Episode 6 Sam & Mark's Big Wind-Up

# Wind me up, put me down

# Start me up and watch me go

# Cos it's easy Once you know how it's done

# You can't stop now It's already begun. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Ladies and gentlemen, good times are just around the corner,

and so are your hosts! It's Sam and Mark!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Hurrah!

-Hurrah!

-Yeah!

-Yeah!

-Come with me.

Look at all these people! Yes, yes, come on!

All right, yes, all right, come on!

All right! Yes! ALL RIGHT!

Come here, you.

People of Britain, welcome to our Big Friday Wind-Up!

And that means one thing, folks, the weekend starts right here!

Yes, and we ought to warn you at home this show is going to be an assault

on all of your senses as we overload you with pranks, surprises and magic.

Ooh! Magic!

But don't worry, if it all gets too much we've got an ambulance

on standby and there's a medic in the house...

CHIMP SHRIEKS

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

-Don't cheer him. Don't cheer him.

-It's a bit weird, that.

On today's show, we're going to be paying a visit to a member of this

audience's house, the only thing is, they don't know anything about it,

-and who knows what we might get up to?

-Indeed, and we've got

two guests on today's show who are guaranteed to make you go "wow."

We've got some crazy magic from Dynamo

and a live performance from Ronan Parke.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

First, let's bust a move and meet the people who make Wind-Up

the blast that it is.

That's right, audience, we're heading your way. Mic me up!

-Cheers!

-Thanks! Hoo-ah!

Nice audience, nice audience today.

Yeah, nice shirt, mate, like it, nice hair, good.

Making an effort, I like it. Lovely, lovely people.

All right, Sarah, how you doing?

LAUGHTER

-All right.

-You look a bit scared?

Ye-e-s.

Don't be. I have heard something today, though, which made me

sit up and take notice, I'm not going to lie to you.

Didn't you, when you were outside waiting to come into the studio,

you went into the toilets, but there was a mistake, wasn't there?

-Yes, there was.

-What did you do?

-Um, I went into the mens'.

-No!

LAUGHTER

-Classic misunderstanding. Was there anybody in there?

-Yes.

Right, a bit awkward, that. What did you say to him?

I thought he was in the wrong place so I just carried on coming in.

Did you, er, do what you needed to do?

No, I realised when the lids were up that I was in the wrong place!

Brilliant! That is pretty embarrassing, wouldn't you say?

-Yeah!

-Pretty embarrassing. Sam, have you got any more?

I knew I was in the right toilet, it was 'er all along.

OK, I would like to speak to you, Darren.

-Hello, how you doing, you all right, mate?

-I am.

I've heard on the Wind-Up grapevine that you can eat a poppadum

in under eight seconds.

-Can't be done!

-Yeah.

-Yeah?

-Apparently, yeah.

-Do you fancy showing us today?

-Have I got any choice?

Not really. We've actually got a poppadum, I don't know why,

but a member of the audience brought it. Cheers for that.

We'll give you eight seconds to eat this, are you up for the challenge?

-Sure, why not?

-OK, give him support, here we go. Right, there you go.

Your time starts now.

KLAXON

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Wow! That was amazing and I can reveal that you did it

in seven seconds, which is a new world record. Personal best.

Thank you very much, that was awesome.

Mark, we've got a world record holder over here, beat that.

How can I beat that tremendous television? I don't know how I can.

I may be able to do it, though,

wi-i-i-th you, Tom. How you doing, mate, you all right?

Yeah. Ha-ha! Again, you look a bit scared.

Now, Tom, what's this I hear about your dad

and the child catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? Explain.

He dresses up all the time and he goes out singing

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang songs, and it is really embarrassing.

I'll bet. Does he sometimes dress up as the child catcher as well?

-He always does.

-Oh, what you doing? Where is your dad today?

-He's at work.

-Is he? That's a shame because I would have loved to...

Oh, sorry. What's that? Sorry, Tom, we're just going to have to stop

for a second because I've just been told we've got some breaking news

and I think you'd better pay close attention.

And some news just in.

Tom, I'm afraid your dad has told you a little fib

because he's actually right there in the Wind-Up studio.

Ladies and Gentlemen, give it up for Tom's dad!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

AH-HA!

There are children here,

I can feel it in my bones. Ah-ha!

I have ice creams, and lollipops,

and it's all free today.

Ice creams, lollipops,

all free today! Ha-ha!

And what's this little specimen? Don't stand too close.

-Sorry, sorry.

-His sharp teeth will bite and fingers will nip.

-Can I have a sweet?

-Er, yes.

Dad! That's great stuff, in fact, a personal favourite of mine,

especially the nose. Tom, how does that make you feel?

-Embarrassed.

-Very embarrassed?

Don't worry, because today we're going to give your dad

a chance to redeem himself and try and win you loads of prizes.

Dad, you need to go and get ready, bit weird, and Tom, you need to come

with me, because it's time to play Dad On A Wheel! Come on!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Got a good feeling about this. Tom, are you ready to see your dad

-as you've never seen him before?

-Yes!

-All right!

In that case, everyone in the Wind-Up audience

please give it up for Dad On A Wheel!

All right, Dad, how are you feeling?

Oh, anxious!

LAUGHTER

OK, it looks like the child catcher has been caught on our

wonderful wheel and on that wheel there are three gold sections.

If Dad lands on Dad, he will win himself a prize.

-That would be nice, Dad, wouldn't it?

-It will be!

-If Dad lands on Audience

he will win a prize for our entire studio audience!

CHEERING

And if Dad lands on Star, he'll win a prize for Tom.

Sorry, I can't stop laughing, he can't see anything!

Not so fast, Sam,

because Tom will need to answer a question correctly to win that.

-Basically, what we're saying is gold is good, yeah?

-Red, however,

is bad!

That's right, if Dad lands on red, he will come face to face with

THE FOAMINATOR!

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, this week's Foaminator is the chimp!

CHIMP SHRIEKS

Come on over. You're looking scary.

Chimp, you know the score, if Dad lands on red,

you need to release a furious amount of foam right in his face.

Foam him like you've never foaminated anybody else before. Understood?

That's a yes.

Tom, if we can just stand here, get out of the line of fire.

-Are you ready?

-Yes!

-All right, in that case, here we go.

Loads of prizes, no big deal, come on, Sam...

TOGETHER: WIND UP THE WHEEL!

Here we go!

Scream if you want to go faster!

Where's it going to land?

Still going, still going! It's going to go... oh!

Oh, dear, it's landed on foam. Would you believe it?

Dad, that means you are about to get foamed by the Foaminator.

Chimpy, get yourself in position.

After three, I'm going to stand behind here, one, two, three, go!

CHEERING

OK, stop. Oh, it smells lovely. Come back over, Chimpy.

-How are you feeling, Dad?

-Er, wet?

-Funny, that! OK,

we've got two more spins, here we go with the second spin! Come on!

Whoa!

APPLAUSE

You were so close to the star prize,

but it means that you've landed on foam.

So, Foaminator, once again, get yourself in position.

After three. One, two, three!

OK, come back over, Chimpy. Dad, you look a right mess.

-I feel a right mess!

-We've got one more spin, let's make it a prize.

-Here we go!

-Come on!

Where's it going to land? Not another foam, surely not!

Oooh!

Over to you, Mark.

All right, good luck. This is the question.

Who is the ogre dad of Farkle, Fergus and Felicia?

-Shrek.

-YES!

Let's see what prize you've won, lets take a look!

AUDIENCE: Oooh!

A bicycle! Otherwise known as a bike! Well done, mate!

That means at the end of Dad On A Wheel,

Dad got foamed twice, but you just won your son a brand new bike.

-Whoa! Got to be happy with that.

-Dad, how are you feeling?

Wet, wet, wet!

You've been a fantastic sport, give it up for our dad and our Foaminator!

CHIMP SHRIEKS

Prepare to be amazed, because Magnificent Man Of Magic Dynamo

is in the Wind-Up studio, and he's got some

pretty impressive tricks up his sleeve. Check this out.

Watch.

Watch...the sign, yeah?

CLICK!

CLICK!

Keep watching, cos there's more where that came from.

Keep watching if you want to find out

why there's a chimp on the loose in someone's bedroom!

As if all that wasn't enough,

we're going to be catching up with Ronan Parke

and he'll be performing live right here in the Wind-Up studio.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

All that great stuff still to come, but now please give

a big Wind-Up welcome to one of the most amazing magicians

-you'll ever see. Dynamo!

-Yeah!

APPLAUSE

-Lovely to have you here.

-Lovely to have you here.

I've got to say, Mark and I have seen your show,

we're massive fans, and we genuinely, genuinely are starstruck.

-Thank you for coming on the show.

-Thanks for having me.

-Any time.

Seriously, come at any time. Now, first of all,

you're constantly doing tricks to people on the streets.

I'm sure people always ask you to do tricks but from now on,

do they get strange around you, are they suspicious?

Can you go shopping,

or do they think you're going to do magic on them?

It's quite funny.

Sometimes I'll just there eating,

just eating my dinner, but people look at me and say to me,

-"I expect something to happen."

-Like a fork to disappear or something.

-"I'm making this sandwich disappear by eating it."

-That's amazing.

If you haven't seen Dynamo before,

we can get him to bamboozle all of us in a minute.

Before that, let's take a look at him in action.

Put your glasses on your head.

Yeah.

See his eyes?

Watch. Watch.

Have you had a major?

Ready?

-ALL:

-Whoa! Oh!

Wait, wait, wait. He changed my album cover.

He took the glasses off my eyes in the album cover.

He moved them up. You could see my eyes.

THEY CHATTER IN DISBELIEF

-Amazing.

-The most ridiculous thing I've ever seen.

When that went out on TV,

me and my brother a few days after were in a record shop.

He picked up the album and went, "Look at this."

Nothing happened. Nothing.

-So, Dynamo, how and why did you get into magic?

-It was my grandpa

who got me into it. When I first started, it wasn't to do magic.

I was getting picked on by two guys at school.

They'd put me in a bin and throw me down the hill.

It wasn't that much fun.

My grandpa showed me a way of taking away their strength.

It's better if I show you rather than talk about it.

-Who's the strongest?

-Ooh...

Do you think it's Mark or do you think it's Sam?

-AUDIENCE:

-Sam!

Cheers, guys. It's all right, I'll watch.

Hang on, I'm going to get embarrassed now.

-Cheers.

-Stand up. I weigh, like, eight stone.

I don't weigh that much so you should be able to lift me.

-Lift me up as high as you can. You can bend if you need to.

-OK. Now?

Yeah.

-So, my feet are off the ground, right?

-Yeah.

-So it's quite clear that Sam can lift me, yeah?

-OK.

-Oh, no.

-I want you to get ready to lift me.

-OK.

-In the same way, but don't lift me yet, just look at me.

I'm going to try and take away your strength.

MARK LAUGHS

Just lift me again.

Oh, my God.

This is ridiculous!

That's amazing. Wow!

APPLAUSE

That's amazing, wow!

You see that...

What I'm loving about this is I've seen you do that trick

on the show. You see it at home, going, "No, it can't be true."

-And then, wow. Trust me, I work out.

-He does.

Look at his guns. Cheers, Dynamo.

So, how did you first get discovered, then?

I'd been performing since I was 11 years old.

I used to make YouTube clips and put them online.

From getting hundreds of views, I got hundreds of thousands.

How much practice have you put in?

The way you are with cards, it must be hours of practice.

I think over the last 15 years,

-I probably put about 10,000 hours in.

-Wow.

That's why we're pretty average presenters.

-I think you're pretty good.

-Bless you. You're too kind.

On the first episode,

we saw you do a big trick where you walked on the River Thames.

Are you into doing the big tricks?

David Blaine's done a lot of things where he's been frozen,

and sat in a box, which, you know,

that's not magic, really,

-but are you into doing stuff like that?

-Um...I'm not really...

bothered about doing the endurance type of stunts that David does.

They're amazing, but, you know, like, I just think

it's not the path I want to take.

But walking across the River Thames was something

I'd been thinking about for...

-since I was a little boy.

-Right.

-Weird, I know.

But, yeah, it took me about five or six years to really think,

"I can actually do this."

And then 2011 was the year that I pulled it off.

It was the scariest thing I'd ever done,

but it definitely has left me a bit of a legacy.

The fact you thought about it when you were younger wasn't weird.

-It was that you can do it.

-Exactly.

-That's weird.

Have you got anything else that you can show us?

Yeah, let's do this.

Lovely.

The way he spins the cards he just... Oh!

Even that's amazing.

-OK.

-All right.

-Regular cards?

-Yes.

-All different?

-Yes, I'd say so.

-Are they all different?

-Yes!

-I want both of you to choose a card.

-OK.

-OK, erm...

-One for you.

-I'll have this.

-I'm going to turn away, so I can't see the monitors.

-OK.

-Remember the cards and show them to the audience.

-OK.

-OK.

-Cool.

-Ready?

-Got it.

-Yes.

-All right, I'll take yours first.

Lovely.

-And then your card.

-OK.

-Halfway down. I'll shuffle them.

-That's fair, right?

-Good shuffle.

-I'll do yours first.

-OK.

Boom.

Wahoo!

Four of clubs.

APPLAUSE That is amazing!

So we've got the four of clubs.

I'm going to place that here. I'll do yours with one hand.

What was the card?

Not the four of clubs, because it's in my mouth.

Oh, what? Amazing.

-That's amazing!

-Oh, wow, that was ridiculous.

-Can I show you one more?

-Yes!

-Please!

Just take a card out.

Right, I'm going for this one.

Just in case you forget it, ten of spades.

-It's the ten of spades, by the way.

-That's amazing.

What I'll do, I'll take the ten, yeah?

I'll put it about halfway down, I'm going to put them on the floor.

-You can see the cards, right?

-Yep.

SAM YELPS

Shut up, shut up!

APPLAUSE

-Wow!

-That is incredible. I don't know what to say

other than amazing. Give it up for magician impossible, Dynamo!

Thank you.

APPLAUSE

Whoa, yeah, oh, yeah!

Did my back in doing that.

Hello, my fingerey friend. You know the score.

We need you to choose someone that loves having fun.

Finger of Fun, do what you ought to.

-Find us a mum and also a daughter.

-All right!

-AUDIENCE:

-Wooh!

# Who's it going to be? #

Ey up, mam, not you.

Who's it going to be?

Not you, not you, not you!

Oh...might be you...

He's got his eye on someone.

Yes!

The finger has indeed spoken. What are your names?

I'm Emily, and yeah, that's my mum.

-And what's your name, Mum?

-Kerry.

LAUGHTER

Ladies, get yourselves down here because it's time to have some fun.

It's time for the Prize Surprise!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Lovely ladies, have you any idea

-why we've brought you down here?

-My dad.

-Your dad?

Why are you saying it like that? Why are you saying it so cross?

He just looks evil.

I think it's about time that we owned up to something.

A few weeks ago, Emily got in touch, so we invited her, her mum

and her sister to meet us at Television Centre

and do a bit of filming for us.

Yeah, you see, they thought they were dishing the dirt on Dad,

but it was all just a cover story -

a classic wind-up switcheroo.

-What do you make of that, ladies?

-It's not right.

-How are you, Mum? Are you all right?

-Not really.

There's a silent rage happening.

The truth was, we just wanted them out of the house

so we could send round a good friend of ours, Chimpy.

-Ooh-ooh-aah-aah!

-All right, Chimpy?

-All right, mate?

-Hey, Kerry, has this come as a bit of a shock to you?

-Yeah!

Now, let me tell you, he had a right time.

You won't believe what he got up to.

You will - you're about to see it!

We will be asking you questions

about what Chimpy got up to at your house

and you'll get a prize from the Wind-Up prize stash

-for every correct answer.

-Before we start,

we need to drop a bombshell - while Chimpy was in your house,

-you'll never guess who he was hanging out with.

-It was my dad, wasn't it?

It was indeed. It was indeed your dad.

Not only did your dad let Chimpy into the house,

but he was the person that stitched you up and organised the whole thing.

-There he is, Mr Smug - Paul.

-How you doing, Paul?

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-No dinner.

-Oh! No dinner! Awww.

-You'll be sorry when we get home.

-Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Let's get back to those prizes.

It's time to get serious and enter gameplay mode.

JINGLE PLAYS

Question one. While Chimpy and Dad were hanging out,

they decided to have a fancy dress party.

Why not? But what item of clothing did they both end up wearing?

A - tuxedos, B - Hawaiian shirts

or C - super slinky, tight-fitting gym wear.

-Obviously Hawaiian shirts.

-You're saying the Hawaiian shirts.

OK, let's see if you're right.

You're looking good, Chimp.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Well done, guys. You got it right.

Which means you get yourselves a prize from the Wind-Up prize stash.

It's getting more surreal. They headed for the kitchen,

as Chimpy fancies himself as a bit of a Jamie Oliver.

He had a look through some of your family's recipes,

but what did they end up making?

Was it A - a roast dinner, yummy-yummy,

B - fried calamari, yucky-yucky,

or C - cupcakes, take 'em or leave 'em?

-Cupcakes.

-Is that what you're going for?

What was the choices?

It was roast dinner, fried calamari or cupcakes.

-Cupcakes.

-It's cupcakes.

Cupcakes. Let's see if you're right.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Awww, nice!

-That means you get yourselves another prize.

-Weird.

Congratulations. Mum, whilst noseying around your bedroom,

Chimpy and Dad discovered a large suitcase

filled with a few handbags,

but what we want to know is how many handbags

did Chimp and Dad find in that suitcase?

Did they find A - seven, B - 17 or C - 70?

-17.

-Straight in there. You know your handbags. You're both saying 17?

-Yeah.

-Let's see.

Well, I make that 17, Chimp.

CHEERING

It was 17. Another prize from the Wind-Up prize stash!

You're doing very well.

All right. Now, Emily, one thing that you may not know about Chimpy

-is that he loves a boogie.

-That monkey's got sweet moves.

He can get down with his bad self. He ended up having a boogie

with your dad to one of your favourite songs.

To win another prize, what song was it?

Was it A - One Direction, What Makes You Beautiful,

was it B - Lady Gaga, Bad Romance, or was it C - Dappy, No Regrets?

It's got to be One Direction.

Really? You like One Direction?

-I love them. I'm obsessed.

-Really?

Let's see if you're right. I hope so.

# If only you saw what I could see

# You'd understand why I want you so desperately

# Right now, I'm looking at you and I can't believe

# You don't know You don't you're beautiful

# That's what makes you beautiful. #

CHEERING

You are a big fan, aren't you? There's about 300 posters there.

-Amazing.

-Who's your favourite in One Direction?

-Harry.

Straight in there.

You've won four prizes from the Wind-Up prize stash.

-Congratulations.

-Very good.

Welcome to the weekend!

It's Sam and Mark!

Your dad isn't actually at the office today.

THE FOAMINATOR!

GIRLS SCREAM

-Aaah!

-Yeah!

-Start the clock!

-Start the clock!

-Are you all right, Dad?

-Yep.

LAUGHTER

Ladies and gentlemen, to play us out -

it's Ronan Parke, with A Thousand Miles.

# Making my way downtown

# Walking fast, faces pass and I'm homebound

# Staring blankly ahead Just making my way

# Making a way through the crowd

# And I need you

# And I miss you

# And now I wonder

# If I could fall into the sky

# Do you think time would pass me by?

# Cos you know I'd walk a thousand miles

# If I could just see you

# Tonight

# And I, I

# Don't want to let you know, I, I

# Drown in your memory, I, I

# Don't want to let this go I, I don't... #