Sam & Mark's Big Christmas Wind-Up Sam & Mark's Big Friday Wind Up

Why is this boy sweating?

Why is this girl sweating?

And what is this man's problem?

Maybe he knows that no-one is safe in Sam And Mark's Big Christmas Wind-Up!

Welcome to the show that's winding up the world.

From Studio 2 in Salford, it's Big Christmas Wind-Up.

My name's Elize, and I'm not the only turkey on this show.

Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Sam and Mark!

# We're walking in the air

# We're floating in the moonlit sky

# The people far below are sleeping as we fly

# Children gaze open-mouthed

# Taken by surprise

# Nobody down below

# Believes their eyes

# We're surfing in the air

# We're swimming in the... # Aaaah!

-You all right, mate?

-No, not really.

-I've squashed me satsuma.

-Oh!

-BOTH:

-It's Christmas!

-Welcome to a brand-new series of Wind-Up, people!

-Yes, we are back!

Oh, yeah, we're back!

This year we'd thought we'd mix things up a bit.

Oh, yeah, we have got brand-new games and surprises

and at the end of every show you are all invited to our VIP party -

the Weekend Wind-Down!

But as it's Christmas we've got some extra-special treats in store,

which means we'll be adding the word "Christmas" to every sentence.

Yes, The Christmas Overtones are here to perform their Christmas single!

We'll be Christmas joined by Christmas Akai,

Christmas Leona Vaughan

and Christmas Amy-Leigh Christmas Hickman.

CHEERING

And find out what Christmas happened when we took our hidden

Christmas cameras to the Bake Off tent to wind up Mark. Christmas.

-So if you want a slice of the action, tune in to...

-Here we go.

-..Junior Bake Off...

-He's going to eat the cake.

-..2015.

He's eating the cake.

HE LAUGHS

But right now it's time to grant someone their Christmas wish.

Audience, we want you all to wish really hard cos whoever does

the best wishing will be playing the first game of the series.

Yeah, and it could be any one of you guys.

But only if you really, really want it.

Yeah, so audience, close your eyes tightly

and wish as hard as you can, do it!

-Everyone, wish to Santa.

-Wish to the elves.

Wish to the magic Twig King of the Christmas forest

-and all of his jingle pixies.

-Doesn't exist.

-OK.

Just wish hard, everybody.

Because someone's dream is about to come true.

Who is it, Sam?

Who's really putting some effort into their wishing?

It's Nathan!

Come on down, it's time to play a game

we call the Special Christmas Game!

Welcome to the game that's very special and all about Christmas.

Clever, that. Nathan, just now you were wishing harder than anyone else

in the audience. But what are you really wishing for this Christmas?

-BB-8.

-BB-8?

-For everyone who doesn't know, what is a BB-8?

It's an astromech droid and it's got a ball for a body and, like,

-a little head.

-It sounds fantastic!

-It sounds awesome!

Well, Nathan, we are going to give you the chance to win an amazing

Christmas present, because one of these boxes contains a gift

that we know you are going to love.

The other four, however,

contain presents that are just as Christmassy, but far less desirable.

Yeah. You must pick the box that you think has your dream gift inside.

But don't worry, Nathan, because you can increase your chances

by eliminating up to three "disappointing boxes."

Yeah, to do that you must read the minds of our lovely studio audience.

We're going to ask them three Christmas questions.

Each time you guess the most popular answer

we will take away one of the "disappointing boxes".

-OK, are you ready for this, Nathan?

-Yeah.

OK, in that case, could you please put your Christmas blindfold on?

There we go, lovely stuff. It's time for the first question.

OK, audience...

we want to know, do you prefer, A, Christmas pudding

or B, Christmas cake? Please hold up your cards, A or B, now.

OK. Nathan.

How did most of our audience vote?

Did they prefer A, Christmas pudding or B, Christmas cake?

Er, B, Christmas cake.

You're going for B. OK. It's close, it's close. But I'm going to say...

you're absolutely right!

You can take off your blindfold.

Well done, that means you get to eliminate

-one of the "disappointing presents".

-Sorry, I kept missing that.

We know which ones the disappointing ones are, so I'm going to come over

and eliminate one, and I'm going to go for present number 1.

Let's see what was inside.

-Oh!

-No!

It's last year's Christmas turkey carcass. Disappointing!

-You don't want that on your sandwich.

-You don't.

-OK, Nathan, are you ready for the next question?

-Yeah.

-Blindfold on.

At home, do you have A, a real Christmas tree

or B, a fake Christmas tree?

Hold up your cards, A or B, now.

That's pretty clear to me.

Nathan, how do you think the majority have answered?

Was it A, a real Christmas tree or B, a fake Christmas tree?

B, a fake Christmas tree.

You're going for B. You know what, Nathan, you're right!

Take your blindfold off.

I'd say about 71.7% of our studio audience said B.

-Well done.

-OK, so that means we get to eliminate another

"disappointing box".

I'm going to go with this one, number 5, cos it's the closest.

Let's see what it was.

A melted snowball. You can't even see it.

Nobody wants that.

-Be the worst snowball fight ever.

-Well done, Nathan, you're doing well.

Audience, here's your final question.

What is the best Christmas song?

Is it A, Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer,

or B, Jingle Bells?

Please hold up your cards, A or B, now.

-Oh...

-Difficult one.

I would say around about 51.1% of the audience.

OK, Nathan, what will it be?

I'm going to go with B for Jingle Bells.

You're wrong! Sorry, Nathan. It was so close.

But it was actually A, Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer.

OK, that means there are three boxes left.

One of these boxes contains your dream gift.

OK, Nathan, it's now time to make your choice.

-Which box are you going for?

-Uh...number 3.

OK, in that case, could you stand behind box number 3?

Now, as it's Christmas, we are going to give you

the option of whether you would like to stick with box 3 or swap it.

It's entirely up to you.

What are you laughing at, audience?

-Don't know what you're talking about.

-It's Christmas.

-Christmas.

I'm going to stay with 3.

To make this a lot easier, we're going to get rid of 4 already.

Get rid of it.

We're going to eliminate box 4 to make your decision even easier, OK?

Box 4 was a disappointing present and it was...

-reindeer poo.

-Oh, dear!

Stinking the joint out here.

So, there are just two boxes left.

It's Christmas, so, Nathan, I'm going to ask you - it's up to you!

-No pressure from us.

-Not putting any pressure on you.

No pressure at all. Your dream gift could be in box number 3 or...

-it could be in box number 2.

-But we don't know.

So what are you going to do,

are you going to stick with 3 or are you going to...

LAUGHTER

..go to 2.

-What are you going to do?

-I'm going to change my mind and go with 2.

Oh, it's risky! CHEERING

Nathan, if you'd like to stand behind box 2. This is the moment of truth.

Was it worth changing the boxes?

If you'd like to open box 2 - is it your dream gift?

STAR WARS THEME PLAYS

CHEERING

You've won your dream gift! It's a fantastic Star Wars toy!

-Yay!

-What do you think of that?

You can pick it up!

-Are you happy?

-Very!

He's dropped it!

He's smashed it up, big-time.

-So what is that, Nathan?

-BB-8!

It's a BB-8!

CHEERING

And just to prove everything was above board,

let's see what was inside this box that you nearly chose.

Well done for changing, mate.

Inside this box was...

the last Brussels sprout from last Christmas.

That's gotta be crispy!

Nathan, you have been fantastic. Hasn't he, audience?

CHEERING

Also you're going to be playing our end game later on

so you might win some more prizes. Does that sound good?

-Yeah, very good.

-Beautiful. In that case, mate, get yourself

down to the Wind-Down Zone, take BB-8, we'll see you later.

It's Nathan, everyone!

Ladies and gentlemen,

tonight on the Wind-Up Wheel

it's Wolfblood's Leona Vaughan!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Are you all right?

Yeah, I think I'm OK, yeah. I've been a bit nervous.

Don't be nervous. You're in Wolfblood, it's much scarier there!

Now, here on Wind-Up, we are through with

old-fashioned celebrity interviews.

So we're turning things around both metaphorically and physically.

-Nice use of long words there.

-Thanks, mate.

-I just wish I knew what they meant.

-Here's how it works -

we'll be spinning Leona around till she's dizzy.

If she lands on Truth we'll ask her a very serious question, or not.

But if she lands on Wind-Up we'll give her a forfeit

and it could be literally anything.

But it's likely to be very Christmassy!

-How you feeling now?

-Even more nervous!

THEY LAUGH

-OK, right, let's get started and...

-ALL: Wind up that wheel!

Ahh...

Stop the wheel!

-Oh!

-Oh!

-I think it's just in Wind-Up. Just in.

-Wind-Up.

-OK, Leona, pick a number between one and ten.

-Um, four.

Four, OK. Good one.

Do your best frightened turkey impression.

Get up, stand up. Frightened turkey.

SHE SCREECHES

It's good! Do more of it!

SHE SCREECHES

Very good!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

ALL: Wind up that wheel!

Stop the wheel.

-Truth!

-Truth.

Number three.

-Number three.

-Yeah.

Who should provide the batteries for a gift with no batteries included -

the gift giver or gift receiver?

The gift giver. Right?

-Yeah? Gift giver.

-AUDIENCE CHEERS

You and the audience are wrong.

You should always have a secret stash at home. Always!

OK, for the last time, it's time to...

-ALL:

-Wind up that wheel!

Stop that wheel!

-We got it.

-So close.

-Wind-Up.

-Number nine.

Pull the most Christmassy face you possibly can.

LAUGHTER

Round of applause for that Christmassy face.

APPLAUSE

Leona, that entertained us all.

It's the future of the celebrity interview right there.

Give it up for Leona, everyone!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Really well done.

-VOMITING

-Oh!

-Not so lovely now.

Now it's time for our first hidden camera wind-up of the series,

-and this time I'm the victim.

-Yeah, you are.

You may have heard that Mark and I

are the presenters of Junior Bake Off, the biggest TV brand

in the world, just saying.

Well, Sam thought the Bake Off tent would be the ideal place

to wind me up, and I'm sad to say he wasn't wrong.

Yes, this boy ended up with egg all over his face in more ways than one.

-Mark, would you please like to do the honours down camera 4.

-Run VT.

We are about to attempt the trickiest wind-up yet

by turning the tables on our very own Mark.

Let's hope it's a recipe for success. On your marks, get set, fake!

We've been filming the new series of Junior Bake Off and Mark thinks

we have some additional links to film for CBBC.

What he doesn't know is that they're all made up.

The Bake Off crew are all in on it as well as Ben,

an actor who will be playing our director.

For this to work we need to get Mark on his own but, of course,

I've got a plan for that.

-Hi, I'm Ben.

-I'm Mark, nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you, Mark.

The other one's on his way.

I sent him a text saying, "I'm on my way back, mate,

"but stuck in a little traffic." He replied saying,

"They want me to go down to the tent to block through" - rehearse -

"without you. Just come to the tent when you're back."

What he doesn't know is that I am back -

at the back of the Bake Off tent watching every move he makes.

Let's see how he presents without me.

Oh, and we also have another actor, Josh,

who will be playing our eager yet not-so-bright work experience.

-OK, we good?

-Yeah.

Three, two, one. Action.

Hi, guys, there's just one week to go before the brand-new series

of Junior Bake Off. There'll be this...

There'll be some of this...

And there'll be plenty of this.

I'm not happy that he's not even questioned that he's recording

these links on his own. We've been a duo for 12 years.

That's Junior Bake Off, only on the CBBC channel.

-Cut.

-What worries me even more is he's doing it really well.

Our director now wants Mark to really sell the show

using a variety of ingredients for a special promotional trail.

But will he do it?

Three, two, one. Action.

Eggs.

STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGH

HE LAUGHS

-Can I maybe just try another one with the other egg?

-Yeah.

I don't think he's clocked yet.

HE LAUGHS

Eggs.

OK, cut.

Butter. Grab a handful.

Hold it up. Squeeze.

-Butter.

-STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGH

Cut. Great!

I love the fact when I'm not there he just goes along with everything!

Yeast.

I know what you're thinking -

if this trail was real, what would it look like?

Probably something like this.

Eggs.

Sugar.

Butter.

Yeast.

Junior Bake Off. Only on the CBBC channel.

Yummy! Rarr!

Mark Rhodes - the presenter that will do anything.

Mark's oblivious, but will he film some bits that can be

shown around the world? Let's see how good he is with foreign languages.

I don't believe he'll buy this.

MARK SPEAKS DUTCH BADLY

Mark doesn't realise, but what he's actually saying is,

"My bottom is very itchy and spotty."

STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGH

IN DUTCH:

It's quite good, actually.

Great, that's fine.

-Perfect, well done.

-Mark's about to speak Polish.

And, ironically, he's about to say, "I'm being set up and have no idea."

HE SPEAKS POLISH

Am I being filmed here?

CREW LAUGH

That's the first time he's questioned any of this.

But he's still carrying on.

HE SPEAKS POLISH BADLY

HE LAUGHS

HE SPEAKS POLISH BADLY

HE LAUGHS

IN POLISH:

I'm not sure that's how it's meant to be said. Sorry, Poland.

Absolutely brilliant. Thank you very much. I love that.

Think he's genuinely buying this. I am shocked.

Time for the main link, which I should be in but I'm not,

so will he still do it without me?

This probably won't work in a single

because we kind of need to be both in shot at the same time.

He's got my back on this one.

Josh, could you maybe stand in?

They've just put Josh in, our "work experience", to stand in for me.

It's Josh and Mark anyway, now.

-The Josh and Mark Show.

-Josh and Mark, is it?

-"Josh and Mark!"

-And...action.

Oh, that's your line, sorry.

Oh! Oh, yeah, sorry. I forgot I were Sam. Sorry.

Sorry, my bad. I'm sorry.

Right, Josh, it's fine, it's fine.

Hi, I'm Sam and he's Mark.

And Junior Bake Off is back.

And we have a brand-new batch of Britain's best budding bakers...

HE LAUGHS

HE LAUGHS

Sorry, you're better than Sam, actually!

LAUGHTER

Well, that's a credit, innit?

OK, let's do it again.

Hi, I'm Sam and he's Mark.

MARK LAUGHS

And action.

-Hi, I'm Sam and he's Mark.

-And Junior Bake Off is back.

And we have a brand-new batch of Britain's best budding bakers...

Tough new judges...

And maybe the greatest presenting duo around...

Sam hands sliced cake to Mark.

HE LAUGHS

Sorry, Josh, I didn't explain that bit to you.

That's a stage direction.

Mark's having a brilliant time, but will he still be smiling

after he's taken a bite out of our specially made disgusting cake?

-Action.

-And maybe the greatest presenting duo around.

So if you want a slice of the action, tune in to...

-Here we go.

-..Junior Bake Off 2015.

He's eating the cake.

And cut.

LAUGHTER

You all right, mate?

Who's made that?

-Do you want some water?

-Yes, please.

-Yeah?

-Bit salty, innit?

-Yeah.

Wowzers. Oh!

-I don't think there's owt wrong with that, I'll finish that.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-That's very brave.

Josh really is a good actor, cos he's eating that and not pulling a face.

The next link is outside. Sam's nowhere nearer, I assume?

It's going dark.

He's still not questioning this. Let's crank it up a notch.

While the team set up outside for the last link I'll give Mark a call.

What a first day, eh?

Let's hope he answers.

It'll be last-minute, anyway, so... I appreciate you obviously staying.

Sam, it's Sam.

All right, mate? Stitched me up here, ain't you?

-Mate, I'm so sorry.

-Where are you?

We've just been properly, like, gridlocked.

I've just got out the taxi cos I'm literally two minutes away.

-All right, mate, OK.

-Sorry. Bye.

-Bye.

-Bye.

The scene is set and Mark's running through his lines

whilst he waits for me to arrive. Well, that's what he thinks, anyway.

"This is the most explosive episode yet.

That's right, we're going out with a bang."

-And just here?

-Perfect, yeah.

This is the one.

You ready? And...action.

We're just minutes away from the grand finale.

Who will produce the ultimate Showstopper?

This is the final episode. That's right, we're going out with a bang.

STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHS

APPLAUSE

SAM LAUGHS

Hey, mate.

You've just been Smarked on your own show!

THEY LAUGH

I couldn't even get the link right!

SAM LAUGHS

I'm never going to get this out my suit!

Right, have you been suspicious at any point? Be honest.

I started to get a little bit suspicious...

never. I'm the most gullible person in the entire world!

What about when you were doing the Worldwide links?

Did you not think of anything there?

No, I just thought we were big in Poland.

THEY LAUGH

-Oh, brilliant!

-Seriously...

-And that cake that you ate?

-It was full of salt.

-It was full of...it was disgusting!

But I didn't want to, I didn't want to hurt anybody's feelings.

-Oh, mate.

-It tasted horrendous.

Mate, we got you.

-Aw.

-We got you good.

We got you good, mate. Hey, back to us in the studio.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-That was so good.

-Got me good.

-Happy new series!

-Yes, thank you, thank you.

-Did you enjoy that, everyone? AUDIENCE:

-Yeah!

-Yeah!

-Is Mark a fool? AUDIENCE:

-Yeah!

-MARK LAUGHS Sorry, mate.

-Yes!

We have got loads more hidden camera fun this series for you,

including wind-ups on the sets of Emmerdale and Wolfblood

-and a prank with our mates, The Vamps.

-But right now,

here's what else is coming up on the rest of Big Christmas Wind-Up...

We crank up the tension in Splat-In-The-Box,

Amy-Leigh Hickman joins Mark's team in Kara-ho-ho-ho-ke...

And Christmas continues in the Weekend Wind-Down.

Oi, you lot, no silence in court!

CHEERING

Please rise for his worship, Lord Justice Bird!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Order, order.

I've just sentenced a man to 25 years

for breaking and entering.

He was called Mr S Claus. You won't be seeing him for a while.

MUSIC PLAYS

Jail!

And the hot-shot parent prosecutor,

Samuel Barbara Nixon, QC.

APPLAUSE

I submit that YOU...

have a criminal record!

And it's this!

MUSIC PLAYS

Sam and Mark's 2004 hit single, it's criminal!

Make it stop.

Make it stop! MUSIC STOPS

That's much better.

Keep that, though. I'll sign that for you, mate. No worries, no worries.

Right, it's time to find out whose parents are guilty

of criminally embarrassing behaviour.

-Her!

-Her!

-Her!

-Her!

-You're pointing at her?

-Yeah, her!

-Her?

-Yeah!

-What, her?

Her? Her whose name is Gail?!

Hey?! LAUGHTER

Yeah, we've heard about you, Gail.

Now, Gail, I know that you're very embarrassing, because once,

-you got in a lift, didn't you?

-Yes.

Who did you get in a lift with?

-I was in the lift by myself, initially.

-Right.

-And who walked into the lift?

-David Beckham.

-David Beckham!

AUDIENCE GASPS

Obviously, Gail, you wanted to impress him.

But what did you do, Gail?

I trumped.

LAUGHTER

Oh, dear.

You trumped in David Beckham's face, in a lift.

-Yeah.

-And this is your daughter, Holly.

-Yeah.

-Merry Christmas, your name's Holly.

-Was this embarrassing for you?

-Yeah.

-I bet it was. How do you find the defendant?

-Guilty!

Now, apologise.

-I'm so sorry.

-Now apologise to Holly.

-I'm sorry.

Oh, dear, but you're not the only one, trumpy mum. Oh, no.

-Her!

-Her!

-Her!

I tell you who else is guilty...

DRUMROLL

It's you, Indy!

LAUGHTER

-Hi.

-Please join us in the Wind-Up courtroom for Parents On Trial!

Come on, Indy, down there. Down there.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Order! Order. Ooh, Christmassy.

Indy, have you any idea why you're standing before this court today?

-I have no idea.

-Mmm...

-Well, perhaps you need a clue?

Mr Akai, please bring out exhibit A.

DRUMROLL

HE SIGHS

Indy, please open the bag and show the court what's inside.

-Or Akai can do it.

-LAUGHTER

Either way, I just want it out of the bag.

What is this modern piece of fabric I see before me?

Um, it's a top that my mum won at a dance thing,

like a holiday thing.

You're saying she won this T-shirt in a dancing competition on holiday?

-Yeah.

-Interesting. What dance was she performing?

Um, either the Choco Latte or the chi-chua thing.

Well, I think we should get Mr Akai

to demonstrate this chocolate, Choco Latte dance thing to the court.

Mr Akai. MUSIC STARTS

# Choco choco-latte

# Everybody say it, choco-latte!

# Choco choco latte

# Choco choco latte

# Everybody say it, choco-latte! #

-Thank you.

-Thank you! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Thank you, Mr Akai. Thank you very much.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

I think we need to see Indy's mother do it herself.

# I don't want a lot for Christmas

# There's just one thing I need

# Don't care about the presents

# Underneath the Christmas tree

# What more can I do?

# Baby, all I want for Christmas... #

And she hasn't stopped there.

Bring out the accused, Indy's mum, Kate!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

APPLAUSE CONTINUES

Yeah! Let's hear it for Kate, everyone.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Indy, have all your Christmases come at once?

-Yeah!

-Aw!

-Time to reach a verdict.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, do you find the defendant guilty,

or not guilty?

Ah. Oh, dear.

Indy's mum, Kate, you have been found guilty

of criminal embarrassing behaviour.

Therefore I sentence you to the next 20 minutes

listening to someone's dad

snore after eating a heavy Christmas dinner.

-LAUGHTER

-Mr Akai, send her down.

BELL TOLLS AND MAN SNORES

Well... MAN GRUNTS AND YELPS

..it would appear that justice has been served here today,

but, Indy, I think you deserve a Christmas reward for testifying,

so we're going to be giving you a Christmas tablet!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

By Christmas tablet I mean it's a normal tablet,

-we've just put some tinsel around it, but does that sound good?

-Yeah.

Excellent stuff. Beautiful.

That's not all, cos pretty soon you and your family

are going to be playing against Nathan and his family

in tonight's grand finale, so you might win some more prizes.

-Is that exciting?

-Yeah.

-Lovely stuff.

You go and join Nathan in the Wind-Down Zone,

we'll see you later on.

Please give it up for Indy, everyone.

CHEERING

And a massive round of applause to our jury, The Overtones!

They're going to be performing at the end of the show,

looking forward to that. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Is everyone here enjoying the show?

-AUDIENCE:

-Yes!

-Yay!

Lovely, well, seeing as everyone is happy,

it's time to play a game that we like to call Kara-ho-ho-ho-ke!

This is a part of the show where Mark does Christmas battle

with a member of our studio audience.

Mark, are you going to be the star at the top of the tree,

or the lump of coal in the bottom of the stocking?

I am the star...and you know it.

-Excellent banter.

-Yes.

-Time to find out who you'll be facing.

-Come on!

CLAPPING

Max and Kizzy from Cheshire, come on down!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come here, you.

Come here, you. Come here. Yeah! Yeah!

-Nice Christmas jumpers.

-Thanks.

I like them. They are good, aren't they?

-Bit overboard, I think.

-LAUGHTER

Max and Kizzy, eh, happy Kizzymas.

MARK LAUGHS

Anyway, tell us, why do you guys think you can beat Mark today?

Well, if it was against YOU, then I'd have lost already,

but it's Mark, so it can't be that hard.

LAUGHTER

OK, now, there are two of you guys and only one of Mark,

so in the spirit of Christmas,

let's make things fair and give Mark a partner.

Not me, cos you would've won, like these guys said. Yeah!

Instead, let's hear it for Amy-Leigh Hickman,

AKA Carmen from The Dumping Ground.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Come over here, you!

Yay!

Nice. Amy, are you ready for this challenge?

I think so. Maybe, I think so.

That's positive. LAUGHTER

Well, here's how you play.

We are going to give you each individually

a well-known Christmas song to sing.

Sounds perfectly easy, that, doesn't it?

SHOUTS: Well, it isn't!

Because we've changed some of the lyrics in a marginally funny way.

Max, you are going to be going first,

so if you'd like to step up to the mic, please.

Thank you very much.

Your song is Jingle Bells. The lyrics will be there on the screen for you.

Here we go.

MUSIC STARTS

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Come over here, Max.

What a ledge, what a ledge!

OK, stand here, Max, stand here.

Audience, how was that?

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Ooh, ooh, ooh!

Ooh!

That was almost off the scale.

I can confirm, on the Audience-o-meter, that was...

an eight!

Very good, very good. Nice work.

OK, next up it's Amy-Leigh.

Amy-Leigh, if you'd like to take to the mic, please.

-Yeah, we got it, we got it, we got it.

-Weird. It's weird.

Now, Amy-Leigh, your song is Santa Claus Is Coming To Town.

-Do you know it?

-Er, yeah.

-Do you know this version?

-I'm thinking maybe not now.

Best of luck. The lyrics will be on the screen.

-Here we go.

-Thanks.

MUSIC STARTS

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Brilliant. Brilliant. Come over here.

That's what I'm talking about. Very good.

-Very good.

-Wow!

Audience, how did Amy-Leigh do?

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

What's that face for?

-It was good, but I don't think it was quite as good as Max's.

-What?

-No.

We're going with the Audience-o-meter

and that said number seven.

THEY SIGH

-Close.

-Well done.

-Thank you.

Kizzy, you're up next. Merry Kizzymas.

Yeah, go on. Stand over by the mic.

OK, now, Kizzy, you're going to be singing

Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer.

-Do you know it?

-Yeah.

-Do you know this version?

-Um, I'm not too sure about that.

-Well, we're about to find out.

You've got Rudolph on your jumper. I'm sure that's going to help.

Best of luck. Here we go. Cue the music.

MUSIC STARTS

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Well done, Kizzy, well done.

Nice work. That was good.

Lovely voice. OK, so, audience, it's over to you.

How do you think Kizzy did?

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Ooh!

Ooh, it's almost like One Direction were here or something.

I can say that on the Audience-o-meter,

you scored nine!

APPLAUSE

So we've got a nine and an eight.

I need 11 to win. Brilliant(!)

-OK, but ten to draw.

-OK.

-That's all right.

-Merry Christmas.

-OK, Mark, if you'd like to step up to the mic.

-Let's do this.

Oh, he's took the mic out of the mic stand. What a loser!

LAUGHTER

Why are you standing like that?

-Mark, Mark...

-What?

-..you are singing the beautiful classic...

-I know!

-..Deck The Halls.

-Oh, I didn't know that.

OK, best of luck. Cue the music.

MUSIC STARTS

One more, one more.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

OK, Mark, over here. Over here.

Well done.

Before we go to the audience, Amy-Leigh, how do you think Mark did?

-I think definitely 11, maybe even a 12.

-Ah!

Well, it doesn't go up to that, so good luck with that.

Audience, it's over to you guys. How did Mark do?

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Pretty loud. That's pretty loud.

That is pretty loud

and I can confirm that on the Audience-o-meter you scored...

Two.

LAUGHTER

Sorry, mate. Sorry about that.

I thought it was a lot louder than that.

Which means Max and Kizzy are today's winner!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And that means you guys get the I Beat Mark trophy. There you go, guys.

Share it. Hold it up high. Yay!

Now, Max and Kizzy, it's time for you guys to enjoy the Wind-Down Zone.

We'll see you there a bit later on.

Give it up for Max and Kizzy, everyone! Go that way. See you later.

APPLAUSE

And also a massive round of applause for Amy-Leigh Hickman!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I'm Peter Andre,

and Sam and Mark are the most mysterious girls I've ever met.

Watch them on Sam and Mark's Big Friday Wind-Up.

Welcome to our brand-new spine-chilling game.

-It's got questions.

-It's got answers.

But, most of all,

it's got a big box with lots of horrible slimy stuff inside.

THUNDER CLAP

BEASTLY LAUGH

-Let's welcome back our star players.

-Nathan's team.

-And Indy's team!

APPLAUSE

OK, Nathan, please introduce your team.

Er, this is my sister, Abigail, my mum, Adele, and my dad, Dave.

Lovely to have you here. Indy, please introduce your team.

This is my mum, Kate, my granny, Christine, and my grandad, John.

-Excellent.

-Best of luck to both teams. Now this is a game of chance.

-And skill.

-Each team will take turns to step up to...

BOTH: The Box Of Horrors!

SCARY MUSIC

Once there, you will have just ten seconds

to answer a general knowledge question.

But be quick, because the longer it takes you to answer,

the more times you will have to wind up that crank.

For example, if you take three seconds to answer a question,

that means three full turns of the crank.

Don't get one wrong, cos if you do,

we have a triple-T situation on our hands.

-But, Mark, whatever IS a triple-T situation?

-I'll tell you, Sam.

It's when a team must wind up the crank for a maximum

ten terrifying turns!

Mwa-ha-ha-ha!

SPEAKS GIBBERISH

Nobody in the studio will know how many turns will make that box open.

But when it does, one team will get covered in slimy, slimy badness!

And the other wins the game.

Which means they will go home with tonight's star prize -

a games console!

OK, for our viewers at home,

time to find out how many turns will make that box open tonight,

and if you don't want to know, close your eyes around about now.

Now, to decide who goes first, Sam here has a genuine one Smark coin.

Indy, what will it be? Will it be Sam's or Mark's?

-Um, Mark's.

-OK.

-Good flick.

-Thanks, mate.

-What you got there?

-It's Sam's...

-Ooh! OK.

..which means Nathan's team, you guys are going to go first.

If you'd like to step into position, please.

Now, your time will start as soon as Mark finishes asking the question.

Name two of Santa's reindeers beginning with the letter D.

-Donner.

-Dasher.

-Correct.

-Well done, guys.

You answered that in three seconds, which means three full turns.

-Nathan, are you doing the honours?

-OK.

-Here we go.

One.

Two.

Three.

OK, well done. OK, please swap positions.

Multiply the number of gold rings in the 12 Days Of Christmas

by the number of French hens.

-15.

-Correct!

Well done, Indy. You've answered that in two seconds,

which means two full turns of the crank.

One.

Two. Oh, well done.

OK, please swap positions.

On what day of the week did Christmas fall in 2014?

-Need an answer.

-Thursday.

Correct!

Well done. You answered that in six seconds, which means six full turns.

-Who's doing it this time?

-Abigail.

-Abigail.

LAUGHTER

-Pretty much Abigail.

-Here we go. Six full turns.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Six.

Well done. Teams, swap positions.

Goodness me.

OK, if Christmas Day falls on a Monday,

what day of the week would New Year's Eve be?

-Sunday.

-Correct.

Well done, guys. That took you five seconds...

-Do you want to do it?

-..which means five full turns.

Indy, best of luck. Here we go.

One.

Two.

Three.

Oh, guys, unlucky. How are you feeling?

Wet.

LAUGHTER

-Sorry.

-Guys, you've been fantastic sports.

Indy, don't forget earlier on today you did win that fantastic tablet,

-so you happy with that?

-Yeah.

And we're not going to send you guys home empty-handed.

We're going to give you a commemorative Smark coin set!

And we're going to give you a towel.

Guys, thank you for being great sports.

We'll see you in the Wind-Down Zone. Go and get yourselves cleaned up.

We'll see you later. Give it up for Indy's team!

APPLAUSE

Be careful, guys, be careful.

But Nathan's team, come over here.

Round of applause for our winning team. Well done!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

You have won tonight's star prize, a games console!

And you won that Star Wars prize earlier, as well.

You're having a great day, Nathan, aren't you? Fantastic.

-What do you think of that? Happy?

-Brilliant.

-Absolutely brilliant.

Well, give it up one more time for Nathan's team, everyone.

APPLAUSE

-Good Christmas for them.

-Brilliant Christmas for them.

It's going to be even better now, because right now

here's The Overtones performing Santa Claus Is Coming To Town!

# So! You better watch out You better not cry

# You better not pout I'm telling you why

# Santa Claus is coming to town

# He's making a list He's checking it twice

# Gonna find out Who's naughty or nice

# Santa Claus is coming to town Santa Claus is coming to town

# Santa Claus is coming to town

# He sees you when you're sleeping He knows when you're awake

# He knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness' sake

# Oh... So...

# You better watch out You better not cry

# You better not pout I'm telling you why

# Santa Claus is coming to town

# Santa Claus is coming to town Santa Claus is coming to town

# Santa Claus is coming to town

# Santa Claus is coming, yeah

# Santa Claus is coming

# Santa Claus is coming...to town! #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Christmas! Yeah!

-I love The Overtones.

-So brilliant.

-I want to be in The Overtones!

-You can't.

-That was so good there.

-Thank you so much for that, guys. That was awesome.

-Fantastic.

That's it from Big Christmas Wind-Up. Thank you to you for watching.

-Big thank you to our lovely Wind-Up audience!

-Yay!

CHEERING

Brilliant. But the Weekend Wind-Down is just about to begin.

You are now all invited to our after-show VIP Christmas party.

We're hanging out with everyone we've surprised tonight.

Amy-Leigh Hickman from The Dumping Ground's going to be there.

Akai from The 4 O'Clock Club's going to be there.

And The Overtones are going to be there, doing another song for us.

It's going to be brilliant. We've got games, gossip,

basically, lots of Christmassy things.

-You do not want to miss it. Let's go, let's go, Rudolph!

-Let's do it!

Um. It's not going to work, is it?

RAUCOUS CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

BOTH: # God rest ye merry gentlemen Let nothing you dismay

# Remember... #

-Oh... Hey!

-Hey!

Hey, welcome to the Wind-Down Zone. We wound up the week.

And it's now time to wind down for the Christmas weekend.

-Look at this, it's lovely!

-I know.

-It's VIP. It's VIP, people.

Come over here.

Now, if you were unlucky enough to miss Big Friday Wind-Up,

-here it is in a 30-second recap scenario.

-Here we go.

We began the show by... # Walking in the air! #

Lovely. Still got it, mate(!)

We made Nathan's Christmas wish come true

-when he won a Star Wars BB-8 toy.

-Easy for you to say.

Leona Vaughan from Wolfblood, she did an impression of

a frightened Christmas turkey, it was tremendous.

Indy's mum Kate did a terrible Christmas dance

through the BBC studios.

We did Christmas Kara-ho-ho-ho-ke but changed most of the lyrics to "bum".

Nathan's family beat Indy's family in Splat-In-The-Box.

The Overtones sang us out.

-Yes!

-And they're going to sing us out at the end of this show as well!

Mind yourselves, I nearly smashed someone in the face with a card!

Mark, sum that Wind-Up episode up in the style of Father Christmas.

Ho, ho, ho, silliness.

OK!

-Look at thee, look at you, you silly turkey.

-I love turkey.

-Who have we got?

-THEY CHEER

-Nathan, Indy, oh, look at you.

-Guys, are you all right?

Good, thank you.

Now, on Big Christmas Wind-Up, you guys here at the back,

-you got a bit gunged, didn't you?

-Yeah.

-Come forward. Don't be shy.

Show us those dance moves, give it a shot.

-Oh, yeah!

-Kate danced as well on Wind-Up.

-Fantastic dancing, that was.

We're going to see you guys a little bit later.

-Enjoy yourselves in the VIP zone.

-Chill out, relax. Wind down.

Look at who we've got here. Look. Look who it is.

It's Amy from The Dumping Ground. And Chris Johnson. Hurray!

-How are you?

-Ah... Well.

-All right.

Loving the Christmas jumper, loving it, mate.

-Don't get to wear it very often. Once a year.

-Well, exactly.

You're pulling it off, mate, it looks lovely.

Because it's Christmas, we thought we'd do a nice quiz

all about terrible Christmas cracker jokes.

We are going to tell you the terrible Christmas cracker joke.

You guys have to buzz in if you think you know the punchline.

-Understood?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Excellent. Here we go.

Christmas cracker joke number one.

Why isn't Santa working this Christmas?

-Buzz in, buzz in, come on, come on.

-Come on! Come on, come on!

-Ah... Ah, no.

-Three seconds, three, two...

BUZZER

Because he's got a day off, I don't know!

He's got many days off.

-Cos he got the sack.

-Ah, see, see!

-Oh!

It's so obvious when you hear it.

-You're a comedy genius, man.

-I never said that.

Next terrible Christmas cracker joke.

What do penguins sing at birthday parties?

-What! Um. Oh.

-It's good, that.

Mm-hm-mm.

-Three, two... Amy?

-BUZZER

Let it...waddle?

That famous Christmas song, Let It Waddle(!)

Freezer Jolly Good Fellow!

Freezer Jolly Good Fellow. See.

Next one. Bit of word fun.

Why does Santa have three gardens?

Come on. What do you do in a garden? Come on.

BUZZER

-Let it grow, let it grow, let it grow?

-Ooh, so close.

-So close.

It was actually, so he can hoe-hoe-hoe!

Oh, right! Very good.

They're getting worse.

What kind of athlete stays warm at Christmas?

Ooh. Ooh.

BUZZER

-A long jumper.

-Yay!

-Yes!

Last one, here we go.

This is a good one, come on, we know this. It's a famous one.

What disease do you get if you eat a Christmas decoration?

Come on, come on.

SAM PRETENDS TO CROAK

-That's it. They know.

-Have a guess!

-BUZZER

-Tinselitis.

-Yes!

-Yes!

-FINAL HOOTER

-We got there in the end.

-What a horrible game.

-It was horrible.

Chris Johnson, I'm so disappointed with you.

I thought you'd be much better at that.

Anyway, you can have some stuffing on a spoon, and you can as well.

Don't eat it, though, it's been there for years.

All right, well, see you later.

Look, it's The Overtones!

CHEERING

You are looking swish, guys, you make us look like...

You're looking not so bad yourself.

-Thank you very much.

-Like James Bond, everything, fantastic.

Now, we love having you guys on Wind-Up.

If you missed Big Christmas Wind-Up, these guys sang us out,

-and will sing at the end of the show.

-We are indeed.

Excellent, we look forward to it. You've got a Christmas album out.

We do. It's called Good Old-Fashioned Christmas.

-It's out now, actually, go and buy it.

-Buy it.

Does that mean you guys are busy over Christmas?

-Have you got some time off?

-We are really busy.

We're actually on tour around the UK. So, yeah, really busy.

-We do get Christmas off, which we're happy about.

-Good.

-Busy leading up to it, like you guys.

-True.

-Still enough time to look as smooth as you do.

-How do you do it, man?

I was going to start halfway through the tour!

Speaking of Christmas, I'm talking about rubbish presents now,

what's the worst present any of the band mates have given you? Anyone?

Every year, we give ourselves a Secret Santa

but we are only allowed to spend a pound.

-I like that.

-We get some ridiculously bad presents.

Last year, I got a Little Mermaid shower cap.

Do you still wear it?

Truth be told, I actually really like it.

All right for a pound. Not bad for a pound.

One last question, guys, the last time you were on,

we did ask this question but things may have changed.

I think it was Mike, you came up with the best hair.

-Have you still got the best hair? It looks pretty good.

-Magical.

Lads, you need to answer this, I think.

It speaks for itself, doesn't it? Look at it.

I'm looking at the monitor and, yeah, I have got the best hair.

-You're very modest.

-He is.

-You're going to sing us out at the end of the show.

-We'd love to.

We love you guys, thanks for coming onto the show.

-Thank you.

-Any time.

The Overtones, everyone. CHEERING

Go and get yourselves ready over there. We'll see you soon.

Hello! How are you doing?

Are you here for our game? Celebrity Cookalikes?

This is a fantastic Christmas game.

-You can play it at home.

-Don't big it up too much.

We've got Max and Kizzy here. These guys were on Big Christmas Wind-Up.

-Are you all right, guys?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-We've got Akai. How are you doing?

-I'm good.

Chris Johnson, I can't believe you're still here after that performance.

-Terrible!

-Amy from The Dumping Ground. All right?

-We're trying to redeem ourselves.

-Hopefully, you can.

-Let's hope so.

-Do you want to explain the rules?

-We're going to show you a picture

of a celebrity in Christmas dinner form. And then we want you to guess

-which celebrity it is. It's pretty simple.

-It is, actually.

Mark, you do the honours by pulling off the Cloth of Truth.

First one is that one.

Who could that be? I'll put it there for you. Who do you think it is?

-BUZZER

-Ed Sheeran.

You're saying Ed Sheeran. Amy, you are right!

-Look at that!

-It's like looking into a terrible mirror.

It's uncanny. Next one, number two.

-Next one, number two is, this is good.

-Who's that?

We've got carrots, a bit of hummus somewhere.

-Wait, wait, is that One Direction?

-You're saying One Direction.

Oh, yeah, there's four members now. BELL

-It's not One Direction. Amy?

-Little Mix?

-Ooh, OK.

-Amy. You, my love,

are on fire! It's Little Mix!

-Looks just like them(!)

-Absolutely.

-Little Dips! Little Dips!

Totally redeeming yourself.

OK, next one, here we go. Who's this?

This is amazing. BUZZER

-Max?

-Hacker?

-You're saying Hacker. It's Hacker T Dog!

That looks more like Hacker than that does.

That's amazing. Fantastic.

-Made in meat paste as well.

-Of course.

-I can eat that.

-Next one.

Who have we got here?

-Tricky.

-It is tricky.

-Tricky, this.

BUZZER

Is that Shannon and Katie?

It's not Shannon and Katie from CBBC.

-Think, think dancing.

-Think Saturday nights.

-Saturday night dancing.

Oh, what are their names?

Just describe them.

Got to move you on.

BUZZER

-Tess and Claudia.

-Tess and Claudia.

I love that you said Olly and Flack, Max!

It is Tess and Claudia.

Yeah!

Absolutely brilliant. OK. Number five.

-Here we go.

-All right.

-Need to speed it up.

-BUZZER

-Usain Bolt.

-Usain Bolt! It's Usain Bolt!

-Yes.

Pass us number six. Number six. What's number six?

Thanks, OK, which one's this one? This is tremendous, tremendous.

We mentioned him earlier.

-He liked cakes.

-BUZZER

-Paul Hollywood.

-Yay!

-Yes!

OK, final one. This is for the Championship Of The World.

Really good-looking, really, really good.

-Oh, I was going to say you...

-Oh!

-BUZZER

-Max, because you've been like that, Max?

-Sam and Mark.

CHEERING

What a tremendous game. You should play it at home.

-Merry Christmas, everyone.

-Yeah!

Thank you ever so much, guys.

Right now, though, come over here, will you?

-Come over here.

-Come on.

-It's The Overtones, everyone.

CHEERING

Big thank-you to everybody that has been on the show tonight.

And a Merry Christmas to everyone.

The Overtones are going to sing us out with a fantastic song.

-I'm very excited.

-Merry Christmas to you, boys.

-Off you go, guys.

The Overtones, everyone! CHEERING

# Just hear those sleigh bells jingling

-# Ring ting-a-ling-a-ling too

-Ding, dong, ding, dong

# Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you

# Ding, dong, ding, dong

# Outside the snow is falling And friends are calling yoo-hoo!

# Ding, dong, ding, dong

# Come on, it's lovely weather For a sleigh ride together with you

# Ding, dong, ding Ding-dong, ding

# Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a Ding dong ding

# Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a Ding dong ding

# Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a Ding dong ding

# Ah, ah

# Ah, ah, wah

# Our cheeks are nice and rosy And comfy and cosy are we

# Ding, dong, ding, dong

# We're snuggled up together Like two birds of a feather would be

# Ding, dong, ding, dong

# Let's take that road before us And sing a chorus or two

# Ding, dong, ding, dong

# Come on, it's lovely weather For a sleigh ride together with you

# Sleigh ride together with you Wop, wop! #

Merry Christmas!

CHEERING

Merry Christmas, everybody!