-hoo!

'JJ FM!'

It's the launch day, the day has finally arrived.

My name is Louise, and this is the biggest and best new radio station.

This is BBC JJ FM.

'JJ FM!'

24 hours a day, seven days a week, we will be playing Jessie J songs,

talking about Jessie J's clothes,

and chatting to some of Jessie J's biggest fans.

And I'm joined right here, right now

in the studio today by three of the very biggest.

Beth, Mia and Olivia.

-Good morning, girls.

-Hello!

-Morning!

How are you feeling about being here on this momentous day?

-Absolutely ecstatic.

-It's amazing!

Can I ask you, is this the best thing that has ever happened to you?

-Definitely.

-The lady herself, the real Jessie J, will be

right here later on - exciting!

Can I get a "woo-hoo" please, girls?

-Woo!

-Beautiful.

So, without further ado, let's get things started with some music.

Olivia's going to do the honours for us

and press the button to play our very first tune.

So, hit it, Olivia.

MUSIC STARTS AND CUTS OUT

MUSIC STARTS AND CUTS OUT

'Ooh, that's awkward!'

Um, apologies, listeners, we seem to have a technical problem,

which is embarrassing on our first ever broadcast.

But we're going to sort that out, so bear with me for just a second.

OK? Yeah, OK.

-PRODUCER:

-Play the jingle - put something on!'

'JJ FM!'

I'm in a panic!

Listen, we have a huge problem, there's a technical error,

and I'm not sure what to do about it, so... Agh!

Can I ask you - do you think you could sing,

-like, an acoustic version of Price Tag for me?

-OK...

I'll start you off - you don't have to worry about it,

it's going to be really easy, OK?

-Sorry about this! OK, just - you know the lyrics, right?

-Yeah.

Course you do. OK, I believe in you, girls. We can do this.

We'll get through this. Oh, goodness!

'BBC JJ FM!'

Sorry, listeners, about that.

I have some special news, actually, which is that we have a special

acoustic version of Price Tag to play you now,

and that will happen right about - now.

# It's not about the money money, money

# We don't need your money money, money

# We just wanna make the world dance

# Forget about the price tags

# Ain't about the - uh cha-ching cha-ching

# Ain't about the - yeah ba-bling ba-bling

# Wanna make the world dance... #

Oh, nice voices.

# Forget about the price tag. #

That was a special acoustic version, as sung by Jessie J.

And that was, I think you'll agree, listeners, amazing. Thank you!

Now, I think we can actually have some non-acoustic stuff, now.

Yeah?

# ..in the playground... #

(Are we doing this live?)

(She just said, "We're doing this live"!)

(She really thinks it's a radio station!)

-Er, girls, Luke and I are going to go and get Jessie.

-OK!

How excited are you now, on that scale of one to ten?

-Oh, like a thousand!

-A thousand.

-A thousand!

-A thousand million trillion.

-Over ten.

-Over ten, that's good.

OK, so, if the phone rings, can you just pick it up,

because it will be the producer...

-OK.

-Just take a message, but I don't think it will.

OK?

'The girls genuinely believe Jessie's on her way,

'so it's time for me to crank this up a notch.'

I'm calling the girls pretending to be Jessie J's manager.

PHONE RINGS

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

Pick it up, pick it up.

Hello?

Mike Simpson here, it's Jessie J's manager.

Listen, Jessie isn't going to be able to make it to the launch -

she's double-booked her bhangracise class,

and she doesn't miss that for the world, so I'm really sorry -

I promise you we will make it up to you.

-Have a good day, I'm really sorry, guys. OK, bye.

-OK, all right, bye.

-Jessie J's not coming.

-What?!

She's not coming. That was the manager, it sounds like.

What's happened?!

It was the manager, says she's not coming.

He said she's double-booked.

-What?!

-Oh, no, they're gutted!

Is that what they've just said?

Are they coming back?

'With no Jessie, the launch day's becoming a disaster for JJ FM.'

-Hi!

-How's it going?

-Good.

-Pretty good, thank you.

She wasn't there, um...

We just got a call from her manager saying that she's double-booked,

-and she's not coming.

-What?

-Sit down.

-She's double-booked.

-She's double-booked.

Yeah, so she can't... be able to come. She said sorry.

-That's nice, isn't it?

-PRODUCER:

-Caller on line one.

OK, we've got to do a phone-in now.

Someone going to call in and speak to her

and if she's not here then no-one will listen,

the station will close and I'm going to get fired, and so is Luke...

Beth, look, I'm really sorry,

but will you pretend to be Jessie J for us?

What shall I say?

-What you have to do is just go with it, OK?

-OK.

OK, so don't be nervous.

'Don't be nervous?! She has to pretend to be Jessie J live on air!

'Good luck(!)'

Hi, listeners. How are you doing? This is BBC JJ FM.

We're going to go to the phone lines now.

We have Jessie J here in the studio,

and she is ready to take your calls.

-Say hello, Jessie, would you mind?

-Hello!

-Hello, Jessie!

-Hey.

Hey, it's Mr Jenkins here, your old music teacher, do you remember me?

Oh, yeah!

Remember what you said to me on your last day of school?

Er, let me think...

You said, "One day, Mr Jenkins, I'll be a star,

"and I'll have my own radio station."

Yeah, that was it.

Shall we do a little bit of a sing-song, like old times, Jessie?

All right.

# Dirty dancing in the moonlight

# Take me down like I'm a domino. #

Oh, that was amazing, Jessie. Thank you so much.

Good luck for the rest of the future, we all love you here at school.

Oh, thank you.

-OK, bye!

-Bye!

This is BBC JJ FM, playing all your favourite Jessie hits.

In fact, here's another.

SHE LAUGHS

Beth, that was brilliant!

How amazing was that?!

Did I sound like her?

You sounded like her, as well!

-God...

-You've got a beautiful singing voice, thank you so much!

Oh, my goodness!

-PRODUCER:

-Caller on line two.

-We'll do one more call...

-OK.

-You'll have to be Jessie again.

-Yeah.

-You sound just like her, so that's perfect!

'So, the girls fell for the fake music teacher trick.

'But will they recognise this next caller?

'It's only Jessie J herself!'

OK, hello, caller. You are through to BBC JJ FM.

-Hello, there.

-Hi, how are you doing?

-I'm good, how are you?

Good, thank you very much.

I'm just phoning cos I've got a little kind of inkling

to believe that you guys aren't really Jessie J.

'Ooh! Have the girls been rumbled?'

What makes you think that?

I don't know, I just don't feel like your answers are...

are kind of what she would say.

Jessie's here now, and she can speak for herself, she can answer that.

How is Jessie in the room?

I know Jessie wouldn't be in the room, because I'm Jessie J.

# It's not about the money money, money

# We don't need your money money, money... #

Hello!

-You were pretending to be me!

-Sorry!

Hello!

-Hello!

-Hi!

-How's it going?

-Good.

-How are you guys? How old are you?

-I'm 11.

-Have you been having fun?

-Yeah!

-Absolutely amazing.

-What's been the best bit?

Meeting you!

I had to be you, and there was this teacher calling you,

and I sang Domino with him!

Was it good?

Yes, it was quite fun, but, yeah...

Do you have any questions you want to ask me?

What's your favourite song that you've done?

Depends on what mood I'm in, really.

If I feel like I've had a bit of a bad day,

Who You Are makes me feel happy again.

-But I do love to sing Price Tag.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

'The girls are pretty blown away by Jessie J,

'so I suppose it's time to come clean about JJ FM.'

How are you doing? You all right, girls?

We've just Smarked you on Sam & Mark's Big Friday Wind-Up!

Oh, my God!

-With the help of Jessie J.

-Ha-ha!

-Are you serious?

-Come on, high-fives!

We're totally serious!

Oh, no!

I was in the next room watching you do your whole radio thing!

Oh...!

'There's just enough time to get some signed CDs

'and one last hug from Jessie to finish off a brilliant day.'

Oh, yeah!

Oh, it's amazing! Thank you.

Tried to hold in my scream.

It was just amazing!

So, that's it, another successful Smarking

on Sam & Mark's Big Friday Wind-Up.

-Successful!

-You know it, I think you'll agree, Jessie.

-All right!

-Girls, well done.

APPLAUSE

That was amazing.

You got stitched up proper, there!

Properly! You were brilliant, you really were.

Come on, then, tell us, what was it like meeting Jessie J face to face?

It was so shocking.

-Really? Cos you weren't expecting it at all, were you?

-No!

I mean, what were you thinking - because I thought you were fantastic

when you took that phone call, cos you were really professional,

but what were you thinking when you thought, "Oh, she's cancelled"?

My heart sank.

-Your heart sank! Aww.

-Did you actually think you were live?

-Yes!

-Did you have a good day?

-It was really good.

-Yeah.

-Fantastic.

You have been fantastic sports, I think you'll all agree.

-Give them a massive round of applause!

-Brilliant!

-APPLAUSE

-Brilliant.

And if you thought that was good,

take a look at what else is coming up on today's show.

Legends.

Sam's about to get a little bit weird.

We'll be covering a family in slime when we play Rotation.

And that's not all, people - we've also got music from Young Kato.

# Break out, break out... #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Just having a bit of a rest, Maisie?

-All right, Maisie. Good to see you.

-Hi.

-You will not believe this.

Me and Mark. Only landed an audition at EastEnders!

It's so exciting. We're finally going to be on TV.

-We're already on TV.

-No, I mean on something good.

Fair point.

Maisie, we were thinking, seeing as you're in EastEnders,

maybe you could give us some acting tips?

Everyone thinks they can be on EastEnders.

Go on. What do you want to know?

First of all, what do you think of our cockney accents?

BAD COCKNEY ACCENT: All right, guv'nor. How ya doing?

Apples and pears. All right? All right? All right? Boat race.

That was terrible. Listen to this.

-RUSSIAN ACCENT:

-You will never get my secret papers, Mr Bond.

-What do you think?

-Firstly - Sam, that was offensive to anyone

in the East End.

And Mark, what was that meant to be?

Russian. It's what cockneys speak, isn't it?

No. Let's just forget about accents.

If you really want to be in EastEnders,

you've got to be able to fake cry.

Maisie, easy. Watch this.

Oh, it's no good. I can't do it.

-TEARFULLY:

-Why? Why?

Why?

Mark, that is unbelievable!

I never knew you could cry on cue!

What are you talking about? I've run out of my fake tan.

Forget all of this. I know what you need.

Everybody who acts in EastEnders

needs to know how to be angry all of the time.

-Can you teach us how to do that?

-Yes, I can.

Firstly, you interrupt my break. Secondly, you offend anyone

in the East End

and then expect me to help you with your acting careers? Get out!

-Brilliant!

-Wow! Very believable. Great acting.

I'm not acting.

EASTENDERS DUFF DUFFS

-Sling yer 'ook!

-Let's get on with the show.

-I'm taking this.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Ladies and gentlemen, I give you The Finger Of Fun!

-Yes!

Finger! Finger! Finger!

Ow!

Ow!

-Finger's got me!

-I keep telling you it's not real. Chill out, will you?

-It felt real.

-You've got a job to do. You need to find us someone.

Finger Of Fun, find us someone!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

# Who's it going to be?

# Who's it going to be? #

Ah!

The Finger has found his target.

-What are your names?

-My name is Niamh.

-I'm Geraldine.

-Geraldine.

-Get yourselves down here.

It's time to play The Prize Surprise!

Come on down!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So... Niamh and Geraldine.

Have you any idea why we've brought you down here today?

-BOTH:

-No.

Interesting. Niamh, it's all about your mum's fashion sense.

Oh, my goodness!

We hear she's fond of a particular type of clothing.

-What would that be?

-Trousers.

-Trousers?

Wait a minute. Do you mean...

these trousers?

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

-Are they the ones?

-These are the ones that you're talking about?

-Yes.

-Possibly the weirdest thing I've ever seen.

I don't know what the fuss is about. They're lovely against my skin.

-Really lovely.

-Goes with the spotty shirt.

-They're nice, aren't they?

-Yeah, they're comfortable.

-Really comfortable.

-I'd never wear them, Niamh.

Why do you think they're so awful?

The flowers. And they open...

They are quite baggy.

You could take off if there was a big wind.

There's a lot going on there, I must admit.

Well, Niamh. It looks like you could be in the minority because

the whole fashion world is actually going mad

over your mum's trousers. It's true.

Don't believe us? Take a look at this!

BREAKFAST TV THEME PLAYS

They're the must-have items that are taking the fashion world by storm.

Everybody wants a pair of trousers like Geraldine's.

Celebrities have been spotted wearing them, including Cheryl Cole,

Gary Barlow and even Prime Minister David Cameron.

On Blue Peter, we are making a pair of trousers just like Geraldine's.

Yeah, they are... They're snazzy.

I've got you a special present, all the way from Northern Ireland.

Please tell me it's a pair of trousers just like Geraldine's.

-Exactly! Exactly!

-It is!

-How did you know?

Oh! Geraldine's trousers!

They're here! The Geraldine trousers!

They're making their debut. Why do celebrities rave about them?

It could be they're fully lined.

It could be the lovely pleating on the chiffon on the outside.

Everybody wants them. Order them now.

018181.

Where are you going, Charlie?

-To get a pair before they sell out.

-We're still on air.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-They're sweeping the nation!

-You've got to embrace the trousers.

I've took my jeans off. I'm keeping them on.

I don't care who knows it.

-Stop doing that.

-Sorry.

-Niamh, has that changed your opinion on these bad boys?

-No.

-Right.

We're turning those embarrassing trousers into an opportunity.

We're giving you the chance to win some goodies.

In a game that we like to call Pants Win Prizes. Follow us!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

OK. This is a very simple game.

Niamh, you've got to answer a series of questions

against the clock.

Every time you get one right,

your mum has to don a pair of trousers from the washing line.

Aaah! If she manages to put on six pairs

by the time the klaxon sounds...

KLAXON BLARES

..you both win a prize. Is that clear?

-Yeah.

-Fantastic.

-Reckon you can do it?

-Yeah.

-We like that. Confidence.

Let's get into position. If we move over here.

Give some room. Give some room.

OK. Let's...start the clock.

What does a model walk down, a catwalk or a dogwalk?

-A catwalk.

-Correct.

Get the trousers on! Give them some encouragement!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

What colour is Superman's cape?

-Blue.

-It's red, unfortunately.

Next question.

-What is the full name of the fashion presenter Gok...

-Wan.

Correct.

Would you wear a snood in winter or summer?

-Winter.

-Winter. Correct.

Get them trousers on!

What type of hat is this?

A top hat.

Let's go. Who designed the London 2012 athletics kit?

Paul McCartney or Stella McCartney?

-Stella McCartney.

-Correct.

Get those trousers on.

Pencil, A-line and mini are all types of what?

-Pass.

-Pass. OK. It was skirt.

Which Scooby-Doo character is famous for wearing glasses?

Velma.

It was Velma. You're right.

Get them on!

Complete the song title, Baggy what?

-Trousers.

-Correct. Get them on!

KLAXON BLARES

Time's up! Time's up!

We'll give you that.

We're going to have a count.

Here we go. Let's have a count. Let's have a look.

We've got one. We've got two.

This is a bit weird.

We've got three. How many have we got?

That's four.

That's...five there.

And one underneath, that's six!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Well done. Congratulations.

You have both just won a prize.

You get this tablet!

A tablet. Awesome!

Geraldine. We're going to give you some high street vouchers,

so that means you can take your mum shopping

for some proper clothes!

As a treat, we'll let you keep those trousers.

-Have you had a good day?

-Yes.

-Fantastic. You've been great sports.

Ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for Niamh and Geraldine.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Well done.

Fantastic.

Stay tuned, because, in just a few moments,

Sam and I will be getting a surprise when we peer inside

The Truck of Luck.

Not looking forward to that.

Before that, let's take a look at some of our studio audience

doing some of their very best impressions before the show started.

Nice to see you, to see you nice!

HE SQUEAKS

Precious.

Thank you, thank you very much.

HE CHATTERS

-Bean. Back a bit.

-Rubbish.

# Nobody's perfect!

# No, no, no!

Woof, woof!

You're fired.

This is the part of the show where Mark and I get to look stupid.

Sorry, more stupid than usual.

Bring on The Truck of Luck!

Chimpy's locked in!

THEY LAUGH

There is something inside this truck and Mark and I have no idea what.

-Whatever it is, we just have to go with it.

-Here it goes.

Mystery guest, reveal yourself!

Hey!

Oh, no.

TRADITONAL COSSACK MUSIC PLAYS

-Oh, no!

-Oh, no!

Wow, wow, wow!

Amazing. Hello. Lovely to meet you.

-I'm Sam.

-I'm Mark. Lovely to meet you.

-Petro.

Lovely to meet you. So, what's our challenge, then?

Your challenge today is to dance like a Cossack.

-Oh, brilliant. Shall we go and get ready, then?

-I think we should.

But, whilst we do that,

take a look at the way Wind-Up is taking over the world.

The top story tonight... The boys are back.

Sam and Mark fever is taking the world by storm.

Sam and Mark are shamrocking Ireland right now.

Sam and Mark's Big Friday Wind-Up vuelven.

-Breaking news...

-That's right, Kimberly, we have huge news.

The very famous Sam and Mark are back.

The very popular show with even more pranks and hilarity

taking the world by storm.

Hey, we even know about them across the pond.

Sam, Mark...

SPEAKING FRENCH: ..Mark et Sam.

SPEAKS WELSH

..Sam & Mark's Big Friday Wind-Up.

The big man and the wee man. Sam and Mark!

Sam and Mark are making waves Down Under.

Sam and Mark are back.

Tune in to get the weekend party started.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

OK, it's time for us to take on our challenge.

Petro, tell us the challenge, please, what we've got to do.

Today, you're going to do an

energetic combination of Cossack dance moves.

You're going to battle against each other and, at the end,

I'll be judging you to see who's the best.

Fantastic. That's the challenge,

but how do you lot think we're going to do?

-Studio audience, we are now...

-Badly.

..going to ask you to vote who you think will be the best.

If you get it right, there is a prize in it for you.

You've each got two cards. Blue for Sam and pink for me.

Please make your decisions and raise your cards!

-Pretty even, innit?

-I think that's 50-50.

Pretty even. Pretty even.

All right, lower your cards.

-50-50, we're saying.

-All right. Well... Well, we shall see.

Can't even speak, never mind Cossack dance.

-Here you go.

-Good luck, mate.

-Take your positions.

COSSACK MUSIC PLAYS

CHEERING

We're too old for this. We're too old for this.

Petro, it's down to you to decide who's won.

Well, you both did really well.

Sam, you're really energetic...

but, Mark, your moves were much cleaner and sharper.

Mark's the winner!

Thank you!

So, it's a win for me.

It's a win for everyone who voted for me,

because you all receive a highly coveted Sam & Mark Wind-Up windy!

Give it up for Petro and his dancers! Thank you very much, guys!

-Fantastic.

-Amazing.

-Can we get changed now?

I need to stretch!

Whilst we do that, let's take a look at what happened

when we wound up our studio audience before the show.

One more time, round of applause, guys.

'Watch out for the angry plant, audience!'

Rawr!

Rawr!

Rawr!

Rawr!

Rawr!

Rawr!

FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS

Yeah!

Wooo!

-Don't let it get me again!

-Don't worry! It's The Finger Of Fun.

He's back, because he is here to select two families

to take part in our grand finale.

If they're very lucky, they could be going home

with tonight's star prize - a games console.

Amazing. Finger Of Fun, find us some families!

# Who's it going to be?

# Who's it going to be?

# Who's it going to be? #

All right!

The Finger's made up his mind.

-Our first family is the Rumble family from Plymouth!

-Yeah!

But...who will they be competing against?

Off you go, Finger!

# Who's it going to be?

# Whoa!

# Who's it going to be? #

-Oh!

-Oh!

It's the Shuttleworth family from Preston!

You guys, get yourselves down here, because it's time to play Rotation.

Come on down, guys. Come on down.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the only TV game where you have to

rotate on a giant turntable to avoid getting slimed.

-Let's meet our families.

-It's the Rumble family!

Hello!

Team captain Erin, introduce the rest of the gang, please.

My brother Adam, My mum Ann and my dad David.

Tell us an interesting fact about yourselves.

Um, well, we've met five famous people in the last three months.

-Really?

-Wow.

-Hit us with it.

-You two.

-No big deal.

-Richard Branson.

-Really?!

Wow, that's impressive.

Terry Waite.

Oh, yeah.

And Anne Robinson.

All right, good luck. Time to meet your opponents.

It's the Shuttleworth family!

-Team captain Imogen, you all right?

-Yeah.

-Good.

Introduce the gang for us.

Um, this is my brother Alex, my dad Mark

and...my mum Nicola.

Almost forgot Mum there.

"And...my mum?!"

Tell us an interesting fact about yourselves.

My dad got custard-pied in the face by The Chuckle Brothers.

THAT deserves a round of applause.

There's not many people that can say that, mate.

-Paul and Barry. Respect.

-You know it.

Here is how the game works.

Up here is something we like to call...

-The Tank!

-Of Terror!

All through the game, this tank will be slowly filling up with slime.

Meanwhile, our teams will be directly below it answering

a series of questions.

If they get one right, they spin round, away from the tank,

and into the safe zone.

Just like that.

But if they continue to get them wrong, they stay right here in...

-The Danger!

-Zone!

WHOOPING

The aim of the game is to stay out of this zone,

because when the tank fills up to the black line...

The family underneath will get covered, that's right!

One family is getting covered in slime.

-Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

-He's doing his evil laugh again. All right.

Calm yourself. OK, Rumble family, you will be going first.

-The best of luck. Are you ready?

-Yeah.

-Here we go. Start the slime.

What cartoon character is yellow and says, "D'oh!" a lot?

-Homer Simpson.

-Correct, rotate.

-Which twin double act have blonde hair that stands on end?

-Jedward.

Correct. Rotate.

-In which sport do you have a wooden wicket?

-Cricket.

-Correct, rotate.

In which city are the 2016 Olympic Games taking place?

-Rio de Janeiro.

-Correct, rotate.

Josh, JJ, George and Jaymi make up which boy band?

-Union J.

-Correct, rotate.

-True or false, Henry VIII had seven wives?

-False!

Correct, rotate.

Josh Carter is the lead character in which CBBC drama?

-Josh Carter, CBBC drama...

-You can pass.

-Pass!

Who is the rapper husband of Beyonce?

-Jay-Z.

-Correct, rotate!

Which CBBC presenter also provides the voice for Dennis the Menace?

Pass.

Which boy band has five members

and song titles include What Makes You Beautiful?

-One Direction!

-Correct, rotate!

Which fictional spy is also known by the name 007?

-James Bond!

-Correct, rotate!

When are the 2020 Olympic Games...

ALARM BELLS RING

Wow, let's take a look at that in slow mo, shall we?

-Unlucky. How are you feeling?

-Wet.

-Imogen, anything you want to say?

-Nothing.

-I want to go home!

That does mean the Rumble family go through to the final round.

Rumble family, you're through! Off you go, get ready. Well done.

Guys, don't worry, you're not going home empty-handed.

-We're going to give you some goody bags, is that all right?

-Thank you.

-Have you had a good day?

-Yes.

We're going to give you a towel as well!

Give it up for the Shuttleworths, everyone!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

OK, time for the Rumble family to win some amazing prizes,

as we play Stuck On You.

Playing this game for the Rumble family we have Erin and Adam.

-How are you feeling, guys?

-Good.

-Right, here are the rules.

The Wind-Up audience is armed with hundreds of balls.

Hold up your balls, everyone!

What you need to do is run around and catch as many of those balls

on your sticky suit as possible. Understand? Fantastic.

At the end of the game, we'll count up the balls

and see what prizes you qualify for.

More than 20 balls, which is represented by this line here,

wins you all these wonderful board games.

More than 40 balls, represented by this blue line, will get you

the board games plus a trip to the cinema for all the family.

-AUDIENCE:

-Oooh!

And more than 60 balls, represented by this red line, will get you

the board games, the cinema tickets,

plus tonight's star prize, a games console!

-AUDIENCE:

-Oooh!

-Love that.

-But hang on a minute, there's this golden ball!

If you catch this, you will win a very special price.

Everybody wants one. It's a Big Friday Wind-Up mug!

Yep, everyone wants a cup of tea out of our faces, I'm telling you.

This is going to be anywhere in the audience. Who wants it?

Right over there. What a catch!

Erin and Adam, if you'd like to get into position, please.

Good luck. In three, two, one, audience, let them have it!

SCREAMING AND CHEERING

Time's up, time is up! Come here you guys, that's enough.

I'm watching you. I'm watching you. Come on over, guys.

-He really wants that mug. He really wants it.

-Start counting.

OK, here we go. You've done very well there.

There are the board games.

I nearly missed it! Here we go.

Yes, the cinema tickets are yours!

Come on, come on, come on! Come on! Come on!

-Well done, guys. Come back over here.

-Look at that. Full whammy.

That is the lot, you managed to get over 60 balls,

which means you win all the prizes - the board games,

cinema tickets, and tonight's star prize, a games console.

And look at this, look at this!

That means you get to drink tea from our mugs every day of your life.

-Well done. And Erin, it's your birthday today, isn't it?

-Yes.

Happy birthday!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-Have you had a good day?

-Definitely.

-Fantastic, fantastic.

It's almost time to wind up the show,

but not before we've said thank you to everybody we've surprised.

And of course a big thank you to Maisie Smith

-and Petro, our Cossack dancer.

-I can't even move my legs.

I can't say it, never mind dance it.

We'll see you next time,

but right now please give it up for Young Kato!

# Here we are again on time

# As you steal all the things I could've sworn were mine

# You tell me you're done with routine

# Well, get busy, don't hold your breath

# Don't wait for a time machine

-#

-Break out, break out

-As if the world stopped turning

-#

-Run out, run out

-It's your heart that's burning

-#

-Break out, break out

-As if the world stopped turning

# Run out, run out Break out, break out

# I can't slow down

# And I can't move slow

# It's time you changed your empty lives

# You've gotta pick yourself up with your half-filled cup

# And put things right

# Cos life is fierce and nothing's free

# Don't hold your breath you'll catch your death

# It's a lottery

-#

-Break out, break out

-As if the world stopped turning

-#

-Run out, run out

-It's your heart that's burning

-#

-Break out, break out

-As if the world stopped turning

# Run out, run out Break out, break out

# I can't slow down

# And I can't move slow

# Forget your rights And just take your time

# Because, oh, that is life

-#

-Break out, break out

-As if the world stopped turning

-#

-Run out, run out

-It's your heart that's burning

-#

-Break out, break out

-As if the world stopped turning

# Run out, run out Break out, break out

# I can't slow down

# And I can't move slow. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE