Peter Andre Sam & Mark's Big Friday Wind Up

'Why is this man frowning?

LAUGHTER

'Why is this girl squirming?

'And what is this woman's problem?

'Welcome to the show where no-one is safe.

'It's Sam & Mark's Big Friday Wind-Up!'

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Welcome to the show that's winding up the world.

In studio two in Salford, it's Big Friday Wind-Up.

My name is Cian and I'm holding a bucket of candyfloss for no reason.

Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Sam and Mark.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

BOTH: Welcome to the weekend!

-Yeah, boy!

-Oh, yeah.

-Oh, yeah, we do all our own stunts here on Big Friday Wind-Up.

-We do.

I'll tell you that for free. What are you doing? Get out of the shot!

Get out of the shot! THEY LAUGH NERVOUSLY

Anyway, you'll love tonight's show.

We have only got Strictly star and Insania legend Peter Andre. Yeah!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And there's an extra treat -

The Vamps will be performing in Weekend Wind-down.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Not only that, we'll be putting someone's parent on trial,

and playing our filthiest game yet.

AUDIENCE: Ooooh!

And find out what happened when we took our hidden cameras

to Preston to play a game of In Yer House.

Mark's sat on his walkie-talkie,

which means I can't speak to him,

cos he's sat on his walkie-talkie.

Basically Mark is an idiot.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

But before all that, remember, on this show, no-one is safe.

That's right - we shall now reveal our next targets...

Through the medium of rap.

-Yeah!

-Whoo!

Here we go, here we go, yeah!

# Talking about a pair of music loving males

# Who come to the studio all the way from Wales

-# Wales!

-Thought they'd spend their evening relaxing and chillin'

# Well, I've got news for you, Houram and Dylan! #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah.

Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo!

-You can stop doing that now, Mark.

-Oh, OK, sorry.

-How are you doing, guys?

-Fine, thanks.

-Yeah.

-What did you think of my rapping there?

-Brill.

-Amazing.

-Thanks, guys.

-Thanks, lads.

-Incredibly kind, I think.

Now, we hear that you two are both musical geniuses.

What kind of music are you into?

-Well, I'm into opera. Classical.

-Lovely, lovely.

-Lovely, classical.

-What about yourself?

-Rap.

-Brilliant. Nice.

-All right.

-Can you give us a quick demo of your talents? Is that all right?

-Yeah?

Is that all right? We want to hear that, don't we, audience?

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE I'll give you that. You take that.

Go for it. Take it in turns, do something together -

whatever you want.

# His palms are sweaty Knees weak, arms are heavy

# There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti

# He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready

# To drop bombs but he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down

# The whole crowd goes so loud He opens his mouth

# But the words won't come out He's choking, how?

# Everybody's joking now The clock's run out

# Time's up, over, blaow! #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

All right!

-Bit of Eminem? Nice, nice.

-Excellent.

-And what about yourself?

What have we got opera wise?

La donna e mobile.

-Yeah...

-It's about 5:30, mate.

LAUGHTER

-Go on.

-Go for it.

# La donna e mobile

# Qual piuma al vento

# Muta d'accento

# E di pensiero

# Sempre un amabile

# Leggiadro viso

# In pianto o in riso

# E menzognero. #

Oh, wow! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That was awesome! We completely put you on the spot

and you massively delivered.

You know what? You deserve to win some prizes for that.

I reckon you should come with us as we play...

Opera-cadab-rap!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Welcome to Opera-cadab-rap,

the game that - you guessed it - combines opera with rap.

-Oh, I've just got that.

-Did you just get it? Aw, he's a little slow.

Anyway, Dylan and Houram, we are going to be asking you

to identify a series of popular songs.

But you won't be hearing them in their usual style.

Because some will be sung by our prima donna Jennifer Coleman.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

SHE SINGS A HIGH NOTE

Lovely!

And the rest will be performed by our resident rapper -

it's PRo!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Nice.

Now, for every one that you get right,

you guys will win a prize from the Wind-Up prize stash.

That's nice, isn't it? AUDIENCE: Ooooh.

-Boys, are you ready?

-Definitely.

-Yeah.

-Definitely, love it.

I like it. In that case, Jennifer, take it away.

# You're insecure

# Don't know what for

# You're turning heads when you walk through the door

# Don't need make-up

# To cover up

# The way that you are is enough

# Everyone else in the room can see it

# Everyone else but you. #

Oh, yeah!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Beautiful.

OK, lads, what do you think that song was?

-What Makes You Beautiful.

-OK.

Let's see if you're right.

# You're insecure

-# Don't know what for

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

# You're turning heads as you walk through the door... #

What a beautiful version as well. Fantastic.

-Yeah, great version.

-Well done, lads.

OK, let's go to the next song. Off you go, PRo.

# Give me one good reason why I should never make a change

# Baby if you hold me then all of this will go away

# My friends and family They don't understand

# They fear they'll lose my heart if you take my hand. #

-Oh, it's a tough one.

-Yes.

-Tough one!

-It is tough.

OK, they're having a chat.

What do you think, lads? What's the answer?

Any idea from the audience? Any idea?

AUDIENCE MURMURS: Budapest!

-Budapest?

-Budapest!

LAUGHTER

-Budapest? Never heard of it!

-Budapest?!

Let's have a listen.

-# Give me one good reason

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

# Why I should never make a change... #

Nice. Well done, lads.

OK, that's two prizes from the Wind-Up prize stash.

OK, Jennifer, next song, please.

# This hit That ice cold

# Michelle Pfeiffer That white gold

# This one's for them hood girls

# Them good girls Straight masterpieces

# Stylin', wilin'

# Livin' it up in the city

# Got Chucks on with Saint Laurent

# Gotta kiss myself I'm so pretty. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Really good. Ha!

I think you know this one, lads, don't you?

The weirdest version of Uptown Funk.

LAUGHTER No disrespect!

Let's have a listen, see if you're right.

-# This hit, that ice cold... #

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Nice work, lads!

Lovely stuff. So that is three prizes now from the Wind-Up prize stash.

-You're doing well.

-Well, OK, over to you, PRo.

# When my hair's all but gone and my memory fades

# And the crowds don't remember my name

# When my hands don't play the strings the same way

# I know you'll still love me the same

# Cos honey, your soul could never grow old, it's evergreen

# And baby, your smile's forever in my mind and memory. #

Very tough one, that. Very tough one.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

OK, lads, any idea what that song is?

What do you think, audience?

AUDIENCE SHOUTS: Thinking Out Loud!

-Oh...

-Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, it is Thinking Out Loud!

LAUGHTER

Is it, though? Let's have a listen.

# When my hair's all but gone and my memory fades... #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That was really difficult, that one. Really difficult.

Well done to you to and the audience. Well done.

That means that you have just won yourselves four prizes

from the Wind-Up prize stash.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-What do you think of that, lads? Happy?

-Yes!

-Excellent stuff.

OK. But now, you can risk those prizes for tonight's star prize -

these state-of-the-art headphones

-for all your music listening needs.

-AUDIENCE: Ooooh.

Good prize. OK, audience, what do you reckon?

Do you reckon these lads should stick with the prizes they've got,

or should they risk it? Stick or risk it?

What do you reckon, guys?

AUDIENCE SHOUTS

Are you going to stick or risk it for a biscuit?

We're going to...

-BOTH:

-..risk it!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

They're going to risk it!

This is your toughest challenge yet.

Jennifer and PRo are now going to perform a rap opera duet

of a well-known song. A hip-hopera, if you will.

-LAUGHTER Nice! Good one.

-Thank you.

Take it away, Jennifer and PRo.

# I stay out too late

# Got nothing in my brain

# That's what people say

# People say

# That's what people say

# People say

# But I keep cruising

# Can't stop, won't stop moving

# It's like I got this music

# This music in my mind

# Saying, it's gonna be all right

# Be all right. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Yes!

Let's hear it for Jennifer Coleman and PRo!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE They're amazing.

Fantastic.

OK, so, Houram and Dylan, you did decide to risk it,

so this is for all the prizes -

the four prizes you've already won from the prize stash

and the headphones.

Please, silence in the audience from now on.

What was the song that Jennifer and PRo just sang?

-BOTH:

-Shake It Off.

-By Taylor Swift?

-Yeah.

Best of luck, lads. Let's see if you are right.

# I stay out too late

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

# Got nothing in my brain

# That's what people say... #

Yes, it was Shake It Off by Taylor Swift! Well done, lads.

Congratulations. That means that you do go home with all of those prizes

and tonight's star prize, the headphones!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-What do you think about that, lads? Happy?

-Yes!

-Brilliant.

Also, you're going to be playing our endgame a little bit later on

in the show, so you could win some more prizes.

I know, you'll be like this going home!

LAUGHTER

Please, ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Dylan and Houram,

and of course, Jennifer Coleman and PRo!

Thank you very much, guys.

Hi, I'm Lindsay Russell.

When I'm not staying super cool things for Blue Peter,

I like to watch super cool things on TV.

Sometimes I even watch Sam and Mark's Big Friday Wind-Up as well!

'Ladies and gentlemen, tonight on the Wind-Up Wheel, Mr Peter Andre!'

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Lovely! Peter Andre, how are you?

-I am very well.

-Just slightly apprehensive about what's about to happen.

-Don't be!

I know you two!

No, it's fine, yeah, yeah. You know what?

We're bringing the old-fashioned celebrity interview full circle.

It's funny, because it's a Wheel!

LAUGHTER

Here's how it works - we'll be spinning Peter until he's dizzy.

If he lands on Truth, we'll ask him a very pertinent question, probably.

But if it lands on Wind-Up we'll give him a forfeit,

and it could be literally anything.

-How are you feeling now, Mr Peter Andre?

-I'm WHEELIE being bad.

LAUGHTER

-Here we go.

-We'd better get sorted.

-Let's get started, and...

ALL: Wind up that wheel!

And stop the wheel!

Wind-Up! OK. Peter Andre, choose a number between one and ten.

-Nine.

-Nine! OK.

Ooh, nice! Props for this one.

-Draw a portrait of Sam and Mark in ten seconds.

-Be nice, Peter.

-OK, we'll let you get your lid off your pen.

-Your time starts...

Hang on, hang on.

Shall we pause?

Yeah. Your time starts now.

Ten seconds you said!

KLAXON Time's up!

-Time's up! Time's up!

-Let's have a look at this masterpiece.

LAUGHTER

You know what?

I reckon if we get those big, they could be the new set for next series.

-I reckon so!

-Cheers, Pete.

-Right, it's time to...

-ALL: Wind up that wheel!

Stop the wheel!

-Wind-up!

-Wind-Up!

-OK, Peter, pick a number between one and ten, please.

-Seven.

He's gone for seven, my third favourite number.

Touch your nose with your tongue. Oooh, tricky.

-Hang on, do I have to take my shoe off?

-You what?

-Touch your nose with your tongue!

-Oh, my tongue!

-I thought you said my toe.

-No!

LAUGHTER

I'm from the Midlands! I speak funny!

-It's my accent, I'm sorry.

-It's his accent! It's his accent, Peter.

Touch your nose with your tongue. That's a lot more difficult, yeah.

Not the tongue from your trainer! We don't mean that tongue.

-OK, here we go.

-Here we go.

-He's trying, he's trying! He's nearly...

-I can't do it.

Unlucky, unlucky, unlucky!

All right. It's time to... ALL: Wind up that wheel!

Stop that wheel!

Whoa...

Oh!

Would you believe it? He landed on Truth!

-I didn't think it was going to go on Truth.

-Peter Andre!

-Wow!

-Pick a number between one and ten.

-Um... Seven.

-Number seven.

Se-ven! Here we go. Oooh...

What is the coolest thing you've ever bought in a charity shop?

Interesting.

OK, um... An ice-lolly.

An ice-lolly? I'm afraid that's incorrect.

It was a record of Burt Bacharach's greatest hits.

-Sorry about that, Peter.

-It was close, though.

-I knew it! I knew it!

Well, Peter, thank you very much. How are you feeling after that?

-Confused!

-LAUGHTER

We had a laugh!

We'll see a little bit later in the show.

Please give it up for the wonderful Mr Peter Andre!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Goodbye, buddy!

Off you go, off you go.

-That was fun, wasn't it?

-Lovely man!

Now it's time to meet some of our friends, Charlotte and...

-PETER BEING SICK OFF STAGE

-Oh!

-Oh!

-Peter... Oh, no.

-Being sick. I'm sorry.

-Oh, no.

-Not so cool now.

Yeah, nothing mysterious about that, is there?

It's time to meet some more of our friends. It's Charlotte and Gaby!

CHEERING

How are you doing?

-All right, guys? Are you enjoying the show so far?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

Fantastic. Lovely to have you.

Now, not so long ago we took our hidden cameras to Charlotte's house

for a game of extreme hide-and-seek,

and your parents were in on the whole thing, weren't they?

-Naughty!

-Naughty parents!

-Shall we look at what happened when we played In Yer House?

-No.

Oh, yes, Charlotte, could you please do the honours there in camera 4?

Run VT!

'You are entering the world of In Yer House,

'an elite undercover task force charged with winding up the nation.

'As an In Yer House agent, your objective is to go undercover

'in viewers' homes and complete a series of highly skilled challenges.

'Agent Nixon, you will be manning mission control.

'Agent Rhodes, your accomplice is waiting for you at today's location.

'You must both precede there immediately.

'And remember, don't get caught.'

Here is your mission. Listen carefully. This is today's target.

Her name is Charlotte. She is Agent Gaby's cousin.

This is Charlotte Harris.

Agent Rhodes, you will be hiding here in the back room.

This is a picture of Kimberly Wyatt, Celebrity MasterChef Champion 2015.

HE SOBS

Agent Rhodes, you will have the use of one survival kit.

-Do not open this until I tell you.

-OK.

Agent Gaby, do you think you can help Agent Rhodes

in his mission in hiding in Charlotte's house?

100% yes.

Excellent. Agent Rhodes, is this mission impossible?

No, it's not impossible. It's improbable.

-It's going to be hard, but...

-Stop talking.

-OK, I'll...

-Stop talking!

-Sorry!

-Agent Gaby, you now have to meet up with Charlotte

and get yourselves in the house. Good luck.

-Agent Rhodes, you stay on standby.

-OK.

-How long...

-Stay on standby!

-OK, yeah.

SIREN WAILS

Charlotte and Gaby have just got home from school. OK, Mark.

In Yer House is a go.

OK, Mark, get into your hiding position. Good luck.

Get down, get down!

Nice!

OK, the girls have come downstairs. In Yer House is a go.

INDISTINCT CONVERSATION

Are you that confident that you keep poking your head up,

Mark Thomas Rhodes?

SAM LAUGHS

Fair enough.

-Is someone coming round or something?

-No.

Charlotte is asking if someone is coming round. Yes!

He's already round.

SAM SNIGGERS

Just a little bit.

OK, Mark, the girls are in the room next to you.

That's the living room. Time for Mission One.

On the chair that you're hiding behind there are a number

of cushions - lovely cushions.

I want you to collect as many as you can and make a little den

for yourself behind the chair.

Awww!

-Yes, love?

-Why is there a camera in there?

Charlotte has just asked why there's a camera in the house.

You might be out pretty quick here, mate!

OK, Mark, go on, make a little den with the cushions.

SAM LAUGHS

That's one...

You might want to duck your head a little bit.

HE LAUGHS

I can see you! HE LAUGHS

He can't reach them! He can't reach them!

Go on, you can reach a bit further.

Oh, that's my favourite one, that is. I like the checked cushion.

I love a checked cushion.

BEEPING

He's messed with his walkie-talkie!

He's done something! I think he's unplugged it!

Move, move!

(Somebody talk to me, please.)

Mark has sat on his walkie-talkie.

Which means he's basically trying to speak to me,

but he's not, because he's sat on his walkie-talkie.

Which means I can't speak to him

because he's sat on his walkie-talkie.

Basically, Mark is an idiot.

(He's rubbish!)

HE LAUGHS

(He's just rubbish!)

Can you hear me? Put your thumb up.

BEEPING

OK, Mark, put that final cushion on the top of your head.

Final cushion on the top of your head.

SAM LAUGHS

-Done it!

-Mission One is complete.

You can put the cushions back if you want.

SAM LAUGHS

-Oh, no!

-Careful, careful!

OK. Time for mission 2.

It's time for you to open your survival kit, Mark.

Inside there, you'll find a marker pen and a whiteboard.

Got it.

I want you to do a little doodle of yourself.

And then once you've drawn a picture of yourself,

I want you to stick it on the wall next to you so we can all see it.

Quiet, it's a squeaky pen!

I'll have a go as well.

Let's see if I can do the same picture as Mark.

Here we go.

Nice, it's pretty similar.

Right, stick it on the wall so that we can see it.

So we can see. Perfect.

I think she's seen it.

-Has she seen you?

-She's just seen me.

-Mum.

-Yes, love.

There's a guy behind the chair.

You are going to be out of there.

-Seriously, I just saw him.

-Don't be so silly.

Stay down! Stay down! Stay down! Hide!

They might be coming in, any cushions?

-Oh!

-He's there?

There!

Who are you?!

You're on Sam and Mark's Big Friday Wind-up!

It's Sam!

It's Mark, actually!

That's all right. We were playing a game called In Yer House.

Hello! How are you doing?

-Seriously...that was so bad!

-Worst one ever!

Oh, my God.

It was so hard keeping her in the lounge, she was like, "No, no, no."

I heard you!

She spotted all the cameras as well.

There were cameras everywhere.

There's cameras everywhere.

Are those tears of joy?

I'm really happy now.

By the way, you do know there is a forfeit now

-because you didn't complete the first three challenges.

-I wasn't told this.

Yeah, there's a forfeit, and do you know what? I reckon this is going

to make you even happier so you can help out with it.

I don't think it's going to make me happy.

Mark, I said that there was going to be a forfeit.

You did terribly in this, you only got two missions done.

Girls, enjoy this!

Release the water!

Get him! Get him!

Do some star jumps!

Get on the floor and give me 20! Now!

Stand up and say, "I'm a loser!"

-I'm a loser!

-You're a loser!

OK, girls. At ease.

Got anything to say for yourself, Agent Rhodes?

Anybody got a towel?

Pathetic. Back to us in the studio.

APPLAUSE

When good things go bad.

Dearie, dearie me.

-Girls, what was that like watching it back?

-It was funny.

I forgot most of the stuff that happened so it was nice.

Good. We are going to show you a few more behind the scenes clips

a little later on, you've been fantastic sports.

You're not going to go home empty-handed.

No, we're going to give you some rather spectacular In Your House spy pens.

But you need to collect those from the Wind-Down Zone, and that's

where you're going to spend the rest of the show so please give it up

for Gaby and Charlotte, everyone!

Off you go. We'll see you later.

Go downstairs.

APPLAUSE

When good things go bad.

Right now, it's time to find out what else is coming up on today's show.

Mark licks my filthy dishes.

We get cranking - Splat In The Box.

-And it's only The Vamps!

-In the Weekend Wind-Down.

'Oi, you lot! No silence in court!'

CHEERING

'Please rise for his lordship, Lord Justice Rhodes.'

# If there's any justice in the world

# I would be your man

# You would be my girl

# Oh, yeah. #

'And the hotshot parent prosecutor, Samuel Hermione Nixon.'

CHEERING

PISTOLS FIRING

Yeah! I missed one there, but yeah!

All right, it is time to find out whose parents

are guilty of criminally embarrassing behaviour.

And I tell you who's embarrassing.

You, Martin!

And no, I'm not talking about your beard.

It's a lovely beard, actually.

I'm talking about the time you were on holiday, Martin.

-It was very hot.

-Oh, was it? This is your excuse.

The excuses are coming out already, ladies and gentlemen!

It was very hot and you found a little stream

-and wanted to have a little swim.

-We did.

This is Joe, your son. How are you doing, are you all right?

-Fine, thank you.

-What happened to your dad, what did he do,

because he didn't pack something?

We went on holiday and wanted to go swimming

and we didn't pack our trunks,

so I went in in my boxers but he went in naked.

How odd.

I thought it was sheltered.

How do you find the defendant?

Guilty. Apologise.

First of all, apologise to the world.

Some of the people watching didn't mind.

-I'm very sorry.

-And now apologise to Joe.

-Sorry.

-Well done for wearing your boxers, that's more like it,

-but you're not the only one.

-I'm hungry for more justice.

And chips, but mainly justice.

OK, in that case, I think it's time to call our star witness.

And that star witness...

Give me that camera.

Give me that camera.

Who is it? Who is it?

Who is it? It's you, Thomas!

APPLAUSE

Thomas, please join us in the Wind-up court room

for parents on trial.

Come on, Thomas, get yourself down here!

APPLAUSE

Silence, silence, silence!

Thomas, have you any idea why you're standing before

-this court today?

-No.

Perhaps you need a clue.

Mr Andre, please bring out exhibit A.

Interesting. Thomas, tell me, do these look familiar to you?

My dad's.

Interesting. I think you need to take a closer inspection.

Open the bag and have a good whiff, Thomas.

Thanks very much, Mr Andre. Thomas.

Can you describe the stench?

Egg.

-You're saying that those socks belong to your dad.

-Yes.

But that's not why he is embarrassing,

or indeed your mother is embarrassing, is it?

Please play exhibit B.

# Tumble outta bed and I stumble to the kitchen

# Pour myself a cup of ambition

# And yawn and stretch and try to come to life

# Jump in the shower and the blood starts pumpin'

# Out on the street the traffic starts jumpin'

# The folks like me on the job from 9 to 5. #

-What have you got to say about that, Thomas?

-Nothing.

It's time to bring out the accused,

Thomas's mum and dad Sarah and Phil!

APPLAUSE

# Give 'em the old razzle dazzle

# Razzle dazzle 'em

# Show 'em the first-rate sorcerer you are

# Long as you keep 'em way off balance

# How can they spot you've got no talents?

# Razzle dazzle them

# Razzle dazzle them

# Razzle dazzle them

# And they'll make you a star! #

APPLAUSE

Let's hear it for Sarah and Phil!

Thomas, what did you make of that?

You look like you've got a headache.

-Horrible.

-Horrible, he's saying.

-It's time to reach a verdict.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury.

Do you find the defendant guilty or not guilty?

We have a majority guilty verdict.

I should throw the book at you.

This book of fabulous Broadway songs, you should learn more,

-you're brilliant.

-You really are!

However, you have been found guilty of criminally embarrassing behaviour.

Therefore I sentence you to the next 20 minutes playing pat-a-cake

with each other. Mr Andre, send them down.

APPLAUSE

Justice has been served, but Thomas, I think you deserve a reward

for testifying, so we're going to be giving you this brand-new tablet!

APPLAUSE

-How's that sound, all right?

-Yeah.

Beautiful, and that's not all, because pretty soon you

and your family are going to be playing against Dylan and Houram in the grand finale.

Very exciting. You need to go and join them in the Wind-Down zone.

Enjoy yourself.

We'll see you very soon. Give it up, he's a great sport, it's Thomas, everyone!

APPLAUSE

Is everyone enjoying the show?

Yay!

Well, seeing as everyone is happy, it's time to play a game

that we like to call Lick My Filthy Dishes!

-Right.

-Am I standing in the right place?

You are standing in the right place. Stay right there, my friend.

This is the part of the show where Mark does battle

with a member of our studio audience.

Mark, is the stench of victory within your nostrils today, my friend?

-No.

-Not feeling confident today?

Course I am!

Don't be so ridiculous, I'm the best...

plate licker there is.

OK. It's time to find out who you'll be facing!

It's Yasmin from Southport! Come on down, Yasmin!

APPLAUSE

Yeah! Stand right there, Yasmin, face your opponent.

Look at him and tell me, Yasmin, can you beat Mark?

Do you know what, I'm definitely a number one,

but you, you're a number two.

And you can see, I don't know why I've done it,

but I've been letting the dishes stack up for weeks and weeks

and now there's an even bigger problem.

I've only gone and ran out of generic washing-up liquid!

There's only one thing for it.

You two will have to lick my filthy dishes clean!

What do you think about that?

It's really unnecessary.

Yasmin? Happy?

No.

Each dish contains a different foodstuff.

I want you to tell me what that foodstuff is.

Whoever gets the most right will be tonight's winner, as always.

That sounds easy, doesn't it, guys?

Yeah, easy and horrendous.

Well, there's a twist, because you will be using your tongues

but you will not be using your eyeballs.

It is time to put on your blindfolds.

-Mark, there's yours.

-That's nice.

Yasmin, there's yours. Just a nice plain one.

There you go. Excellent.

Beautiful!

Yasmin, you're up first.

I'm going to get plate one.

Yasmin, you don't have to like it if you don't want to,

but you will forfeit the point, it's entirely up to you.

Here you go!

Taste it.

-That's disgusting.

-It's disgusting but what is it?

Custard.

You're saying custard, you're right!

APPLAUSE

Yasmin, I'm not going to lie,

if you said custard's disgusting it's going to go downhill from here, love.

Oh, dear, that's not good!

If either of you need a drink of water, let me know.

-Do you need a drink?

-No.

Could you not give me tomato ketchup?

Moving on. OK, Mark, are you ready for your first dish?

-Come on.

-All right, here it is, Mark.

Lick my filthy dish.

Where are you?

Oh. Oh, man! That is hot!

Is that curry sauce?

You're saying curry sauce!

It's curry sauce!

1-1. Need a drink, Mark?

-You all right to move on?

-Yeah, fine.

-Excellent.

Right, over to Yasmin, it's time for dish number three.

OK.

I can smell it!

I know what it is!

You don't have to lick it if you don't want to.

Well done!

-Do you want to tell us what it is?

-Tomato ketchup.

It's tomato ketchup!

APPLAUSE

Mark, it's time for your second dish.

Here it is.

-Mark...

-You're not helping, audience.

Mark, lick my filthy dish.

-Did you lick it?

-Oh, no!

Yes, Mark! Oh, yes!

What is it? What's on me filthy dish?

It's like mackerel.

What's mackerel? It's a fish.

-Fish pate. Fish paste.

-Yay!

APPLAUSE

Fish paste. Congratulations.

2-2.

Yasmin, onto your third dish.

Don't forget, you don't have to lick this, it's up to you.

It's your third and potentially final dish, here it is.

-That has peanut butter in it, I knew it!

-And?

And jam.

Yay!

Well done!

-That's horrible!

-Yasmin, well done!

I'll tell you something, you're not enjoying the game at all

but you're playing it very well.

Nice work.

It's 3-2.

Mark, lick my filthy dishes.

Tough one this.

I think you should give it a good lick because it's tough.

-It's beans!

-And?

Think about it.

Is it in like some kind of chilli sauce.

-Not chilli.

-Barbecue sauce?

You're wrong, I'm afraid!

It was beans and mustard which means, Yasmin, you are today's winner!

APPLAUSE

Take off your blindfold, take it off!

Congratulations, Yasmin, you win the I Beat Mark trophy!

What do you think about that, Yasmin?

-I already knew it.

-She already knew it, mate, she already knew it.

Mark, anything you want to say for yourself?

-Can I have some water, please?

-Of course you can have some water.

There you go, brilliant stuff.

You can now go and enjoy yourself and celebrate in the VIP Wind-Down zone.

We'll catch you later, it's Yasmin, everyone!

APPLAUSE

No, this isn't a wind-up. I am Nick Jonas and you're watching Sam and Mark's Big Friday Wind-Up.

What better way to start your weekend?

Welcome to the most sinister game on TV.

-It's got words.

-It's got pictures.

But most of all it's got a big box with lots of horrible slimy stuff inside.

Let's welcome back our star players.

-Dylan and Houram's team.

-And Thomas's team!

APPLAUSE

Dylan and Houram. Please introduce your team.

I'm Dylan, Houram, my best friend,

Kian, Houram's brother, and my auntie, Rashel.

Excellent. Lovely to have you here. Thomas, who's on your team?

Me, Thomas, my sister Emily,

my dad Philip and my mum Sarah.

Excellent, lovely to have you here, guys.

Looking scared stiff!

-Now this is a game of chance.

-And skill!

Each team will take turns to step up to the box of horrors!

Once there, teams,

you will have 10 seconds to answer a general knowledge question.

But be quick, because the longer it takes you to answer,

the more times you'll have to wind up the crank.

For example, if you take three seconds to answer your question,

that means three full turns of the crank.

But don't get one wrong - no, no, no -

because if you do, we have a triple-T situation on our hands.

Mark,

I keep forgetting, what is a triple-T situation?

I'll tell you, Sam.

It's where a team must wind-up the crank for a maximum

ten terrifying turns.

And nobody in the studio will know how many turns will make the box open.

-Stop laughing, it's serious.

-But when it does,

one team will get a right old sliming! It's going to be brilliant.

The other team wins the game.

Which means they will go home with tonight's star prize, a games console!

Yeah! We'll give you the wires and everything so you can plug it in.

OK, for our viewers at home,

time to find out how many turns will open the box tonight.

If you don't want to know, close your eyes now.

Now, to decide who goes first, Sam has a genuine one smark coin.

Dylan and Houram, what will it be?

Will it be Sam's or Mark's? What are you going for?

-Mark's.

-Here we go.

-Best of luck.

It's Mark's! Which means, Dylan and Houram, you guys are going first.

If you'd like to get in position, please.

Best of luck to both teams.

Your time will start when Mark finishes asking the question.

Good luck.

What is the distance around a circle called?

-Circumference!

-Correct!

Very polite that you put your hand up as well!

-Thank you.

-Just so you know, you don't have to do that.

You answered that in three seconds,

which means three full turns. Dylan, here we go.

One.

Two.

Three.

Well done!

You are safe. Please change places.

What is 3x6+14?

-32. Correct!

-Yes, Em!

Well done. You answered that in three seconds.

It was 32, the answer. Well done.

Three full turns, here we go, Emily.

One.

Two.

Three.

Confident. I like it.

Change places.

Ricky Wilson, Paloma Faith and will.i.am

are coaches on which show?

-The Voice.

-Correct!

You answered that in two seconds.

Two full turns. Houram, here we go.

Stepping up like a legend.

One.

Two.

APPLAUSE

It must be getting close, surely.

We did say this was a game of chance as well as skill.

We did indeed. We did indeed.

In America, which month does Thanksgiving fall in?

November.

Correct, Emily. It is November.

-Well done.

-You answered that in one second.

Thomas.

One full turn. See what happens.

One.

We're all right! My goodness, me!

How many months have 31 days?

Quickly.

Five.

Wrong, it's not five, it's seven.

OK, so that does mean a triple-T situation.

Dylan, ten terrifying turns.

Here we go, best of luck.

One.

Unlucky, guys! How are you feeling?

Dylan, you got the brunt of that, how are you feeling, mate?

-Bless him two thumbs up!

-Dylan, give us an opera note right now, go on.

I can't!

Guys, you're not going to be going home empty-handed,

we are going to be giving you these commemorative smart coin sets.

-They are very lovely.

-And a towel.

And a towel, does that sound all right, guys?

Brilliant, and don't forget all the prizes you won earlier on the show.

Massive round of applause, guys, they've been brilliant. Off you go!

Give it up for Dylan and Houram's team!

-Be careful, don't slip.

-Thomas's team, come over here.

Wow, you did really well there.

High and dry, which means you've won tonight's star prize,

a games console!

APPLAUSE

Well done, Emily, on answering that question so quickly.

If you wouldn't have been that quick it would have been you guys

-in the firing line, so well done.

-Let's hear it for our winning team!

Off you go, see you later, guys!

APPLAUSE

-Wow.

-Got them good!

That is it from this week's Big Friday Wind-Up.

Thank you to you for watching.

A massive round of applause for Peter Andre! What a guy!

-And a round of applause for our lovely audience.

-Thank you very much.

But the Weekend Wind-Down is just about to begin.

APPLAUSE

You lovely lot at home are now all invited to our VIP after-show party.

Yes, we're hanging out with everyone we've surprised tonight.

And The Vamps are in the studio. We're going to be chatting to them,

and they're going to be performing their brand-new single.

We've got games, gossip and behind the scenes extras.

-So hey!

-Come on!

-Hey!

-Come on!

-Hey!

-Come on!

-Hey!

What are you waiting for?!

APPLAUSE

-Hey!

-Hey, hey, hey!

-We wound up the week...

-It's now time to wind down for the weekend.

Welcome to our exclusive Wind-Down zone, you all all right?

Fantastic. You'll never guess who we've got - it's only The Vamps!

Look at them lads, all looking lovely.

Speak to them a bit later on.

Love this studio in the heart of Salford,

Notts Forest football ground over there.

-Man United, Old Trafford.

-Yep.

How you doing, everybody, all all right?

Washer lady from the past.

Now, let's get down to business,

because if you missed Big Friday Wind-Up,

here it is in a 30-second recap.

OK, so we kicked things off with a very authentic acrobatic display,

-honestly, it was.

-It was, it was us!

Dylan and Houram played a game that combined their love of rap and opera.

They did indeed. Peter Andre tried to lick his own show,

because he's crazy! Insania!

And we put him on the Wind-Up wheel.

Yes, we put Thomas's mum and dad on trial

for ruining Broadway forever.

Yes, Mark and Yasmin licked my filthy dishes!

And Thomas's team beat Dylan and Houram's team in Splat In A Box!

So there you have it, that is Wind-Up round up in just 30 seconds!

Sorry for smashing your faces.

Mark, sum that up in one contemporary dance move.

Oh, I like it! Nice.

Right, let's move back over here.

Washer lady from the past, you all right?

-Brilliant.

-Brilliant.

Hey, look who's here, look who's just arrived!

Hey, how you doing?

-Dylan and Houram, Thomas and family, how are you doing?

-Good.

-Fantastic.

-You guys won Splat In A Box, so you guys were all right.

-You guys have had to have a shower.

-Get that stuff off your hair.

You look as good as new, lads, as good as new.

We'll see you a little later, give them a round of applause, all right!

OK, I reckon we should play a game with The Vamps.

I think we should play a game with The Vamps

and I just realised I threw my cards and thankfully they're here.

Thanks, man on the floor!

All right, how you doing?

-It's lovely to have you here.

-It is lovely to have you here.

Thank you very much for being in the Wind-Down zone, what's happening?

What's happening in the world of The Vamps?

Just came off our world tour.

Ooh! Been on a world tour?!

Did you go to Barnsley?

-But life is good?

-Life is good.

I thought you said the wife's good.

The wife's good as well.

We've heard that you've gone into a bit of mentoring as well, is that right?

-A little bit.

-What's happening there?

We've got some lovely lads called The Tide under our wing,

nurturing them boys. A great band, they're from California.

And you've brought them down here tonight?

All right, lads, nice to see you!

All right, we're going to play a game with you,

because that's what we do here on Weekend Wind-Down,

so we're going to play a game called the Alphabet Quiz.

We ask you a question - you've got to answer with A first.

The first one's A, the next answer should be the letter B

and so on and so on. Understood?

Excellent, crack on.

OK, you've got one minute, here we go.

Name a vegetable starting with the letter A.

-Asparagus.

-Excellent.

A country beginning with B.

-Bosnia.

-Correct!

A boy's name starting with C.

-Charlie.

-Well done.

A girl's name beginning with D.

-Diana.

-Dora.

-I like it!

-An animal beginning with E.

-Elephant.

-Excellent.

A body part beginning with F.

-Fingers.

-Feet.

-Correct.

A fruit beginning with G.

-Grapefruit.

-Excellent.

A chemical element beginning with H.

Hydrogen.

-You're on fire, lads.

-A UK town or city beginning with I.

Ipswich.

-Nice.

-An item of clothing beginning with J.

-Jacket.

-Excellent.

Lovely jacket, by the way.

A capital city beginning with K.

You've been on a world tour, you should get this.

Chicken, chicken...

Kentucky!

Kiev!

A verb beginning with L.

-Learning.

-Love...is not a verb.

THEY LAUGH

-What am I doing?

-Laugh!

Oh, time's up!

You did fantastically well!

-You got to L.

-You did brilliantly,

a lot better than what we thought you were going to do,

because we got you a D.

And we thought you'd only get to D!

Have this D with... Well, yeah.

That's yours to keep.

Thank you very much.

And let's gloss over the fact that you got to L or M.

Exactly, give it up for The Vamps, everyone!

They'll be performing their single a little bit later on in the show,

but right now, check it out,

it's Gaby and Charlotte from In Your House!

Leave me hanging for about 20 minutes then.

So if you don't know what In Yer House is,

basically, on Big Friday Wind-Up, Mark and I now

hide in viewers' houses and we can't get caught,

and on today's show, Mark, you were hiding in Charlotte's house.

Yes, and I was absolutely dreadful.

I had an absolute nightmare and I think we should have a look,

-have a look see how bad I actually was.

-Straight away,

Charlotte, you were suspicious, weren't you?

-It was game over already.

-Let's have a look, take a look.

Is someone coming round or something?

No.

Charlotte's asking if someone's coming round.

Yes.

He's already round.

Why were you so suspicious, Charlotte?

Because my mum really doesn't like clutter around the house,

and there was loads of ring binders.

-I don't know what you're saying.

-And they all had cameras in them!

-Oh, yeah!

-If you see any ring binders in your house,

we're probably hiding somewhere!

It got worse, actually. It got worse, as we saw on Big Friday Wind-Up,

Mark sat on his walkie-talkie so I couldn't speak to him.

-What did you think about that moment?

-I laughed.

-Yeah!

-It was so funny.

Well, you're about to laugh even more, Gaby, because

this is a bit you didn't see, but one of the Wind-Up team members

had to step in to try to communicate with Mark. Take a look at this.

LAUGHTER

Oh, oh!

Are you there?

LAUGHTER

That was the lovely Emma.

I thought I heard something, like rapping.

I tell you what, you could hear everything,

you should be the spy, the agent, not us.

-You were brilliant.

-Girls, did you enjoy yourselves?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

Thank you ever so much, give it up for Gaby and Charlotte, everybody!

APPLAUSE

We've got a game to play. Dylan and Houram, we need them.

Dylan and Houram, come over here.

Dylan and Houram, are you going to join us for this next game?

-Yes.

-Beautiful stuff. Come over here, round of applause for Dylan and Houram.

Right, you lads stand right here.

-It's a very simple game, isn't it, Mark?

-It is,

it's called Who's Ironing?

It's good stuff, this. Now, basically,

as you can see, we've got Bradley,

we've got Thomas and we've got Yasmin.

All three of these guys are doing an activity, but only one of them

is ironing Mark's favourite pair of culottes. Mark, what are culottes?

We're going to find out in a second what culottes are.

-Excellent.

-And they're splendid, by the way.

All you lads have to do is tell us who you think is ironing

out of all three, so, guys, start doing your business.

Lads, have a good look.

-Interesting.

-Is it Bradley?

-Is it Bradley?

-Is it Thomas?

-Is it Thomas?

-Is it Yasmin?

Lads, what are you going to go for?

Who's ironing Mark's favourite pair of culottes?

Bradley, Thomas or Yasmin?

-Thomas.

-OK, we're going for Thomas.

So first of all, let's go to Bradley.

Bradley, are you ironing Mark's favourite pair of culottes?

I was buffing my mandolin.

-Of course you were!

-Of course you were!

So it wasn't Bradley, let's go to Yasmin.

What were you doing? Were you ironing?

I was plucking a coconut.

-She was plucking a coconut.

-Of course!

-Which means that Thomas was indeed...

-Ironing.

What were you ironing?

-These.

-My favourite pair of culottes.

-What are culottes, Mark?

-I still don't know!

They're horrendous, is what they are,

and guys, do you want to know what your prize are?

-Yes.

-These culottes, there you go!

Don't say we don't give anything on Weekend Wind-Down.

It's now time for this.

Playing today we've got Connor from The Vamps

with The Vamps at the back for moral support. And we've got Yasmin.

Now, before Big Friday Wind-Up this evening

we asked members of our audience

which celebrities they get mistaken for.

We're going to show you clips of our members of the audience now

and we want you to tell us who they get mistaken for, OK?

Shall we have a look at the first audience member? Look at this.

I am often told I look like...

-That's a difficult one, difficult one.

-Write down your answer.

-Write down your answer.

-Any idea? OK, Connor, you've an answer.

Let's see what you've gone for.

-I've put Frank Lampard.

-Oh, yeah!

He does look a bit like Frank Lampard.

-Plays for Man U, yeah?

-Yes!

-No? OK!

Yasmin, what have you gone for?

I've got Russell Crowe.

Russell Crowe of Gladiator fame.

OK, well, let's see if either one of you is right.

I'm often told I look like Russell Crowe.

CHEERING

Well done, Yasmin.

Do you know what, though, he actually does look more like Frank Lampard!

I feel as though I should give you a point!

OK, shall we go to the next audience member. Let's have a look?

I'm often told I look like...

OK, have a write down. See what you think, see what you think...

-Connor, have you got an answer?

-I do.

-What have you gone for, mate?

-We've put to Tulisa.

-Tulisa!

What have you gone for, Yasmin?

-Angelina Jolie.

-Angelina Jolie.

Angelina Jolie. Let's see if either one of you are right.

I'm often told I look like Angelina Jolie.

Yasmin, you are today's winner!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Lads, lads, go and get ready. You're going to be singing us out.

Yeah, indeed. ..Yasmin, here's your prize for winning. It's a scone.

Round of applause for Yasmin, everyone!

So, that's it for the Weekend Wind-Down.

Thank you ever so much for watching. Have you enjoyed it, guys?

-ALL CHEER

-It's about to get even better.

Singing us out, it's the fantastic Vamps!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

# You've been deep in a coma

# But I stood right here

# When you thought there was no-one

# I was still right here

# You were scared, but I told ya

# "Open up your eyes"

# Never saw me as someone

# Who could love you well

# Had to show you the hard way

# Only time will tell

# Revelations and heartaches

# Make you realise

# I was always in front of you

# So, wake up

# Your sleeping heart

# I know sometimes we'll be afraid

# But no more playing safe, my dear

# I'm here

# So, wake up... #

Hands up, here we go!

# So, wake up

# Your sleeping heart

# And we will dream a dream for us

# That no-one else can touch, my dear

# I'm here

# So, wake up. #